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question asked by rohit from india on 19-sep-2000.

title:
why does islam prohibit looking at the opposite sex?

question:

i am really confused about the fact that in islam... looking at the opposite sex
is not allowed... how is it possible for a teenager to not go through the basic
instincts of life... being attracted to the opposite sex?

answer:

it would not be very accurate to say that islam disallows looking at the
opposite sex. islam recognizes the natural attraction that a man feels for a
woman and vice versa. in fact, it is because of this - sometimes overpowering -
attraction that islam prescribes certain etiquettes that it wants its adherents
to follow, while interacting with the opposite sex. according to the prescribed
etiquettes of islam, among other things[1], one of the directives is to avoid
staring at each other. this is what the phrase 'lowering of gaze' or 'turn one's
eyes away from temptation', as used in al-noor 24: 31, implies. however, i do
appreciate that one can easily construe even these prescriptions of islam as
undue restrictions. nevertheless, islam is adamant about adherence to these
etiquettes, even if one were to perceive them as islam's apathy toward the
feelings and emotions of 'teenagers'. the reason for this, apparent, apathy
toward what you have called 'the basic instincts of life during the teenage' is
that islam views the teenage (or the age immediately following it) only as a
part of the complete life cycle of an individual, which consists of infancy,
childhood, adolescence, maturity (in years), middle age and old age. islam holds
that if these 'basic instincts' - however strong they may be during the teenage
and a few years following it - are allowed to override the prescribed limits,
they would easily result in the complete undoing of the very foundations of the
family structure and, thereby, the society. a family structure and a society,
which - even if a person fails to realize during his teenage - is a basic
requirement of an infant, a child, a middle-aged and an old person.

islam holds the values of hayaa[2], chastity, loyalty, faithfulness and

commitment as not only required to qualify man for the eternal bliss of paradise,
but also to provide him with a stable family structure and a pious collectivity
(society). it is precisely for these reasons - of cleansing the human mind, body
and soul and of providing the foundations for a stable and a pious society -
that islam has prohibited certain relations for marriage; it has prohibited
fornication and adultery and considers them a punishable crime; and has
restricted the allowance of sexual relations to the institution of nikah
(marriage).
in one of my previous responses, i had written:

the basic principle on which islam builds its social structure is that a man -
for his healthy and natural physical, mental, emotional and psychological
development - needs a family. at the time of his birth he needs a mother (or
someone in place of a mother) to look after him. at that time, if his needs are
ignored, his very existence can so easily be jeopardized. although at this stage,
the father is playing an important role in the back ground, but in his
subsequent years, the role of the father becomes more and more prominent with
that of the mother. then his brothers and sisters, contribute to his
psychological and emotional development as well. as he grows older, his society,
his tribe, his neighborhood and his family teach him the lessons which have a
great significance in shaping his personality. some years later, this child
grows strong and young. these are the few years of his life during which he
believes that he is independent enough to live his life without sharing and even
without asking others to share with him. these are the years in which - due to
his emotional and physical independence - he is sometimes prone to adopt an
attitude of taking all the pleasure that life has to offer without accepting the
responsibilities that should naturally entail these privileges (or pleasures).
nevertheless, soon after this phase is over, the mental, physical and emotional
weaknesses start creeping in once again and once again, as was the case in the
first stage (of childhood and infancy), he becomes emotionally dependent on
others. not before long, he reaches the threshold of old age. now once again,
besides his emotional dependence he also becomes physically dependent on others.
sometimes, he also reaches a stage where his very existence becomes dependent on
the care and attention of others.

islam wants to shape the society in a way that would take care of the needs of
the complete man and not just a part of his life. islam therefore builds the
society in such a way that a family is formed, relationships are created and
thus, not only the needs of a young man are satisfied but also those of the
infants and the old. islam, therefore, builds the society on the institution of
marriage. an institution, which is primarily based on firm commitment, love,
trust and chastity.

this is the reason why islam holds fornication, not only to be a spiritual crime
but a social crime, which is punishable by flogging in public. this is exactly
the reason why islam directs us to observe certain etiquettes while in the
company of the opposite sex, not related to us (mehram).

after the disqualification of certain relations for nikah; the restriction of

sexual interaction to nikah only; and the prohibition of fornication and
adultery, islam has prescribed the referred etiquettes of interaction between
males and females to help the individuals stay within the prescribed boundaries
of interaction. the prescribed etiquettes of interaction, in a way, are to
minimize the factors that may incite and provoke individuals to go beyond the
prescribed limits.

thus, seen in this perspective, through the prescription of the referred

etiquettes of interaction, islam, on the one hand, wants to secure a stable
social setup (as is required by man) and, on the other, to inculcate and promote
such values in the individuals, which guarantee their ultimate success in the
hereafter. one may construe these prescriptions of islam as apathy toward the
teenagers. nevertheless, islam wants to secure the stated objectives for the
individual as well as the collective good of all humankind, even at the cost of
being construed apathetic by the teenagers.

september 20, 2000

[1] for explanation of the prescriptions of the shari`ah, refer to one of my

earlier responses to a question, titled: "regarding the etiquette of interaction
between men and women".

[2] hayaa is one of the basic values that islam wants to inculcate and promote
among its adherents. due to the lack of an accurate synonym in the english
language, i have used the arabic word, which, over here, implies 'the
suppression of sexual interaction within certain limits and the avoidance of all
potential instigation of sexual attraction or being instigated by sexual
attraction beyond those limits".

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