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Changing Constructions of Machismo for Latino Men in Therapy: The Devil Never Sleeps
CELIA JAES FALICOV, PH.D. n All abstracts are available in Spanish and Mandarin Chinese on Wiley Online Library (http:// onlinelibrary.wiley.com/journal/10.1111/(ISSN)1545-5300). Please pass this information on to your international colleagues and students.

This paper presents current narratives about masculinity that question simplistic negative stereotypes of machismo for Latino heterosexual men. Various models of masculinity within Latino cultures are described using evidence from ethnographic studies, research data, and clinical observation. Therapeutic advantages of including positive cultural masculine traits such as respect and dignity are illustrated with an extensive case study. The case highlights contradictions in the coexistence of constructions of masculinity and traces progressive stages for transforming these constructions. In this strength-based approach, attention is directed to elements of cultural memory that reclaim a strong relational ethic present in the indigenous cultures. Within the culture denitions of masculinity contribute alternative constructions toward a more empowering cultural narrative for Latino men than the usual negative stereotypes. Keywords: Engaging Latino Men in Therapy; Multiple Masculinities; Alternative Discourses to Machismo; Strength-Based Constructs for Latino Men; Treating Humiliation and Shame Fam Proc 49:309329, 2010
El hombre es fuego la mujer estofa, viene el Diablo y sopla. En el hombre, el Diablo nunca duerme . . .: The man is re, the woman straw, the devil blows and ignites it. In the man, the devil never sleeps . . .. (Mexican saying dating from the Spanish Conquest [my translation])

or several decades, social scientists and popular culture have persisted in their fascination with machismo or the cult of manliness among Latino men from various backgrounds (Daz-Guerrero, 1975; Echanove Trujillo, 1973; Paredes, 1966; Paz, 1961; Penalosa, 1968; Ramos, 1962; Stevens, 1973; Thompson, 1991). In the prototypical description of machismo, the better man is the one who can drink the most, sire the most sons, defend himself the most, dominate his wife, and command
n Director of Psychological and Counseling Services, University of California San Diego Student-Run Free Clinic Project and Independent Practice, San Diego, CA.

Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Celia Jaes Falicov, 3551 Front Street, San Diego, CA 92103. E-mail: cfalicov@ucsd.edu 309

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the absolute respect of his children. It is also part of the conguration to have strong sexual drives and seek variety in sexual relationships, while being possessive and jealous toward the faithful wife. The old saying The Devil Never Sleeps refers to this seemingly incurable or insatiable drive for seduction and the picaresque side of men who cannot stop themselves from thinking and acting on devilish thoughts in the presence of women. The monolithic simplications embedded in the machismo mystique are increasingly being questioned by contemporary constructions of Latino heterosexual masculinity. These alternative constructions emerge primarily from the past 20 years of Latino scholarship based on ethnographic and research ndings in psychology, sociology, and migration studies (Casas, Wagenheim, Banchero, & Mendoza-Romero, 1994; De La Cancela, 1991; Gutmann, 1996; Mirande, 1997; Torres, Solberg, & Carlstrom, 2002). My observations of rst- and second-generation Latino men in individual, couple, and family therapy also support a much wider and more complex range of multiple masculinities than the machismo stereotype. The emergence of selfhelp movements by Latino men focused on concepts of masculinity also draws into question unitary homogeneous depictions of mens values and behaviors (Carrillo & Goubaud-Reyna, 1998; Tello, 1998). In this paper I examine changing constructions of Latino masculinity with a view to their useful applications in therapy. Several authors (Bepko, Almeida, Messineo, & Stevenson, 1998; De La Cancela, 1986) have pointed out the need for a focus on constructs of masculinity among men of color. By highlighting strength-based aspects of masculinity in what has been so far a pathological or decit oriented view, alternative constructions can help counteract therapists negative preconceptions about Latino men that may prematurely or incorrectly inuence engagement and treatment decisions. An extensive case illustrates the theoretical and treatment steps of changing relational views of masculinity held by the client and therapist and the liberating effects of resisting stereotypes and honoring personal choices.

CHALLENGING THE GRAND NARRATIVE OF MACHISMO

In social constructionism, a metanarrative, sometimes known as a grand narrative, is an abstract idea that is thought to be a comprehensive explanation of knowledge regarding a topic. Machismo can be seen as a grand narrative about Latino mens cultural history, social experiences, and gender behavior that promotes an essentialist view of masculinity. Many theories have been advanced to understand the origins of machismo. These theories include a biologic explanation about mens hard-wired inclinations (Ingoldsby, 1985); patriarchal entitlement theories (Torres, 1998; Torres et al., 2002); patriarchy as reinforced by Roman Catholic doctrine (Walsh, 2010); psychoanalytic explanations appealing to an unsolvable Oedipus theme (Sequeira, 2009) or a reaction formation to formalized religion (Nolan, 1976). Some theories present the idea that machismo traits may be a colonial inheritance from the Spanish conquest of Latin America (Glick & Fiske, 2001; Mirande, 1997; Monfort Tomas, 1985) sometimes referred to as conquest trauma (Ramos, 1962). Others have argued for a social class inequity compensation theory, whereby disempowered men express in the domestic domain their frustrated need for power by oppressing women (Hondagneu-Sotelo & Messner, 1997; Pena, 1991).
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Current scholarship obtained by ethnographic and research data and by critical theory provides evidence to challenge the claim of a grand narrative of negative machismo and the need to include variables of migration, race, class, work, urban or rural locations, stage of the life cycle, and family organization and ideology.

Internalized Dominant or Hegemonic Representations of Masculinity

To the extent that dominant culture and sociopolitical variables shape cognition, affect, and behavior, the contents of machismo have become part of mens (and womens) cultural self or cultural identity, that is the socially prescribed images that one struggles to fulll because they have become internalized as the public ideal. Although Latino mens socialization has traditionally incorporated patriarchal images of power, seduction and domination and some machismo traits may be observed in Latino men in different degrees, this recognition need not embrace a grand narrative of machismo as the primary description of Latino men.

Popular Culture Representations of Latino Masculinity

According to Mirande (1997) and Arciniega, Anderson, Tovar-Blank, and Tracey (2008), the extreme images of Latino men as daring, arrogant, unpredictable, and lustful were introduced to the New World by Spanish conquistadores who embodied many of these traits themselves. El Diablo Nunca Duerme, the devil never sleeps, is what the Indians said about the Spanish: the White devil is up to no good, always stealing, pilfering and taking our women. The term machismo, however, seems to have a much shorter history. According to Carlos Monsivais, a well-known Mexican cultural critic (cited by Gutmann, 1996, and by De la Mora, 2006), the word machismo dates back to the ethnoindustry launched during the Golden era of Mexican cinema in the 1950s. These movies created images and myths that invented and bolstered national identities and were later perpetuated for export. A central gure of these movies is the irascible Mexican bandido with pistols and sombrero ready to shoot for his honor and to get or regain the woman of his dreams. This image is perpetuated and stylized in American movies of the same period ` which showed Latin characters a la Rudolfo Valentino with hair slicked back, nostrils aring, gliding across the oor, courting one damsel or another. Applying Critical Cultural Theory, a discipline concerned with the production of meaning in everyday practices, Gutmann (1996) and De La Mora (2006) suggest that although the popular culture portraits of Latino men are framed in a quaint and almost jocular manner, these practices really convey a denigrating view that can be seen as a prejudicial, racist construction about minority men. While watching these movies, as well as in my clinical practice, I have observed many characters that offer alternative positive portrayals of Latino masculinity. However, these characterizations have not received the attention that the negative construction has acquired over time. Almost invariably, in addition to the Mexican cowboy type who is ruthless, vengeful, and downgrading of women, there are other male characters depicted as honest, humble, and hard working. Films by the acclaimed classic directors Emilio Fernandez and Pedro Infante provide good examples of additional noble characters that work hard to support a widowed mother, or rescue the fallen honor of a sister or work day and night to provide a home for many siblings.
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Interestingly, those decent movie characters have not become cultural stereotypes, perhaps because they are not as charismatic as the macho Mexicano or do not uphold the glamorous Latin stereotype. One might speculate whether this oversight is based on the need to reinforce the prejudice that all Latinos are uncontrollable machos or perhaps, whether glamorizing the mean characters projects the disavowed masculine fantasies of American audiences. It seems possible that machismo as an overarching cultural grand narrative may have been more prevalent in the past and may have always represented a partial and limited description of the varieties of masculinity in various countries, regions, subgroups, and individual narratives. Current studies challenge the overgeneralization of machismo by documenting a wide range of variation in mens stories and behaviors and by observing many indicators of cultural transition brought about by the immigrant experience and by changes in the countries of origin.

Multiple Masculinities, Gender Renegotiations, and Local Patriarchies

Latino immigrants come from Latin-American countries where there have been signicant cultural and social evolutions precipitated by womens increased rights and economic power in the larger social structure and the attendant gradual ideological shifts (Gutmann, 2003; Vigoya, 2003). Changes continue to occur as a result of migration as well. Multiple masculinities In a working class neighborhood of Mexico City, an ethnographic study (Gutmann, 1996) centered on the meanings of machismo found men who spoke loud and aggressively and men who spoke softly and quietly; men with relative sexual disinterest and others with high interest. The informants also talked of married women who were domineering and had several sexual partners when their husbands were away. Some men ardently believed in delity while others felt it was acceptable to cheat once or twice but not all the time. When I inquire about their fathers involvement with their wives and families when they were growing up, my Latina women and men clients report at least as many, if not more, positive as they do negative qualities. It appears that Latino men, like White men, live in a culture of masculinities in which each man expresses his maleness in a unique way, as a blend of mainstream cultural expectations along with alternative features or behaviors (Brod, 1987; Gareld, 2010; Gutmann, 2003). Gender renegotiations Gender relations also undergo continual renegotiation as immigrant women and men rebuild their families in the United States (Maciel, Van Putten, & KnudsonMartin, 2009). Several factors, such as differences between the sending and the receiving country with respect to womens increased economic opportunities, the decreased inuence of the Catholic Church on control of fertility, and the U.S. legal protections against family violence, facilitate immigrant womens striving toward a more modern type of marriage based on greater trust, intimacy, and sexual love (Hirsch, 2003; Hondagneu-Sotelo, 1994). Mens reactions to these new expectations vary from becoming more entrenched in old denitions of sex roles to slowly embracing new ways of being and behaving toward women.
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Local patriarchies A study of Latino immigrant men and women from different countries living in Los Angeles questioned the existence of a homogeneous patriarchal discourse. Interviews conducted by Gonzalez-Lopez (2005) revealed regional patriarchies, that is regionally consistent patterns and locally dened gender constructions. These patterns of patriarchy are shaped by the socioeconomic and power dynamics and the varied cultural histories of each local region in the countries of origin. Regional patriarchies are further organized into rural patriarchies and urban patriarchies. The former term identies more intense expressions of patriarchy and gender inequality found in small provincial locations in the sending countries. The latter term identies the disguised or deemphasized gender inequalities more commonly seen in urban metropolises, such as Mexico City (Gonzalez-Lopez, 2005). Local gender constructions are also evident in the transnational communities that immigrants belong to in the United States. These communities play two fundamental roles. First, they update their members as to new developments in the local communities of origin because immigrants go back and forth carrying information from here to there and vice versa. Second, these communities also help reconstruct new meanings attached to love, sexuality, and gender identities through witnessing and engaging in conversations among immigrant women, and to a lesser extent among men, who share information, opinions, and protective advice (Gonzalez-Lopez, 2005; Hondagneu-Sotelo, 1994). Replacing grand, universal narratives with small local narratives is a rst step to understanding individual narratives. Furthermore, awareness about local narratives used exibly can diminish stereotypes and expand therapists and clients views during therapeutic conversations.

AMPLIFYING THE RELATIONAL MEANINGS OF MASCULINITY

New studies provide data to move from traditional conceptions to current realities about Latino masculinities. Progressive approaches to Latino masculinities are of fered in the work of Mirande (1997) and the analysis provided by Torres et al. (2002) and Arciniega et al. (2008). They propose that male gender roles represent multidimensional behaviors that fall on a continuum from positive to negative. These authors also suggest that it would be useful to see Latino mens behaviors within the context of other Latino ideologies such as familismo, dignity, honor, and family pride. These studies contribute to an amplication of relational meanings of machismo that includes many positive elements not addressed previously (Arciniega et al., 2008; Casas et al., 1994; De La Cancela, 1991; Mirande, 1997; Torres, 1998; Torres et al., 2002).

Negative and Positive Qualities of Machismo

A study of subjective meanings of masculinity based on 101 in-depth interviews with Latino men (Mirande, 1997) conducted in several locations in California and Texas found two polar and conicting images of manhood. The negative attributes (machista or false masculinity) included bravado, violence, selshness, disrespect, irresponsibility, and cowardliness. The positive attributes (hombre, i.e., man or authentic masculinity) included bravery, respect, responsibility, and altruism toward their families and less fortunate members of society. Other researchers have pointed
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out positive aspects of machismo such as honor, respect, responsibility, generosity, and loyalty (Coltrane & Valdez, 1997; Marn & Marn, 1991). According to historical documents (Mirande, 1997) the negative images correspond roughly to the Spanish conquistadores who embodied many of these traits and the positive description corresponds to the Indian conception of manhood. Rather than brazen, boastful, and vain, Indian men were socialized to be humble and contrite. Prudence and moderation were expected in all realms including carnal life. In Mirandes research, the majority of the respondents did not identify with machismo because they saw it as a negative, false form of masculinity, based on external qualities. What mattered were the internal strengths of ones character such as perseverance in the face of adversity. The respondents called the sexist, boisterous, and selsh type a machista, while the quietly strong, dignied, and noble man was called hombre (man) and sometimes hombre de verdad (a true man). The idea that the positive qualities are the authentic cultural strengths that should be the guidelines for a mans behavior is embodied by Tellos (1998) proposal to use the term Noble Man as the counterpart to Machista. Andres Nazarios discussion (Bepko et al., 1998) of the different words used by n Latino men and women to describe different types of men is helpful: varo (male), that is strong, virile, protective, irresponsible, uncontrollable, and a womanizer; hombre (man), that is respectful and protective of women and family, self-sacricing, sexual, self-absorbed, socially and politically motivated; and macho (male animal), that is aggressive, brutal, vulgar, drinks excessively, and denigrates women. These different meanings of being a man add complexity and subtlety for discussion in therapy settings. In Spanish, I asked a client if his reluctance to tell his wife and children about his plans for everybody to return to their country was a sign of him being un hom bre, un varon, or un macho? The client found the shorthand of terms amusing and revealing in the process of guring out his relational motives and skills. A nonSpanish-speaking therapist might ask the client for the various names he might use to describe masculinity and which of those he is aspiring to be.

Showing Emotions
In the realm of affection, the prototypical image of men as aggressive, assertive, and cold, that is, not showing emotions, is more consistent with certain Anglo than with Latino representations of masculinity (Rambo, Superman, or Batman, or even John Wayne) (Mirande, 1997). Among Latinos it is permissible and desirable for men to be affectionate, show tender feelings, kiss and hug including male children and close friends. While crying per se still seems to be a taboo, reinforced by parents when raising boys (Gutmann, 1996), it is interesting that male characters in classic Mexican movies openly express many emotions and may cry profusely out of joy or sadness (De La Mora, 2006). This display of emotions is quite different than the expectation that men should be stoic, silent, and in control that has characterized Hollywoods representations of maleness (Mulvey, 1989). Unlike numerous observations of White mens emotional constriction and difculties with open expression of feelings in therapy (Gareld, 2010; Wexler, 2009), I nd that Latino immigrant men in therapy are often quite capable of showing positive and negative emotions, without much embarrassment over these displays.
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Hostile Sexism and Benevolent Sexism

Sometimes the description of historical roots of machismo points to a quixotic ideal of chivalry that assigns to men the role of protectors of women and children (Glick & Fiske, 2001). Another research study (Arciniega et al., 2008) distinguishes between traditional machismo and caballerismo (i.e., chivalry) which denotes masculinity as afliation and emotional connectedness as well as respectful manners and gallantry, particularly toward women. Glick and Fiske (2001) used the terms hostile sexism and benevolent sexism to refer to ideologies present in patriarchal societies. Hostile sexism refers to the idea that women need to be dominated and mistrusted because they are thought to have hidden powers or cunning ways. In benevolent sexism, women need protection and affection. It is important to recognize that sexist and paternalistic attitudes are implicit in the belief that women are weaker and need the protection of men. Torres et al. (2002) comment that this view of women may be benevolent but not benign as it perpetuates power inequities and it is predicated on the covert condition that women behave in a maternal or a submissive way. This distinction between hostile and benign sexism is helpful because even though they appear to be contradictory and mutually exclusive, they are often found in the same man. A man may shift from one to the other in relation to the same woman and both positions need to be appropriately challenged in therapeutic settings.

Egalitarianism and Joint Decision Making

For several decades, some empirical studies have found the existence of egalitarianism and joint decision making between husband and wife in many aspects of Latino family life such as child-rearing or household decisions, particularly in families where the wife is employed (Baca Zinn, 1982; Coltrane, Parke, & Adams, 2004; Cromwell & Ruiz, 1979; Mirande, 1997). This is not to deny that the same men may also display authoritarian behaviors in other areas of family life.

Investment in the Father Role

Several studies call into question the idea that Latino fathers are peripheral, domineering, and emotionally uninvolved. In fact, Latino fathers have been found to be involved, affectionate, and a signicant positive inuence on their children from an early age. Numerous clinical observations show the effectiveness of engaging a Latino man in family or couples therapy by calling him directly and asking him to attend the sessions for the sake of the children (Falicov, 1998; Ramirez, 1979). It took just one comment on my part to convince a man to bring to couples therapy the wife that he was leaving for another woman; the comment I made was if he had considered how his children would later in their lives construe the circumstances that caused him to leave his family. Indeed, it seems likely that the cultural emphasis on familismo, that is investment in and devotion to family relationships, may be more powerful than machismo. Many Latino men readily attend parenting groups. They prefer to go with their wives, but the wives report ambivalence about their presence because husbands talk too much and monopolize the available time. We can see again an example of contradictory gender convictions. The social aspects of attending a mens group, particularly a group of conationals, may also hold considerable appeal. Such was the case of a client of mine who was upset over having been accused of child physical abuse and decided to convene a
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group of immigrant men living in the same trailer park to discuss how to change their child-rearing practices to t better with the laws in the United States. In school-based parent groups, I have heard Latino fathers express awareness about the perils of authoritarianism and corporal punishment, implicit in machismo traits, while they also worry that they lack other cultural parenting skills that will insure respect and obedience from their children without resorting to physical punishment. Fatherhood also became a positive motivator for change in the lives of Mexican origin teen fathers who were on juvenile probation for serious offenses (Parra-Cardona, Sharp, & Wampler, 2008). Countering macho stereotypes about mens aloofness from family life, it appears that less acculturated Mexican men are more likely than more acculturated men to supervise children and engage them in conventionally feminine activities. The cultural value of familismo, as manifested in family rituals, may explain the involvement of fathers (Coltrane et al., 2004). I have yet to see a Latino father choose to do solitary work in his garage over going out for a family picnic.

Cultural Transition and Contradictory Consciousness

Today, Latino men are aware of mounting cultural criticisms of traditional machismo from younger men and women of all ages. Many men have entered a process of cultural transition regarding the dominant masculine ideals and the need for a more fair treatment of women. This self-criticism, based on a new social desirability, provides an opening for reections with clients. Nevertheless, the same men may be unaware of patriarchal remnants in their beliefs and attitudes. Family and community relations exhibit a shift in the direction of gender egalitarianism, but it is important to point out that these shifts do not occur in a homogeneous, formulaic, or linear way. These changes happen unevenly, resulting in contradictory combinations in everyday life where some historical aspects of machismo coexist with increased egalitarianism, perhaps in ways invisible to its actors (Gonzalez-Lopez, 2005; Maciel et al., 2009). Thus, Latino men, perhaps like men everywhere, appear to be immersed in a form of contradictory consciousness, an expression borrowed from the Italian Marxist philosopher Antonio Gramsci by Gutmann (1996). Gramsci believed that in situations of cultural transition there are two types of consciousness: one inherited uncritically from the past as a traditional cultural self, and the other developed practically as new expressions of values in everyday life.

THEORETICAL AND THERAPEUTIC ORIENTATION

The theoretical overarching position I take in my work with immigrant men and their families is a social constructionist perspective that acknowledges difference and singularity in masculine socialization but also includes the larger picture of cultural, socioeconomic, racial, and historical forces at work. I include several evaluation and treatment tools in this work: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. The Multidimensional Ecological Comparative Approach (MECA) The Concepts of Shame and Humiliation in the Cultural Gaze of Others Deconstructing Internalized Dominant Gender Discourses Discovering Positive Cultural and Personal Constructs of Masculinity The Use of Movies in Therapy with Latino Clients
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A MULTIDIMENSIONAL ECOLOGICAL COMPARATIVE APPROACH

The MECA model (Falicov, 1995, 1998, 2003) embraces the construct of ecological niche to denote multiple locations and identities for each client. MECA focuses on four dimensions of cultural life and these can be used to explore internalized dominant discourses and changing conceptions of manhood. a. Migration history: local patriarchies in country of origin and country of adoption; cultural transition of gender models. b. Ecological context: social class, race, immigrant status, occupation, work expectations, community models of masculinityFsocial support from and social condemnation by friends. c. Family life cycle: child rearing and cultural conceptions of manhood over the life cycle and their current impact. d. Family organization: experiences related to collectivistic/hierarchical and individualistic/egalitarian ideologies; relational expectations such as traditional or companionate marriages, transmitted from generation to generation.

Shame and Humiliation in the Cultural Gaze of Others

Among common child-rearing techniques utilized by Latino parents is shaming, which includes teasing, mocking, and ridicule whereby misbehaving children, often boys, are made to feel small, stupid, or clumsy in an effort to control them. These shaming practices often take place in front of a large family or extended group (Falicov, 1998). Shame-prone or secure identities may be related to the intensity and duration of those experiences (Harper & Hoopes, 1990). The concept of shame is used frequently in the domestic violence literature where it is used in its Spanish translation verguenza for the treatment of Latino men (Welland & Wexler, 2003). The impact of community life in reinforcing or modifying cultural gender socialization can be signicant because many Latinos, rich and poor, may be surrounded by an intensely involved network of acquaintances, neighbors, and friends that scrutinize, tease, banter, and give advice (De Hoyos & De Hoyos, 1966; Falicov, 1998; Gonzalez-Lopez, 2005). Men and women may experience a profound sense of shame and humiliation when found wanting or at fault in their cultural gender expectations by the witnessing group. Therapists can explore and reect with clients about the impact of the cultural gaze of others. Bacigalupe (2000) offers a relevant therapeutic application. He calls it Reecting in Public About the Public whereby the therapist fosters the sharing of different voices within the client, focusing on his ideas about how society, community, family, and therapist form opinions about the client. This invitation is rewarding but painful because it leads men to recognize patterns of racism, classism, or sexism in which they participate as victims, survivors, and perpetrators. Thus, men are powerless in some ways but accountable in others. The terms shame and humiliation have generally been used as synonyms but in recent years there has been an interest in distinguishing between the two concepts particularly to understand the experiences of refugees and other minorities oppressed by violence (Oravecz, Hardi, & Lajtai, 2004). Some authors have offered a relational analysis of shame and humiliation based on the effects of power-over dynamics. The relational practices they suggest such as mutual empathy, authenticity, and humor in
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therapy can help transform shame and humiliation into opportunities for growth and greater connection (Hartling, Rosen, Walker, & Jordan, 2000). Sluzki (2007) offers a model that differentiates between shame and humiliation. Shame appears when a person internalizes the responsibility for having made public his vulnerabilities and wants to run away or hide. Humiliation is the result of attributing to another person, rather than to oneself, the responsibility for being seen unfavorably or demeaned by others and it is followed by a wish to attack or revenge the responsible party. Thus, shame internalizes the event while humiliation externalizes it. Sluzki suggests that therapeutic rebalancing, with the therapist acting as empathic witness, could help the shamed person in the direction of greater empowerment through externalization while the humiliated person can be helped to internalize and become accountable, thus experiencing a more healthy type of shame. The latter entails a recognition that we have human limits, we make mistakes and try to repair them.

Deconstructing Internalized Dominant Gender Discourses

Consistent with a social constructionist view that denies the existence of a grand narrative of xed truths about Latino men, I nd the work of narrative theorists (White & Epston, 1990) and its applications (Maldonado & Auron, 2006) helpful in attempts to deconstruct with clients how much of their stories and social performances are driven by unquestioned dominant discourses promoted by family socialization, communities of belonging, and popular culture. Dominant cultural discourses become partially incorporated as values or ideologies, but they have a performative aspect as well, even a ctional aspect, that may not really t with the individuals true feelings or ideas (Butler, 1990). In therapy, I initiate conversations to discern how much of the stereotyped masculine behavior is felt deeply and how much of it is merely obligatory performance. It seems plausible, for example, that the issue of defending ones honor, which has drawn men into dueling for generations, has always had a strong performative component.

Discovering Positive Cultural and Personal Constructions of Masculinity

To discover positive views of masculinity it is very helpful to tap alternative constructions that are already present in the clients life but have not been honored fully by his current presentation. It is also important to highlight alternative narratives that exist in more silent or hidden ways within the original cultures themselves, and could be reclaimed for therapeutic purposes. Sharing ndings from ethnographic and research studies and clinical observations about positive masculinities as well as discussing the clients family of origin, extended family, and circle of friends generally yields a rich variety of local and individual models of masculinity.

The Use of Movies inTherapy With Latino Clients

Latino families are intensely involved with watching movies and telenovelas (T.V. serials similar to American soap operas) that depict the drama of love relationships. Among the prominent themes addressed are machismo and also indelity by the man or the woman. The number and variety of daily serial programs is very extensive and applicable to therapeutic conversations (Falicov, 2009). Latin-American cinema with English subtitles is more practical and accessible for non-English-speaking therapists.
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In recent years, there has been a great deal of interest in using movies to support working on specic therapeutic issues. The usual approach is to recommend specic lms to be watched reectively by the client as to the plot, characters, and relevance to ones own life (Hesley & Hesley, 2001; Solomon, 1995, 2001). Movies can also be a starting place for consciousness raising discussions about gender, race, culture, class, or sexual orientation and provide the basis for balancing the personal and the political, the intrapsychic and the social, ones own needs and the needs of others (Almeida, Vecchio, & Parker, 2007). There is a didactic or psychoeducational aspect of movies because a person can compare himself to the characters, recognize motives or behaviors that were unacknowledged before, or learn new solutions to old problems. A client can also invite family or friends to watch the movie together and engage in comparing themselves and each other to the characters and learning from the feedback received. For several decades, Mexican cinema depicted male characters representative of hypermasculinity. Starting in the 1990s Mexican and other Latin-American movies begin to depict attempts to modernize gender power relationships such as the movies Danzon (1992) or La Tarea (Homework, 1991) while still producing idealizations of traditional gender ideologies like those depicted in Like Water for Chocolate (1992). Today, Latin American cinema raises critical issues about the harm and costs of machismo. The movie Amores Perros (Life is a Bitch, 2000) is rich in material for reection and discussion as it covers the vulnerabilities of different types of love, sex, and violence in various social classes, generations, and urban subcultures. The use of lm in therapy can help differentiate the glamorous but destructive characters from those who show an admirable relational ethic that tends to go unnoticed. One therapeutic advantage of lms produced in Latin America or by Latinos in the United States is that they often depict men with awed personalities, addictions or problematic behaviors who must come to grips with their weaknesses and their restricted possibilities for change. Thus their imperfections resemble real life men with whom the viewer can identify (De la Mora, 2006). The clinical case that follows illustrates the ve components of theory and practice: MECA, Shame and Humiliation, Deconstructing Gender Discourses, Discovering Positive Constructions, and using Movies, and integrates these components by organizing the treatment into progressive steps.

A MACHISTA AND A NOBLE MAN IN RELATIONALLY ORIENTED THERAPY

A triangle of indelity that involves a husband and a wife who is involved with another man represents the most serious attack on manhood and therefore it has the potential to reveal as much or more about the internalization of a masculine cultural self as the more common presentation of an extramarital affair on the husbands part (Falicov, 1992, 1998).

A Case Illustration
Jose Luis is a 38-year-old client whose MECAs ecological niche includes being a Mexican born, dark-skinned man, and a middle-class executive who has migrated to San Diego, CA, to manage a business in the San Diego-Tijuana border. He crosses this geographic border with enough frequency to consider him a transnational immigrant able to partake of both cultures.
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He requested therapy for himself for anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. His wife, Laura, who is also Mexican born and from whom he had been separated for a year, had become involved with another man. I invited his wife to join us but she only agreed to come one time alone, on the basis that her husband needed to address his problems before she could talk with him. In terms of MECAs family organization and family life cycle, Jose Luis had lived in a nuclear family setting since his wedding 10 years ago. Previously, he had lived with his parents in a culturally consonant intergenerational setting of adult children highly involved with the fathers business and the parents emotional and family life. Jose Luiss wife, Laura, had been previously married and had two daughters aged 4 and 2 at the time of the marriage to Jose Luis and were now 14 and 12. Jose Luis had raised both girls as his own. They did not have children together. The couple had been separated following a year of constant ghting over money issues. Jose Luis felt very frustrated over Lauras denial of the need for greater nancial austerity. After many ghts, he moved out and regained control of the situation by limiting her stipend to a xed amount. During the year of separation he led a single life, with a great deal of socializing with other single men, and no doubt more than social interactions with women. Throughout that year he did not feel guilty or miss his wife much. However, when he found out that she was being courted by another man, he became intensely jealous and wanted to return to her immediately. But now Laura was asking for time to think about reconciliation because she felt confused about her feelings for another man. When Jose Luis rst found out about his wifes indelity and her doubts about returning to the marriage, he embarked on a campaign of wooing Laura back by sending owers, jewelry, romantic letters, assiduous courting by leaving long telephone messages, and serenading under her window. His behavior bordered on a caricature of a sticky, owery Latin lover who was desperately driven to reconquer the woman. As Jose Luiss formulaic approach was not working he consulted with a group of men friends who told him that it was too late to woo her through romantic displays because she had been secretly cohabiting with the other man. He was told that his wifes lover name is Lukas and that he is of Norwegian descent. Jose Luis then narrates to me his impulsive reaction to nding this out. He describes a dramatic scene in which, late that same night, he is in Lauras garden dressed with black pants and black sweater, armed with a portable phone and a walkie-talkie, crouched in the bushes where his wifes lover car is hidden. Jose Luis is ready to confront Lukas and demand that he answer the question: Pendejo (Mexican insult) what were you doing in my bedroom with my woman even if you made her into a slut you should have respected her because she is married to me and I demand that you get your dirty hands and your dirty prick off my property. When Jose Luis confronted him in the dark, a scared Lukas ran, climbed over the fence, ran some more, and hid on the beach. Jose Luis became desperate. He followed Lukass car, and looked to see whether Laura was with him. He fantasized acts of coercion such as turning Laura into immigration authorities because she still had not obtained full documented status or stopping child support to dominate her through nancial deprivation; he irted with the idea of seducing one of Lauras divorced friends since this would quickly become public and restore his virility. Most of these ideas remained at the level of fantasy but his behavior threatened his wife sufciently that she obtained a restraining order.
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TREATMENT STEPS
A Therapists Dilemma: As in many current presentations of Latino men in ther apy, early in the rst session Jose Luis had disavowed himself from machismo by volunteering the statement: Yo no soy (I am not) machista. I do not drink, I do not cheat on her, I have never hit her. Only the last assertion turned out to be totally true. In spite of his overt disavowal of machismo, Jose Luiss recounting of his actions in the face of events, backed by MECAs evaluation of involvement in a patriarchal family of origin and an ecological context of gender-segregated male friendships revealed many elements of traditional machismo. The contradictions regarding the labels Jose Luis used to describe his masculinity and his actual behaviors created a dilemma for me as the therapist. Where to start? If I said to Jose Luis that his melodramatic displays represent machismo, I would have justied his out of control emotionality and would have rendered us both paralyzed by a cultural explanation. If on the other hand, I had yielded, however subtly, to my own negative evaluations about his Latino brand of seduction, jealousy, and vengefulness I would be in danger of being perceived as critical of his handling of the situation or he may have been insulted by my implying he was a machista, a label from which he had previously distanced himself. Both approaches tend to fail with clients either because they do not learn anything beyond what they already know, or because they feel judged by the therapist, the only source of support they may have at a difcult time. How could I avoid these two pitfalls? The idea that when he took to the bushes in the middle of the night blindly thinking only of revenge, Jose Luis must have been seized by virulent forms of shame and of humiliation propelled me to connect empathically with his humanity and to suspend a moralistic rejection of the immature and unacceptable forms of machismo through which he expressed his needs.

Initial Empathy for the Distress: Validate the Emotional Needs but not the Actions
The rst steps in treatment were to join and mirror the experience of distress and the need to feel powerful again (Wexler, 1999, 2009), with an empathic reection articulated by me as follows:

When you found out that Laura was sleeping with Lukas you felt terribly angry and betrayed and thought How can she do this to me!?, she is so treacherous. Since other people have seen her with her lover, your pride was very hurt and publically humiliated. You felt abandoned and threatened by the thought of being seen as her toy. It makes sense that you want to do something to feel in charge again, such as running to conquer another woman and feel wanted again, even to the point of intimidating or scaring Laura.

This empathic recognition makes the clients emotional needs valid without supporting the destructive behaviors he chose to regain a sense of power over his own crumbling sense of self. The empathic response may even decrease the negative behavior because the client feels emotionally understood rather than feeling isolated.
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Advice Giving as Alliance Builder for Latinos

Perhaps because Latino men usually come to therapy in a state of despair but want to maintain the good opinion of others, they often express a wish to be given guidance. Asking advice from experts may also be more common in collectivistic and hierarchical cultures than in individualistic, egalitarian ideologies, as the MECA model suggests. I have found that some degree of fullling this need is important to the formation of a therapeutic alliance with Latinos, men and women. I responded to Jose Luiss desperate request for advice by telling him I did not know enough yet, that we both would need to arrive at answers together but that he should not consider divorce precipitously nor should he disrupt any aspects of Laura and the daughters living situation. Generalized, not specic, advice giving is an aid to trust-building by promoting what Latinos call conanza or condence in the professional (Santiago-Rivera, Arrendondo, & Gallardo-Cooper, 2002).

Deconstruct Internalized Dominant Cultural Discourses

One way to begin deconstructing dominant discourses about masculinity is to respectfully inquire about what is authentic or heartfelt as opposed to what is mere performance in the displays of invincible masculinity. It appeared that Jose Luis was going through the motions of displaying a masculine cultural self, using the cultural recipe for what wins a womans heart, although sometimes he was aware that defeating the other man was more the issue than winning back his wifes love. His justication was his opponent was morally depraved and notmanenough, a machista liar who dared to dishonor his wife. Jose Luis was displaying benevolent machismo by seeing his woman as helpless and unable to resist the seductions of a man. Soon after, Jose Luis suddenly shifts to seeing his wife as a treacherous woman who may have been unfaithful all along. This is the view of women implicit in hostile sexism, an illustration of the shifts that can occur in the same mans evaluations of the same woman. It seems possible, that devastated by the public implication that he was sexually inadequate to satisfy his wife, he had failed the cultural specications of manhood and probably wanted to see his wife as failing a cultural ideal of purity. At this point in therapy, I felt that watching a movie might provide a point of de parture for deconstructing Jose Luiss views about masculinity along with his views of women. I recommended a classic Mexican movie, Mara Candelaria (1944), so that we could discuss its portrayal of masculine characters. The most dramatic character is Don Damian, the irascible, violent, and domineering store owner who covets and tries to seduce a young beautiful woman. Humiliated by her rejections, he takes on vengeful actions that endanger her life. In contrast, Lorenzo Rafael is a poor, noble, and silent man who shows his inner strength by risking maltreatment and public humiliation at Don Damians hands in order to save the woman he loves. After Jose Luis saw this movie, I asked how the two masculine characterizations applied to him. Contrite, he wondered if he had been acting a lot more like Don Damian than like Lorenzo Rafael, in spite of his earlier assertions that he was not a machista. We speculated that Don Damians destructive behaviors could be based on feeling humiliated and how he blamed others for being rejected by the woman he wanted to have, instead of taking responsibility for his contribution. If instead of humiliation, he could experience healthy shame he could try to change his behavior more constructively.
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From Humiliation (Destructive) to Healthy (Constructive) Shame

Jose Luis was aware that he could not exactly be called a cornudo (cuckold) a label he greatly feared, but still, his wifes involvement with another man was very demeaning to him publicly. He felt that all his friends would think his wife was treating him como su juguete (like her toy), a terrible public affront to his cultural masculine pride. Being the victim of indelity is painful per se but the symbolic tribunal of other mens judgments about ones masculinity intensies the suffering ex ponentially. Feelings of shame and humiliation in the gaze of others dominated Jose Luiss thoughts. But there were other humiliations that were less visible. The rst humiliation relates to the competition with his wifes lover. His wife had once mentioned in passing that Lukas was not only well-endowed but was a better lover. This was the most terrible affront to Jose Luiss manhood. Revealing this source of pain opened the possibility of introducing to the conversation ecological context and migration issues. These involved discrimination due to skin color, race, and nation ality as these concerns were compounding Jose Luiss fears of inequality and inferi ority in the competition with another man. Jose Luis then confesses that his greatest secret fear had been that Laura would one day reject him for a lighter skinned man because his skin was much darker than hers. He wondered about the role of those fears in pampering her with material indulgences. Now that Jose Luis was less depressed and anxious, the timing seemed right to introduce issues of accountability and personal responsibility, a therapeutic move that may help to counteract his sense of humiliation (Sluzki, 2007). To point out his contradictory convictions between a traditional, patriarchal attitude in what in other respects approximated a companionate, egalitarian relationship (see MECA section), I asked Jose Luis why he thought that he could unilaterally decide to leave his wife for a year and assume that she should wait for him? We talked about how the patriarchal organization of his family rearing as a boy may have excused him rather than make him accountable for this behavior. We reviewed how his perception of his mother as saintly and unconditionally loving may have colored his unrealistic expectations of his wife. As Jose Luis began to take responsibility for his very poor handling of his marital issues it became clear that the relational dynamics of his marriage were related to the dynamics of Jose Luiss relationship with his father. Jose Luis worked at one of his fathers rms and his salary was erratic, depending on performance and his fathers whims. Every time Laura spent too much, Jose Luis had to endure his fathers berating and demeaning him before he could extract more money reinforcements. Comparisons between Jose Luiss views and his fathers own condence about his masculinity revealed painful self-evaluations: lack of self-sufciency, immature nancial dependency, and a sense of work inadequacy that precipitated feelings of shame. Gradually, Jose Luis came to see that he had treated his wife in money matters in disrespectful ways similar to the aggravations he was suffering at the hands of his father. Although this client displayed a comfortable life style, we can see the connection between work failure, machismo, and fears of inadequacy that has been described for the MECA migration and ecological context of Latino working class men (HondagneuSotelo & Messner, 1997). Here was a man unable to prove himself in the arena of work, not because of lack of opportunities or exploitation as is the case among the
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poor, but because family wealth continuously trapped him and rendered him unable to separate from his father. This predicament exists among the rich everywhere but it may be exacerbated in Latinos by the cultural support for family connectedness throughout the life cycle and by patriarchal domination exercised by the older generation. To discuss the father-son relationship and the connection between his work iden tity and his family of origin organization, I suggested that Jose Luis watch the classic movie La Oveja Negra (The Black Sheep; Rodriguez, 1949). The movie portrays an autocratic, unscrupulous, and womanizer machista father who does not allow his sensitive and honest son to become a grown man. After watching this movie, Jose Luis was eager to have a conversation about his own fathers excessive emotional and nancial power over him. Becoming accountable meant to assume responsibility for the work choices he had made and the ensuing feelings of personal failure as a man. This is where the deeper unrest lay and where the growth toward healthy, constructive shame had to take place.

Discover Positive Cultural and Personal Constructions of Masculinity

The previous discussion had yielded many cultural examples of men who did not t the stereotype of the autocratic, ruthless, and entitled womanizer. Instead, the lm characters that Jose Luis watched and several of his friends represented a different type of man who was respectful, considerate, and caring toward women and children. These were legitimate cultural expectations that he could embrace. Indeed, his life demonstrated that he had already done so in the form of many honorable personal choices. I commented on the fact that he had married a divorced, not a virginal woman. He had not had children but had taken responsibility for two children that were not his and had done it very well. Rather than shame, pride should accompany these personal choices. I commented that it was clear that he had successfully confronted the cultural gaze of others in this respect and any sense of shame that might have accompanied it. Furthermore, he had been a caring, devoted friend to many people and it was probably a distortion to feel that their judgment of his masculine failures would be so harsh and unforgiving. His investment in the fathers role could also become an aid in developing the image of a noble man that valued the cultural masculine values of dignity, honor, and family. His adopted daughters loved him and would probably want him to be in their lives. Jose Luis was now ready to reconnect and attempt to be a father to the daughters with whom he would no longer live. He had now come to appreciate that a man is not a machista not just because he announces loudly that he rejects machismo, but rather because he engages in relationally caring actions. With humor, Jose Luis now wanted to recommend that I watch a movie that he grimas (Sex, Shame, and Tears, 1999), a comedy about likes, titled Sexo, Pudor, y La the woes of three attractive and problematic middle-class heterosexual couples in Mexico City. Rightly, he wanted to point out to me that although old-school in some ways, he could identify with many elements of modern sexual relationships, validating that his attitude represented a contradictory consciousness, where some aspects of machismo were present but not all. His situation is representative of men in cultural
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transition who under stress related to their masculinity, such as a wifes affair, may present in therapy with stereotyped and defensive machismo. Epilogue The next time I heard from Jose Luis was close to 2 years after the end of therapy. He came to see me because he had remarried and he and his new wife were expecting a baby boy. This life cycle event made him remember our conversations regarding his own growth in relation to his fathers inuence in his life. Incisively, he reected that perhaps his motivation to become a full adult during his rst marriage had not been intense enough to take decisive steps toward autonomy because he had never fathered children himself. It was also clear that his fathers respect toward him had now increased, perhaps because of the cultural emphasis on family procreation, inheritance, and generational continuity consistent with MECAs dimensions of family life cycle and family organization. The irony did not escape Jose Luis or me that siring a baby boy would nally establish him in his fathers eyes as a true macho in the most traditional denition. Most importantly, Jose Luis wanted my help to fully face the obligations and responsibilities of this new life cycle stage. For this purpose, he reengaged in a brief course of therapy focused on helping him carve out a specic domain of expertise in his fathers company and to demand a xed salary with benets, a tting request for a father-to-be. The last time I saw Jose Luis was in the waiting room of my ofce. I was between sessions when Jose Luis approached, beaming, holding his baby for me to see.

CONCLUSION
This paper urges us to situate machismo in a broader and varied context of masculine identities rather than focusing on the origins or explanations of machismo, as these endeavors may unwittingly perpetuate the notion that machismo is the most dening feature of Latino heterosexual masculinity. To be effective and socially just in the treatment of Latino men, therapists need to expand narrow denitions of machismo by moving from traditional stereotyped conceptions to current multidimensional realities. One way for therapists to move their traditional perceptions into current realities is to become familiar with ethnographic and empirical research and revisionist literature that redresses negative stereotypes about heterosexual Latino men by stressing the variety of patterns and the positive side of machismo. Awareness of these positive patterns of masculinity may facilitate joining by updating therapists cultural attunement and clients feelings that they are respected rather than criticized. While good men have always existed among Latinos, the negative stereotype of machismo has been reied for historical and sociopolitical reasons. The contemporary context of gender renegotiations supports conversations that reclaim submerged positive cultural redenitions and honors personal choices regarding masculine behavior. At present, two views exist side by side in Latino men manifested as contradictory behaviors of holding on to the stereotyped scripts, particularly at times of intense stress, but also being open to alternative denitions of manhood. Historically, Latino masculinities embrace positive constructions that can guide men toward a relationally caring and considerate life. Nevertheless, in these alternative masculinities there are embedded forms of hidden patriarchy and benevolent sexism
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that must be challenged as masculine stereotypes continue to impose scripts and scenarios for Latino men, reinforced and/or challenged by family and community life. Therapy can help Latino men deconstruct the dominant discourses that entrap them and discover alternative cultural narratives as well as personal stories that support a variety of masculinities. Therapy also provides a space for dialogue, reection, and choice among various conceptions of masculinity as portrayed in the clients own life, his family and friends, and in the larger culture, such as lm characters. There are other positive theoretical and therapeutic consequences of an amplied system of meanings for Latino masculinities. One adds a view of Latino men that encompasses resources in spite of the decits inherent to patriarchy. A second expounds on strengths within their culture rather than attempting to assimilate Latinos to new images of men patterned after the White middle class version of the modern, egalitarian man. The message in the alternative cultural discourses that emerge is that there is a Latino way of being a man, and it has positive qualities, not just negative ones. This paper offers a model to help construct an alternative Latino masculinity that is positive, nuanced, and contextualized rather than conceived only as negative patriarchal traits xed across time and social context. REFERENCES
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