Speech A-Speech 9 Errors

9 Errors that Cause Taiwanese Research Papers to be Rejected
Dr Steve Wallace
Introduction I t d ti
Teach at NCTU, NTHU and ITRI technical writing teacher
and editor- Watched rejection editorj Written 13 textbooks used in 28 universities, including: How to write and submit your paper in 18 weeks: a textbook for Taiwanese academic writers writers : : works with 86 Colleges, Universities and Research Institutes. Over 4,300 papers U i iti dR h I tit t O 4 300 edited Collected Reviewers and Editors Comments - Research researchers
The P bli ti Ch ll Th Publication Challenge

Consider the following statistic:
The chance that a typical paper
of average quality will get a favorable recommendation from both referees is about 11% (= 1/9).
- 1993 APS OBSERVER newsletter a publication of the American Psychological Society newsletter, Society.
What Causes Rejection of Taiwanese Papers?

The little things Editor, Journal of Retailing. Maybe there are some good ideas in the Maybe
paper, but after a couple pages with mistakes, mistakes I just dont care Demons that attack good ideas g House model of paper preparation
English E li h as a reason for rejection f j ti

1) Double the number of articles
submitted as ten years ago b itt d t 2) Same number o journals ) Sa e u be of jou a s 3) Some editors simply reject papers that are too poorly written to send for review review. They have many other options
Reasons for major revision or rejection of Taiwanese journal papers

Faulty methodology Inadequate references
7%
Poor quality supporting figures Outside the scope of journal Not enough contribution to field Authors did not follow manuscript instructions Poor writing style and use of English Title not representative of study Subject of little novel interest or not generally applicable li bl Poorly written discussion
7%
4% 9%
16%
2%
7%
8% English Errors 27%
13%
Writing Errors that Cause Revision and Rejection
Redundancy Verb Tense V bT Passive Voice Errors Weak Verbs Verb Agreement O tt g co pa so s Omitting comparisons Clear Pronouns "It" and "There" Noun Verb issues 4% 4% 11%
15%
17%
13%
7% 13%
16%
Passive Voice Errors P i V i E

Generally, I think you could
improve the whole paper by using i th h l b i more active voice sentences. It will improve the flow and allow the reader to follow your meaning. meaning. 1st Reviewer, Journal of Hydrology
IEEE G id li Guidelines
If you wish, you may write in the first
person singular or plural and use the i l l l d th active voice. Remember to check spelling. If your native language is not English, please get a native English-speaking Englishcolleague to proofread your paper.
Symposia Frank Anderson, Sam B. Niles, Jr., and Theodore C. Donald, Member, IEEE
Template for Preparation of Papers for IEEE Sponsored Conferences & p p p p
IEEE Software A th G id li S ft Author Guidelines

Use active instead of passive voice and
straightforward d l ti sentences. t i htf d declarative t
http://www.computer.org/portal/web/peerreviewmagazines/acsoftware
AMA Manual of Style

recommends that:
In general, authors should use the
active voice, except i instances in which ti i t in i t i hi h the author is unknown or the interest focuses on what is acted upon.
AMA Manual of Style: A Guide for Authors and Editors. 10th ed. New York, NY: Oxford University
Press; 2007.
The Journal of Trauma and Dissociation:

"Use the active voice whenever
possible: We will ask authors that rely heavily on use of the passive voice to rere-write manuscripts in the active voice. i
Guidelines for authors. International Society for the Study of Trauma Web site: The Journal of Trauma & Dissociation. http://www.isst-d.org/jtd/journal-trauma-dissociation-info-for-authors.htm. http://www.isst-d.org/jtd/journal-trauma-dissociation-info-forp // g/j /j Accessed March 5, 2009.
Ophthalmology O hth l l
"Active voice is much preferred to passive voice,
which should be used sparingly....Passive sparingly Passive voice...does not relieve the author of direct responsibility for observations, opinions, or observations opinions conclusions (e.g., 'The problem of blood flow was investigated ' vs 'We investigated the investigated... vs. We problem of blood flow...').
Guide for authors. Elsevier Web site: Ophthalmology: Journal of the American Academy of Ophthalmology. p gy y p gy http://www.elsevier.com/wps/find/journaldescription.cws_home/620418/authorinstructions. Accessed March 5, 2009.
The Journal of N Th J l f Neuroscience i

"Overuse of the passive voice is a common
problem in writing Although the passive has its writing. place placefor example, in the Methods sectionin section many instances it makes the manuscript dull by failing to identify the author's role in the research....Use direct, activeresearch Use direct active-voice sentences sentences.
Westbrook G, Cooper L. Writing tips: Techniques for clear scientific writing and editing. The Society for Neuroscience Web site:The Journal of Neuroscience. http://www.jneurosci.org. Accessed March 5, 2009.
British Medical Journal B iti h M di l J l

"Please write in a clear, direct, and active
The essentials of BMJ style. BMJ Publishing Group Web site: British Medical Journal. http://resources.bmj.com/bmj/authors/bmj-househttp://resources.bmj.com/bmj/authors/bmj-house-style. Accessed March 5, 2009.
style....Write in the active [voice] and use t l W it i th ti [ i ] d the first person where necessary.
The Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association (APA) has similar advice:
"Prefer the active voice....The passive
voice is acceptable in expository writing i i t bl i it iti and when you want to focus on the object or recipient of the action rather than on the actor. actor.
Psychological Association (5th ed.). Washington, DC: Author.
American Psychological Association. (2001). Publication Manual of the American
Science S i
"Use active voice when suitable,
particularly when necessary for correct ti l l h f t syntax.

http://www.sciencemag.org/about/authors/prep/res/style.dtl. Accessed March 4, 2009.
Behavioral Ecology B h i lE l
Active voice is preferable to
Instructions to authors. Oxford Journals Web site: Behavioral Ecology.
the impersonal passive voice.

http://www.oxfordjournals.org/our_journals/beheco/for_authors/general.html. Accessed March 5, 2009.
Nature N t
"Nature journals like authors to write in
the ti th active voice as experience has shown i i h h that readers find concepts and results to be conveyed more clearly if written directly. directly.
Accessed March 4, 2009.
How to write a paper: writing for a Nature journal. Nature Publishing Group Web site: Nature. http://www.nature.com/authors/author_services/how_write.html. http://www.nature.com/authors/author_services/how_write.html.
Cautions about the active voice C ti b t th ti i

When can we use the passive voice? In the Methods sections or when we dont know who completed the don t
action or when we dont care Dont use the personal pronoun (I, we) Don t Use Research, Study, Paper,
How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

ous g, adequate yg e e a d housing, inadequate hygiene and large families as the major causes of poverty was made by Jones (2005) (2005). Jones (2005) identified poor food, bad housing, inadequate hygiene and g j large families as the major causes of poverty.
Identification of poor food, bad

Control of the bearing-oil supply is bearingp o ded provided by t e s uto valves the shutoff a es Shutoff values control the bearingbearingoil supply

Leaking of the seals is prevented by the use of O-rings t e o O- gs O-rings prevent the seals from leaking

FuelFuel-cost savings were realized t oug the sta at o o t e a through t e installation of thermal insulation The installation of thermal insualtion cut fuel costs

Consideration of whether countries C id ti f h th t i work well on cross-border issues crosssuch as i h immigration is undertaken by i i i d k b Raul (2007). Raul (2007) considered whether countries work well on cross-border crossissues such as immigration.

Modification of the model was made
by Jo so ( 00 ) to reduce Color Johnson (2007) educe Co o Breakup (CBU). Johnson (2007) modified the model to reduce Color Breakup (CBU).

Statistical analysis is performed in
on display quality. This study statistically analyzes how CBU influences display quality.
t s this study on t e influences of CBU o the ue ces o C U
Noun to verb change corrections

It seems that many of your errors
co e o your using ou s stead come from you us g nouns instead of verbs. This makes your sentences longer because you need additional meaningless verbs to complete them. A th Associate Editor, Journal of i t Edit J l f Retailing

Improvement of the system is achieved by variation o t e co t o frequencies . a at o of the control eque c es
Varying the control frequencies

p y improves the system.

English language has become so g s a guage as beco e important was made by Thompson (2006). Thompson (2006) enumerated three reasons why the English language has become so important.
Enumeration of three reasons why the

A slight increase occurred in the pe o a ce ate performance rate.
The performance rate slightly

increased.

Discussion of the challenges and strategies for facilitation and promotion of ERP is o ac tat o a d p o ot o o s performed by Smith (2007). Smith (2007) discussed the
challenges and strategies for facilitating and promoting ERP.
Creating strong verbs C ti t b

Another suggestion for your paper
s d at e ed to ep is to find a native editor to help you with your verb use. Strong verbs move sentences. Helping verbs often sentences confuse the reader in your technical descriptions. R i d i ti Reviewer, Journal of J l f Technology Management

Smith (2003) asked the question as to whether co e t o a methods p o de t e et e conventional et ods provide the best environment for execution. Smith (2003) questioned whether conventional methods provide the best environment for execution.

This article made a comparison of
se e a scenario ode g sequences several sce a o modeling seque ces in order to ensure market competitiveness. This article compared several scenario modeling sequences to ensure market competitiveness.

Rao (2008) made use of examples of these a ous tec ques e de ce that various techniques as evidence t at innovation continues. Rao (2008) used examples of these various techniques as evidence that innovation continues.
Avoid starting sentences with the words, It and There.

Your sentences are too long,
espec a y you especially your methods section! Try et ods sect o y cutting them into individual units of complete thought instead of stringing together thoughts without stopping for breath. R i t i f b th Reviewer, Journal of Water Resource Management

It is vital that quantitative measures use u y supp e e t a d e te d qualitative usefully supplement and extend qua tat e analysis. Quantitative measures must usefully supplement and extend qualitative analysis.

It is necessary that the best method to adopt for this investigation is to o t s est gat o s determined by the committee. The committee must decide the best method to adopt for this investigation.

It is imperative that scheduling of the work s ts shifts be do e by t e sect o supe so done the section supervisor. The section supervisor must schedule the work shifts. shifts

It is crucial that assessment of the control st ategy strategy be pe o ed by t e s te performed the site manager.
The site manager must assess the g

control strategy.
Use pronouns clearly (they, which, them, this, it, he, she, etc.)
Line 12 on page 3 of your paper is
an example of your ongoing problem l f i bl using pronouns clearly. There are at least 3 different nouns it could refer to. You must make your pronoun references clear! -3rd Reviewer, Reviewer IEEE Transactions on Advanced Packaging

The study design significantly affected the
analysis of X. This indicates that Y can be modified based on C. The study design significantly affected the y g g y analysis of X. This ( finding, observation, p phenomenon) indicates that Y can be modified ) based on C.

In most previous studies, they do not
co s de the effect of on consider t e e ect o X o Y. Most previous studies do not consider the effect of X on Y Y.

In most recent studies, they measure X in four different ways ou d e e t ays Most recent studies measure X in four different ways .
Deleting redundancy and extra words

The whole paper should be shorter.
a co de t t at cou d I am confident that you could say everything you need to in 30% less space. space Reviewer IEEE Journal of Reviewer, Engineering Management

It may be said that there are not fewer than o e explanation which cou d e p a t a one e p a at o c could explain
this result. There are several possible explanations for this result.

The current study was unable, insofar as e could determine, to a a y e t ese e analyze these we cou d dete variables. The current study was unable to analyze these variables.

It is the systems analyst who makes a
dete determination o t e quest o as to at o of the question whether the program should be implemented. implemented The systems analyst determines whether to implement the program.

It may be said that systems have the
ab ty ability to incorporate types o equipment co po ate of equ p e t in order that the user is in a position to
interact with the system system. Systems can incorporate equipment so that the user can interact with the system.
Two concerns as a technical writer T t h i l it

Short
If the meaning stays the same
Clear
English has shades of meaning Th Thesaurus
Short
A SENTENCE SHOULD CONTAIN NO UNNECESSARY WORDS, WORDS A PARAGRAPH NO UNNECESSARY SENTENCES, FOR THE SAME REASON THAT A DRAWING SHOULD HAVE NO UNNECESSARY LINES AND A MACHINE NO UNNECESSARY PARTS. PARTS. - WILLIAM STRUNK, JR.
Examples of redundant phrases that can be simplified
Specific examples of redundancy
the question as to whether
What would be a better substitute word?
serves the function of is
What would be a better h ld b b substitute word?
reach a conclusion conclude
What Wh t would be a better ld b b tt substitute word?
put an end to end
provided that if
prior to before
What would be a better substitute word? b tit t d?
subsequent to after
in view of the fact that because, since because
in large measure largely
is in excess of exceeds surpasses exceeds,
in case if
after the conclusion of after
notwithstanding the fact that although
manner in which how
make inquiry regarding ask about inquire about about,
it is possible that may might could can may, might, could,
is found to be is
is capable of can
in this case h here
in some cases occasionally
in no case never
in all cases always
in most cases generally
in many cases often
in close proximity to near
in a number of several many several,
if conditions are such that if
What Wh t would be a better ld b b tt substitute word?
happens to be am/is/are
give indication of indicate/suggest
give consideration to consider
for this reason since, because
for the reason that so
for the purpose of for to for,
during the time that while
due to the fact that because, since because
despite the fact that although
come to a conclusion conclude
by means of by
be deficient of lack
at this point in time now
at the present time now
at such time as when
ascertain the location of find
a majority of most
Examples of general words which can be made precise
Clear
IF YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN SOMETHING SIMPLY, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT WELL. - ALBERT EINSTEIN
What is a more precise word? d?
agree correlate with, correspond to with
What i a more precise word? h t is i d?
carry out implement execute, promulgate implement, execute
Wh is a more precise hat word?
change modify, adjust, alter, vary
What is a more precise word?
consider evaluate, assess
What is a more precise word?
correct/incorrect precise/imprecise,
accurate/inaccurate
find obtain derive attain, locate obtain, derive, attain locate,

identify y
help assist, facilitate guide direct assist facilitate, guide,
important critical crucial, essential, pertinent critical, crucial essential pertinent,

relevant, significant, vital , g ,
little, few slightly seldom, negligibly slightly, seldom
problem obstacle, limitation, restriction, b l li i i i i

shortcoming, drawback, issue shortcoming drawback
way method means approach strategy method, means, approach,
figure out distinguish differentiate distinguish, differentiate,

discriminate, identify
suitable appropriate, adequate appropriate
tries attempts aims aspires attempts, aims,
usually normally, typically, generally
very highly, rather, quite extremely highly rather quite,
whole complete entire, comprehensive complete, entire
make clear elucidate clarify elucidate,
Verb tenses in different sections of the paper

Your discussion section changes
verb tense often. Sometimes you e b te se o te So et es change several times within a sentence. sentence It makes it difficult to understand what has been done and what you are still planning to do h t till l i t d Reviewer, IEEE Signal Processing Letters

All studies described as using the X p ocedu e a e c uded t e analysis. procedure are included in the a a ys s All studies described as using the X procedure were included in the analysis. analysis

X will be synthesized using the same et od that as detailed o , using CO2 method t at was deta ed for Y, us g CO X was synthesized using the same method that was detailed for Y using CO2 Y, CO2.

Concentrations of these compounds s o show no dependence o te pe atu e a d o depe de ce on temperature and remained at a stable level Concentrations of these compounds showed no dependence on temperature and remained at a stable level. .
Omitting comparisons O itti i

Line 20 of page 2 should read, The
a ce depa t e t ocuses o finance department focuses on profits more than the accounting department does. -1st Reviewer does Reviewer, Finance Review

Th finance department f The fi d t t focuses on
profits more than the accounting department. department.
The finance department focuses on

profits more than the accounting department does.

Country A funds high tech innovation more than Country B. t a Cou t y Country A funds high tech innovation more than Country B does.

The leachate fingerprint from the river
as compared the a d was co pa ed to t e landfill.
The leachate fingerprint from the river
p was compared with that from the landfill.

The device formulated in this experiment has higher luminance. as g e u a ce The device formulated in this experiment has higher luminance than conventional models.

Reactions with NaO-t-Bu were faster
Reactions with NaO-t-Bu were faster

than those with LiO-t-Bu
Remember: R b
Relative terms, such as more, higher and
greater, require a reference f t i f for comparison and do not make sense alone
Subject and verb agreement S bj t d b t

Read the submission guidelines!
g s should checked st English s ou d be c ec ed first! There are many basic errors that should have been corrected throughout this paper. Reviewer, IEEE Transactions on Visualization and T ti Vi li ti d Computer Graphics

This paper seek to address the following quest o s questions: This paper seeks to address the following questions:

Th recent innovations iin imaging techniques, The ti ti i i t h i
MRI in particular, has facilitated the diagnosis of spine osteomyelitis. i t liti
The recent innovations in imaging techniques,

MRI in particular, have facilitated the diagnosis p , g of spine osteomyelitis.

However, there have been no controlled studies which compares differences in X stud es c co pa es d e e ces and Y. However there have been no controlled However, studies which compare differences in X and Y.

The ratio of positive cells per 1000 cells
e e de ed the positivity de were defined as t e pos t ty index.
The ratio of positive cells per 1000 cells

p y was defined as the positivity index.
The Nine Taiwanese Writing Errors (60% of all errors made)

Passive Voice Errors NounNoun-Verb Errors Weak Verbs It and There It There Clear Pronouns Redundancy Omitting Comparisons Verb Tense Verb Agreement
One more error: Criticizing References

I think that the author knows his subject
better than I do I usually use his references to do. find a suitable reviewer - Associate Editor, reviewer
Journal of Retailing Dont emphasize the importance of your paper Don by tti down on other papers. Your b putting d th Y references are probably your reviewers and they are sensitive. When citing other papers avoid iti Wh iti th id using negative terms.
Your research area i small. Y h is ll

It is very likely that either your reference
o o e of s e ds or one o his friends will be you reviewer. your e e e Rejected for Poor English English
Examples of offensive citation: E l f ff i it ti

"The deficiency of Smith's approach is..." The Smith s is "The problems with Smiths paper are" Smith A serious weakness with Smiths argument, i k ith Smith S ith ith t
however, is that ...... ...... Th k problem with Smiths explanation is The key bl ith Smith S ith ith l ti i that ...... ...... It seems th t S iths understanding of the X that Smith Smith ith d t di f th framework is questionable. questionable.
A better citation would be: b tt it ti ld b

Smiths model was effective in X Smith
p problem, however in Y , Y The X benefit of Smiths approach are Smith not applicable to Y Y
Reviewers comments R i t
I dont think you treated Smith fairly in
your lit t literature review, his insights deserve i hi i i ht d more respect. You forgot to include Smith as a reference in your paper His work is paper. fundamental to understanding your research. h
Conclusion C l i
Handout of our talk available
www.seminars.tw www seminars tw www.editing.tw d g

Editing from 86 colleges and universities, domain specialized How to write and publish an academic paper in 16 weeks H t attend, speak or present a poster at an academic How to tt d k t t t d i
conference
Books
editors, understand Taiwanese English, educational comments Three Stage translation process to preserve meaning and clarity

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9 Errors that Cause Taiwanese Research Papers to be Rejected

The P bli ti Ch ll Th Publication Challenge

The chance that a typical paper

What Causes Rejection of Taiwanese Papers?

English E li h as a reason for rejection f j ti

Reasons for major revision or rejection of Taiwanese journal papers

8% English Errors 27%

Writing Errors that Cause Revision and Rejection

Passive Voice Errors P i V i E

Template for Preparation of Papers for IEEE Sponsored Conferences & p p p p

IEEE Software A th G id li S ft Author Guidelines

AMA Manual of Style

The Journal of Trauma and Dissociation:

The Journal of N Th J l f Neuroscience i

British Medical Journal B iti h M di l J l

"Prefer the active voice....The passive

American Psychological Association. (2001). Publication Manual of the American

particularly when necessary for correct ti l l h f t syntax.

Active voice is preferable to

Instructions to authors. Oxford Journals Web site: Behavioral Ecology.

the impersonal passive voice.

Cautions about the active voice C ti b t th ti i

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

Identification of poor food, bad

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

t s this study on t e influences of CBU o the ue ces o C U

Noun to verb change corrections

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

Varying the control frequencies

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

Enumeration of three reasons why the

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

The performance rate slightly

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

Creating strong verbs C ti t b

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

Avoid starting sentences with the words, It and There.

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

The site manager must assess the g

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

Deleting redundancy and extra words

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

How would you change this sentence? thi t ?

Two concerns as a technical writer T t h i l it

Examples of redundant phrases that can be simplified

Specific examples of redundancy

the question as to whether

What would be a better substitute word?