Презентация к Курсу Упр Конфл и Стресс 2 Eng

. .
Potapov
CONFLICT-MANAGEMENT AND
STRESS-MANAGEMENT IN
INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATION
Basic textbooks
1. Grishina N.V. Psychology of conflict SPb.: Peter, 2011
2. Antsupov .Ya., Shipilov .I. Conflictology. SPb.: Peter, 2014
3. Kibanov A.Ya., Vorozjejkina I.E., Zacharov D.K., Konovalov V.G.
Conflictology. M.: INFRA-M, 2010
4. Ababkov V.A., Pere M. Adaptation to stress. Fundamentals of the theory,
diagnosis, therapy SPb.: Rech, 2012.
5. Greenberg J. Comprehensive Stress Management SPb.: Peter, 2012
6. Cornelius Helena, Faire Shoshana Everyone can win: Responding to
conflict constructively Simon & Schuster? Reprint Revised and updated
2nd edition 2007
7. Laurie S. Coltri Conflict Diagnosis and Alternative Dispute Resolution.
2003. ISBN: 0130981095
8. Kate Keenan The Management Guide to Handling Stress: Taking Charge
of Yourself by Mastering Your Stress. ISBN: 9781909179134
9. PAS 1010:2011 Guidance on the management of psychosocial risks in the
workplace
2
Additional references
1. Berkowitz L. Agression: A Social Psychological Analysis. New York: McGraw Hill,
1962.
2. Berkowitz L. A Survey of Social Psychology. Hillsdate, 1975.
3. Berne E. Games People Play : The Psychology of Human Relationships New York :
Ballantine Books, 1973
4. Boulding K. The Role of Conflict in the Dynamics of Society // Current Research on
Peace and Violence. 1986. Vol. IX. No. 3. P. 98-102.
5. Boulding K. Stable Peace. Univ. of Texas Press, 1978.
6. Carnevale P., Pruitt D. Negotiation and Mediation // Annual Review of Psychology.
1992. Vol. 43. P. 531-582.
7. Chase S. Roads to Agreement. Successful Methods in the Science of Human
Relations. New York: Harper & br., 1951.
8. Coser L. Continuities in the Study of Social Conflict. New York: Free Press, 1967.
9. Coser L. The Functions of Social Conflict. London: Routledge & Paul, 1968.
10. Coser L. Introduction to Sociology. New York, 1985.
11. Deutsch M. Distribute Justice: A Social-Psychological Perspective. New Haven and
London, 1985.
12. Field Theory in Social Science. Selected Theoretical Papers by K. Lewin / Ed. By D.
Cartwright. London: Tavistok Publications, 1963.
13. Hjelle L. A., Ziegler D. J. Personality Theories. Basic assumptions, research, and
applications. 3-rd edit. McGRAW-HiILL, Inc., 1995
3
1. Hall C., Lindzey G. Theories of Personality. New York: Wiley & Sons, 1967.
2. Heider F. The Psychology of Interpersonal Relations. New York, 1958.
3. Hollis F. Casework. A Psychosocial Therapy. New York, 1964.
4. Horney K. Neurosis and Human Growth. New York: W W Norton, 1950.
5. Homey K. Our Inner Conflicts. London: K. Paul, 1946.
6. Katz D., Kahn R. The Social Psychology of Organizations. 1967.
7. Lewin K. A Dynamic Theory of Personality. New York; London: McGraw Hill Book
Company, 1935.
8. Lewin K. Resolving Social Conflicts. New York: McGraw Hill, 1948.
9. May R. The Courage to Create. New York; London, 1975.
10. May R. The Discovery of Being. New York; London, 1983.
11. Myers D. Social Psycology. 5-th edit. McGRAW-HiILL, Inc., 2006
12. Pines A., Maslach C. Experiencing social psychology. Readings and Projects.
McGRAW-HiILL, Inc., 2000
13. Pruitt D. Negotiation Behavior. New York; London: Academic Press, 1981.
14. Rapoport A. Conflict in Man-Made Envirinment. Baltimore, 1974.
15. Roots of Agression. A re-examination of the Frustration-Agression Hypothesis /Ed. by
Berkowitz L. New York, 1969.
16. Rudestam K. Experiential Groups in Theory and Practice. Brooks/Cole Publishing
Company Monterey, California, 2010
4
1. Smith M.J. When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. How to Cope Using the Skills, of.
Systematic Assertive Therapy. Bantam Books, 2000
2. Zimbardo Ph. Preface // Ch. Maslasch, Burnout The Cost of Caring. New Jersey,
1982.
3. Bert Hellinger Loves Hidden Symmetry: What Makes Love Work in Relationships.
ISBN: 1891944002
4. Roger Fisher and William Ury, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without
Giving In, (New York: Penguin Books, 1983).
5. http://www.crnhq.org/
5
Signs of conflicts
Conflictus Lat. collision; conflicting or incompatible
interests, attitudes, trends etc.
Signs of conflicts (N.V.Grishina) :
1. There are collision and contradictions.
2. It affects significant interests.
3. Conflict parties have an emotional experience.
4. Activity aimed at overcoming the contradictions.
Necessary and sufficient conditions for conflict

(S.M.Emelyanov) there are contradictions and the
state of confrontation between the subjects of social
interaction.
6
Conflict Definition
By a conflict we understand the most acute way to

solve significant contradictions that arise in the
course of interaction, in the form of confrontation
between parties to a conflict and is usually
accompanied by negative emotions (Antsupov,
Shipilov, 1999, p. 8).
7
Levels of conflict phenomena
By Grishina N.V.:
1. Social conflicts:
Military
Economic
Ethnic
Religious
Conflicts of power
Environmental.
2. Socio-psychological conflicts
) Intergroup conflicts
) Interpersonal conflicts. In interpersonal conflict, you are in conflict
with other individuals.
) Intrapersonal conflicts (intrapsychic conflict). It occurs within you.
By Antsupov A.Ya., Shipilov A.I.: interpersonal conflicts, social
conflicts and conflicts in animal societies.
8
Difficulties in determining the level of conflict
There are several phenomena hindering determination of the kind of
conflict:
Conflict transition from one level to another.
Change the subject of the conflict. Important role in this play defense
mechanisms of the psyche.(The husband wants, but is afraid to
move forward in their career. But seeing the problem in his wife, who
he feels are too concerned about the lack of money in the family.)
So sometimes people seeking help in a conflict situation, wants to

solve the problem, but may not be ready to meet real difficulties.
9
Psychological approach to the consideration of
conflicts. Intropsychic approach.
In accordance with the intropsychic approach the source of conflict lies in
the man himself.
According to S. Freud - human nature is deeply conflicted. There is a
double conflict:
Contradictory personality of a person (the struggle of the ID/Superego,
ID/Ego, Superego/Ego);
The conflict between man and society.
In principle it is impossible to fully get rid of conflicts, it only concerns
mitigation of them.
Conflicts, which have not found resolution in childhood, may result in
behaviour disorders in adulthood.
The three main types of social orientation of the individual by K. Horney:
- the movement to the people;
- the movement from people
- the movement against the people.
10
Defence mechanisms *
A defence mechanism is a coping technique that reduces
anxiety arising from unacceptable or potentially harmful impulses.[1]
Defence mechanisms are unconscious and are not to be confused
with conscious coping strategies. Sigmund Freud was one of the
first proponents of this construct.
In psychoanalytic theory, defence mechanisms are psychological
strategies brought into play by the unconscious mind to manipulate,
deny, or distort reality in order to defend against feelings of anxiety
and unacceptable impulses to maintain one's self-schema.
An ego defence mechanism becomes pathological only when its
persistent use leads to maladaptive behaviour such that the physical
or mental health of the individual is adversely affected. The purpose
of ego defence mechanisms is to protect the mind/self/ego from
anxiety and/or social sanctions and/or to provide a refuge from a
situation with which one cannot currently cope
*- https://en.wikipedia.org
11
Defence mechanisms
Repression: when a feeling is hidden and forced from the consciousness to the
unconscious because it is seen as socially unacceptable.
Denial: Refusal to accept external reality because it is too threatening; arguing
against an anxiety-provoking stimulus by stating it doesn't exist; resolution of
emotional conflict and reduction of anxiety by refusing to perceive or consciously
acknowledge the more unpleasant aspects of external reality.
Projection: Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the undesirable
impulses or desires without becoming consciously aware of them; attributing one's
own unacknowledged unacceptable or unwanted thoughts and emotions to another;
Displacement: defence mechanism that shifts sexual or aggressive impulses to a
more acceptable or less threatening target; redirecting emotion to a safer outlet;
separation of emotion from its real object and redirection of the intense emotion
toward someone or something that is less offensive or threatening in order to avoid
dealing directly with what is frightening or threatening. (For example, a mother may
yell at her child because she is angry with her husband.)
Rationalization (making excuses): Convincing oneself that no wrong has been
done and that all is or was all right through faulty and false reasoning. An indicator of
this defence mechanism can be seen socially as the formulation of convenient
excuses.
12
Defence mechanisms
Regression: Temporary reversion of the ego to an earlier stage of
development rather than handling unacceptable impulses in a more
adult way, for example, using whining as a method of
communicating despite already having acquired the ability to speak
with appropriate grammar.
Reaction formation: Converting unconscious wishes or impulses
that are perceived to be dangerous or unacceptable into their
opposites; behaviour that is completely the opposite of what one
really wants or feels; taking the opposite belief because the true
belief causes anxiety.
Sublimation: Transformation of unhelpful emotions or instincts into
healthy actions, behaviours, or emotions, for example, playing a
heavy contact sport such as football or rugby can transform
aggression into a game.
..
13
Communication in transactional analysis
(E. e)
The initial positions of transactional analysis (TA) are:
- any communication (compared with its absence)

useful and beneficial for people;
- people are constantly concerned about how to
structure their time (structural hunger). One of the
functions of life in society is to render each other
mutual assistance in this matter.
- people in a social group at each time point detects
one of the States Ego - Parent, Adult or Child.
14
The characteristics of the three Ego States (E.
Bern)
Child (source of intuition, creativity, spontaneous
impulses and joy): shows feelings, to obey,
naughtiness, justified, asks questions, "Why me?",
"What am I being punished?".
Adult: work with information, thinks, analyzes,

clarifies the situation, talking on equal terms,
appeals to reason, logic, etc.
Parent: requires, estimates (condemned / approve),

teaches, directs, protects, etc.
15
Transactions
A transaction the fundamental unit of social intercourse.
Complementary transactions occur when both people are at
the same level (Parent talking to Parent, etc.), or
transactions are parallel to each other.
In other words, in normal human relations incentive stimulus
appropriate, expected and natural response (reaction).
So long as transactions remain complimentary,
communication can continue indefinitely.
16
Transactions
Problems usually occur in Crossed transactions. When
transactions is crossed a break in communication results, and
one or both individuals will need to shift ego states in order for
the communication to be re-established.
The behavioural outcome of an ulterior transaction (one
where two messages are sent at the same time; one overt
social and one covert psychological) is determined at the
psychological level and not at the social level.
17
Transactions
We can help communication if we need to by trying to shift the other
persons ego state by inviting people to move into a different ego state
(they may not always move into it though, particularly if someone is
habitually in one ego state). Do this by acknowledging their current ego
state (by the appropriate message or response) and then invite them
into another ego state by the words (and body language) which you
use.
Invite them to move into Adult by:
Asking a question
Stating a few facts
Asking for their opinion
Asking for their preference
Asking for their view
18
Transactions
Invite them to move into Nurturing Parent by:
Asking for their help
Asking for their advice
Asking for their expert opinion
Communicating your fears/worries.
Invite them to move into Natural Child (Free Child) by:

Being one yourself
Showing the funny side of the situation
Going to nurturing parent
Being enthusiastic
Showing an unconventional way of looking at things.
19
Four life positions
As Berne set his Psychology up, there are four life positions that a person
can hold and holding a particular psychological position has profound
implications for how an individual operationalizes his or her life. The
positions are stated as:
I'm OK and you are OK. This is the healthiest position about life and
it means that I feel good about myself and that I feel good about
others and their competence.
I'm OK and you are not OK. In this position I feel good about myself
but I see others as damaged or less than and it is usually not healthy,
I'm not OK and you are OK. In this position the person sees
him/herself as the weak partner in relationships as the others in life
are definitely better than the self. The person who holds this position
will unconsciously accept abuse as OK.
I'm not OK and you are not OK. This is the worst position to be in as
it means that I believe that I am in a terrible state and the rest of the
world is as bad. Consequently there is no hope for any ultimate
supports.
20
Ways of time structuring (E.Bern)
There are six ways of structuring time by

giving and receiving strokes:
Withdrawal
Ritual
Pastimes
Activity
Games
Intimacy
21
Withdrawal. This means no strokes are being exchanged.
Rituals - is a series of transactions that are complementary
(reciprocal), stereotyped and based on social programming. Rituals
usually comprise a series of strokes exchanged between two
parties. (For instance, two people may have a daily two stroke ritual,
where, the first time they meet each day, each one greets the other with a
"Hi".)
Pastimes - is a series of transactions that is complementary (reciprocal),
semi-ritualistic, and is mainly intended as a time-structuring activity.
Pastimes have no covert purpose and can usually be carried out only
between people on the same wavelength. They are usually shallow and
harmless. Pastimes are a type of smalltalk.
Activities (work) in this context mean the individuals work together for a
common goal. This may be work, sports or something similar. In contrast to
Pastimes, there is a meaningful purpose guiding the interactions, while
Pastimes are just about exchanging strokes. Strokes can then be given in
the context of the cooperation. Thus the strokes are generally not personal,
but related to the activity.
22
Games - is a series of transactions that is complementary
(reciprocal), ulterior, and proceeds towards a predictable outcome.
Games are always characterized by a switch in roles of players
towards the end. Games are always played by Parent and Child ego
states, and games can have any number of players; however, an
individual's role can shift, and people within games can play multiple
roles. If a person uses their Adult in a game then this would be a
manoeuvre and not a game on the part of the person using their Adult
ego state. Adult functioning is conscious. Game playing is out of
awareness.
Berne identified dozens of games, noting that, regardless of when,

where or by whom they were played, each game tended towards very
similar structures in how many players or roles were involved, the rules
of the game, and the game's goals.
23
Each game has a payoff for those playing it, such as the aim of
earning sympathy, satisfaction, vindication, or some other emotion that
usually reinforces the life script. The antithesis of a game, that is, the
way to break it, lies in discovering how to deprive the actors of their
payoff.
Intimacy as a way of structuring time allows one to exchange the

strongest strokes without playing a Game. Intimacy differs from
Games as there is no covert purpose, and differs from Activities as
there is no other process going on which defines a context of
cooperation. Strokes are personal, relating to the other person, and
often unconditional.
24
The conflict in behavioural approach
Behavior is determined by external factors of the situation.
S -> R,
where S stimulus; R reaction.
As a special case for conflict: Situation -> Conflict
It is a form of reaction to the situation.
Pathology behavior is the result of improper learning in
childhood.
Experimental study of conflicts:

1. Laboratory games (prisoner's dilemma).
2. Playback in real laboratory conditions.
3. Playback it in real-life conditions.
25
Prisoner's dilemma
26
Cognitive approach
Human behavior is not determined by the situation itself but

its determined by the subjective perception of a situation
(based on historical experience).
Conflict is the result of the evaluation of a situation as a

conflict. I.e. the Conflict is not the situation itself, but its
the interpretation of situation (perception of threat from
the other, the perception of incompatibility of interests of
the parties, etc.).
27
Systemic therapy of Bert Hellinger
The principles (main laws) of existence of the
social system (family, clan, organization...) on
B.Hellinger
everyone has an equal right to belong to their

family system (the opposite is the exclude);
there is a hierarchy in terms of birth order
those born first come first parents give and
children receive;
there is a balance of giving and receiving.
28
Systemic therapy of Bert Hellinger*
The work of Bert Hellinger is changing the world one family at a
time. A former priest who became a psychoanalyst and
psychotherapist, Hellinger has developed a unique, highly effective
method to help people resolve their entanglements with the difficult
fates of family members in this and preceding generations.
Bert Hellinger draws from many sources to synthesize his
special methods, but the result is a refreshing new look at the
causes and resolutions of many kinds of illness.
It is these hidden family dynamics that Bert Hellingers Family
Constellations, the hallmark of his approach, reveal. He has
observed that there is an order to the way love flows in relationships
and when that order is disrupted, it is often family members in
subsequent generations who experience the consequences of this
disruption. They unconsciously take on these consequences
unknowingly integrating them into their lives, often with detrimental
results.
* - http://www.theconstellationsgroup.com/articles/ordersoflove.html
29
Systemic therapy of Bert Hellinger
Through the Family Constellation, a person is shown the true
origin of the stated problem and new opportunities for
disentanglement and resolution. The client can see and feel love
flowing again in his or her family system and will no longer have to
sacrifice personal health or well-being.
The constellation becomes a picture for the clients soul to
observe. Often, representative for other members of the family are
brought into the constellation so that love can be reestablished in
areas that have lost that connection. If possible, the facilitator
restores the harmonious flow of love and dignity among the various
family members and releases the clients representative from
identifying with the difficult fates of predecessors.
The goal of the constellation is to show the client a resolution
picture of the family system, a new way to image ones self and the
family dynamics.
30
Major trends of modern understanding of a
conflict
1. The conflict is seen as a natural fragment of human life.
2. Conflict contains a number of positive functions (first appeared in
sociology in the 1950s of the twentieth century):
) Conflicts are a source of development.
b) Alarm function of conflicts (the signal of trouble and need for
change).
c) Connective function of conflict.
Due to the conflict people can know each other better and get closer.
Conflict is an opportunity for plain speaking (Chicago school
psychologists).
d) Ventilation, improvement of relations.
The sociologist Facet (USA), Conflict is like a thunderstorm; it cleans the
air that people breathe.
By today's standards, conflict is a controlled phenomenon. You can
control so as to increase the positive possibilities and reduce the
destructive content.
31
Methods of conflict resolution
Group of methods Specific methods
1. Methods and assessment of The observation. Survey. The
personality. testing.
2. Methods of research and The observation. Survey.

assessment of socio-psychological Sociometric method.
phenomena in groups.
3. Methods of diagnosis and analysis The observation. Survey.

of conflicts. Analysis of results of operations.
The method of expert interviews.
4. Methods of conflict management. Structural methods. Method
cartography.
32
The phenomenology of conflict. Structural
characteristics of the conflict
1) parties to a conflict;
2) context conflict;
3) subject matter of a conflict;
4) actions of those involved in a conflict;
5) outcome (result) of a conflict.
It is also worth mentioning more subjective components of

the structure of a conflict, such as the image of a conflict
situation, the conflict motives and s of the conflicting
parties.
33
Structure of the conflict
S1, S2 parties to a conflict (subjects of a conflict); subject
matter of a conflict;
1 2 images of the subject matter of a conflict (a conflict
situation);
1 2 conflict motives; 1 2 positions of the conflicting
parties.
34
Dynamic characteristics of conflicts
The stages of development of the conflict and the processes that occur
at various stages are considered as the dynamic characteristics of a
conflict.
Stages of conflict :
1. The and development of an objective conflict (pre-conflict)
situation.
2. Perceiving the situation as a conflict by at least one of the
participants in the social interaction and emotionally experiencing by
him/her this fact.
3. Start of open conflict interaction (or actually a conflict). This stage is
expressed in the fact that one of the participants in the social
interaction, who realised the conflict situation, starts actions (in the
form of a demarche, statements, warnings etc.) to the detriment of
the enemy.
4. Development of an open conflict.
5. Conflict resolution.
35
Types of conflicts. Intropersonal conflicts
The conflicts of the human soul. It's some kind of contradiction, which
one experiences as an internal problem.
There are 2 forms of experiencing internal difficulties:

- The conflict.
- Crisis.
The crisis is a more extensive concept than conflict. It is
experienced by the person as a whole (whole personality is
captured) becomes dominant. While the crisis is not resolved, the
individual can do nothing, the one is deprived of adequate personal
functioning.
Crises happen:
- Age.
- Associated with some event in the life existential
crisis (loss of loved ones, divorce, an important choice...).
36
Five stages of grief
The model was first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kbler-
Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, and was inspired by
her work with terminally ill patients.
The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:[2]
Denial One of the first reactions is denial, wherein the survivor
imagines a false, preferable reality.
Anger When the individual recognizes that denial cannot
continue, it becomes frustrated, especially at proximate individuals.
Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase
would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?";
'"Who is to blame?"; "Why would God let this happen?".
Bargaining The third stage involves the hope that the individual
can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended
life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle.
Other times, they will use anything valuable against another human
agency to extend or prolong the life. People facing less serious
trauma can bargain or seek compromise.
37
Depression "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going
to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the individual becomes saddened by the
certainty of death. In this state, the individual may become silent,
refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.
Acceptance "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well
prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future,
or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may
precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a
calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of
emotions.
Kbler-Ross later expanded her model to include any form of personal
loss, such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or income,
major rejection, the end of a relationship or divorce, drug
addiction, incarceration, the onset of a disease or chronic illness,
an infertility diagnosis, and even minor losses.
38
In example grieving a lost amorous relationship
Denial.The person left behind is unable to admit that the relationship
is over. He/she may continue to seek the former partner's attention.
Anger. The partner left behind may blame the departing partner, or
him/herself.
Bargaining. The partner left behind may plead with a departing
partner that the stimulus that provoked the breakup shall not be
repeated. Example: "I can change. Please give me a chance."
Alternatively, he/she may attempt to renegotiate the terms of the
relationship.
Depression. The partner left behind might feel discouraged that his
or her bargaining plea did not convince the former partner to stay.
Acceptance. Lastly, the partner abandons all efforts toward renewal
of the relationship.[4]
39
Types of intrapersonal conflict (by character
of contradictions). Motivational conflicts
The conflict, in contrast to the crisis, captures some part of the human
self (not the whole personality). Gives the ability to function
adequately in some areas of life. The conflict easier to understand
(than the crises) because less intensity, emotion, people can easier
to reflect.
Motivational conflict (MC).
The contradiction at the basis of motivational conflict - the struggle
of motives (dominants become periodically one, then the other
motives)
K. Lewin gave a classical description of varieties MC:
- The Approach-Approach Conflict.
- The Avoidance-Avoidance Conflict.
- The Approach-Avoidance Conflict.
- The Double Avoidance Conflict.
(Approach=Like/ Avoidance=I dont Like)
40
Four types conflict situations of difficult
choice (by K.Lewin)
The Approach-Approach Conflict occurs when there are
two desirable alternatives (positive goals), but you can only
choose one of them ("Buridan's ass").
The Avoidance-Avoidance Conflict occurs when you
want to escape from or avoid two undesirable alternatives
(negative goals).
The Approach-Avoidance Conflict occurs when you see
the same goal in both positive and negative terms. (For
example, suppose you want to marry someone with a
different religion to you, but you parents say that they will
disown you if you do.)
The Double Avoidance Conflict occurs when you see
simultaneously see two goals in both positive and negative
terms.
41
Cognitive and intrapersonal role conflicts
Cognitive conflict (CC).
The scope of the conflict the concepts and the human views of the
world.
The human instinctively seeks to build ideas about themselves and the
world as a logical scheme.
Cognitive dissonance (L.Festinger, 1957) is the mental stress or
discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more
contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, or is confronted
by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values.
If something does not fit into the scheme and contradictions arise, people
artificially trying to reduce the importance of one and increase the
importance of other positions.
Role conflict (RC).
Role the position of the person in the relationship. Roles can be
random (situational) and stable (constant).
- Intra-role conflicts.
- Inter-role conflicts.
42
Classification of intrapersonal conflicts on the
basis of the analysis of value-motivational sphere
of personality (A. Shipilov)
Patterns of personality in Type of intrapersonal conflict

conflict
want must can
+-----+ Motivational (between want-want)
+---- -----+ Moral (between want-must)
+---- -------------- -----+ Unfulfilled desire (inferiority complex)

(between want-can)
+-------+ Role (must-must)
+------ -----+ Adaptive (must-can)
+-------+ Inadequate self-esteem (can-can)
43
Types of interpersonal conflicts (IPC) (by the
nature of contradictions). A conflict of interest
The conflict of interest (CI) involves a contradiction in motives,
aspirations (you could call it as motivational, but by tradition, and to
distinguish from intropersonal MC is called CI).
A typical situation is when our interests and the interests of the people
around us come into conflict.
Can be two variants of situations:

The interests of participants in the interaction are controversial, but
fundamentally compatible (not always obvious the opportunity to
combine interests).
The incompatible interests of the parties. The parties claim to any
limited resource.
If the resource is divisible,- the task of separation of the distribution.
If indivisible - task of a choice.
This situation is win/loss.
44
Conflicts of and conflicts of norms and rules of
interaction.
The conflict of values (CV) - analogue of cognitive conflict, only at the
interpersonal or intergroup level.
Values are crucial for a man of convictions, beliefs, and worldview
(religious, spiritual values, etc.)
If our values are different this does not mean that we are doomed
to CV (if not to argue about the values).
Our interaction implies the agreement of the values that underpin it.
The conflict of norms and rules of interaction (CNI) analogue of

role conflict.
Role interaction is accompanied by expectations about each other's,
requirements to another person.
CNI arise in a situation of violation (voluntary or involuntary) any
rules and regulations.
45
Other criteria for the classification of conflicts
The nature of the needs of a person for satisfaction which he
fights (resource, status-role, spiritual).
The nature and characteristics of the participating parties.
The sharpness of the counter involved in the conflict of parties
(intensity low, medium, high).
In the sphere of
(family, household, industrial, labor, political...).

By duration
The ratio of constructive and destructive elements in the conflict
(constructive, destructive).
The number of parties involved in the conflict and its
consequences
For elaboration of normative ways of resolving them
46
Intergroup conflicts. Organizational conflicts
Versions of the conflict Possible causes

The administration of the Poor communication; violation of law; intolerable
organization the staff of working conditions, low wages, etc.
the organization
Administration unions Violation of labour laws by the administration; poor
working conditions; low wages, etc.
Conflict between Mutual dependence on the task; the allocation of

departments within the resources; poor communication; restructuring
organization
Conflict between Violation of contractual obligations; competition for

organizations resources, spheres of influence, markets, etc.
47
Intergroup conflicts. Organizational conflicts
Versions of the conflict Possible causes

The conflict between small groups Opposed interests, values, goals;
within the team ambitions of the leaders
Conflicts between informal groups in The opposite of spiritual interests,

society values; group extremism
48
The realistic theory of group conflict
D.Campbell
1. The real conflict of interests of different groups leads to
intergroup conflict. Intergroup conflict will be, respectively,
especially severe if an actual conflict of interest is significant, and
the estimated winning of sides is great.
2. Actual conflict of interest, as well as explicit, active or past
intergroup conflict and/or the presence of hostility, threats and
competition from neighbouring groups (which may generally be
referred to as a "real threat") determine the threat perceptions of
individual group members.
3. A real threat that causes the hostility of some members of the
group to the source of threat. According to the Sheriff, the more
hostility, the greater at risk value than larger goal towards which
competing groups seek, and the more serious obstacle in the
way.
49
The realistic theory of group conflict D.Campbel (extension)
4. The real threat leads to intra-group solidarity.
5. The real threat leads to a more complete understanding of
the individual's own group membership (identity).
6. The real threat increases the impermeability of group
boundaries.
7. The real threat reduces the deviations of individuals from
group norms.
8. The real threat increases the punishment and the degree of
rejection of members who breached of loyalty to their group .
9. The real threat leads to the necessity of punishment and
exclusion of group members, deviating from group norms
10. The erroneous perception of the members of the group of
threats from external groups leads to increased intra-group
solidarity and hostility towards external groups .
50
Features of perception in inter-group
conflicts
1. "Deindividualization" mutual perception. Members of
the conflicting groups perceive each other according to
the scheme
"We They".
2. Inadequate social group comparison. In group views
its group is rated higher, and dignity of the opposing
group underestimated.
3. Group attribution. In this case, positive behavior and
negative behavior of another group due to internal
reasons. And, respectively, negative behavior and
positive behavior of someone else due to external
circumstances.
51
Managing intergroup conflict
Stage management The main content of management actions
1. Forecasting Constant interaction across all communication
conflict channels with external organizations;
Work with leaders in small groups within the team and
within units in the organization; analysis of public
opinion; knowledge of the early symptoms of
intergroup conflict in their latent phase (critical
remarks about other groups, strengthening the
identification of "We" with emphasis on the opposition
of "They," etc.)
2. The prevention Based on in-depth analysis of causes and factors of

of conflict the looming conflict to take steps to neutralize them;
active work with the leaders to exchange information
about potential opponents; the use of pedagogical
and administrative measures for the prevention of
motives ripening of the conflict
52
Managing intergroup conflict
Stage management The main content of management actions
3. of the conflict To achieve recognition of the reality of the conflict the
leaders of conflicting groups; the legitimization of the
conflict, the establishment of norms and rules of
interaction in addressing conflict disputes;
institutionalization of the conflict, the establishment of
appropriate working groups on regulation of the
conflict; the widespread use of technologies for
conflict management (see chapter 5).
4. Conflict The organization of the negotiation process on the
resolution resolution of the conflict; the conclusion of a Treaty on
the harmonization of the interests and positions of the
conflicting parties
53
The process of arising conflict
Conflict is something passing through the mind of a person and identify
them as a problem. i.e. something subjective; on the other hand
the conflict is something objective (the situation)
The Definition of the Action as The real

The external
situation (for example - in a conflict
situation
perception as a conflict) conflict situation
Bruno: "Perception is already a decision.

The person responds in a holistic (Gestalt) and emotionally
(like/dislike).
Sociological
theorem: If situations are defined as real, its become real in their
consequences.
Robert K. Merton (USA, sociologist) a self-fulfilling prophecy
people do everything to ensure that his predictions came true.
54
Features of perception of a conflict situation
The image of the conflict situation involves a view:
opponents of themselves (goals, motives, values,
capabilities,...);
about the opposing side (her order...);
each participant about how the other perceives it;
about the environment in which are formed a particular
relationship.
The degree of distortion of perception of the conflict

situation is not constant (it can be minor for example,
in the short-term conflict, but, as a rule, can achieve
significant scale).
Distortion of perception of the conflict situation in

General:
The conflict situation is simplified (complex or unclear
points are discarded), the situation is schematised
(allocated some basic stable connection);
decreases the prospect the perception of the situation;
the consequences are not computed.
polar (black-white) perception of the situation;
categorical assessments;
filtering and interpretation of information in line with their
preconceptions.
Distortion of perception of the motives of behavior in
conflict :
Own motivation socially approved reasons (fight for
justice, honor, dignity, democracy, constitutional order...)
The motives of the opponent sneaky and low (careerism,
enrichment, scheming, flattery...). Or "Yes, the opponent
may be right, but look at how he acts!
Distortion of perception of the actions, sayings :
Own position the normative validity of its position, its
expediency. ("I do everything right." "I have to do" (blame
circumstances). "Differently in this situation it is impossible to
do that." "It is his fault that I have to act." "Everyone is doing
it".)
The position of the opponent erroneous, unsubstantiated,
regulatory not supported. ("This is a dastardly deeds". "He just
does that to me harm". "He deliberately does so").
Distorted perception of personal qualities:
The perception of oneself highlighted positive and attractive features.
The perception of the personality of the opponent the exaggeration of
negative traits and properties.
Thus, these distortions lead to the formation of "enemy image".
Factors that affect the degree of distortion of perception of the conflict:
Stress (it constricts and impedes thinking and simplifies the perception).
The high level of negative emotions (sharply distorted perceptions).
Availability of information the parties to the conflict about each other (the
smaller the more guessing).
Features of perceptual processes (with low intellectual development
superficial assessment of the situation, the estimates are of an extreme
nature).
The inability to foresee the consequences (only 15% of the opponents are
more or less accurately predict the development of events).
The more important the motives and needs of a person affected, the higher
the probability distortion.
Dominance in the mind of the opponent "the concept of aggressive
environment".
Negative setting on your opponent, which emerged in the pre-conflict period.
The state of alcoholic or narcotic intoxication...
58
Objective and subjective factors of conflict (causes
of conflict)
Objective causes of conflict the circumstances of social interaction of
people, which led to a clash of opinions, attitudes. Objective reasons lead to
the creation of pre-conflict circumstances the objective component of the
pre-conflict situation.
Subjective reasons related to the individual psychological characteristics of
opponents.
Objective (A. Shipilov)

A lot of them. Among the most common:
Natural collision of significant material and spiritual interests in life;
The poorly developed legal and other standards for resolving social
contradictions;
The deficit is important for the normal life of people material and spiritual
benefits;
Stable patterns of interpersonal and intergroup relations (class struggle,
intolerance).
Environmental pollution, effects of electromagnetic fields, solar activity....(with
increasing temperature increases the likelihood of riots).
Objective and subjective factors of conflict
(causes of conflict)
Organizational and managerial causes of conflicts (also largely objective):
Structural-organizational (the lack of organizational structure to the
requirements of the activity). They arise because of errors in the design of the
structure and because of the natural changes of organizational activity.
Functional-organizational (non-optimality of the functional relationships of
the organization with the external environment, between the structural
elements of the organization, between individual workers).
Personal-functional (incomplete compliance of the employee position on a
professional, moral qualities, etc).
Situational management (due to mistakes made by managers and
subordinates in the process of solving managerial tasks, etc.).
According to the statistics of industrial conflict conflict is the fault of:

Executives (wrong decisions) in 52% of cases;
Socio-psychological incompatibility of employees 33%;
Wrong recruitment 15%.
Conflict behavior
Conflict behavior has its own principles, strategies (ways),
tactics (techniques).
The basic principles of conflict confrontation:
the concentration of forces;
coordination of forces;
striking at the most vulnerable point in the enemy's lines;
save effort, energy, time, etc.
Strategies of behavior in conflict orientation of the
personality (the group) in relation to the conflict, setting on
certain forms of conduct.
The strategy can be different and are determined both by
the personal characteristics of the opponents, and
objective elements of the situation of the conflict
interaction.
61
Strategies of behavior in conflict situations
(behavioural onflict-handling styles) (K. Thomas, R.
Killman)
On myself
Competing Collaborating
Compromising
Avoiding Accommodating
On the another person
62
Strategies of behavior in conflict
situations
I. Avoiding failure to achieve personal goals and participate in
relationships with others.
II. Competing power strategy: goals are very important,
relationship no (the shirt closer to the body).
III. The Accommodation strategy of smoothing of sharp corners.
Relationships are important, purpose is not. Want to be accepted
and loved, therefore giving up your goals.
IV. Compromise is moderately important and goals and relationships.
Willing to give up some goals in order to maintain the relationship.
V. Collaboration open and honest confrontation. People value and
purpose and relationships. They openly identify the position and
looking for the exit to work together to achieve the goals. Strive to
find solutions that satisfy all participants.
63
A. Competing
Uses:
1. When quick, decisive action is vital - e.g., emergencies.
2. On important issues where unpopular courses of action need to be
implemented - e.g., cost cutting, enforcing unpopular rules, discipline.
3. On issues vital to company welfare when you know you're right.
4. To protect yourself against people who take advantage of
noncompetitive behavior.
If you scored High:
Are you surrounded by "yes" men? (If so, perhaps it's because they have
learned that it's unwise to disagree with you, or have given up trying to
influence you. This closes you off from information.)
Are subordinates afraid to admit ignorance and uncertainties to you? (In
competitive climates, one must fight for influence and respect which
means acting more certain and confident than one feels. The upshot is that
people are less able to ask for information and opinion - they are less able
to learn.)
64
A. Competing
If you scored Low:
Do you often feel powerless in situations? (It may be because you are
unaware of the power you do have, unskilled in its use. or uncomfortable
with the idea of using it. This may hinder your effectiveness by restricting
your influence.)
Do you have trouble taking a firm stand, even when you see the need?
(Sometimes concerns for other's feelings or anxieties about the use of
power cause us to vacillate. which may mean postponing the decision and
adding to the suffering and/or resentment of others.)
To develop this style you must develop your ability to argue and
debate, use your rank or position, assert your opinions and feelings,
and learn to state your position and stand your ground.
65
B. Collaborating
Uses:
1. To find an integrative solution when both sets of concerns are too
important to be compromised.
2. When your objective is to learn - e.g., testing your own assumptions,
understanding the views of others.
3. To merge insights from people with different perspectives on a problem.
4. To gain commitment by incorporating other's concerns into a
consensual decision.
5. To work through hard feelings which have been interfering with an
interpersonal relationship.
If you scored High:
Do you spend time discussing issues in depth that do not seem to deserve it?
(Collaboration takes time and energy - perhaps the scarcest organizational
resources. Trivial problems don't require optimal solutions, and not all personal
differences need to be hashed out. The overuse of collaboration and
consensual decision-making sometimes represents a desire to minimize risk by
diffusing responsibility for a decision or by postponing action.)
66
B. Collaborating
Does your collaborative behavior fail to elicit collaborative responses from
others? (The exploratory and tentative nature of some collaborative behavior
may make it easy for others to disregard collaborative overtures, or the trust
and openness may be taken advantage of. You may be missing some cues
that indicate the presence of defensiveness, strong feelings, impatience,
competitiveness, or conflicting interests.)
If you scored Low:
Is it hard for you to see differences as opportunities for joint gain as
opportunities to learn or solve problems! (Although there are often
threatening or unproductive aspects of conflict, indiscriminate pessimism can
prevent you from seeing collaborative possibilities and thus deprive you of
the mutual gains and satisfactions which accompany successful
collaboration.)
Are subordinates uncommitted to your decisions or policies? (Perhaps their
own concerns are not being incorporated into those decisions or policies.)
Collaborating skills include the ability to use active or effective listening,

confront situations in a nonthreatening way, analyze input, and identify
underlying concerns.
67
C. Compromising
Uses:
1. When goals are moderately important, but not worth the effort or
potential disruption of more assertive modes.
2. When two opponents with equal power are strongly committed to
mutually exclusive goals - e.g., as in labor-management bargaining.
3. To achieve temporary settlements to complex issues.
4. To arrive at expedient solutions under time pressure.
5. As a backup mode when collaboration or competition fails to be
successful.
If you scored High:
Do you concentrate so heavily upon the practicalities and tactics of
compromise that you sometimes lose sight of larger issues - principles,
values, long-term objectives, or company/team welfare?
Does an emphasis on bargaining and trading create a cynical climate of
gamesmanship? (Such a climate might undermine interpersonal trust and
deflect attention away from the merits of the issues discussed.)
68
C. Compromising
If you scored Low:
1. Do you find yourself too sensitive or embarrassed to be effective
in bargaining situations'?
2. Do you find it hard to make concessions? (Without this safety
calve. you may have trouble getting gracefully out of mutually
destructive arguments, power struggles, etc.)
Compromising skills include the ability to communicate and keep the

dialogue open, the ability to find an answer that is fair to both parties,
the ability to give up part of what you want, and the ability to assign
value to all aspects of the issue.
69
D. Avoiding
Uses:
1. When an issue is trivial. of only passing importance, or when other
more important issues are pressing.
2. When you perceive no chance of satisfying your concerns - e.g.,
when you have low power or you are frustrated by something which
would be very difficult to change (national policies. someone's
personality structure, etc.)
3. When the potential damage of confronting a conflict outweighs the
benefits of its resolution.
4. To let people cool down - to reduce tensions to a productive level
and to regain perspective and composure.
5. When gathering more information outweighs the advantages of an
immediate decision.
6. When others can resolve the conflict more effectively.
7. When the issue seems tangential or symptomatic of another more
basic issue.
70
D. Avoiding
If you scored High:
Does your coordination suffer because people have trouble getting your inputs
on issues?
Does it often appear that people are "walking on eggshells? (Sometimes a
dysfunctional amount of energy can be devoted to caution and the avoiding of
issues, indicating that issues need to be faced and resolved.)
Are decisions on important issues made by default?
If you scored Low:
Do you find yourself hurting people's feelings or stirring up hostilities? (You may
need to exercise more discretion in confronting issues or more tact in framing
issues in non-threatening mays. Tact is partially the art of avoiding potentially
disruptive aspects of an issue.)
Do you often feel harried or overwhelmed by a number of issues? (You may
need to devote more time to setting priorities - deciding which issues are
relatively unimportant and perhaps delegating them to others.)
To develop skills in this style use foresight in knowing when to withdraw,
learn to sidestep loaded questions or sensitive areas by using diplomacy,
become skillful at creating a sense of timing, and practice leaving things
unresolved.
71
E. Accommodating
Uses:
1. When you realize that you are wrong (or less experienced or
knowledgeable- to allow a better position to be heard, to from others,
and to show that you are reasonable.
2. When the issue is much more important to the other person than to
yourself to satisfy the needs of others, and as a goodwill gesture to
help maintain a cooperative relationship.
3. To build up social credits for later issues which are important to you.
4. When continued competition would only damage your cause - when
you are outmatched and losing.
5. When preserving harmony and avoiding disruption are especially
important.
6. To aid in the managerial development of subordinates by allowing
them to experiment and learn from their own mistakes.
72
E. Accommodating
If you scored High:
Do you feel that your own ideas and concerns are not getting the attention
they deserve? (Deferring too much to the concerns of others can deprive
you of influence, respect, and recognition. It also deprives the organization
of your potential contributions.)
Is discipline lax? (Although discipline for its own sake may be of little value,
there are often rules, procedures, and assignments whose implementation
is crucial for you or the organization.)
If you scored Low:
Do you have trouble building goodwill with others'? (Accommodation on
minor issues that are important to others is a gesture of goodwill.)
Do others often seem to regard you as unreasonable?
Do you have trouble admitting it when you art: wrong?
Do you recognize legitimate exceptions to rules?
Do you know when to give up?
Accommodating skills include the ability to sacrifice, the ability to be

selfless, the ability to obey orders, and the ability to yield.
73
situations (A.Shipilov, 1999)
Identifying strategies based on the ratio of the basic parameters of
behavior:
1. Inflexibility of position:
- hardness (presenting and defending interests) assertive,
energetic effect on the opponent (requirement, guidance, physical
impact);
- softness indirect means of influence, taking into account the
nuances of the personality of the opponent (not straight, thinner).
2. The modality of the relation to the opponent:
- as to the subject;
- as to the object.
74
situations (A.Shipilov, 1999)
Hard
position
Normative (Legitimate) Confrontational
opponent opponent
is subject is object
Negotiational Manipulative
Soft
position
The factors of choosing the strategy
1. The factors of the situation:
- evaluation by the participants of the conflict the
effectiveness of implementing the strategy;
- the status of the opponent;
- the time favors a strategy of avoidance.
2. Personal factors:
- orientation of motivation of participants of the conflict on
their own interests/ other people's interests/ the interests of
the cause;
- the type of relationship to others (dominant types (power-
leading, independently-dominant, straight-aggressive,
suspicious-skeptical) more frequently choose active
strategies (competition or collaboration));
- some accentuation of character (psyhasthenic often the
choice of accommodation or collaboration).
76
Tactics of behavior in conflict
Tactics the set of methods of impact on the opponent, the
means of strategy implementation.
Tactics:
- The gripping and holding an object;
- Physical violence (harm);
- Psychological violence (harm);
- Pressure (orders, threats, blackmail...);
- Demonstrative actions;
- Authorization;
- Coalitions;
- Fixing their position;
- Friendliness;
- Deals.
77
Indirect signs of incipient social or
organizational conflict
- the decline of labor discipline,
- the growth in employee turnover,
- growth of safety labour violations (injuries).
- in the team rapidly deteriorating socio-psychological
climate,
- widespread rumors,
- increased absenteeism, leave without pay, absence
due to illness and other reasons.
In the activities of bodies of state power about social

tensions and the emergence of conflict can be judged by
monitoring public opinion polls and analysis of citizens'
appeals to the authorities.
78
Stage Formation
At the stage of formation the parties are formulating
theirs requirements. Preliminary balancing of forces
occurs in the form of negotiations. The end stage
finished as either an incident or call a strike.
Accompanied:
- Mobilizing forses of the parties (involved in a variety of
ways (from negotiation to violence and threats)
supporters, the use of media).
- Clarification of requirements.
- The parties seek to harm each other using a variety of
methods from threats to violence.
79
Stage Flowering (maturity)
The heyday of the conflict is the time of activity, when there is full
or partial suspension of production. The escalation of the conflict
reaches its peak. Alignment of interests is achieved through
negotiations.
The main characteristic peak of the strike a maximum of
participants. Actively working the strike Committee, Union
Committee, the conciliation Commission.
The signs of the peak of the conflict:

- maximum number of participants involved in conflict;
- the highest level of self-organization;
- the maximum influence of informal leaders;
- high emotional intensity;
- the most important decisions that determine the further development
of the conflict (usually to a decline in tension).
80
The final stage
Stage occurs either after they have exhausted the resources of
one or both of the parties or upon reaching an agreement through
negotiations. Phase is complete, usually resume [A. K. Zaitsev
Social conflict at the enterprise. Kaluga, 1993. P. 39-41].
In addition to the actions related to the resolution of conflict, in
the completion stage includes post-conflict settings.
The main methods of the end of the conflict:

1. Peaceful settlement; to reach a mutual agreement, a compromise
that satisfies both parties.
2. Military solution to the conflict (the victory of one side over the
other). (hidden potential dissatisfaction remains)
3. Attenuation (fading) of the conflict. (in case of insufficient
conditions to resolve differences at this time by existing means
when one or both parties have exhausted their resources).
81
The conflict can be viewed as uncontrollable
(L. Greenhalgh) if:
one or both parties can wish conflict continuation;
the emotional relations of the parties are that, that constructive
interaction is impossible;
the conflict is a top of an iceberg, and its solution has no
considerable influence on deep antagonistic roots (Greenhalgh,
1986).
There are three main factors that makes the conflict intractable (L.
Krisberg ):
parties see their interests as mutually exclusive and perceive the
conflict as a struggle;
differences in perceptions of the nature of the conflict associated
with either the initial differences in values of the parties or with a
different interpretation of the essence of what is happening;
institutionalization of the conflict, which in a certain way
conservation it
82
Diagnosis ease organizational conflict
resolution (L. Greenhalgh, 1986)
Diagnostic model of conflict
The continuum of points of view
Measurements Difficult to resolve Easy to resolve
The subject of the dispute A matter of principle Individual differences
The rates Much Small
The interdependence of Zero-sum A positive amount

the parties
Continuity of interaction Single transaction The prospects of a continuing
relationship
The structure of the The amorphous or Associated, with strong leadership
parties fraction, with weak
leadership
The involvement of a third There isnt neutral third Credible, influential, prestigious, neutral
party party
The perceived progress of Imbalance: one side feels Equal to the damage caused by the
the conflict that itself have suffered parties to each other
more damage
83
Resolution of conflicts. Basic concepts
Management of the conflict process of control of the conflict by

participants of interaction or the third forces. (Control interferes with
conflict escalation, its expansion).
Completion of the conflict any end or the termination of the
conflict, which isn't obligatory assuming the it resolution
Conflict settlement partial or temporary resolution of the conflict.
Resolution of conflict elimination or minimization of the problem
dividing participants of the conflict; it is usually reached by means of
the agreement of the parties.
I.e. two components are supposed:
- Elimination or minimization of a problem;
- Achievement of consent.
84
The kinds of activity entering into
management of the conflicts
predicting of the conflicts and assessment of their
functional orientation;
prevention or stimulation of the conflict;
conflict regulation;
resolution of conflict.
85
Predicting conflict
Prediction of conflict is aimed at identifying the
causes of a possible conflict in the process of social
interaction.
Content predict: a study of the objective and subjective
conditions of human interaction and individual
psychological characteristics (management style, the
level of social tension, socio-psychological climate,
leadership and small groups, etc.)
A special place in predicting conflict is an ongoing

analysis of general and particular causes of conflict
(e.g., in organization).
86
Conflict prevention
The prevention of conflict activity of the subject of
management, aimed at avoidance of conflict. Based on the
prediction of the conflict.
May exist a forced form of prevention of conflicts and
preventive form (prophylaxis).
The main ways of preventing conflict (prophylaxis) :
constant concern about meeting the needs and requests of
employees;
selection and placement of staff (individual characteristics);
the principle of social justice in decisions affecting the
interests of the collective and the individual;
education of employees, formation of their culture of
communication
87
The stimulation of conflict
Stimulation of conflicts is aimed at provocation,
challenge conflict. Stimulation is justified in relation to
constructive conflict.
Possible incentives:
the imposition of problematic issue for discussion at the
meeting, the seminar;
criticism of the situation at the meeting;
performance with critical materials in the media. When
incentives conflict, a leader must be ready for
constructive management.
88
Conflict regulation
Conflict regulation is aimed at weakening and limitation of conflict, ensure
its development towards resolution.
Regulation involves a number of stages:
I stage. Recognition of the reality of conflict parties.
Stage II. Legitimization of conflict reaching agreement between the
parties on the recognition and observance of norms and ru of conflict
interaction.
Stage III. Institutionalization of the conflict the establishment of the
relevant bodies, working groups on regulation of the conflict.
In the process of regulation it is important to consider the technology:
a) Information the elimination of lack of information in conflict; an exception
from information fields of false, distorted information; addressing rumors...
b) Communication organization communication the parties of the conflict
and their supporters; ensuring effective communication.
c) Socio-psychological work with informal leaders and groups; reducing
social tensions, strengthening social and socio-psychological climate in the
team.
d) Organizational staffing; the use of methods of rewards and punishment;
modifying terms of staff interaction.
89
Conflict resolution
business activity of a control subject associated with the end of conflict. Can be
full resolution (the elimination of the causes of the subject of conflict and conflict
situations), incomplete (not all the causes are eliminated).
In actual practice for management of conflicts it is important to consider the

preconditions, forms, methods of conflict resolution.
Preconditions for conflict resolution:
sufficient maturity conflict;
the needs of the parties in its resolution;
the necessary and sufficient resources to resolve the conflict.
Form of solutions:
the destruction (suppression) of one of the parties (accommodating in the conflict);
coordination of interests and positions on the new basis (compromise, consensus);
mutual reconciliation of the parties (avoiding);
the translation movement in the direction of cooperation on joint overcoming of
contradictions (collaboration).
Ways to resolve:
administrative (dismissal, transfer to another job, the decision of the court...);
pedagogical (conversation, persuasion, request, explanation...).
90
The management of conflict at its various
stages
Stage of conflict Forms of activity
1. The birth and development of Predicting, prevention/Stimulation

conflict situation
2. Becoming aware of the conflict Prevention/Stimulation
at least one of the participants in
social interaction
3. The beginning of open conflict Regulation
interaction
4. The development of open Regulation
conflict
5. Conflict resolution Resolution
91
The algorithm of the work of a Manager in
the conflict management process
Step The content of the activity Methods of implementation
1 The study of the causes of Surveillance; analysis of results of
the conflict work activity; discussion; analysis of
documents; biographical method
(data of participants of the conflict).
2 Limit the number of Work with leaders in small groups; a
participants redistribution of functional
responsibilities;
encouragement/punishment...
3 Additional analysis of the The survey of experts; involvement
conflict with the help of of a mediator, a psychologist; the
experts negotiation process (mediation)...
4 The decision Administrative methods;
pedagogical methods
92
Social technology of conflict management
Conflict situation Avoiding

The choice of
methods Compromising
regulation
Competing
(Violence)
Analysis of
conflict situation
The use of force
The choice of
means of Mediation
regulation
Avoiding Direct
the conflict negotiations
Implementation
Impact analysis
of solutions
Types of negotiation
Negotiations can be conducted within the framework of conflict relations
and in terms of cooperation (not eliminates differences).
By the goals of the participants consider negotiation:
On the renewal of existing agreements
On normalization (conflict relations)
About redistribution
The creation of new conditions
To achieve side effects (demonstration of peace, understanding positions,
distraction, etc.)
Functions of negotiations:
Information
Communicative
Regulation and coordination
Control
Distraction
Propaganda
Procrastination
94
The main ideas the method of principled
negotiation R. Fisher and W. Ury*
A good agreement is one which is wise and efficient, and which
improves the parties' relationship. Wise agreements satisfy the
parties' interests and are fair and lasting. The authors' goal is to
develop a method for reaching good agreements.
Negotiations often take the form of positional bargaining. In

positional bargaining each part opens with their position on an issue.
The parties then bargain from their separate opening positions to
agree on one position. Haggling over a price is a typical example of
positional bargaining.
Fisher and Ury argue that positional bargaining does not tend
to produce good agreements. It is an inefficient means of reaching
agreements, and the agreements tend to neglect the parties' interests.
It encourages stubbornness and so tends to harm the parties'
relationship.
* - http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/example/fish7513.htm
95
The method of principled negotiation R. Fisher, W. Ury.
Principled negotiation provides a better way of reaching good

agreements. Fisher and Ury develop four principles of negotiation.
Their process of principled negotiation can be used effectively on
almost any type of dispute.
Their four principles are:
1. separate the people from the problem;
2. focus on interests rather than positions;
3. generate a variety of options before settling on an agreement;
4. insist that the agreement be based on objective criteria.
These principles should be observed at each stage of the negotiation

process.
96
The method of principled negotiation
R. Fisher, W. Ury.
The process begins with the analysis of the situation or problem, of
the other parties' interests and perceptions, and of the existing
options. The next stage is to plan ways of responding to the situation
and the other parties. Finally, the parties discuss the problem trying
to find a solution on which they can agree.
1. Fisher and Ury's first principle is to separate the people from
the issues. People tend to become personally involved with the
issues and with their side's positions. And so they will tend to take
responses to those issues and positions as personal attacks.
Separating the people from the issues allows the parties to
address the issues without damaging their relationship. It also helps
them to get a clearer view of the substantive problem.
97
The method of principled negotiation R. Fisher, W. Ury
The authors identify three basic sorts of people problems.

1) First are differences on perception among the parties. Since
most conflicts are based in differing interpretations of the facts, it is
crucial for both sides to understand the other's viewpoint. The
parties should try to put themselves in the other's place.
2) Emotions are a second source of people problems. Negotiation
can be a frustrating process. People often react with fear or anger
when they feel that their interests are threatened. The first step in
dealing with emotions is to acknowledge them, and to try to
understand their source. The parties must acknowledge the fact that
certain emotions are present, even when they don't see those
feelings as reasonable. The parties must allow the other side to
express their emotions. They must not react emotionally to
emotional outbursts. Symbolic gestures such as apologies or an
expression of sympathy can help to defuse strong emotions.
98
3) Communication is the third main source of people problems.

Negotiators may not be speaking to each other, but may simply be
grandstanding for their respective constituencies. The parties may
not be listening to each other, but may instead be planning their own
responses. To combat these problems, the parties should employ
active listening. The listeners should give the speaker their full
attention, occasionally summarizing the speaker's points to confirm
their understanding. It is important to remember that understanding
the other's case does not mean agreeing with it. Speakers should
direct their speech toward the other parties and keep focused on
what they are trying to communicate. Each side should avoid
blaming or attacking the other, and should speak about themselves.
Generally the best way to deal with people problems is to prevent
them from arising. People problems are less likely to come up if the
parties have a good relationship, and think of each other as partners
in negotiation rather than as adversaries.
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2. Good agreements focus on the parties' interests, rather

than their positions. As Fisher and Ury explain, "Your position is
something you have decided upon. Your interests are what caused
you to so decide. Defining a problem in terms of positions means
that at least one party will "lose" the dispute. When a problem is
defined in terms of the parties' underlying interests it is often
possible to find a solution which satisfies both parties' interests.
The first step is to identify the parties' interests regarding the issue
at hand. This can be done by asking why they hold the positions
they do, and by considering why they don't hold some other possible
position. Each party usually has a number of different interests
underlying their positions. And interests may differ somewhat among
the individual members of each side. However, all people will share
certain basic interests or needs, such as the need for security and
economic well-being.
100
Once the parties have identified their interests, they must discuss
them together. If a party wants the other side to take their interests
into account, that party must explain their interests clearly. The other
side will be more motivated to take those interests into account if the
first party shows that they are paying attention to the other side's
interests. Parties should keep a clear focus on their interests, but
remain open to different proposals and positions.
3. Fisher and Ury identify four obstacles to generating creative
options for solving a problem. Parties may decide prematurely on
an option and so fail to consider alternatives. The parties may be
intent on narrowing their options to find the single answer. The
parties may define the problem in win-lose terms, assuming that the
only options are for one side to win and the other to lose. Or a party
may decide that it is up to the other side to come up with a solution
to the problem.
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First it is important to separate the invention process from the
evaluation stage. The parties should come together in an informal
atmosphere and brainstorm for all possible solutions to the problem.
Wild and creative proposals are encouraged. Brainstorming
sessions can be made more creative and productive by encouraging
the parties to shift between four types of thinking: stating the
problem, analyzing the problem, considering general approaches,
and considering specific actions. Parties may suggest partial
solutions to the problem. Only after a variety of proposals have been
made should the group turn to evaluating the ideas. Evaluation
should start with the most promising proposals. The parties may
also refine and improve proposals at this point.
Participants can avoid falling into a win-lose mentality by focusing
on shared interests. When the parties' interests differ, they should
seek options in which those differences can be made compatible or
even complementary. The key to reconciling different interests is to
"look for items that are of low cost to you and high benefit to them,
and vice versa."
102
4. When interests are directly opposed, the parties should use

objective criteria to resolve their differences. Allowing such
differences to spark a battle of wills will destroy relationships, is
inefficient, and is not likely to produce wise agreements. Decisions
based on reasonable standards makes it easier for the parties to
agree and preserve their good relationship.
The first step is to develop objective criteria. Usually there are a
number of different criteria which could be used. The parties must
agree which criteria is best for their situation. Criteria should be
both legitimate and practical. Scientific findings, professional
standards, or legal precedent are possible sources of objective
criteria. One way to test for objectivity is to ask if both sides would
agree to be bound by those standards.
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When the Other Party Is More Powerful (R. Fisher, W. Ury)
No negotiation method can completely overcome differences in power.

However, Fisher and Ury suggest ways to protect the weaker party
against a poor agreement, and to help the weaker party make the most
of their assets.
Often negotiators will establish a "bottom line" in an attempt to protect
themselves against a poor agreement. The bottom line is what the party
anticipates as the worst acceptable outcome. Negotiators decide in
advance of actual negotiations to reject any proposal below that line.
Fisher and Ury argue against using bottom lines. Because the
bottom line figure is decided upon in advance of discussions, the figure
may be arbitrary or unrealistic. Having already committed oneself to a
rigid bottom line also inhibits inventiveness in generating options.
Instead the weaker party should concentrate on assessing their best
alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA). The authors note
that "the reason you negotiate is to produce something better than the
results you can obtain without negotiating."
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When the Other Party Is More Powerful (R. Fisher, W. Ury)
The weaker party should reject agreements that would leave them
worse off than their BATNA. Without a clear idea of their BATNA a
party is simply negotiating blindly. The BATNA is also key to making
the most of existing assets. Power in a negotiation comes from the
ability to walk away from negotiations.
Generally, the weaker party can take unilateral steps to improve
their alternatives to negotiation. They must identify potential
opportunities and take steps to further develop those opportunities.
The weaker party will have a better understanding of the negotiation
context if they also try to estimate the other side's BATNA. Fisher
and Ury conclude that "developing your BATNA thus not only
enables you to determine what is a minimally acceptable agreement,
it will probably raise that minimum."
105
When the Other Party Won't Use Principled Negotiation (R.
Fisher, W. Ury)
Fisher and Ury describe three approaches for dealing with opponents
who are stuck in positional bargaining. First, one side may simply
continue to use the principled approach. The authors point out that
this approach is often contagious.
Second, the principled party may use "negotiation jujitsu" to bring the
other party in line. The key is to refuse to respond in kind to their
positional bargaining. When the other side attacks, the principles party
should not counter attack, but should deflect the attack back onto
the problem. Positional bargainers usually attack either by asserting
their position, or by attacking the other side's ideas or people. When
they assert their position, respond by asking for the reasons behind that
position. When they attack the other side's ideas, the principle party
should take it as constructive criticism and invite further feedback and
advice. Personal attacks should be recast as attacks on the problem.
Generally the principled party should use questions and strategic
silences to draw the other party out.
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When the Other Party Won't Use Principled Negotiation (R.
Fisher, W. Ury)
When the other party remains stuck in positional bargaining, the
one-text approach may be used. In this approach a third party is
brought in.
1) The third party should interview each side separately to determine
what their underlying interests are.
2) The third party then assembles a list of their interests and asks
each side for their comments and criticisms of the list.
3) She then takes those comments and draws up a proposal.
4) The proposal is given to the parties for comments, redrafted, and
returned again for more comments.
This process continues until the third party feels that no further
improvements can be made.
5) At that point, the parties must decide whether to accept the
refined proposal or to abandon negotiations.
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When the Other Party Uses Dirty Tricks (R. Fisher, W. Ury)
Sometimes parties will use unethical or unpleasant tricks in an attempt
to gain an advantage in negotiations such as good guy/bad guy
routines, uncomfortable seating, and leaks to the media. The best way
to respond to such tricky tactics is to explicitly raise the issue in
negotiations, and to engage in principled negotiation to establish
procedural ground rules for the negotiation.
The general types of tricky tactics:
Parties may engage in deliberate deception about the facts, their
authority, or their intentions. The best way to protect against being
deceived is to seek verification the other side's claims. It may help to
ask them for further clarification of a claim, or to put the claim in writing.
However, in doing this it is very important not to be seen as calling the
other party a liar; that is, as making a personal attack.
Another common type of tactic is psychological warfare. When the
tricky party uses a stressful environment, the principled party should
identify the problematic element and suggest a more comfortable or fair
change.
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Subtle personal attacks can be made less effective simply be
recognizing them for what they are. Explicitly identifying them to the
offending party will often put an end to such attacks. Threats are a
way to apply psychological pressure. The principled negotiator
should ignore them where possible, or undertake principled
negotiations on the use of threats in the proceedings.
The last class of trick tactics are positional pressure tactics which
attempt to structure negotiations so that only one side can make
concessions. The tricky side may refuse to negotiate, hoping to use
their entry into negotiations as a bargaining chip, or they may open
with extreme demands. The principled negotiator should recognize
this as a bargaining tactic, and look into their interests in refusing to
negotiate. They may escalate their demands for every concession
they make. The principled negotiator should explicitly identify this
tactic to the participants, and give the parties a chance to consider
whether they want to continue negotiations under such conditions.
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Parties may try to make irrevocable commitments to certain

positions, or to make-take-it-or-leave-it offers. The principled party
may decline to recognize the commitment or the finality of the offer,
instead treating them as proposals or expressed interests. Insist that
any proposals be evaluated on their merits, and don't hesitate to
point out dirty tricks.
110
Models of negotiation
The model of mutual benefits this type of negotiations, in which

decisions are made (integrative solution), fully satisfying the
interests of all parties. (80% of the organizational conflicts can be
resolved this way) This model is used in the case of fundamentally
compatible interests of the parties.
Model concessions-rapprochements (the model of bargaining).
These concessions can be symmetrical or not symmetrical (if one
side is stronger). The model used in the case of incompatible
interests of the parties.
The main question is compatible or incompatible interests of

parties?
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The General scheme of the negotiation process
For example situation:
there are two participants associated with the positions (both
claim to be orange).
Step 1. The determination of the parties ' positions and

identify their interests.
Position 1. "I want the orange".
Position 2. "No. I want this orange".
Because of different positions, should continue to identify the
interests of the parties that are behind the positions (you need to ask
questions Why do you want this orange?, What happens if you
don't get the orange?).
The main rule of negotiations: Never negotiate on the positions

level. It should to be lead on the interests level.
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The General scheme of the negotiation process
In this regard we reformulate:
Interest 1. "I want to squeeze out of orange juice" (thirst or hunger).
Interest 2. "I want to make of an orange crust candied fruits for a culinary
product". (orangeado)
Step 2. Check of compatibility of interests.
We clear up whether there are options at which the solution can be found.
Option 1. If interests weren't compatible:
we use model of concessions-rapprochements. We go to a compromise
for example, to divide orange (if both participants want it to eat or to squeeze
out juice).
Option 2. If interests were compatible:
The parties offer combination options (we look for the integrative decision).
Further there is a check on compatibility of options.
If the decision doesn't approach offer new options, etc.
In our case we find the integrative solution which suits all participants:
"The pulp of orange is taken by the first participant. A peel from orange is
taken by the second one".
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Main content of negotiation
1. Preparatory stage.
Collection of information about the content of the conflict,
participants, the causes of conflict, consequences, versions of the
decision.
2. Beginning of negotiations.
Mutual exchange of information. Participants state the positions,
assess a situation, offer versions of the decision.
3. Search of the decision.
Versions of the decision are discussed, positions and motives of the
parties are specified, compromise options, ways of the movement to
consensus are studied
3. Completion of negotiations.
Contract details, terms of implementation of obligations are
specified, duties are distributed, control forms are established.
114
Participation of the third party in a
resolution of conflicts
Three options of mediation (Linchevsky, 2000, page 155):
1. Disjunctive (disconnecting).
2. Conjunctive (unifying).
3. Mixed
Roles of the third party at a resolution of
conflict (Antsupov, Shipilov, 1999)
The arbitration judge - possesses the greatest opportunities,
passes the decision which can't be challenged.
The arbitrator - also has the right to make the decision, however it
can be appealed by the parties.
The intermediary (mediator) - provides constructive discussion of
a problem.
The assistant his functions are similar to functions of the
intermediary, but, obviously, with smaller powers.
The observer - carries out a role of the constraining beginning in
interaction of the parties.
Expediency of this or that form of participation of the third party in

a resolution of conflict is defined first of all by features of the conflict
116
Forms of regulation of the conflicts (Darendorf,
1994)
Invitation Following to the Name

third party decision third party
Voluntary Voluntary Mediation
Obligatory
Obligatory Voluntary Arbitration
Obligatory Obligatory arbitration

Model of regulation of the conflicts (model of
arbitration) with the assistance of the head as the
arbitrator
1. Conversation with one of participants of the conflict or according
to its address to the head, or at the initiative of the head considering
necessary to interfere with a situation;
2. Conversation with the second participant of the conflict (which
collecting some specifying or additional information can precede);
3. The analysis of a situation the head directed on establishment of
a truth and development of own position (decision);
4. A meeting with both conflicting parties at which the situation can
be discussed in addition. The head or has on participants of the
conflict impact from the point of view of his own opinion, or simply
tells them the decision on a question, disputable for them. The
decision can be made in favor of one of the parties, have
compromise character or appear some new option.
118
The concept of stress
Stress is an integral and non-specific response of the body to the
damaging effect to ensure that the organism will survive through the
mobilisation and formation of protective systems.
The term was coined in medical practice by the prominent
Canadian scientist Hans Selye (Hans Hugo Bruno Selye) (1907-1982).
119
The concept of stress
Under stress, along with elements of adaptation to strong irritants,

there are elements of stress and even damage. That versatility
accompanying the stress of the triad of changes, reduction of the
thymus, an increase in the adrenal cortex and the appearance of
hemorrhage and even ulcers in the lining of the gastrointestinal
tract made it possible for H. Selye to hypothesise the general
adaptation syndrome (GAS), which was later called stress.
H. Selye was able to prove that in all these cases, the adrenal
cortex releases the same anti-stress hormones that help the body
adapt to any stressor.
120
Three-phase course of the general
adaptation syndrome (Selye, 1972)
121
Three-phase course of the GAS
1. Alarm reaction phase (with a division into a phase of shock and
a phase of countershock) is the initial response, which is an
expression of the general call to activate the bodys defences. At this
phase there is considerable variation in physiological and biochemical
processes that occur as symptoms of damage and protective reaction.
The value of defence reactions is that they are designed to eliminate
(neutralise) arising defects.
2. Stage of resistance or adaptation. The manifestation of the
second stage is quite different from that which characterises the alarm
reaction. In particular, if at the alarm stage tissue decomposition
processes of various compounds are amplified, then synthesis
processes at the stage of resistance. This second stage balances
spending of adaptation reserves.
At this stage, the body adapts to new conditions of existence, or the
damage becomes worse.
122
Three-phase course of the GAS
3. Stage of exhaustion or death. This stage develops in the case

of the prolonged destructive action of adverse effects. At this phase,
irreversible destructive changes are recorded, hydrolytic processes
are enhanced, the energy-producing and synthetic reactions are
suppressed, the homeostasis is broken. We still do not know
what exactly is exhausted but it is clear that it does not
stocks of calories (H. Selye).
123
Eustress and distress
For many years, the fact that external influences lead only to
consumption and depletion of adaptive capabilities was the conviction
H. Selye, which he succinctly formulated as wear and tear. That belief
was based on the fact that he mostly used strong pathogenic effects.
However, in the last decade of his life Selye posed the stress
management issue, that is an increased resistance to stress effect. He
proposed to distinguish between stress; positive and negative effect on
the functioning of the body (eustress and distress respectively).
Eustress mobilises and activates the internal reserves of a person,
improves the course of mental and physiological functions. Distress is
a destructive process that makes behaviour disruptive.
124
Factors contributing to the transition of
stress to eustress
125
Factors contributing to the transition of the
primary stress to distress
126
The impacts of stress on the body
The nature of the effect of stress on the human body depends on

many factors, among which the three most important are:
stress intensity;
duration of stress;
susceptibility of a particular person to a given stressor.
Experts in psychology indicate that the problem of control and

prevention of stress at work is not so much related to fighting with
stress by all means but the competent and responsible stress
management and decrease in the likelihood of stress in distress.
127
Features of psychological stress
This kind of stress can be triggered not only through really effective
events but also probable ones that have not yet occurred but of
which the subject is afraid.
The importance of evaluation by a person of the degree of his/her
engagement in an active influence on the problem situation in order
to deactivate it.
The test question that makes it possible to differentiate varieties of

stress is as follows: Is the stressor obviously harmful to the organism?
If the answer is Yes, then that is a biological stress, if No, then it is a
psychological stress.
128
Behavioural
symptoms of a stress
Violations of a Changes of a Professional Violations of

psychomotility way of life violations social and role
functions
Excess tension Changes in the Reduced Increased

of muscles, mode of the productivity of conflict,
change of a day, sleep labour, increased
rhythm of breath increased aggressiveness
disorders
fatiguability , etc.
Unhealthy ways of coping with stress
129
Intellectual signs of stress
Attention
- The difficulty concentrating
- Increased distractibility
- Narrowing of attention
Thinking
- Paralogism
- Confused thinking
- Difficulty making decisions
- Frequent crashes in the computation
- Reduction of creative potential
Memory
- Deterioration of activity on-line storage
- Problems with playback information
Violation productivity professional activities are adding to overall stress.
Violation of intellectual activities make it difficult to find out of stress.
130
Physiological signs of stress
Subjectively determined changes
- laboured (heavy) breathing;
- heart pain;
- discomfort in the intestines, etc.
Objectively determine changes in separate systems of organs
- increased blood pressure;
- increased heart rate;
- change of vascular tone;
- excess muscle tension;
- violation of secretion of digestive glands, etc.
Violation of complex physiological functions
- increased fatiguability;
- decreased immunity;
- frequent ailments;
- rapid change of body weight, etc.
131
Emotional signs of stress
The change in the General emotional background
- the gloomy mood;
- a feeling of constant sadness, depression;
- increased anxiety.
Pronounced negative emotions
- irritability;
- fits of anger, bouts of aggression;
- the feeling of alienation, loneliness.
Change in the personality
- suspicion;
- low self-esteem;
- increased introversion
The emergence of neurotic States
- the anxious expectation neurosis;
- asthenic neurosis
132
Managing stress*
Stress Management is the ability to maintain control
when situations, people, and events make excessive demands.
Identify the sources of stress in your life

Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your
life. This isnt as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress arent
always obvious, and its all too easy to overlook your own stress-
inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits,
attitude, and excuses:
Do you explain away stress as temporary (I just have a million
things going on right now) even though you cant remember the last
time you took a breather?
* - http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm
133
Managing stress
Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life
(Things are always crazy around here) or as a part of your
personality (I have a lot of nervous energy, thats all).
Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view
it as entirely normal and unexceptional?
Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or
maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.
Start a Stress Journal

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life
and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep
track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see
patterns and common themes. Write down:
What caused your stress (make a guess if youre unsure)
How you felt, both physically and emotionally
How you acted in response
What you did to make yourself feel better
134
Look at how you currently cope with stress
Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in
your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them.
Unhealthy ways of coping with stress

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause
more damage in the long run:
Smoking
Drinking too much
Overeating or undereating
Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer
Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities
Using pills or drugs to relax
Sleeping too much
Procrastinating
135
Ways of coping with stress
Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems
Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts,
physical violence)
Learning healthier ways to manage stress
There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they
all require change. You can either change the situation or change your
reaction. When deciding which option to choose, its helpful to think of
the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no one
size fits all solution to managing it. No single method works for
everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques
and strategies.
Dealing with Stressful Situations: The Four As
Change the situation: Change your reaction:
- Avoid the stressor - Adapt to the stressor
- Alter the stressor - Accept the stressor
136
Stress management strategy 1: Avoid unnecessary
stress
Not all stress can be avoided, and its not healthy to avoid a situation
that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the
number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.
Learn how to say no Know your limits and stick to them. Whether
in your personal or professional life, taking on more than you can
handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
Avoid people who stress you out If someone consistently causes
stress in your life and you cant turn the relationship around, limit the
amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship
entirely.
Take control of your environment If the evening news makes you
anxious, turn the TV off. If traffics got you tense, take a longer but less-
traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your
grocery shopping online.
137
strategy 1: Avoid unnecessary stress
Avoid hot-button topics If you get upset over religion or politics,

cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about
the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse
yourself when its the topic of discussion.
Pare down your to-do list Analyze your schedule,
responsibilities, and daily tasks. If youve got too much on your
plate, distinguish between the shoulds and the musts. Drop tasks
that arent truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them
entirely.
138
Stress management strategy 2: Alter the situation
If you cant avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what
you can do to change things so the problem doesnt present itself in the
future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and
operate in your daily life.
Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something
or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an
open and respectful way. If you dont voice your feelings,
resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their
behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at
least a little, youll have a good chance of finding a happy middle
ground.
Be more assertive. Dont take a backseat in your own life. Deal
with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent
them. If youve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate
just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
139
strategy 2: Alter the situation
Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot
of stress. When youre stretched too thin and running behind, its
hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure
you dont overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress
youre under.
140
Stress management strategy 3: Adapt to the stressor
If you cant change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to
stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your
expectations and attitude.
Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more
positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it
as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio
station, or enjoy some alone time.
Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation.
Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in
a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer
is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of
avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding
perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and
learn to be okay with good enough.
141
strategy 3: Adapt to the stressor
Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a

moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life,
including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy
can help you keep things in perspective.
Adjusting Your Attitude

How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and
physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about
yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled
situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to
feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as "always,"
"never," "should," and "must." These are telltale marks of self-defeating
thoughts.
142
Ex.:The power of language*
Sit down face to face with a partner and looking him in the eye, say
three sentences, beginning each with the words "I should". Not
giving you feedback, the partner in turn will make three phrases,
each beginning with the words "I should".
* - Rudestam K.
143
Ex.:The power of language
Now go back to your sentences and replace the words "I should"
with "I prefer", keeping unchanged the other parts. Then listen to
the modified phrase in the claims of a partner. Share your
experiences.
Take turns with a partner say three phrases beginning with "I can't".
And then replace them with "I can't" to "I don't want", while
keeping other parts unchanged. Share with partners their
experience and see whether you can feel its ability to give up, and
not his incompetence or helplessness.
Take turns to say three sentences beginning with the words "I
need", and then replace "I need" with "I want". Share your
experiences and see if replacement is necessary, a desire for the
sense of freedom or relief. Is what you said, something really
essential for you or something that you would like, but without which
it can live.
144
Ex.:The power of language
Finally, take turns with a partner say three phrases beginning with
"I'm afraid that", and then change "I'm afraid that" with "I wish",
leaving the remaining parts of the sentences without change. Share
your feelings with your partner and see whether the fear interferes
with the achievement of important goals and purchasing experience.
145
Stress management strategy 4: Accept the things you
cant change
Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You cant prevent or
change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or
a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is
to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the
long run, its easier than railing against a situation you cant change.
Dont try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are

beyond our control particularly the behavior of other people.
Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can
control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
Look for the upside. As the saying goes, What doesnt kill us
makes us stronger. When facing major challenges, try to look at
them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices
contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from
your mistakes.
146
strategy 4: Accept the things you cant change
Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend face to face or make

an appointment with a therapist. The simple act of expressing what
youre going through can be very cathartic, even if theres nothing
you can do to alter the stressful situation. Opening up is not a sign of
weakness and it wont make you a burden to others. In fact, most
friends will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in
them, and it will only strengthen your bond.
Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world
and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and
resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and
moving on.
147
Stress management strategy 5: Make time for fun and
relaxation
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can
reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time
for fun and relaxation, youll be in a better place to handle lifes stressors.
Healthy ways to relax and recharge
Go for a walk.
Spend time in nature. Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
Call a good friend. Play with a pet.
Sweat out tension with a good Work in your garden.
workout. Get a massage.
Write in your journal. Curl up with a good book.
Take a long bath. Listen to music.
Light scented candles. Watch a comedy.
148
strategy 5: Make time for fun and relaxation
Dont get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget
to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a
luxury.
Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily
schedule. Dont allow other obligations to encroach. This is your
time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your
batteries.
Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who
enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the
negative effects of stress.
Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure
activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the
piano, or working on your bike.
Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at
yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a
number of ways.
149
Stress management strategy 6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle
You can increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your
physical health.
Exercise regularly . Physical activity plays a key role in reducing

and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30
minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic
exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.
Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to
cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right
with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with
balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and
sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By
reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar
snacks in your diet, youll feel more relaxed and youll sleep better.
150
strategy 6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle
Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol

or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is
only temporary. Dont avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with
problems head on and with a clear mind.
Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your
body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause
you to think irrationally.
151

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. .

2. It affects significant interests.

3. Conflict parties have an emotional experience.

4. Activity aimed at overcoming the contradictions.

Necessary and sufficient conditions for conflict

By a conflict we understand the most acute way to

So sometimes people seeking help in a conflict situation, wants to

- any communication (compared with its absence)

Adult: work with information, thinks, analyzes,

Parent: requires, estimates (condemned / approve),

Invite them to move into Natural Child (Free Child) by:

There are six ways of structuring time by

Berne identified dozens of games, noting that, regardless of when,

Intimacy as a way of structuring time allows one to exchange the

Experimental study of conflicts:

Human behavior is not determined by the situation itself but

Conflict is the result of the evaluation of a situation as a

everyone has an equal right to belong to their

2. Methods of research and The observation. Survey.

3. Methods of diagnosis and analysis The observation. Survey.

It is also worth mentioning more subjective components of

There are 2 forms of experiencing internal difficulties:

Patterns of personality in Type of intrapersonal conflict

+---- -----+ Moral (between want-must)

+---- -------------- -----+ Unfulfilled desire (inferiority complex)

+------ -----+ Adaptive (must-can)

+-------+ Inadequate self-esteem (can-can)

Can be two variants of situations:

The conflict of norms and rules of interaction (CNI) analogue of

(family, household, industrial, labor, political...).

Versions of the conflict Possible causes

Conflict between Mutual dependence on the task; the allocation of

Conflict between Violation of contractual obligations; competition for

Versions of the conflict Possible causes

Conflicts between informal groups in The opposite of spiritual interests,

2. The prevention Based on in-depth analysis of causes and factors of

The Definition of the Action as The real

Bruno: "Perception is already a decision.

The degree of distortion of perception of the conflict

Distortion of perception of the conflict situation in

Objective (A. Shipilov)

According to the statistics of industrial conflict conflict is the fault of:

On the another person

Collaborating skills include the ability to use active or effective listening,

Compromising skills include the ability to communicate and keep the

Accommodating skills include the ability to sacrifice, the ability to be

In the activities of bodies of state power about social

The signs of the peak of the conflict:

The main methods of the end of the conflict:

The rates Much Small

The interdependence of Zero-sum A positive amount

Management of the conflict process of control of the conflict by

prevention or stimulation of the conflict;

A special place in predicting conflict is an ongoing

In actual practice for management of conflicts it is important to consider the

1. The birth and development of Predicting, prevention/Stimulation

Conflict situation Avoiding

Negotiations often take the form of positional bargaining. In

Principled negotiation provides a better way of reaching good

These principles should be observed at each stage of the negotiation

The authors identify three basic sorts of people problems.

3) Communication is the third main source of people problems.

2. Good agreements focus on the parties' interests, rather

4. When interests are directly opposed, the parties should use