Official Statement from Occupy Wall Street II - this statement was voted on and approved by the general assembly

of residents around Liberty Square, where the Money Never Sleeps: Declaration of the Occupation of New York City As we gather together in solidarity to express a feeling of mass entitlement, we must not lose sight of what brought us together. We write so that all people who feel wronged by the corporate forces of the world can know that we are your allies. If you have a nose ring, we are your allies. If your hair is bleached green, we are your allies. Basically, if you feel sorry for yourself….we are your allies. As one people, united, we acknowledge the reality: that the future of the human race requires the cooperation of its members; that our system must protect our rights, and upon corruption of that system, it is up to the individuals to protect their own rights, and those of their neighbors; that a democratic government derives its just power from the people, but corporations do not seek consent to extract wealth from the people and the Earth (all they have to do is ask); and that no true democracy is attainable when the process is determined by economic power. And most of all, we just don’t know what a corporation is. It sure is an easy target and doesn’t seem to fight back, though. So we’re gonna run with it. We come to you at a time when corporations, which place profit over people, self-interest over justice, and oppression over equality, run our governments. We have peaceably assembled here, on private property, as is our right, to let these facts be known. They have taken the houses we can’t afford through an illegal foreclosure process. Sure we lied on the applications. But who can blame us for trying to get something for free? It’s as American as apple pie. They have taken bailouts from taxpayers with impunity, and continue to give Executives exorbitant bonuses. Frankly, we wish they’d gone out of business. And don’t get us started on paying their Executives. We don’t even believe in this whole concept of “money.” They have poisoned the food supply through negligence, and undermined the farming system through monopolization. We haven’t been able to get our daily wheat grass shots since coming to Zuccotti and this makes us a little cranky. It is the official position of Occupy Wall Street II that Whole Foods is…confusing. It is nice and hippy…but the amazing variety of delicious vegetables makes us feel guilty for living in such an opulent yet corrupt society. Damn you, Whole Foods! Damn you and your delectable capitalist tomatoes! Every time we go in, there’s a freaky new kind of melon we’ve never seen before! And we love our flax seeds. But Whole Foods is a corporation. We’re just, like, saying, it’s confusing, man. It is an inalienable human right to get offended if the generation ahead of us expects us to work like they did to get ahead. It’s an inalienable human right to chill out. This one isn’t really about corporations, it’s just something that we needed to get off our chests. We feel so…it’s just not fair. Work isn’t fair. Why can’t I support myself with donations

people give me in exchange for the free patchouli oil I offer them? Every month, I make more oil. And my friends seem to like it, they certainly take it. But the donations aren’t enough. Stupid economy. I shouldn’t have to get a job, why me? Why why why? They have profited off of the torture, confinement, and cruel treatment of countless nonhuman animals, and actively hide these practices. We’re just gonna come out and say it: animals are people too. Frankly, we took a poll and found out we’re all vegans which means we’re simply better people than you. And sorry to say, if you aren’t vegan…we think that the animals are better people than you too. They have held students hostage with tens of thousands of dollars of debt on education, which is itself a human right. What? Where is it in the Declaration of Rights? That document was written by dead white men, man. We’re all over it when it comes to free speech and anything we like. But the stuff we like that isn’t in there, like universal health care? Education? Weed? Those are HUMAN rights, ya dig? They have influenced the courts to achieve the same rights as people, with none of the culpability or responsibility. I mean really. Sure. There are 26 types of snails and slugs in Oregon that might be endangered and yes, of course, they are people too. But no, a corporation isn’t worth the life of even one Columbia Dusky Snail. They have sold our privacy as a commodity. Again. It’s a human right to be able to search Craigslist for a little person clown with a foot fetish that I can slather with mayonnaise without anyone finding out….not that I ever did. Someone hacked into my computer and if that is what you found--did you find anything weird? Never mind. They determine economic policy, despite the catastrophic failures their policies have produced and continue to produce. They believe in that whole “money” thing! Obviously, we should be in charge of economic policy. It’s all we talk about while playing hacky-sack at Dead shows. Economic policy is easy, especially once you've dropped a few tabs of acid and pulled a few bong hits. They have donated large sums of money to politicians supposed to be regulating them. Because, really, nobody is supposed to give money to politicians who can actually affect their situations. We’re not really sure what that “quid pro quo” thing is (sigh. Latin. Again, dead white men.) but we’ll be giving money only to politicians who cannot do anything to help our cause. That will set a good example for corporations. They continue to block alternate forms of energy to keep us dependent on oil. Really, since we’d have to rely on evil corporations for most of these alternative forms of energy…we favor compost heaps. Nice, warm, fragrant compost heaps. Where can I plug my Macbook Air in, again? They continue to make a profit. Some Big Pharma companies block generic forms of medicine to do so. Somebody tried to explain that this profit is how those companies fund the research that led to the discovery of his cancer treatment, but he got shouted down, the

selfish capitalist jerk. Probably a plant from Fox News. They have accepted private contracts to murder prisoners even when presented with serious doubts about their guilt. We’re all for murder, as long as there is no doubts about guilt. We’ve openly talked about the death penalty for bankers! They have perpetuated colonialism at home and abroad. Yes. We said it. They are colonizing America. To those of you who went to school before the socialist takeover, the new c-word is “colonial”. We throw it around without really knowing what it means, like most epithets.*

To the people of the world, We, the New York City General Assembly occupying Wall Street II in Liberty Square where the Money Never Sleeps, urge you to assert your power. Exercise your right to peaceably assemble; occupy public space; if you can’t find public space, any old private property will do since we don’t believe in “private property”; create a process to address the problems we face, and generate solutions accessible to everyone. This should include banging on pots and pans until late into the night because by bothering local residents after the bankers go home…we will accomplish…well, after six, Occupy Wall Street II is a pretty good party. Let’s face it, it’s a great freaking party. Hot hippy chicks looking to get down. To all communities that take action and form groups in the spirit of direct democracy, we offer support, documentation, and all of the resources at our disposal. We’ve got some tarps, a few sleeping bags without bedbugs and some sticks of incense. Join us and make your voices heard! Or at least learn our funny hand gestures, if you want to be in the know! *These grievances are not all-inclusive. We’ll keep complaining and we’re pretty sure that if you keep sticking cameras in our faces, we’ll come up with more things society has inflicted upon us. For instance, right now, the corporations are not letting us use their bathrooms. That’s an inalienable human right!!!

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