Scribd Logo
Cargar

¡Te damos la bienvenida a Scribd!

  • MAD Magazine 115 (1967)

    Cargado por

    juan
    202 vistas52 páginas
    revista mad

    Derechos de autor

    © © All Rights Reserved

    Formatos disponibles

    PDF o lea en línea desde Scribd

    ¿Le pareció útil este documento?

    ¿Este contenido es inapropiado?

    Denunciar este documento
    revista mad

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Descargue como PDF o lea en línea desde Scribd
    Marcar por contenido inapropiado
    202 vistas52 páginas

    MAD Magazine 115 (1967)

    Cargado por

    juan
    revista mad

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Descargue como PDF o lea en línea desde Scribd
    Marcar por contenido inapropiado
    de 52
    FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD! ITS ANOTHER MAD PAPERBACK BOOK! Yep ... the cool eats at MAD have scratched around and come up with another cat-astrophe — mainly, a collection of no-pussy-footing- around articles, purr-ceptive observations, clawing , criticisms and biting satires — all designed to fill our kitty and make you... ON SALE AT YOUR FAVORITE BOOKSTAND — OR YOURS BY MAIL --use coupon or duplicate-—-. CRIS NAME. = A IQYZID) ADDRESS. es 485 MADison Avenue Orne: Now York, N.Y. a 10022 STATE ip Code PLEASE SEND ME: HOWLING MAD Oo IT ENCLOSE 500 we Maney Oreer pretr! ALSO PLEASE SEND ME THE BOOKS CHECKED BELOW: The MAD Reader LMA Strikes Back Inside Maa Cymer wx 5 Toe Brothers MAD [The Bede MAD (Son of MA (The Organizatice Man the ao TE The Ides of Ma fleniec MAD (1 The MA Foner COMA in oat fe Voegoo aa 6) Soasy MAO Sut (Te ing HAD 1 el ft MD Te MAD Sumpter (it's Worla, weet ete, Mad 1 Ming MAD I ENCLOSE 50c FOR EACH Flas 250 Postage d& Packaging on all orders under #2.00 CODON MARTIN Steps Out EJ BON MARTIN Brunces Boek 10M MARTIN Grops 13 Sivios IE BER Locks At The USA EV DAVE BERG Looks At People Theat New 4 vs SPY CUAMAD took at Og ones MAD's Captain Klutz NUMBER 115. DECEMBER 1967 ne man shozws to another man’s wifol” Alfred E. Neuman WILLIAM M, GAINES publisher ALERT Il, FELDSTEIN, editor JOUN PUTNAM ort dhecimr LEONARD BRENNER froguction JHIORY Ble PUCCIO, RICK MEGLIN sussiae etre JACK ALBERT Jewnath, GLORIA ORLANDO, CELEL MORELLE, JOAN ZECCA, ‘CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS AND WRETERS ‘he ual gang of Hate DEPARTMENTS BEHIND THE ODD-BALL DEPARTMENT More "MAD's Bolieve It Or Nuts. BERG'S-EYE VIEW DEPARTMENT ‘The Lighter Side Of Young Marrieds. ....-.0...-.0.0. 20-88 CAR SICK DEPARTMENT Grim Pie’—A MAD Movio Satira. « DON MARTIN DEPARTMENT In A Supermarkat ..... Cott Tok cesrsscive FLOWERY LANGUAGE DEPARTMENT A Portfolio Of MAD Blooming idiocyncracie: GLOSSARY PRINTS DEPARTMENT MAD's Pictorial Politieal Dictionary .......... see ap. LABOR OF LOVE DEPARTMENT Tho Evolution Of Dating .. LETTERS DEPARTMENT Random Samplings Of Reader Mail... MARGINAL THINKING DEPARTMENT "Orawa-Out Dramas” by Aregones sinklecwsoes PHRASING A COIN DEPARTMENT MAD Mintlies ...... Sens eae PINS AND NEEDLES DEPARTMENT Protest Buttona Through History o...2cc.cseeeeeeeeee 28 POLL-BEARERS DEPARTMENT TY Gaverage Of An Gff-Year Election... i tas RAPPING THE GIFTED DEPARTMENT “Prodigy Magazine” ae “2” AGAINST “I" DEPARTMENT ‘When The Hartz-Avis Rivalry Gets Out Of Hand 02... .22606669 WASTE OF SPACE DEPARTMENT "Star Blacch’—A MAD TV Satire eee. sso0 "Various Places Around The Magazine VITAL FEATURES “STAR BLEGCH" (AMAD TV THE, THE LIGHTER ‘SIDE OF YOUNG. MARRIEDS Fg. 38 4 To TV COVERAGE ‘OF AN ‘OFF-YEAR ELECTION Pg.15 | “PRODIGY” AMAGAZINE FOR GENIUSES Pg.31 “GRIM PIX” (MAD OVE SATIRE) Pg. a2 Bravo! Your ste, “Theow-Up" was sect 10 388 cocina of Being eve. AS fine of rhe unforcanaies who wasted a Small forone and two Bours a ie Tea cy apy oul fave wate cal MAD fined is vemion. 1 got tore out of = ). Eshlernan Enonaste Pa. Your satire of “Blow-Lip” was terrible. ‘This was a truly great movie, and yoo should sicrer hive atermpted eo degrade Dan Silver Lor Angeles, California “Throw-Up" captured every nauseating oeapingless deal of the original movie, tang made me wonder why [hadn't done just chat... throw up! Ruberte Cowan Brons, NY. FINALLY FED UP fm finally fed up with tetery from people who condema MAD for string IW favorite TV show or a favorite sm ‘There people ebvinisly are not eading your fine magrzioe with the coerce st Snade, I myscl, have laughed may ei at sting of what I believed to be Brest shows. The mare 1 enjayed the show, the mare 1 enjoyed MAD's satire of fe’ Em bre that mose MAB readers agree wich fm, These who see MAD a3 aly a eo: Ieetion of vicious, mudslinging articles are certainly readidg the wiong magazine ‘Heney Yorus Artaace, Go VIETNAM NEWSPAPER STORY Your "Doct-Yourself Viecnam News- paper Seory” was so disgustingly «rue chat was unforrunately funny, My cangrani: lesions ma clever, base fal article Randi Solomon Flushing, New York In ardee to-read your article in every povsible way, one mwuld be forced £0 wade through it 479,001,600 times, ‘Other than ther, it was one’ of che Best articles [ve ever read. ‘Nota Pincus Brookline, Mac, Regarding your “Do-Ie Yourself Viet nam Newapiper Story,” I have found that could weite vol of 8,916,099,247.256 different news stories about the war in Vietnam, Fred Ware (Omaha, Nebraska T think your "America, the Beuiful Revisited” was your best article eves. ¥ have said things about water pallu sham, ee before, but never as effective Andrew Bergstein Mecersbere, Pa ‘America, the Beautiful — Revisited” wa ane of the best satires ever published MAD. Never have T laughed co hard, Vthiak it's wonderful that we ean face ‘up fo our faults. My congratulations, ward Endicon Danie, Califorai In your ustal masteeful and brilliant smanner, ‘with grapbic clarity, you have demonstrated once again thar somewhere flong the line, swe have dorgoxten the logy ideals sce forth for us by our farce fathers. Gongrarilations on a superb masterpiece, Mitchell Moore Ie disgust me te read your satine of “America, the Beautiful Revisited.” Yeu must be peevty hard op for ides to sop so low a3 to ridicule a beautiful son an some of aur depressed ateas, Your caa. Ceptof cambining the exo was grotesque Mrs, D.& Murano Azusa, California “America, the Bevurifel — Revisiced belongs in ‘he teach heap! You guys done appreciate your awa county, do Bare Bradberry Atheas, Ga ‘The pictorial “America, ce Bemtifal— Revistad” was an excelent expvesston of 4 lamentable point of view. Perhaps thse few new lyric nes will some up the sh: G liter, unto each word, Thy meauer bain doth sera, Hise thos a brosd, impassioned scons, Novisionaty dream? MAD Eon, MAD Blltor, Gan ha ne under Fhetongs bennty tices or ou inperfet lan Aileen Kis Wheekion, West Va. UAMORTALIZED IN MAD Ac fast! My fondest_wish has boca realized. I have beea immortalized. ia MAD Magazine, shanks to Mort Drucker and Dick DeBartolo and MAD's sative of “The Iron Horse" ia which 1 appear Roger Tocrey Van Nays, California AMERICA, THE BEAUTIFUL-REVISITED (Here Wa Ga Agoin') ‘One of the mom poignant phoro-ssays have ever seen. "A Hyman To Disgr was an accurate classification of #his ar ticle, for it prescared scalisteally some of the incongruises of America, and some of the attocities Americans. commit Saint ely and thi fll ei os AE a time when, apathy increases Sith cach injustice, ie ie epee that Americans be shaken from theie lethargy by articles such as this, Joel Mee Sin Antonio, Texss “AL Hymn To. Disgrace” con labeled the aricle corey. Hews det initly a Bye to disgrace on your part! It wat nor omly ick Baron nad as, thot ie also peesented a ight -sighced look a¢ America, Why not try knorking sme thing else insead of this great counter ‘pete al privileged to ive fn Dolores Jean Randazzo Moods, Connecticut 1 object tm “America, the Beauriful— Revisited’ and to-other ch “sates” that Twescen in MAD. While we cannor pre: renal that certain deplorable situations do fot exis in tbe United States, your fing them ‘out in blune and pain sat- ‘asm tage with half-traths is of dubjous constructive Walue and, needless to say, i po way Laughable. Andy Rangell Denver, Colorado ‘Too many of us ecad to forget ar close out eyes to scenes such as you portrayal, and see nly the beauty that abound in our countty, Thank you for remindiag Gres Mahler Glendale, California Please, stick to humor in your future fisues, "America, the Benitifal — Kee ‘sited was a humorless poke atour grest B. Travis Maenees I De Leon, Tex: the Beausifal~Revisted” de- a mesage that will make people HSE thou He tol or Bensiertion more than any speech by any politician (or his wife) ever will W, Willeare Jones McKeesport, Fa. EVERYDAY GUTS tn “Everyday Gute Magizine” you failed to include dhe mast ersifying ex of all—aacicly "I Foukht Nausea ugh A Whole Issue OF MAD Mag Bisa. Richardson Parle Ridge I “MOTHER GOOSE” BY FAMOUS POETS “Hf Famous Poets Had Written 'Mocher Goose” war ane of the most brilliant pects I have ever read in your magazine Larry Pomeroy Des Afvines, Towa “LE Famaus Poets Had Written “Mother (Goose’™ was entertaining ant interesting. Ty mose cases, you were daiely accurate in your portrayal of the various poets styles Howeres, when T came to "Hosipty- Dumper’ by. Wale Whitman, | was shocked to see that writer Frank Jacobs fad based his parody on one of Whit. man’s worst, “O Caprain, My Capeain, the only rhyming poem prodiced by hin Here is my idea of how Wale Whitman would have written “Huspey Damp”: 0 fragile ovvm in froae of wall upon ‘which ence you sat, Now ever brokea and serewn about such that no beingeean ever re-build you, Nor royal equias beasts, or servants that bexor you, ‘Yeu whom God bas le fall wpoa unclean surface. “You sre mos fc for human consuimpeion Bill Beaty Livoni, Michigan A CHIP OFF THE OLD BOCK 1 hve been reading your magazine for several pears. I was at Eoglsh major in College "(Big deal!) anc a Journalism minor (Bigger fea!) Taman avid ender Of eveepthing from Shakespeare to bthy race walls, «fulltime senior clerk-ypist (art), part-time fasbuon model ( ger barf} ands hopeless poet. | Gcrely believe that your magazine is the ost original and broadly intelicrsal one inthe United States, Your aatze, which ihe higher form of amore unecuall By any exer newspaper or majazine. On aries inceedisly bad ays of) seibly bad life, | have besa. cheesed by feuding your mag. Plesse comtioue, Tf 1 fad an income, { would subscribe “Linsiey Fleur Beck ‘Berkeley, California MAD AUTO SAFETY FEATURES "Some MAD Auto Safety Featurss” svat one of your better sutiical master Pieces. Its ceo bad more people don't think this way instead of Being hypo: ‘critical and blaming the mo industry en: rely for the deaths an our highways, ‘Awromabiles are like guns. They don't Kill, people do. Mike Shatto Professional Hunter Addis Ababa, Hehiopia Fieses oddrow oll cormspondence to MAD, Dept. 115, 485 MABion avenue [Now Yar, New York 10022 FOR JUST ALITTLE FOLDING MONEY YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE FROZEN OUT AT THE NEWSSTAND! (Ongar by Baa Poteet Ses SUBSCRIBE TO ...and have the next 19 issues mailed direct to your own igloo! use eaupon or éuplicate ===. MAD LAD one fre mapinen treme, oDAESS | enclose §5.00°. Enter may name on ITY. your subscrig Land mall me = STATE. Zip-Cade the next 19 issues af MAD Magazin Yep, we're Heth or 9 p4th shuloee 10 ey an Imaisy ‘Wecarse tabidy’s eederiog hast) flleear oo] Wat say we beam Captain Kook! The Tell him Explorer Woodhull on fi Superintendent of to puton Astorald 97-8 says his} ‘temperature is up to 750 degrees! What do By his rubbers! ‘you recommend? “THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE STAR-SHIP “BOOBY-PRIZE'! ITS MISSION, TO EXPLORE STRANGE Er=try your other arm, ‘Sint You're talking inte. ‘Calling Rama wt || your wristwatent The Calling Rama vt || odds are five to one + f that they'll never eae ‘you through THAT! ‘Oh, yeah? Well the odds are own to that place where no man has or all som =| FORWoMEN"? [nodies: % rmnatsureit E tm talking to. Rama IV or The || unexpectediy! Reming me to check your Here—iet} [ etter nury— | Feasserbling Una! think ime elp | | because Tue got you pull | | “the strangest yourself together! That's» 7.895 Amplitude Shock Wave alright! Flob—have you any, dea what's happening your planet? im Flob— Keeper af Thank Heavens ‘you've come! Keeper | NObatit Every day, thousands af people die—voleanoes erupt—lava pours ‘down on homos-—the air ane water is polsaned—and there's been nothing to eat far two weeks ‘ow | tall you, tere are days when | just don't foe lice getting ‘out af hed In the morning! ‘Well, you're Bouid to be Unhappy you take that attitude! Where is your "happy face"? taken aver! We are a doomed have no. Ws undee 1 sea that the ‘What jy disease has. shout fy Shastma= [|] also doomed a Tree! | }your sense of ee Thumar, £09! Positive! Look at this instrument! ‘See? The litle hand fe off Donald Buck! suggest ‘that we tak Fiob back to the "Beak: method of ‘tasting. a bit of this Three-Way Bottle- Openee ‘Actually, 1 — picked the wrong ‘snotos |] is 10% phosphorous, good a: i ‘cant This is good as "WHIP|| metnyt ehlonae, 29% pi “ i ‘tee Blue Secrot"t *N' CHILL" — || "Sng 58% lint with just i But it’s better ut dows at of rit than nething— ave a very 7 espncially with nie favart . the We Bath Pere! ‘And just exactly what] does that mean?! eae at ht were a vegetable! This is 2 ipet him off thie a Human Boing! Have some ‘Ship before he ‘compaction! Kow=da you ‘contaminate ‘think you can find what's the rest wrong with "Old Smelly" hate t when {you Unter your ‘medical knowlode You look terrible, Flob! You took homesick! Well, f you don't want i] | tastay, there's netnine | can do probably || fto-rtop you Here have a plan that Push him outit How dare]| ‘sy save this man, mL imply that would’ || is Pagple anc fis ‘ay ant yeu imply tat | euld |) pranott But hear me ‘get's breath of fresh air— and lean way aut ofthis porthole - banana peel is for? He ipolng te SLIP out) - and ifvwe than beamed ini down to his healthy. peaple, he could warn them ‘of the coming eatastropnel ‘They could beave the planet |] and re-setle elsewhere! We Jeauld change their future!! | “ll eight Wer give = ita tt Emergency stations, everyonct Take over, Me. Speake I youneed me, I'll bie in the athroomn! [tema uearicrmec, || Gamoame camn |[ aan] [ke pee eee ticiee Gy irome en | eae |e [Reaheia ae Sarit” eter meee || yet emer ee, || (ening || sarang i! ase the decibel level—accentuate | | already! Your clathes— Sut—phew! Nefeeeeimat te ee || acre Ste |“ lear the dechs—light the lights—we've | | the iaundry! See—they getothing te hit out the heights... (ity and stained again! Wait na's ff You could've ff capeaint 1 gone—and ff given him a ff can't pul the we've saved ff “tow more ff “ship cut of other) seconds to Bits reverse civitaation |] ga trraugn |} or fram doors! ff ‘his wallet! We're doomed, Captain! Wo're| going to travar baek in timo and crash in the Pre-Historic = ohen Man was savage and bloodthirsty and ervel! that’s currently being waged by “Hertz” and “Avis AVIS STARTED THE BATTLE BY RUNNING THIS AD: D> Nall wall When youre only No.2, you try harder. have to heep moving of sees nee stp piling, ou she problens of nrenta cam Welle AFTER AWHILE, HERTZ RESPONDED WITH THIS AD: AND AVIS QUICKLY RETALIATED WITH THIS AD: Why No.1 has to do something about Avis: Ss No.2 says he tries harder. Than who? FOR ‘You've probably noticed the big in Note advertising lately Ne.tv share ofthe rent ree i getting males ‘And Avs share ts getting Digger. Aaaved onthe atest ges vom 36 miajor airports) “To : Hertz tng of, As you can see, both sides are beginning to play rough. And when “Big Business” plays rough, there's no telling how nasty, and. vicious things can get. Which is why we here at MAD can't wait to see the sparks fly WHEN THE HERTZ—AVIS RIVALRY REALLY GETS OUT OF HAND MAD’S IDEA OF WHAT MAY BE IN STORE, TURN MAG™ PHOTes BY UPA. ve SIDEWAYS LIKE THIS . . - Oy ISKOT TY 07 ysear 494 amoqe Surpaous sXeay wey Su Teiuoa-ae> snus oop Boy ‘aye soy 1944e. 1H 1-ON nay oy Siu sage aye »: © sey oy yey g “Gs0q299 se] UO UE BuZAOWL st Xpoq —due supa ay 2949 suays [wanbs pnoy o sip oy YL so puw gay ing ‘aot om sey oH sum wo Supaq sy wey Swap uly YOU TIE SEV IM ‘aou0y ommag 9yquaas yjfnosyy wy YsnAD Or 1 eip) SHOU SLAY Spoyun ‘yeowur ue usop Fuyaq 03 Supéay Ay *PHsea 91011 217 Buyaq ‘apesna3, 4 snssojo9 popeaup si -1y12 uy do Susea st sry ro 37inans aeypuups w Buyssou ayn 54 sepon cum 2 poxayss pur [ana ay oF dn 8u jo kaons ayy Xq pasans Sy -doop you sf uestaty Say -189}-pon Aus09p 12H 44 3 “squads ayqeaidsop Cuew J© SIP? YOR poog ayy AEC 9] gyuesdky 3y} a} TUS Te TS OU M TAHSAW0d SIHL MOVE Jud THM SIA “CSLNNVONN swooz sayes ano y>wA ULL ssuoje ayy a “$ "on pu + oy souedmap a “103 uyeur ane 0} sasop> aH] e 349% KOU Puy parseys pray paqqe> yomur se apyany 3 PIP as. se ssou Papua a4,am 90 Uf suono8 a4 wage ayy saya 198 or opqe 4am om syaanpe sty ur asypo. oy) Zurppouy sm 3 ‘fe AE peur aonou ora an cdn opew pur pass}y 9aey 214941 PUE 194 yp wopag Buynyy a4 azour srenpor a ADApe 404 ON 14} € OouMOUUE o} poseayd aze S1AY puL 24 eq aonstury *UVAddW TIM OY SIL “SUWIA M3d VW U3LdY ‘ATIVNI ipay weWp e “ON Jana MoU aM Puy -souueg po[Tueds, sH0K WeaTas pue aeig ay) pur soqeeH peed aaqung pue uoSuyseay 282009 Jo puy jem a ays pur CaeTungy yo yunys a8 ways Ing eudy ing “ae 94 Y240M WOpaady HOM 944 SOUMIAILIOS “con asurvile Aqiaqy weopsswy ano Suypuagap usaq 94,944 nOPIA se az14 ‘aarssuddo se sanog Hyg c yo FupsyHyy uaaq as,a0 “savak so somoa ia § sypny © 6q, pazquipays 3q 01 51 aE AO SOUT sunt as go oory ayy u weg oaeaq Jo pnoad 5 stay ee 9561 ufsxsopanwaae i - ps0 9471 padluayyey> Aoesrowog "SA T°ON IHL HIM MOWLIVYSLNNOD THM SIAV ONIHONNd TILS = POLL-BEARERS DEPT. Television docs things in a big way. Coverage of the 1964 Presidential election was extensive, and many hours of regular programming were pre-empted to bring you the returns. In 1965 and 1966, many more hours of viewing were pre-empted to cover these less-important elections. But now it’s 1967, a real “off-year” as far as elections go. Will television find enough material to again pre-empt many hours of normal viewing? Oh, they will! They will! Let's take a look at: TV COVERAGE OF AN OFF-YEAR ELECTION ARTIST: PAUL COKER, JR. WRITER: DICK DE BARTOLO "This is Tem Petty at "Yur Election Nignt Decision Desk! EiTis thisfinal, gentierien? Positive Na changes! Goo Folks... here at yout “Deubion Deak”, wave unan ‘desided ta have turkey sana ‘and mayannaise..andeotfee, regular, with No Sugar WEA Who's an incumbent? Hold on, there, rot have afty mud Tha you, Daw! ere in Gavel Park, the hottest this 1067 election 571 10,422! And 23! \s for "Corporation Counsel That certainly in tithe Temporary President ofthe Board of Freeholders"! ihn herewith me nos, i Soper : sr, HOLOERSE te ‘Rad no, let's salt to one or cur various "Remote ‘edict that Ml Sigler woul ‘ain, ha didnot reeaive malacty ofthe wales eastt Garaner here in Feabae. {] weofticiat” ff wn i 7 : j “wot gmanutel tne] oe? wot rem wnere | tan , fare Dewey | rawUenison | 2 romances | |”™for ‘wee Bi Ranck— | J Good o Good evening—enly FFmaot the Presiae rm the Butler Th Presiaent is autt PHRASING A COIN DEPT, Tn the old days, kids used to collect worthless things like “gum cards” and “bottle caps’. Today, the big hobby among members of our modern younger generation is “coin collecting”. (No fools, you modern kids!). And so, after diligent searching (and some sneaky counter- feiting), we are now able to: present a collection of rare coins and bills that aren’t (but should be) in the catalogues. So feast your beady little mercenary eyes on these MAD MINTLIES The es TWO CENTS e ONE RED CENT -. sameaneis always puting into your private «every door-to-door or-to-d conversations. salesman promises his product « «your wile is always won't cost you unless you're accusing you of belnga 100% satisfied. pincher of, The DOLLAR The PLUGGED NICKEL + «sed cardealers always - -your chances of getting assure you their cars will stop on. «+. your doctor is always telling that raise aren’t worth, ‘you you're sound as, even though you feel awful, The THREE DOLLAR BILL EE ee rare ame wot wi TIN GENUER WEL 2 io LABOR OF LOVE DEPT, From generation to generation, relationships between males and females have wound up in ‘one of two ways: Moderate Misery ... or Complete Misery! That's never changed! What has changed, however, are the attitudes and techniques in the area of “Dating”. MAD ‘now examines three generations of these attitudes and techniques in order to trace... 1890-1910 ; _1930 -1950 THE ARRANGEMENTS In this period, people were very dates. Mainly because the peopl Lua aa jos toward arranging ing were the Parents. nee =| Don'tthey make Then i's agreed || a nice-looking || Bertram and Maud, couple? They |] As soon as they even look aliket |] are twenty-one! In this period, arranging dates was taken out of the hands of parents and handled by young * people themselves. But because of their Victorian upbringing, young people were confused about the opposite sex and didn't start dating u: How camet They taught you have to walk, dice’ they? H No, thay were too {Toiamed to teach at, toa! | ieaened ton 2 street § TODAY Nowadays, not only do young people arrange their own dates, {4 but they know all there Is to know about the opposite sox. Hoy Bopper bon tire mnscre | {Bantag sounds eat aijneterumeeinermtiats || Tcutiseachtoes seotnegue! How'd yeu het godancng || froma thie mang ae ye Been lecturing some poor sot Has face THE MEETING 1890 101 When Bertram and Maud wore both 21, that first date . . 3 arranged years age ky their Parents, finally came to pass. Bid you tai Maul that Bertram is very cute when he's angry, he nas acleft in his chin, ‘and he likes to walk in the rain? Maud... this. Bericamt “Yes. And di you tell ri During this period, boys often met and got to know girls while doing something called a “Fox Trot This was ay activity which the boy sad ar] moved slowly around a Dan in time to musie, helding each other closely. This will never happen agai TODAY Nowadays, the first meeting between a boy a1 is fraug) with suspense and intrigue. Mainly because neither of them is at all sure that it is a meeting. Tike the way you dance. |[ Theyre s0 far apart, |[ He 1S talking to ‘conversation | seen him get-20 Andt iikethe way you" || ‘sho ean'thear him! || pimsaitt om much Bopper as ever | involved before! ook. in fact, ike |] Me might as well be || involvement can the hadith a get! everything about yout || talking to himeeitt || "poor guy take? THE DATING ‘The dating period before marriage young couple of this s generation was understandably short. Like about twenty minutes, : Sa ‘and do you 1 don't know. {thought we'd sort af tean see i's. fy take this man BB teu stand around here on the sRarfora {gonna be all fy a your awtlly suhite, aaa ten step down, ana then ed tort of kil the rest of tha evening 1930-1950 Srec.tions soi ms ekhayrtes date ae Let's see, when | tott my house, I spent two hours an a bus getting Wert, when Pee here: ie cook moan peur n'a but fpf asin her womtown arcs] You dt fo A “vrcanctier nour getting hee”) hom a JYfe wack here Andi ake me tao) person real more Rours on ebuste get back 3) well don famy hove. you nine pritttattey, — aly Sees Nowadays, there are no problems with transportation or privacy on dates. Every kid from 12 on up owns and drives rh No, | mean RUN INFO them—wth, Forget it | didn't see it Hey, how about é ‘tnree times. already! right run int another couplet ‘And you DON'T like te alk in the Fain beacause you're romantiel You do it because yarlvetoo spl tecoe aio THE MARRIAGE 1890-1910 Acces geemese ot ne ‘Your father was wrong! You're NOT cute when you're angry! You're ugly! And that's NOT a ‘iaposition ‘left in your chin! It’. wart! freckle you T9SD-1950 eee sarang; Oo sar easiest wesrone made during this _chvicus reasons. "oh, you've got some wonder ight should have jpposed Saieupetyournoze|s realy’ should have, An if you're = steer, sos thea eat Tmsob=never shauld have married you! “That's a big deal! You ‘and your sponging hustand hava been living in my. heme since you were married! With the madern generation totally involved in kicks and causes, and totally uni young marrieds teday can't possibly know th re incompatible ue Ji neroang tat eant sang 7 Iying wite! She's not frugzinn Ye er mother! She's WATUSIING! To repeat what we g: While dating methods may have changed through the years, the results were often, unfortunately the same. Up to now, there has been no sure-fire way for young people to know how suited they are for each other until after marriage—when it's too lato. THE ARRANGEMENTS te'asncor and siscotnoquar m0 fenrch ofthe ideal mate. For a modest fee, you simply out the detailed questionnaire . . . PHYSICAL INFORMATION EMOTIONAL INFORMATION MORAL INFORMATION rake becca eee 3a tamer tan bey ona Tike bogs aad ps cquly (3) LWILLNOT ORJLCT TO THE FOLLOWING Tene eee 2") ACEIVITIES ON May FINGT DATE: Under (S55) 350 ( rs pi ee hae op a ee ae co Leeaeteoe oh oe [hate boys and girls equally ———( ) ‘Hugging and squeezing. wink} MY EVES ARE (CHECK ONE}: Tem ry amclioesl bac y Kissing mf Bice) mmm) molt > cowe( > fiancee ot) Ratng oon oO MY DATES EYESSHOULD NE (CHECK ONE): Taugh when Pm happy - 1) Gring even further = ss Bluc{ ) Brown ( } Harel( ) Closed( ) terywhen'm happy ) 4) MY HAIR 18 (CHECK ONE): Thave many bad habbits .... oad: Going the furthest pomible for Ek (x Paros Ga) Med Coase ) ee Rives ad Fatt Cy, allt et) MY DATES HAIR SHOULD BE (CHECK On): Teche oof Ue abeve eb ol) a er Cay ed ve ye ce ese meen re Co eng oe mre oO THE DATING ro'rore suspense about compatbity of interest, You hmow exact what you both have in common, and you do nothing but share all of these things together. Sornyt Whst would you Father do tonight, go Bowling before ie ga to Night Cour. or after we go to Night Court? "Me, too! But we've got ta do ONE of therm You're yelling first! So—MAKE UP YOUR MIND WHICH ... | apain, Henryt However, today there are people who claim that all this will be changed by a revelutionary now system which will cut through the uncertainty and deliver the goods scientifically. And so, in the same step-by-step process we've just used, let us examine the new phenonenon called... OmPUTers THE MEETING ‘Once questionnaire is filled out and processed, a meeting is set up for you with a person of the opposite sex who most closely conforms to what you desire in a mate, and who shares the same interests with you. From the very beginning, you two speak the same language .. - SRR et POI Carol Kemper! [EY my Nase iteh, l enjoy Bowling and visiting Night Court. Earthquakes depress ral Republican. I've got an Impacted ve Heng Trask, BA om computor Srocersed ante ror orgh THE MARRIAGE Thanks to computers, we may soon see marriages in which both partners are perfectly matched, share everything in common .. . and wish to heck their Parents could have arranged a wedding for them with people they had nothing in common with. ‘Hart | just hed a terriblo cramp in my tegt That's great! Marvelous! what in blazas aro you saying "Ouch" fort Don't you realize what's happened? We've finally found an area of conflict Your ‘That's greall I can't even getany pleasure out hatred for me and fv lave foryau! ‘of personal pain without you sticking your We'll ese it Wiel cherish it We won't Tet it ie! W'll have real fete about itt Te won't work! ‘Tig emarriags is lke 2 teri Yeah! Thare was this nightmare! it's Wie that awful hideous monster ia an ‘dream! had last night. ‘orange hat, and he— ‘Oh-oht Farget about it ‘YOU dreamed it. too? JM Stop i! | can't stand it anymore! Me neither! I'm going home to mother IMM Yours or mine? PINS AND NEEDLES DEFT. Wearing those sick, shocking, and sometimes downright pornographic “Protest Buttons’ seems to be the current craze among the members of the “IN” crowd. Well, we've got “PROTEST BUTTONS” LEARN A ZEUS Lesson Fzom -METHUSELA en IS ste) binry ou voor oF mal ul OEA 0/ “a a osoipus Rasputin He ee | Michelangelo. Mama's euclio ante) Can't Draw A Soe IS A Sloby Straight Line : Billy The Kid SQUARE y Any Rides Side— gem SZ? Emperor GOR Saddle 7% Ean Have , eopatra Napoleon news for them. Wearing “Protest Buttons” isn't a new craze at all! In fact, it's a very old idea! And here's the proof ... as MAD presents some rare examples of . . . THROUGH HISTORY ARTIST: BOR CLARKE WRITER: STAN HART Attila i MERLIN Psalms The Hun Louis XIV USES Are Hor Breath J Garter g MIRRORS) Pisissies Haydn Ponce : Is De Leon HANNIBAL’S HACK Uses WHAT'S ELEPHANTS Face SO Great ARE MESSING Tie ABOUT | ). UP THE ALPS Marquis Cream. e Sade Aterandeg - Really Knows How To Hurt FLOWERY LANGUAGE DEPT. PORTFOLIO MAD BLOOM ING im Lust Matherhood : IDIOSYNCRASIES a Anant lib Saal Exhibitionism Seli-Preservation Shyness Youth and Old Age 5 i re Introspection Hypocrisy Anxiety ei Lame Flirtation Introversion: Indecision jon-Conformity PAPPING THE GIFTED DEPT, Since the “Clods” of the world have their o i wn magazine (MAD oughta be a magazine for the “Geniuses” of the arid ee MAY 1967 Price ‘MY TEN YEAR STRUGGLE ‘TO WIN THE CONFIDENCE OF MY PATIENTS” By Dr, Guy Dean ‘The Famous 16-YeorOld Brain Surgaon n4eae A Parent Speaks: “OUR GIFTED SON DOESN'T APPROVE OF OUR MARRIAGE!” Oe THE CONFESSION OF A GIFTED TWO-YEAR-OLD: 4 Dropped Out Of MIT Because Of Embarrassing Diaper Rash” ee “| Alwoys Thought [Was A Gifted Ghild—Until { Discovered My Parents ‘Wore Actually Sts by peoe Yord 4 THE DENTAL TRAGEDY OF A CHILD PRODIGY: HAIL My Teeth Are Wisdom Teeth!” ‘By Eugene (Smiley) Gore ARH ‘A 6-YEAR-OLD‘S. COMPLAINT: “My Parents Don't Understand ‘Ma... Mainly Becouse [Throw My Tantrums In Esperantar by Wilbur Orville Ss eee y “WHEN | WAS THREE, | HAD oie sea THE MENTALITY OF A = rs Se MAD NINE-YEAR-OLD . .. AND LAY WATE oo ot ES ne I STILL DO! The Tethed Child Inventor by George Li In Rockiell ARTIST: S08 ORLANDO WRITER: STAN HART. a ARE YOU ASHAMED OF YOUR PARENTS? Nout tio you, bring your “GIFTED CHILD friends howe fer atk intorml gatberiag, why zafer the embarsntone baving to tron lice, them to your types, ll mal par= ata? Now you cam say goodbye to ther fek= ‘nus losis asi! adios remarks! Play Htmart: before our next social afar, call RENT-A-PARENT” 5 er eh ‘Yes, now you can rent moonlighting MT. Profesiors and A-E-C. Scienlits by the how, day or week, for parties, gatherings, vaca: tion, oF maybe if you'd jist Tike to Bave an Intelligent adult to talk'to for a change! CALL “RENT-A-PARENT” TODAY! MISSING OUT ON THE FUN BECAUSE YOU'RE GIFTED More ts the toch youn bean snaceSing fer Read it betce yeu tame yar moat U2 Test. Hania a the Wieks necessary ta gel an LO. Scare of 33 when ‘yor actualy have Bn 1.2 of 185, New, you Tee can i td avaage cod. wekone fa arte cladist socly. Ro fonper will yeu be seemed or supa ry, tau a0d for excellence and those! for able ty This book ml abe you hapey eg ams SEND $3.00 TODAY TO NAMELESS.FACELESS PUBLICATIONS, BOX 2, N.Y. PERSONALS ‘TO MY GIFTED SON, RAYMOND: Since you ran away, U have soen the light. Touliee now that aur family ean live bap pily. ‘There will be a more bickering, NO ore tension, and no mare competing be- tween us for Mommy's attention, All you have to da is STAY AWAY! Dad, ASK SMART ALEC Soret your Gifted Chilf Prewlems te “Ask Smart Ales, AW hetore etd Be wit mie 208 ee this magazine ess they alt, can gigi, toa Dear Smart Alec Tam a siscyearold college sophomore. This semester, [joined a fraternity, bs Lam very disappointed. At the {rat parties, the enly things the girls want todo are dange and make out. Fve tried—Lord knows, Ive tried In find & young lady waa wants to talk about Integral Calculus or Classical Greek Literature. Hut [ve unsuccessful, Do you have the telephone numbers of some girls who AR kissing and making out all the tase? rustrated Signed; Dear Frwsinarec No, thank God! Bo yow have the telephone numbers of some girls who ARE? Dear Smart Alee: My home life is just awful. All day long, Exery lime I say something, hear this voice as 7 “{ don't understand! What do you mean?” It's becoming ant you pleate advise me on how I should handle my father aad his endless questions? Signed: Upset Son ‘Next aime your father questions one Nasuraily, ke will eeply., “Because why 130, that's why!” Ter whicte tre will cow what's why?” to whch you can afer,” why!?” At dhis paint, your father will either siop asking questions oy ll ht In ither case, you're the winner. your statements, us anemer, “Because! To which you can rejoin, “Because r with “Why, just hecause you seid Why mot just because F xaid io, edar's i Dear Smart Ale: ‘Something very strange happened to me last week in our Special Gifted Child Chass. [was called upon to give a talk on Current Events, and so I delivered ten-minute speech explaining President Johason’s Farcign Policy. Immediately thereafter, was dropped out of the Gilted Child Class tall me why? net Wee Signed: Wounded ‘Anyone who understands President Johnson's Foreiun Palicy das to be an idfot, anid docen't beiong ina Gifted Child Class Dear Smart Alec Tam deeply disturbed. Recently, 1 wrote my Congressman suggesting legislation ‘on monetary reform, Although I'am only 7, Foffered a revolutionary plan for curbing the wage-price inflationary spiral, avoiding recession, and reducing our gold outelow. My Congressman never even anewered me. [hve enclosed # copy ‘GF my fetter to him for you ta see. Why didn't he answer me? Dear Disiiasioned have read your letter and Lagree mat it has some remarkable ileus. However, 1 i enim yr Canerermion a or enter Sou oni Your at sentence, which | quote: "believe shar this multfoceted opprogch to monetary reform is both vlable and tmnaginacive, amd 1 hope that you wil fucorponate it feveral apsroaches lato a bil for tatretction spon the far of Congress thit session, and if you don't, you'rea rotten doudy. Dear Smart lee: Perhaps you ean help me, Iam having a very difficult time with my pareats, Although they both have Ph.D, degrees, they are quite stupid. They claim they cannot understand me, that they cannot reach me, and that they canna handle me. As a resuli, communication between us has broken dewn, and our mutual con tempt is growing day by day, How cam a Gifted Daughter handle this problem? ed: Distraught Si Dear Distranghi: ‘Frome the sy ter. You sound ree Gifted Davegh- toms you describe, I question witether you ea perfectly normal teenage girtto me. PRODIGY MAGAZINE Is eciod by an for Ged Chive, olaugh soe parts a itnay Be en ered thr Inn eters tenho righ ely hava Q's of Ihe an The Magaziog ae been (soren sd cdoeren ieevleu prvi fat Towvters oh mua fat shere a Srl ary thatthe tue typen of mapacinen do ot satay am Thin in me Al puieation fer dhe chien, and we made ya lock, mate ya lock, ade a tcy 6 queria bt Herat LIFE WITH ar ee eee eee Rie re eM crore SUN Teer etal ee ey eee aera earn eect Rea ee ee) ‘ OW HAPPY I WAS ON THAT FATEFUL DAY Hes shed i tie second child. How thrilled [wax when the nurse ey Game fo me a few hours hater with a tiny buby in her arms, ind how amazed [was when the kid looked up Salt “Hello, there, Me, Gardens! I'm your new son! theee awl then, I had the feeling this child was di ance! him Marvin ‘afte ‘and brought him home. told me swbiat to do, life with the infant Marvin went along just ‘occasional incident, such as Marvin's jan's diagnosis. But Marvin soon ease himself, the Docior did not have ent Medical K night Marvin his The Joys and Sorrows of with a Gifted Child ct as Pert Tee te, eet a eT ive ieee ft meee Sat aed eee without its problems. For exampl id with am LO. n calling her “Big Stupid.” And there's M mother who carries wallet-si plans for his frst birthday party_ta be catered by the Princeton Insitute Por ‘As for Marvin, things ties are so highly developed th Forexamp! aehanse to get all his abuse. [ leave copies of nd it drives him crazy Tives, we've all be to say that we ar loing something about |. We froup Therapy. fe family sits around and tries to work oul its problems gether. However, L have my doubts ahaut the success of this venture, Marvin is condueting the Group Sessions. the little stinker und the b Ries “2 a THE INQUIRING PHOTOGRAPHER QUESTION: What was your most difficult problem? Asked of Gifted Children in the Reference Room of The Publis Library Jane Retch, SI Floral Pai I remember once entered an 1.B.M. Contest. I was given problem that would take a computer two days to answer, and then Twas put into a room for an entire day to solve it. My most difficult problem was that I didn't know what to do with the rest of my alter- neon \ Harvey Brut, Nine-Years-Old Secaucus, N. J. My most difficult problem is in the field of music, T have the darndest time hum- ming the main theme from Haydn's 102nd Symphony. I keep gelling it confused with his 1OIst and his 103rd. But it doesn't really bother me. suppose everyone has the same problem. Phyllis Potts, Seven-Years-Old smo Beach, Calif. ‘As you know, I am famous for memoriz- ing facts and figures faster than anyone in the Free World. My ‘one problem is that also forget facts and y figures faster than anyone in the Free World. Er—what was that question again? old Peter Bilge, Ten-Year: Scranton, Pa. ‘In as much as I have never had a difficult problem in my whole life, I would be ob liged to say that an- swering your ques- tion about my ‘most ifficult problem is my most difficult problem, Goings On In The Top Two Percentile jarnboum By Bernard “Brainy” Mi, Glited Cale and Cuys xossip about the “Smart Set ‘you sh if you're really 0 wn by now! (Our condolences to poor Eli Tashman, who had a brilliant medical career ruined last week. Eli was all st for his Medical Board Examinations, but coulda’ get to school, Seems his Mother as seriously ill, ate there was no ene else tar watch Fi toss the sireet ... Aint It A Shame Dept: Nick Liol, the four-year-old whizskid Ean name every Secretary OF State from G jngton’s adaninisteation to the resent ane, Too bad nobody's ever asked him Send a“'Get Well” card fo Specd-Reading ‘who isin the hospital with a dislocaied i, Gres, 26 This is On Frankiin, the cited Chall Artist, hove copy of “THE BLUE BOY" wat fautenticn few experts could tell Ie feom the famout origina, Unfortunatly, the” Art Beale ta whom Don sald It for 5 recard breaking $500,000, turned out tm ba-ans of thos vfs. That's "The Last Supper” Dan Is painting on the wall of his prison cll Which Gifted ChildsDeon of which Easter: University was all upset when hie trunk from ome arrived last week and he discavered that hi arents Bad fore his rubber sheet? ... Teh-Teh Dept.: Even though seveeryearald Seting a torrid fashion pace creating amard.wlaning hairdos, Mr. and Mx. Gruder are sick about it. Alter all, Leslie fa boy... Hate off to Lance Alot, the eight-aouthald “sunderkind" who already has a vocabulary af 5000 (count ‘em—S000) wards. Unfortunately, Lance can't put any of them inte a ‘ingle coherent sentence. ‘Rock Semish, 50m of Maia Queen, J Samish, sews why hes krewes Hoty wond! (ified Chic by veelag off the crack names and dates of all his rather Pity poor Larry Draper, the young genius who never made a single mistake or gave a wrong. answer in is eleven years. Well, it appears that the pressure of Somewhere, sometime making 3 hoo-boo was too mbch for Larry, sa he decked to break the sizeak himself, on purpose. Last seek, for the Gist time in bis life, be save a wrong answer, Hawever, everyone accepted it as the fight answer, since they all new Latry never maker 3 mistake, Drop him a line

    También podría gustarte