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  • MAD Magazine 073 (1962)

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    59 vistas52 páginas

    MAD Magazine 073 (1962)

    Cargado por

    juan
    revista mad

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Descargue como PDF o lea en línea desde Scribd
    Marcar por contenido inapropiado
    de 52
    Why these sluggers belt every pitch with TEA, the “pot” refresher pence hi tae Carisciay SEPTEMBER 1962 Pogple se on vatstion te forget bingy ant when they oben sy forget Allred F, Newman lei bes, they remember what PUBLISHER: William M. Gaines EDITOR: Albert. Feldstein ART DIRECTOR: John Putnam PRODUCTION: Leonard Brenner EDITORIAL ASSOCIATES: Jerry Oe Fuccio, Nick Maglin LAWSUITS: Martin J. Seheiman PUBLICITY: Lary Gore, Richard Bernstein ‘SUBSCRIPTIONS: Gloria Orlanda, Calla Morelli, Alan Eliat CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS AND WRITERS: The Usual Gang of Ktiats DEPARTMENTS DON MARTIN DEPARTMENT Don Martin Leoke At Doctors “The Good Dectar In Africa” ....2.....- ee 18) “Tho House Call” i mi dd) “in The Laboratory”. .....2c+.eeeseceseeeseeaee 215 “The Veterinarian Sega iberea “The Anosthotiat™ 2 cased? GRIMM REALITY DEPARTMENT ‘The MAD Book Of Mader Fairy Tales... 0. 00cceee 18 JOKE AND DAGGER DEPARTMENT Spy VS. SPY vesccesesevere A 8 GpY ME SPY VE SPY sc. sscaiesest scons ssssssases 42 KIDDIN' ON THE KEYS DEPARTMENT Typeuti-TOONG os. escessees Haas Jeeetcauecuen aABe LETTERS DEPARTMENT Randam Samplings Of Reader Mail ........2..ccessceeeee 2 LITTLE-READ WRITING HOODS DEPARTMENT Racketeer Illustrated «<0... MARGINAL THINKING DEPARTMENT ‘Appropriate Birthplaces For Séme Famous Folk ........... SPEAKING FROM PICTURES DEPARTMENT ‘Who's ln Charge Here? emt ee a TALK OF THE TOWNS DEPARTMENT Read Signs That Reflect The Language Of The Region ......10 THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE PREPOSTEROUS DEPARTMENT Bananaz... ile Cue PEN Sip es ST ee TOO WEAK WITH PLAY DEPARTMENT ‘The Lighter Side Of Summer Vacation .......-...-0.0.-1+-88 WHAT'S THE USE? DEPARTMENT I Products Only Worked Under Demonstration Conditions . 92 WHO'S COVERING UP? DEPARTMENT The Subtle Seience Of Packaging .......2.cceccseseseve AB "*Various Places Around The Magazine ve woth Kress Won Fork oh Seu trees iatlense VITAL FEATURES BANANAZ, 8 The “buneh' on this shaw tick eo close, they i pied the tle’ of MAD's version of this “Tegath naas Western with A-Peol REGIONAL ROAD SIGNS ...¢.-00-0-10 To errant drivers, these: if ‘Road Signs" in the lang- 2 vago of the ragion could 27/e bo the punctuations teat ame before the sentences. DON MARTIN LOOKS AT DOCTORS ....13 Doctors have baon looking, at Den Martin for years Naw he roversos the prac: fice, and the practice of medicine eullars reve FAIRY TALES. .....,..48 ma madarn ‘hat ars 23 the Upon a Time” kind leok real in comparisan, RACKETEER ILLUSTRATED . om MAD does a stake-out on the Underworld's official magazine, Stink down to a newsdenler, and get your copy... Before he opens IF PRODUCTS ONLY WORKED 2 TSS A look at how if would be i praducta sly worked Undar the same. conditions tu hoe present In Usk Mk liste WV cermonsteations SUMMER VACATION «2.20. 000000000 0.38 Ate Everybody is entitled to £0255 ||\QR summer vacation, except = U \ guy responsible for CaS" tee arte. beck the aS he was on it at the time. SUBTLE SCIENCE OF PACKAGING .....43 ] ae While the Aviation Co's | aro working to conquer IM Packing Co's are working toveon/usa “inner Space.” ISA TO AMERICA’S “WAST WASTELANDS” blaingthraugh the overgrwth af hae T. ‘uoning the hes at Halos wild ie, vengieg the atracitios ot Mad. kv, scalps, FORTIFY YOURSELF TODAY! ON SALE AT ALL NEWSSTANDS — OR YOUES BY MAIL MAD POCKET DEPARTMENT 880 Third Avenue, New York 22, N.Y. PLEASE SEND ME: (_) THE MAD FRONTIER Also please send me: | enclose Cl The MAD Readar CO 40¢tert COMAD Strikes Back (_75¢for2 Cilnside MAD. ($1.05 for 3 Utterly MAD ($1.40 for 4 The Brothers MAD (81.75 for 5 (The Bedside MAD ($2.10 for 6 (Son Or MaD ($2.45 for 7 (The Organization MAD [| $2.80 for 8 (Like MAD (183.15 for 9 [Tho Ides Of MAD ($3.50 for 10 (Fighting MAD (83.85 for 11 and ifyou're really loaded _[[] $4.20 for 12 TIDONMARTIN Steps Out 118.50 NAME. ADDRESS. erry. ZONE___ STATE. On orders ova WA ad 1894 esr ABSOLUTELY NO CHARGE! Me wary? has Heer, 1 fenton ee ier en {Se tse ab, bepk. “Whai-Eol LETTERS _DEPI TARGET COVER ‘The cover of your lest issue is a teat target shot tea times and got a score of ro. You just can't keep from hitting ‘har stupid face in tbe mle, ‘Chazkes Sebree, Je- Louisville, Ky BUILD UP YOUR EGO WiTH the desiga for the By the 8 MAD SCRAMBLE Of course MAD Magazine cannes in- uence the easmorbut when you realiae that other galaxies ate ashing away from he cate of thiry-elghe thoasand miles a second, makes you woader. Ricky Boothe Loe Angeles, Cali A MAD GUIDE TO eussiA PRO Congratulations! Your aetile ia. the ue of MAD, "A MAD Guide To was beilliner piece of satire A Allan Rittet Sioux Falls College, . D just read your "MAD Guide To Russia” and feel I muse congrstil ‘excellent seork, Cl fy fine articles, Dat yoo gutalid yourselves on this one. The ‘was quite timely. and for the mo Rebert J ¥ ‘a5 possible. My teacher ‘caughe me with the Tune issue (No. 71) taal restarted to read it, After readin “Guide To Russia,” be susacsted ‘everyone get a copy of MAD aad sead anticle, Then be gave me the mag back, WONDER. sia, showed I think pour magasine FUL! Your article on cohat a farce con artiele shuld be Your recent act To Russia” vas 3, Bery Blgler sisbure, Pa. MAD. on “A MAD Guile To ur June istic. Even the spose per ar magazine could noe have treated the subject with such invent ress of purpose. A zeal ex feo the Soviet system, Bortstein Brows, N.Y. HAVE YOU READ THE LATEST HEAD LINES? [MAINET, THESE RIDICULOUS LINES THAT TRY TO GET YOU TO ORDER A ieee as pieeee vase envy. STATE, ADDRESS, BISQUE CHINA HEAD OF ALFRED E. NEUMAN MAD BUST 850 Third Avenue, New York 22, N.Y. ZONE (0 ERE SHIPPED CUTSIDCTHEMAA) — A MAD GUIDE TO RUSSIA, CON ‘Your pathetic attemps at humor CA MAD Guide To Rusia.” #71) in the tm of crude covert propaganda is ia hor poor ste and would amuse none bar the indoceinatod motor. The Aasert= can public is constantly bombseded by fanti-Rugsian propaganda from our do smestic "Super Patrion.” Your article ran Tike a chapter from the John Biseh So. fies's Bleetook—aned that cerainly isn't 1 fecl that you owe your readers an apalogy, You stopped your search for froth, a ti knew would Sind favor because ¢ much nicer tha truth, You assumed chat Your readers, paeviomtaaacly intellectuals, dictatorship. is based on falseboo. You ihayethnfercd voursel'es ireage pecking some peey slicaorship over the minds of your readers. The only term for this is yellow journalism.” It is the cowards way out Allan Coleman New York Cry T found jour “iatire” om Russia in very poor tate, Although the ‘was mar meant to be taken se although there mar be some T feel thar such a generally sistor ture af the Soviee Union can only forter stereatypes and add nothing vo our under~ standiag of the USSR. Rather than la ‘yu enerely Follow the sypecal ‘American press ir Pale-al “This isto inform you thar | with my subscrigion. er wmediatly Th of your save pokes. Uncoa if anyone ever, perp, the MAD was “oft 00 eemncr~we ihe Hur of June C271) shovld convince them thar your heer aed bonds ae i the SE lat A the pokes ol he Etwand Fern ‘Chatk, Je. Ry map customers Lam ia the process of sta hospital but Lam having, prospective patients. Would yo send mie your subseripeion lis? BH Burychka Bate : the Feitor" Ed, GAMBLING : uy we Ing boca iinow fe ie cue, | oalp hope tht people, inaread of laughing and thea shugo ‘will be challenged td some Ichard Peirce Wheaton College HoT STUFF All my life 1 have eat chili, beans frijles and tamales weapbed io old ews papers. Yesterday, ther have come rapped ia caver from MAD Magasi Today. have ulcer Pedro Gonzales ‘62 Now Mexico State U., NM. FREE PUBLICITY [HONEST] I sce bp the aricle about MAD ia Newsweek” that you are ten years old Happy Bitthday, and contiaved success ia the forure Kenneth Portnoy Brighon, Mass. David Suskind showed as an example of satire Phil Goldbera Brons, N.Y. ‘permission to reprint a MAD article in their magasine. ‘Tht wae 8 pretty sway of getting out of paying your Bil. AUR ‘Cederhurst.N. Plame address all car MAD, Dept. 72, 050 Third Avenue New York’ Cay 72, NY. MICKEY BITSKO Or Any Other Idiot That Fits This Description: MENTALITY: Low CRIME: HAS UNCONTROLLASLE DESIRE TO. TASTE: LOWER SUBSCRIBE TO MAD if You Fit This Description, You'll Receive A REWARD! Mainly, You'll Get $ Issuos Far The Price Of 8. MAD SUBSCRIPTIONS 850 Third Avenue, New York 22, N. ¥. 1 give upt You've captured me with your stupid atiempts to rab me of my sanity. But | know a Steal when | see one, Hen my name an your subs vext nine Heeves of MAD. Meanwhile, Ul toy to lecate a “fence’"—ta kasp cut the postman, iy $2.00. Enter i ist and send the ADDRESS, ZONE NOW...IN ITS 18TH PRINTING! =a “A GOLDEN TRASHERY OF MAD” (emi cH TL MART £0 issn oF ins ris rawr So if you'd like to own a copy of this hard-cover, de luteanthology af MAD— 136 pages of humor, parody and satire (many in vivid color) from past issues rush the coupan with your money to- day. There is still time to geta valuable “First Edition”...which incidentally also happens to be an “Only Edition"! 1 i ocrvy, MAD ANTHOLOGY 850 Third Avenue, New York 22, N.Y. | enclose $2.95. Please rush THE GOLDEN TRASHERY OF MAD ZONE Alfreds Poor ALMANA' = 5 5 MAD #73 gros on sale Teachers = | Golf Char Eros Rin beans cacy with 26 | rot on 92 catege campuses. S: GR; | 27 | gotta, arvestes tor reshiess ring, 1996, 77> | Teo Hawks aack three Faicors outside | NATO hols fst necting Baa | oa teeth ere aor ce SBS | 29 | Maa tinae iho, “* | pacific Ocean discovered § 30 |oymenan iar BAS. = | “Gigarette-smoting cab drivor ten SES [oe | se to unpaid tones, italian officials it 1 | potesios smote’ hac Geaey | “a | Siniseensaeey en Tase "ae Samgnd Tonbengcompages ha “Domine Easy | ~= | Independance Day, American Aline eslebrates by Senne antlnenes ethe ioe Egaames |g | Secetrceg opecel steven Nights totems,” Ts] Chess champion Bors Muesotaky v= | Bursting water pipe sods vara, 1698 ‘5 | nese maring urine se 1996, % | Stowe ctseee scream “ettomboer the Mala ‘Mao Tse-Tung selects Korean invasion farce, picking “™ | “Gold-digging woman is often 7 |$Sboatcm Counmnn 125000 ron catannenrs61,| & | straied a meeneta™ son | Siamese twin Max Callsh sues = ‘Smithsonian Institute unveils life-size ea | trmer for Separation 1325, foplencttuis Presieysnes. 1358, CS) ara, Sheila EIMilght roports er husband te Postmaster a¢ “Obscene Male,” 1561 35) lalton Ferauahr invents striped mouthwash, 1956, ilk Bastille Day, Wear your “I Like Robespierre’ button teday. “Countries with an averpopulation problem ceftan foke contra of thelr eensus!” : BOR avslops first practical hare air- satening fat mall, 1931 Ludlow Gumbah conditionsr, receives served a one gets Soro at cold pizza and warm bes Chief Rair-in-The-Ear loses alrliner seat 17 | them at "Saciety af Pacifists” annual picnic, 195]. Tq | Giant electronic brain at ast. batches wice after FO ea eee ene ex. | 20 | Coresees Union oul 1980 2] i peraaT RTE RTA ior cw eats Tovboa inca ‘21 | Reistivity, giving US. new hape in space ¥ 22 | often ends up fracturing his scuill”’ Zimmer” S Tes | ox eyrourOverkecelves Plea Pia ore 23 | icite, gots carried away, 1752. = 4 | 24| book on smoking: “The Topic of Cancer,” 1958, | Bat efron devies“irvaron Rave" animng| nt] Or, Homan Ovo esis Pater re ora 5 | pect eched wind tunvons ance aroma 1560" | 26] book on alent *Laey Cateye er! Ion Fy stop ans tates sews CBIDicTas | gg Mesa Da tee RTT Bi | See seh Sta tc aoere"* CSREES. | 2 [Swseat me“viy sone, thu Doro” browne 1960 im | Antique collector, Fenwick Mainspring recovers prized | S% | Sonny Tutts tights with Turhan Bey in min 29 | Mat i tit teks an cerccions yeiomeneks 1311. | 3Q| fence aque Noone buther toweteh, 1961. & ‘75 | arpoepbee bg of crontbow ress 31 | in eet disarmament lalks, Geneva, 1341 intr conases“Pavboy”nfNatonsl Groweahie? P=] Saas tetsal new den tnt sieretn etching ew tnd atvldsakimen oer" | | tharantisimas ot galeon isso, 4 | intr enluses "AD" wn “congresiona Recor”) sr | contrlarst Emu Furdale et unamplyiert. 1S | ftinatttnciog oon tad effets 1987 | Sener ie comer ens hires fe T988 ar | Baby barn with BF tecth in his mouth =, | ve | Aver toon Omar Geambs accuses wite of infionty, '5 | Mother armas him hurton Mentan, 1924, a> | | loser suk nen ene reverses the charges, 1990. 2 | [fet See compasesructa sone avaurumbvin [> [und $a eas ae 92 cebes SE poe 7. [drow tor ishing ring nator sana coy | eeu Us ten, = THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE PREPOSTEROUS DEPT. [NOD “HTT H Hon FO" SHALOM HON Several years ago, a Magazine Editor (who was probably separated from his wife) coined the word, “togetherness.” And it took the country by storm. We were bombarded with messages of “togetherness” by magazines, newspapers, skywriting, and even de- odorant commercials, Now, thanks to television, the ultimate in “togetherness” has been achieved ... The Family Western, Gone are the gunfights and the killing and the brutality. Instead, we're getting love and romance and even compatible color—in . I> Al N A\ N Al ZZ The = pe a ‘Western WRITERS: EARLE BOUD H you fellows ean ‘Shortt, the fret "You an’ Ox ani forpet about gis ‘thing we gotta da MMute for a minute=Sam_ is make sure all the COMMUTE Loco's comin’ this || women are in sate. oe vay. an’ he's plannin’ |] place, Send "er all ive you te-snoct up te town! || out ta the Pawnderos Shucks, Paw! That as a cirty trick! 9 The least you could have done was naiter grew my gun! Like 1 aways say, Short Mort “The terviy that fF _| Vit never forgot Turner Cartwhes! | at our high school graduation decked out in that beat-up leattier wrote him you were coming! EY okay, maw ‘You must be the Gartwh Now shut up, i Dadgum-it, Puen, she’s orscmtlowe' a humdingee! hin't she, together, finds brides toytn er” ir what ait | is ae From the Halls of Montesumea, Pardon reset My || we don't cotton ‘song about Reanarara ite fami and 1810 || ‘ovary poschint ‘of property ag abo Ta the sh fT trate Homesteaders, an’ || Homesteaders! The land's called the Pande were bout froce || "Pingive you ‘An? iva! belongs to me! todeath! Would yau || jus’ wiz months mind if we teceed || "to ast of Gown on your land || land And yout Teatortbe igi |] shed evety dey an hed a patti ora well, nere we J tim ff Then we better are, Primrose! Al got started! Den't mind the Wea 2a og—he only Flee tt bites poor fois! FE Emm kitchent tis biel We call he but f TALK OF THE TOWNS DEPT. Half the fun of touring the country by car—aside from discovering where all the speeds traps are—is absorbing the local color of the various regions. We at MAD feel that the State and County Highway Depts. could make touring their areas even more enjoyable by adopting THAT REFLECT THE LA Cape Canaveral, Newburgh, New York New Orleans, Lo. Chinatown, San Francisco, Col. | sar cman ee =) WORKING DRIVE me | eee, HOW =| CAREFULLY SieNemaee “yy | CHINATOWN | 15 M.P.H. __No srueoee, wo mie! Beverly Hills, Calif. WELCOME To BEVERLY HILLS | SIGNS NGUAGE OF THE REGION Quakertown, Penne. Brooklyn, N.Y. Hyannisport, Mass. THOU] SHALT NOT | | suonrest ROUTE TO WASHINGTON, D.C. HAHVAHD | ni ‘AND TuEH Washington, D.C. ACCORDING 1.8 RELIABLE SOURCE THERE Lb Hollywood, Calif. Phoenix, Arizona West Polat ne A Son! | PRET

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