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Its all a Swindle

Music: Mischa Spoliansky (1898-1985), Org. German lyrics: Marcellus Schiffer (18921932), English lyrics by Jeremy Lawrence from translations by Kathleen L. Komar Papa swindles, Mama swindles, Grandmama's a lying thief! We're perfectly shameless, but we're blameless, after all it's our belief! Nowadays the world is rotten, honesty has been forgotten. Fall in love but after kissing check your purse to see what's missing! Everyone swindles some, my son's a mooch and so's the pooch! Life's a swindle, yes, it's all a swindle, so get what you can, from your fellow man! Girls and boys today would rather steal than play, and we don't care. We tell them get your share! Life is short and greed's in season, all mankind has lost its reason. Life is good, knock on wood, knock, knock! Shops will swindle shoppers swindle, every purchase hides a tale. The price is inflated, or regulated to ensure the store will fail! Wheel and deal and pull a fast one; knowing you won't be the last one. Get the goods while they are going grab the cash while it is flowing! Everyone swindles some, what the heck go bounce a check! CHORUS Politicians, are magicians, who make swindles disappear! The bribes theyre taking, the deals they are making, never reach the public's ear. The left betrays, the right dismays; the country's broke and guess who pays? But tax each swindle in the making !

Profits will be record breaking! Everyone swindles some, so vote for who will steal for you! CHORUS

The Kleptomaniac
Music & Org. German lyrics: Friedrich Hollaender (1896-1976), English lyrics by Jeremey Lawrence Even as a little girl I had the itch. Mothers grocry money made my fingers twitch. Oh I took advantage of each famly chat, Daddys wallet I snatched in two seconds flat. Grandpas dentures came out with a tiny splat. There was not a single thing I wouldnt steal. Just the fact it wasnt mine was the appeal. And Id never ever ever call it quits. Useless stuff Id grab while I was on a blitz. I stole bras before I had a pair of tits. These desires from within would overcome me. O yummy, o yummy, o yummy. Oh, its so exciting, Oh, its so exciting! Everything I see I want for me. Ive got to have it, have it, have it, have it, have it, have it, have it, have it. But when Ive acquired. What I have desired. I lose interest in a flash. And I toss it in the trash. What excited me before - nows a bore. Im so driven Ill grab anything in sight. Big or small a Steinway grand would be just right. When Im caught its quite exciting but in vain. When I go to court I legally explain: Im not guilty cause Im legally insane! Anything I see can bring on an attack. Which makes me a crazy cockeyed maniac. I feel like my brain is burning up inside. I see a woman with her husband by her side. I yell: If you want to keep him, better hide! Im just helpless when those feelings overcome me. So yummy, so yummy, so yummy. O its so exciting...etc. Still I feel so empty.

New things always tempt me. I have special feelings for this thing called a department store. Everywhere I look I see ecstasy!

Tonight or never again


Music: Mischa Spoliansky, Org. German lyrics: Marcellus Schiffer, English lyrics by Adrienne Haan Tonight, or never again. I want to say to you I love you truly and then... Tonight, or never again. I want to ask you do you feel the same way and when... Tonight, or never again: I want to sing to you my love song until the end. So sweet and true till the end: tonight or never again. Since I have layn eyes on you. I couldnt believe it was true. Youre the only thing Im dreaming of by night and by day, too. Since I have layn eyes on you. Theres nothing so pure and so new. Yes I know my darling tonights the night: the stars will shine so bright! Etc.

They call me naughty Lola


Music: Friedrich Hollaender, Org. German lyrics: Friedrich Hollaender, Robert Liebmann (1890-1945), English lyrics by Sam Lerner Lola, Lola everybody knows me. Ask the first man you see, he knows how to find me. Lola, Lola all men fall into my net. They all want me to pet, there's a reason, you bet! CHORUS: They call me naughty Lola, the wisest girl on earth. At home my pianola, it works for all it's worth. The boys all love my music, I can't keep them away, so my little pianola keeps working night and day. CHORUS

Nannas Song
Music: Kurt Weill (1900-1959), Org. German lyrics: Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956), English lyrics by Leonard Lehrman Gentlemen, at seventeen

I went to market selling love. Much of life I had not seen. I took whatever came, for that was the game. Still, with some, it wasn't "hand-in-glove." After all, I'm only human, you know. God be praised, it's always over quickly, all that love, and the grief, and the fear. Where are the teardrops of only last night? Where are the snows of yesteryear? With the years you go more freely to the mart where love is sold; embracing whole batallions - really! It's not fun to do. Sure, it comes to you, but what you give will very soon run cold. After all, every supply runs out eventually. CHORUS Even though you learn your trade well, selling love by hook or crook. Even though your hand is played well, it's not fun to do. Sure, it comes to you, but it won't improve your youthful look. After all, were not getting any younger after all. CHORUS

When the special girlfriend


Music: Mischa Spoliansky, Org. German lyrics: Marcellus Schiffer, English lyrics by Jeremy Lawrence

When the special girlfriend, Meets her special grirlfriend, for a little shopping, shop to shop theyre hopping. Shopping without stopping. Theres no greater pleasure, than to shop together, and the special girlfriend tells her special grirlfriend: Youre my special girlfriend. Oh youre my favrite girlfriend, my sweet and pretty girlfriend. I trust in you my girlfriend,

to keep our secrets, girlfriend. When the special girlfriend, meets her special girlfriend, with great tenderness shell tell her friend shes special. Oh my special, oh my special girlfriend. So what does my special girlfriend say about that? Well, I can tell you only one thing...if I didnt have you, were getting on so well! Yes, were getting on so awfully well. Ahhh-huh! Its almost unbearable how well we get on together. Hmmm...yaaaa! Theres only one other person I get on so well with! Oh yes? Who? My sweet little man! Oh yes, youre sweet little man!

Oh my man, what a man, but a mans just a man. Still a man, with a Frau, when he can, sure knows how. Just last week her boyfriend had her in a whirl! That romance is over, shes dropped him for a girl! Well, your sweet man is a little pushy. Oh yes? Yes, absolutely! Why? How come? Well, he does these things! Ahhh...I dont approve of that at all! Well, come on, lets kiss and make up.(Kisses) Okay love, lets make up. (Kisses)

Just last week her boyfriend, etc. When the special girlfriend, meets her special girlfriend. With great tenderness, shell tell her friend shes special. Oh my special, oh my special girlfriend.

A little yearning
Music & Org. German lyrics: Friedrich Hollaender, English lyrics by Jeremy Lawrence from translations by Alan Lareau My days is grey, your day is grey.

Cant get the sun to shine. I think together me might break through the clouds if you put your hand in mine. We walk a road, its long and its hard. Were frightened by if we try. Well keep our minds filled up with beautiful dreams and build castles in the sky. Just a little yearning reminds one of happiness. Just a little yearning can fill the emptiness. Yearn for grey skies or a bit of sun. Makes no difference, doesnt evry one, Need a little yearning, a dream on with they can build. Just a yearning that wont be fullfilled. We fill our lives with little lies. We live a fantasy. Where youre a prince and Im a princess and all our stories end happily. Youre made of gold, Im made of gold, Our lifes a perfect pearl. Youre not the student in the attic and Im no longer the office girl. Just a little yearning, etc.

Peter, Peter
Music: Rudolf Nelson (1878-1960), Orig. German Text: Friedrich Hollaender, English lyrics by Jeremy Lawrence from translations by Alan Lareau Cant imagine why I chose to leave him. How could I have been so cruel? After all he loved me without question, still I left him like a fool. If I woke him late at night complaining: Im on my last cigarette. Hed say: Ill be over in a minute. Darling, please dont get upset. Peter, Peter, I must have been blind. Peter, Peter, I was so unkind. Peter, Peter, tell me what to do. Peter, Peter, Ill make it up to you. If I told him that Ive been unfaithful. He would shake his head and say: Darling, just as long as you are happy. Thats the man I threw away. Now whenever Im in bed with others. On some lark or idle whim. I pretend the man Im with is Peter, oh how my heart aches for him.

Peter, Peter, may I have this dance? Peter, Peter, give me one more chance. Peter, Peter, tell me what to do. Peter, Peter, Im still in love with you.

Irgendwo auf der Welt (Somewhere in the world)


Music: Werner Richard Heymann (1896-1961), German lyrics: Robert Gilbert (1899-1978) This song was written in 1932 and it voices a sentimental longing for a yet undiscovered place where peace of mind and true happiness can be found. I have decided not to translate this beautiful song into English but instead let the sentimentality of the music speak for itself. The song was originally performed by the Comedian Harmonists, who were an internationally famous, all-male German close harmony ensemble that performed between 1928 and 1934 as one of the most successful musical groups in Europe before World War II. The group's success continued into the early 1930s, but eventually ran into trouble with the Nazi regime: three of the group members were Jewish or of Jewish descent who fled Germany. The group's last concert was in Hannover Germany - on March 25, 1934. For more information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedian_Harmonists Irgendwo auf der Welt gibts ein kleines bisschen Glck, und ich trum davon in jedem Augenblick. Irgendwo auf der Welt gibts ein bisschen Seligkeit, und ich trum davon schon lange, lange Zeit. Wenn ich wt, wo das ist, ging ich in die Welt hinein, denn ich mcht einmal recht, so von Herzen glcklich sein. Irgendwo auf der Welt fngt mein Weg zum Himmel an; irgendwo, irgendwie, irgendwann. Ich hab so Sehnsucht, ich trum so oft; einst wird das Glck mir nah sein. Ich hab so Sehnsucht, ich hab gehofft, bald wird die Stunde da sein. Tage und Nchte wart ich darauf: Ich geb die Hoffnung niemals auf. Etc.

Blonde women
Music & Org. German lyrics: Friedrich Hollaender, English lyrics by Sam Lerner Youll try in vain, you cant explain, the charming, alarming blonde women. They fascinate, they captivate, beware the amazing blonde women. Be careful when you meet the sweet blonde stranger. You may not know it but youre greeting danger. Youll try in vain, you cant explain, the charming, alarming blonde women.

You walk through all of my dreams


Music & Org. German lyrics: Peter Kreuder (1905-1981), English lyrics by Adrienne Haan You walk through all of my dreams, dear. And when you look at me, I feel how much my heart grows strong for you so tenderly. You walk through all of my dreams, dear. And take at night away, my longing for you that is torturing me in the day. When I awake I m determined to say: darling, todays the day: I love you so, oh yes, I do, promise me that youll stay. You walk through all of my dreams, dear. So wonderful and true, oh how much I wish that it was forever me and you. All I want on earth is to be happy, pure and true! My happiness depends on you. Oh yes, you are mine, I feel the sunshine warm and bright. All I can say is you are my light. You walk through all of my dreams, dear. I hope that finally, all of my dreams one day will soon become reality.

Pirate Jenny
Music: Kurt Weill, Org. German lyrics: Bertolt Brecht, English lyrics by Marc Blitzstein Gentlemen, today youll watch me scrubbin the floors and Ill make the beds for everyone, I promise! Once upon a time there lived a girl in this joint, you can actually say, she also worked here, and she had a plan. And her name was: Pirate Jenny. You people you can watch me scrubbing these floors, and I'm scrubbin' the floors while you're gawking. And maybe ya tip me and it makes ya feel swell, in this crummy Southern town, in this crummy old hotel. But you'll never guess to who you're talkin'. No. You couldn't ever guess to who you're talkin'. Suddenly one night there's a scream in the night. And you'll wonder what the hell could that have been? And you see me kinda grinnin' while I'm scrubbin'!

And you say, "What's she got to grin?" There's a ship, The Black Freighter. With a skull on its masthead, will be coming in You gentlemen can say, "Hey gal, finish them floors! Get upstairs! Make the beds to earn your keep here! And you toss me your tips, and look out to the ships But I'm counting your heads, as I'm making the beds. Cuz there's nobody gonna sleep here, honey. Tonight, none of you is gonna sleep in this cheap hotel. Then one night, theres a scream in the night! And you say whos that kickin up a row? And ya see me kinda starin out the winda. And ye say : whats she got to stare at now? Theres a ship: the black Freighter. Turns around in the harbor. Shootin guns from her bow. Oh yes, gentlemen, and now the story is almost over, but this time, you cant expect a happy ending! By noontime the dock is a-swarmin' with men, comin' out from the ghostly freighter. They move in the shadows where no one can see, and they're chainin' up people and they're bringin' em to me. Askin' me, "Kill them NOW, or LATER?"? Askin' ME! "Kill them now, or later?" Noon by the clock, and so still on the docks! You can hear a foghorn miles away. And in that quiet of death youll here me say, "Right now! And when the heads are rolling youll hear me say: Oups-y! And the ship, a black Freighter. Disappears out to sea, and on it is me.

I dont know who I belong to


Music & Org. German lyrics: Friedrich Hollaender, Robert Liebmann, English lyrics by Jeremy Lawrence from translations by Kathleen L. Komar

One man has hands that are tender. One mans incredibly strong. To which one should I surrender? My choice is bound to be wrong! I might find my ideal lover, If I search both, far and wide. Once found I know Ill discover: That Im still not satisfied. I dont know if Ill find the one I belong to or if thats who I long to find. Some people seek one love to last for a lifetime But thats not what I have in mind. The sun and stars dont only shine on one man, they shine on whomevers their pleasure, their light is their own. And like them I dont need anyone, I belong to myself, Ill be fine on my own. Some say that love is for always. I say that loves always new. God-sent or sought out in hallways. Loves fun but loves never true. Im not about to be faithful. I lost all I had yesterday. Now I intend to be playful. Lifes less disppointing that way. I dont know...etc...

A little Attila
Music: Rudolf Nelson, Org. German lyrics: Kurt Tucholsky (1890-1935), English lyrics by Jeremy Lawrence from translations by Kathleen L. Komar Long ago there lived a mighty conqueror. Who savagely set all of Europe aflame. His approach struck terror in the hearts of men, But womens hearts leapt up each time they heard his name. They say he wasnt a man of great statue or looks or smarts. But he broke armies and navies and empires and womens hearts. And while the men would quake evry woman from whore to nun. Just kneeled and prayed for the raid of Attila, the Hun! Yes I could use a little touch of Attila, such a Hun! From time to time a hit of him, a bit of him is fun. But nothing more coz hes a bore and furthermore hes crude. Hes selfish and oblivious, lascivious and lewd.

But just as hes been know to take a piece of cake with tea. When love gets too vanilla why Attilas who I see. Least thats the man I fantasise, the man I idealise. A cute little brute who knows how to shoot, my Attila, my Hun! Nowadays, there are no mighty conquerors, dont bother looking for a lover like that! You can find a banker or a gerneral, one will be bald and one tremendously fat! The younger men come and go and we all know they come to soon! Older men treat and are sweet and theyre soft as a macaroon. Oh yes, Ive looked high and low throughout each part of Germany. But oh, no cock ever crowed loud enough for me. There are no more Attilas here amongs these dreary men. The warrior from days of yore will not appear again. I dont need a flottila or a villa by the sea. But oh for a scintilla of some hot virility. But look around whats to be found is pitiful oi vey, Oh Id kill to be marryin a barbarian today. So I retreat to fantasy, for there I have the man for me. A cute little brute who knows how to shoot, My Attila, my Hun!

I am a Vamp!
Music: Mischa Spoliansky, Org. German lyrics: Marcellus Schiffer, English lyrics by Jeremy Lawrence from translations by Alan Lareau My bed belonged to Pompadour, like Lulu I have bright red hair. I dance as well as Salom, and treat my Babtists just as fair. I wear Mata Haris dress, the ring of Marie Antoinette. The fairest Helen wore her corset to a gala trojan fete. I am the poisan of the Borgias, Im a witch like Joan of Ark. I wear the stockings of Dubarry, bathe in coffins for a lark. CHORUS: I am a vamp, I am a vamp, half woman, half beast! I bite my men and suck them dry. And then I bake them in a pie. I am a vamp, I am a vamp,

thats all I can do! Im not mild - mannered like you, and oh no, oh no! My passion takes over and off I go. I should really be kept in a zoo. All thats wild and weird and crazy I have been known to collect. I have Klemperers piano and the cap of Bertolt Brecht. Ive got Mata Haris secrets, Wally Simpsons amethyst. In a frame up on my wall, hangs a Valentino kiss. Its true that some of my collections I have found in others trash: Like the Weimar Constitution, also Hitlers first moustach. CHORUS I have a prince to write my letters, evry servant is a count. At the stables King Alfonso helps me get astride my mount. Thomas Mann gives me a facial using Garbos beauty creams. Im sung to sleep my Richard Tauber, the Prince of Wales is in my dreams. Today Von Sternberg called and offered me a stunning leading role: Once Im a star hell start to worship me and then Ill eat him whole. CHORUS

Falling in love again


Music & Org. German lyrics: Friedirch Hollaender, English lyrics by Sam Lerner Ein rtselhafter Schimmer, Ein "je ne sais-pas-quoi" Liegt in den Augen immer Bei einer schnen Frau. Doch wenn sich meine Augen Ganz tief in seine saugen Was sprechen dann sie? Falling in love again, never wanted to. What am I to do? I can't help it.

Love's always been my game, play it how I may. I was born that way. I can't help it. Men cluster to me like moths around a flame. And if their wings burn, I know I'm not to blame. Falling in love again, never wanted to. What am I to do? I can't help it.

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