What You Can Learn About God Through Children

a chainbooks publication Chapter 1 written by Brooke Williams Chapter 2 written by Theresa Frohlich Chapter 3 written by Chrystal Lewis Chapter 4 written by Jordan Williams Chapter 5 written by September McCollum Chapter 6 written by Vicki Miller

Chapter 1 When I had my daughter in 2009, I had no idea how much she would teach me. Here was this being, totally dependent on me for everything, and I ended up learning more than I taught. I had to feed her, clothe her, bathe her and tend to her every need. I showed her how to walk, taught her how to talk, and gave her every minute of time she needed. And yet she taught me more about God than I had learned in my many years as a Christian. ! I gave my life to Christ at the young age of 14. At that time, things nally clicked for me. I understood what it was all about and all I wanted to do was live right and glorify God. But at 14, what do you truly understand? I knew the basics and that was enough. Now that I am a mother, I feel like my connection to God through my child is so much deeper than it ever was before. There are many more levels to my understanding now, thanks to my daughter. ! Kids can teach adults so much through their innocence, their way of looking at things, their faith, and just their overall existence. We, as adults, simply have to listen. If we look for it, our kids are constantly showing us things that they themselves have no way of understanding just yet. ! Though my daughter is only 2, she has taught me plenty about God, how He relates to us, how He loves us, and how He sees us. I am grateful for my daughter for many different reasons. Her lessons on God are one of those reasons. Patience ! Any parent knows that patience is a key to parenting. There is no child that is perfectly behaved at all times. In fact, most of them seem to know when is the perfect time to misbehave and they take full advantage of it any chance they get. Patience is a virtue and the Bible talks about it at length. We read about the patience of parents trying to conceive, the patience of Noah and his family on the ark, the patience of Jesus tending to his ock and many other examples. Reading about it is quite different than putting it into action. It doesnt seem like that big of a deal for Bible characters to wander the desert for years, waiting their promised land, but if we want our child to do something now and they dont, its an immediate frustration. ! I rst encountered a lesson of patience when my daughter Kaelyn was very young. She was not the ideal sleeper. She slept great when she was being held, but any parent will tell you, you cannot hold your baby forever. There are other things going on in your life that need tending and the only time you have to tend to them is when the baby is asleep. ! ! When Kaelyn was 6 months old, I nally got tired of holding her all the time when she was sleeping. I was tired myself and it was hard to take a nap when I was in an awkward position trying to keep her comfortable. It was hard to get the bills done, take a shower, or do anything else, for that matter. I began working on getting her to sleep on her own.

! Many parents simply let their children cry at this stage, but my heart was way too soft for that and I couldnt do it. I devised a new plan. I would help Kaelyn go to sleep in my arms and then when she seemed to be pretty well out, I would dump her in bed. The plan worked, when executed correctly, but there were days when it was still complicated. ! One such day occurred when I was visiting my parents around Thanksgiving. I went a few days early to spend more time around other people and get a few more breaks from my new duties as a mom. My husband planned to follow right before the holiday. ! On the day of his arrival, I was bouncing Kaelyn asleep in her room in their house. She didnt like rocking in a rocking chair, that was too comfortable for me. No, she wanted me to be up and bouncing if there was any hope of her falling asleep. After she fell asleep, I placed her in bed, only to have her eyes pop back open instantly. I would pick her up again and begin the bouncing process all over. This occurred four times that day. The fourth time when she woke in bed, looked at me, realized she wasnt being bounced, and began to cry, I threw my hands up over my head, made sts and shook the frustration out with clenched teeth. ! It was that exact instant that my husband arrived at the house and opened the door to her bedroom. He didnt see the hour I had just spent trying to get her to go to sleep, he just saw the frustration. He quickly closed the door, I repeated the process, and was nally successful. ! As I think about this moment now, I realize several things about God. First, I remind myself that God sees everything. God saw my moment of frustration. He also saw everything leading up to it and everything after. When I feel frustration, lose my patience, have meltdowns and every other not so pleasant moment, God is there. Just when you think you are all alone in the world and no one is watching, remember that God is. Its that simple. God is. ! While I was embarrassed that my husband saw my frustrating moment, I remind myself when other such moments occur that even when I think I am alone and havent been caught, God has seen. This sometimes causes me to take another look at the situation and gather my patience from Him. ! Moments of frustration also cause me to think about Gods patience for us, his children. There are so many times I have disappointed God and, Im sure, caused him just as much reason to be frustrated. But the difference is, God never throws his hands up at me, He simply gives me another chance. Try again, He says, you can do better. ! I used to call myself the most patient person in the world. After having a child, I no longer believe that about myself. My patience is very limited. Gods patience, however, has no limit. No matter what we do, we always have another chance. Taking Direction ! My daughter is a very smart girl. Before the age of 2, she could understand most of what we said to her and she would do what you asked. Hey, Kaelyn, wed say, turn around in a circle. Shed spin until she fell over. Hey, Kaelyn, go get your shoes. Shed pick her favorite pair. It was obvious she knew what was going on around her. However, she didnt talk herself. Its not that she couldnt. I truly believe she chose not

to because she had a language of her own that was working for her. When we saw my sister for Kaelyns 2nd birthday, she said it best. She said, its not that Kaelyn doesnt talk, she just speaks Chinese. I have to admit, that IS what her language sounds like. ! And so, because of the language barrier, I got very good at taking directions. One point of the nger and Ah and I would know what she wanted. I get directions all day every day. What she wants to drink, what shoes she wants to wear, what toy she wants to play with, and even which way turn when driving. I have indeed become very adept at taking directions. ! I have gotten through the rst two years of motherhood by taking such directions. When I do what Kaelyn wants and needs, she is a happy girl. It is when I do not understand that the trouble begins. When I am around other people and Kaelyn asks for something, they will sometimes ask, how do you know what she wants? I can simply answer, I listen. Of course, its not quite that simple. Yes, I listen to every sound she utters, but I would never understand unless I was with her all day every day to correspond those sounds with the items in the world she might be asking about. ! In my thoughts about God, I often ask, what is it that God wants from me? What is my purpose in the overall plan? In the end, the answer is quite simple. God is speaking to each and every one of us in a continual manner. But how do we understand? We listen. It sounds simple, and, like with Kaelyn, it is and it isnt. Yes, we have to listen. But we also have to spend enough time listening to be able to decipher the messages when they come. A new babysitter would never know the grunt she utters when pointing at a sprinkler means you simply have to tell her what the object is. Sprinkler! No matter how many times a day she spots one. A new person would never know that when she taps my shoulder, she wants me to give her a ride all over the house. But, spend enough time with her and youll gure it out pretty fast. ! The same is true with God. There is no way to interpret His language if we dont listen and there is no way to understand unless we spend time with Him, giving it our all. Unconditional Love ! You may have noticed that unconditional love is one of the central themes in the Bible, but what is it, really? Its easy to ready and talk about unconditional love, but understanding it is a completely different matter. ! In my studies over the years, I thought I understood unconditional love. It was the kind of love God has for us. He loves us no matter what we do. He loves us no matter what we say. Understanding it and actually experiencing it are two completely different things. Now, theres no way that a human can love in the manner God loves. But I truly believe that the closest we can come to that kind of love is by examining the love a parent has for her child. ! When Kaelyn was born, I wasnt the type of mom that was immediately smitten. Sure, I loved her, but this was a new human being that I had never met before. I didnt know anything about her. ! And, to top it all off, I really didnt know anything about kids in general. I did a tiny bit of babysitting growing up, but nothing really to speak of. I had never changed a diaper. I had no younger siblings. I had no younger cousins. I was the baby of the family. Overall, I really knew nothing about kids. And then I had one.

! I still cant say that I know much and I am the rst to admit that I am most denitely making things up as I go along. But as I began to gure out Kaelyns personality along with what worked for her as opposed to what didnt, I fell in love. I loved her the minute she was born, but not in the way I love her now. ! When Kaelyn was born, I loved her because I was her mother and there was an immediate bond in that. But now, I love her because I choose to love her. And I know that there is nothing she can do that would make me stop loving her. Shes stuck with my love for the rest of her life, for better or for worse. ! When a newborn comes into the world, any mother will be struck with the enormity of what lies before them. Before, they took care of their husbands and themselves. Taking care of a newborn is a whole different story. These beings have NO capabilities. They can do NOTHING for themselves. A husband may not pick his clothes up from the oor, but at least he can put them on alone! ! Being a human, I believe love is something that comes with time. I love Kaelyn more everyday because of who she is as a person. I will always love her because she is my daughter, but the unconditional portion of that love has grown since her birth. ! When I think about how I love my daughter, I like to relate it to how God feels about us. I know in my head that God has an unconditional love for us, but what does that really look like? ! There are many things I would do for my daughter. When she gets a cold, all I want to do is take it from her. I would much rather be sick myself. When she gets hurt, all I want to do is take the pain from her and inict it on myself instead. Sound familiar? God feels the same way. In fact, God didnt have to wish, He went ahead and did it. God took all of the pain in the world and inicted it on Himself on the cross in order to free us from it. ! Would I die for my child? You better believe it. When I think of God in those terms it is much more understandable that He did the same for each and every one of us. We ARE Gods children. He DOES have that sense of unconditional love for us. And the best part is, He had that feeling for us the instant we were born. He didnt even need time to get to know us like I did with Kaelyn. He already knew usbefore we were even born. Awe and Wonder ! Sometimes I look and Kaelyn and wonder what shes thinking as she sees something she really likes. Her eyes light up with a joy unlike any other. Wouldnt it be nice to live with such joy in the most simple things? A plane ying overheadthe horn of a traingoing over a big bump in the car. Its the little things that make up the whole of life. And Kaelyn appreciates them all. ! As a jaded adult, I sometimes wish I could feel the joy that Kaelyn feels in the little things that life has in store. Now that I have her in my life, I feel like I can. At least a little bit more. I get almost as excited as she does when I see our neighbor mowing. Free, cheap entertainment! She loves to watch the red tractor go back and forth across the yard as she chatters and points.

! I nd myself looking for American ags everywhere we go, just so I can point them out to her and see the look on her face. With a child in my life, a sense of awe and wonder has returned because I look at things from her perspective. ! The way Kaelyn looks at the world is the way I want to look at God. With a sense of awe and a look of pure joy in my eyes. God is unlike anything I have ever seen and I want to light up when I think of Him, as Kaelyn does when she sees the sh tanks in the grocery store and the dogs crossing the streets. With a child like faith, any one of us can draw closer to God.

Chapter 2 The Art of Letting Go: Confessions of An Empty Nest Mom After my husband leaves for work, my house is so quiet I can hear a pin drop. There used to be conversation, laughter, and, at times, ghting. Sometimes the silence is so unbearable that I have to look for a toy or a piece of clothing that belonged to the children, to touch these things so I could feel that connection with them. Periodically, I could feel my eyes well up in tears. Is this what the psychologists call the Empty Nest Syndrome? Our children, MaryBeth and Jacob, have already been living independently for four years, yet I am still a beginner at this thing called letting go. Sometimes I wonder if moms ever graduate from the school of letting go. Learning has always been important of my life; in spite of the years of graduate education, along with all the professional designations I have acquired, I am still trying to master the ABCs.Who said letting go would be easy? Imagine what God must have felt when he had to drive his First Children, Adam and Eve, out of the Garden of Eden. He had to let them go so the human race would have the option of returning to their heavenly father as redeemed people. Although God no longer held his children in his nest, he never ceased to hold them in his heart.Letting go of our children is a complex and emotionally charged experience for parents, yet very few openly talk about their journey of transitions. We use the metaphor of emptying the nest to portray the momentous step of releasing our children from the nest, a metaphor that is far from being adequate or revealing. The image of the empty nest describes a station in life, a fait accompli, but does not provide any clues to the emotional and relational dynamics of the family.The animal world has a few lessons for us humans when it comes to parenting and launching our children. Bird parents work hard day and night, feeding their babies and getting them to grow. As soon as the baby birds are mature enough, and often before they can y, the family moves out of the nest and itinerates to a different location every night because the nest is vulnerable to predators and parasites. Another picture from the animal world is the Mama Bear which has been caring for the cub for over a year. When the time is right, the Mama Bear takes the cub into the woods, chases the cub up to the tree and leaves. The cub is left to gure out a way to get down to the ground and begin his new life as an independent young adult.Where do humans fall on the spectrum between the Mama Bird and the Mama Bear? Isnt there a human way of letting go of our children somewhere between the birds and the bears? MaryBeth and Jacob, now in their early 20s, were miracle babies conceived with the help of a fertility doctor. I treasured those two long-awaited children and I vowed to make life perfect for them. Making life perfect for them, however, involves being perpetually in charge and in control. MaryBeth was born with such an independent spirit that she was pushing for self-determination since she started crawling. This was her rst step of breaking away. Why didnt I see that coming? Perhaps I would have done well if I had looked to the Mama Bear for wisdom.Jacob is no less independent from an early age. I started taking him to Sunday school when he was barely one. As soon as I put

him on the oor, he would run for the toys and would not even turn back to look at his mother. Jacob! Arent you going to miss your mother? How can you be so eager to leave your mother behind?MaryBeth and Jacob were extremely close, so close that they behaved like twins who would not do anything without the other. All was ne until MaryBeth went off to kindergarten; Jacob was left behind not knowing who he was. I found a church-based preschool that offered two programs: three half-days or ve fulldays. I told Cindy, the preschool director, that Jacob was not ready for full-time preschool. Cindy smiled knowingly and said, Mom is not ready! I almost got defensive. After all, I deserved some afrmation for being ready to send my 4-year-old boy to three half-days of preschool!I took pride in my progress in releasing Jacob, my live teddy bear, into the big, bad world! For the rst two years, I left him with no one else except my husband and one babysitter. No one, absolutely no one, could take care of my precious ones as well as I could. No one else could hold his hand as well as I could, and so I continued to hold his hand till he was 10 years old. One day, while we were on a family eld trip, he freed his hand from mine. Just like that! He pulled his hand away from mine! O Jacob! Dont you need your mama anymore?The late adolescent years of both children were turbulent. Their biological clock was telling them they needed to break away to become their own persons, but they had so much unarticulated fear and anxiety about growing up that they acted out this anxiety as conict, argument, and oppositional behavior. Both of them went off to college, made some very poor choices, and derailed their college career. As a result, we pulled them out of school, and required them to live apart from us and make their own living. Tough love isnt really tough with your child, but its tough on mom! Its a lot like the Mama Bear that chased her cub up the tree in the woods and left him to gure out a way to get back down to the ground to begin his independent life.When we shared with other parents this experience of radical letting go, each and every one of them said, That must be very hard to do! Yes! That was the hardest thing my husband and I ever did. We learned from the recovery experts that we had to detach ourselves from our children so they could get back on the straight path. This is counterintuitive to parents because the nest is believed to be the safe, cozy haven. But we knew that the parasites and predators of self-destruction and dependency would begin to arrest our childrens development. This time we looked to the wisdom of the Mama Bird that migrates to protect the young from the parasites and predators.This act of letting go might appear to be an easy at, but in reality it was a very traumatic end to a phase of our parent-child relationship. It was as though both parents and children knew something had to change but we did not know how to make the transition gradually, smoothly, and artfully. Their self-destructive behaviors created chaos and crisis; my husband and I had to respond to the crisis as if the airplane was about to crash. We opened the emergency exit and pushed the two children out of the airplane.Psychologists refer to spoiling the nest as a metaphor to describe the dysfunctional and sometimes self-destructive behaviors our children and many adolescents resort to. They feel as though they must do something bad in order to justify their need to break away and become their own persons. Perhaps the separation is just as traumatic to them as it was to us as parents. The transition to a new phase of our relationship is also marked by a psychological tomb as well as a psychological womb. Our children have to bury their childhood; we as parents also

have to bury our rst adulthood. In acknowledging the death of childhood, our children step into their new identity as responsible adults; in accepting the death of our rst adulthood, my husband and I ceased being protectors and providers and began our journey of independence. MaryBeth and Jacob have been living apart from us for four years. There have been many days, when I am home alone, I miss their voices, their laughter, and sometimes even their arguments. I feel that ache in my heart and the emptiness in my arms. There is a MaryBeth-shaped hole and a Jacob-shaped hole in my heart. They may be grown adults, but moms arms are like memory foam that will never forget the sensation of holding them. In spite of this grief and loneliness, I refrain from contacting them too often because they need to know that mom is doing all right without them in the nest.In a recent conversation with an empty nest mom whose adult children left home more than 10 years ago, I asked her, How do you deal with your children not coming home for the holidays? She answered, I just let go and pray. Just let go and pray? Is it really that easy?Parents who are in the midst of emptying the nest know it is not easy. Our friends Steve and Martha have two daughters. One of their daughters got married a year ago and the other graduated from college and took a job far away from home. During Thanksgiving and Christmas last year, Steve and Martha could no longer count on the daughters being home for the holiday celebrations. Steve who travels frequently for his work said, Honey, Ill be home for Christmas! Martha said, But you are not our daughter!As parents, we grieve for the loss of that closeness we used to enjoy. And we should grieve well. Perhaps we should even give ourselves the freedom to have a good cry. In the four years after MaryBeth and Jacob left home, I have taken my daughters Barbie dolls out and played with them and I have caressed my sons old bath robe just so that I could still feel that connection. At times, my eyes get misty with tears, longing for the closeness that no longer exists. The connection we have with our children is irreplaceable. No one can ll the void in my heart except MaryBeth and Jacob. Similarly, no one can ll the void in Gods heart except each one of his children. This is why our heavenly Father will leave the ninetynine sheep to go searching for the one lost sheep (Mt. 18:12). God turns his grief into a mission.It would be tempting for me to get stuck in the grief cycle by focusing on my losses and not paying attention to the gains. As long as I continue on my own journey to independence, being the big girl my children need me to be, they continue to move forward on their journey into adulthood. About nine months ago, after my husband and I took MaryBeth out to dinner, we went across the street to the pet store to shop for some supplies for her two cats. When my husband took his wallet out to pay for the purchase, MaryBeth stopped him, These cats are my babies and I am going to pay for the purchase. A few months later, our son was caught in a housing crisis because his roommate acted dishonorably. When we offered nancial help, Jacob said, Thank you. I would really like to handle this situation myself.I will not claim credit for the ego strength that our children have developed during a few short years, but I am convinced that my commitment to let go has given them the permission and freedom to begin and stay on their journey. Sometimes people

nd young birds on the ground and they dont know what to do with them. The experts advise this: if it is a edgling, dont ever put it back in the nest because the edgling is meant to leave the nest. Too often, we think that our children need us. In reality of children need us to get out of the way so they can face the world on their own; real life is the school in which they develop that ego strength.Recently, we had our Thanksgiving celebration at MaryBeths apartment. She proved herself to be a competent and gracious host. When she and her brother Jacob were toddlers, they were fascinated with the idea of having people over for dinner. The two of them would get mixing bowls, pots and pans out to pretend they were having a dinner party. Now given the opportunity to host a dinner party in real life, Mary Beth proved herself capable. Perhaps letting go simply means that I must relinquish my role of being the parent-incharge and make room for my children to lead. I must set aside my competency so my children can demonstrate their competence; I must show my weakness to give them an opportunity to display their strength.In the Bible, three mothers have become my role models for letting go: Jochebed (mother of Moses), Hannah (mother of Samuel), and Mary (mother of Jesus). Each of these mothers let go of their sons so they were free to be what God had called him to be. Jochebed cared more for her sons well-being than her own need to keep him; Hannah counted it more important to fulll his vow to the Lord than to keep her son close by; Mary released Jesus to go about his Fathers business (Luke 2:49). These women accepted their motherhood with courage even though they knew the separation would cause them grief (Luke 2:35).Letting go is an experience that touches not only mothers, but also fathers. The apostle Paul had many spiritual children in various cities. As he travelled to different locations to spread the Gospel, he had to let go of those spiritual children and commit them to the care of the local church leaders. Similarly, Jesus Christ, when he ascended to heaven, had to let go and commit his children to the care of the Holy Spirit and the Apostles. Neither Jesus nor the Apostles believed that their physical presence was indispensable for the continuing spread of the Gospel.Perhaps what sets these Biblical mothers and fathers apart is their vision for the Kingdom of God that was far bigger that their connection with their children. The Apostle Paul intimated in Philippians 4:1, You whom I love and long for, my joy and crown This longing is as intense as the longing of a parent for his beloved children. But Paul, and other Biblical mothers and fathers, began with the end in mind: the mission of the Good News. This mission-mindedness sets them free to let go of those they longed for and felt close to. Releasing our children into the world strikes fear in each parents heart, but this is Gods design for them as they come of age, beginning with the time they start crawling. God himself released Adam and Eve from the nest even though he knew they would make some mistakes. At a seminar taught by a pediatric psychiatrist, he said, After the baby gets down from the mothers arms to check out the kitty, the baby comes back to mom. The rst question on the babys mind is this: Mom! Are you OK without me in your arms?MaryBeth and Jacob are silently asking this question each day. Mom! Are you OK without me in your arms? My silent answer to them is: Child! I am OK without you in my arms, because I know God will hold your hand.

Chapter 3 I remember asking Jesus into my heart during a church service when I was 8 years old. Although I have called myself a Christian from that moment on, I can honestly say it wasnt until I had children that I really began to understand what that meant past the basic head level. Sure, I could tell you about the Bible and what it said about God and who Jesus was. I could tell you what was right and wrong in Gods eyes and the consequence of sin. But it wasnt until shortly after our second son was born 4 years ago that I really began to understand who God was on a deeper heart level. It was then that I began to truly get his love and patience, his desire for intimate relationship with me, the plan he has for me and the bigger picture of it all. While several factors contributed to the timing of my growing relationship with Christ, the largest part of that had to do with becoming a parent. God's Love August 29, 2006 is the day my life and my understanding of love changed forever. As our rst born son lay quietly on my chest after 14 hours of labor, grasping my thumb tightly with his little hand and staring right into my eyes in a way that pierced my soul, I knew I would never be the same again. My heart grew that day and has continued to grow exponentially with the births of our two other sons. It was in that love for my children that I for the rst time began to grasp the love that God has for me. The Bible speaks time and time again of Gods everlasting love for us. In fact, the word love is mentioned 551 times in the NIV. That doesnt even count the variations of the word. I think that makes it pretty clear that more than any other message in his word, God wants us to get how much he loves us. And not just any old love agape love, the type of love that is dened by self-sacrice. What human relationship is more self-sacricing then the parent child relationship? As a mom I sacrice on a day to day basis by putting aside my own needs and wants for the sake of meeting other human beings basic needs. From losing sleep, to skipping showers, to counting time in the bathroom as alone time, my job as a mom is all about putting others rst. Not only do I choose to sacrice in the small things but more importantly, I am willing if needed to physically sacrice my life to protect my children. Nothing could stop me from keeping my kids safe, not even the prospect of death. Isnt that what Christ did for us? He sacriced his life for us purely out of love and the desire for us to have a better life. I can honestly say that before I had my children I didnt completely get that kind of love. Now it resonates with me on a whole new level and helps me not only better understand Gods love, but also truly appreciate it.But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) Patience I am not even going to pretend that I am a patient mom. Far from it actually. As a stayat-home mom of 3 boys ages 5 and under with a husband who works 12 hour shifts, there are more days than not that I nd myself raising my voice to beyond normal levels

and taking a few time outs of my own between disciplining my kids. Despite the fact that I lose my cool with my kids more than I would like to admit, I still have a level of patience for them unlike that for any other person in my life. They could defy me for the fteenth time in a row and while I would not be happy about it I would still allow them continued opportunities to get it right. There may have to be consequences for their actions but there are no limits to how many times I would correct and then forgive them. This kind of patience is only comparable to the patience God has for us. We defy him over and over again yet he continues to love us and forgive us. He sometimes has to punish us for our choices but out of love and wanting the best for us. Like a parent, he gently corrects us until we make begin to make that good choice on our own. I pray that the closer I draw to God, the more I am able to truly be slow to anger with my children.The LORD is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation. (Numbers 14:18) Desire for intimate relationship It is silly how much I already think about what it will be like when my kids are grown. It is so far off but I know all too well that that time will be here before we know it and for that reason I cant help but let my thoughts wander there from time to time. I think about what kind of men my boys will become, who their wives will be, what careers they will choose. And more times than not I wonder what kind of relationship we will have. Will they call me on a regular basis to tell me about their life, will they stop by for more than clean laundry and a hot meal, and will they want me to be a part of their kids lives? Like I said, silly I know since they are only 5, 4, and 1 but I guess the desire for relationship with my children is high on my priority list. I dont want just any relationship either. I want a strong, solid relationship that reminds them that they have someone in their corner who knows who they really are. How do I get that? My husband and I try to foster that now by being open to listening to them no matter how big or small the concern. We celebrate praises as a family and mourn together when one of us is hurting. No topic is off the table, we encourage them to speak openly and we try to answer all of their questions as we see appropriate to their age. Spending time doing fun things and laughing seems to make it easier when the rough patches come. By making dinnertimes at the table a part of life now, we hope it will establish a place for conversation even in those more difcult years to come.As I think about how much I want to know my kids and spend time with them I realize that this is the same thing our Heavenly Father wants from us. He desires to know us deeply and intimately and has created us to desire the same in our earthly relationships. He wants us to spend quiet time daily with him, to share our innermost thoughts, to come to him with things big or small. God wants to know me! That warms my heart every time I think of it. That thing I want for my kids, to have someone in their corner who knows who they really are, is what I want too and I have it in my relationship with God. He knew me before I was born and nothing I am or do is hidden from him. Knowing that I sometimes wonder why he even wants me to spend time with him? His word tells me it is so that I can say that I know him well too. It isnt a relationship if only one person is invested. I can pour everything I have into my kids but if they dont grow up and reciprocate that same desire to know me the

relationship would stop developing. I dont need to be friends with my kids, just like God doesnt need me for a friend, but I want it and so does he.For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:13-16) The plan I think the biggest aha moment I have had when it comes to connecting my relationship with my kids to my relationship with God came when I realized that he has a plan for my life and I would be so much better off if I followed his plan instead of my own. I often nd myself saying, If only the kids would follow the plan! I make it so easy for them, yet they insist on doing it their way despite the difculty and consequences it may bring. Dont they know that I know more and that I have their best interest in mind? My 4 year old, our middle son, is infamous for drawing these words from my mouth. He is my strong-willed child, the one who chooses the path of most resistance each and every time, who is willing to battle to the death for independence and free choice. I can remember when he was barely over two years old and we had asked him to try one bite of his dinner before getting down from the table. He refused so at the table he remained. 15 minutes passed, then 30, then 45. Didnt phase him one bit. Bedtime came and he still hadnt tried a bite of his food. This continued for the next 3 nights when we realized that it was us who were going to have to change our strategy. What had worked on our oldest son after one night was clearly not going to work on our stubborn child. Despite missing out on after dinner family time and going to bed hungry, he insisted on doing things his way.You see, we were only trying to do what we thought was best for him. In our minds we knew that he needed to eat, to be open to try new things, because it was what was good for him. But he had different plans and was willing to stick to them no matter the outcome. How often must God think that about us? We are all deant and stubborn at times, some of us more so than others. Our rebellion and need to control the direction of our life leads to numerous negative consequences yet time after time we make the same mistakes. God must just shake his head and think, if only you would follow my plan. After all, He makes it so easy for usheck, its all laid out in the Bible! If only we lived like we understood that Gods plan for us is so much better than any plan we could come up with on our own, life would be so much easier. Just as we can see things that our kids cannot possibly understand in their limited knowledge, so does God see the bigger picture when we are only able to see whats right in front of us.For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) The bigger picture I think back to when I was rst pregnant and trying to read every book I could get my hands on that told me what to expect during pregnancy and labor. Then I moved on to

books about how to care for a baby and a toddler. After two kids 13 months apart, I threw out the books and realized that life experience and wisdom from friends and family were just as valuable at that point. In a lot of ways, parenting is just about trial and error. There are gobs of how-to books out there that will point you in the right direction, but nothing written specically to your child and to your situation. Lucky for us there is a guide written when it comes to being spiritual parents. We can look in the Bible and while it doesnt tell us the exact answer to proper discipline or how to potty train a 2 year old; it does give us wisdom and show us where our priorities should be when raising our children. I realize that while my job as a mom is comprised of a lot of day to day decisions and tasks, there is one ultimate task as a parent that I am held accountable for in the eyes of God. That is in introducing my child to a relationship with Christ and helping disciple them into mature adult Christians. How exactly do I do that? By talking about Jesus throughout our day, reading verses from the Bible, praying with my boys not only at meal time and bedtime but also when the day is hard or they are going to be away from us for a while. They see us make church a priority and we involve them in opportunities to serve others. Even in daily tasks like setting the table they are taught to serve everyone else before themselves because serving is about putting others rst. These examples all reect the intentional ways that we walk beside our children as they begin to learn about Gods love and what that looks like in our daily life. We hope that in doing these things we will create a strong foundation for them to continue to build their own growing relationship with God from.Realizing the importance of discipling my children helped me realize the bigger picture. That we are all called to be spiritual parents, not just to our kids but to those who dont know Jesus or who are children in their faith. God put us here on Earth for that very reason. The way that I live my life each and every day should shine a light so bright that people cant help but see Jesus in all that I do. The very same Christ-like behavior I model at home in hopes my kids will pick up on it, I should exhibit all the time in hopes that others will pick up on it as well. As willing as I am to read and speak the word of God to my children so that it will become engraved in their hearts, I have to admit that I am not always so willing to speak it to others who dont share my faith. But you know what? Those people are Gods children too and he does not wish for one of them to perish. Who am I to withhold his truth from anyone? I am so thankful that God has not only entrusted me with three of his children but that he has also used them to reveal more of himself to me.Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 11:19)

Chapter 4 When I rst thought about this topic, What you can learn about God through children, I took myself back to my pre-children years. Its true that I interacted with children before I had any of my own. I did a little babysitting in Junior High to earn extra money. I ran the age 3 class in Bible School during the summer when I was in high school. I even helped a neighbor with her daycare on occasion. And yet, once I was adult, if you would have asked me about my experience with children, I would have downplayed it. I was never fully in charge of any of these children and though I got to spend time with them, I never had to deal with the day-to-day issues that arose. ! As I thought about what I have learned about God through children, I rst had to think about what I knew about God before I had children more prevalently in my life. I became a Christian a bit later in life so I had plenty of life experience behind me. Knowing what I know now about God and His saving grace, I wish it had happened a lot sooner. But I am just glad that it happened when it did, before my children came around. ! When I had children, I was ill prepared. I dont know that anyone can fully be prepared for the issues that children bring into ones life. And those issues arent necessarily badtheyre just challenging. Lets just say, once you have kids, you have plenty of time and reason to pray. Time because you are often up all hours of the night. And reason for many different items, some of which go along with the all hours of the night part. ! But after my kids were born, though I was tired, haggard, and fully pulled to my very limits, I also feel as if I learned more about God than I ever knew before. It was not because I did more in depth studies. Unfortunately, time for such things often ew to the wayside in lieu of the childrens needs. It was more because of the things I saw in my children. ! There are plenty of things that God has taught me about himself through my kids over the years. As I think through the various scriptures in which God reveals things about himself, the one that keeps coming back to my mind is the verse in Galatians that talks about the fruits of the spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 reads: The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ! This verse is one that I taught to the 3-year-olds in the summer Bible school sessions when I was in high school. I hope it has stuck in their minds as much as it has in mine. It gives attributes that Christians could, and maybe even should show, when they truly allow the Holy Spirit to enter their lives. But each individual item is also something my children have taught me quite a bit about in their short little lives. LOVE It seems obvious that children teach adults about love. There arent many parents that are not bursting at the seams with love for their children. And most moms will tell you, its a completely different kind of love than the type of love they have for anyone else even their spouse.

This concept was always hard for me to understand before I had kids. I thought there was nothing I wouldnt do for my husband and my other family members. But the love for your child goes far beyond any other type of loveat least in my experience. Let me illustrate this idea. When my husband is sick, I close the door to our bedroom occasionally take him some crackers and maybe a little soupand tell him to get better soon. When our children are sick, I sleep beside their bedshold their handsstroke their hairand wish and pray that I could take the illness from them and place it on me instead. Part of this is because my husband is an adult and my kids are not. But part of me also knows I would want to do the same thing, even if they were older. This type of unconditional love is the type of love God has for each and every one of us. Whenever we are sick, God wants to take that illness and place it upon himself instead. It is that type of love that put Jesus on the cross and held him there. JOY ! Anyone that has spent any amount of time around children knows that their pure joy is a sight to enjoy. Christmas is generally an extra special time of year, especially for children. There are pretty lights outside, presents inside, and all sorts of wonders. Children often enjoy the wrappings and boxes more than the actual presents themselves and my kids were no different. In fact, one year, my youngest took to opening a present, saying Ooo, and then placing it back in the box, wrapping it back up and opening it again so she could have the reaction all over again. The way her eyes lit up to the same toy each and every time gave me a sense of joy that I didnt know I had. It was her joy, rubbing off on me. And its the way God wants me to feel all of the time when I think about Him. ! If I could take a fraction of a childs joy and place it into my everyday life, each and every little thing I do would turn out so much better. With children in my life, I actively attempt to look at things through their joyful eyes. It makes the day brighter in every way. PEACE ! Have you ever sneaked into a childs room and watched him sleep? I always had a never wake a sleeping baby rule, but that rule only went so far. Like, if that sleeping baby was sleeping WAY too long and I knew there would be no more sleeping baby come bedtime, I would perhaps enter his room and make a little noise in hopes that he would stir. ! There is simply nothing like the look of peace on a childs face when he is asleep. Adults get it too, but you have to admit, its different. I, for one, do not feel as if my mind ever truly stops moving. Even when Im asleep, Im thinking. I dont know that children are, necessarily. When they nally stop moving and collapse into sleep, they pause anything and everything they were doing. They are in total and complete peace. I can feel that peace in a very real way as I stand over the crib and watch them sleep. PATIENCE

! Patience is an unending struggle for any parent. Children test adults to their limits and beyond. There were many times when my children were young that I found myself frustrated beyond my wildest imagination. And it was only because they would not put their shoes onchange their shirteat their dinneror some other seemingly trivial item. ! It makes me think about the amount of patience God has for us. We, as adults, do things that are so much worse than not putting on our shoes. We lie, cheat, steal, and on and on and on. And yet God never throws his hands up at us and says, Ive had it! like I have said so many times to my own children. I feel like I am a patient person, but my patience has limits. How much more patience does God have for us? Its simply unlimited. KINDNESS ! There are many things about children that can be very unkind. They steal toys from other kids, push kids out of the way on the playground, and always want to do what they want to dowhen they want to do it. But there are little slivers of kindness that often shine through when you least expect it. ! When my youngest was 2, she and her dad and I were eating at a fast food restaurant. She had been sick recently and it was the rst time she had really eaten well. Since she ate so well, we got her an ice cream cone when her meal was gone. Her dad returned from the counter as we returned from the bathroom. She looked at the ice cream, looked at him and gasped. Thank you daddy! she exclaimed. It was the rst time she had said such a thing without being prompted. She was truly in awe that he would do something so nice for her. It melted his heart. It melted mine. It was a moment neither of us will ever forget. GOODNESS ! Kids have issues with sharing, lets just face it. They want things all to themselves and thats all there is to it. One of my children was actually pretty good at the sharing concept at a young age. She was so good, in fact, that she wanted to share anything and everythingwith me. ! She would go down a slide at the park and then say, Mamas turn! She would take a bite of food and then offer it to me, Mamas turn! She would go to the bathroom and then turn to me, Mamas turn! Her concern for my well-being in all matters always touched me. Whether I actually wanted to go down the slide or not (usually not, though I always did!) I felt as if she had a good heart and simply wanted to share her fun, her food, and her routine with me. ! God is such a good God, he feels much the same way about us. He knows what is best for us and he simply wants to share that goodness. FAITHFULNESS ! I have to admit, I have a wee bit of a problem with letting go. And, therefore, so do my children. But that stage has taught me quite a bit about faithfulness. Whenever I

would try to allow someone else to watch my children, they would cling to my leg, arm, or whatever other body part was handy and cry for me not to go. It wasnt as if they didnt know I was going to come back. They just preferred me over anyone else. Probably because I hardly ever let anyone else watch them. ! Even so, they were faithful to me. They wanted me over anyone and everyone else. They wanted to be with me. They wanted to be near me. They wanted to sit in my lap and play with me and just be in my company. For a mother, that is the best feeling in the world. Its hard to never feel as if you can take a break, but its harder to pull away from a child who just wants to be with you. ! As I think about how my children act when I try to take a night out, I wonder how much better I would be as a Christian and as a person in general if I acted the same way as God. I wouldnt scream and cry when he left, of coursebecause he never leaves. But what if I wanted to be with him more than anyone else in the world? What if I clambered to learn more about him and just simply spend time with him? This is the kind of faithfulness he wishes upon all of his children. It was the kind I got from my own and the kind I strive to have. GENTLENESS ! Kids arent always particularly gentle, but you can catch moments of tenderness and gentleness when you least expect it. One time, when I was sick, I was laying on the couch, trying to tune out the world as the kids ran around doing their best to entertain me. All I wanted was to be left alone to sleep, but as a mom, thats rarely an option, even when sickness seems overwhelming. As I tried to tune out the latest game and concentrate on sleep, my daughter came over and simply placed her hand on my hair, stroking it a few times. It was something I had often done to her when she was sick and it was so sweet and gentle, I knew sleep would never come and I no longer wanted it. ! I have always been drawn to the idea that God knows the number of hairs on our head. That strikes me as a very gentle aspect of a very big God. The fact that God would take that much time and put that much effort into me makes me feel as if I am very important to him. When my daughter stroked my hair, I knew she had gotten that action from me. But she had also gotten it from God. SELF-CONTROL ! Self-control is also not something most children are good at showing. However, the adult in the situation can learn quite a bit about self-control from the children around them. When my children spin into nightmares, screaming and crying for no particular reason at all, all I want to do is scream and cry right back at them. I have learned, however, from experience, of course, that all this does is make any and every situation worse. The best thing I can do is dig deep into myself, use my self-control, and ignore the situation. ! The worse thing I can do to my children is ignore them. When they have worked themselves into a t, they are doing everything they can to get my attention. It takes every ounce of self-control I have to ignore them until they straighten up.

! Sometimes, when the crying is raging in the background of the room, I think about God and the self-control He has when it comes to my life. There have been plenty of times when I have done things that I know God wouldnt approve of me doing. Instead of screaming and crying in my face, he simple stands back, lets me make my mistakes, and is there to pick up the pieces once Im done with my t. ! It is astounding to me how present God is in all aspects of life, if only you are willing to watch for Him. I have seen him shine the most through my children. Most of the time, in ways they would never intend. It just proves to me that God is all of the things he says he isand then some.

Chapter 5 Our daughter Rose was in her thirty sixth week of pregnancy when an ultra sound revealed she would have to have a c-section because the babys head was too big. She had an amniocentesis her thirty-seventh week, during which they poked her ve times and found no amniotic uid in the sack. At that point, they immediately did an emergency c-section. All seemed to be going well when baby boy Cyrus came out wailing at nine pounds ten ounce. But within a very short time, he was in distress and he started turning blue. His lungs collapsed and he started hemorrhaging and bleeding out. By the time they got him all settled in the NICU he was on an Oscillator, had two chest tubes in his right lung, one chest tube in his left lung, pik line, numerous other IVs with antibiotics and even blood transfusions. They had no idea why he was hemorrhaging. Its a scary situation when even the doctors have no idea why this all happened. Im the grandma in this situation and I was in Florida when my grandson was born. My sister Ellen rushed to the hospital to be with the baby while his Dad Anthony stayed with Rose. You see, Rose gave birth to Cyrus at one hospital, but they had to move the baby over 30 minutes away to another hospital that specialized in childrens care. It was hard for Rose to know that her baby was in another part of town, but she was also having medical issues of her own that prevented her from leaving to be with her new son. The situation for Cyrus was grave. My sister Ellen was at the hospital, just waiting for any type of news while other people milled around her in the lobby area. She was in a state of shock over the situation when a young man about eighteen years of age came up to her and said, You look like you need a hug. It wasnt something one hears everyday, but Ellen really did need a hug and some support, so she accepted that offer. After the hug, others came up and asked her, Can we pray for you? She opened her arms once again and welcomed the prayer. Ellen later told me that had she been asked that question ten years ago, she wouldnt have said yes. Just a little history about my sister, her daughter was born with some problems and she was up in the same NICU where baby Cyrus was, so her emotions were running nearly as high as everyone else involved. After a few hours, the hospital staff nally came and got Ellen. As she followed the nurse into the room, she realized that Cyrus was in the same room her daughter Lucille was in nearly a decade earlier. There were numbers of doctors and nurses in the room trying to gure out what to do with this little baby that was bleeding out and causing all sorts of problems. None of them could not stop his bleeding. He was very pale, his skin was mottled and, using her words, he simply looked dead. The doctor told Ellen she just didnt know what else they could do. They had done everything they could and they could just not stop the bleeding. My sister, remembering the prayers that were said for her in the lobby just a short time prior said, God can stop it just like that, and then she snapped her ngers. Next, a Hemorrhagic Doctor decided to try a drug that had only been used on adults. No one felt as if there was any other choice because they could not ll this baby up fast enough with transfusions. His lungs were full of bloodit was inevitablehe was dying....they even called in the Chaplain.

Cyrus mother Rose was still at a different hospital about twenty miles away. The NICU called her and told her that the babys father, Anthony needed to come and see his son immediately. Cyruss vitals were sinkinghis oxygen saturation level was 52%...it was not good. Marie, one of Roses sisters stayed with her while Anthony went to see his son. Rose was beside herself that she could not go along as well, but she was not being allowed to leave her own hospital because of her own condition. When Anthony arrived, he entered Cyrus room and started talking to his son. As soon as Cyrus heard his fathers voice, he started to respond and his vitals started to get better. Cyrus had only been hearing the voices of strangers and nally, he recognized this voice. He was hearing his fathers voice and his vitals began to stabilize. During all this, my husband and I were making plans to come back to the Midwest. I knew I had to get back as quickly as possible to be there for my daughter and my grandson. I was able to book a ight for the next morning and my husband got in the car and began driving the two day drive twenty hour drive to get back to the Midwest from where we were in Florida. The rst thing I did as I sat on the plane was ask the Lord how to pray. For his will to be done? For complete healing? What if the Lord knows something I dont know? Should I just trust the Lord to do what he thinks is right? Help me to see why your will in all of this. Help me to be strong, I prayed. Dont let ME get in your way! Help me to reect your light in this situation. The Lord knows what is best for Cyrus. Will I be coming home to help with this baby or will I be coming home for a funeral? Lord guide me! These are the thoughts that were going through my mind. My ight was very early, and I was thankful. There is something very different about ying home due to an emergency. Its just not at all fun. I felt kind of numb and it just didnt feel real. My daughter Marie came to the airport to pick me up. She was running a bit late because a bottle of cinnamon air fresher spilled in her the back seat. When she ran up to me, I was greeted with a tearful hug along with the strong scent of potpourri. It was 32 degrees and we had to drive with the windows down to be able to stand the smell. It wasnt the ideal situation, but in all honest, it kind of took our mind off of the other things that were going on. Marie had been up all night long at the hospital with baby, she was frazzled, she was tired and she was scared. After eating lunch, we went to the hospital to see Rose. When we got to the hospital she was groggy from the pain medication they had her on. Her eyes were all red with swollen circles under them. And she was focusing her energies on trying to breast pump. It was the only thing that was keeping her mind off of all of the what ifs. The hospital was making arrangements to release her later that day so she could be with Cyrus. The three of us talked it over and decided that Marie and I would go to the hospital to see the baby while they worked out all those details with Rose and her release. On the ight halfway across the country, Id tried to prepare myself for what Cyrus would look like, but in reality, its something you just cant do. He was a big boy with tubes in

his nose, his chest, his color was a bit yellow and he was very puffy from all the blood and uid in his system. He looked healthy and strapping in his weight. His color and the tubes coming out of him told another story. He was in critical condition, period. My rst question was, What is wrong with him? What happened? And the scary part was that no one had an answer. They could not run some of the tests they needed because he was in such critical condition, but they were running cultures to see if it was a viral or bacterial infection and they were checking his blood for abnormalities. Cyrus was thirty hours old when his mom, Rose got to see him for the rst time. As a mother myself, my heart ached for her and for my grandson. I just wanted to make it all better, but I couldnt. They explained that the rst three days are critical, so we sat, prayed and watched. Listening to the oscillator breathing life into his body was tiring. Sometimes, I would nod off in my chair because of the warmth in the room and the monotony of the sound. During this time, little Cyrus did not move. Once in awhile, he would twitch or slightly grab a nger, but there was no real sign on life. Finally, at ve days old we made mom and dad get out of the hospital to get something to eat and get some fresh air. They were very hesitant to do it and I can understand why. But they were eventually convinced that in order to take care of Cyrus, they also had to take care of themselves. When they came back, Rose went over to Cyrus and said, We are back. As she put her nger in his, she turned around and started to walk away and I saw him lift his entire arm up and take his ngers and start grabbing, I kind of yelled loudly look! and we all started crying as my husband and I praised God. This little boy had not done anything like this in his ve days of life. All of the sudden, he purposely lifted his entire arm and was grasping for his mommys. This precious moment made me think about the times when we are all in need. All we have to do is reach out and grasp for God and he will be there. I nally felt hope I knew God was going to heal him. Slowly, he started to make some improvements. He opened his eyes, and even began peeing and pooping on his own. He also started moving just a bit more everyday. The doctors began to try to wean him off of machines and take the chest tubes out, but it only lasted for a few hours and they would have to replace it all. Two steps forward, one step back. That was the type of progress little Cyrus was making. At eight days old Cyruss cousin Garret called into a local radio show to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas. When the DJs answered, he said he wanted a Lego dragon set and then he added that he would like for his Aunt Rose to be able to hold her baby for Christmas. Last, but not least, he asked for God to heal Cyrus. The Santa on the radio was taken back a bit. With a teary voice he said his elves couldnt help with that but hed ask for everyone to pray. That night, our daughter Marie brought her kids up to the NICU so she could she Cyrus for the rst time. Everyone gathered in the lobby and we asked Garrett to tell Rose and Anthony what hed asked Santa for on the radio he said the Lego dragon set part, but then he got really shy about the rest of his request. We promoted him again and he started to get tears in his eyes. Then, he choked the words out I asked God to heal Cyrus. I felt this shift in the atmosphere as those words came out of his mouth. It was a type of release and there was not a dry eye in the

place. I then knew for sure that God was going to miraculously heal Cyrus. Also that evening, we had dinner with my sister and we asked our eight year old niece Lucile to pray over dinner and she asked God to put his hand on Cyrus and make him better. Once again, I felt this release in the atmosphere...all because of the faith of a child. Within the next few days, things moved quickly. They took Cyrus off the Oscillator, then off the ventilator. His body started to push out one of the chest tubes so they pulled that out as well and then they started to wean him off of oxygen. Cyrus quickly went from having two nurses to one nurse going in and out. They soon pulled out the rest of the chest tubes, took out the pik line, and just put in a feeding tube. It was a miracle before our very eyes. Doctors and nurses who had taken care of him were amazed at his progress. Some even used the word miracle to describe it! They began to feed him with a bottle using moms breast milk. It was a slow process as he got very tired very easily, but he started getting the hang of it. They did an MRI, EEG, ECHO, blood tests and found that there was nothing wrong with this baby....hallelujah! At twenty three days old, Cyrus was able to go home weighing nine pounds four ounces. One doctor said there was nothing wrong with him any more and he might as well go home. I think back on those days and the times when I was trying to talk to Rose and be rational about things and the reality of the situation. Instead of listening to me, she would say I dont want to hear it. I kept thinking, Oh the poor thing doesnt want to face reality. Maybe in reality, I was the one not trusting in my own faith! I will never forget that feeling I got when Garret asked God to heal Cyrus....his innocence, his faith that God would do it. Right after he prayed, he went off and played like...ok God has this. It was that simple in his mind. He had turned it over to God and he trusted that that was all he needed to do. Or when Lucille prayed for God to have his hand on Cyrus and then right afterward started eating in the same manner. It was as if those children were saying, No big deal, God has this. Through this experience, I learned one of the biggest lessons I could have ever learned about God. And I learned it through the faith of children. God help me to have that child like faith, to just trust you with everything, to not waste my time worrying or fretting, to just pray and then just trust. Thank you God for totally healing Cyrus and for letting us SEE it.

Chapter 6 What have I learned about God through children? Thats an interesting question, as my children are constantly teaching me so much through who they are and who they are not. Every day I am a little more amazed at the wonderful creations they are. Children are lled with life and graciousness. My kids are willing to forgive me when I make mistakes and do not hold it against me. Making numerous mistakes is something to be counted on when youre a mother. Forgiveness: Right away when my kids were born, I knew I would be asking for forgiveness often. As being a perfect parent was top of my list, I knew it was unrealistic. Losing my temper or being frustrated when I could not get something right, usually wound up in me talking to the kids seeking their forgiveness. It is important to me to ask them and not assume they know that I am sorry or that it is ne if I lost my temper because I am their mother. To me, it is just not right to treat someone badly and then never apologize or make amends. Amends are crucial if a relationship is to stay strong and grow. The same goes for the kids in the other direction. When they commit a blunder and make their humanly mistakes, by doing something to hurt me or make me sad, I have already forgiven them before they even ask. I can not think of a single thing I would not forgive them for. This tells me a lot about God. I used to think He was standing in heaven looking down on me in His majestic robes, arms tightly crossed, foot tapping, nger pointing, Look at you, you made a mistake, I knew you would. Way to go, now I will punish you! As silly as that may sound, it was the vision in my head, but as a parent I have learned that it is not possible for God, who is love, to feel that way about me. When I come to Him with my broken promises or angry words, He has already found it in His heart to let it go, wash it away. Not point His nger at me and say He told me so. I love that I have learned that, as aside from being a parent, I do not think I would have learned it any other way. Mistakes: We all know that mistakes are a part of life, but it is easy to be too hard on ourselves when we falter. My children are no different, when they bring their accidents or mishaps to me, I do not rub their faces in it, but instead I want to gure out how I can show them that they can turn it into a learning opportunity, personal growth and something for their good.

Often they do not want to hear about the lesson involved, but instead whether or not they are in trouble and want to move on to the next thing. All too often that is my response to God also. I want to bring Him my failures and have Him just x it and then let me get on to the next thing, I do not want to spend a bunch of time learning anything or getting a lecture about my actions. As a parent I know that if I love my kids and care anything about their future, then I simply cannot allow them to make mistakes and not learn a lesson from them. So when they come to me, not only is my heart ready to receive them and has their utmost best interest in mind, but I desire to teach them and help them grown. Will I x problems for them? Absolutely. Will I take away the hard blow that comes with some failures? Denitely! I will soften it and sometimes take it away, but being able to remove consequences from every mistake is not reality. The world has a way of teaching us lessons we cannot prevent from our failures. When those things happen, my heart grieves for them, cries with them and is there to hold them up with my love. Just as God does for us. Sure He can do anything, but is that realistic for us to bring our problems to Him and expect Him to remove all consequences from our mistakes? What about our intentional mistakes? Should He remove all consequences from them? Is that really a responsible thing to expect from God? God is not a genie in a bottle or a vending machine. As the days, weeks and months go by we walk by that machine, never putting time, or effort into getting anything out of the vending machine relationship and then expect it to spit out what we want, when we want it! Is that the God you serve? God is a father. Any father or mother would want their child to not take advantage of something or use a thing only for their own selsh purposes. On the other hand, if your child was away and did not speak to you often, would you turn them away when they came home? Or called you on the phone? Would you give a lecture about where they have been, why they have not been talking to you? Or would you celebrate and tell them you are glad they called? I have a feeling that what God does, is He celebrates us, when we come to Him. Like the example of the prodigal son, when he came home he was celebrated and loved. So the times when I am away from God and I choose not to talk to Him for days, months, or years, I should not allow my own insecurities keep me from coming to Him. Instead I should run to Him as quickly as possible, the moment I realize I should. Unanswered Prayers: What is an unanswered prayer? Is it silence from heaven? Is it a No answer? Or perhaps getting something we Did Not want? Unanswered prayers can be interpreted in many ways. I personally have been on the receiving side of things when I have gotten many No answers. I have struggled with wondering if God cared at all or if He is even remotely interested in my life and my problems. So I consider my children and put them in my shoes for a minute. When I tell them No! it is not to harm them or keep them from the wondrous pleasures of life. It is to give them the very best from life, not the worst. Of course it may seem that way, but it is just not the case. As an adult I have

lived life much longer than them and I understand things differently, more maturely and I can see sides of the situation more clearly then they can. Last night for example, my son wanted to play video games and did not want to go to bed. If I allow him to stay up as late as he wants and then wake him up in the morning for school, what do you think will happen? Lets say he goes to bed at 11 or 12 midnight. I typically wake him up around 7:30 am for school. Will he be well rested and prepared for learning? Probably not! In fact he will most likely be in a bad mood and not have the patience to sit in class and quietly absorb the information. The other thing he likes to do is get up early to play video games. If I allow him to stay up late and get up early, then what am I really saying? That his health and well being do not come rst, but his desire to be entertained. At his age, he cannot see what I see and know what I know. So I have to set the limits and say no when it is needed. Just like God, who knows everything. There are so many things that happen in my life that I grunt and complain and then turn over to Him and wonder where the heck He is? Had God even bothered to listen to my multiple requests to help me get a certain job? Or a certain relationship? Or move into a certain house or neighborhood? What is your question to God that you want to know why He has not answered you? Maybe he has just said No! Maybe He is not being silent at all. It is quite possible that when I am angry, when I have not gotten an answer, or what seems like an answer, that it is because all along God said No in his gently quiet voice and I just chose not to listen. So what happens then when my son does not turn off the video game system, staying up late, getting up early? Do I simply allow it to continue, knowing he is affecting his health negatively? Or do I walk over to the game system and turn it off because I love him so much and I will never allow him to hurt or damage himself. What has God turned off in your life? Fullled Promises: Are there any promises that have been made to you that have not been kept? Does it bother you? Do you think about it often? Maybe the promise of a parent or signicant other? As a parent, any promise I make to my kids, weighs on me and remains in my mind until I fulll it. It is extremely important to me to do my very best to bring every promise to pass, to not allow any item left undone. I do not want my kids to grow up and have to get over their childhood. I want them to have a peaceful home without the need to be healed from past wounds. If I unintentionally break a promise, or for some unforeseen reason am not able to give my kids what I said I would, I work hard to make it up to them. If Ive completely forgotten about a promise and my kids bring it to my attention, being patient and kind in my response is crucial. I was the one who promised it, I should not be angry or respond in a negative way, but instead reassure them I will fulll

my promise and then make a point to get to it right away. Most of the time even doing more than I originally said I would. In the same way God has promised to keep his word. If He has told us He will do something, He will. When I come to Him frustrated that He hasnt done as He promised, I have to stop and evaluate if it is just my perception that is off or if it is that God truly has not done as He said He would do. If He cannot lie then the promises He has made to me He will keep. I just have to trust Him. Knowing how important keeping promises is to me, and I am a fallen creature, then the importance of promises to God, must be paramount. Fullling promises to a child or others can be tricky at times. When I tell my children I will take care of their every need, it may not be in a fashion that they would have chosen. Vegetables are not the most popular item at the dinner table, but they are crucial to a healthy body and mind. Serving them for my children to eat is one of the ways I provide for their needs even though they may disagree that I am keeping a promise. For some reason it is popular among my children to wear only a tshirt, jeans and socks outside to play in the winter. I am constantly telling them to put on their jackets, hats, boots and gloves. They may strongly disagree that I am actually keeping a promise when I ask them to do these things. In fact they often disagree. In the same way God keeps promises for us. Whether He is asking us to do something we do not want to do or puts us in situations we do not like, He is keeping His promises. What promises do you think God hasnt kept for you? Do you think God has an obligation to keep His promises to you? If it is true that I am a loving parent and that I want the very best for my children, then I have an obligation to keep the promises I make to my kids. In closing: In closing, I nd myself wondering what things I need to focus on for today. Is there a promise I need to keep? Or a prayer I need to say? Perhaps I need to make amends to someone special. I will have to sit and ponder on it for a few minutes before I decide. Are there any promises you have not kept? Do you need o make amends with a special person in your life? Are you putting it off? Why? Making amends can be scary and intimidating. It can easily set us off kilter and cause us to think we are no good or there is no chance of hope left in the situation. My kids have taught me that there is always hope, always a new day, always a chance to make things right. If you are reading this, then maybe today is the day to do what you have been putting off, to do what your heart is telling you. Trust that God will lead the way and it will all turn alright, that hope will show up when you least expect it.