Third Campaign Challenge: BABE

By Claire Hennessy

Source: www.itgirlswimwear.com

If you like my entry please go to my blog: http://clairehennessy.blogspot.com/ or directly to http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2011/10/third-campaigner-challenge-show-not.html Scroll down to #77 and click like under my name. The rules of this particular Challenge are at the end (and are worth checking out).
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BABE
I awoke with a snort, squinting into the early morning sunshine. It was already hot as hell. My mouth tasted like the bottom of last night's ashtray. I tasted hard, gritty sand against my teeth. My tongue moved around, looking for moisture. I lay there, too weary and apathetic to move. I closed my eyes. Time passed. The sun got hotter. My scorched skin stretched tight over my face, feeling like it would blister and crack at any moment. I could hear the gentle lapping of waves on the sand nearby. My parched throat closed as I craved a long, cold drink of Tacise. Shaking the thoughts away, the rest of my senses returned and with them an overpowering stench of rotten cabbage and urine. The toxic smell assaulted my nostrils, making me gag. The taste of bitter vomit stained the back of my throat. I turned and saw the culprit - a steaming pile of green wastopaneer. Damn, those Synbatecs were a pain! Desperate to quench my thirst, I staggered to my feet and set off down the beach in search of water. Oi, you filthy pig, get off my land!" I turned my head to see who was shouting. To my amazement, standing with hands planted on her hips, was a blonde bombshell in a skimpy turquoise bikini, breasts barely contained by the two tiny scraps of material masquerading as a top. Scarlet lips formed a hard line beneath her cold blue eyes. How had I not noticed her? Maybe I'd caught a touch of the swine flu doing the rounds. I glanced around the deserted beach for the object of her disgust. Slowly, the penny dropped that it was me. Filthy pig? How dare she? I looked down and noticed that I was, in fact, a pig.
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Rules of the Challenge:

Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show: that its morning, that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach that the MC (main character) is bored that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting that something surprising happens.

Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise." (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them). Here are some tips on "Show Not Tell" to help you out: Stay in the moment (describe what is happening to your character as it is happening to avoid telling) Avoid summarizing as much as possible (eg, "He stabbed her with a knife"). It can work well as a means of "skating over" unimportant details, or moving from one scene to another, but summarizing in the middle of a scene usually reads as "telling" Keep an eye out for words that (often) indicate the presence of "telling". Examples include "was" (or other forms of "to be") and "felt" (eg, "He felt scared" or "He was scared"). Though note that not every use of "was" is telling Try to avoid labelling feelings. Rather than saying, "I felt angry," describe what those emotions are doing to the characters, mentally and physically but don't just describe the physical effects of an emotion (eg "I clenched my fists"). Dig deeper. Utilize the five senses, things the character notices or doesn't notice, and memories of past events, as well as physical reactions, to show how the character is feeling.