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In honor of 4/20, and the colleges reputable history of absolutely appropriate responses, the Backdoor would like to make a final roast to LCs biggest daily threat: marijuana. We get it, LC, youre a real school! And real schools cant just let their students openly smoke weed once a year. Suuuure, marijuana laws are unfair, ridiculous and based on racist premises. But, as a liberal arts college, its the administrations duty to make sure our newly learned critical frameworks dont manifest in any unlawful civil disobedience. Thems the rules. Oooh, look at meee, Im marijuana. Im the fuuun guy at the party. I change peoples perspectives and can help treat caaaanncer. Big whoop. Marijuana is not a joke and there is nothing funny or acceptable about its use. ITS ILLEGAL. PERIOD. And everything thats illegal should be rejected without protest or question. You may as well be openly smoking crack, ya goddamned dirty-no-gooddruggie. Sorry, hippies, but if I wanted to support a bunch of youth at a dope-smoking fest, I would have bought a ticket to Bonnaroo. Go cry to your guitar about it. You know what would happen if the administration were to just look the other way and let us smoke weed at the flagpole? Chaos. Destruction. Anarchy. Whats next, theyre just gonna, what, turn the other cheek while students run naked through campus during Prospective Students weekend? Oh wait... So, screw you, marijuana (psh, if thats even your real name.) I hope you stay illegal forever.
You: Like playing with fire Me: Wouldnt mind playing Simon says. You: I want. Me: To be my tee-ni-nee-ni-nu. You: Looking for some action Me: Spring-into Action on April 21st You: Adorable badass on a bike Me: Diggin your sexy rain pants You: Blondie always on Facebook. Me: Willin to subscribe. You: With your friends at the movies. Me: Creepin in the dark.
You: Hat-wearin loud mouth. Me: Lets skip the anime and get to the lovin
Wanna mack on somebody in a public forum? Email a You Caught My Eye to piolog@gmail.com
The time has come where we, the Backdoor editors, must say goodbye to the Pioneer Log and goodbye to this fair school. So, if you fancy yourself a jokester and youd like to be the Backdoor editor next semester, please e-mail the Pioneer Log and apply (stuck-up prudes and weiners need not exert the effort). Well miss you sweetheart, Erin and Marcia
All farticles written in the Backdoor are jokes. Funny jokes. Dont take them seriously because they dont take you seriously. Seriously. Oh, wanna do a comic or shower us with compliments? Contact Erin Ruprecht or Marcia Belsky.