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INDICE

Informacin general 3
Objetos 3
Crditos 3
SCIENCE FICTION / DOUBLE FEATURE 4
DAMMIT JANET 6
OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE 9
THE TIME WARP 10
SWEET TRANSVESTITE 13
THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES 17
I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (part I) 18
HOT PATTOTIE (BLESS MY SOUL) 19
I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (par II) 20
TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME 23
EDDIE 27
PLANET, SCHMANET JANET 29
ROSE TINT MY WORLD 31
A. FLOOR SHOW 31
B. FANFARE / DON T DREAM IT 32
C. WILD AND UNTAMED THING 32
I M GOING HOME 33
SUPER HEROES 35
SCIENCE FICTION / DOUBLE FEATURE REPRISE 36
3

Informacin general:
Las instrucciones del pblico estn en negrita. El texto que hay que gritar est tambin entre
comillas. La instruccin (eco) indica que la lnea que sigue hay que gritarla con los actores.
Cada vez que Brad aparezca y, especialmente, cuando se presente, se recomienda gritar
Gilipollas! . Ms discretamente, Zorra! es el apelativo adecuado para Janet. Cuando
aparezca el Narrador (o Profesor), se puede elegir entre Dnde est tu jodido cuello? o Me
abuuuuuuuurroooooo! . Al Dr. Scott simplemente se le abuchea.
Nota: Las frases han sido sacadas (lease traducidas ) del libro de Michael Hess y Sal Piro, y
del guin de participacin del Cine-Teatre de l Eixample de Barcelona, utilizado por el RHPS
Oficial Spain Fan Club.
Objetos:
Arroz
Ramo de flores (opc.)
Peridico
Pistola de agua
Globo
Linterna
Guantes de cocina (opc.)
Matasuegras y/o carraca
Confetti
Papel higinico
Gorrito de fiesta
Campanilla
Naipes
Crditos:
Mnica Arvalo
Ivn Castro
Jos Luis Gonzlez
Toni Lou
Miguel ngel Parra
Edgar Torn
Mara Vivancos
4

Antes de empezar la pelcula Un, dos, tres, que empiece la jodida pelcula! Cuatro,
cinco, seis, olvidad la pelcula, y que empiece la jodienda!

SCIENCE FICTION / DOUBLE FEATURE

Al empezar los primeros acordes, Hace mucho mucho tiempo, en una galaxia muy muy
lejana, Dios dijo Que se hagan los labios, y as fue. Y Dios vio que era bueno. Y los
labios cantaron

Labios: Michael Rennie was ill
The Day the Earth Stood still
But he told us where we stand. "En la Tierra!"
And Flash Gordon was there
In silver underwear, Eran dorados!

Claude Rains was the Invisible Man. Quin es Claude Raines?

Then something went wrong
For Fay Wray and King Kong;
They got caught in a celluloid jam. "Yay jam!"
Then at a deadly pace
It Came From... "De dnde? Outer Space. "Gracias!

And this is how the message ran:
Conglate!"

Coro: Science fiction, double feature
Doctor X will build a creature.
See androids fighting
Brad and Janet
Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
At the late night Rocky Rocky! , double feature Rocky Horror ! , picture
show.
Cuando salgan los nombres de:
Tim Curry (Dr Frank-N-Furter): To bueno!

Susan Sarandon (Janet Weiss): Zorra!

Barry Bostwick (Brad Majors): Gilipollas!

Richard O Brien (Riff Raff): Drogadicto!

Magenta: La hermana del drogadicto!

Columbia: De dnde te traen la coca?

Dr Scott: Abucheos
Peter Hinwood (Rocky Horror): Uh uh uh!

Meat Loaf (Eddie): La cena!

Charles Gray (The Criminologist): Dnde est tu jodido cuello?"
Labios: I knew Leo G. Carrol
Was over a barrel
When Tarantula took to the hills. "Chpate el labio!"
And I really got hot
When I saw Jeanette Scott
Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills. Y qu coo es un trfido?

Dana Andrews said Prunes
Gave him the runes
And passing them used lots of skills.
But When Worlds Collide, Hacer explotar el globo, dar una plamada o gritar
Boom!

Said George Powell to his bride,
5

"I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills,"
Like a...
Coro: Science fiction, double feature
Doctor X will build a creature.
See androids fighting Follando, tirndose a !

Brad and Janet
Anne Francis stars in "Garganta Profunda y

Forbidden Planet
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
At the late night Rocky Rocky! , double feature Rocky Horror ! , picture
show.

I wanna go Y yo tambin!

Oh Oh Oh
To the late night Rocky Rocky! , double feature Rocky Horror ! , picture
show.
To the late night Rocky Rocky! , double feature Rocky Horror ! , picture
show.
By RKO, "R-K-Quin?"
Oh Oh Oh
To the late night Rocky Rocky! , double feature Rocky Horror ! , picture
show.
"Dnde se folla mejor?
In the back row, Que le den po l culo a la fila de atrs!

Oh Oh Oh
To the late night Rocky Rocky! , double feature Rocky Horror ! , picture
show.
Cuando aparezca la iglesia en pantalla: mover las manos para hacer que la cmara vaya
bajando.
Dentoniano: Here they come! (los dentonianos vitorean y lanzan arroz) Tirar arroz

Fotgrafo: Let's get a picture. Close together now. The parents and then the grandparents.
Just of the close family. Ahhh, hold that. Beautiful. And... (snap)

Ralph: I guess we really did it, huh. "Dale un golpe! Devulveselo!

Lucha de
gilipollas!


Brad: I don't think there's any doubt about that. You and Betty have been almost
inseparable since you met in Dr. Scott's refresher courses.

Ralph: Well to tell you the truth, Brad, that's the only reason I showed up in the first place.

Betty: O.K. you guys, this is it.

Ralph: Well Betty's going to throw the bouquet. Tirar ramo

Janet: "Hey, Janet, tienes sfilis?" I got it! I got it!

Ralph: Hey big fella, looks like it could be your turn next, eh?

Brad: Who knows.

Ralph: Well, so long, see you Brad. "Hasta la vista, gilipollas!
Guess we better get going now, Betty.
Come on, hop in. (se van en el coche)
"Pinsalo, gilipollas, este dedo huele a Janet!

Dale dos golpes al coche si eres un gilipollas!

6

Cuando el coche arranca y todos corren detrs: No os olvidis de los abuelos!

Cuando la pareja de ancianos corre tras el coche: Mierda, se nos ha vuelto a escapar el
autobs!

Janet: Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful? "No"
Didn't Betty look radiantly beautiful? "No"
I can't believe it. An hour ago she was just plain old Betty Monroe, and now... "Y
ahora es una zorra!

now she's Mrs. Ralph Hapshatt. Hapshit!


Brad: Yes Janet, Ralph is a lucky guy. "No, Betty tambin tiene sfilis!


Janet: Yes.

Dentoniano: I always cry at weddings. "Y yo en los funerales!

Como yo, cario!

Ensanos la estatua de un angelito masturbndose!

Brad: Everyone knows that Betty is a wonderful little cook. "Es la patata ms caliente
de Denton! S, Denton, el hogar de la felicidad!

Janet: Yes.
Brad: Why Ralph himself, he'll be up for a promotion in a year or two.
Janet: Yes.
DAMMIT JANET
Porqu la felicidad apunta al sombrero de Janet?

Brad: Hey Janet. "Sintate en mi cara y muvete!

Janet: Yes Brad?
Brad: I've got something to say.

Janet: Uh huh.
Brad: "Dilo, gilipollas!

I really love the... Empieza por S ! skillful way Qu
jodido genio! ... you beat the other girls... Con un bate de baseball! to the
bride bouquet Y con eso tambin!

Janet: Cmete el ramo, zorra!

Oh Brad.
Brad: The river was deep but I swam it. Janet

The future is ours so let's plan it. Janet

So please, don't tell me to can it. Janet

I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love you.
The road was long but I ran it. Que alguien rebobine la pelcula!

There's a fire in my heart and you fan it. Janet

If there's one fool for you then I am it. Janet

Mata al gato!

I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love you.
Dibuja el culo de Janet en la puerta!

Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker. No! T eres la reina!

7

There's three ways that love can woo.
That's good, bad, or mediocre. "Gay, hetero y mediocre!"
"Que no se te caiga!"
Deletrea zorra !"
Oh, J-A-N-E-T I love you so.
Janet: "Cmo es tu orgasmo?"
Oh, it's nicer than Betty Monroe had. Oh Brad

Now we're engaged and I'm so glad Oh Brad

That you met Mom and you know Dad. Oh Brad

I've one thing to say and that's Brad, I'm mad, for you too.
Oh Brad...
Brad: Oh... dammit. (eco) "Oh...mierda!"
Janet: I'm mad...
Brad: Oh, Janet. (eco) "Oh...mierda!"
Janet: For you.
Brad: I love you too.
Brad y Janet:There's one thing left to do - ah - oo. "Echar un polvo!"
Brad: And that's go see the man who began it. Janet

Est en la caja!

When we met in his science exam - it Janet

Sigue en la caja!

Made me give you the eye and then panic. Janet

Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet, I love you.
Dammit, Janet.
Janet: Oh Brad, I'm mad.
Brad: Dammit, Janet.
Brad y Janet: I love you.
"El hombre que vais a ver a continuacin no tiene cuello! Dnde est tu jodido
cuello?

"Est en el otro jodido traje!"
Narrador: I would like Qu?

if I may, Te lo permitimos! ... to take you Dnde? on a
strange journey. (El Profesor saca un libro) Fue tan extrao que hicieron una
pelcula! No un libro, una pelcula!

Tres pginas para el gilipollas!... Dos
pginas para el giliplllas! Una pgina para el gilipollas! It seemed a fairly
ordinary night when Brad Majors Gilipollas! and his fiancee Janet Weiss
Zorra! , two young, normal, "Es la gran cabeza parlante!" healthy kids
Saludables? , left Denton that late November evening, to visit a Dr. Everett
Scott Abucheos, ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them. Es verdad que eres
gay? It's true there were dark storm clouds... Describe tus pelotas! heavy,
black, and pendulous, towards which they were driving. Es verdad que eres
gilipollas? It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need
of some air Como tu cuello! , but, uh, they being normal kids, Normales? on
a night out... well, they weren't going to let a storm spoil the rest of their evening,
were they? Por supuesto que no! ...On a night out... Acrcate un poquito!

it was a night out they were going to remember... Por cunto tiempo? for a
very long time. Pumares! Pumares! Pumares!

"Na-na na-na na-na na-na Batmaaaaan!"
8

Cuando el limpia-parabrisas se vaya moviendo: "Gilipollas! Zorra! Gilipollas! Zorra!..."
Nixon: I have never been a quitter... To leave office before my term is completed is
abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as President I must put the interests of
America first. America needs a full time president... And a full time Congress...
Janet: Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passed us. No, es el primero! Las
zorras no saben contra! They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with
the weather and all.

Brad: Di algo, gilipollas!

Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type. Como Janet!


Janet: Oh. What's the matter, Brad darling?
Brad: Haz el ruido de una vaca!

Mmm. We must have taken the wrong fork a few
miles back. Gilipollas!


Janet: Oh, but where did that motorcyclist come from? Tararea la msica de Twilight
Zone
Brad: Hmmm... Well I guess we'll just have to turn back. Cuidado con el cmara!

(BOOM)

Janet: Oh! What was that bang? Una gang-bang!


Brad: We must have a blowout. DAMMIT! I knew I should have gotten that spare tire
fixed. Gilipollas! Well, you just stay here and keep warm and I'll go for help.
Janet: But where will you go? We're in the middle of nowhere...

Brad: Recuerda el castillo, gilipollas!

Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles? Aplausos y vtores
varios Maybe they have a telephone we could use. En los castillos no hay
telfono, gilipollas!

Janet: I'm going with you.

Brad: Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting wet. Janet ya est
mojada!


Janet: I'm coming with you! Besides darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful
woman, Lo es! and you might never come back again. No tendrs tanta
suerte!

Brad: Heh, heh, heh, heh.

Cuando salgan del coche: Usar las pistolas de agua y cubrirse la cabeza con un papel de
peridico.
Dale una patada!

Usar las pistolas de agua y cubrirse la cabeza con un papel de peridico.
Zorras a la izquierda! Zorras a la derecha!

Cuando salga el cartel: Arriesgaos, que si no nos quedamos sin pelcula!

Podras haberte comprado un paraguas, zorra tacaa!

9

OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE
Antes de que Janet se agache: Cuidado con el rbol come-zorras!

Janet: Canta, zorra!

In the velvet darkness,
Of the blackest night,
Burning bright, there's a guiding star.
Date la vuelta, zorra, no puedo leer la seccin de deportes!

No matter what or who you are.

Brad y Janet: There's a light... Encender las linternas cuando digan light


Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.

Brad y Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Dnde est Pap Noel?

Burning in the fireplace...

Brad y Janet: There's a light, a light in the darkness of everybody's life. Apagar las linternas
cuando digan darkness . Se puede gritar Darkness! si la gente no las
apaga.

Riff Raff: Cntate una coplilla, Riff!

The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming.
Primer plano!

Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
Dnde?

Into my life. Into my life...
Es el increble jorobado menguante!


Brad y Janet: There's a light... Encender las linternas otra vez

Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.

Brad y Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Dnde est la discografa de Raphael?

Burning in the fireplace.
There's a light, a light

Brad y Janet:... in the darkness of everybody's life. Apagar las linternas en darkness . Se
puede gritar Darkness! si la gente no las apaga.
Narrador: And so, and so, and so, !

And so, it seemed that fortune had smiled on Brad and Janet and that they had
found the assistance that their plight required

Ests seguro?

Or had they?
Nya ha ha!

Es Scooby-Doo despus de fumarse un porro!

Janet: Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and frightened...

Brad: Just a moment Janet, they might have a phone.
Cuando llaman al timbre: Ding-dong, el gilipollas llama a su puerta!

10

Cuando Riff Raff abre la puerta: Bienvenidos a Jurassic Park!

Riff Raff: Di hola, Riff!

Hello.

Brad: Hi! My name is Brad Majors, Gilipollas!

and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss.
Zorra!

I wonder if you could help us. You see, our car broke down a few miles
up the road... do you have a phone we might use?
Riff Raff: Mira entre las piernas de Janet!

You're wet.
Janet: Eh Janet! Eres una zorra?

Yes.
It's raining.

Bard: Eh Brad! Eres un gilipollas?

Yes.
Riff Raff: Te drogas, Riff?

Yes... I think perhaps you better both come inside.
Dios, eres gay?

(Relmpago)
Despus de que se cierre la puerta: Eh Brad, cmo vuelan los gilipollas?

Al aparecer la escalera: Quien encuentre a la criada se lleva un gallifante!

No puedo,
se ha puesto una zorra en medio!

Janet: You're too kind. Oh Brad, I'm frightened. What kind of a place is this?
Brad: Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos. Como <nombre de
algn millonario rarito autctono>!

Janet: Oh.
Riff Raff: This way. Sigan al jorobado menguante y su dedo saltarn!


Janet: Are you having a party? No! Es la discoteca de mi hermana!


Riff Raff: You've arrived on a very special night. It's one of the master's affairs. Cul de
ellos?


Janet: Oh lucky him.

Magenta: Eh Magenta, conjganos algo!

You're lucky, He's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! (eco) La baranda es
afortunada!

Ha ha ha ha ha!
Eh Riff, ensanos a <nombre de algn famoso muerto>!

THE TIME WARP

Riff Raff: Cmo es tu rabo?

It's astounding;
Time is fleeting;
Cul es tu grupo de msica favorito?

Madness takes its toll.
11

But listen closely...

Magenta: Por cunto tiempo?

Not for very much longer.
Riff Raff: Cuntas pelotas tienes?

I've got to Yo tengo tres! keep control.
I remember doing the time-warp Uno! Dos!

Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me

Riff y Magenta: And a void would be calling...

Transilvanos: Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Cmo se baila?

stas son las instrucciones a seguir:
Narrador: It's just a jump to the left.

Todos: And then a step to the right.

Narrador: With your hands on your hips.
Todos: You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust "Ooh-ah-ooh-ah!" o "Sexo en grupo! Sexo en grupo!"
That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Magenta: It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me.
So you can't see me, T puedes? no, not at all.
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention,
Well secluded, I see all.

Riff Raff: With a bit of a mind flip
Magenta: You're into the time slip. Hazle una paja al pajarito!


Riff Raff: And nothing can ever be the same.

Magenta: You're spaced out on sensation.

Riff Raff: Like you're under sedation.

Todos: Let's do the time-warp again. Abajo! Arriba! Abajo! Arriba!

Let's do the time-warp again. Adelanta! Atrs! Adelante! Atrs!


Columbia: Well I was walking down the street just having a think
When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.
He shook me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes.
He stared at me and I felt a change.
Time meant nothing, never would again.

Todos: Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Narrador: It's just a jump to the left.
12


Todos: And then a step to the right.

Narrador: With your hands on your hips.

Todos: You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

(Columbia baila claqu) Dar palmas siguiendo el ritmo 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14!
Trgate sa, Ann Miller!

Justo antes de que tropiece con las escaleras: Cuidado con el escaln,
mam!


Todos: Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Narrador: It's just a jump to the left. Bjese de la puta mesa, abuelo!

Todos: And then a step to the right.

Narrador: With your hands on your hips.

Todos: You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
that really drives you insane.

Que alguien rebobine la pelcula!

Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Antes de que aparezca la gorda: Sacad los arpones, que viene Moby Dick!

Janet: Brad, say something.
Brad: Di una gilipollez!

Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?
No, pero bailamos la lambada de puta madre!

Janet: Brad, please, let's get out of here.
Mira, Janet lleva un condn en la cabeza!

Brad: For God's sake keep a grip on yourself Janet.
(El ascensor va bajando y Frank golpea el suelo con el tacn al ritmo de la msica)
Aplaudir o golpear el suelo siguiendo el mismo ritmo mientras se va gritando: Sexo
anal! Sexo oral!

Brad: It's just a party, Janet.
Janet: Well - I want to go.
Brad: Well we can't go anywhere until I get to a phone.
Janet: Well then ask the butler or someone.
13

Brad: Just a moment, Janet - we don't want to interfere with their celebration.
Janet: This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad.
Brad: They're probably foreigners with ways different than our own. They may do some
more... folk dancing.
Janet: Look, I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared.
Qu haces cuando te ensean una polla?

Brad: I'm here - there's nothing to worry about
(Janet grita y se desmaya) Gritar cuando Janet lo haga
SWEET TRANSVESTITE
Frank: How do you do, I
See you've met my
Faithful handyman.
He's just a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman. (eco) El camello!

Don't get strung out by the way I look.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover.
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania.
Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound.
You look like you're both pretty groovy.
Haz una mueca!

Date una vuelta!

Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal,
Qu podemos hacer esta noche?

We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.
Quin coo es Steve Reeves?

Brad: I'm glad we caught you at home,
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry.
Janet: Left!

Right. Left!

Brad: We'll just say where we are,
Then go back to the car.
We don't want to be any worry. (eco) Los dos queremos tirarnos a Tim Curry!

Cuando Frank tira el vaso de agua: hacer lo mismo
Frank: Well you got caught with a flat, well, how 'bout that? (eco) Fuck my cat!

Well, babies, don't you panic.
By the light of the night it'll all seem alright.
I'll get you a satanic mechanic.
14

I'm just a sweet transvestite "Boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom!"
From Transexual, Transylvania.
Why don't you stay for the night?
Riff Raff: Night. (eco) "Night!"
Frank: Or maybe a bite? (eco) Bite!

Columbia: Bite.
Frank: I could show you my favourite obsession. "Sexo!"
I've been making a man "Llamas a eso un hombre?

With blond hair and a tan Y a eso un bronceado?

And he's good for relieving my "Sexual!" ... tension
I'm just a sweet transvestite Fllatelo con los ojos!

From Transexual, Transylvania.
HIT IT, HIT IT! Ese culo!

o eco HIT IT, HIT IT!

I'm just a sweet transvestite
Frank, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Sweet transvestite
Frank: From Transexual,
Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Transylvania.
Frank: So Qu?

- come up to the lab,
And see what's on the slab.
I see you shiver with antici - (3 segundos) Dilo!

Mastur

- pation.
But maybe the rain
Isn't really to blame.
So I'll remove the cause. (re)
Y qu pasa con esos sucios sntomas?

But not the symptom.
(aplauso) (les dan toallas a Brad y Janet)
Janet: Eh Janet, qu dices cuando Frank te folla?

Thank you.
Brad: Eh Brad, qu dices cuando Frank te folla?

Thank you very much.
(Columbia y Riff Raff empiezan a desnudar a Brad y Janet)
Janet: Eh Janet, qu dices cuando Brad intenta follarte?

Oh! Brad!
Brad: It's all right Janet. We'll play along for now and pull out the aces Vaya par de
ases!

when the time is right.
Columbia: Cmo te gusta el sexo?

Slowly, slowly! It's too nice a job to rush.
Brad: Hi, my name is Brad Majors, Gilipollas!

and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss; Zorra!

You are...
15

Columbia: You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory. Some people would give
their right arm for the privilege. O su teta izquierda!

Brad: People like you maybe.
Columbia: Ha! I've seen it.
Yo no pongo la lavadora!

Coge algo til, Brad, como un zapato!

(Riff Raff echa vino en una copa) Dale un tiento, Riff!

Riff Raff: Come along - the master doesn't like to be kept waiting.
Columbia: Shift it.
Tira la botella! Alguien se coloca debajo de la pantalla e intenta cogerla.
Eh Riff, ensanos tu cara seria! Hay que mejorarla!

(Janet chilla; el ascensor sube)
Janet: Is he - Frank, I mean - your husband?
Riff Raff: The master is not yet married, nor do I expect he ever shall be. We are simply his
servants. Esclavos!

Janet: Oh.
(El ascensor pasa por un piso a oscuras) Es el camerino de Stevie Wonder!

(Frank aparece en escena) Pero qu modosita!

Mientras la gente sale del ascensor: El hombre invisible primero, las zorras segundo,
los gilipollas tercero !

Al aparecer los transilvanos en la baranda: We are the world / we are the children!

y las bolleras al final!

Todo esto puede ser suyo por un mdico precio!

Mira, son Ken y Barbie!

Frank: Cul es tu color favorito?
Magenta!
De dnde es tu caf?

Columbia! Go assist Riff Raff. Guau guau!

I will entertain... uh huh huh... (se re)
Al cmara!

Tcame a m!

Brad: Brad Majors. Gilipollas! And this is my fiancee, Janet "Vice". Zorra!

Janet: Weiss.
Brad: Weiss? Um

Frank: Eh Frank, hablas francs? Enchant.
(Janet se re)
16

Frank: Qu te parece el cipote de Brad?
Well! how nice. And what charming underclothes you both have. But here. Put
these (smocks) on. They'll make you feel less Desnudos! vulnerable Lo
mismo! It's not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer them... hospitality.
(eco) Horse-brutality!"
Ponte duro, Brad!

Brad: Hospitality!? All we asked was to use your telephone. Goddammit, a reasonable
request which you've chosen to ignore.
Janet: Brad, don't be ungrateful.
Brad: Ungrateful! Cuando Brad se quita las gafas: "Superman!"
Frank: How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So... Grande!
dominant (los transilvanos se ren) You must be awfully proud of him, Janet.
Janet: Eh Janet, eres una zorra? Well, yes I am. (re)
Frank: Do you have any tattoos, Brad?
Brad: Certainly not!
Frank: Pregntale a la zorra! Oh well, how about you. (a Janet)
Janet: No. (rindose)
Riff Raff: Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await your (pausa) word. Joder,
que me acabo de cambiar la joroba!

Frank: Eh Frank, cundo es la orga?

Tonight, my unconventional conventionalists... you are to witness a new
breakthrough in biochemical research... and paradise is to be mine... Es verdad
que tu abuela cag una nutria? It was strange the way it happened... Suddenly
you get a break... Whole pieces start to fit into place, not a sign of being... What a
fool! The answer was there all the time, it took a small accident to make it happen...
Cmo te llamaban tus padres? AN ACCIDENT!
Magenta y Columbia: An accident!
Frank: And that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient, Cul es tu
personaje favorito de Star Trek? that SPARK that is the breath of life... Te
vas a follar a alguien del pblico esta noche? Yes, Sabes algo del sexo
gay?

I have that knowledge... Qu guardas en el paquete?

I hold the
secret... To life? to life... Itself?

itself!
You are fortunate for tonight is the night De la orga? that my beautiful creature
is destined to be BORN!
(Magenta y Columbia cogen la sbana)
Cmo se dice follar en klingon?

Up now! ...throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator... Cules fueron las
ltimas palabras de Chernobyl? and step up the reactor power input THREE
MORE POINTS! (eco) Tres tringulos ms!

Cuando Riff hace girar la rueda: Saca humo del culo, Riff!

A medida que Frank va abriendo los grifos: Rojo! Naranja! Amarillo! Verde!
Azul! Ail! Violeta!

17

Se te ha cado la joroba, Riff!

(Rocky grue)
Es un tampn gigante!

Frank: Oh! Rocky!
THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES
Rocky: The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head,
And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread. Dale una
patada!

Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery.
Oh, can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.
I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed.
Todos: That ain't no crime.
Rocky: And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread.
Todos: That ain't no crime.
Rocky: My high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go.
And all I know is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.
No es un tampn, es una PEONZA gigante!

Todos: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky: Oh ho no no
Todos: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky: Oh ho no no
Todos: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky: Oh ho no no
Rocky: The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head.
Todos: That ain't no crime.
Rocky: And I've got the feeling someone's going to be cutting the thread.
Todos: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky: Oh no no no.
Todos: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky: Oh no no no.
Todos: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
18

Rocky: Oh no no no.
(repetir hasta el final --- Sha-la-la)
Todos: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime,
Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, sha-la-la.
Frank: Well really. That's no way to behave on your first day out.
Rocky: Ugh, ugh (como un perrito)
Frank: Perdnale!

But since you're such an exceptional beauty, I am prepared to forgive you.
Rocky: Ugh, ugh (aplaude) Aplaudir como un nio
Frank: Oh, I just love success.
Riff Raff: He's a credit to your genius, master.
Frank: Yes.
Magenta: A triumph of your will.
Frank: Yes.
Columbia: He's O.K.
Quita las tetas de mi piscina!

Frank: o.k. ? La mosca, Frank!

(pam!) O.K. ? I think we can do better than that.
Humph!
Pregntales a esos dos!

Well, Brad and Janet, what do you think of him?
Janet: Miente, zorra!

Well, I don't like a man with too many muscles Slo uno y bien gordo!

Frank: I didn't make him... FOR YOU! Pues se lo va a follar igual!

He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval.
I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (part I)
Frank: Describe a Poz!

A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds
43 y medio, que ayer se la pel!

Will get sand in his face
When kicked Dale una patada al Hombre Invisible! to the ground;
And soon in the gym with a determined chin,
The sweat from his pores as he works for his cause
Will make him glisten... and gleam.
And with massage, and just a little bit of steam,
He'll be pink and quite clean
He'll be a strong man.
Oh honey...
Todos: But the wrong man.
Frank: He'll eat nutritious high protein. And swallow raw eggs... De quin?

Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms, and... legs.
Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.
In just seven days... Una semana!

19

Frank & transilvanos: I can make you a man.
Frank: He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups, do the snatch, clean and jerk.
He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work. Fllate al potro!

Such strenuous living I just can't understand,
When in just seven days, Una semana!

oh baby,...
I can make you a man.
Cuidado con la puerta!

Frank: Ah...ooh!
Columbia: EDDIE!!! La cena!

Saca la cena del congelador!

sta, en cuanto oye cena , sale corriendo!

HOT PATOOTIE (BLESS MY SOUL)
Tira las gafas y el orinal!

Eddie: Whatever happened to Saturday night,
When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright?
It don't seem the same since cosmic light
Came into my life, I thought I was divine.
I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go,
And listen to the music on the radio;
A saxophone was blowing on a rock 'n roll show.
You climbed in the back seat, you really had a good time.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled.
My hands kind of fumbled with her white plastic belt.
I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt
And she'd whisper in my ear tonight she really was mine.
Get back in front, put some hair oil on
Buddy Holly was singing his very last song.
With your arms around your girl you'd try to sing along.
It felt pretty good. Woo You really had a good time.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
(... for a total of twelve times)
(Frank ataca a Eddie con un pico)
Frank: One from the vaults. (se re)
Rocky: Ugh...
Frank: Oh baby... Don't be upset... No estoy enfadado, estoy cachondo!

It was a mercy killing Mercy, mercy, mercy!"... He had a certain naive charm,
Y msculos?

but no muscle Saca bola! (Rocky flexiona un biceps)... Oh!
20

I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (part II)
Frank: But a deltoid and a bicep
A hot groin and a tricep.
Makes me, Baila con el Pokmon!

oooh , shake,
Makes me want to Charles Atlas by the ...ha-ha-hand.
Frank y transilvanos: In just seven days Una semana! I can make you a man.
Frank: Paso! Patada! Paso! Patada!...

I don't want no dissention, just dynamic tension.
Janet: Canta, zorra!

I'm a muscle fan.
Frank: In just seven days Una semana! I can make you a man
Dig it if you can
In just seven days, I can make you a man.
Es el escaparate final de El Precio Justo !

(Suena la marcha nupcial de Frank y Rocky)
Transilvanos (y pblico): Frank y Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
Titar confetti
Narrador: Yo digo que la vida es una ilusin!

There are those that say that life is an illusion Como tu cuello! , and that reality
is but a figment of the imagination Como tu cuello! . If this is so, then Brad and
Janet are quite safe Como tu cuello! ,... However, the sudden departure of their
host...and his creation...into the seclusion of his somber bridal suite had left them
feeling both apprehensive and uneasy, a feeling which grew No como tu
cuello! as the other guests departed, and they were shown to their separate
rooms. Ensanos tu cuello!

Uy qu cuellito!

(Riff Raff y Magenta llevan a Janet y Brad a sus respectivas habitaciones)
Rosa para las zorras!

Cuidado con la palangana!

Retrospecter!

Y azul para los gilipollas!

Brad sabe dnde est la palangana porque estuvo aqu el mes pasado!

No, es Gran Hermano !

(Llaman a la puerta)
Janet: Uhh! Who is it? Who's there?
Frank (Brad): Soy el fontanero, vengo a desatascarte las caeras!

It's only me, Janet.
Janet: Oh, Brad darling, come in. Oh! Brad Oh Brad. Yes, my darling... but what if...
Frank (Brad): It's all right, Janet, everything's going to be alright.
21

Janet: No le toques el pelo!
Oh, I hope so, my darling. Oh... Ah... Ahh!
Oh no! Un leproso!

OHHH! Oh it's you!
Frank: I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't it nice...
Janet: Oh, you beast, you monster...Oh what have you done with Brad?
Todava nada, se lo guarda para despus!

Frank: Oh, well, nothing. Why, do you think I should?
Janet: You tricked... I wouldn't have... I've never never...
Frank: Yes, yes I know, but it isn't all bad, is it? I think you really found it quite pleasurable.
Janet: Oh, stop... I mean help... Brad Brad!.Oh Brad!! Brad no est ah, Brad nunca ha
llegado hasta ah!

Frank: Shhh. Brad's probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see you like... This!
Janet: Like this Like how??! Oh, it's your fault... you're to blame...
Oh... I was saving myself... Como yo, cario!

Frank: Yes, but I'm sure you're not SPENT yet...
Janet: Promise you won't tell Brad? Pero qu zorra!

Frank: Cross my heart and hope to die...
Mientras Magenta pasa la fregona: As fregaba, as, as / As fregaba, as as / As
fregaba, as as / as fregaba, que yo la vi!

Cuando Riff Raff pase junto a Magenta: No me pises lo mojao!

Cuando aparece Rocky durmiendo: Hay que echarle polvos

de talco!

Es el jardinero? No!

Es el cocinero? No!

Cuando Riff Raff coge el candelabro: Es el asesino del candelabro!

Gritos
S lo que ests pensando, y no le va a caber!

(Riff Raff asusta Rocky con el candelabro.
Mientras Rocky huye: Dnde est el bao?

Trale una vela!

Mientras Rocky baja las escaleras: Es Donkey Kong Junior!

Cuando Riff Raff abraza a Magente: Hincha la mueca!

Cuando Riff muerde a Magenta en el cuello: hacer explotar un globo
Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad darling, it's no good here. It'll destroy us.
Brad: Don't worry Janet, we'll be away from here in the morning.
22

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad you're so strong and protective.
Brad: No le toques el pelo!

Otro leproso!

Ah, ah, ah, oh YOU!
Frank: I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't it nice...
Brad: Why YOU! what have you done with Janet? Desatascarle las caeras!

Frank: Nothing. Why? Do you think I should?
Brad: You tricked me, I wouldn't have... never... never... never... Nunca nunca? Ni
siquiera con los boy-scouts?

Frank: Oh Yes yes, I know... but it isn't all bad, is it? Not even half bad, I think you really
quite enjoyed it.
(Brad empieza a gemir)
Frank: Oh... So soft...
Brad: Stop it... stop it... Oh Janet... JANET! Janet no est ah, Janet nunca ha
llegado hasta ah!

Frank: Janet's probably asleep by now. Do you want her to see you like THIS?
Brad: Like this, like how? It's your fault, you're to blame, I thought it was the real thing!
ac!

Frank: Oh come on, Brad, admit it, you liked it, didn't you? It isn't a crime to give yourself
over to pleasure, Brad. We've wasted so much time already...Janet needn't know, I
won't tell her...
Brad: Well, promise you won't tell...
Frank: On my mother's graoouuuuuu... No se habla con la boca llena!

(BEEPBEEPBEEP... )
Riff Raff: Master, Rocky has broken his chains and vanished. Puf!

Your new playmate is
loose and somewhere on the grounds... Magenta has just released the dogs...
(eco) A sus hermanas!

Frank: Mmmm? Coming! Tan pronto?

Janet: What's happening here? Cambio!

Where's Brad? Cambio!

Where's
ANYbody? Echando un polvo!

Mientras Rocky corre fuera de la casa: Corre Forrest, corre!

Janet: Oh, Brad. Oh, Janet!

Brad, my darling, Janet, my fish!

how could I have
done this to you? Oh! Ha sido fcil! Pero habra sido ms fcil si te hubieras
quitado las medias!

If only we hadn't made this journey... Pero lo hicsteis!

If only the car hadn't broken down... Pero se averi!

If only we were amongst friends... Pero no lo estais!

Or sane persons. Oh Brad,
Oh, Janet!

Oh Brad, Ponte machorra, zorra! what have they done with
23

him... (ve a Brad con Frank en la pantalla) Oh, Brad, S! Brad est fumando!

Oh Brad, how could you? Ha sido muy fcil, l no llevaba medias!

(Rocky gime y grue)
Djale! Slo se est monstruorbando!

Monstruor qu? Monstruorbando!

No saba que el semen fuera negro!

Janet: Oh, but you are hurt No jodas! ... Did they do this to you? Janet, remata la
mosca!

I'll dress your wounds... Baby there... let me make it all better.
Quieres follar? Pinsalo! Sonre si quieres!

Narrador: Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind...Vehement or excited mental state.
Qu es tambin tu cuello? It is also a powerful and irrational master...and from
what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their television monitor there
seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed, Una ninfmana! ... its slave.
Magenta y Columbia: Tell us about it, Janet. (eco) Cuntaselo todo, Chelo!

TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME
Janet: I was feeling done in, couldn't win Como Artur Mas!

I'd only ever kissed before.
Columbia: You mean she...
Magenta: Uh huh
Janet: I thought there's no use getting
Into heavy petting
It only leads to trouble
Eh, mi asiento est mojado!

And seat wetting.
Now all I want to know is how to go.
I've tasted blood and I want more.
Magenta y Columbia: More, more, more (eco) More, more, more!

Janet: I'll put up no resistance
I want to stay the distance
I've got an itch to scratch Dnde?

I need assistance.
Cuando Janet diga Toucha toucha toucha touch me , el pblico se toca.
Toucha toucha toucha touch me
I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
Creature of the night.
Hmmm Huele a bacalao!

Then if anything grows, Te lo comes!

while you pose,
I'll oil you up and rub you down.
Magenta and Columbia: Up!

Down, Up!

down, Up!

down Up!

Janet: And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction
24

You need a friendly hand and I need action.
Toucha toucha toucha touch me
I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
Creature of the night.
Columbia: Toucha toucha toucha touch me
Magenta: I want to be dirty.
Columbia: Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,
Magenta: Creature of the night.
Janet: Toucha toucha toucha touch me I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creature of the night.
La vida desde la taza del vter!

Janet por la piedra! Janet por la piedra! Janet por la piedra!...

Rocky: Creature of the night.
Brad: Creature of the night?
Frank: Creature of the night.
Magenta: Creature of the night.
Riff Raff: Creature of the night.
Columbia: Creature of the night.
Rocky: Creature of the night.
Janet: Creature of the night. Crrete, zorra!

Brad, no te ras!

Riff Raff: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Di gracias en francs!

Merrrrrcy! (Frank va
dndole latigazos) Uno ms y te llevas un gallifante!

Frank: How did it happen? I understood you were to be watching...
Riff Raff: I was only away for a minute... master.
Frank: Well, see if you can find him on the monitor.
No le des ms veces, que le vas a cambiar la joroba de sitio!

Riff Raff: Master, master... we have a visitor.
Es R2-D2 en la pera!

Brad: Hey, Scotty!... Dr. Everett Scott.
Riff Raff: You know this earthling Cuidado, O Brien! ... this person?
Brad: Why yes. He happens to be an old friend of mine.
Frank: Ay no!

I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. You came here with a
purpose.
Brad: I told you, my car broke down. I was telling the truth.
Frank: I know what you told me, Brad... but this Dr. Everett Scott, his name is not unknown
to me.
Brad: He was a science teacher at Denton High School.
25

Ensanos el pezn! Pe-zn! Pe-zn! Pe-zn! (vtores)
Frank: And now he works for your government, doesn't he, Brad? He's attached to the
bureau of investigation of that which you call UFO's!!! Isn't that right, Brad?
Brad: He might be... I don't know.
Riff Raff: The intruder is entering the building, master.
Frank: He'll probably be...entering the Zen room. Oh no! La habitacin Cien no! La
noventa y nueve!

Cuando Scott inspecciona una colilla sospechosa: Fmatelo y psalo!

Shall we inquire of him in person? Oh no! El triple-contact electro-magnet!

(pause)
Cuando Scott pasa por la habitacin de Magenta y Columbia: Llama antes
de entrar! Malditos turistas!


Brad: Great Scott! Tirar papel higinico
Dr. Scott: Frankenfurter, Cmo te gusta el pollo?

we meet at last.
Brad: Dr. Scott!
Dr. Scott: Brad! What are you doing here? Echando un polvo!

Frank: Don't play games, Dr. Scott. You know perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing
here. It was part of your plan, was it not? That he and his female should check the
layout for you. Well, unfortunately for you all, the plans are to be changed. You just
be adaptable, Dr. Scott; I know Brad is. Dijiste que no lo diras!

Dr. Scott: I can assure you that Brad's presence here comes as a complete surprise to me. I
came here to find Eddie. La cena!

Brad: Eddie! I've seen him!
Frank: Eddie! What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott?
Dr. Scott: Ponte chulo!

I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things. You see Eddie
happens to be my nephew. (eco) Mi cena!

(Frank gasps)
Brad: Dr. Scott.
Janet: Ah! La cagaste, zorra!

Dr. Scott: Janet! (eco) Janet!

Janet: Dr. Scott! (eco) Dr. Scott!

Brad: Janet! (eco) Janet!

Janet: Brad! (eco) Brad!

Frank: Rocky! (eco) Rocky!

Cuando aparece Rocky: Ugh!

26

Dr. Scott: Janet! (eco) Janet!

Janet: Dr. Scott! (eco) Dr. Scott!

Brad: Janet! (eco) Janet!

Janet: Brad! (eco) Brad!

Frank: Rocky! (eco) Rocky!

Cuando aparece Rocky: Ugh!

Dr. Scott: Janet! (eco) Janet!

Janet: Dr. Scott! (eco) Dr. Scott!

Brad: Janet! (eco) Janet!

Janet: Brad! (eco) Brad!

Frank: Rocky! (eco) Rocky!

Cuando aparece Rocky: Ugh!

Frank: (a Rocky) Listen... Qu le dices a un trozo de mierda? I made you... and I
can break you just as easily.
Magenta: (GONG) Master, dinner is prepared!
Frank: Qu opinas del sexo oral?

Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to be optional. To-ga! To-
ga!...

Narrator: Food has always played a vital role in Life's rituals. The breaking of the bread, the
last meal of the condemned man, and now... this meal. However informal it might
appear, you can be sure that there was to be little, bonhommie

Son Mulder, Scully y el OVNI!

Esta noche, codillo de rockabilly!

Antes de que Frank encienda el cuchillo elctrico: Travestis, calienten motores!

Cuando Rocky empiece a comer: Todava no!

Cuando Riff derrama el vino en la mesa: Es vino de mesa!

Frank: A toast... Por el canibalismo! to absent friends...
Todos: To absent friends.
Frank: And to Rocky. (tararear la msica de la pelcula Rocky )
(Frank empieza a cantar Happy Birthday Rocky'

y se calla de golpe despus de
Dear Rocky ' Cantar Happy Birthday con Frank.
Shall we?
Es la comida frisbee!

27

Utiliza los cubiertos! Pnchalo!

Dr. Scott: We came here to discuss Eddie.
Columbia: Eddie. (Frank la amenaza con el cuchillo).
Cllate, si no quieres ser el postre!

Frank: That's a rather tender subject. Another slice anyone? Brad lo pilla! Janet lo
pilla! Magenta lo pilla! Rocky lo pilla, pero sigue comiendo!

Columbia: Excuse me Cuando sale por la puerta: Cuidado con el patinete! (Columbia
chilla) No s porqu te pones as, si y ate lo habas comido antes!

S, pero
no se lo trag!

Dr. Scott: I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I imagined... Aliens!
Con quin coo hablas?

Y con quin coo hablamos nosotros?

Rocky: Ugh?
Brad: Doctor Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky! Ugh!

Frank: Go on, Dr. Scott. Or should I say Dr. Von Scott. Sieg Heil!

Brad: Just what exactly are you implying? Que es nazi

Dr. Scott: It's all right!
Brad: Doctor Scott!
Scott: It's all right, Brad.
EDDIE
Dr. Scott: Desde cundo era gay?

From the day he was born "Not the night but the day!"
He was trouble. "Not Monopoly but Trouble!"
He was the thorn "Not the rose but the thorn!"
In his mother's side. "Not the back, but the side!"
She tried in vain... "Not the artery but the vein!"
Narrador: ... But he never caused her nothing but shame. Shame, shame, shame!

Scott: He left home the day she died. It s rockin Scottie! Que no se te caiga la
teta, Magenta!

From the day she was gone Bop shebop bop!

All he wanted Bop shebop bop!

Was Rock 'n' Roll porn Bop shebop bop!

And a motorbike. Wooooooooooooo !

Shooting up junk...
Narrator: Quin era Torete?

He was a low down cheap little punk!
Scott: Taking everyone for a ride.
Metedle un palo por el culo!

Levantar un palo de escoba o similar debajo del Dr. Scott.
28

Todos: When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddie
You knew he was a no-good kid. Palmadas
But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife O con un bolgrafo!

Frank: What a guy!
Janet: Makes you cry.
Scott: Und I did.
Columbia: Everybody shoved him. Un palo por el culo!

I very nearly loved him.
I said, hey, listen to me;
Stay sane inside insanity!
But he locked the door and threw away the key.
Scott: But he must have been drawn into something,
Making him warn
Me in a note that reads...
Todos: What's it say? What's it say? (eco) What's it say? What's it say?

Eddie's voice: I'm out of my hed.
Oh, hurry, or I may be dead.
They mustn't carry out their evil deed. Grita! (grito)
Todos: When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
You knew he was a no-good kid.
But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife. O con un bolgrafo!

Frank: What a guy!
Janet: Makes you cry.
Scott: Und I did.
Todos: When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
You knew he was a no-good kid.
But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife. O con un bolgrafo!

Frank: What a guy!
Todos: Qu dice Pap Noel?

Oh-oh-oh...
Janet: Makes you cry.
Todos: Qu dice Julio Iglesias?

Hey, hey, hey...
Scott: Und I did.
Todos: Eddie! Eddie

Cuando Frank tira del mantel: Vaya mierda de vajilla!

(Todos gritan)
Frank: Rocky! How could you? Eh Frank, juguemos a hostiar a la zorra! T
primero!

(abofetea a Janet)
29

(locura general mientras Frank persigue a Janet. Riff y Magenta se ren, hasta que Riff dice de
golpe "Shut up!") (eco) Cllate!

PLANET, SCHMANET JANET
Frank: I'll tell you once; I won't tell you twice.
You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.
Your apple pie don't taste too nice.
You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.
Dale donde ms duele!

I've laid the seed; it should be all you need.
You're as sensual as a pencil, wound up like an E or first string.
When we made it, didja hear a bell ring? Hacer sonar la campanilla.
Ya gotta block? Well, take my advice.
You better wise up, Janet Weiss.
The transducer will seduce ya.
Janet: My feet! I can't move my feet!
Scott: My wheels! My God, I can't move my wheels! (eco) Dios mo, no me siento las
ruedas!

Brad: No me siento los calcetines! It's as if we're glued to the spot!
Frank: You are! "Je je je je jeeee!". So quake with fear, you tiny fools!
Janet: We're trapped!
Frank: (canta) It's something you'll get used to. A mental mind fuck can be nice.
Scott: You won't find Earth people quite the easy mark you imagine. This sonic
transducer... it is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibratory, physio-molecular
transport device?
Brad: You mean... Un vibrador!

Scott: Yes, Brad, it's something we ourselves have been working on for quite some time
Un vibrador que funciona! . But it seems our friend here has found a means of
perfecting it El vibrador perfecto! . A device capable of breaking down solid
matter and then projecting it through space A jugaaaaar!

and, who knows, perhaps even time itself.
Janet: You mean he's going to send us to another planet?
Frank: Planet, shmanet, Janet! (eco) Planet, shmanet, Janet!

You better wise up, Janet Weiss.
You better wise up, build your thighs up,
You better wise up
Narrator: And then she cried out...
Janet: Stop! (eco) Ms! Ms! Ms!

Cuidado con el vibrador del Hombre Invisible!

Frank: Don't get hot and flustered! Use a bit of mustard.
30

Brad: You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her, Oscar Mayer!

Frank Furter.
(Congela a Brad)
Scott: You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter. Quiero un
donut!

(Congela al Dr. Scott)
Janet: You're a hot dog

(Congela a Janet) Cllate, zorra!

Columbia: Quin es Tim Curry?

My God! Y el mo tambin! I can't stand any more of this! Pues sintate!
First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for
Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again... I loved you
Qu? ... D'ya hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you - a
big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love
and emotion. Ensanos un pezn!

Yeah, well, I've had enough! You're gonna
choose between me and Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his head.
Nadie me ensea el pezn y se libra as como as!

(la congela)
Frank: It's not easy having a good time... (Congela a Rocky) Prueba en
Portaventura! ... Qu dice Sara Montiel? Even smiling makes my face ache
Pues murdete los nudillos! ... Qu dice Michael Jackson? And my
children turn on me... Rocky's behaving just the way Eddie did. Ensanos tu
nico agujero virgen! ... Do you think I made a mistake, splitting his brain
between the two of them?
Magenta: Ahhhh! I grow weary of this world! When shall we return to Transylvania, huh?
Frank: Magenta, No me escupas!

I am indeed grateful to both you and your brother
Riff Raff. You have both served me well. Loyalty such as yours shall not go
unrewarded. You will discover that when the mood takes me, I can be quite
generous.
Magenta: Qu cobras por un completo?

I ask for nothing ["under 12 inches"]...nothing.
Frank: Dale a la mosca!

And you shall receive it... in abundance! Come, we are ready
for the floor show.
Dnde estn los ojos de Magenta?

Bailad una sardana!

Narrator: Tiene un hmster en la mano y va a matarlo! And so, by some extraordinary
co-incidence, fate, it seemed, had decided that Brad and Janet should keep that
appointment with their friend, Dr. Everett Scott. But it was to be in a situation which
none of them would have possibly forseen. And, just a few hours after announcing
their engagement, Brad and Janet had both tasted La polla de Frank! ...
forbidden fruit. Es decir: la polla de Frank!

This in itself was proof that their
host was a man of little morals... and some persuasion 30 centmetros de
persuasin!

What further indignities were they to be subjected to? And what of
the floor show that is spoken of? Dnde te masturbas?

In an empty house?
Cundo te masturbas?

In the middle of the night? What diabolical plan had
seized Frank's crazed imagination? Imita al Sr. Spock! What indeed? From
31

what had gone before, it was clear that this was to be... Un picnic?

no picnic.
Oh mierda! Y yo que me haba trado las hormigas

ROSE TINT MY WORLD
A. FLOOR SHOW
(Frank va arriba y abajo preparando el espectculo, mientras los dems estn congelados en el
escenario)
Esto es lo que pasa cuando no tragas!

Cuando Frank le da a los botones: Venga, a boleo!

(Descongela a Columbia)
Columbia It was great when it all began.
I was a regular Frankie fan.
But it was over when he had the plan
To start a-working on a muscle man.
Now the only thing that gives me hope
Is my love of a certain dope.
Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.
(Descongela a Rocky)
Rocky: I'm just seven hours old, Y no sabes bailar!

And truly beautiful to behold.
And somebody should be told
My libido hasn't been controlled.
Now the only thing I've come to trust
Is an orgasmic rush of lust. Scale punta al lpiz!

Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.
(Dexcongela a Brad)
Brad: Cunto es 2+2?

It's beyond me;
Qu dices cuando te masturbas?

Help me Mommy!
I'll be good; you'll see.
Take this dream away.
What's this? Let's see,
I feel sexy!
What's come over me? Cuidado con el cable!

Woa! Here it comes again.
(Descongela a Janet)
Janet: I feel released; bad times deceased.
My confidence has increased; Y no ha sido lo nico!

reality is here.
The game has been disbanded; my mind has been expanded.
Ensanos dnde guardas el Oscar!

It's a gas that Frankie's landed!
His lust is so sincere.
32

B. FANFARE / DON'T DREAM IT
Damas y caballeros, una produccin de la RKO Radio Picture!

Pero no era de la Fox?

Frank: Whatever happened to Fay Wray? Se foll a un gorila gigante!

That delicate, satin-draped frame?
Primer plano!

Es un pollo travesti!

As it clung to her thigh
How I started to cry Yo tambin llorara si se me follara un mono gigante!

'Cause I wanted to be dressed Como la veneno?

just the same.
Patada!

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh.
Qu es Rappel en tanga?

Erotic nightmares, beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever.
Can't you just see it? Oh, oh, oh.
Chof!

Coplar para disipar la niebla
Don't dream it, be it. (cuatro veces)
Camarero, hay un travesti en mi sopa!

Cllese, o todos querrn uno!

o Mira! Frank est teniendo un sueo hmedo!

o Miguel ngel, te dije en el techo, no en la piscina!

o Qu hace Dios con el dedo en el culo de Frank?

Milagros!

o Es Leonardo DiCaprio? No! Es Kate Winslet!

Es la noche de los travestis vivientes!

Hetero el ltimo!

Camarero, los travestis se multiplican!

Todos: Don't dream it, be it. (twelve times)
(Descongela a Scott)
Scott: Qu dices cuando ves a Aznar?

Ach! We've got to get out of this trap before this decadence saps our wills. I've got
to be strong, Cuidado con el cable!

and try to hang on, or else my mind may
well snap and my life will be lived... Venga guapetn, ensanos esas
piernas! for the thrills!
Brad: It's beyond me; help me Mommy!
Janet: God bless Lilly St. Cyr.
C. WILD AND UNTAMED THING
Frank: Hey Frank, de quin es esta piscina?

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my... my!
I'm a wild and an untamed thing.
I'm a bee with a deadly sting.
You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
33

Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
So let the party and the sounds rock on.
Hazle una paja al Hombre Invisible!

Otra!

We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone.
Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.
Uno! Dos! Tres! Cuatro!

Todos: We're a wild and an untamed thing.
We're bees with a deadly sting.
You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
So let the party and the sounds rock on.
We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone.
Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.
(dos veces)
Y aqu el coregrafo se muri!

S, de asco!

Rocky, no pierdas el paso!

Ahora que vena la parte buena de la peli, y vienen stos a joderla!

Riff Raff: Frank N Furter, it's all over.
Your mission is a failure;
Your lifestyle's too extreme.
I'm your new commander;
You now are my prisoner.
We return to Transylvania.
Prepare the transit beam.
Frank: Wait! Qu dijiste cuando tu madre te pill dndole por el culo al perro?

I
can explain! Puedes explicarlo?

Pues a ver si lo haces mejor, que el mes
pasado te mataron!

(Frank da instrucciones a Columbia y Rocky) T las luces, y t el resto de la mierda
Diossss! Espero que funcione!

I'M GOING HOME
Damas y caballeros, por una noche y slo por una noche, Judy Garland y la sombra de
Alfalfa

Frank: On the day I went away...
Todos: Goodbye...
Frank: Was all I had to say...
Todos: Now I...
Frank: I want to come again ["So does Brad"], and stay. ["hard"]
Todos: Oh, my, my...
Frank: Smile, and that will mean I may.
'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies Windows 95!

Through the tears in my eyes
And I realize, I'm going home.
En esta pelcula se corre hasta el maquillaje!

34

Todos: I'm going home.
Y ahora hace su aparicin el trippy!

Frank: Dnde follas?

Everywhere Y cmo ha ido? it's been the same...
Todos: Feeling...
Frank: Qu sientes cuando te mean encima?

... Like I'm outside in the rain...
Todos: ... Wheeling...
Frank: ... Free to try and find a game...
Todos: dealing...
Frank: ... Cards for sorrow, cards for pain. Tirar naipes.
'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies
Through the tears in my eyes
And I realize, I'm going home.
Autgrafos a la salida, por favor!

Frank y Todos: I'm going home. (3 veces)
(aplauso)
Eclipse total de travesti!

Magenta: How sentimental. Calla, zorra!

Vaya bajn el trippy!

Riff Raff: And also presumptuous of you. You see, when I said WE were to return to
Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself Y al pltano de mi cabeza!

I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, but you see, you are to
remain here, in spirit, anyway.
Scott: Great heavens! That's a laser! No! Es un tenedor gigante!

Riff Raff: Yes, Dr. Scott. A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter.
Brad: You mean... you're going to kill him? What's his crime?
Scott: You saw what became of Eddie. Society must be protected. Que le den po l culo
a la sociedad!

Riff Raff: Exactly, Dr. Scott. And now, Frank N Furter, your time has come. Say goodbye to
all of this, Adiooooos! and hello Hola! to oblivion. Hola olvido! Qu tal la
familia?

La primera en gritar se lleva un tiro en las tetas!

(Columbia grita

Riff Raff le dispara)
(Frank grita Riff Raff le dispara)
Que caiga la cortina!

Un poco de cuerda por favor!

Gracias!

35

Cuando Rocky se sienta junto a Frank: No levantes la cortina, que hay msica mala!

Mam, mama, me han roto la Barbie travesti!

Cuando Rocky sube las escaleras y Riff Raff le va disparando: Pecho de acero!

Hombros de acero! Espalda de acero!

Travesti de acero!

Un plano bonito, por favor!

Cuando cae la torre: Torre de plstico!

P habernos matao!

Janet: Oh! You killed them!
Magenta: But I thought you liked them. They liked you.
Riff Raff: Ponte paranoico!

They didn't like me!
Ponte MUY paranoico!

He never liked ME!
Scott: You did right. Lameculos!

Dispara al de la silla, que siempre se quedan
con las mejores plazas de aparcamiento!

Riff Raff: A decision had to be made.
Scott: Me haces una paja?
You're O.K. by me.
Riff Raff: Dr. Scott, I'm sorry about your... Cena! ... nephew. Lo mismo!

Scott: Eddie? No, Penlope! Yes, well, perhaps it was all for the best, heh, heh, heh.
Estaba delicioso!

Riff Raff: You should leave now, Dr. Scott, while it is still possible. We are about to beam the
entire house to the planet of Transexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania. Lnea 1,
entre Santa Coloma y Fondo!

Go... Now. Significa eso que no podemos
usar el telfono?

Eh, Magenta, haz tu imitacin de una gallina con hipo bajo el agua!

Riff Raff: Our mission is completed, my most beautiful sister Si sa es la hermosa, cmo
ser la fea! , and soon we shall return to the moon-drenched shores of our
beloved planet.
Magenta: Venga Magenta, a por el Oscar!

Sweet Transexual, land of night... To sing and dance once more in your dark
embrace... Cul es tu grupo de msica favorito?

To take that step to the
right...
Riff Raff: But it's the pelvic thrust...
Todos: That really drives you insay-ya-yaaaane...
Magenta: In our world, we'll do the Time Warp again!
SUPER HEROES
Brad: I've done a lot Sexo anal! ; God knows I've tried El sexo anal!

36

To find the truth. I've even lied. Por sexo anal!

But all I know Del sexo anal ! is down inside
Todos: I'm bleeding...
Janet: And super heroes come to the feast Se me ha cado una lentilla!

To taste the flesh not yet deceased.
And all I know is still the beast
Todos: Is feeding...
Ahh, ahh... (etc.)
Mam, me han roto la bici y no me dejan cantar!

Cuando la imagen empiece a girar: mover las manos para hacer que gire.
Narrador: And crawling on the planet's face Qu hay en la Moncloa? Some insects
Cmo se llaman? called the human race... Dnde est tu jodido cuello?

Lost in time Cul es tu serie favorita? And lost in space. And meaning.
Coros!

Todos: Meaning.
Cierra la puerta!

Y apaga el globo!

Abuela, saque el xilofn!

SCIENCE FICTION / DOUBLE FEATURE - REPRISE
Usherette: Science Fiction
Double Feature.
Frank has built and
Lost his creature.
Darkness has conquered
Brad and Janet.
The servants gone to
A distant planet.
Wo, oh, oh, oh.
At the late night, double feature,
Picture show.
I want to go, oh, oh, oh.
To the late night, double feature,
Picture show.