Curriculum Resource

Curriculum theme: Focus of activity: Resource name: Equality & Diversity Issue of the Month: LGBT History Month LGBT Case Studies (Session 4 of 4)

Resources and Materials:

ECM Outcomes: Be Healthy

Timing: 30 mins

Stay safe Enjoy & Achieve Make a positive contribution Achieve economic well-being Equality

Purpose: Youth workers work with young people to develop their knowledge and understanding of issues relating to equal opportunities, and the shared responsibilities we have within this, both morally and legally. Aim: Use real life case studies to look at and explore LGBT related issues that can affect young people and encourage discussion about attitudes, beliefs and experiences relating to LGBT issues. Underpinning youth work principles, values and ethics: Challenging; encouraging young people to understand their legal and social rights, and to exercise them within safe and supported settings. Empowering; equipping young people with the necessary skills and support to tackle their own issues. Background reading: Local context:

http://www.leeds-switchboard.org.uk/
http://queermutinynorth.wordpress.com/

http://www.gayleeds.com/

Fiona's Story
I love my Dads more than anything in the world and would never, ever trade them. But having same-sex parents was something that no-one else at my school was familiar with and I have been bullied a lot. Before I started school, I didn't realise my parents were different than anybody else's. My Dads raised me as any other parents would. It wasn't until school that I really realised how different my family was from other children's. Everyone always drew pictures of their "Mummy and Daddy" and found it hard to understand that I was drawing "My Daddies." Bullied I was called names a lot and pushed over on the playground. When my Dad came to pick me up after school, kids would point and laugh, whispering things behind his back. Back then my Dad was a homemaker, and the "Mums" would swarm him and ask really awkward questions. They described him as "the woman in the relationship", which made him really uncomfortable. Dealing with ignorance Other girls got it into their heads that having gay parents would make me gay, so they wouldn't let me into the girls' changing rooms sometimes and pushed me out of the girls' toilets. The teachers were amazing though and very good at preventing most of the bullying. Unfortunately there were always some ignorant people. In secondary school, kids were a lot more tolerant of homosexuality, but kept asking me awkward questions. I really didn't want to answer them and be the centre of this unwanted attention, but they wouldn't let me go until I did. One time a girl asked me if I was adopted, and when I said I wasn't she said I must be and kept pestering me about it until I cried.

Fionas Story Fiona has same sex parents, what does the phrase same sex parents mean to you? How important do you think gender is to parenting? How important do you think sexuality is to parenting? Why would all the other girls not let her into the toilets and changing room? What do you think of this behaviour? Would this happen at a school in Leeds? The other mums called the home making dad the woman in the relationship. Why do you think that would make him feel uncomfortable? Are there female and male roles in relationships? Is it right that some work is perceived as male and some female? Is adoption the only option for same sex couples who want to have children? Is it fair that Fiona is the victim of homophobic bullying? Why would other people bully her for having same sex parents? Would that happen at a school in Leeds? If you were Fionas friend, what would you do to help and support her?

Fionas story is true and here is how she ends her story
Positives There are a lot of people at my school who believe that two men shouldn't raise a child, but I think I've turned out fine. My homemaker Dad has a job now, so they're actually thinking about having another kid I hope they do! I've met my real mother, but she's just like a friend to me, like she is to my Dads. I don't know which of my Dads is my biological father and I don't want to know. They both mean so much to me and I love them more than anything.
Taken from the BBC website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/slink/real-life/stories/i-have-same-sex-parents

Ella's story
I met Christopher one summer at a youth club, and it was like a magical moment, like in a movie or something. He bought me a coke and we spoke for hours, trading stories and making each other laugh. Hes really funny, like my own private comedian. But even then I noticed other people looking at us weirdly (at the time I thought it as just because he has bright blue hair!). When it was time to go home my friend pulled me outside and told me to stay away from him. I asked why and she just said: That kids a weirdo, okay? Just stay away. Getting close A few weeks later, I saw him in town, his hair made him stand out a little. I was alone this time, so we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet again. When I started school again in the new term, he would come and walk me home. He cheered me up when I was upset and continued to make me laugh. Christopher would walk me home almost every day, but when my friend saw us together, she told him to stay away from me and made her mum give me a lift home after that. I thought it was nice of her mum, but I didnt know what was so wrong with Christopher. Eventually I asked him, but he got really embarrassed and said that he had got into a fight with my friends brother. I kept seeing him outside of school (away from my friends) and a few weeks after that we started going out. Falling out with friends Christopher was and still is the nicest sweetest boy Ive ever been out with, but I did wonder why he was so body conscious. He even swam with his shirt on.

After a few months I told my friend that I was dating Christopher. I knew she would be mad, but I never expected such an explosion. She yelled at me for ages asking why I was so stupid, telling me to get out while I still could. I asked what was so wrong with him, as I didnt think she would be this angry over a fight with her brother. She said she would not tell me because I would be upset. Later I went to meet Christopher, and found out that my friends brother and his friends had beaten him up. After that I didnt speak to her again. After year 11 ended I decided to go to Christophers college instead of the one most of my friends were going to. What was wrong? In college Christopher and I were always together and I loved spending so much time with him. I made some new friends there who got along with me and Christopher. But from the beginning of term Christopher kept telling me that he had something to tell me, but he kept getting nervous when he tried to. I told him he could tell me anything. He said he believed me but was still hesitant about telling me what was up. The truth One night I went home and my mother said she had to talk to me. She told me that my ex-friend had come over and told her that I was seeing a girl. I said I wasnt and that I was with Christopher. She believed me of course, but gave me a little speech that she wouldnt care if I was gay. I said I wasnt - I was straight and with Christopher. A few days later when I was staying over at Christophers I told him that someone had told my mother that I was gay and dating a girl. I thought Christopher would laugh at it with me, but instead he got up and started pacing. I asked him what was wrong and he burst into tears. He told me that he was born a girl.

Ellas Story What things seem different or weird about Christopher? How do you feel about the way people in the story talk about and treat Chris? What does the word transgender mean? If one of your friends was going on a date with a transgender person who they really fancied what would you say to them? What advice would you give? Why did Ellas friends brother beat Chris up? Do you think that this is a common experience for transgender young people? Why do you think it is so hard for Chris to tell Ella the truth? What would you do now if you were Ella? Do you think that Chris or Ella are bullied? If so how and in what way? How does homophobia affect this story?

Ellas story is true and here is how it ends

Still with him I was shocked of course, but not as shocked as I thought I would have been. Everything made sense, my friends telling me to stay clear, him being so conscious about his body and I noticed that he was a lot shorter than the other boys. But I knew that I loved him so I knew it didnt matter and nothing would change. I kissed him and told him that I would still be with him. We talk about it sometimes and he showed me pictures of him when he was little. I dont care if people doubt my sexuality anymore, even though it used to bug me. I know that Im straight and I have a straight boyfriend. I told my mother about him (with Christophers permission) and I was surprised to hear her say she was proud of me. Never doubt your mothers support, ladies! Christopher and I are still together and I hope we are for a very long time. People make all sorts of jokes at us, but I'm proud to say Christopher is my boyfriend, born in a female body, with the bright blue hair!
Taken from the BBC website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/slink/real-life/stories/my-boyfriend-was-born-a-girl

Alice's Story
I was born a boy named Alan in a Christian family. My Mum had died, so it was my Dad, my older brothers and my little sister. I'm only two years older than my sister Jennifer and we have always got on well. When we were younger we used to play with dolls together. My brother Chris would laugh and take pictures and play around, but my Dad acted like I was a freak and would yell at me, separate me from my sister and tell me to go and play ball games with my brothers. Alice But I didn't stop. It was what I wanted, so I carried on playing with dolls. In fact, when I was seven Chris bought me my own doll, but of course told me not to tell Dad. Jennifer and I had a lot of friends, and their favourite game was to dress me up in their clothes and put make-up on me. When I first looked into the mirror, in a pink party dress with my hair in pigtails and my eyelids blue, that was the first time 'Alice' stared back at me and I felt like myself. It sounded really cheesy to me at the time and still does now, but it was actually quite emotional. For over a year I would get up at night, put on my sister's clothes and look at Alice again. Of course, at that time no-one called me Alice, but that's who I felt I was. I asked my Dad if I could move out of my brother's room and share with my sister. He didn't like the idea, but my brothers backed me up, so he let me share until I was eleven. This way it was easy for me to steal her clothes and become the girl I felt like. Discovered After a year, my eldest brother Gary walked in on me dressed up. He beat me up and called me names. I was only nine and really confused. I was confused over how I was feeling and everything that was happening and why I was a boy if this was what I wanted and how I felt. Alice Gary told our Dad, who didn't beat me up like Gary did, but he did smack me and yell at me a lot. He's a devout Catholic and he thought what I was doing was wrong. I cried a lot that day, but I had Chris and Jennifer to comfort me. Chris told me then that he'd always thought I was transgender and explained to me what it meant.

It was a little too much for me to understand being so small, but it did sound right. Chris also said that when I got older there would be help for me and that he would help me feel safer. Since I was bullied so much at school, I was home schooled during primary, but I really wanted to go to school and try and make friends. My Dad wouldn't let me go to the youth club with Jennifer and Chris, because he said I embarrassed them (even though it was obviously he who was embarrassed). Secondary school My Dad let me go to secondary school in Year 9 and I started to make a few friends, mostly girls who saw me as an effeminate man, but boys would still beat me up and call me names. Half way through the year, I began wearing the girl's uniform and wearing make-up to school so they phoned my dad. That time he did beat me up, and it hurt much more than when Gary had. By now Gary and Chris had grown up, Chris in college, and they both defended me and explained that I was transgender. But Dad said something about 'sin' and 'Satan' that to this day I still don't understand. Alice He made sure I always went to church every Sunday, even if I was really sick, and told me that he was going to find a therapist to change me. When I was 15, Dad told all this to my Aunt Mary (mother's sister) and she was shocked and had a massive go at him, telling him how there was nothing wrong with me and that I was probably transgender. After that I went to live with her, and things got a little better for me. I had my own room (painted pink!) and decorated how I wanted it - it looked just like a girl's room. My Aunt took me to a therapist who diagnosed me with gender disorder, and told me about my options. Then my Aunt told me that when my mum was pregnant with me, she thought I was going to be a girl and had even made a list of girl's names for me, which my Aunt still had. Alice was third on that list and that was the name I chose. When I started at my new school, my Aunt made sure that I was called Alice and that I was able to wear the girl's uniform. I was still bullied a lot and made to use the boys toilets and do P.E with the boys, but it was better that it ever could have been living with my dad, and my Aunt made several complaints about the bullying. Jennifer and Chris visit me every other weekend and Gary every month, although I haven't spoken to my Dad since I left.

Alices story When Alice is still Alan at the start of the story and his dad wont let him play with dolls, dress up in girls clothes or play with his sister and her friends, how do you think it makes Alan feel? Why did her dad do that? How does Chris treat Alice and what do you think of their relationship? What do you think the word transgender means? What does Gary do when he finds Alan dressing up as Alice? What would you do if you found a younger brother dressing as the opposite gender? What about a sister? Why wouldnt her dad let him go to the youth club her brothers and sister went to? What does Alices dad do when she starts going to school dressed as a girl? How do you think the other pupils reacted? What does Alices Aunt do when she finds out what is going on? Whose response is better? Dad or Aunt? What changes happen for Alice when she lives with her aunt? How is her relationship with her dad, brothers and sister now? How do you think transgender people are treated at schools in Leeds?

Alices story is true and here is how it ends

When I was sixteen, I started getting my hormones and my wonderful, amazing Aunt is saving up for gender reassignment surgery! Now I'm at college, where a few people annoy me but that's it, and I have a bisexual boyfriend who knows all about me. Things look great for me now and for the future, even if my dad didn't support me, I still had my Aunt who I now owe everything to. I'm also very glad that I've become friends with Gary, and I'm going to be a bridesmaid at his wedding in a few months! Being transgender is hard and very scary, but try talking to your siblings, close friends or even an Aunt! You can still have a bright future and things will get better, I promise!
Taken for the BBC website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/slink/real-life/stories/i-am-transgender