Documentos de Académico
Documentos de Profesional
Documentos de Cultura
Avenida Q
Avenida Q
Acto II
El Tema de la Avenida Q
Propsito (Reprise)
Licenciatura?
Apartamento
Mientras ms lo Amas
Si Fueras Gay
Schadenfreude
Propsito
Quisiera volver a la
Racistas
Universidad
Porno
La cancin
Mixtape: Un Disco
Especial
Haces el Amor)
Fantasias se Hacen Realidad
Mi Novia, que Vive en Canad
Hay una Lnea Muy, Muy
Delgada
Licenciatura (Reprise)
Solo por Hoy
PRIMER ACTO
EL TEMA DE AVENIDA Q
[La Compaa]
EL SOL SALIO,
UN NUEVO DIA EMPEZO,
EL DIA ES PERFECTO
PARA IRTE A JUGAR.
MAS TIENES DEUDAS QUE PAGAR
HAY QUE TRABAJAR.
TRABAJAS DURO
Y TE PAGAN MAL
LAS HORAS PASAN
Y MUY LENTO VAN
Y CUANDO LLEGUE EL FINAL
HAY QUE REGRESAR
A LA AVENIDA Q
QUE QUEDA EN CASA DE Q
TUS CUATES Y TU
TU, TU Y TU VIVEN EN CASA DEL CU
VIVES EN CASA DEL CU
VIVES EN CASA DEL CU!
[Brian]
Es que
CUANDO ERA NIO,
SOABA CON SER
[Katy Monster]
Qu?
[Brian]
UN COMEDIANTE QUE SALE EN TV!
[Katy Monster]
hahahahaha oooh
[Brian]
AH PERO MI SUEO
VEO QUE NO SE CUMPLIO
NO SOY
[Katy Monster]
no
[Brian]
AY NO,
[Katy Monster]
mmmmmm
[Brian]
QUE PINCHE SER YO!
[Katy Monster]
nooooooo
[Brian]
QUE PINCHE SER YO!
[Katy Monster]
nooooooo
[Katy Monster]
QUE PINCHE ESTAR ROTO, DESEMPLEADO Y TENER 32!
QUE PINCHE SER YO!
[Katy Monster]
T piensas que tu vida es una mierda?
[Brian]
Ajaaa!
[Katy Monster]
Tus problemas no son nada!
YO SOY BONITA
BONITA Y SAGAZ.
[Brian]
Y muuy
[Katy Monster]
Gracias!
ME GUSTA EL ARTE Y SALIR A PASEAR
SIGO MODALES, TENGO UN GRAN CORAZON
PORQUE? NO ENCUENTRO UN GALAN?
Chin!
QUE PINCHE SER YO!
[Brian]
Nooo, Yo!
[Katy Monster]
QUE PINCHE SER YO!
[Brian]
QUE PINCHE SER YO!
QUE PINCHE SER BRIAN!
[Katy Monster]
Y YO KATE!
[Brian]
NO TENER QUE HACER
[Katy Monster]
DIETAS SIN UN DATE
[Ambos]
QUE PINCHE SER YO!
[Rodri/Nicky alegando]
Ya, ya, ya (No eres mi mama!)
[Brian]
Hola Nicky y Rodri Nos pueden aclarar una duda?
[Rodri]
Claro!
[Katy Monster]
Qu vida les parece ms pinche, la de Brian o la ma?
[Rodri y Nicky]
La nuestra!
[Rodri]
VIVIMOS JUNTOS
[Nicky]
Y MI SIAMES PODRIA SER
[Rodri]
INSEPARABLES SIEMPRE
[Nicky]
DESDE QUE LO SALUDE
[Rodri]
ASI QUE EL SABE MIL MANERAS DE HACERME RABIAR!!
[Nicky]
Qu?
[Rodri]
OH! CADA DIA ES UNA PINCHE FRIEGA
[Nicky]
NO ES CIERTO EL EXAGERA
[Rodri]
NO HALZAS TU ROPA,
Y A TI TE APESTAN LOS PIES
[Nicky]
[Brian]
Ah tienes que hablar con el portero,
esprame ahorita le hablo!
[Eugenio]
Gracias!
[Brian]
Carlitos!!
[Carlitos Espejel]
Ya voy Ya voy!
[Eugenio]
No mames es el Carlitos!
[Carlitos Espejel]
Pa servir a usted!
SOY EL PORTERO,
Y ESTRELLA INFANTIL.
ROBARON MI DINERO
PAPA SE HIZO UN JARDIN
NO SALGO DE DIA
TODOS SE RIEN DE MI
PERO AQU PORTERO YO SOY
EN CASA DEL Q!
[Todos]
QUE PINCHE SER TU!
[Katy Monster]
Tu ganas!
[Todos]
QUE PINCHE SER TU!
[Brian]
Ya me siento menos pinche!
[Carlitos Espejel]
Intenta vivir subiendo
videos en la red diciendo
Uyyy que mello
Ya chole no?
[Todos]
QUE PINCHE SER TU!
EN CASA DE Q!!
(QUE PINCHE SER YO!)
EN CASA DE Q!
(QUE PINCHE SER TU!)
EN CASA DE Q
(QUE PINCHE SER YO!)
ESTAMOS JUNTOS!
ESTAMOS JUNTOS! SI!
EN CASA DE Q
VIVIMOS EN CASA DE Q
TU Y TU
TU, TU, SUEOS Y TU!
VIVIMOS EN CASA DE Q
[Eugenio]
Esta es la realidad!
[Todos]
VIVIMOS EN CASA DE TU
[Nicky]
Te va a encantar!
[Todos]
VIVIMOS EN CASA DE TU
[Carlitos Espejel]
Aqu estn las llaves!
[Todos]
Bienvenido a la Avenida Q!
ESCENA 1
BRIAN
So... Whats your name?
PRINCETON
Im Princeton.
BRIAN
Hey! Buddy! Im Brian, and this is my fianc...
CHRISTMAS EVE
My name Christmas Eve. You so cute... very handsome... you single?
PRINCETON
Yeah!
CE
Because she single...
KATE
OH! Christmas Eve!
BRIAN
Thats Kate Monster. She lives in our building
PRINCETON
Oh! Hi!
KATE
Hi!
(Trekkie monster throws a garbage bag out of his window).
GARY COLEMAN
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
Ooooh!
BRIAN
Morning, Trekkie!
TREKKIE
Oh!, me no time to talk. Me busy... (He closes the window)
BRIAN
And thats Trekkie Monster
CE
He a pervert. You no spending time with him
GARY
Come on inside, kiddo! Ill show you the place
PRINCETON
Oh! Great!
GARY
We have many distinguished people on their best interest in this one, I
trust?
PRINCETON
No kidding!
GARY
Mmmmm...!!!
(Princeton and Gary leave.)
CE
So, what you think, Kate Monster? He cute, right?
KATE
Yeah!
CE
Ha, ha,ha... You go get him. A man responds to an agressive woman.
(To Brian) You! Go get job!
BRIAN
Ok, Im going! (He leaves)
CE
See?
(They leave).
SI FUERAS GAY
En el departamento de Rodri y Nicky
[Rodri]
Ahhh!
Una tarde a solas con mi libro favorito
"Musicales de Broadway de 1940"
No hay nadie que me moleste
Que podra ser mejor que esto?
[Nicky]
Hola Rodri!
[Rodri]
Hola Nicky
[Nicky]
Rodri, no vas a imaginar
lo que me paso
en el metro esta maana
Estaba este wey sonrindome,
queriendo hablar conmigo.
[Rodri]
Oh... que interesante
[Nicky]
Ujum!
El era muuuy amigable
hasta creo que intento ligarme,
tal vez haba pensado
que yo era gay...!
[Rodri]
Y porque me estas contando esto?
Qu me importara?
No me importa
Qu vamos a comer hoy?
[Nicky]
Nu tienes por qu estar a la defensiva
[Rodri]
No estoy a la defensiva!
Por qu crees que me va a importar
que conociste a un gay?
estoy tratando de leer
[Nicky]
Bueno no quise
molestarte con eso Rodri,
solo pens que sera
un buen tema de conversacin
eso es todo
[Rodri]
Pues no quiero hablar de eso
asi que esta conversacin se acab
[Nicky]
Si, pero...
[Rodri]
Se acabo!
[Nicky]
Bueno, okay,
pero nada ms para que lo sepas
SI FUERAS GAY
ESTARIA OKAY.
HAY NO SEAS GUEY,
SEGUIRIAS SIENDO EL REY.
[Rodri]
Ahhhh!!!
[Nicky]
SI FUERA ASI,
YO ESTARIA AQUI,
DECIR SOY GAY
Y NO SOY GAY
[Rodri]
Nicky, por favor!
estoy tratando de leer....
Queee?!
[Nicky]
SI FUERAS PUAL
NO ESTARIA MAL
ERES MI CARNAL
AUNQUE SEAS
CONTROVERSIAL
[Rodri]
Ay, Nicols!
[Nicky]
SI FUERA REAL,
DIRIA QUE ANORMAL
SI DIJERAS SIN CHISTAR
HEY QUE CREES
QUE SOY GAY
(AUNQUE NO SOY GAY)
[Nicky]
DISFRUTO
CONTIGO ESTAR
PORQUE ME HA DE IMPORTAR
QUE TE GUSTE POR ATRS
[Rodri]
Nicols que asco!
[Nicky]
No, no, no no, no!
[Nicky]
SI FUERAS GAY
[Rodri]
lara lara lara lara!
[Nicky]
UNO FUERA CULEY
POR HACERME GUEY
Y SALIRTE DEL POPOTE
SI FUERA ASI
YO ESTARIA AQU
APOYANDOTE SIN CESAR
Y DECIR QUE NO ESTA MAL
NO ES PECADO CAPITAL
QUE NACISTE HOMOSEXUAL
SI FUERAS GAY
[Rodri]
Argh!
ESCENA 2
[Eugenio]
Hey Gary! Thanks for helping me move in
GARY
No sweat! And look, you got your first ...mail .Whats in these boxes?
Anything good?
[Eugenio]
Well, my parents sent my stuff from home
GARY
How nice! And you also got your rent bill, your utility bill, your student
loan bill,
your credit card bill, your phone bill, your cell phone bill...
[Eugenio]
Oh, my god!
GARY
You gotta get money
[Eugenio]
Oh, Ill start work tomorrow(The phone rings).
GARY
Gaaaaary Coleman! Oh, its for you.
[Eugenio]
Oh, thank you. Hello? Oh, hi! (To Gary) Its my job. (Into the phone)
I cant wait to meet all of you tomorrow... oh, Im sorry, I can barely
hear you.
Whats that sound in the background? A paper shredder! But... the
company cant be folding!
Well, how am I suppose to live? Hello?
GARY
Oh, kid! Dont look so long in the face! You know what they say?
If you rearrange the letters in unemployed it spells opportunity.
[Eugenio]
What?!
GARY
Heres a bit of advice. Never underestimate the power of long range
plan.
If life gets you down just sit on your ass and let it pass goodbye.
Take it from someone who learnt it the hard way. Gary Coleman. (He
leaves)
[Eugenio]
Maybe this is an opportunity.
Maybe Im not meant to work in some damn office for the rest of my
life.
Maybe... maybe I have a higher purpose!
VIDEO VOICE
Whats a purpose? A purpose is direction to your life.
It could be a job, a family. It could be the persuit of knowledge or
wealth.
Everybodys purpose is different. The best thing about a purpose is
that it gives your life... meaning.
[Eugenio]
I want a purpose!
PROPOSITO
[Eugenio]
PURPOSE,
IT'S THAT LITTLE FLAME
THAT LIGHTS A FIRE
UNDER YOUR ASS.
PURPOSE,
IT KEEPS YOU GOING STRONG
LIKE A CAR WITH A FULL
TANK OF GAS.
EVERYONE ELSE HAS
A PURPOSE
SO WHAT'S MINE?
Oh, look! Here's a penny!
It's from the year I was born!
IT'S A SIGN!
BA-BA-BA-BA
DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO
I DON'T KNOW HOW I KNOW,
BUT I'M GONNA FIND
MY PURPOSE.
[Eugenio]
COULD BE FAR.
COULD BE NEAR.
COULD TAKE A WEEK
A MONTH
A YEAR
AT A JOB.
OR SMOKING GRASS.
HA!
MAYBE YET
A POTTERY CLASS
COULD IT BE?
YES IT COULD!
SOMETHING IS COMING
SOMETHING GOOD!
[Eugenio]
WHAT WILL IT BE?
WHERE WILL IT BE?
MY PURPOSE IN LIFE IS A
MYSTERY
GOTTA FIND MY
PURPOSE
GOTTA FIND ME
PURPOSE IS A MYSTERY
GOTA FIND-GOTTA FIND IT!
ESCENA 3
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
My purpose in life is to help people find themselves.
BRIAN
My purpose in life is to make people laugh and make money doing it.
GARY
My greatest fear is that Ive already achieved my damn purpose in life
and
from then on Ive been on a slow tiresome walk to the grave.
(Kate Monster comes in).
PRINCETON
Oh, hey Kate Monster!
KATE
Princeton! Hi!
PRINCETON
See, Kate. Can I ask you a question?
KATE
Sure
PRINCETON
Whats your purpose in life?
KATE
Oh! Well.. Im a kindergarten teaching assistant
PRINCETON
Right. But whats your purpose, your dream, your mission?
KATE
Nobody ever wants to know that
PRINCETON
I do
KATE
Well, since you ask... I... oh, no, I cant. I barely know you.
PRINCETON
Oh, come on!
KATE
Ok. When I was a little monster I always wished I had a special place I
could go.
A special school, only for monsters. Sure its important to learn about
the great favors of
western civilization but so much of the canon leaves out monster art
and history.
And we? Our donation? It was always my dream to start that special
school for monsters.
So that, in short, is my purpose.
PRINCETON
He!
KATE
Oh, but Im not an ed kid. I like to have fun and... party!
PRINCETON
So, you are eager on the monster stuff.
KATE MONSTER
Aha.
RACISTAS
[Eugenio]
Oye Katy, Te puedo preguntar algo?
[Katy Monster]
Claro!
[Eugenio]
Bueno, Conoces a Trekkie Monster del Segundo piso?
[Katy Monster]
Ah ja!
[Eugenio]
Bueno, el es Trekkie Monster, y tu eres Kate Monster.
[Katy Monster]
As es
[Eugenio]
Los dos son Monster
[Kate Monster]
Siii
[Eugenio]
Son parientes?
[Katy Monster]
Quee? Eugenio, me sorprendes!
Eso me parece un poco racista!
[Eugenio]
Oh, lo siento!
Solo preguntaba!
[Katy Monster]
Mira, ese es un tema muy delicado
No, no todos los Monsters somos parientes
Que tratas de decir, eh?
Que todos somos iguales para t?
Eh, eh, eeeeh?
[Eugenio]
No, no, no, para nada. Lo siento,
Creo que eso fue un poco racista.
[Katy Monster]
Yo dira.
Deberas de tener
ms cuidado con lo que dices
sobre el sensible tema de las razas
[Eugenio]
Pues mira quin habla!
[Katy Monster]
Que quieres decir?
[Eugenio]
Que tal con la
Escuela para Monstruos
de la que me hablaste?
[Katy Monster]
Qu con eso?
[Eugenio]
Podra alguien como yo
ir a esa escuela?
[Katy Monster]
No, no queremos gente como ustedes[Eugenio]
Ha ha ha ha Ya viste?!
TU ERES UNA RACISTA.
[Katy Monster]
IGUALITA QUE TU.
[Eugenio]
LOS DOS SOMOS ALGO RACISTAS.
[Katy Monster]
Y NO ES TAN FACIL ACEPTARLO
ASUMELO TU...
[Eugenio]
ASUMELO TU.
[Katy Monster]
A VER DIME TU
[Ambos]
QUE SER UN POQUITITO RACISTA
ES NORMAL
Y NO ES QUE SEA UN CRIMEN
CONTRA LA HUMANIDAD
OBSERVA AL MUNDO Y ENCONTRARAS
NADIE ESTA EXENTO DE ESTE MAL
TAL VEZ SEA UN HECHO ENCARAR
POR LA RAZA SIEMPRE
JUZGARAS.
[Eugenio]
Nada trascendente, como el decir
Porqu los negros huelen tan mal?
[Katy Monster]
Ja ja ja ja!
[Eugenio]
O Porqu las viejas manejan horrible?
[Katy Monster]
Hey no!
[Eugenio]
Cosas sin importancia como el pensar
Porqu los choferes de las peseras, manejan como nacos?
[Katy Monster]
Exacto!
[Ambos]
SER UN POQUITITO RACISTA
ES NORMAL
TODO MUNDO ES ALGO RACISTA
QUE MAL
CHISTES A COSTA DEL COLOR
PONEN SIEMPRE DE BUEN HUMOR
NO SON UN ATAQUE PERSONAL
TODO EL MUNDO RIE, ES NORMAL
[Eugenio]
Te sabes este chiste?
[Katy Monster]
A ver!
[Eugenio]
En un avin que est a punto de caerse
Y solo tiene un paracadas va
un norteo, una nia fresa
[Katy Monster]
Y un naco!
[Eugenio]
Exacto!
[Katy Monster]
Ay es buensimo!
[Eugenio]
Buensimo!
[Carlitos Espejel]
Katy De qu hablan o qu?
[Katy Monster]
Estbamos contando chistes de nacos
[Eugenio]
Pero no tiene nada de malo Carlitos
Todo el mundo cuenta chistes de nacos!
[Carlitos Espejel]
Yo no!
[Eugenio]
Ya veo que no,
Porque t eres un pinche naco
[Carlitos Espejel]
A pero vas a ve
[Eugenio]
Pero qu tal cuentas de argentino?
[Carlitos Espejel]
Claro pero si los argentinos son re-mamones!
[Eugenio]
No te parece que eso es un poquitito racista?
[Carlitos Espejel]
Mierda creo que tiene razn!
[Katy Monster]
[Eugenio]
Oh, Christ do I feel good.
[Carlitos Espejel]
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!
[Eugenio]
Who?
[Carlitos Espejel]
Jesus Christ.
[Katy Monster]
But, Gary, Jesus was white.
[Carlitos Espejel]
No, Jesus was black.
[Katy Monster]
No, Jesus was white.
[Carlitos Espejel]
No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black[Eugenio]
Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!
[Todos]
Ha ha ha ha ha!
[Brian]
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
[Carlitos Espejel]
Racism!
[Brian]
Cool.
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
BRIAN! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!
[Eugenio]
ESCENA 4
[Eugenio]
This time I feel that Im getting closer to my purpose.
[Voz de Video]
si me compro un six!
[Ositos Malositos]
Yuuuppiiii
[Osito Malosito 1]
Oye y si mejor
te lo compras
de caguama?
[Eugenio]
No de ninguna manera
[Osito Malosito 1]
Recuerda que tienes
un presupuesto li-mi-ta-do!
[Osito Malosito 2]
Estas tirando el dinero
a la basura
[Eugenio]
Creo que tienen razn
mejor compro caguamas
[Ositos Malositos]
Yuupiii, nos estamos viendo Eugenio
Los Ositos Malositos salen.
[Eugenio]
Nos vemos chicos! Ahhh no son adorables?
Es bueno saber que mis nuevos amigos
Realmente se preocupan por m.
Eugenio sale.
ESCENA 5
Suena el telfono
[Katy Monster]
Bueno?
Voz en off.
[Maestra Gordillo]
Buenas tardes,
Catalina?
Le habla su jefa.
[Katy Monster]
Si hola
Maestra Gordillo
[Maestra Gordillo]
Como bien lo sabe la prxima semana tengo una cita para hacerme un
transplante de corazn.
Y qu entre nos tengo, voy a aprovechar para que me recorran la
costura de la cintura y me den una restiradita de felpa. Por lo que
necesito que me sustituya la clase de la maana. Tal vez necesite lka
maana complete para recuperarme. Pero seguro estare lista para la
hora de la comida.
[Katy Monster]
Quiere que de la clase yo solita?
[Maestra Gordillo]
Confio en usted Catalina. Adems es libre de escoger el tema.
[Katy Monster]
Gracias Esthelita!
Se oye que la Maestra carraspea y tira una bola de pelos.
[Maestra Gordillo]
Catalina!
[Katy Monster]
Siii?
[Maestra Gordillo]
Cuando se refiere a m por mi nombre de pila
Los maestros no me respetan!
[Katy Monster]
Ayy sii, perdone Maestra Gordillo.
[Maestra Gordillo]
Gracias.
PORNO
[Katy Monster]
Finalmente, mi oportunidad de dar una clase yo solita.
Y voy a escoger un tema importante, de gran relevancia,
Algo moderno, voy a hablar del internet!
[Katy Monster]
EL INTERNET TE SIRVE PA ENCONTRAR
[Trekkie Monster]
PORNO!
[Katy Monster]
CON GRAN VELOCIDAD INVESTIGAR
[Trekkie Monster]
PORNO!
[Katy Monster]
ES PLENA NOVEDAD
Y HORAS TRABAJAR,
[Trekkie Monster]
PORNO!
[Katy Monster]
A UNA GRAN VELOCIDAD SURFEAR
[Trekkie Monster]
PORNO!
[Trekkie Monster]
HAY PORNO EN EL INTERNET!
[Katy Monster]
Trekkie!
[Trekkie Monster]
VER PORNO EN INTERNET!
[Katy Monster]
Qu haces?
[Trekkie Monster]
INVENTAR EL INTERNET
PORNO! PORNO! PORNO!
[Katy Monster]
Trekkie Monster!
Baja inmediatamente
[Trekkie Monster]
Oh Hola Katy Monster
[Katy Monster]
Ests arruinando mi cancin
[Trekkie Monster]
Oh perdn, no mi intencin
[Katy Monster]
Podras callarte un minuto para que yo termine?
[Trekkie Monster]
Sale y vale!
[Katy Monster]
Perfecto!
ME ALEGRA TENER COMUNICACION
[Trekkie Monster]
PORNO Aahhhop!
[Katy Monster]
TECNLOGIA DE GRAN PENETRACION.
[Trekkie Monster]
PORNOAyyy!
[Katy Monster]
DESDE TU MONITOR
[Trekkie Monster]
POR --- mm
[Katy Monster]
BUSCAR, COMPRAR , CHATEAR.
[Trekkie Monster]
mmmpmm!!
[Katy Monster]
HASTA QUE TE HARTAS Y TIENES QUE PARAR.
[Trekkie Monster]
DEL PORNO!!
HAY PORNO EN EL INTERNET!
[Katy Monster]
Trekkie!
[Trekkie Monster]
EL PORNO EN EL INTERNET!
[Katy Monster]
Noooo
[Trekkie Monster]
YO ME QUEDO SIN DORMIR!
PORNO PORNO SIIIIII!
[Katy Monster]
Que asco! Eres un degenerado!
[Trekkie Monster]
Boootellita de Jerez Katy Monsterrrr!
[Katy Monster]
No, en serio eres un degenerado!
La gente normal
no se sienta frente
a su computadora
a ver pornografa
en internet.
[Trekkie Monster]
Ohhhh?
[Katy Monster]
Qu?!
[Trekkie Monster]
Ni te imaginas
Listos gente normal?
[Gente Normal]
Listo--- listo ----listo
[Trekkie Monster]
Arranquense!
[Trekkie Monster y los Chicos]
HAY PORNO EN EL INTERNET!
[Eugenio]
Te tocas!
[Trekkie Monster y los Chicos]
EL PORNO EN INTERNET!
[Eugenio]
Yo me la jalo!
[Trekkie Monster y los Chicos]
DOBLE CLICK Y A ACABAR
PORNO, PORNO, PORNO!
[Katy Monster]
El internet no es pal porno!!
[Trekkie Monster y los Chicos]
PORNO!, PORNO, P--[Katy Monster]
Esperen un minuto!
[Trekkie Monster]
Qu pasa?
[Katy Monster]
Yo s de buena fuente
que tu Rodri
checas tus acciones en lnea
[Rodri]
Correcto!
[Katy Monster]
Y tu Brian compras cosas en Amazon.com
[Brian]
Claro!
[Katy Monster]
Tu Carlitos,
vendiste todo tu vestuario
de estrella infantil en Ebay
[Carlistos Espejel]
Por supuesto!
[Katy Monster]
Y tu Eugenio,
me mandaste una tarjeta
de cumpleaos por face
[Eugenio]
Sip!
[Katy Monster]
hmmm?
[Trekkie Monster]
Pero KatyQu crees que hacen despus? hmm?
[Gente Normal]
He he he he!
[Eugenio]
Siii
[Katy Monster]
Eeewwwww!
[Trekkie Monster y la Gente Normal]
HAY PORNO EN EL INTERENT!
[Katy Monster]
Que asco!
[Trekkie Monster y la Gente Normal]
EL PORNO EN EL INTERENT!
[Katy Monster]
Odio el porno!
[Trekkie Monster y la Gente Normal]
HA JALARMELA AL CHATEAR
PORNO TE DA
[Katy Monster]
Odio el internet!
[Trekkie Monster y la Gente Normal]
Armonizando.
PORNO, PORNO, PORNO!
[Katy Monster]
Odio a los hombres!
[Trekkie Monster y la Gente Normal]
Armonizando.
PORNO, PORN, PORN!
[Katy Monster]
Yo me voy!
[Trekkie Monster y la Gente Normal]
EN EL INTERNET! EN EL INTERNET
[Trekkie Monster]
THE INTERNET IS FOR
[Trekkie Monster y Algunos]
THE INTERNET IS FOR
ESCENA 6
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
Hey Rod! How is hanging?
[Rodri]
Hey Christmas Eve! I got you wedding invitation
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
Are you coming?
[Rodri]
Yeah heres my RSVP.
BRIAN
(off stage) Hey Honey! Whats all this about us getting married?
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
Just think of it as a surprise party
BRIAN
Cool!
[Rodri]
I think its wonderful you have someone so special in your life
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
Are you ok Rod?
ROD
Christmas Eve You are a therapist, right?
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
I have two Master Degrees.
[Rodri]
So you help people who have all kinds of problems
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
Nobody wants to come to me for helping... I meet with people, we are
talking for an hour,
then they go away and never come back. And I wonder why?
Am I fixing them in one appointment?
Maybe Im too efficient, maybe I should spread my helping out.
Why Rod? Do you need some helping?
[Rodri]
Well... I have this friend...
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
Nicky?
[Rodri]
No, other friend. And I think he has a very big problem. I think hes...
gay.
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
Whats wrong with that? You know Rod,
gay people make major contributions to arts,
philosophy and literature for many hundreds of years now...
[Rodri]
Oh but, my friend isnt an artist. He is a Republican.... and an
investment banker.
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
Oh! Tell him to stay in closet then, hes good for nothing.
[Rodri]
Ok... great!... Thanks for the advice...
[Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena]
Yeah! Ha, ha! I wouldnt want a friend like that...
[Rodri]
No! ... Thanks again...
Sale Jacky Kabuky Nochebuena.
[Rodri]
Mierda!
MIXTAPE: UN DISCO
[Katy Monster]
Ahhhh Eugenio ahhh
Le gusto
Creo que le gusto
Ser del mismo modo
que el a mi
ser amistad
o algo ms
tendr algn inters
ay no lo se
Suena el timbre.
Adelante!
[Eugenio]
Hola Katy!
[Katy Monster]
Eugenio! Hola!
[Eugenio]
Hola! Mira, ayer andaba buscando entre mis CDs y
Me encontr con algunas canciones que
pens te gustaran as que
te quem un disco
[Katy Monster]
Wow! Gracias!
Te puedo ofrecer algo de comer
O algo de beber?
[Eugenio]
La verdad mejor Te importa si paso a tu bao?
[Katy Monster]
No, adelante!
UN DISCO, ME HIZO UN DISCO
[Katy Monster]
Si?
[Eugenio]
Mira!
[Katy Monster]
SABOR A MI
[Eugenio]
CONTIGO APRENDI
[Katy Monster]
ELECTRICIDAD
Ayyy me encanta Lucero
[Eugenio]
Ms o menos!
TODA LA VIDA
[Katy Monster]
RBD
[Ambos]
TONTO CORAZON
[Eugenio]
Del concierto de Benny en el Zcalo
[Katy Monster]
Wooow!!! No lo vi!
AMOR PRIMERO
[Eugenio]
NO TENGO DINERO
[Katy Monster]
HISTORIA DE UN AMOR
Qu lindo cd!
[Eugenio]
Pero hay ms!
[Katy Monster]
Si?
[Eugenio]
Mira!
QUIERO DECIR DE MI ENAMORATE
[Katy Monster]
MIRA QUE EEEEE EEEEEEE EEEEEE
La golpea en la cabeza.
Disculpa, me dej ir
muchas gracias por el disco Eugenio
Nadie haba tenido
un detalle as conmigo
[Eugenio]
Que bueno que te gust
Pero ya me tengo que ir
porque le tengo que hacer uno
a Jackie, y a Brian, y a Nicky
Y a Trekkie y a Carlitos y a todos
Oye?
[Katy Monster]
Mmm?
[Eugenio]
Yqu vas a hacer en la noche?
[Katy Monster]
Voy a calificar exmenes
Pero son de knder as que es muy rpido por?
[Eugenio]
Porque los muchachos estaban viendo
si bamos al Bar Noche y Da
y yo estaba pensando que tal vez
te gustara ir conmigo
[Katy Monster]
Me estas invitando
como si fuera una cita?
[Eugenio]
Si,claro como una cita
[Katy Monster]
Me encantara!
[Eugenio]
Qu bueno,
vas a ver que no la vamos a pasar bomba
Puuuuuf!
[Katy Monster]
Mj mj mjj mj!
Estubo bueno!
[Eugenio]
Si, nunca falla
OK, ya me voy
[Katy Monster]
Bye!
[Eugenio]
Bueno, hay nos vemos!
[Katy Monster]
Sii!
[Eugenio]
Bye!
[Katy Monster]
Bye!
Le gusto
ESCENA 7
HOY NO LLEVO ROPA INTERIOR
En el Bar Noche y Da.
[Brian]
Seoras y seores
a continuacin el derroche de ingenio
BRIAN
So heres the woman you all came to see.
The Around the Clock is proud to present fresh from her world tour,
headlining in Amsterdam,
Bangkok, and Celebration Florida please give a warm hand to the star
of Girls Gone Wild parts two,
five and seven Lucy the Slut!
ESPECIAL
[Lucy la Zorra]
SI TAN PINCHE TE SIENTES
PUEDO HACERTE ESPECIAL
PUEDO HACERTE BONITO
UN RATITO O DOS
TU VIDA ABURRIDA RUTINA ES
ACA NO IMPORTA COMO ESTES
NI COMO FUE
INSIGNIFICANTE PARECES SER
PERO CONMIGO ESO ES ALREVES
[Eugenio]
Wow!
[Lucy la Zorra]
Si, son de a deveras!
ESTANDO JUNTOS TU GIRARAS
LA TIERRA SU ORBITA PERDERA
PEGA UN CHILLIDO Y ATREVETE
SI TU NOVIA NO MIRA DE EN PAGOS TE DOY
PUEDO VER CLARAMENTE
QUE SE TE PARO
EL CORAZON!
POR MIIIII
POR MIIIII
POR MI
POR MI
POR MI
POR MI
PUEDO VER CLARAMENTE
QUE SE TE PARO EL CORAZON
POR MIIIII!
[Lucy la Zorra]
Con tono argentine.
Gracias cabacheros! Y estorbos que los acompaan. Espero que sigan
disfrutando sus tragos y les hacha encantado mi nmero.
Ella sale. Trekkie la sigue y Brian lo detiene.
BRIAN
No, Trekkie
TREKKIE
Oh, but Brian...
BRIAN
No....
TREKKIE
Oh... me I can hardly hold! Oh!!! (He leaves).
PRINCETON
That Lucy is something, isnt she?
KATE
She is something...
PRINCETON
Oh, Kate, can I get you a drink?
KATE
Ill get a water. I got a class to teach tomorrow. Its a big day!
The teacher Im assisting is going into the hospital tomorrow morning
so I have the entire class to myself.
And if I do well it could mean a big carreer boost.
(The bad idea bears come in).
BIBS
Hey guys!
BIB
We brought you some Long Island iced tea!
KATE
Oh! You are so adorable! Who are you?
BIB
(Bender!)
BIB
(Brad!)
BIB
Have a drink, Kate.
KATE
Oh... no, thank you.
BIB
Just a little, little sip.
KATE
I really shouldnt.
BIB
But its only a Long Island iced tea.
BIB
Theyre so sweet and delicious.
BIBS
Please!!!
KATE
Oh, one sip cant hurt. Cheers, Princeton!
PRINCETON
Cheers! Heres to you, Kate Monster!
BIBS
Yeah!!
KATE
Thats delicious!
BIB
Porqu no jugamos un juego con bebidas?
[Osito Malosito #2]
Qu Buena idea!
[Osito Malosito #1]
Es la receta perfecta para la diversin.
[Katy Monster]
Ay yo no me s ningn juego. T te sabes alguno Eugenio?
[Eugenio]
A veces la matatena
[Osito Malosito #2]
Yo, yo yo yo yo!
Yo me s uno buensimo, se llama el juego del Hidalgo
Chinge a su madre el que deje algo!
[Ositos Malositos]
Uno, dos, tres!
Katy y Eugenio empiezan a tomarse la bebida mientras los Ositos
Malositos les empujan las cabezas hasta que se las acaban.
[Ositos Malositos]
Fondo, fondo , fondo!
[Katy Monster]
Est fuertsima!
[Eugenio]
Siiiii!
[Ositos Malositos]
Empateeeee!
[Osito Malosito #2]
Va la revancha!
[Ositos Malositos]
Otra ronda, otra ronda!
[Katy Monster]
Okay, pero esta vez yo la invito
[Osito Malosito #2]
Esta vez pdelas dobles.
[Katy Monster]
Oooookeeeyy!!!!
Regreso en un Segundo.
BIB
Ok, Princeton, hows the date going? Ha!
PRINCETON
Pretty well, I think...
BIB
Well, you just hang in there, little man. Youre gonna get something,
you gotta keep working at it.
Just keep your eye on the prize. Ha,ha, ha. Uuhh, wow! Look whos
coming!
(Lucy comes in).
LUCY
Whats up?
PRINCETON
Hi, Im Princeton.
LUCY
Lucy. Man, Im beat! I still havent figured out where Im gonna crash
tonight...
BIB
In a bush!
LUCY
All I need is a warm mattress, you know.
PRINCETON
Well, mines pretty cold usually.
LUCY
It wouldnt be cold for long.
[Katy Monster]
Aaaaaaahhhh!
[Carlitos Espejel]
TU PUEDES CALLAR
Y PUEDES GRITAR
SI HACES EL AMOR!
[Ositos Malositos]
SI HACES EL AMOR EEAAAA!
[Carlitos Espejel]
TU PUEDES CALLAR
Y PORTARTE MAL
SI HACES EL AMOR!
[Ositos Malositos]
SI HACES EL AMOR EEAAAA!
[Carlitos Espejel]
TU PUEDES CALLAR
Y PUEDES GRITAR
SI HACES EL AMOR!
[Ositos Malositos]
SI-HA-CES-EL-AMOR!
[Carlitos Espejel]
TU PUEDES CALLAR
[Ositos Malositos]
Y PUEDES GRITAR YEEAAH!
[Katy y Eugenio]
Aah, aaah, aaah, mmmmh!
[Katy Monster]
Estamos haciendo mucho ruido?
[Eugenio]
Estamos molestando a alguien?
[Carlitos Espejel]
[Todos]
A ACABAR A PORTARSE MAL!
EN UN ACOSTON
HAY QUE PORTARSE MAL
[Katy Monster]
Ms rpido!
[Jacky]
Ms lespacio no son calelas!
[Todos]
HAY QUE PORTARSE MAL...
[Eugenio]
Ay ayayyy, ay ayayyy!
[Brian]
Ayyy tus colmillos!
[Todos]
HAY QUE PORTARSE MAL...
HAY QUE PORTARSE MAL...
[Carlitos Espejel]
Lmbelo, fuerte frtalo, muerdelo!
[Todos]
HAY QUE PORTARSE MAL...
[Jacky]
Eso dale como
[Todos]
HAY QUE PORTARSE...
Kate Monster:
Chpame!
Brian:
Ooh, babe!
Trekkie Monster:
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
All:
HAY QUE
HAY QUE
HAY QUE
HAY QUE
HAY QUE
HAY QUE
HAY QUE
HAY QUE
HAY QUE
MAL!
PORTARSE
PORTARSE
PORTARSE
PORTARSE
PORTARSE
PORTARSE
PORTARSE
PORTARSE
PORTARSE
ESCENA 8
SUEOS REALIDAD
Rodri est despierto en cama, mientras Nicky ronca en su cama.
[Rodri]
It sure can get lonely at night. Nicky, you awake?
[Nicky]
(asleep)
Is that a unicorn?
ROD
Oh, he's talking in his sleep again.
NICKY
No, I'll wear the purple shoes. Who painted the kitten?
ROD
Maybe I should just shake him.
NICKY
I love you, Rod.
ROD
What did you say?
NICKY
[Katy Monster]
PUES HOY
MI AMOR
[Katy Monster]
UHH, BABY!
[Rodri y Katy Monster]
TU SUEO REALIDAD
[Katy Monster]
Y YO
ESTARE
[Rodri]
Y YO
ESTARE
[Katy Monster]
POR TI
LO HARE
ESO ES LO QUE HARE...
[Katy Monster]
HACER TU SUEO REA
ROD
Yes. It was a nice dream.
NICKY
Good night.
ROD
Good night, Nicky.
ESCENA 9
En el departamento de Katy. Ella est en cama con Eugenio. El
telfono suena, Katy contesta. Es la Sra T.
[Katy Monster]
Bueno?...
[Maestra Gordillo]
Buenas tardes Catalina.
No s si recuerde pero
usted iba a dar mi clase esta maana
mientras me hacan
un trasplante de corazn!!!
[Katy Monster]
Chiin!
[Maestra Gordillo]
Dejo a dos nios solos por 3 horas
Crearon su propia sociedad tribal
y estuvieron a punto
de sacrificar a la pobrecita Josefina
Dnde diablos estaba?
[Katy Monster]
Disculpe, me quede dormida
[Maestra Gordillo]
Nunca deb de haber contratado a un monstruo!
KATE
Que?!
[Maestra Gordillo]
Su raza, nia, es floja!
[Katy Monster]
Pues mejor ser monstruo
que una perra amargada
[Maestra Gordillo]
Pues las perras amargadas
somos los cimientos y la fortaleza
de esta nacin.
Me arrepiento
de haberla contratado
[Katy Monster]
Pues no se preocupe
porque yo renuncio
[Maestra Gordillo]
No Catalina.
Esta despedida
[Katy Monster]
No me puede despedir
porque yo renuncie primero
[Maestra Gordillo]
Se va a ir al infierno
[Katy Monster]
Pues ah nos vemos
Cuelga.
Was I too mean?
PRINCETON
Good for you!
KATE
I hate it working for her! I can get by on my savings for a while,
and pursue what I really want in my life.
PRINCETON
Your school!
KATE
Yes.
PRINCETON
I think you are really brave Kate.
KATE
Yeah!
PRINCETON (nods)
Listen... Are you going to Brian and Christmas Eves wedding?
KATE
Of course.
PRINCETON
I was thinking...... we could... you know... go together.
KATE
Oh my gosh! Well it seems like I always go to weddings alone...
I dont know what Id do if I went with a... a...
PRINCETON
...with a boyfriend?
KATE
Yeah...
PRINCETON
Well, come with me...
KATE
Well that would be great! (She starts sobbing).
PRINCETON
Well, are you ok Kate?
KATE
Yeah... Yeah... I just get fur in my eyes sometimes...
Se besan.
ESCENA 10
La boda.
[Rodri]
Did you bring a cap?
NICKY
What?!
ROD
Were off to mass...
NICKY
But...
ROD
Christ!
PRINCETON
Kate, you look beautiful tonight!
KATE
Thank you!
GARY
And by the power invested in me... Gary Coleman, I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
CE
--ALL
Mazeltov!
NICKY
That was beautiful! Wasnt it, Rod?
ROD
Gee, theyre so lucky to have each other!
NICKY
Are you upset, Rod?
ROD
Nicky... I need a moment to myself, ok?
NICKY
No, buddy, talk to me! Tell me whats the matter.
BRIAN
Hey, whats up with Rod?
GARY
Yeah! He sure has been down in the dumps lately.
CE
Hey, Rodney! You need a girlfriend.
GARY
A girlfriend? You got to be kidding, right?
CE
He not so ugly.
GARY
No, but I was thinking Rod was one of those gays.
CE
Rod is gay?
BRIAN
I bet, Nicky would know. Hey, Nicky! Come over here!
NICKY
Sure, guys, whats up?
CE
We wondering if Rod is a gay.
NICKY
Well, its funny you should ask because I do think Rod is gay.
I always have. But, you know, I figured if he wanted to tell me, he
would.
So, yes, definitely, I would say that my buddy Rod is a closeted
homosexual.
ROD
Nicky! How could you say that about me?
NICKY
Oh, hi, Rod! All I said was that, yes, definitely, my buddy Rod has an
undescended testicle.
ROD
Aaahhh!! Nooo!!!! I heard you!
NICKY
I... Im sorry, Rod.
ROD
Mmm... mmm... mmm... Well I am not a closeted homowhatever.
Well, Ive a whole life that none of youd know about. Not even you,
Nicky.
NICKY
You do, Rod?
ROD
Sure I do. For example... I...
Purpose!
CE
I throw bouquet in few minutes, Kate Monster, I have a younger
husband for you...
KATE
Oh, Christmas Eve!
CE
I might throw bouquet to you on purpose.
PRINCETON
Purpose!
KATE
Oh, Princeton, I have so much fun with you!
PRINCETON
Yeah, me too.
KATE
Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?
PRINCETON
Gosh, it feels like Im forgetting something?
KATE
Oh, shes throwing the bouquet! Ill be right back! (She leaves)
PRINCETON
Purpose! Purpose!(Princetons nightmare about marriage). (Kate
comes back).
KATE
I caught the bouquet, Princeton! Well, some little girl caught it, but
she wasnt very strong!
PRINCETON
Yeah...
KATE
Are you alright?
PRINCETON
NO PUEDO YA PERDER
NI UN MINUTO MS
NI SIQUIERA SABES
QUE PRETENDES ENCONTRAR
POR MI SALUD MENTAL
LA PUERTA HE DE CERRAR
Y OLVIDAR JALAR
DURO ES TRANSITAR
ENTRE ESTAR JUNTOS
Y NO ESTAR
TENER QUE ENFRENTAR
Y RESIGNARSE A LA VERDAD
TIENES QUE PERSEGUIR
TU IDEAL SI ENAMORADO ESTAS
QUE GRAN FRUSTACION
DE QUIEN AMO
Y SU TIEMPO PERDIO.
Se cierra el teln. Fin del Primer Acto.
SEGUNDO ACTO
ESCENA 1
[Eugenio]
Purpose! Puuuuurpose!
BIB
...Less
PRINCETON
Who said that? Purpose!
BIB
Less!
BIB
Purposeless!
PRINCETON
Purpose!
BIBS
Purpose.... less
PRINCETON
Ok, whos doing that?
BIB
Hi, Princeton! You have to come around!
BIB
Yeah... You look so blue!
BIB
Try a little smile!
BIB
I want to see a little smile!
BIB
Oh, come on, Princeton!
PRINCETON
Sorry, guys, its not gonna work.
BIB
Just do it as a friend
BIB
Yeah, just do it or well be sad!
PRINCETON
Its not working
BIB
Well, you can always hang yourself!
BIB
(Looks for a rope backstage) Yeah! We found this rope.
PRINCETON
Im not going to hang myself!
BIBS
Oohh!
PRINCETON
Can you just go away?
BIB
Well, hes not in a good day. Well, well leave the rope. Just in case.
Salen.
Entra Brian.
ESCENA 2
[Eugenio]
Oh, hi, Kate Monster!
[Katy Monster]
Good evening.
PRINCETON
Hi... I havent seen you around...
KATE
Mm... ha!
LUCY
Youre gonna show me upstairs?
PRINCETON
Yeah, one second, ok, Lucy?
LUCY
Sure, baby! Dont let my motor idle too long!(She leaves)
KATE
She a friend of yours?
PRINCETON
Yeah...
KATE
Is her name Purpose?
PRINCETON
Aah... listen, Kate... I gotta go.
KATE
Have fun!
(Princeton leaves. Christmas Eve comes in)
CE
Whats the matter, Kate monster?
KATE
I hate Princeton. Hes with that Lucy!
CE
Oh, that evil girl? Shes skanky. But that dont make Princeton bad
person, Kate monster.
KATE
I dont know anymore.
CE
But you still feeling for him, dont you?
KATE
I do feeling for him.
CE
Sometimes person need time for learning.
People always learning, all through their lives. Look at mama bird.
She push baby out of nest and thats it. If baby bird fly, good for baby!
If baby bird fall and cracks head on ground and gets eaten
by a cat then he need to do better next time.
ESCENA 3
[Katy Monster]
Oh! Its you!
[Lucy]
Are you the cleaning lady?
KATE
I will not rise to your bait. Where is Princeton?
LUCY
He is... finishing up in the shower. You need somethin ?
KATE
I want to leave him this note. Thats all.
LUCY
Ha! Oh, that kid can be busy all night... Hey girl!
Do you mind checking up to see if there are any scratch marks on my
back?
KATE
Oh! Yes! I see them. It looks like they say, help me!
Se va.
[Lucy]
A Eugenio fuera de escena.
Hey kid, almost done in there?
PRINCETON
Yeah... Im drying up.
LUCY
He doesnt need to be messing with some monster!
Rompe la carta.
ESCENA 4
SCHADENFREUDE
GARY COLEMAN:
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy
NICKY:
I'll say.
GARY COLEMAN:
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me...
Happy!
NICKY:
Happy?!
GARY COLEMAN:
Sorry, Nicky, human natureNothing I can do!
It's...
Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.
NICKY:
Well that's not very nice, Gary!
GARY COLEMAN:
I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!
D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?
NICKY:
Yeah...
GARY COLEMAN:
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?
NICKY:
Sure!
GARY COLEMAN:
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,
Watching people out in the rain!
NICKY:
You bet!
GARY COLEMAN:
That's...
NICKY:
Football players getting tackled!
GARY COLEMAN:
CEOs getting shackled!
NICKY:
Watching actors never reach
GARY AND NICKY:
The ending of their oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
GARY COLEMAN:
The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around
by fate.
'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us, and that makes
them feel great.
NICKY:
Sure!
We provide a vital service to society!
GARY AND NICKY:
You and me!
Schadenfreude!
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
To be!
GARY COLEMAN:
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!
ESCENA 5
Desde la cima del Empire State.
[Katy Monster]
All those people look like ants down there
and their parts look about as tiny as the ones inside the men I dated.
special.
Youre not special. Youre not luckier or more gifted than anyone else.
PRINCETON
You dont think so.
LUCY
No!
PRINCETON
Well, Im gonna run past by this place, Ill think about what you said
just now.
LUCY
Whats so special about this place?
PRINCETON
Oh, you mean, here, on 34tth an 5th, at the entrance of the Empire
State building?
El penny cae justo en la cabeza de Lucy. Cae al suelo inconsciente.
PRINCETON
Lucy?
ESCENA 6
En el hospital.
[Eugenio]
Lucy, can you hear me?
KATE
Princeton, I... I heard your friend had an accident. How is she?
PRINCETON
Her head fell off in the ambulance. And the doctors spent the night
sewing it back on.
But the prognosis is good.
KATE
What happened to her?
PRINCETON
ESCENA 7
[Nicky]
Help the homeless! Help the homeless! Oh, hi, Rod!
ROD
Is that the wind I hear wrestling through the branches?
NICKY
Listen, Rod, for now on Ill believe anything you say about yourself.
And I apologize for being such a messy roommate.
And now that I have a place on my own, right that dumpster over
there,
I appreciate how hard it is to keep things nice! Well...?
(Christmas Eve comes in)
Ok Rod, buddy, I see you around.
CE
Rod. Are you Ok?
ROD
Christmas Eve... Can I get soft with you briefly? (He lies on CEs lap).
CE
ESCENA 8
Katy est en el rea del observatorio del edificio Empire State.
PRINCETON:
I wish I could go back to college!
ALL:
How do I go back to college?!
AHHHH...
PRINCETON:
I wish I had taken more pictures.
NICKY:
But if I were to go back to college,
Think what a loser I'd beI'd walk through the quad,
And think "Oh my God..."
ALL:
"These kids are so much younger than me."
ESCENA 9
[Nicky]
Ayuda al desamparado!
Ayuda al desamparado
Hey Eugenio
[Eugenio]
Ohh hola..
[Nicky]
Uuy te vez fatal!
[Eugenio]
Mmm he tenido mejores das.
[Nicky]
Yo tambin estoy como para la basura.
Es ms vivo en la basura!
Eit podras hacer algo por mi?
[Eugenio]
Como qu?
[Nicky]
Dame un pesito!
[Eugenio]
Ohh Nicky.. ahorita no.
[Nicky]
Hay ndale que mueres de ganas!
Dame un pesito!
[Eugenio]
En verdad Nicky, necesito estar solo.
[Nicky]
Sabes qu?
Deberas de dejar de pensar en ti
y empezar a ayudar a los dems
Como a m por ejemplo!
Dame un pesito!
DAME UN PESITO
[Nicky]
QUE MAS TE DA
VERAS QUE BONITO
TENER CARIDAD
DAR AYUDA
NOS ACERCA MAS A DIOS!
DAME UN PESITO
Princeton:
Mmm.. No tengo cambio.
Nicky:
Hmmm....okay.
DAME UN BILLETE
EMITETE UN CHEQUE
ENTRE MAS DAS
RECIBES MAS
Y VIVO ESTAS
TODO LO QUE SIEMPRE
SI SIGUES EL EJEMPLO DE JESUS
EL TE LO DABA
[Nicky]
Es para un sndwich!
[Eugenio]
VAMOS NICKY
TE HARA SENTIR BIEN.
[Nicky]
Lo mismo el sndwich!
[Eugenio]
VOY CON ETRAGON
SU SUEO SE VUELVE REALIDAD
ASI QUE DAME DINERO.
[Nicky]
Me gustara hacerlo pero no puedo
[Eugenio]
DAME DINERO.
[Nicky]
Me encantara pero no tengo
[Eugenio]
DIJE QUE DAME DINERO!
[Nicky]
Aaay es que no puedo, soy pobre, no tengo aaay!
Eugenio le da una bofetada a Nicky.
[Nicky]
Okay, ahi te va.
Cambia el sentir de Nicky.
[Nicky]
AHHH
DE REPENTE HOY ME SIENTO
MAS CERCA DE DIOS
YA NO HAY QUE PEDIR MAS
ES TIEMPO DE DAR
QUE LE PUEDO A RODRI DAR?
Somos ricos!
[Eugenio]
Y no les gustara donar para una noble causa?
Christmas Eve:
Tipo?
[Eugenio]
Estamos ayudando a Katy
a construir su escuela
para monstruos.
Christmas Eve:
escuela pala monstuos?
[Brian]
Suena como un buen pretexto eehh!
[Eugenio]
Y lo es!
Christmas Eve:
Caltela!
Le da algo de dinero a Carlitos.
[Carlitos Espejel]
$15 pesos?
[Nicky]
$15 pesos?
[Eugenio]
Queee$15 pesos?
Christmas Eve:
Todo cuenta.
[Nicky]
Se me hace que le vamos
A pedir a ms gente!
Voltean hacia el pblico y pasan el sombrero.
All:
Hey!
DENOS DINERO!
TODO EL QUE TRAE!
NO SEA TACAO...
[Carlitos Espejel]
Amagando a Eugenio.
O EL LO SUFRIRA!
[Eugenio]
Hey!
[Todos]
ES HORA DE AFLOJAR
[Carlitos Espejel]
QUE NO HAY NADA
QUE LE IMPIDA
[Todos]
DAME DINERO
DENNOS DINERO
DAME DINERO
CUANDO DAS TODO
TE SIENTES MUCHO MEJOR
CUANDO DAS TODO
TE SIENTES MUCHO MEJOR
AYUDAR DISFRUTARAS
Y A TI TE AYUDARAS
CUANDO DAS TODO
TE SIENTES MUCHO MEJOR
Eugenio cuenta el dinero.
IR A TERAPIA
TRATAR DE SUPERAR
TERAPIA NO NECESITAR
Y ESCUELA SER UNA REALIDAD
jajajajja Oki Dokkie!
mmm mi dar
10 millones de dlares
Princeton:
Trekkie! where did you get all that money??
Trekkie Monster:
In volatile market, only stable investment is porn!
All:
When you help others,
You cant help helping yourself!
When you help others,
You cant help helping yourself!
Every time you
Do good deeds
Youre also serving
Your own needs.
When you help others,
You cant
Help
Helping yourself!
CE
Its your school Kate!
BRIAN
And heres a check with enough money to run it, and buy the
building...
CE
And you can hire teachers,
and cafeteria delis and make a real looking school for monsters! We all
raise the money!
KATE
You mean... all that money... for me?
BRIAN
Most of it came form a donor who wishes to remain anonymous.
GARY
Well... lets just say I joined in too...
KATE
Well... I dont know what to say!
BRIAN
Just say thanks!
KATE
Thank you! Thank you everybody! The entire monster community
thanks all of you!
BRIAN
Listen! Now that everybodys all gathered here, Christmas Eve and I
have an announcement!
CE
We getting divorce
ALL
What!
CE
I Only kidding! But... we leaving Avenue Q...
KATE
What?
CE
We married now... and try to move on... so we move to nicer
neighbourhood... to lower east side!
KATE
But you cant leave!
BRIAN
Oh! Come on guys! Well still keep in touch! Oh! And theres another
reason...
Im starting a new career!
ALL
Yeah!!
BRIAN
Im a consultant!
(silence)
CE
I not know what that is... but I so proud of him! And I have good news
too!
I finally get a regular client! I a paid therapist!
NICKY
Oh! Who is your client?
CE
Oh! I not allowed to say, but I see him seven times a week at 1.25 an
hour... he need a lot of help...
Me work through his issues, and he become this integrated person!
KATE
I bet I know who he is!
CE
He much better!
NICKY
Who!? You mean Rod!?
CE
I not aRod to say.
BRIAN
Say... where is he anyway? Get him out here!
(A gunshot is heard)
ALL
Ohhh!
CE
Oh! Damn it!!!
(Rod comes out with a bottle of Champaign)
ROD
Yoohoo!! Champaign for everybody! Ive got some news!
CE
Oh Rod! You OK...
ROD
You are Ok too. Haaaaaa... Oh everyone!
I have confronted my fears at last, so I have a few things Id like to
say.
Number one: I apologize for being so ... it was all
because... well... this is number two: hold you applause everybody...
because
I Rod... am GAY! (silence)Ok. And three: Nicky... Oh Nicky.... Im so
sorry... youre my best
friend...Ive missed you so much... Will you move back in with me?
NICKY
Oh!!! Well!! Id be too happy Rod!!
ROD
All right!!
NICKY
Yeahh!! (They hug) Hey Rod! Guess what I did!
Ive put a persona add all over the Internet with your picture on it!
ROD
You did what?!
NICKY
And... Ive found someone veeery special!! Wait here...
ROD
Whaaaaat!!! Hoooo!! Hooo!! Hoooo!!
NICKY
Rod! Id like you to meet Ricky!
RICKY
Hi! Rodney, its nice to meet you.
NICKY
Princeton:
You said you couldnt make your dreams come
True by yourself, so I shot for the stars.
YOUVE GOTTA GO AFTER THE THINGS YOU WANT
WHILE YOURE STILL IN YOUR PRIME.
Kate Monster:
Theres a fine, fine line
Between love...
Thank you Princeton.
Princeton:
So will you take me back, Kate?
Kate Monster:
Ill be so busy now, with all of the contractors
And inspections and hiring teachers and choosing textbooks...
Princeton:
Well, I could help you.
Kate Monster:
Can we take it one day at a time?
Carlitos cuelga el anuncio de Se Renta. Un joven ttere de apariencia
optimista aparece.
Gary Coleman:
I am the super.
Newcomer:
Well, listen - I wanna ask you about the apartment for rent?
Gary Coleman:
Oh, sure!
Princeton:
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute, thats it!
Kate Monster:
What?
[Eugenio]
My PURPOSE!
Viendo as a este norteito
todo inocente e ingenuo
cree que le ha pasado todo
pero, para nada!
Lo peor est por venir,
tal vez necesita ayuda
tal vez mi meta en la vida
es utilizar todos mis conocimientos
y aprendizajes y ponerlos
en un MUSICAL!
[Brian]
Ests Pacheco?
[Recien llegado]
Ha huevo!
y para tu informacin
yo no soy ningn morrito pendejo
As que vas y chingas a tu madre!
Pinche enano mamn!
POR HOY
[Eugenio]
Por qu todo tiene que ser tan difcil?
[Carlitos Espejel]
Tal vez, nunca encuentres tu propsito.
[Jacky]
Hay mucha gente que nunca lo hace.
[Eugenio]
Entonces ni siquiera se para que estoy vivo!
[Katy Monster]
Y quin lo sabe?
ALGO INSATISFECHOS
VIVIMOS QUE MAL!
[Brian]
TODO EL MUNDO TIENE
UN VACIO ESPIRITUAL
[Carlitos Espejel]
NO HAY QUE HABLAR,
OBSERVAR,
[Brian]
SOLO HUMILDAD,
[Katy Monster]
POR HOY...
[Brian, Katy, Carlitos, Jacky]
POR HOY...
[Nicky]
NADA DURA,
[Rodri]
LA VIDA ES DURA,
[Nicky]
POR MAS QUE MADRUGAS.
[Rodri]
ENFRENTAR PROBLEMAS
CON MUCHA BRAVURA
[Jacky]
UN SACLIFICIO HACEL
Y ACTUAL CON COLDULA
POL HOY
[Trekkie Monster]
POR HOY...
[Todos]
SOLO POR
SOLO POR
SOLO POR
SOLO POR
[Lucy]
Chicos, Chicos,
sal corriendo de mi clase de Biblia
para alcanzarlos en el gran final
[Katy Monster]
Lucy Eres t?
[Lucy]
Soy la nueva yo,
Fui salvada por nuestro Seor
y hasta me devolvi la virginidad
Chicos, soy virgen de nuevo!
[Ositos Malositos]
Nosotros tambin
nos hemos regenerado
Nos dieron de alta
en Ocenica!
Yupiiiii!!!!
[Lucy]
MUY SALUDABLES
[Brian]
CON CHAMBA POR HOY
[Ositos Malositos]
POR HOY FELICES,
[Katy Monster]
SIN EXAGERAR,
[Eugenio]
Y ACEPTAR LO QUE NO PUEDO CAMBIAR
POR HOY
[Carlitos Espejel]
POR HOY
[Trekkie Monster]
POR HOY
[Katy Monster]
POR HOY
[Todos]
SOLO POR
SOLO POR
SOLO POR
SOLO POR
(EL PAN!)
SOLO POR HOY!
NO HAY MAS
REGLAS
DEJANDOLO ATRAS
INEVITABLE ES MORIR
PAGAR IMPUESTOS
Y CUMPLIR
[Todos]
TAN SOLO POR
HOOOOOY
SOLO POR
HOOOOOY
[Katy Monster]
HASTA QUE EL CUERPO SE ESTIRE
SOLO POR
HOOOOOY
SOLO POR
HOOOOOY
LO DURA
[Todos]
BA-DUM BA-DUM,
BA-DUM BA-DUM
BA DUM BA-DUM
BA-DA DA DA DA
BA-DA DA-DA DA DA-DA
BA-DUM BA-DA, BA-DUM
BA-DA, OOOOOH[Eugenio]
ESTA VIDA ES
TAN SOLO POR HOY!
Cae el teln. Fin del Segundo Acto.
Fin de la Obra.