Pearls of Islam Reminder Series

Thicker than Water: Lessons in Mercy

and Thankfulness
By Nadiah Hashim-Arrifin
My family is crazy.
The constant drama of nosy aunties, the politics of
argumentative uncles, the annoyingness of sulky teenagers and
wailing babies; the cacophony that plagues any restaurant we
visit many a time being home feels like abuse on my senses.
But I cannot help but secretly miss this madness. Miss it, crave
it; and feel absolutely at home amidst it.
Proudly I will admit that my family does not function like
clockwork, were not the kind of people to front campaigns on
happy families, were hardly a yardstick for normal on many
accounts we have our issues, we have our problems; we
disagree, we argue, we ght. But we love.
In a Hadith narrated by Ibn Majah, on the authority of Abdullah
Ibn Abbas, the Prophet Muhammad SAW said, The best
person amongst you is the one who treats his family
members best. And I am the best amongst you to my
family. There is such wisdom in his teaching, SAW - how
easily do we become complacent, become forgetful, become
unaware almost of the way we treat our families; how easily do
we fall in the trap of taking advantage of them because we
know theyll love us back anyway?
Indeed our families are a true test of character, of Iman and
Taqwa to Allah SWT. It is not just encouraged but commanded
in Islam that we show kindness and gentleness to our families,
even more so when ties have soured and times are tough. Abu
Huraira reported that a man said: O Messenger of Allah!
Indeed, I have relatives with whom I try to relate but they cut me
off. I treat them well, but they treat me badly. I am forbearing
with them, but they are harsh with me. So the Prophet ()
said: If it is as you say, then it is as if you threw hot ashes
(i.e. they are earning sin), and there would always remain
with you (support) from Allah that will keep you prominent
over them as long as you adhere to this behavior. [Sahih
Muslim, Book 032, Number 6204]
'Umar (Radiyallahu Anhu) was heard to say, "Anyone who
does not show mercy will not be shown mercy. Anyone
who does not forgive will not be forgiven. Anyone who
does not turn in repentance will not be turned to nor will he
be protected or guarded." If the showing of mercy and
forgiveness ourselves grants us mercy and forgiveness from the
Almighty; a promise and reward far, far greater than any deal
made in this Dunya; why waste it on some petty argument, on
some small annoyance?
And just look at the lowliness of our nafs and our egos where
do we even get of being irritated, or angry at our mothers and
fathers when weve received more from them than we could
ever deserve? In every shape and form our families have
accepted us, supported us, cared for us; unceasingly,
regardless of our shortcomings and wrongdoings; and without
any expectation of recompense why can we not accord them
the same? Are we not thankful, when were thankful for
everything else? "Worship Allaah and associate nothing
with Him, and to parents do good..."[Quran 4:36] Why are
we not thankful when it is a command from Allah, when we
know that it only by the Mercy of Allah that we were gifted with
such beautiful families, and for that our thanks are due to Him?
How then do we claim to love Allah when we do not love what
He has given us? How do we claim to love the Messenger of
Allah when we do not strive to walk the same path he did in
appreciating his family?
Perhaps its time we took a good look at ourselves and took
stock of whats plainly in front of us. I did; and was shocked at
what I saw in myself. Our families are a huge opportunity for our
Nafs to be tamed; and our souls to be taught patience, mercy
and thankfulness; a vehicle for seeking Barakah in our lives.
Who knows how long weve got left to serve our parents and
our families; for many the time has come too soon, and for the
fortunate amongst us whose families are still around us, lets
not lose out on this chance to make changes and come closer
to the path of obedience to Allah and earning His pleasure.
May this reminder serve to speak rst to myself; and may Allah
SWT grant us all guidance and strength to be nicer, kinder, and
gentler with our families InshaAllah; for one day we too will be
parents, aunties and uncles, grandparents; hoping to be treated
better by the very people we love unconditionally.
And as I glanced back, handing over my passport to the airport
ofcial, onward to London, I noticed a sea of arms ailing madly
in the air waving goodbye, my father and grandmother leading
the pack with wide grins holding back tears - I am thankful for
crazy and wouldnt trade it for the world. Alhamdulillah.
"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except
Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both
of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so
much as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of irritation or
disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a
noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of
mercy and say: 'My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they
brought me up [when I was] small.'"[Quran 17:23-24]
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Pearls of Islam Reminder Series
You Are Never Alone

By Aamir Shamsi

Times will come in the life of a
believer where we will be tested in
this world whether it is through a
"loss in goods or lives or the fruits
(of your toils)" [2:155] but we must
always remember that we are
never alone and that we should
and need to turn to Allah in these
times.

Trials and tribulations can not only
change the course of your life but
also make you feel very down and
lost. Nothing remains the same
and although an oxymoron, those
who have been in such a situation
like I have will understand when I
say life can be consumed by
emptiness. Although it is
important to understand the many
reasons why calamities befall us
and how to cope with them, we
must never forget that we will
always have the one that loves us
more than a mother loves her
child (Muslim) close by to bring
some solace to our hearts. In
order to bring about this comfort
we must make du'a, build a
connection with Allah and believe
that everything that happens is for
the best.

'XD

Du'a is the weapon of the believer
for it can change the fate of our
lives. And it is for this reason, as
well as the fact that it shows our
need for Allah, that it is highly
encouraged in Islam. So we
should ask our Lord to alleviate
our pain, to make things easier
and to grant us peace and
happiness with His decree, even
though in some situations it is
extremely difficult to accept what
has happened and to want to
move on from it, for it is only He
that has the power to make things
better.

Connect with Allah

As the creation of Allah, we are all
connected with our Lord through
our souls. He is our provider, our
sustainer and our support. But it is
our responsibility to nourish this
connection for "Verily in the
remembrance of Allah, do hearts
find rest" [13:29]. We can do so by
reciting Quran, reading our salat
with concentration and regular
dhikr. The stronger our connection
with Allah the greater the comfort
our hearts will receive for it is then
when we truly feel Allah's
protection over us and this will
make the difficult times that much
easier for us.

Everything that happens is for
the best

Allah loves us so much that
everything that happens that is
not a direct result of our own
actions is for the best for us - "but
it may be that you hate a thing
which is good for you, and it may
be that you love a thing which is
bad for you. Allah knows and you
know not" [2:216]. Having this
belief at all times and being
thankful for all that comes your
way is a real test of our faith but
also an undeniable fact. If
adopted in our mindset it will ease
our pain for we will understand it
is for our best and so the true
believer would not want it any
other way than what Allah sees
best.

All the above can be summarised
with my favourite du'a that one
should regularly recite:
"Hasbunallahu Wa'Nimal Wakeel"
Allah is enough for me and
there is no better to look after me.



"When you feel all alone in this world
And there's nobody to count your tears
Just remember, no matter where you are
Allah knows, Allah knows"
- Nasheed by Zain Bhikha
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Monday 31st October 2011 4 Dhul - Hijjah 1432 Volume 4 Issue 1


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