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Comment [JH3]: Things is not specific enough. Explain exactly what you mean!
Comment [JH5]: Not a very clear transition. Comment [JH6]: Again it is not clear enough, explain exactly what you mean. Comment [JH7]: Do what? Be specific.
out before you make a serious conclusion because this is your decision of being who you are in the future.
Belle, the content of your essay is great, as you have expressed yourself quite clearly. There are times when you can work on restructuring your ideas. There is a difference between the clarity of your first paragraph and the last. 8
- Your essay gives at least two clear reasons to support your opinion - It gives clear detail to explain each reason.
Organization is good, you have some great transition sentences between your paragraphs, keep working on this! - Your essay has a generally effective beginning, middle and end. - The presentation of ideas is usually smooth/logical. Paragraphs are generally well structured and include clear topic sentences as well as supporting sentences. Vocabulary- keep working on expanding your language - Your essay may have occasional errors in grammar, spelling and/or syntax that rarely hinder the communication of your ideas. - The vocabulary is mostly varied and appropriate. There is a consistent awareness of audience and the register used is appropriate.