WEEK 01

Tim Rarick

Nobody is perfect even our parents. Our Heavenly Father even has

“But as you go throughout this course, remember that the only perfect
parent who’s existed still had many of His children defect in the pre-existence”.

"Pero a medida que avanzas en este curso, recuerda que el único padre perfecto
que ha existido aún tenía muchos de Sus hijos defectuosos en la preexistencia".

“So rather than judging your parents , I hope this course will help you look at them
with more compassion”

Because every parent is doing the best they can with what they know. We wouldn’t
fault a child [image changes to show a child being held by her mother] for not obeying
something they didn’t know about, just like we shouldn’t fault our parents for not
doing something they, themselves, weren’t raised with or were never taught. So
please look at this course [A cartoon drawing of a family is displayed behind the
speaker] as a way to understand your parents and your own biases, your own
perspectives.

And always remember that we are trying to be and understand our Father’s
parenting style. Heavenly Father is the one true, perfect parent.

 We’re not going to get there in this life. But I promise line upon line, precept upon
precept [The father, from the previous picture, is embracing his son] as we strive to
understand the mystery of godliness and what we’re here for- we can find lasting
peace in our imperfect parenting now.. 

En esta clase, tendrá la oportunidad de estudiar y participar en tareas que lo ayudarán

a aprender cómo convertirse en el padre que el Señor y sus hijos necesitan
que sea (incluso si nunca se convierte en padre). Esto se logrará , en gran medida , al
aprender acerca de cómo nuestro Padre Celestial es el padre de cada uno de
nosotros. Sin embargo, para que ese aprendizaje sea duradero y te cambie, es vital
que primero construyamos una base sólida sobre el proceso y el propósito del
aprendizaje en sí.

Antes de leer este artículo, reflexione sobre las siguientes preguntas y

luego escriba algunos de sus pensamientos mientras lee y estudia. Es
posible que desee considerar imprimirlo o tener acceso a una copia electrónica
en clase para poder resaltar las áreas que llaman su atención.

 Como aprendiz, ¿cuáles son las implicaciones de saber que soy un agente,
bendecido con albedrío, que puede actuar en lugar de un objeto sobre el
que simplemente se actúa?
 ¿Cómo me preparará la comprensión y el cumplimiento efectivo de mi
responsabilidad individual como aprendiz para el mundo en el que vivo
ahora y en el que viviré?
 ¿Qué no es aprender? ¿Qué es aprender?
 ¿Por qué debemos aprender?
 ¿Cómo debemos aprender?
 ¿Qué tienen que ver sus respuestas a las preguntas anteriores con su
tiempo en BYU-Idaho?
 ¿Qué fue lo más profundo o sorprendente de los artículos? ¿Por qué esto te
atrapó tanto?
W01 Study: Learning to Love
Learning ... Not Grades
To-Do Date: Jan 4 at 11:59pm

 
"The ultimate goal of an education is to make us better parents and servants in
the kingdom. In the long run it is the growth, knowledge, and wisdom we
achieve that enlarges our souls and prepares us for eternity, not the marks on
college transcripts."
— Elder Dallin H. Oaks and Kristen M. Oaks, "Learning and Latter-day
Saints" Links to an external site.Ensign, April 2009
 

Overview
 Task: Study the provided resources.
 Purpose: Prepare for the week's assignments.

Introduction
Course Disclaimer
Let's face it, parenting isn't for wimps or the faint of heart. It's been said that our
children will either turn us into a God or a devil, depending on how we choose
let us influence us. Many professors are quite bias about their field of study and
will talk about it as if it is the most interesting and important area that anyone
can learn. When viewed through the lens of the Plan of Happiness, however,
we can confidently conclude that it is the family that is the basic unit of society
and eternity. As important as physics, business, and medicine are, they cannot
equal the vital and fundamental role of family relationships in this life and the
next. In his insightful book When a Child Wanders, retired BYU religion
professor Robert L. Millet wrote the following:
"For Latter-day Saints who know what matters most and what is and ought to be
at the top of our list of priorities, some things hurt much more than others. It
hurts to bear our testimonies to friends and loved ones who shun our witness as
foolish and absurd. It hurts to see the poverty and abuse and neglect and
degradation in society when we know that the world's only hope is the gospel of
Jesus Christ. And it hurts when we do our best to bring up our children in light
and truth, only to see some of them turn away from that light and choose to
walk in darkness. If the greatest joys in life are family joys, then surely the
greatest sorrows in life are family sorrows."
 — Robert L. Millet, When a Child Wanders, Links to an external site.Deseret
Book, 1996
This is not to bring you down into the depth of sorrow or to assume that this
course will only delve into the difficulties in raising children. But through this
lengthy disclaimer we are highlighting the sacred and personal nature of the
family unit. This means that each of us—regardless if our children are young,
old or if we have no children—have had deeply joyful and painful experiences in
a family setting of some sort. The reality of mortality is that mortal parents will
always raise mortal children. Which inevitably leads to sins and mistakes in the
family. The only perfect Parents that exist are in the heavens...our Heavenly
Parents. In this course you will be asked to consistently apply the ideas,
concepts, theories, and principles to your personal relationships. Because of the
personal nature of this course it might be tempting to either go too deep and
treat it like a therapy session or shallowly skim the material just to get through it.
You will need to find this balance as you move through the course.
As you will learn throughout this semester, we all have assumptions and biases
that we may not be aware of. Some of these biases were developed over a
lifetime of experiences and may not be entirely in line with objective truth. Our
job as parents and professionals is to be willing to consistently ask ourselves
questions such as the following:

 Might my basic views of human nature, relationships, motivation, and

discipline be mistaken?
 Yes, it could be in that way.
 Could I be seeing my family member (for instance, parent, child,
sibling, spouse, etc.) in the wrong light?
 Yes, I realized that in these last weeks.

In summary, the most important work any parent will do will be within the walls
of their own home. This supremely important work is only done by imperfect
people. Personal introspection and application is necessary to truly understand
secular and sacred concepts. Our growth and learning will be largely
determined by our level of humility in seeking objective truths about parenting.
Now let's get into this!

Instructions
Study the following information and resources.

Doing vs Becoming
Have you ever stopped to consider why you go to school? Is it for a grade? A
diploma? A job or career? Is it to impress others with knowledge and
credentials? If any of these are the primary reasons for your learning in college
—and life for that matter—then you might be missing the bigger picture and the
higher blessings associated with the real purpose of education.
In this class, you will have the opportunity to study and engage in assignments
that will help you learn how to become the parent the Lord and your children
need you to be (even if you never become a parent). This will—in large
measure—be accomplished by learning about how our Father in Heaven
parents each of us. However, in order for that learning to be long-lasting and
change you, it is vital that we first build a strong foundation on the process and
purpose of learning itself.
Therefore, in this first week of class we will set the stage for the rest of the
semester by differentiating between doing and becoming. Behaviors vs
attitudes. Body weight vs health. Application vs Principle. Grades vs learning.
Make no mistake, one cannot become like the Savior without doing what He
has asked. Additionally, we don't have to choose between learning and grades.
Each of these "contests" are really two concepts that should support and
reinforce each other. What matters is the focus of our lives. For example,
relying on indicators such as academic grades to determine your intelligence
and self-worth will often undermine your interest in and ability to really learn and
grow.

The Parable of the Apple Watch

To illustrate this idea, consider the following parable. (Disclaimer: you do not

need to own an Apple Watch to understand this parable nor is this a sales
pitch to purchase.)
Many smartwatches today have a feature that tracks the length of your
exercise, the amount of calories you burn, the number of steps you take each
day, and so on. One of the most prominent of features on the Apple Watch uses
three rings to track this kind of data. As you can see in the picture, the inner
blue ring is called the "stand ring" and tracks the number of hours you stand
each day (you only need to stand for one minute to get credit for the entire
hour). The middle green ring is called the "exercise ring" which keeps track of
the number of minutes you exercise each day (this is determined by your heart
rate). Lastly, the outer red ring called the "move ring" tracks the number of
calories you burn while exercising and basically moving around each day. The
owner of the Apple Watch sets their daily goals for each of these rings. For
example, you might have a 12 hour stand goal, 30 minute exercise goal, and
800 calorie goal.
What the Apple Watch cannot measure are the reasons and motives for and
the effects of these goals. One person may enjoy the challenge of closing all
three rings each day and try to find shortcuts in doing so. They feel a sense of
accomplishment when these rings are closed even though their body may not
be getting any healthier. A BYU-Idaho student, whom we will call Megan, talked
about how she learned to cheat by closing her rings with little to no effort. In her
words:
“When I was seated comfortably in my easy chair, unwilling to move, I learned
I could cheat my goals by just waving my wrist in the air like a madman. My
watch would assume that I was moving and tacked on points to my step
count, Move goal, Stand goal, even Exercise minutes when I did it long
enough.”
In essence, Megan was saying "I really don't care about my health as much as I
do about the thrill I get when seeing my rings close."
Think about this.
The purpose of the rings is to ostensibly measure the progress of one's physical
health. But in this case, Megan cared more about the rings than being healthy.
We can imagine her husband asking her to go for a run with him and her
reply: "No thanks. I'm too tired. But take my Apple Watch with you so I can get
credit." As silly as this sounds, it is quite possible we all fall victim to this
mentality in many areas of our lives. Have you ever focused so much on an
external indicator so much that you have forgotten the real purpose of the
activity? Parents, have you ever become so focused on your child's behavior
(do) that you forget the real purpose of raising children (be)?

Grades or Learning or Both?

Understanding the distinction between doing and becoming will help you in
the following weeks as we really delve into the content of this class. This is
especially true when it comes to grades vs learning. President Dallin H. Oaks
poignantly made this same distinction when he said the following:
"The ultimate goal of an education is to make us better parents and servants in
the kingdom. In the long run it is the growth, knowledge, and wisdom we
achieve that enlarges our souls and prepares us for eternity, not the marks on
college transcripts. The things of the Spirit are the things that are eternal, and
our family relationships, sealed by the power of the priesthood, are the ultimate
fruits of the Spirit. Education is a gift from God; it is a cornerstone of our religion
when we use it to benefit others."
— Elder Dallin H. Oaks and Kristen M. Oaks, "Learning and Latter-day
Saints" Links to an external site.Ensign, April 2009
But let’s not limit ourselves to just this class, for there is learning beyond not
only this class, but beyond mortality as well. Premortal, mortal, and immortal
progression is dependent upon our learning. The prophet Joseph Smith put it
this way:
“...A man is saved no faster than he gets knowledge, for if he does not get
knowledge, he will be brought into captivity by some evil power in the other
world, as evil spirits will have more knowledge, and consequently more power
than many men who are on the earth.”
— Prophet Joseph Smith, Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph
SmithLinks to an external site.
Modern-day scripture states that “it is impossible for a man [or woman] to be
saved in ignorance” (D&C 131 Links to an external site.), and that “whatever
principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life [or in this class] it will rise with
us in the resurrection [or stay with us beyond this course and college]” (D&C
130 Links to an external site.). The standard procedure of cramming
information, regurgitating it on an exam, and then deleting can be a significant
waste of time, money, and mortality. More to the point, this approach is not
really learning either.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught that we should focus more on our hunger to
learn than checking boxes in our educational pursuits:
"Education is not so much the filling of a bucket as the lighting of a fire. For
members of the Church, education is not merely a good idea—it’s a
commandment."
— President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Two Principles for Any Economy" Links to an
external site.October 2009 General Conference
We will now have the privilege of studying and pondering from an Apostle of the
Lord Jesus Christ.
Before you read this article, ponder the following questions and then write
down some of your thoughts while you read and study. You might want to
consider either printing it off or have access to an electronic copy in class so
you are able to highlight areas that catch your attention.

 As a learner, what are the implications of knowing that I am an agent—

blessed with agency—who can act rather than an object that is merely acted
upon?
 Knowing that I am able to study.
 How will understanding and effectively fulfilling my individual responsibility
as a learner prepare me for the world in which I do now and will yet live?

 What isn’t learning? What is learning?
 Why should we learn?
 To be more Christ like, knowing that We are able to leranr and love to
le¡arning.
 How should we learn?
 To be an effective tool in this plan not as an object,but being a human being
that i sable to act.
 What do your answers to the above questions have to do with your time at
BYU-Idaho?
 What was most profound or surprising from the articles? Why did this grab
you so much?

Write your answers down to these questions in your parenting journal.

The Gospel Perspective on Learning

Select one of the two articles listed below to study. NOTE: You are welcome to
study both, but only one is required.

 Learning to Love Learning Links to an external site., by Elder David A.

Bednar
 Education for Real Life Links to an external site., by President Henry B.
Eyring

How We Learn
Now that you have taken some time to consider why we learn, let’s focus on
how learning occurs. Cognitive theories and research findings abound in this
area. As a student, you should care about how you learn, because
understanding that key notion can unlock your potential, not only in academic
learning, but especially in becoming a life-long learner. The short video below
shows education reformer Alfie Kohn explaining the research findings on grades
vs. learning.
Watch: Alfie Kohn: "Achievement vs. learning"Links to an external site.
(01:05 minutes, Achievement vs. Learning Transcript Links to an external site.)

 Question to ponder: What are some typical things you or other college

students do that show they care more about the grade than actually
learning? What about children in public schools?
 Expecting a good grade. Taking notes and not Review after.

Consider writing your answer down to this question in your journal.

Below are excerpts from a TED talk by Daniel Pink on his book Drive. Notice
any connections between the research on motivation and learning with the
doctrines and principles Elder Bednar and President Eyring taught.
Watch: Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us Links to an external
site.
(10:48 minutes; The Surprising Truth About what Motivates Us Transcript  Links
to an external site.)
To help cement the idea of how we learn, watch this piece of a documentary
below. As you watch this, reflect on what Elder Bednar and President Eyring
have said about learning.
Watch: Minds of Our Own Links to an external site.(3:08, transcript requested)

 What are you learning about learning from the examples of “top-notch”
college students illustrated in the video Minds of Our Own?
 How might this be true for parenting? Is it possible that you have some
wrong assumptions or foundational beliefs regarding parenting?

Write your answers down to these questions in your parenting journal.

Did I Miss Anything Important?

Are you seeing a pattern here from both the secular and sacred sources on
learning? You are not here simply to get good grades and then forget much of
what you learned. Most of us were trained or socialized to believe that
cramming, memorizing, and getting good grades is how one builds intelligence.
This method may build knowledge, but not understanding or intelligence. Here
is a basic axiom that is supported by multiple studies.
The more one focuses on grades, the less they will actually learn. The more
one focuses on learning, the more grades will naturally follow.
Ask any professor of higher education and they will tell you that students often
ask sincere and well-meaning questions that miss the mark. These questions
often reflect an extrinsically motivated, grade-focused mindset. Here is a
sample of such questions:

 I missed class, what do I need to do to make it up?

 Did I miss anything important in class?
 How much is this assignment worth?
 Is this something I need to know?
 When am I going to need to use this?
 I came to class every day and completed all the assignments, why don’t I
have an “A”?
 I’m sorry I missed six classes this semester. I know there are only a few
days left, can I make up all that I missed?
Let's reframe these questions to help us see how they might look in real life
(questions have a color correspondence):

 I missed church, is there anything I can do to make it up?

 Did I miss anything important at home?
 How much is serving in this calling worth?
 I want to either raise children or work with families in my profession, is that
something I need to know?
 I don't have any children, when I am going to use these concepts?
 I made meals for my family, read scriptures with them, went to church, had
regular family home evening, why am I not exalted?
 I’m sorry I missed six days of eating healthy and working out this semester. I
know there are only a few days left, can I go back and make up those days
of healthy eating and exercising?

Ask Your Peers!

It's time to find out what current and former students think and do in regards to
learning vs. grades. Talk to two different individuals and ask them the
following questions. Write down or record their answers so you won't lose them.
These individuals could be family members, roommates, fellow classmates, co-
workers, or others on zoom. Here are the questions:

1. If you could only choose one, what do you think is more important: learning
a subject or topic or getting an "A" in that subject or topic?
2. If I were to track your past and present studying, reading, attendance, and
test prepping practices for the past few years, would I conclude from these
behaviors that you are more learning or grade-focused? Why?
3. What do you think will benefit a student more throughout their life: High GPA
or avid learner? (Disclaimer: it is possible to get good grades and be an avid
learner, but this seems to be more rare than common)

Write your answers down to these questions in your parenting journal.

2nd Course Disclaimer

Now that you have a deeper understanding of why and how you truly learn, it
would seem rather ridiculous (and hypocritical) if you now expected to get
points for every little thing you do in this course. If you were to read, study,
complete assignments, or complete journal entries simply for the points, then
you would see yourselves only as objects to be acted upon (externally) rather
than agents who act. So, in this course, points will be used sparingly. You will
be expected to be proactive and internally motivated to learn as the following,
slightly customized, scripture states:
“He [or she] that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise
[student]; wherefore he [or she] receiveth no [real learning]. Verily I say, men
[and women] should be anxiously engaged in [raising children], and do many
things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness. For the
power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as
men [and women] do good they shall in nowise lose their [learning and
intelligence that leads to change—in themselves and others].” (D&C 58:26–
28 Links to an external site.)
The topics covered in this class are interesting and will be profoundly important
to you, your family, and all those you come into contact with at work and church.
Rather than expecting to be spoon-fed, if we each prepare our appetite and
meal we can all feed each other. After all, you learning is not really about you as
Elder Dallin H. Oaks so aptly puts it:
"The things of the Spirit are the things that are eternal, and our family
relationships, sealed by the power of the priesthood, are the ultimate fruits of
the Spirit. Education is a gift from God; it is a cornerstone of our religion when
we use it to benefit others.

"Learning with the Spirit is not confined to classrooms or preparation for school
examinations. It applies to everything we do in life and every place we do it—at
home, at work, and at church.

"An education is not limited to formal study. Lifelong learning can increase our
ability to appreciate and relish the workings and beauty of the world around us."
— Elder Dallin H. Oaks and Kristen M. Oaks, "Learning and Latter-day
Saints" Links to an external site.Ensign, April 2009
How can parents raise children that are focused on learning and
becoming if they are only focused on "closing the rings"? Worth pondering!
We finish with a repeat of questions Elder Bednar asks each of us the following:

 As a learner, what are the implications of knowing that I am an agent—

blessed with agency—who can act rather than an object that is merely acted
upon?
That I can do it. No matter what I dont have excuses to not learn in the way
God wants.
 How will understanding and effectively fulfilling my individual responsibility
as a learner prepare me for the world in which I do now and will yet live?
 Doing my best to ge ton it.