The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of his desires by physical restrictions. We use baby gates, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, as well as brief commands ("NO!" "indeed !"). We carefully watch the young child; monitoring what he or she sees, where he will go, and with whom he associates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose of protecting the child through himself - from his own desire to seek his own may prior to an age whenever he has knowledge, self-discipline, a fear of the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to avoid that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:3 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Prov. Twenty two :15a Having foolishness in his heart, he is likely to behave the part of a fool - a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that their heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he or she constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. There is nothing more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover himself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitful above all points, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of their "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless at controlling his own desires; and the fleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather than observed to contain no good thing. Rom. 7:18 As a parent, you must protect him from his own worst enemy - his flesh, and two other predatory enemies -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the time to train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As a parent, you must become an external boundary that restricts the fleshly nature of the kid until the time that he has established inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside barriers must remain well beyond the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the actual speech and actions (that arise from the thoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the outer world and his body's desires increases, and the pull of the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is every indication in the Bible which God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:five ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to present his body as a residing sacrifice (Rom. 12:one ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in many Christian schools the drawbacks (peer influence, poor self-discipline, poor spiritual environment, etc.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are the ones that greatly help to construct mental and physical selfdiscipline, and should end up being seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a school is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to provide books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The hold off of the physical gratification/needs of walking about, bathroom split, water, etc. 3. The actual delay of the physical gratification of eating (only from lunch). 4. The refusal of the desire to speak in order to concentrate on work.

5. The denial of the desire to speak so as to help others work. 6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate during group work. 7. Assignments totally dictated by the teacher. 8. The denial associated with comfort to one's body (sitting upright on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (vs. Clutter, toys available, etc.). 10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time in between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the to the outside barriers to speech as well as behavior, should, by the teenage years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:24 ); not only in the sense of Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to save him from eternal death in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has realized that outward control (nevertheless some barriers and discipline, but much more guidance) combined with his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his skin under control. He must eventually recognize that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do right - especially in regard to emotions and sexual desires. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which is good we find not. Romans seven :18 Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled within speech, thoughts, and actions must now be directed toward one who is able to help from within his heart. If, having accomplished this during the teenage many years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower from the enemy. Psalms 61:3 The LORD is my personal strength and my shield ; my heart trusted within him, and I am helped : therefore my heart significantly rejoiceth; and with my tune will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trusted in his parents, a teenager should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yea,I will uphold thee using the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not on to [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, his flesh, and the devil), and the external barrier to that which he desires to do that would develop poor habits and, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for today as a slave to his flesh. Parents must continuously be alert for opportunities to direct the mind toward a structured, Biblically-based, inner control of thoughts, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I maybe have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your child from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of this globe. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they may have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of it are the

problems of life. Prov. Four :23 "Keeping" a child's heart is the parents' obligation ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized thoughts when they reflect wishes of the flesh. For because he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. 23 :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:6,7 Is. 30:20,21 5. Point out good examples leading to success and failure - from the bible and from life. Now all these things happened on to them for ensamples: plus they are written for our admonition, on whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from topics, poems, songs, etc. Your child's education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in training has its place, but diligent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier associated with Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involve turmoil with the fleshly nature of your child. 2. Train your child to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time instruction him to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your foe the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you perform on the training of bodily discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, simply because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in knowledge and stature, and in favor with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent obstacles to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when told the first time! It is poor training to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed obedience (calling several times, counting to 10, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for achievement (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is short, and the times are evil! Ep. 5 :16 You have a brief chance (which is sharply reduced at the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the psychological "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a child with little self-discipline. If you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," a person and he will pay a expensive price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the future grownup. View all training as preparation for future service for the Lord. Train a child to become a useful servant of the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parents'

responsibility, and is not to be delegated to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parents have a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are ignoring character building while concentrating on child-centered academics. It will be difficult to place a hurdle around your child's fleshly nature. Each child will be different; many will put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do tend to be, perhaps, being prepared for a more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these types of children in their preparation by using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guard as well as indulge in poor character, always remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in modification and discipline. Train up a child in the way he is going : and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the actual rewards of careful attendance to character building are wonderful ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 you'll be able to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build a good inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the actual Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to teach to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me personally : I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for power and direction (recognizing that help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not really unto thine own understanding . Prov. 3:5 o LORD, I know that the way of man is not in themself : it is not in man which walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To become accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:2 2. To understand to wait to speak. James 1 :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. One Thes. 2:4 4. To learn to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. 34 :13 Prov. 13:three ; 21:23 5. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without distress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:two,3 8. To learn to perform unpleasant habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27 10. To keep thyself pure. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8 11. To keep rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28

12. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or physical desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to utilize no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek one's own will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To rely upon the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not on to thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings 18 :21 20. To give up a freedom so as not to offend another person. One Cor.8:13 21. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined mind Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:5 22. To continue in work despite personal physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :27 23. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's individual name and family title (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and self-discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:10 27. In order to cooperate with the needs associated with others - to acknowledge his needs for the advantage of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly worth system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:thirty-three Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. 1 Peter 2:18 30. To develop a mental alertness. One Peter 5:8 31. To be able to refuse negative peer pressure. Former mate. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the actual son of David, full of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, as well as equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not go away from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence against an evil work is not really executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them to do evil. Ec. 8:eleven Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the fishing rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it fulfill, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13 Implementing Goals For every goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to see your goal accomplished. Follow the design of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING. SAMPLE: Goal #1: self discipline is needed to be accountable for using time. Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of period. Be on time

to church, appointments, class, etc. Do not waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to become done without stopping to experience or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done without wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (old enough to easily tell the time and own a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without being told), get up on time (with the use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an hired time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value of time - how to use it sensibly, how to plan ahead, and how to function to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your son or daughter know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted! discipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (take time off from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He which spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the obligation to do that which was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the joys of sin were allowed without any unpleasant consequences. In the event that unpleasant consequences are not arranged by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will come once the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we would also refer to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for this is God which worketh in you both to may and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13 Jeremiah 29