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Copyright
Copyright 2000-4
All rights reserved. No part of this publication (including all illustrations) contained in this document or these pages, held in electronic file or otherwise, may be reproduced or transmitted in any way form or means, electronic or otherwise, including photocopy, recording, email news group posting, forum posting, or any informational storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without written permission form the publisher. This is taken very seriously. We wont hesitate to enforce our intellectual rights through all litigious means. The penalties for such infringements are punishable under law by fines in excess of $100.000 plus possible imprisonment under the laws of software piracy if distributed electronically over the net.
This is not a free e-book and shouldnt be treated as such. Considerable time sacrificed and huge effort on my part, have been ploughed into creating this publication for the purpose of providing you with a cure. Illegal copies hinder my ability to provide my works, and add to unseen future cost in production and distribution. Therefore costs to you will rise, and future works will be delayed. As you can see, this is completely unfair to us both. So please report if you believe this book did not come from Lain.Publishing, and I will reward you for your effort + provide you with a legitimate copy of this e-book. I will pursue this violation of my time and effort to its outright conclusion to protect my rights as an author, over his intellectual property.
Disclaimer
None of the contents within this book should be taken as medical advice. This manual is meant for informational purposes only. No company involved in creation, distribution, or any individual, author of otherwise shall be held liable in any way for misuse of this information, including damage, injury, or ailment caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information or lack of information or use or misuse of the methods or techniques described within this book, including all web-pages and any correspondence, inclusive or pertaining to this e-book or book. All exercises and techniques that you attempt from information obtained from within this e-book, or web pages or any correspondence, must only be attempted under supervision and recommendation of a licensed medical practitioner, who is then responsible for their recommendations. This is important as your body or state of health may have an adverse reaction to our exercises and techniques. This book is bought as is, and any mistakes, as careful as I've been in editing and checking through this volume are to be considered uncontrollable mistakes. I would also like to apologies in advance if you find any. But I would like to eradicate them so please feel free to email me (click here to email) the location and type of error. For which I would be most great-full.
Welcome
I hope the above Copyright and Disclaimer have not upset the mood, to start you on your journey to cure premature ejaculation. They are, in our litigious times, a necessary evil, to which Im truly sorry for, if you found the tone sounds harsh. On a more uplifting note I wish to say, thank you for your purchase, and welcome to my book, your-cure to premature ejaculation. May it bring you the love life youve always wanted. All designed to fit into your life. If you have all the time in the world to learn control, Ill provide the perfect methods for you. Likewise, if you have no-time at-all, you can still learn to out-last your lover in bed, without fail. I know on outset, this seems unlikely, but you will be surprised, not just how little you need to know to out-last her, every time. But also how easy it is to learn these techniques. Some will take you less than an hour, no Im not bull-sh*ting you! You made the choice to purchase this book based on its contents, so Ive no need to re-tell you, of all the valuable information that lies within. But before you start on your journey to sexual ecstasy, I just wanted to reassure you that you have at-hand the most effective cures for premature ejaculation that has ever been written. So without further delay please read on and discover why this fact still stands true.
information at a later date. After activating each link I will email you a note for your reference. When I have all links referenced I will omit these pertaining paragraphs from all future copies sold. This was thought to be a better option than asking you to repeatedly download new drafts, every time a links added. Its a way of future proofing this book.
Contents
Copyright ...................................................................................................................................2 Disclaimer..................................................................................................................................3 Welcome ....................................................................................................................................4 How To Navigate Through This E-Book .................................................................................5
Links through this book (this is a subheading) .......................................................................... 5
Forward ...................................................................................................................................18
Who is this book written for? ........................................................................................................ 18 How Can This Book Help? ............................................................................................................ 19 So much info but where do I start?............................................................................................... 20 Do You Want Control Tonight?.................................................................................................... 20
Introduction.............................................................................................................................22
Documented Research.................................................................................................................... 22 Contraception And Fertility .......................................................................................................... 23 Life In A Cave ................................................................................................................................. 23 Poor Jane......................................................................................................................................... 24 Good Morning Neanderthal .......................................................................................................... 25 So Why Bother Delaying ................................................................................................................ 25
Bare With Me.................................................................................................................................. 42 Natural Reaction............................................................................................................................. 42 Sometimes You Just Lose It........................................................................................................... 43 Losing It With The Ladies ............................................................................................................. 44
Condoms ..................................................................................................................................56
Delaying Ointment.......................................................................................................................... 59
PC Clamps ...............................................................................................................................62
What and where is the PC muscle?............................................................................................... 63 Personally identifying your PC muscle......................................................................................... 64 Weak PC Muscles ........................................................................................................................... 65 Developing Your PC....................................................................................................................... 66 Exercise 1 Beginner ........................................................................................................................ 67 Exercise 2 Intermediate.................................................................................................................. 67 Exercise 3 Intermediate (stage 2) .................................................................................................. 67 Advanced Technique ...................................................................................................................... 67 Advanced Technique (stage 2)....................................................................................................... 67 Problems with the exercise............................................................................................................. 68 One huge benefit to PC clamps ..................................................................................................... 69
Taoist .......................................................................................................................................70
Picture of Taoist Scrotum Pull ...................................................................................................... 71 Cock Rings ...................................................................................................................................... 72
Teenaged Sex...........................................................................................................................73
Teen Sex........................................................................................................................................... 73 First sexual encounters................................................................................................................... 74 Condoms, the obvious choice ......................................................................................................... 74 Intimacy........................................................................................................................................... 75 Ways of introducing touching ....................................................................................................... 75 The right environment ................................................................................................................... 76 Are parents the problem ................................................................................................................ 76
This Isn't 'Rocket Science' ............................................................................................................. 79 Clitoral stimulation......................................................................................................................... 80 What use is this to you?.................................................................................................................. 80 30 Second Man ................................................................................................................................ 81 How she benefits ............................................................................................................................. 82 Common Myth ................................................................................................................................ 82 Don't lose sight of the truth ........................................................................................................... 83 Fighting the boredom ..................................................................................................................... 83
Step 2, Becoming aware of your arousal rate............................................................................. 100 Arousal Scale................................................................................................................................. 100 Using your arousal knowledge to implement control ................................................................ 101 Greater Orgasm............................................................................................................................ 101 Practising....................................................................................................................................... 102 Relapses ......................................................................................................................................... 102 How often should I practice? ....................................................................................................... 103 Advanced control.......................................................................................................................... 103 Advanced control, the exercise .................................................................................................... 104 Its not as easy as you think!........................................................................................................ 104 Male and Female Arousal Graph................................................................................................ 105 How to overcome this ................................................................................................................... 106 Graph Depicting Her Arousal Climbing .................................................................................... 107 So what is 'Stroking Yourself Down'? ........................................................................................ 107 What can help you learn 'Stroking Down' ................................................................................. 108 How can we be sure this will work with a woman? ................................................................... 108 So what can you do? ..................................................................................................................... 109 How long should I practice? ........................................................................................................ 109
Picture of Her Vulva Sliding On Your Penis ............................................................................. 119 So this exercise limits sensation to it. .......................................................................................... 120 No stimulation, no orgasm!.......................................................................................................... 120 Practising....................................................................................................................................... 121 Precautions .................................................................................................................................... 121 Stroking Down .............................................................................................................................. 122 Improving on Stroking Down...................................................................................................... 123 Precautions .................................................................................................................................... 124 Extra Exercise ............................................................................................................................... 125 Penetration .................................................................................................................................... 125 Straight to it .................................................................................................................................. 126
Retain Not Drain........................................................................................................................... 142 Learning Multi On Your Own .................................................................................................... 143 When Do You Stop ....................................................................................................................... 143 Achieving Orgasm And Ejaculatory Separation Without Trying ........................................... 143 Now Thats Exemplary Control .................................................................................................. 144
Picture of Missionary Lift ............................................................................................................ 167 Missionary Lift.............................................................................................................................. 168 Gyrate ............................................................................................................................................ 168 Caution .......................................................................................................................................... 169 Is She Dry ...................................................................................................................................... 170 9 By 1 ............................................................................................................................................. 170 Here we go, the technique... ......................................................................................................... 170
The Responsibility Of Control..................................................................................................... 190 Lubrication.................................................................................................................................... 191 Combination Techniques 2 .......................................................................................................... 192 Stress .............................................................................................................................................. 193 Tip Of The Day ............................................................................................................................. 193 Failure Is Not An Option ............................................................................................................. 194 Farewell & Good Luck................................................................................................................. 196
Acknowledgement
I would like to dedicate this book to my loving partner Tanya, who without I wouldnt have completed this book. She makes me happy, and puts up with all my whining and moaning, and every other unbearable idiosyncrasy I possess. She continued to encourage me with unwavering support and faith in my ability to produce such a book, when others only looked on with disdain and supreme scepticism. So I would like to thank her from the bottom of my heart.
This e-book is also dedicated to those of you who do more than just read this publication, and actually USE it.
A infamous sex researcher Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey, in 1948 studied 5300 American men and 5940 white females from a selected variant of groups, and found that three quarters of males reached orgasm within 2 minutes after vaginal entry, and over 70% of woman lasted 3 to over 5 times longer with 20% lasting over 10 minutes after penetration. Alfred speculated that this was a frequent source of marital conflict.
Most of us just want the ability to last a few minutes longer, or to reduce the amount of times we don't last as long as our ladies. Its all down to the amount of time and effort that you put into the subject that defines what you get out of it. So diligence pays off in the long run. Just to contradict what I just wrote above. Great control is possible. Yes its possible to last for hours, etc. But what I meant above, is that every-ones human. 100% perfection therefore can only be the stuff of dreams. Off days, bad days, stressful days all reduce this 100% etc... This book was designed to ensure you have enough info to make you as competent at controlling ejaculation as humanly possible. Even on those off days etc...
Forward
The cures you'll be learning are specifically designed to relieve you from this undesirable affliction, in the simplest and fastest way possible. Composed over 6yr's, 3yr's of research and another 3yr's of writing. This time has allowed me to include many cures you will simply not find anywhere else. All these cures are compiled into this simple D.I.Y guide you see before you. So you can become the confident lover you always knew you could be, with the greatest of ease.
Because its all good, gems are scattered throughout every chapter. There isn't a tip, technique or exercise here, that doesn't cut the mustard. Which is why I wrote this book. Because I know there's call for it. But there's more too it than this. This book gives you the choice of what techniques to learn, and was written for the man needing tips for his date tonight. All the way up to the man who wants a control so defined, he doesn't even have to think about lasting, any-time he makes love. This is all written in a way in which anyone can understand and interpret for maximum effect to elimination you ailment.
will have to of experience these techniques for yourself. You are in control of what techniques you use, and every ones different. So if you find a technique, tip etc doesn't agree with you, and then you have the option of discarding it in favour of another. You are essentially becoming your own therapist. Now please read through the rest of the book. Every chapter describes a different technique. You will see that every chapters pretty much self contained, with all the relevant info on how to use the specific technique. So preventing any backwards and forwards referencing, which you might find confusing. This is why some paragraphs reflect paragraphs from previous chapters. This was thought to be best, as I would think you will try one technique then a few days or weeks later, read another. It might be a good idea to have a notebook handy, so you can jot down key points of exercises youre looking into. Good luck and have fun trying all the different cures.
Introduction
The need to ejaculate is an innate expedient urge that fills us with great euphoric pleasure and stems from within us. We are unique in the animal kingdom as we have no mating season and unlike our nearest species (primates/apes) cannot discern when the female of our species ovulates. In most encounters the need to ejaculate is not the same urge as found in the rest of the animal kingdom. Our need is normally to get of, and in most cases, a lust-full erotic desire to immerse our-selves in rapturous pleasures of the flesh with orgasm as our goal. In any other species coition (having sex) is used only for procreation. Only chimps have been thought to engage in sexual activities merely for pure pleasure but this has only rarely been observed, and is a relatively new discovery. Normally thought, they too only coition to procreate. Human sex is almost the exact opposite to animals, as we are normally looking for the pleasure and joy and rarely engage with the intention to procreate. Which is totally contrary to our masses as a species, as we are the most dominant species on this planet and of-course there is only one way we all came into being, and that was the coupling of our parents. But look at it this way, how many kids does the average family have? Its around 2, compare that to all the times a person copulates during their lives.
Documented Research
Based on the figures by Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey, the foremost renowned sex researcher. Who published data in 1948 pertaining to mens sexual behaviour and in 1953 wrote the equivalent for women. Using 5300 men and 5940 women from various social groups. His research concluded that frequency of marital coitus was 2.8 times per week in late teens and 2.2 times per week by age 30 and 1 time per week by age 50. I loosely based a calculation on these figures to come up with 6531.2 copulations per average person. Now for the sake of theorising, give the average family two kids, during their lives, we now have a ratio of 1 kid for every 3265.6 sexual encounters. Its therefore quite ironic that we are the dominant species on this planet, as
the rest of natures averages are far superior in the procreation stakes. Pulling averages of 1 to 1, procreation to copulation and for many species, copulation literally only lasts a few seconds but they may have offspring every year. This makes our 3265.6 to 1 look exceedingly poor. Contemporary human kind, as a whole embrace sex normally for the pleasure encountered, unlike animals, whose methods differ to procreation. Any animal would off become long extinct if they had a birth ratio anything like ours. But obviously we employ contraceptive measures to prevent impregnation, for a good reason. We don't want to get our women pregnant. Seems to be some-what contrary to the greater good and survival of our species. In our continually more stable environment, if we choose to, we can bear young, and profit from all the advancements of medical science, which help to inform, comfort and alleviate any complications encountered along the way. All these human advancements and endeavours ensure a good survival rate, for our young. These plus societies structure, reinforce the chances of offspring living to an age to bear young and survive to live out their natural life span.
Life In A Cave
Another theory that joins onto the tail of this one is that in order for cave men "A"(our ancestor) to impregnate gave girl "B", Lets theoretically call them Jim and Jane.
Jane's orgasm (by design) could not happen before Jim's. Why? Cause if she culminated before him, she might try and end the sexual encounter prematurely. Causing our friend Jim's efforts to impregnate Jane, to end in failure. This could cause our species dire consequences. Our numbers could drastically decline in this primitive age, and our species could end up declining to be just part of history failures, and we might no longer exist. If you study nature, you can see the function/purpose in natures design... Why are fish so smooth? To facilitate easy travel through the water. Why are flowers Coloured? So bees and other insects can find them easier, to ensure a greater chance of pollination. Looking at things in this Darwin way and the above theory starts to make sense.
Poor Jane
So in order to ensure impregnation, and the continual survival of our species, Jane is left wanting, in need of satisfying, and because of this wanting has not repelled Jim to-get him off her but Jim (our hero) has done his job, and for the success of our species, came quick, to ensure a greater chance of impregnating Jane. Jim's rapid-ness also ensured he wasn't kept too long, in a compromising position, where he could not easily defend him-self, in case of attack but this I believe, was of secondary importance. Of course we are no longer cave men but this is more of a mental knowledge based development then a physical one. We are essentially the same physically as these primitive people. Its just that we walk around in suits instead of animal skins, and have a well developed infrastructure and society. These are our main differences. But as in the cave man era, these developments suffice to ensure the continual survival of our species, as does any species instincts, and at the forefront of these is the instinct to procreate, and the ability to do this in the best way suited to the survival of our species, and for men this is still to come quickly, to ensure insemination.
Tantric sex reveals an understanding of male and female orgasm, and although based on a disciplined culture, reveals quite a hedonistic approach to sex, divulging great insight. Most western women today crave pleasure in their lives as well as their sex lives. As men we now feel the need to satisfy our lovers, as that's what they ofcourse desire. We as men now feel great pride in overcoming our innate rapidity, as we are more able to satisfy our loved ones, as on average women need longer stimulation than men to reach orgasm. This also fills us with a feeling of worth and competence. As we feel the need to satisfy to justify our ladies, desiring for our-selves. As one man put it "if I feel everything is going well in the bed room, I feel invincible in all other areas of my life" We all know there is more to it than that. Making love is an intimate bonding experience in which delay is only part of the equation. Knowledge of your partners body is essential in giving and receiving pleasure, and the more knowledge we possess, the more able we are to gratify her and please yourself. One of the fundamental flaws in some woman's interpretation of mens rapidity is that he has done this out of self gratification without any concern for his lovers feelings, wants or needs. This stems from the basis of female understanding of their own orgasm, in which they, in most circumstances have good control in delaying their own orgasm. This provides us with another basis in which we feel in need to delay our orgasm, as not to be labelled as selfish and self centred. Creating a more harmonious relationship in which your ability will provide your woman with great joy. Unfortunately we will have to over-come our common traits with Jim our successful impregnation stallion of a primitive-man, to greatly assist in being the lover of her life. This can only heighten yourself esteem and improve your life. As is, our culture now thrives on sexual ecstasy. Look at the amount of literature devoted to the whole spectrum of this topic, if in doubt. You no longer have to full-fill you innate built in rapidity. As one of the reasons we are such a dominant species, is our unique level of ability to adapt
and over-come adversity. So by design, we have the ability to adapt and change our level of control to one personally bespoke to you. Thus changing things round to suit our selves. Adaptation is our prerogative, and you have taken the first and most important step in altering your level of control which was by design, uncontrollable. Therefore you can turn your level of control from non existent to a level of natural ability. Which means you wont even have to think about delaying once youve completed the exercises within this book. Because control can be taught to become as natural as caveman Jims rapid ability is to him.
Realising Control
This chapter will help prevent and at least greatly reduce over excitement that's induced by your partners naked body. By changing your focus so that you can naturally last longer. I would recommend reading this chapter before trying any other cures. Coming early leads you to worry. Lifting anxiety to the fore-front of your next sexual encounter. This creates more worry which creates more performance anxiety, and so the vicious circle continues. All I can say is youre not perfect and many factors will influence your control, most women know that men falter, so its no big deal. If you are understandably nervous, use your skills as a lover, to turn her on to a high degree before penetration. She is far less likely to last as long if you can greatly stimulate her before hand. One of my friends once said to me; "I new I wasn't going to last long so went down on her first". After this sexual encounter he appeared with a smile on his face and later, emerged one sexually fulfilled lady. You could tell by the grin on her face, she obviously had no complaints. Worrying too much about how well youre doing and that youre not perfect, can be sensed by your partner, as you wont be 100% in-tune with the experience. If she feels youre not fully involved in the experience, she can be easily turned off. This may spoil her mood and undoubtedly affect her ability to also relax, and therefore put her off the experience. Making love is supposed to be a sensual experience shared between two people, rather than a choreographed routine, its about enjoying the moment and going with the flow that connects you both. Encounters such as these can cause sexual frustration and abstinence to build between couples. This promotes other problems. The first is youre likely to come quickly next time you have sex, because of lack of sex. The other is sexual tension, which arises because of these periods of abstinence. The more pressure felt unfortunately turns sex into an enormous worry. This
self inflicted pressure leads to other problems and is one of the main causes of impotence. Practising good sex does of course, not just refer to intercourse. There is a certain nervousness associated with a new partners naked body, and a need to know how each other enjoys being touched. Put simply, its a learning curve. Fortunately I have a great exercise that not only helps you in these problematic areas but also teaches you how to stimulate your lover during foreplay. The awareness of each others naked bodies, while not being caught up in intercourse, (which removes some sexual tension) creates a different atmosphere from that of intercourse, promoting comfort between the two of you, in your nakedness. As for many couples being naked together is only something achieved in the heat of passion. If during this exercise you or your partner are not totally comfortable with their body at first, you always have the option to cover ones self and shield their nakedness so repressing their insecurity. This can be simply achieved by turning the lights off; getting undressed under cover; keeping some clothes on; or quickly shielding yourself with your partners body etc... Which you can do when making love, if this insecurity persists. Unfortunately this kind of worry promotes minimal foreplay, and as we know foreplay is powerful way to arouse your lover. This attitude also breeds repetitiveness in sex, with minimal or no diversity. Sex can then get boring as most of the fun has been taken out of it. In these circumstances, as you can see this 'complex' is quite a hindrance to what could be a healthy, fun and joyful sex life. This attitude can often lead to the end a relationship. In this situation, it was not what he looked like, or anything to do with his personality. But the fault of this overriding complex that prevented a healthy relationship from growing, instead letting it stagnate. So don't fear your nakedness, embrace it. But things aren't that simple. If you have such a complex, sex becomes something to fear, and not lust for. This leads to infrequency which again builds more apprehension. Becoming one vicious circle, in which negativity becomes associated with intimacy. Fortunately there are ways to bring these barriers down, and break the chain.
For some of us, the female body brings uncontrollable levels of excitement, meaning foreplay can topple us over the edge. In the movie "American Pie" there is a scene in which the star of the film has an attractive lush lovely sexually flirtatious lady in his room. Unfortunately his excitement was too much for him, and he wasn't aware how turned on he was. Until impending orgasm came upon him. The arousal from this encounter overloaded him with so much excitement that he lost his awareness of his arousal. If youre not aware of it, how can you control it??? In fact there is a way of learning to control our excitement while experiencing sexual pleasure. This is the same exercise I would prescribe to couples who are timid, shy and insecure about sharing their bodies with another. Bear in mind that its only really your partner that will see you naked, and if you find the warmth and closeness of each others bodies appealing, then you should not have a problem with your body. My partner and I, are not models, and don't have a model like physique, with all over tans etc but we do desire and appreciate, and most importantly lust after each other. We have no problem being naked with each other. Therefore we both enjoy an uninhibited love life. The following exercise is exceptionally fun and enjoyable in helping you come to terms with your body and helps you learn how to touch your partner. Benefits also include maintaining and creating a healthy relationship that I would advise any couple to occasionally integrate into their love life. All you need is a willing partner. Emphasise the benefits of the exercise and spend time on making her feel good and she's likely to come around, and have any concerns alleviated. Dr. Alfred Kinsey reviewed foreplay times in his study. He found that 20% of us experience less than 3 minutes of foreplay. Which is not the best way to explore each others bodies, as you should take time to learn your partners body. This can be an exceedingly enjoyable bonding experience. The difference between this exercise and foreplay is the genitals including breasts are completely off limits. This totally contradicts normal foreplay behaviour, and will help you learn how to give and receive pleasure, and explore each others bodies, which is a great experience. Non genital touch also removes pressure to perform, reducing anxiety, and any stimulation that will tip you over the edge, as seen in the teen film
"American Pie". You will not only learn each others bodies but become accustom to their nakedness. Since you will be focusing on pleasing your partner, you'll automatically be in different frame of mind form that of intercourse. This can be used to control arousal to great success. Communication is developed between the two of you, whether this is verbal or bodily. This provides you with a good insight into your partners tell tale signs of pleasure or displeasure. This is of great advantage during all erotic and sexual encounters. Once learned the skills attained in this exercises should be utilised during sensual contact. Reading your partner is an essential tool in realizing their likes and dislikes. If this skill is properly mastered, you will be able to initiate spontaneous sex, and highly arouse your partner before penetration takes place. The problem with taking part in this exercise is its normally routinely scheduled, which removes spontaneity. So try to incorporate more touching and pleasuring into your lives. While doing this take note of your partners reactions, as they are the key to how well they are received. Particularly important are the signs you personally give off. Ensure youre in a good mood as this will rub off on your partner but be ware as the opposite is also true, and therefore she wont want your attention, and so will give off negative signs. Talk to your partner after you have spent time together, either on the topic of sex or on your non genital play/touching exercise. Find out and share your thoughts on the experience. A common problem in relationships is the failure to properly communicate around areas of intimate moments and sexual thoughts. So build up to it gradually. Listen and respond kindly, always be aware of your partners feelings. The words that come out of your month will affect her. Spontaneity as well as planned or thought events should come into this exercise. Remember this is about discovery, so think about what you would like to do. Repeat stuff that works, note what each other dislikes. Each union should be used to expand your knowledge. Basically anything goes, except genital touching including nipples (no touching) at-least at first. There are so many other areas of the body to concentrate on. So I suggest leaving her breasts alone for the time being.
you will naturally find yourself trying to please her in bed, and find your attitude has hopefully changed from wanting to "get off" to one of giving and receiving pleasure. This is by far one of the best cures of P.E. As your mind is a very powerful thing, which controls your arousal. This is not to be over looked. If you focus on giving pleasure you'll find, you have changed your desire from the following scenario: Trying to delay but in-fact really wanting that orgasm. (Sound familiar) This created conflict inside you, as your trying to fight this paradox. But if you actually focus throughout making love, on pleasing your lover, you'll be surprised how easily this focus removes this inner conflict, and allows you to please her, which has a natural way of delaying your orgasm. This is a mind technique. That naturally changes your thought pattern. So focus on her body, and throughout this exercise and regular intercourse, try to concentrate on only her pleasure. Think, what will she like now? How can I make this feel better for her, continually throughout intercourse, and constantly check up on your assumptions, and you've almost got it. To give you an example; when youre thrusting, look for her signals. Ask yourself how much is she enjoying this? If I move slightly different, will she feel more pleasure? Then try it, and note her reaction. But were not just talking thrusting here. We include every aspect of making love, touching, kissing, caressing, the way you grab her breast etc... But most importantly, don't focus on your own pleasure; concentrate on hers the whole time. Don't let this attitude waver to your own pleasure, even for a second, and this will work for you. Your new found confidence that builds from competence within this exercise will filter down to other areas of your life ensuring a happier existence for both of you. Have you ever seem those challenges on TV. At the beginning of the challenge people seem to be overcome with insecurity and nerves. If they achieve their first task, their nerves disappear and they embrace the next challenge and suddenly believe they can do anything. Especially if they believed they would not accomplish the first task. Well the same philosophy
applies here! Remember this is your time, so don't have the TV on or any other distractions around you. Both of you should be concentrating on only what feels good and (this is important) everyday hassles and worries should be left at the door. If you feel your first session went badly, talk with your partner and ascertain why this happened. These troubles could be essential in solving as they also interfere with your sex life as well as the rest of your life, and contribute if not cause P.E. Many couples find it hard to relax, with time you should learn this skill, take your time. Most of all, be persistent with your sessions. All things take time so why should this be any different? Don't push things and try to relax. I suggest you schedule one hour for these sessions, twice per week. If that's not possible you must practice at least once per week but the more the better. Caressing each others naked bodies will come to you naturally, and if insecurity is an issue for you take every thing in small steps, as you will be less likely to quit if youre enjoying the exercise. One simple step I would suggest that I've already mentioned surrounding your nakedness is, for the first few times, to undress with the lights off, as this breaks being naked into a small step, that eliminates the visual vulnerability often felt which leads to anxiety and builds unwanted pressure. Remember to keep your genitals away from each other at first, and only once you have completely covered caressing and are at an accomplished and comfortable state can you entertain into genital touching foreplay. Treat the genitals like you have the rest of the body. See what works, play with the area around them, and be adventurous. Don't do the norm. This is discovery time, and your old routine should not play any part in it. Abstain from touching the genitals until after a quarter to half an hour, so you ensure you use what you have learned and go into the sexual experience with a controlled mind. In which you can monitor your arousal, and interject the mind set of giving and receiving pleasure, rather than only wanting to "get off". This is such a powerful foreplay method, as you will be able to turn your lover on and know exactly what buttons to hit, in order to highly arouse her, because you have learned how to. This greatly reduces how long she lasts during intercourse.
One of the best ways to practice foreplay is to use the massage approach mentioned earlier, in which one receives and the other gives pleasure. This allows you to monitor better, your partners responses, and when its your turn to receive attention, learn to monitor your arousal. This understanding of your arousal, rising and falling is one of the keys to overcoming rapidity without control, and is taught in another chapter. Learning to recognise your arousal would be a great exercise to induce in foreplay, as higher levels of stimulation via your partner can be slowly introduced, and you'll find that you can build a great level of arousal awareness. This awareness is what is used to implement other techniques that are found later in the book, so is therefore a great fun and enjoyable foundation to begin with. The more fun, the less chance you will give up. Remember touch is a very important part of a relationship and should not be reserved just for this exercises. Touching each other should go on throughout your lives together. Once you feel comfortable with this exercise try some others in this book. Sexual intercourse throughout this programme can be detrimental to your progress, if not following a long foreplay session. As old habits can easily creep back in and take hold of your attempts to gain control. Unfortunately this exercise can not be carried out by the single man. Please don't despair as I have an exercise especially for you. This exercise is devised to prelude intercourse, and gain you control over your arousal rate, so pleasure, and the need to "get off" doesn't take over and distract you from implementing control. For singles more so than men in a relationship, the detrimental effect of masturbation can bring back old habits, and destroy the control achieved. So restrain from quickies, as their counter productive to the good work you put in. If possible use exercises from Solo Control as It will be more pleasurable, and offer a more gradual and controlled build up to orgasm rather than a uncontrolled rapid release, which although greatly satisfying cannot compare to the feeling of a properly controlled orgasm. This exercise can also be applied to the man with a greater libido than his lover, if he needs a release. As this reduces your libido to a more controllable level, that would otherwise leave you stranded in an explosive state, without any means of control.
Remember that you are learning your partners body and that this exercise can instigate diversity into your sex life which would not have been thought-of before. This is basically your personal foundation course in foreplay. Note the last part of the word foreplay (play) for that's exactly what you should be doing. In play you can try new things, which might bring an exciting new dimension to your sex life. After all, who wants routine sex?
This type of criticism can cause a man great anxiety. Some women, like men are really stubborn so wont listen to reason and unfortunately you cant get through to some of these people. These women don't understand that men normally feel tired and often segregated from their partner after they have come.
Mood Swing
In fact after culmination a man feels such a rapid change in mood, from ecstasy to lethargy, accompanied by an after feeling of detachment from his partner, that's completely opposed to how he felt before his orgasm. This after orgasm mood swing leaves us with such a come down, that a man who came before he wished often finds it hard to continue pleasing his partner, with any enthusiasm, which can further depress this man. His intention was not to displease his partner, quite the opposite but the sudden mood swing and discomfort felt after orgasm hindered his commitment to giving her pleasure. Women can often sense this lack of desire, and this can often understandably prevent them from coming leaving them felt used. Its not your fault; its also not their fault.
Which most men don't want to hear and is often read as "I failed" The male ego is a fragile thing, and unfortunately easily tarnished and bruised. Unfortunately this is one of the main reasons we want to have the ability to last for hours. It also makes us feel confident and self assured leaving us with a great persona. Why is this true? Because sex is an emotional roller coaster, that leaves us in a state of ecstasy and feeling of "being a man" when we get it right, and on the flip side, can have detrimental, and severe negative effects. As mentioned this is our design and unfortunately for us and our women, the norm. Fortunately we can re-build our confidence, ego, charisma and feeling of worth while removing all the negative effects, with diligent effort and the right info behind our endeavour. Couples make love in all manner of different ways. If you use minimal foreplay and always seem to come quick, there is a definite need to try something new. You may be regarded as a selfish lover, if youre so wound up in your own failure that you fail to consider your partners needs. Well its time to change and consider!
Pleasing Her
Theres a way of enjoying a productive sex lift without P.E. interfering. The simple and obvious solution is to learn how to please your partner orally or otherwise, and ensure she is sufficiently happy throughout all other areas of her relationship. Because of the innate lack of interest that some males show after sex, it is best to try and please your lover before, (or ensure she's highly aroused) you come or engage in penetrative sex. This will strengthen your sexual relationship, as doing this for her will show you care. The added bonus of ensuring you please her before sexual intercourse is its more of a turn on for you, and you will therefore be, as well as be perceived to be, exceedingly interested in pleasing her. A lot more so than you would have been after you had come.
This will make her feel good as well as show your strong interest and desire in her body. As I'm sure your aware, women are predominantly concerned about their appearance, and go to great lengths to look good and desirable, so she'll love and appreciate the interest in her body.
I'm A Sinner
My worst sin in bed was committed after I had come before my partner, and was my attempt to then please her via oral sex. I was extremely tired before hand, and now in my come down, felt completely exhausted. But being a proud man, I wasn't going to give up so easy but seemed to find the energy from somewhere. At this point I was totally disinterested in pleasing her and longing for her to come, so I could at last go to sleep. This is when I committed my worst sin, as I was finding it difficult to stay awake, and much to her surprise fell asleep while down on her. Now she didn't have to be particularly perceptive to know I wasn't giving it my all. But even without showing similar huge signs of disinterest, she can tell youre not in tune with her, so please her first while the sexual interest is still there. I would like to add that this was a long while ago but we all learn from our mistakes and I put this in as an example and to amuse you.
Being able to both enjoy that intimacy and pleasure each other in this way opens up a whole new depth to love making, and may project the view that you have a generous nature, as you are able to hold back for her. Enabling you to gratify her in a more sensually intimate and personal ways, in doing so sharing in the joy of love.
Sexual Dysfunction
Many sex therapists label P.E as a dysfunction, which suggests youre not working properly. This in my view is contrary to therapy, as it suggests there is something wrong with you, which there probably isn't, as most rapid men are fully functional human beings. It is normally conditioning yourself to perform naturally ('naturally' means coming rapidly from practising quick masturbation) which is the problem, or exceptional excitement, stress/worry which leads to your undesired affliction. So in general there is nothing wrong with you, apart from being a sum of your
circumstance. The good news for you is that means there is a way to a cure. It just takes some time and effort on your part.
Infallible Control
P.E. is more difficult to describe than people think. Many view the afflicted as being someone who came before he desires. Perfect control is something hardly anyone will achieve, and I personally view this as an illusion that we as men are socially burdened to live up to. There is only one way to achieve this, and this constitutes an almost infallible mind and body control for which Taoist masters devoted their life to. Even this is highly mythical and unfortunately beyond proof. Whats for certain is that this ability is not possessed by others, no matter how much praise they shadow themselves in. If you aim to attain perfect control you will be disappointed. So many factors affect staying power, so you may have 'perfect control', and the ability to last all night at a certain time, or night of your life, and then find yourself unable to last 5 minute at other times.
Bare With Me
I just want to describe this in a different way. Perfect control by statement requires you to have the ability to last any amount of time you desire, whenever you desire, no matter how stressed or fatigued. It also does not take into account that you might have abstained from sex for months, then meet the most erotic woman of your life. This is not to say you cant have very good control but just to enlighten you that with all walks of life, contributing factors affect how we react and perform. We have to take these things into account and prepare as best we can for them. This is the aim of this book, to prepare you for any eventuality.
Natural Reaction
P.E. affects us all differently. Normally a teen will suffer a lot higher frequency of rapid ejaculations than a man in his 50's. This apparently seems
the norm. The later in life an individual, the longer he lasts. But this is not a rule of thumb. We are all individuals, and all react differently. To amplify this statement, look at other areas of your life. Can you honestly say that you have ever met any one who reacts identically in every way to you, or any one else. Granted you will find similar people but even twins have individual personalities and what comes with that, individual reactions to any and all circumstances. I'm not saying your case is far from the norm. I'm stating the facts, which are, men experience rapid ejaculation by many different means in many different scenarios, e.g. frequency of failure to control, time lasted, awareness of arousal etc. Its very common for a man caught up in the sexual excitement of the first few nights with a new partner to find he cannot control his excitement. Its impossible to predict his after thoughts towards his eager semen. He may be over the moon with the fact he got laid or really pissed off with his performance, or feel ambivalence between the two. But once again the excitement of a new partner is the frequent cause of rapidity. It is also common for this extra novelty excitement to ware off, and his rapid ejaculation to simmer down.
If for any reason a monogamous couples regularity of sex starts to wane, the man may find him-self back in the same position as when he first started going out with his lady. This again is due to extended intervals between sexual encounters. Resulting in built up excitement and the overwhelming need to release, which puts you back in the position of coming quickly. This couples extent of time between sexual encounters has caused atrophy of his control. Similar to a weight lifter who stops working out, that finds his muscles start to shrink, as he no longer trains them as before. This may cause your synergism of mind and body to drift apart, leaving you less control. So regularity of sexual encounters certainly does play a part in your ability to control.
Please don't worry if you haven't got a partner as this book also takes that into account, and has prepared cures for the single man, so he to can feel more confident and know how to please his lover.
So how does it help us? Breathing exercises can be used to improve concentration which is what were after and also benefits us by oxygenating the body through meditation type exercises, and improves control over our ejaculation while removing "stress" which is a main cause of P.E. But why is concentration important? It makes it easier to focus on our arousal (as we will then find it easy to concentrate on this) and easy to concentrate on implementing techniques. This is difficult if our concentration isnt at its best, because intercourse is very distracting. A honed mind here is more able to monitor your arousal and implementation of control techniques. But that's not all. With a strong mind we can implement powerful mind techniques that harness our mental ability. These techniques alone may overcome any 'lasting' issues. With the power of our mind combined with the effective calming of controlled breathing patterns, in one exercise, there will be no stopping you. Good concentration is something that most of us believe we are more than capable of maintaining to a reasonable degree but in most circumstances this is not the case. To assess you concentration level, try and count to 10 in your head, one number for each breath you take, while repressing all other thoughts. Dwell on each number for as long as the breath lasts, take it slow and breathe deeply. If any other thoughts enter your mind during this test, your concentration was breached, and is far from optimum. Counting to ten like this is also a Buddhist meditation technique, where they combine concentration with breathing, so every breath corresponds to an acceding number 1,2,3,4,etc... All counted and visualised in their minds. Buddhists however use this to meditate, acceding their concentration exercises up to counts of over 100. Every time a deviant thought enters their mind, they re-start their count back from numero-uno "1". This teaches them exceptional mind control, which can be utilised in many an activity. My first thought on how powerful the mind is over ejaculation came in my teens after I had a wet dream. I'm sure you have experienced wet dreams. Can you remember what activated them? An erotic dream no doubt. But you hadn't touched yourself or received any physical stimulation, so how did it happen?
The only feasible explanation is that your mind has the ability to control your arousal and orgasm. Invariably this sounds more likely when you dwell on how arousal occurs when awake. We've all experienced it, a beautiful girl walks past, inducing an obvious bulge in our pants. This reaction was initiated all from your mind, physical touch as much as you lust for it, never happened. This brings me to another obvious observation. If our bodies did not function like this, sex would be more difficult, as Mr. Soft doesn't slide into your partner that well, and we'll invariably be less interested in sex which is contrary to the survival of our species, because if youre soft, youre not turned on, and don't want it. So if the mind has such an ability to control ascending arousal one should deduce the same power is there for the taking to reduce arousal. There are other factors to control. The main being we are fighting our natural instinct to come quick, which is aberrant from our natural path, creating difficulties to overcome. However diligence and consistent practice will see you triumph. The most prolific and memorable statement of mind control I've ever seen was a picture of a man who in protest sat down in the street and had himself burnt alive. He was not tied down or restrained and did so of his own free will. He just sat there with his legs crossed in a Buddha type pose. This man had such mind control that he could shut out the sensation of even his own burning body. If you want to see a picture of this, its on the cover of an "Offspring" CD, printed in black and white. I think it was called "Rage Against The Machine". So next time youre down at the store, have a look. We wont be trying to shut out sensation as this man did but instead control it; this is why you need to complement mind control with a good understanding of our arousal rate. But how does the breathing part come into this? I'm not sure if this is common knowledge but your breathing rate and heart rate are closely interlinked, and during high arousal our breathing and heart rate ascend hand in hand, and rapid breathing closely linked to orgasm. Therefore slowing our breathing can lower our heart rate reducing arousal. Also slow breathing is used in meditation, because it has calming properties, which also reduces our arousal to our advantage.
Unlike old control techniques e.g. concentrating on base ball cards; football scores or even counting backwards in fives etc... Breathing can be felt audibly and physically. You feel the air move through your nostrils (which is audible, making you more aware of it) and through into your lungs which is felt by the expanding of the chest and abdomen. Expelling air also creates similar feelings. Therefore breathings easier to bring into practice than these old concentration methods. Its difficult to lose sight of breathing exercises, as breathing is always there and felt, ensuring its easier to concentrate on. This is essential while engrossed in the distracting world of intercourse. Concentrating on base ball card statistics is rumoured to help control. But in fact what youre doing is isolating your mind from your body. Effectively cutting off awareness of your rising arousal, in effort to control it. Let me simply put it like this: you cant control your arousal rate if you are trying to shut this sensation out. Being constantly aware of your sensation will allow you the chance to implement control techniques. Breathing is, as already stated, a physical sensation, so using breathing as a concentration point, does not try to shut out our bodies sensations as it is one in its self. If using breathing to control it stands to reason that it will be easier to monitor your arousal as this is just another bodily sensation. Also breathing gives you a physical sensation to concentrate on, which will have the effect of introducing another physical sensation into your mind that is not arousing and is in effect calming, and if one sensation has a calming affect it might over rule another bodily sensations (heightened arousal) and interject some emotional orders as its almost impossible to be calm and highly aroused at the same time, as orgasm is a state of mind, which effect even our brain waves. I think all these singular benefits (non P.E. based) are the reason so many eastern religions and practices use breathing for meditation. Theses include Tai Chi, Taoist, Buddhism, Shaolin, and Yoga etc... They are based on the principle that the body and mind are connected. These religions have been around for hundreds if not thousands of years, so these benefits are well documented in meditation and martial arts, which also see and understand the power of breathing. All so simple, you might think, and you'll be correct in that assumption. But you were breathing last time you lost control, so how can breathing help? Well breathing is something westerners don't do too well. This sounds slightly patronising but bear with me.
It seems in general, westerners (us) are predominantly shallow breathers. This is breathing by expanding and contracting the rib cage, which does not utilise all of our lungs. Breathing using the diaphragm enables you to utilise the full capacity of the lungs. This is how we first started to breathe as babies and also how we breathe when we laugh. Benefits amount also in eliminating feeling light-headed. Energizing the body with oxygen helps clarity of thought and also assists other bodily functions and helps reduce lethargy. Clear thought is essential for concentration, so as you can see breathing and concentration are in fact closely, and naturally already interlinked. Advantages to the lymphatic system have also been seen with proper breathing. This is the system that removes waste from all reaches of the body, therefore aiding detoxification. I hope now you see why I am so fond of this breathing technique to maintain or reduce my arousal. It takes many years of practice, even a life time to achieve the concentration power of a practising Buddhist but this defined level of control isn't necessary. The purpose of this exercise is to train ourselves to gain a modest level of concentration, which calms the mind, while focusing on our breathing. We are really just learning the technique, and using it to our advantage. This greater level of concentration will also benefit other areas of our life, making it easier to study, work, train, focus, remember, and also de stress us, and the more you practice the better you become.
Proper Breathing
Now I'm going to first fully explain proper breathing. First find a place where you wont be disturbed. Try and shut out as many distractions as possible. Either sit on a chair that properly supports your back, a office chair. Sitting on a cushion or the floor is also fine. Keep your back straight and sit upright. Good posture ensures youre not constricting organs ensuring you will not be
uncomfortable, and naturally helps you portray a more confident exterior. If youre sitting on a chair keep your legs at shoulder width apart. Now place your hands on your thighs or knees in what-ever positions most comfortable. If youre sitting on the floor cross your legs or place the soles of your feet together and relax your knees, again place your hands on your thighs. Think of those traditional seated Buddha ornaments. Now we are going to run through the required breathing style. So first place your hands on your abdomen (to further isolate your bellies movements) which is immediately below your rib cage. We are going to breathe in and out using our diaphragm, which is the muscle cradling the bottom of the rib cage. If you have troubles isolating it just induce laughter. You will feel your belly being sucked in and out, and your diaphragm pushing up against your lungs. Notice how your chest hardly rises. Now push your belly out as far as you can, then suck it all the way in, as hard as you can. You should feel your diaphragm (which sits below your lungs) pushing all the air out of your system. This method of breathing utilises all our lung capacity. Normal chest breathing doesn't, and hasn't the calming (or other) properties of diaphragm breathing. Now that you've got it, push your diaphragm up, into your lungs to inhale, and pull it back down to exhale. Gain a grasp on this breathing method by practising it a few times, shouldn't take long. Next we introduce our concentration exercise. This involves mental imagery. Picture the image of the number 1 in your head, while taking in a deep slow breath then exhaling it. Now repeating but using an ascending number e.g. 1,2,3,4 etc for each breath. Breathe in then out, while counting the number 1 in your head. Now do the same, but for the second breath count the number 2 in your head etc Notice the air moving through your nose down into your lungs, also the expanding of your chest and the tightening of your diaphragm. Keep thought focused on the whole physical process, and do the same while exhaling. In effect youre concentrating on the mental imagery in your head and the
calming feel and full sensation of breathing in your body. However your aim is not to treat both visual and physical influences separately but instead combine these thoughts as one, adding greater chance of success. This is achieved by using each breath as a count of 1 ascending numbers numerically in your head with each breath, as described above. While performing this exercise you must keep your breathing slow and deep. Its all too easy to lose concentration and let your mind wander. The Buddhist solved this by applying a simple rule. If they lost concentration they would revert back and restart the exercise from the beginning. This is the best way to practice, because it will prevent half heartedness and allow you to easily assess the effect of this exercise. Which will allow you to set yourself targets. This is a highly productive way of working, as with no targets, its all too easy to give up. Therefore set a goal but at first make it low, say a full count of five, and slowly progress upwards, each time setting a new goal. Concentration is one of the key elements of memory, and this exercise will reward you many times over with residual benefits. A continuous count of 30 without deviation of thought is proof of an above average mind. Buddhists count up and over 100, which gives you some idea of how powerful the mind is. At this level absent mindedness will almost be a thing of the past and your concentration will be well beyond the level needed. I would personally take the time to make this a part of your life, and reap the benefits for your eternity. If youre not willing to do this, and face it, not every one will, you have to assess the required level of concentration needed for you to achieve control, and run with your own maintenance system. Which will probably consist of meditating at least once, or twice per week. It doesn't take up much time, so in effect its a very rewarding exercise on a time per benefits, scale. Now to use this exercise during control, you must have practised the sensory exercise that allows you to maintain conscious awareness of your arousal rate. Therefore practice at least the first part of the chapter Solo Control where this is explained and taught. Teaching you never to lose sight of when to implement control. Basically before you stoke you fire to a raging inferno.
This breathing technique can be used to gain control at any level of arousal. But I would implement it before your arousal rises too high. Practice first at a low level and then see how well this works for you at higher arousal levels. Continue the exercise until you feel your arousals descended to a level you feel safe at. Ensure you breathe slowly and deeply and slow down your thrusting, or try different thrusting techniques, as they will help. (Taught later in this book) You will be aware of your arousal level in the back ground but the calming influence of breathing will gain you control. Remember, slow deep full breaths only. The exercise is performed exactly the same way as you practiced it. Except during intercourse you'll also be thrusting or your woman will be grinding on top of you. If your lady's on top, take hold of her hips and lead her into a slower pattern of stimulation, while you practice. Practice this technique on your own at first to gain a good grasp and relive you of some performance pressure. If it works here but not with a partner, then you have to limit the amount of sensation you receive from her. Turn out the lights or ask her to move more slowly if she's on top. Try different positions. But whatever you do, don't give up. Isolate the reason for failure, because that's the route to a cure. (More on this in other chapters) Look deeper into this book for other ideas on control and ensure you read the section entitled "Filling The Sensation Gap" as this offers good ways of heightening your arousal, bringing your sensation levels nearer to that experienced during intercourse. This is especially help-full to single men who are nervous about intercourse with new partners, and even men whose lady has no time to help you practice 2+ times per week. Make sure your partner knows that she has to move on you slowly at first, to allow you to get used to her. Making love is not a race. When first practising with your partner, stop stimulation and practice the breathing exercise. This will help you become accustom to performing this exercise while aroused in-bed with your lover. Then move onto light stimulation e.g. both of you moving slowly together. Use other techniques that allow you to keep thrusting/making love while limiting sensation, which are also included within this book. This technique should ideally be combined with your solo/partnered exercises 2+ times per week.
I personally use this quite a bit as it doesn't require much practice and is easy to do, and reaps good results, what else can I say! Some people may find this exercise works equally well, just by concentrating on breathing, and not the mental imagery, see what works for you; its the only way to find out.
Section 2
Now that you have a competent mind and have practiced the above breathing technique, I want to introduce you to an easier alternative. Your mind initiates "wet dreams" without any need of physical sensation. So effectively has the ability to control arousal, by just using the power of our mind. During orgasm our brain waves actually change. So if we have a good awareness of our arousal, and instigate a mind technique that alters our brain waves, we can ward off orgasm. Ever heard of "Neurolinguistic Programming"? Its a way of developing and programming the mind to basically work as you require. This is sort of the essence of what I want to do here. Here again we are trying to calm the mind but instead of concentrating on our breathing, we will attempt to change our mental attitude by concentrating on remembering and reinstating a non aroused mental state. "So I just think I don't want to be aroused, right? Sounds a bit easy and obvious and after all I tried this before I bought your book and it failed" Well, yes you get it but you have to understand how to actually do this. Its not going to work if youre just thinking, trying to think about being calm but Im too aroused and going to come. Trying to hold it off but cant" then you came. The attitudes all wrong here, as well as the technique.
In the above scenario he was trying to 'think about being calm' rather than 'being calm'. Confused? Philosophy, its a bitch but bear with me and I'll explain. In 'thinking about being calm' his mind was gearing its self up for orgasm, his brain waves were changing and he probably was stressing him self, by repeatedly thinks "calm, calm, calm" over and over in his head. This wont calm your mind. Clarity of mind and good concentration provided by practising the Buddhist counting breathing technique, will allow you too actually over ride your minds aroused state and be calm. Be calm, I've said that more than once. Now I want to describe how to practice this technique so you can then find out for yourself what I'm rabbiting on about. Now think back to when you've have an enjoyable sex session and you were able to fulfil your partner and enjoy yourself. Afterwards sharing the bed and embracing her, youre contented but not aroused. You've had your fun. She's laying there naked, looking good and desirable, and youre content, happy relaxed and calm, almost in a tranquil state of mind. Don't just mull over this thought but actually revisit it in your mind. Become that man again, feel those thoughts. Use your imagination. Revisit in your mind, how content you felt after you had great sex. Review the calmness while youre both now relaxing. Take your mind back to this state. Enjoy the fact that you've been great and no longer feel the urges that drove you to your recent rapturous combining, as you've already satisfied them in full. Youre just relaxing, at ease and content, and very happy with the way you feel. You don't need sex, its not necessary, as your desires are gone. Youre just that relaxed, content and at ease. Youre reliving this memory in your head, so regress your mind back to this state. Look around in this memory, at her lying there, naked. She's so desirable but you don't crave to be in her but just to stay within your state of content relaxation. You notice your desires have changed, from lust to a more loving feeling, in which to reach out and touch her in an action of love and comforting reassurance to her, feeling anything but sexual desire, as youre spent, you've dried up your desires.
Look at her body. Notice she pleases your eyes but doesn't arouse you. Look at her whole body and enjoy the way she looks. Still content but still calm, totally calm and at ease. Now take a deep deserved breath of air, after all youre spent and deserve its relaxing refreshing qualities for making the whole experience what it was. Notice this deep breath while exhaling slowly seems to fit the mood. It adds to the calm and feels so right. Take another slow deep breath. Again notice that exhaling slowly and fully drives you deeper into a state of ease and peace of mind. It seems to provoke your calm while focusing and adding more to its depth, without any effort on your part. It just happens, and while this is happening you are still looking at your loved one with even greater ease, contentment and caring desire. You touch her, she touches you but this only provokes good kind generous feelings akin to a massage, as your relaxed state of mind has no desires of a sexual nature, just an overwhelming inner peace and happiness, that's shared by you both. This calm feeling is what you have to focus on, and re-live. Not the story above but the feeling described. Remember it; go over the events back in your mind, until you know that feeling exceptionally well. When you want to feel this way, take a deep breath, (its calming properties are covered in full above) and concentrate on the exhalation as you should combine it with the change in mental state back to this state of calm. On every slow deep exhalation, think of the breath as the passage back to this mental state of being calm and content. Use your hand and lower or push it away from you on every exhalation, to visually guide your descent back to this calm state. When you finish a breath, pause at the end of the exhalation and feel your descent back to this state of calm and inner peace, so far removed from the heightened excited fast breathing and quick world of orgasm. On every breath repeat the descent. Remember to take it slow, and you'll soon be lasting as long as you desire. But practice on your own as usual, which will remove some pressure and help you experiment with the exercise, and discover, in peace, how it works. You can use this exercise at any state of arousal, because it conditions the mind to relax. This technique can become very powerful with practice. Once mastered you will be surprised how this simple mental exercise affects your control.
Condoms
To some these are total passion killers. To others, an essential partner in ensuring safe sex and piece of mind. But there doesn't remain any doubt in the fact that condoms, no matter how thin, do dull sensation to the penis. To which a rapid ejaculator can take full advantage. The condom provides a wall that prevents direct sensation to the penis. The thicker the wall, the less sensation will pass through them. That is why condoms have picked up the derogatory nick name "gloves", or the more renowned name, "passion killers". So the bonus to us is, by purchasing thicker condoms will relieve more sensation than thinner ones. Effectively increasing your lasting time, and chances of maintaining control. Condom companies are not trying to label their product a sensation killer, its bad for business. They have been working hard for years to manufacture condoms that allow as much sensation through as possible, to shake of this sensation sapping image. But for someone trying to limit sensation is bad news, as they can cause them to go floppy. For this reason we have to choose the best condoms for our desired sensation level. Normally the thinner condoms are advertised as giving great sensation, while the thickest condoms are normally advertised as the safest variety. These "safe" varieties are the ones to choose if youre having problems lasting, as they are often three times a thick as the thinnest. It would be advisable to use these thick ones when first meeting a new girl, that youre not accustom to. Even when you have good control over your arousal. If they make you last too long, you could always tell her you just wanted to make her happy etc. which I'm sure will stand you in good light. Condoms can provide a man with a certain degree of security, even if he does not realize it. A man who is used to using them may find with a new or current partner, that the elimination of this slimy garment, subjects him to a new found state of arousal which immediately places him in a easily over stimulated situation. For which he finds him-self coming without any control and lasting longevity, removing all delusions of competent control.
This normally comes with a shock as it affects people of all ages whether you are 16, or over 60. Off course I find it my duty to remind you, especially as this section is on condoms that you should only repel their use if other birth control methods are in place, the pill etc, and sexual histories are well known, in the stable ground of a monogamous relationship. If youre unsure of exposure to possible sexual diseases, your doctor or local clinic can test you and your partner, with confidentiality completely assured. On the other end of the stick, some chap may lack the ability to last but finds condoms grant him a new found level of control. So condoms dont seem to annoy everyone. Most condoms have a lubricant in-place to help mimic the natural lubricants of a receptively moist vagina. These lubricants are normally accompanied by a spermicide for obvious reasons. Lubrication on the external surface of condoms is mostly beneficial to the lady, in alleviating any friction causing discomfort on entry, also aiding internal lubrication if the lady is dry. You may also purchase separate lubricants if she requires. Lubrication on the internal of the condom provide only provides stimulation for the man and has no sexual benefit to the lady. So for better control, I suggest finding condoms with minimal or no internal lubricant as this alleviates some sensation. I have not heard of dry condoms chaffing the penis but if you experience this go back to fully lubricated ones, and wait till the soreness has subsided before you engage in your next sexual encounter. Other reasons men don't like condoms is because the whole process of applying them puts a halt between foreplay and penetration. In a way this spoils the mood. Adding to this is their ability to trap pubic hairs at the base of the penis, making them quite uncomfortable. If you often experience this try trimming your pubic mound. Use scissors, or the trimmer section found on the side of most flat head electric shavers. Learning to quickly apply condoms is a great asset as it doesn't spoil the mood, especially if applied while continuing to pay attention to your partner. You can still kiss her while applying them, or make applying one, part of foreplay, in
which both or you are involved. The main benefit to foreplay is the ability to not just turn your lady on but build her arousal up to a high level before penetration. So if you integrate applying the condom into foreplay, you will eliminate the waiting time your partner normally endures. While your fumbling to put it on. This waiting time serves you badly. As it eliminates all the work you put into arousing your partner. Because her arousal will certainly drop while your fumbling with the condom. The smooth integration of applying the condom will maintain her arousal. Which ensures she's more turned on, at the point of penetration, and so she will find it harder to last as long as normal. Which means you don't have to. See the benefit? As already discussed, the main problem with applying a condom is it interfears with the smooth transition from foreplay to penetration and this application time may be enough for your lady to lose considerable arousal. This is why before foreplay you have to ensure your condom is easily at reach, and possibly already opens. Its even better if you have already discerned which way round it goes. There tricky little buggers. Just thought Id mention here that if you do find you've just started to apply the condom on the wrong way round. (So it doesn't unroll) You could have already contaminated the outside of it with semen which are present in your precome, or any other infection that you don't know you have. Throw it away and use another one. Rubbers have the advantage of removing some of the mess from sex. They bag-it for you, leaving your lady with less of a clean up on her hands and everywhere else. Her alternate delight to your glove puppet, may also reside in the consequence of not needing to start a course of birth control pills, "the pill". Which has a numerous list of side effects, one of the most obvious being the retention of fat. Others include depression, the list goes on. Condoms aren't advertised as being 100% effective as a contraceptive even though some of them sport the germicide known as "Nonoxynol-9" that kills sperm and is also very effective at killing HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. This is mainly because of improper use, or ripping or weakening while applying e.g. catching your nail on it. Do always check the expiry date. Its there for a reason. Most condoms these days contain "Nonoxynol-9". If choosing a condom for oral sex, try and find one without it, as ladies don't like the taste. But always use
a condom with Nonoxynol 9 for penetrative sex for extra protection. Now a warning of a different kind. Oil based lubricants will render your condom useless in a matter of seconds, if you don't believe me apply some oil to a latex (most condoms are made of latex) surgical type glove. These are the thin gloves that have become popular with mechanics. The oil will turn their integrity to one not dissimilar to wet tissue paper. So only use reputable water based lubes such as KY Jelly, with condoms, as it only takes a small amount of oil to cause problems. Massage oils and suntan lotions are all oil based, so stay clear. Even wash your hands before handling. Some condoms are specifically made to help overcome premature ejaculation. I assume these will be thicker than normal condoms. But the main difference from these and the "safe" variety is an internal de-sensitizing solution that stops your penis from receiving to much sensation. Durex has cleverly applied this de-sensitizing lotion to the internals of its premature ejaculation curing condom, in a way which only allows the release of this de-sensitizer, when heats applied, in other words just after you put it on. This stops the solution from adhering to the outside of the condom while rolled up, and numbing your partners vagina, undesirable. I am including a list of reputable suppliers of various condoms that offer good prices and especially delaying condoms, on my web site so please visit for more info. Click here for the website.
Delaying Ointment
Many attempts have been made to cash in on people suffering with ailments, and that suffices also to people with P.E. Its often indiscernible, whether these treatments work, as there never seems to be enough effective proof that doesn't have seem to have an invested cash incentive, pushing you towards a product. Often these unscrupulous companies try and cash in on peoples eagerness to resolve their problem, and offer a quick fix solution. Their claims often sound too good to be true, and should be viewed with caution. On the market today, you'll find a few P.E. cures. The one that comes up the most seems to be ointments of all different makes and varieties that you apply
to the head of the penis, which expresses certain numbing properties. Yes, its a mild anaesthetic. I personally never felt the need to use such a substance, and preferred a natural self taught method, developed through research and understanding of how our bodies work. But I am not you, and you may feel the need to use alternate methods. I personally would only recommend using numbing ointment when youre going through a bad patch, or when faced with a new sexual partner, and in need of some reassurance. There are certain considerations when using numbing ointments. The first is you have to apply some of them 45 minutes before hand. So check before you buy. Therefore you better be good at judging when you need it, and if youre not using a condom, there is always the prospect you'll transfer any surface ointment to your lady, which could ruin her night of passion. Also ask the manufactures if they are Ok to be used with condoms, as these are fragile things, and extremely sensitive to any oil based product. Make sure you know if the product lingers on the surface of the penis. I've read some that say, its absorbed within minutes and no traces are found but tell that to your lady when her tongue and lips are numb but its one way to put her off if she has a small mouth, sharp teeth and likes ye-old fellatio. I would love to hear all feed back on products you used that claim to assist curing premature ejaculation. So I can provide product reviews for customers. Even though I've not given this product the warmest review, as I'm forever the sceptic, its worth noting that these lotions seem here to stay, so may work for you. I've spoke to people in the know about the application and actual usage, and no ones partners seemed to notice the numbing effect. I have also been told that if directions are properly followed and a small amount applied correctly to the penis head, that transference to your partner is basically avoided, as the penis head absorbs all the numbing solution. If youre interested in any of the many web based product, contact their site before purchasing to see if you receive a response, and also look for their company address on their web site. If its not there, I would advise not to purchase. Also find out if there is a guarantee, and if not ask for one. 100%
money back, without question is the only thing that'll do, to ensure your rights as a consumer. For your interest, I may list these products, and when feedback is attained, it'll be posted on my site. So click here if you'd like to learn more about a few common numbing solutions.
PC Clamps
The PC is a group of muscles, used at the edge of climax to dissuade ejaculation. So basically put it, this muscle can help us extends control. Its exceptionally useful for people wishing to become multi-orgasmic, and anyone who wants to make the Gold Coin technique hands-free, essential reading. There are countless other benefits, so read on and discover. Ever heard of the PC exercise? If you have, you may have stumbled on the controversy regarding its application in aiding control over ejaculation. This scepticism exists because correct teaching of how to use ones PC muscle is normally not available, or not represented in full to-us by the adjudicating proclaimer. The PC is a muscle which receives its bad praise because its easy to use incorrectly. In doing so it can actually cause us to ejaculate quicker, and we don't want that. With proper use the PC can eliminate a high degree of hyper-sensation, which as I keep repeating throughout this book, is the feeling of discomfort or pain felt in the penis immediately after ejaculation. The cause of hyper-sensation is "ejaculation" not "orgasm". Here again I repeat, ejaculation and orgasm are effectively separate entities, that happen to occur simultaneously. By preventing ejaculation but still engorging our-selves in, and enjoying orgasm, we can continue thrusting, and even become multi-orgasmic. Even if you've had a vasectomy, ejaculation and hyper-sensation still occur, as only a small percentage of the ejaculate was prevented from escaping, the part that's mainly sperm. The rest is not made in your balls but in the seminalvesicle, which is next to the prostate. The PC can also be used to effectively delay orgasm and affect control when right on the verge of ejaculation. Preventing us tipping over the edge when we come too close to ejaculating. Its like an extra line of defence, for when we are having trouble with other cures. Other benefits of exercising this muscle include harder erections; you will seem firmer and more engorged on a permanent basis. Your lady will notice the difference. This may also affect your flaccid length, as the harder erections endured by pc clamps help you balloon your penis.
By lengthening sex with the knowledge attained from this book, you'll also stretch your penal tissue which keeps it from contracting to its full extent. Resulting in your penis looking longer while flaccid and erect. Porn stars use this exercise to build solid erections, which also helps them delay. Also this helps them squirt their ejaculate across the room. Yes, after practising this, you will be able to ejaculate like a porn star. This can seem very impressive to you lady and feels so much better than lackadaisical semen dribbling out of you. The PC's delaying properties also yield other sexual benefits. Allowing you to reach new heights in sexual pleasure. Can also cause orgasm to be stretched and controlled to consume our body with rapturous sexual bliss. The twitching that comes with orgasm (10+ contractions that come with the pumping of your ejaculate) will also be more pronounced, you and your lover will notice this new found strength inside her. As a result of your harder erection your penis will bow strongly towards you body, eliminating any softness that you may of had previously. Within your lover this will have the effect of applying pressure to her G-spot, when making love face to face. You can even tap her G-spot it by flexing your PC. A stronger PC muscle gives you the ability to intensify your pleasure throughout sex.
Multi-orgasm would not be possible without a strong PC muscle. You may already have one, if not you need to exercise it. But everyone benefits from strengthening this muscle group. It is effectively the road to better sex.
Weak PC Muscles
Weak PC muscles will allow the early initiation of ejaculation with little or no control on your part. Which can cause you to have unsatisfactory orgasms as ejaculation happened before you were at your most sexually aroused. This muscle can also cause other exercises to fail, as there's a weak link in your body. To identify if your PC is especially weak, try clenching it to see if you can clearly see your penis jump, when partially or fully erect. Or urinate and see if it jumps as you squeeze the last drops of urine out of your body. If you can maintain the squeeze for a few seconds, you probably have a normally operating PC muscle. Ever heard of the Kejal, its effectively the same exercise as clamping your PC but for women. Invented by the gynaecologist Dr. Kejal, how he thought of the name I'll never know, complete genius! Anyway this exercise was designed to tighten womens vaginas after they gave birth, as they stretch most of the muscles used, in the process. This exercise is still used today, to great effect. There is even a very expensive longitudinally split dildo with, effectively a spring in between the two sections, that women can place inside their vagina to practice clamping against. The spring allows them to practice squeezing it shut, so they have resistance, and something to work with. Women who practice these will be able to give you more of a squeeze, when youre inside them. If you have practiced the Gold Coin technique, and want to learn to make it hands free. You can simply do this just by using your PC muscles. You simply substitute the finger lock for a hard and continuous PC muscles clamp, of the same duration at the same time. No fingers are required. A side benefit of this is it prevents semen leaving your body. So your lover can have the luxury of not receiving any of your semen in her mouth, when she gives you a blow job. That is, if she doesn't like the feeling or taste of your fluids. So no more excuses then!
Developing Your PC
It will take you on average at least two months of development work to create a PC muscle strong enough to overcome seminal flow. The other problem is the PC muscle twitches at orgasm, and youre therefore fighting your bodys natural rhythm. This will take you time to achieve. Practising multi-orgasm is a good way of learning to clamp at the correct time. Because while becoming multi-orgasmic you will obviously reach orgasm more than once, and practice using your PC muscle multiple times, while trying to avoid ejaculation. Light clamps work well at preventing ejaculation when right at the edge, and must be applied before contractions start (the twitching that pumps semen out of you) and continue to apply it until after they stop, when you feel youre back on track. Ok, so were not just trying to strengthen this muscle group but also condition it to perform when we want it to. This therefore requires that we train our muscle not to just to be strong but conform to our wishes. Clamp your muscle right now, and see how long you hold that contraction on for. Did you manage three seconds? Its harder to continually apply this muscle than most people think. So we also have to train our muscle to clamp for a designated amount of time. Normally we experience less than 15 seconds worth of contractions (involuntary penis throbbing/twitching) at orgasm and therefore we need to train our muscle to clamp for at least this long. So we should practice doublequadruple time clamps to ensure success. Which consist of 30-60 seconds of clamping on a regular basis. One of the best ways to strengthen these muscles is to practice short contractions. Basically rapid tensing and relaxing/releasing. This is because these are easy to do, and holding a long clamp may be difficult, if not impossible at first.
Exercise 1 Beginner
Contract your pc 100 times fast but don't get sloppy with the intensity, the harder the better. The second you've relaxed, begin the next contraction.
Exercise 2 Intermediate
Begin as before, 100 fast contractions, then 20 x 2 seconds of contractions. Then 10 x 4 seconds of contractions. Then finish with 100 fast contractions.
Advanced Technique
100 fast, then 10 x 10 second contractions, then one 30 second contraction then 50 fast, (you can take it a bit easier with this 50) then another 30 second contraction. Then as always to ensure you've properly tired the muscles, the 100 fast, that ensures a thorough exercise.
exercising while writing this. I don't stick to a routine, because I know I do over 3-6 hundred contractions at least every other day, and incorporate long squeezes of the PC (equivalent to the 60 second clamp) into my varied routines. Die hard PC exercise fans are people who practice over 700 clenches every day. I do not. I personally don't want to spend the time and have other things to do. You only need to practice as much as needs be, to gain a strong PC. The PC can, unlike other muscles in the body, be exercised every day, so your routine and frequency's up-to you. I would at first practice every day, so you get yourself into the habit, and then move to every other day. All exercising can become tedious, so not practising every day will give us a valid break, and relax from any associated boredom. Try to set yourself a goal. Say 300 contractions, before you can start taking days off. Then try a new goal, a 1 minute clamp for instants. Creating goals gives us challenges that were more likely to strive to achieve. Each month take a stop watch and time how long you can clamp for, and subsequently try and break it.
Taoist
Taught in 'Taoist sexual Kung-Fu' (which is just a fancy name for proficiency in sexual teachings) is a certain technique for delaying ejaculation. This comprises the fact that the testicles pull close to the body in a high state of arousal. Even though this happens to all men, its oddly not apparent to many. What Taoists noted, was that by holding the testicles down and preventing their rise, that ejaculation could be delayed. Some say prevented, I have only noticed mild benefits at best but others have told me that they had great success with this method. But remember, if this experience causes you any pain youre performing this exercise incorrectly, as none should be felt. Its quite a difficult technique to achieve in the heat of the moment, while moving, and concentrating on your partner etc. So try practising this at home on your own first. You'll probably be quite surprised how difficult it is to keep the buggers hanging. Best applied while on top of your partner, as its almost impossible to reach round and grab them while she's on top. Clutch the scrotum with your thumb and fore-finger, and prevent its rise, only release your grip when you want to come. This should not hurt. If it does, ditch it. There are better exercises later in the book. But this is an option which might work for you but have no effect on someone else.
The testicles are held with thumb and fore-finger to form an OK sign round your scrotum, between your body and your balls. Of course, when it comes down to it, this seems a little taxing and over complicated, especially in the heat of the moment. But lucky for you the sex industry has come to the rescue as they produce garments which provide the same effect. These days its possible to buy bands which Velcro attach and tighten or popper together in varying widths, that can be placed around the scrotum before sex. These can be left on until youre ready to remove them. Again if pain is felt remove them at once.
You can also purchase metal rings which fit around your balls but they aren't easily removed, so I don't advise them + I reckon they look quite cold and heavy. Some of these rings are designed to stretch the scrotum for people wanting that more hung look. Thats why some are weighted. I personally would not want them on my sack while its swinging. But to enlarge the scrotum, a number of these rings are usually used in tandem. I tried the leather popper ones, as no Velcro noises would be heard and hairs less likely to be pulled once applied. They also looked more durable. I would personally only purchase these if you had success with the exercise during practice.
Cock Rings
The subject of scrotum rings, bring me to write also about the benefits of cock rings. These are sometimes used as an erection aide, which help maintain hardness if a man has a weak erection. They can also be used to help retain firmness after a man comes prematurely. As normally after ejaculation he will become flaccid in a short space of time. To alleviate any pain caused by continuing to thrust after you've come (I call this hyper sensation) use the Finger Lock which is also called Gold Coin technique, as described in the chapter called Million Dollar Technique which is name number 3. One old premature ejaculation cure is called the squeeze technique. I would never recommend using this method but wanted to mention that the cock ring if constricting the penis, can actually work in a similar way. In doing so prevents seminal fluids escaping from the penis which helps with-hold ejaculation. Constricting the penis with a cock ring sounds a bit painful for my liking but it might be an option for you. Do be careful as the penis is a delicate thing. In choosing a cock ring, go for one which is adjustable, as every cock is different, and also choose one which is easily released when finished with. (Remember your penis expands!!!) Some non adjustable ones have tabs on them to facilitate removal, if you don't use a adjustable one go for one of these, as they're normally made out of flexible rubber. Please remember these inexpensive items are available in any sex shop, online or otherwise, and might help you. This might be the edge youre looking for, that makes it easier to delay, so don't dismiss them. They could help you.
Teenaged Sex
The debate still goes on and were not talking the one that involves some tissues, lubricant, a magazine and five minutes of your spare time. I'm referring to debate over the causes of rapidity (P.E.) in older men, that it's a result of quick sex and rapid masturbation when they were young, and they grew up with this habit. Over the years they conditioned it into them-selves. I've read many views relating to the 'for' and 'against' this philosophy. Personally I believe in some circumstance its definitely related. One thing I do know if I think it might help its going in this book. The following relates to, and is therefore hopefully helpful to the teenage man. Please indulge my hypothetical analysis of situations and relate these issues to your own. If this section only gets you thinking, then it has done its job. Even if you view my opinion as complete nonsense. Of occurs this sections here to deal with some of the problems that lead to rapidity in young males.
Teen Sex
You've got your girl, she wants to, you definitely want to but you haven't got anywhere to get at it. Normally teenage fumblings happen on the couch, your room or even your car. This presents problems. You can be constantly anxious about interruptions to your privacy inducing frantic fumblings and an urge to get it done and out of the way. The correct "mind set" is therefore not induced, and therefore control can be easily lost. You should be focusing on giving and receiving pleasure. Monitoring your own arousal should not be out of mind, also keeping in contact with your partners arousal is paramount, and ensuring that youre on the same plane as her, both connected as one in this sexual bliss. Normally however your attention is distracted totally away from this. Leading
to a detachment from sex while introducing rapid-ness, caused by the need to get it done and out of the way before youre found out. This may lead to a lack of intimacy if not over-come later in life, as while in this "mind set" the intimacy that's required for a productive sex life (A connection between you both, physically and mentally) can not be maintained or even induced. Intimacy is a huge part in a healthy (sexual and non-sexual) relationship, and is never to be overlooked. This is why it is always best to learn to enjoy and become at ease with sex with a long term partner Who will share in the experience and joy of intimacy. Helping you remove the hang ups and fears of intercourse. This bond will allow you to experiment, fail and succeed. While educating you in the sexual world of your partners and your own body. If you feel that you worry too much about getting sex out of the way, steady progress can be made through study of exercises within the book. I would suggest starting with the exercise called Realising Control
Intimacy
Before you discuss sex with your girl friend, you have to build intimacy. Part of intimacy is sharing, trusting, listening, loving etc... And the other is the physical side, which is equally important as learning how to physical touch each other also builds the bond between you. Although the physical and emotional side of a relationship are closely interlinked, I want to dwell briefly on the physical side of things. The main issue is to learn to enjoy each others bodies. This should be under taken at a rate that allows you both to be comfortable with each others progression. Touching someone else's body for the first time is an intimate process, and can easily repel your partner if she is not ready, leaving her feeling uncomfortable. This is the reason, in any relationship, you will want to integrate touching into its foundation. But touching should be made to be as affectionate and loving, not purely for self gratification. Which wont make her feel that special. Don't make her feel like a piece of meat. (Used)
If you judge the way you extend your touching you will not have made your partner feel as if you are invading her space but instead just continued to extend the familiarity in a progressive intimate and loving manner. The benefits are endless as you will naturally feel more comfortable with her and this knowledge will stand you in good stead, while placing her at ease and make her feel more comfortable. As a result you will be more at ease and familiar with her body. This familiarity can only help ensure less apprehension and bring about a calmer environment in which to progress into a sexual relationship. This removes some stress, anxiety and pressure which are key points in causing problems with rapid ejaculation.
This will build respect which will give your requests added regard and value, and hopefully afford you the privacy you require. All said and done, they can still be in the way. Clubs and social events are some sources of entertainment for parents. Encourage their involvement, and point out local events that may interest them. Get to know your parents and your girlfriends parents habits and interests and meet up with your girl accordingly. If they show little respect for your wishes you can try doing some thing that might help them, like wash their car, or mow the lawn etc. This might put them in a different frame of mind, be cunning. Its very difficult for me to suggest how to secure uninterrupted private time, as every ones situation differs. All I can suggest is using your head. Persistence in cures within this book will help you gain higher control, so persevere and remember that jacking off quickly is detrimental to control. As you are trying to educate your body to 'naturally' delay. If privacy is not afforded to you for practising solo exercises use the bath room, take your time, put on some music to cover your tracks etc. But do give yourself time to adhere to this programme. Most of the methods will not work at first and will take time to practice, so please apply diligence as attaining control is a pleasure all of its own, which only leads to a more pleasure and happy life. Most of all enjoy your teenage years.
Female Orgasm
It is a fact that hardly any women orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. Most of their orgasms are a direct result of our influence while inside, on their clitoris. Which is indirectly stimulated during intercourse. We all know that women crave hard cock inside them to get them off. And they love the feel of it pounding away within them. That goes without saying. But the fact remains that the clitoris is the key to most womens orgasms. Women generally aren't as easily turned on as men. They need to be romanced. The right mood created. The whole 9 yards.
Lovers with P.E. that are able to tend to their lovers needs (romance etc) are generally more in tune with how to please their lover in bed. To put it bluntly, they know what she wants. But we all know what woman want in bed. So what's the difference between us and them? The answer is these lovers have mastered the technique, of how to give them what they want. This makes them more confident, and at ease in bed which helps them create the mood they desire. Because they have faith in their ability to please their lover. They are also perceived by woman to be great lovers. This alleviates any inadequacies, which often cause the onset of nerves, while in the bedroom.
Which is basically the learning process of how to please her in bed. This will come to you easily if attention is only being received by your lover. So no 69's, while pleasing each other. This leaves you free from paying attention to your arousal rate and having to implement control. Once you know this, you can apply this gift to any woman. To insight sexual arousal. And not only read but anticipate what to do to heighten the experience for them. If you can make her feel great. She's more likely to do the same for you. And if you can stimulate her to a high degree of arousal, before penetration she wont be able to last as long as normal. Which is good news if you then penetrate her. I'm sure you were expecting something more productive than just a reference to another chapter, and me telling you not to let romance die. So I'm going to relieve the tension right now by telling you there's more, and what you've heard so far is just the basic essentials. But it all ties in together.
Clitoral stimulation...
Is the key to this method. As previously mentioned clitoral stimulation is the only reason most women come. This is the most sensitive area of the vulva. The study of the development of men and women through foetal stages reveals that the clitoris and penis are actually formed the same way, from the same tissue. Which means they are the sexual organ equivalents between the sexes. And is why the clitoris is so sensitive, just like the penis. A man that takes full advantage of this fact. By arousing her, with skills learned from the exercise in the chapter Realising Control can arouse and greatly stimulate his woman. By then taking full advantage of the fact that the clitoris is the most arousing part of the female body. You can stimulate your lady to orgasm. For more information on stimulating the clitoris refer to the chapter entitled Oral.
her what she desires. Orgasm through vaginal stimulation. (Which indirectly stimulates her clitoris) Use the skills picked up through practising the chapter Realising Control on reading your lovers body language. This will enable you to anticipate when your woman is nearing orgasm. Most women make it plainly obvious, so not much skill is needed at all. But you can pick up on other tell tale signs. Like involuntary muscle spasms, gyrating her hips/pussy; tell-tale breathing patterns, noises etc... Once you stimulate her to orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris a few times, you will have picked up on these signs that you probably never noticed before. Mainly because youre normally caught up in the moment, and it all becomes a blur of frenzied sexual ecstasy. Which isnt such a bad thing. Now that you know pretty much when she's going to come, you can use this knowledge, and the knowledge of your own arousal, (How long you think youre going to last) to time exactly when to penetrate her. So you can both achieve parallel culmination. Premature ejaculation by definition is: Not being able to come when you desire. So using this method to make love ensures you come exactly when you want to. Therefore you have successfully worked around P.E. and it becomes a thing of the past. You will then be able to use these skills to enter into any sexual experience with a new partner, without fear of premature ejaculation rearing its ugly head.
30 Second Man
Some people may think that they don't last long enough to attempt this. But you can orally or manually stimulate your lover as in above. Right up to the last 30 seconds needed to induce her orgasm. If you then only last 30 seconds, you can still penetrate her and implement this technique to your benefit. If using a condom apply it well before hand. Using a thick one will reduce sensitivity to your penis, always helpful for those few extra seconds. If you do come before her, before you've mastered this technique. Tell her
you found her so exciting and sexy that it was impossible for you to maintain control. This will make her feel better, if she didn't receive her deserved orgasm. Now you could always stimulate her to orgasm, via other means, oral or otherwise. This method of making love is so much easier to the premature ejaculator as it relieves all the stress and worry. Actually allowing you to relax, without fear of impending orgasm creeping up-on you. Then when its time for penetration, you get to enjoy every sensation without worry of loosing control, and fear of coming before your partner. Ensuring making love is the exciting fun filled event that it should be. Which you can now enter into with confidence in yourself, that you can please your lady.
Common Myth
Its actually a myth that many men who can last longer than you, culminate at the same time as their lady. Such is the accuracy of this statement. That by
using the method above to culminate together, you will have joined an elitist group of lovers who are privileged to this sexual experience. Mutual culmination produces a level of intimacy that few people share, and shouldn't be over-looked. Many men can last longer than you but I ashore you; most of them wont be able to make a woman feel as good as you now can with these simple techniques.
Low libidos
Of course there's one slight problem for those of you with a low libido. This being once you've had your mono moment you may find you have no interest in any sexual encounter with your lady afterwards. In order to rectify this, get to know how long it takes for your libido to rise so you regain sexual interest in your lady, without again ending up like a loaded gun. You can always result to aphrodisiacs to lift you back up a notch if desired.
Beneficial Relief
Masturbation has so many positive benefits. Its great for stress relief and alleviating sexual frustration. It feels good, and can be of great benefit to the over worked, as it takes you away from it all, to a rapturous place, at least for a while. But most importantly it alleviates sexual tension. Self-pleasing can teach you a great deal about your body. Its sort of a self discovery process and the same goes for your partner. These personal moments
can also help a relationship in which both couples libidos are not matched. If the partner with the higher libido uses self pleasing, they will alleviate the problems of feeling sexually deprived, and bring about a balance in their relationship. I think it is often under-estimated how deprivation of sexual needs affects relationships, as it can lead to resentment which may manifest its-self through all other areas of the relationship. The only problem with this technique is you cant always anticipate when youre going to have sex, so its more of a helpful hint than a powerful technique but that's why you have all these other chapters to read through.
And as a by product it meant it was easier to continue thrusting after ejaculation, in so helping you satisfy your partner. Also I expect pregnancies were avoided with this technique as it prevents ejaculation but not orgasm. This isn't an effective means of contraception, and should never be used as one because semen can be ejaculated in your precome, which lubes your penis, while thrusting.
Rejuvenating Properties...
Are provided by retaining your semen within your body. Your semen is mixed with the rest of your ejaculate (fluids) just after passing through your prostate. These fluids are believed by Taoists to contain vital bodily nutrients, that when used in the form of ejaculation, drain our bodies natural energy. We are effectively depleted, and that's why Taoists named ejaculation The Little
Death. This weakening leaves us more susceptible to illness and fatigue, and is the main reason football coaches don't allow their players to engage in sex, the night before a big game. Sex on the contrary can actually benefit our health according to the Taoist but only by retaining ejaculation as we re-absorb this vital essence and can learn to produce sexual energy, (refer to multi-orgasm) so its not all Bad news.
Natures Way
Their reason for believing that we lose vital nutrients stems from the fact that gods other male creatures expend all their energy in the act of procreation. Take the Salmon for example. It swims for hundreds of miles and fights its way back up stream to its place of birth. There, once spawned, withers and dies. Although procreation for us doesn't engage us in anywhere near the same journey, (If were lucky we only have to role over) Taoists believed we pass on, in our ejaculate a rich concoction of bodily fluids that are absorbed and utilised by our lady as her body adapts to produce a child. This sends us into a period of rejuvenation, in which we feel drained and lethargic, hence sleepy after sex.
The best way to find it is when erect, feel how your shaft goes into your body above and through your scrotum, and runs down to the anus, where it enters your body. This whole area will be hard when erect. Your G.C. (Gold Coin) point is in the lower section near your anus. When pushing this point you need to use quite a bit of pressure, you'd be surprised but it should not be at all painful. This is not just me covering my self for legal reasons, this is a fact. (No pain)
Using it
The best way to grasp this pressure point is by using 3 fingers. Your index finger and the two adjacent fingers. The two adjacent fingers push hard on either side of your urethra while you push upon your urethra, only with your index finger, through your tissue. Basically the two side fingers stop the urethra moving or popping sideways, away from your exerted pressure applied by your index finger.
When pushing you should be able to feel the urethra as a small tube (harder line) running vertically in-line with your erect penis and anus. This is felt by pushing down about half, to a full inch on this pressure point.
Push momentarily too late and you might think you've successfully applied this technique. But if next time you urinate, it appears lumpy, then you were only just too late. As you stopped your ejaculate ejaculating but did not prevent the seminal fluids moving. Your semen had no where to go so ended up backing up your urethra into your bladder. Incidentally this is totally harmless, and nothing to worry about. Just try to apply the technique a little earlier next time.
your legs from your front, past your knob and testicles. This will allow you to grasp the technique. Once mastered, practice implementing as you would with your lover. You wont be able to reach your G.C. from your front, as your lady will be in the way. So reach round behind you, over and round your bum, reaching over the anus. And try using the G.C. pressure point that way. If you have a steady partner, its possible for her to implement it for you, if she's on top. Therefore making it "hands free", nice! At first concentrating on implementation can be distracting, and you may find it spoils your orgasm. Often people find they get used to this quite quickly, and it no longer spoils their fun in any way.
Blue Balls
There is only one problem with this technique and that is after you retain semen you may be aware of a dull ache in your balls. This symptom is commonly referred to as 'blue balls' and is only associated with this technique when first practising, as your body quickly adapts to its new found skill. This only affects a small majority of men so it wont probably happen to you. All thats required to alleviate the symptoms is a personal testicle massage, after this it should not cause you any more bother.
Victorian beliefs
Most of these beliefs came from within a religious society portrayed by the church. In the Victorian era things were even worse. Victorian society saw fit to place torturous devices on the penis of adolescent boys, that would cause severe pain and lacerations if the boy became erect during the night. To give you a example of such devices, one consisted of a metal band type cock ring with 4 long sharp metal spikes that protruded towards its centre and thickened where they attached the cock ring. This type of device would seem quite at home in Madame Tussauds Chamber of Horrors but was actually designed to prevent what was then regarded as a sin. Erections in the night, believing they were the devils work.
It is such devices and practice which show how times have changed, and gives insight into religious beliefs of old. In todays world we understand that erections during the night are intrinsic to all males, and are thought to aide circulation and may help maintain elasticity and circulation, in so nourishing the penis. Which is a natural occurrence, not cultivated and nurtured by the devil.
and viewing the actual copulation of any species in the animal kingdom but watching human couples come together in the act, even though its not normally for procreation is something completely different, in everyone's eyes. While on the other hand, lovers guides which are as graphic, are not considered a taboo because their generally intended for couples, and can be considered as a marital aide to bring couples closer together and prevent promiscuity in creating a tougher monogamous bond, so helping a relationship. While the watching of porn although identical in what it reveals, serves only one purpose, which is for idol hands whose intent is to excite, fantasize and whack off in solitude. Again this taboo is regarded as the devils hands at work. This is where I would like to make a distinction. There are legitimate reasons to masturbate. Which are not commonly understood, so fall foul of scorn. Like the lovers guide, masturbating to enhance our marriage, in learning to bring your lover pleasure, must be viewed with good intent, and accepted.
Sexual problems
Society also uses and accepts that marriage counselling is quite a common place these days. Which is commonly provided to us by the State. Other marital problems are commonly accepted and readily treat-able by councillors and the medical field. One such problem I would like to highlight in particular is "Impotence".
Which is classed as a relationship problem that's commonly offered forms of treatments. Another sexual dysfunction, on similar lines, is P.E. To which councillors commonly prescribe masturbation and partner participating exercises. No one seems to agree on anything these days. But I would find it hard to see in western civilisation that a community leader, or religion, could condemn the cure of impotence. For the simple reason, curing promotes and strengthens the relationship bond between two people. Therefore helping any marriage. Which as stated above, propagates a healthy stable relationship and environment to raise a family. And these are views shared by community leaders, and religions.
Masturbation, accepted
So the only problem with this type of cure (masturbation) is the way in which masturbation is perceived. This taboo creates conflict, which I class as an infringement of your body. As this installs guilt which can often make a mockery out of any cures youre diligently participating. Because we often regard masturbation as a bad thing. This view point is essentially wrong, and can cause insecurity and encourages self imposed anxiety, and with this, disrupts your progress while under-taking masturbation type exercises. Undue negativity is associated with masturbation, and although times have changed, absorption and acceptance of this male prerogative is, as always, a slow process. We are how ever starting to realise that there is an up side. Benefits are here to reap and masturbation is now part of our culture, and regarded as normality, not a sin. This is further enforced by the fact that you will be using masturbation in a way that will strengthen relationship bonds. Which is exactly what religious and community leaders teach.
I bet not many people tell you that masturbation is a good thing, and that I'm one of few, if not the first. Which is why I wrote this section. To alleviate undue negativity towards your progress to become a better lover. Whos more capable of tending your lovers needs. That goes along way to creating a stable and balanced relationship. I once herd some one say that; "When everything well in bed, I feel that I can conquer anything." This type of mood can only be a good thing. Youre happy, she's happy, and you'll both be happier with each other. This will reflect upon family life, and people around you. Theoretically if everyone got-on this well, the world would be a much better place. Make love not war, is how the saying goes. Hell, if my book ever has this great an influence, I must have sold lots of copies, so I dam well know for sure that Id be one of these happy people. Obviously masturbation feels good but other benefits including stress relieving properties go a long way to alleviating sexual frustration. This will also cool our libido, in so soothing our sexual urges, and calm your appetite when next engaged in intercourse. Affording you more control as your urge to come, will be less likely to gain control over your body. Control is what you will achieve with practice, and this can only aide a relationship, as good sex will only bring two people closer together. As masturbation exercises are associated with bonding couples closer together, how could they be seen as a bad thing? The answer is they can not. It is in fact a healthy practice which can benefit you in so many ways. Which you will reap from, for the rest of your life. Don't live under "others" ideologies, and views, as they are not you and don't share your understanding, life or values.
Solo Control
This exercise is for single men, and men whose partner on occasion cannot assist with your partner related exercises. The exercise takes you step by step through to a sufficient level of control. But to attain exemplary control, you will need to read the other exercises within this book. A good complementary exercise is Breathing For Control which should assist your progress. This exercise is based around masturbation, and as such, gives you a legitimate reason to masturbate. If youre with a partner that knows that youre trying to overcome this problem, she's less likely to mind that youre masturbating, as shell reap the reward. Also as a result of your practising, your libido will diminish, making it naturally easier for you to control, especially if intercourse doesn't happen as often as you would like.
Point of no return
We also need to learn the sensation that allows us to recognise when we are reaching our point of no return, which is a moment before ejaculation. That is basically boarder line between possible recovery and ensuing orgasm. For which stimulating beyond induces orgasm. Its basically a line you cannot see, and once crossed, there is no return and ejaculations inevitable but with practice becomes easy to identify, therefore forming the foundation for control and related exercises. This ability is used in all stimulation exercises relating to P.E. as it conditions you to see exactly how your body reacts. And you know how the saying goes; "You cant stop something that you cant see"
If you do, repeat until your awareness of this pleasure is maintained from start, all the way though orgasm. Repeat again within 3 days, to help carve this awareness in your brain. Once youre sure you've got it move on to the next step.
Arousal Scale
Some will find it easier if they number each arousal level in order. So "0" would be un-aroused and "10" is orgasm. The ascending numbers in-between
represent your various stages of arousal in a chronological order e.g. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9. flaccid 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 orgasm "Nine" represents you on the brink of orgasm while "one" corresponds to you becoming slightly hard, and "five" represents an average level between the two. Nice and simple. The numbering off your arousal from 1-10 may not be necessary for you. If you have sufficiently defined all the sensations of arousal in your own mind. You may even feel that this complicates things, and I don't want to do that. So this is where you have a choice, depending on your ability. Writing in this scale, does however allow me to refer to points of arousal in the various other exercises, and be confident that you know exactly what I'm referring to. So if youre having problems throughout exercises in concentrating on your arousal, this numbered scale system is for you. As learning it will help you further define your arousal level.
Greater Orgasm
You will probably notice after some practice that the sensation of orgasm
increases. This is due to your training. Your body's learning to recondition its-self to ejaculate under a certain degree of control. At this stage you are conditioning your ejaculatory reflex which had previously been left to its own devices, and as a result has probably released your ejaculate when you have not been sufficiently stimulated. Practising holding just below the point of no return, will develop the potency of your arousal and orgasm. This higher sensation will build, leaving you with more to contend with but with more pleasure at a result of it.
Practising
So at first, try and learn to maintain a low arousal level to help with intercourse. As high arousal is more difficult to control. More so, when youre inside your gorgeous lady and she's laying there naked. But practice at a highly aroused level is essential because the sensation involved when youre making love to a woman is a whole lot higher than that generated while masturbating. So practising your solo exercises at closer stimulations levels, to that of making love. This will only serve to boost your chances of lasting longer. This type of practice eventually leads to a control so defined that you can get to within half a stroke of initiating ejaculation. This corresponds to level 9.9 on our arousal scale. Holding at this level for long periods, of say a couple of minutes or more (remember normal orgasm only lasts a few seconds) will have you so aroused, your orgasm will blow all/any previous orgasms out of the water. In the process this will whip that once uncontrollable ejaculatory reflex, right into shape, so your bodys totally tuned for control at the edge. You will probably have to also practice the "PC Clamps" exercise also to achieve this.
Relapses
Relapses, of lack of control are common, when undertaking a variation or different exercise so don't despair. Remember time and practice are the keys to success, and there's always light at the end of the tunnel, so be patient.
And its possible for you to reach and maintain an arousal level of 9.5 for more than a few seconds; youre progressing very well, and should definitely pat yourself on the back. Just remember, because youre succeeding, that this is no time to slacken off. You will still have to practice, practice, practice. Are we clear? Good! Practice will in fact only improve your abilities further and prevent acquired skills from atrophying. Try to maintain at least 2 practice sessions per week, 3 is better and highly recommended.
Advanced control
One last weapon in your arsenal for this exercise. You now have a certain amount of control. But you can lengthen the time it takes you to reach orgasm by adapting what you've just learned. We have only dealt with this so far; the maintaining of certain levels of arousal. Now I want you to learn how to reduce your level of arousal. At any specific point on the arousal scales. So if you get to arousal level 8 I want you to reduce to level 5 and then attempt to build arousal at a slow controlled rate. Use the same tactics as before, slow your hand down etc...
By now you should always be in touch with your arousal rate, and therefore its possible to add other techniques to slow you down. Read through the book, take notes and try some new ideas. I would suggest learning the breathing technique next, as its a perfect compliment to solo control. Below is basically the same exercise as above, youre really just adapting it further.
As you know woman take longer to orgasm on average than men, and longer to arouse. So by stopping to regain control during intercourse, its not only your arousal that will decrease, but also hers, to a similar extent. This is depicted in the graph below. Which shows arousal levels of a couple engaged in intercourse together. The descending line shows arousal falling when you stop stimulation to regain control by attempting to lower your arousal level.
You can see the highest of the 4 black peaks represents you reaching orgasm. Immediately after orgasm your arousal falls to zero. Your lover never reached orgasm because you didnt stimulate her for long enough. But as you can see her arousal follows yours. By no means is this an accurate graph of a man and woman's arousal during literal 'stopping and starting' in effort to last longer, as in this exercise. Its just here to illustrate a point.
Which is, how do you stimulate her to orgasm if youre always at a higher level of stimulation than her? (Look at the above graph) As you can see, this method of lowering arousal may commence all day long. (if you keep stopping) But you'll still not stimulate your lover to orgasm, through intercourse. Her arousal will always be higher then yours and you will always come before her.
The black line represents your arousal rising and falling in line with hers which is represented by the red line. As you can see from the graph. By keeping your lover mildly stimulated while you use a technique that minimally stimulates yourself, you can still lower your arousal while ensuring your lovers level of arousal stays as high as possible. Your arousal rises and falls, but hers doesnt fall as much as yours with the implementation of this new technique. The dotted black line under the red line is your option to stimulate your self to culminate in unison when she does. For a truly climactic experience. You use this technique intermittently between normal thrusting/love-making when ever you need to lower your arousal. This also adds variation to your love life. Thats seen on the above graph as the falling arousal lines. The ascending lines depict normal thrusting.
I would advise as always starting to practice from a low arousal level at first then builds up, as it will become progressively harder at higher arousal levels. At first it may be necessary to stop and start until youre used to practising. The end result is great control at maintaining and lowering arousal, when you need to.
So you may find everything works well in practice, and you can last as long as you like without a partner. But when it comes to it, you find she's a complete sensation over-load. Which renders any control methods you attempt, totally ineffectual.
Performance Pressure
The chapter Solo Control teaches a similar stop-start exercise to the one in this chapter, only done without a partner. The bonus of performing this exercise on your own, is that your relieved from the pressure of performance, and don't feel pressured to concentrate on satisfying your lover. This distracts you from concentration on your arousal. I would advise using the solo exercise until you have noticed your ability rise, and therefore extended the time youre able to please yourself. Which perpetuates awareness of your arousal level and consequently has the same effect on your point of no return, (the point to which you can stimulate upto safely but stimulating beyond will induce ejaculation) improving your chances of success.
Preparing to begin
Conditions are similar to the solo exercise, so set aside the same hour for your exercises. Make sure youre both relaxed and will be undisturbed. To begin with, kiss and caress your partner, and show her your appreciation
by projecting a loving and caring attitude towards her. This will pay you a bounty of dividends, in the long run as well as the immediate future. Make sure you don't get too carried away though, don't touch her breasts or her pubic mound, and don't rub your genitals up against her, as you could get carried away or over stimulated. Remember, this is an exercise, so you both have to stay focussed. Anything that tips you over the edge should be avoided. Talk your partner through the exercise before hand, and let her know how it benefits both of you. Its best if she knows why its beneficial to your relationship. As she'll become more keen to help.
Lets Begin
To begin the exercise, lie on your back naked, and place your hands by your side. Your partner should sit below your waist out of reach of your hands, as you don't want too many distractions at this time, because your lust might take over tempting you to reach out and grab your lover. This will probably overload your senses, and ruin your control at this stage. Your partner should be fully clothed, and only be stimulating your penis. Not lying on you or holding your hand etc... This is very important at this first stage of endeavour. Because too much sensation will distract and likely trigger an uncontrollable situation leading to a loss of awareness over your arousal rate as you'll have overloaded yourself with pleasure. Slowly adding different layers of sensation will minimise a pleasure-overload that induces loss of control. So start this exercise as directed, by reducing sensation to a minimum. Therefore even closing your eyes is advisable at first, and don't touch yourself, keep completely still and let your partner do all the work. She should begin by rubbing your dry (no lube at this time) shaft slowly up
and down. If she's never done this before, fill her in on exactly what to do e.g. pressure, stroke feel, if she's treating your penis like a "tug of war" competition and literally trying to "pull you off", she wont do anything for you, and render the exercise useless. Try a session with your girl where you exchange exactly what each other desires and enjoys, in order to discover what satisfies each other. You should also have read and tried the exercise earlier within this book, which provokes learning each others sexual turn-ons and turn-offs.
Point of no return?
For those of you who haven't read Solo Control the point of no return is the defining point in arousal which if stimulation continues beyond this point, orgasm becomes inevitable without further stimulation. If your arousal level is knocking at the door of your point of no return, and stimulation is ceased, ejaculation will not happen. But go through that door and
its a whole different story. Going past this point has the effect of lighting a short fuse, and theres nothing to do but wait for the inevitable bang. Basically your body goes into an automatic state, that starts gathering up semen and seminal fluid, and fires them out together using your internal muscles, creating the twitching/pumping that you feel at the point of ejaculation, and for a few seconds afterwards.
Learning Control
When you've got it, repeat the exercise with her. But instead of just noting your 'point of no return' as its reached, I want you to progress up towards it slowly. When near orgasm "stop" stimulation until your arousal has dropped to a comfortable level. Build your arousal up to level 6/7 then tell her to stop stimulation, to cool off, until arousal lowers to level 3/4. Continue stimulation now until level 7/8
has been reached, then stop stimulation again until at least a wane in arousal of 3 levels to 5/6 has occurred. Now repeat but go up to level 8/9 and cool back down to level 6/7, cool further if you feel it benefits you greater. Just stopping stimulation doesn't sound much like gaining control. But it in fact reconditions your ejaculatory reflex, so its back under your control. Making it easier to last. Once you have built up this awareness, I will tell you how to use it for even greater control. Next time try and bring your arousal up-to, as close to the 'point of no return' as you can, without falling over the edge into the post ejaculatory come down. You probably wont be able to do this first off. But don't worry that's normal. If you do find youre loosing it, relax, sit back and enjoy that orgasm. Sex is meant to be a pleasurable and fun experience. If you find you can balance on the brink of ejaculatory inevitability, you've reached a certain stage of control. If at this level of control, attempt again to reduce arousal 2 or so levels, for good measure, for even higher control. Now let your lady stimulate you through your point of no return into orgasm, and just sit back and enjoy it. Remember that practice is the key to success, so keep it up at least 2 times per week.
Varying Techniques
Varying techniques, as long as you understand what each part of the process delivers, is not a problem. The following variation, I feel is particularly worth the extra endeavour. Instead of coming straight away at the end of the above exercise. Allow your lady to bring you up to near the P.O.N.R. (point of no return) and try and hold yourself as close to the P.O.N.R. as possible, for as long as possible, to really define your control. You may find this is only possible if you have practiced other exercises within this book especially the PC clamp. For which when lightly applied at this point will stop the onset of seminal fluid flow, (ejaculation) which you can clearly feel, if treading on the door step of ejaculation.
A harder clamp of this muscle will probably have the opposite effect, as it has arousing properties, so keep that clamp mild.
Essential Rapport
In this exercises, your woman's in full control of your stimulation. This is why its essential for you to have good rapport and understanding so she will do exactly what you tell her. She must understand that doing exactly what you say is paramount to achieving control. Also it is paramount that you don't seem as if youre barking orders at her. So be nice before, throughout and after the exercise. You don't want to put her off helping you.
This as you know can easily knock your confidence and faith in yourself, and will set back your progress.
Benefits Of Lubrication
When youre able to complete this exercise try adding lubricant. Water based lubes from sex shops are a good bet, as that's what their designed for. Buy online for anonymity, and cheaper deals. Your lady should apply it to you. Don't be surprised if you now find you start failing to last. Lubricants will up the difficulty, giving you a supremely higher level of stimulation to cope with. If you haven't, repeat the exercise with your eyes open and your girl friend naked, and see if you can still concentrate. Take it one stage at a time, slowly adding sensation. If everything is going well and you've successfully attained competence in the above exercises, please continue with the following.
The above metaphors defines my way of teaching this exercise in overcoming P.E, 'Small Steps' which directly relates to this mid point exercise which involve slow progression. These, as all steps, will gradually add sensations, building up to eventual intercourse as then you will be capable of confronting it.
Preparation
As before ensure youre in a warm environment, with at least one hour set aside that's not too late, so youre not too tired etc.. I've said all this before. Caress each others naked body. Ensure your penis doesn't rub against her body, as your arousal will sky rocket, and you don't want that, control remember, not lustful desire, (if its going to go wrong its going to start here) so keep your cool. Let your lady straddle you, while youre lying on your back, on the bed. Don't grab her breasts/bum etc, again remember "control". If she feels discomfort in her knees or legs, place a pillow under your bum and back to raise you off the bed so she's not supporting her self entirely on her knees. For success, her comfort is paramount.
You are not attempting penetration but instead starting a controlled relationship between you and your partners genitals.
Lets Start
Your penis will hopefully be erect. She then needs to lubricate you using a water based lube approved for sexual use, as unorthodox lubricants can cause irritation and infection to the vagina, which is sensitive by nature, even to different soaps. Then she positions her-self so her genitals are in contact with your penis, so her vulva is spread open and her labial lips are either side of your penis. This provides you with a sensation close to being inside her vagina but without inducing stimulation over the complete penis, which can become an engulfing sensational overload. She should now slide up and down your penis as in the diagrams below. (The bonus of a lube is apparent here, so go get some)
Her vaginal lips will move up and down over the penis, offering sensation to only one side of your penis, and most importantly, only intermittent sensation to the head of the penis, and again only to one side. (As you can see no jumping up and down is required by her, just a role of her hips, that insures she stays in constant contact with your penis.) Your heads the hot spot that with constant sensation will tip you over the edge.
No stimulation, no orgasm!
You can control how fast your partner slides up and down on your shaft, and also control how much sensation she delivers to the head of your penis. This is achieved by holding her hips and using them to guide her back and forth. You then have the ability to increase or decrease sensation, dependent on how stimulated you are, and the level of your control. Therefore you can slowly increase sensation until youre near to a level comparable to intercourse. You will love this exercise, you get the feel of your woman without the constant sensation of intercourse, that youre not likely ready for. This allows you to learn control and deal with any other issues that might tip you over the edge, like her naked body, the feel of her breasts, don't touch them just yet.
Wait until your proficiently mastering control in this position, before you add other stimuli. If youre constantly over whelmed by a flood of sensation, implement tactics to counter this e.g. If its the sight of her naked that pushes you over the edge, turn off the lights, or divert your eyes. But better than this, use other techniques in this book, so you can see how they work. This is much easier in this controlled environment.
Practising
As before build sensation then pull back, as in the first stage of this exercise e.g. Level 5/6 then back 3 levels of arousal etc... Keep with this systematic approach and you'll increase your chances of success ten fold.
Precautions
Essentially this exercise is the same as the last but instead of using her hand, she will be using her vulva, and a lubricant. (Essential) If your lady's not using the pill or either one of your sexual histories are unknown, take precautionary measures, as your ejaculate, and even pre-come can cause insemination and ensuing pregnancy. As well as pass on other sexually transmitted diseases, if you have them. Even if you do know each others sexual histories and are using other contraceptives, using a condom will help during your first few sessions as it offers slight de-sensitizing properties, making the whole experience easier on you, remember, Small Steps. It may be necessary for you to start your exercises from stage 1. Where you just come and enjoy it, and only concentrate on your P.O.N.R, and all other sensation levels along the way, just to give you a better understanding of how this different sensation affects you.
Personally I would always advise starting any next stage/adaptation of this exercise from this stage. Its relatively easy to progress through all the stages quite quick, and will help yourself esteem, and re-assert your control, so don't get cocky and go for gold too soon. Now stage ones over, try Stage 2 where you build yourself up to level 5/6. Try and lose some arousal using the simple 'stop' technique. Then repeat for level 6/7, 7/8, and 8/9 concurrently, all the same as before, then finally build yourself-up to orgasm and enjoy it Or Practise holding yourself as close to the P.O.N.R. for as long as possible which gives you great awareness and defines your P.O.N.R, giving you greater control at the edge. Mentioned previously is the fact that this may require the use of other exercises within this book, (breathing/PC clamps) to help you at the edge. As before if de-stimulating yourself becomes easy at level 6-8 and only level 9+ becomes a problem it is worth focusing more on this arousal level, so start at level 8/9 instead of 5/6 until mastered, then go back to starting at 5/6, so youre more able to reduce stimulation at any level. How long should you practice for? Its up to you but try and engage in intercourse (this does not include foreplay) for over 15 minutes in each session. (30+ is preferable) This is the minimum time needed to implement a reasonable degree of control, and help you start learning.
Stroking Down
You may have, until now, adopted only one method of reducing sensation during this exercise, and that was to cease, effectively just stop all movement.
This is effective when learning the basics of control but in order to satisfy your lover you'll have to learn that when you stop sensation altogether, youre also stopping her sensation. So her excitement never builds above your own. This is why you will find it exceptionally difficult, not to come before her, no matter how long you have learned to last. Please read the definition of Stroking Down in the chapter Solo Control if youre unclear of the current explanation. I have many techniques in this book to help over-come this problem. Stroking down is a basic technique that allows you to keep stimulating your lover while reducing your sensation. The basics of this are very easy to grasp. If you move/thrust too fast you will probably come. So slowing down, is in order but don't stop stimulating your lover. Maintain a low level of arousal by completely slowing your movement, when arousal starts to climb. Then when you feel its under control move back to normal thrusting. Then repeat when necessary. This sounds an obvious and un-enthralling technique but when combined with different thrusting techniques (explained later in the book), and the breathing exercises, they become highly effective. This is not rocket science, all the techniques in this book are exceedingly basic but because of this are easy to learn and apply. If they were too complicated it would be virtually impossible to implement them during sex This is why they work. One of the reasons this technique works is because your lover does not want her arousal to drop but you do with yours. So this is where you gain time and she loses it.
combined with stroking down. In fact many of the cures in this book can easily be combined, for great control. Please remember that Solo Control and Practice With A Lover are foundation exercises. Solo Control also has insight on improving on 'Stroking Down', so please read that also.
Precautions
Good communication is the aim of the game when youre instructing her how to stimulate you. Especially on new areas of the exercise that may present problems for you e.g. the sight of her breast bouncing; her panting; or while touching her etc... A good precaution when first trying a new stage of the exercise is to build sensation slowly. Like this; try at first shutting, then next time opening your eyes. If successful, next time add some physical touching. One way of controlling your ladys effect on your sensation that allows you to adjust the level of stimulation you receive, that's already been mentioned, is to hold her waist or hips, this will allow you to guide her thrusting/gliding over your penis. This method can be introduced into intercourse as a way of maintaining communication between the two of you. This communication can easily replace the verbal shouts of "stop", "start", "slow down" or "wait" etc... That intrudes on the mood. Stop is replaced by you holding her still, and Start, by effectively applying pressure on her hips that give her subtle indications to move. You should not be pulling her around. One more thing about this exercise. It might not be you that has to worry so much about loosing control. Because your lady is sliding her highly sensitive and aroused moist labia and citreous up and down your shaft. This has benefits as well as draw backs. First being, she might lose control, which will render the exercise in vain but there is the feel good factor of success, as this would have normally happened to you.
The main benefit here is your lover is more likely to enjoy this exercise, which is paramount. Therefore she will be more willing to assist you, or is that assist her-self??? It might therefore be worth mentioning before she's agreed to helping you with this exercise, that this exercise is likely to stimulate her as much as you. Which will help persuade her to participate. After the exercise, when youre done, if she's still aroused, which is more than likely, you have the perfect opportunity to stimulate her to orgasm orally, or however she desires. I would take advantage of this, as next time she'll be more eager to help you, as her sex life will be on the up.
Extra Exercise
Now that you've read stroking down. You are more equipped to try this variation of the above exercises. Instead of trying to just reduce sensation, it now becomes easier to hold current arousal levels. So practice ascending arousal while trying to hold every arousal level for 1 or 2+ minutes. This will help you further maintain arousal without it climbing during sex.
Penetration
Youre now on the final exercise derived from this basic "start stop" method. If you've got this far, then youre doing just great. This effectively involves the main event, penetration. Some of you will be quite anxious and nervous with some slight apprehension but this is what you have been working for. You have systematically gone through all of the other steps needed to get you to this level, and like exercises before, this is no different. This exercise like all the rest continues the tradition of small steps. So digressing back to my earlier example, regarding getting to the top of a cliff through using the steps rather than climbing the vertical face. You have to
regard this exercise as the last few steps, and not another cliff to conquer. In fact it could not be easier if you have done your home work.
Straight to it
So then, straight to it. Set aside an hour, and maintain a good environment for sex, warm cosy, clean, quiet, peaceful etc... Turn each other on, get naked but remember not to rub your penis up against her and become overly confident and aroused. We're trying to permanently install a level of control remember. Lie on your back, as usual, eyes shut and hands by sides or under your bum, as this may help lift you slightly, and take the pressure off her knees as she's on top again. Or simply use a pillow. If she has no problem, don't worry about it and just get on with it. Use a condom at first, as they are known to reduce sensation, thicker the better. Normally the variety of condom advertised as the safest, will be the thickest, and therefore offer the most reduction in sensation. When you've got the hang of this exercise and you know each others sexual history, and other birth control measures are in place, you can if you desire, dispense with their use. Some women dont want to use the pill or other methods of birth control, as they can play havoc with their body, so don't push them. Your lady should now slide upon you (to prevent soreness and ease penetration use a lubricant) in a straddled fashion; all sounds very familiar doesn't it. Now she should place your penis so its head is just touching her labia at the vaginal entrance. She should not move your penis any further and hold that position.
This precautions here because many P.E. sufferers find entering the vagina is over-whelming, and lose control, coming immediately. This is another reason
for small steps. The less knock backs to your confidence the better. Because confidence in your ability will help hasten results. So take this one step at a time. Go from just touching, and then move inwards at half inch increments. Keep eye contact with your partner while you do this, as you don't want her moving down on you until youre ready to proceed. Make sure you informed your partner exactly what she has to do before hand, and every time she lowers further, make sure she knows youre ready. If during any part of this exercise you feel youre loosing control withdraw and try again from the beginning, and if need be add more steps and take it slower than before. She must not squeeze your penis with her vagina, until you have learned to control yourself inside her, as this is exceptionally stimulating. I'm not going to bore you by repeating the same steps again, as I don't think any-ones brain can take it. You know the drill, just make sure you stick to it, and most importantly, enjoy the experience. If you know youre going to come, don't beat yourself up over it. Put it down to experience, and enjoy the ride. After all sex is supposed to be fun, so don't take it too seriously.
Multi Orgasm
Multi-orgasm by its very nature sounds exhausting doesn't it? Thats probably because of the multi bit in its title. For most of us 'once' is more than enough, so why bother trying to out-do our selves? There's always the worry that we might even cause our selves a hernia if we over do-it. Well the answer lies within the following pages. So satisfy your curiosity and read on and see if its for you. Effort it might be but in my opinion well worth the endeavour. This section follows directly on from the chapters involving the start-stop exercises (Solo Control and Practice With A Lover) and the chapter entitled PC Clamps. Intimate knowledge of the exercises in these chapters, including full grasp and competent level of ability, are essential in assessing and understanding this section, plus I don't want to repeat my self.
Its as if someone turned off a switch, labelled lust, craving and desire, and at the same time turned on a switch called sleep or 'do something else'. After this release I often wondered what this was all about, as I was engorged in only a few seconds of orgasmic pleasure, followed by a sharp drop-off, in arousal known as the 'come down'. Also a disinterest in female contact ensued. All in all making sex seem like self-hype... Meaning you want it, oh boy do you want it, and when it comes, orgasm doesn't live up to your aspirations, even though the desire for a re-enactment is never out of mind.
I'm hopefully going to explain the experience better, and enlighten you how to achieve this aberrant state of arousal. For which you will soon understand the benefits. Thankfully some of the info I read opened my mind to the possibility that I could have more, much more, and from learning exemplary control of my arousal, I learned the indefinite pleasures of whole body orgasm (multi orgasm) which finally, after diligent effort was successfully attained. When first reading about this thing called 'multi orgasm'. I think I was a teen at the time. I must confess that what I read was written in a way that wasn't forth coming with information that I could easily understand. What I read seemed to be describing some spiritual occurrence that involved some internal transfer of energy using your mind to focus the energy that circulates through your body. All seemed a bit hocus-pocus to me, and didn't make much sense, so I never pursued it. And I'm sure some of you feel the same, if you don't understand something how can you pursue it? Its impossible but now I understand the process; I will try to describe it in layman's terms, so even I can understand it.
My Experience
My only experience at the time of anything similar to multi orgasm was, that I, on occasion (with my partner at the time) reached orgasm, and didn't fall prey to hyper sensation (which is when it seems uncomfortable or painful to continue thrusting immediately after ejaculation, that also makes you go floppy) which allowed me to carry on thrusting, and again reach ejaculation. But this was my only experience of multi orgasm, and only seemed possible, when experiencing unsatisfying (low on arousal) orgasms. Because with this type of orgasm, hyper-sensation didn't really set in, anywhere as much as when sex was really good. (Full of arousal) Most of you are not just learning orgasmic control to please your partner but to satisfy yourself, whether or not this because of a complex or personal mission you feel will stand you in good stead for the future.
You may find sometimes during sex when intense pleasure just started to reveal its head, ejaculation would instantaneously turn our rising orgasmic bliss, into a post-ejaculatory come down, which brings about certain distaste for your bodys innate/natural unsatisfactory ability, as you know there's got to be more to come. Orgasm is something to be cherished, and today we understand that different levels of orgasm are felt from one day to another, and person to person. If you've read through, and tried the exercises within this book (especially stop start), you may already have experienced a new found level of orgasmic bliss, which lasts for as long as you require. But the ability to build on this sensation and to experience a long whole body orgasm ensures any normal orgasm seems, some what diluted and unfulfilling in comparison. Which will aide your persistence in maintaining your ability to 'control', as exercises from previous chapters, used to propagate 'control' essentially open the door to 'whole body orgasm'. In fewer words, multi orgasm continues on from previous 'control' methods, and that's why its in this book. This may seem a step too far for some of you, as it takes time to learn ejaculatory control. But once a level of control has been reached, through self pleasing and partnered exercises, learning to become multi orgasmic isn't that much of a feat, and is in fact a natural progression.
Next up is the same as the first but induced instead by the PC clamp, or applying pressure to the PG point (both described in this book) where you have greater ability to avoid hyper-sensation, and are more likely of continuing thrusting if you desire, or if your partner is still in need of satisfying. (Again refer to the above diagram) A well defined PC-muscle is essential in completion of this exercise. This ability can also be used to prevent you ejaculating in your partners mouth if she's giving you head. So if she doesn't like to because of your flavour, youre both in for a treat. The third is a different sensation. One which takes a bit of explaining. This is a whole different type of orgasm. It feels like a sort of warm tingly glow that defies words, and overwhelms you with intense rapturous pleasure. The sensation rises from your genitals, while slowly and progressively moving upwards, eventually consuming every inch of your body, including your mind, even reaching such extremities as your finger tips, as its all consuming.
The following similarly describes the way in which this pleasure presents its self.
Its as if the tide is coming in on the beach, (which is akin to your arousal) and with every wave, (waves of orgasm) some more of the beach is covered,
and just when this wave is starting to retreat, back towards the sea, another wave scoops it up and advances further towards the shore, building your arousal even higher. When practising this please note, the first waves wont seem that intense, as its only touching the first few pebbles (on your beach) of your arousal but give it time, and you'll see that whole body orgasm will not just bring in the tide but flood your beach with pleasure. The best bit is, you can achieve this, as it's a natural progression from the start stop techniques. (Taught in Solo Control & Practice With A Lover) This can be learned on your own or as a tandem effort. The diagram below gives a better idea of how the sensation builds compared to the other multi orgasm descriptions above.
You can see from the diagram that this sensation provides far greater sensation than regular orgasm, or my previous descriptions of multi-orgasm. The lower dotted line depicts normal orgasmic pattern. As you can see from the diagram, there is no harsh come down areas with multi orgasm. Arousal is
also further heightened until you decide to ejaculate, or stop. I personally like to describe this type of orgasm as 'whole body orgasm' as 'multi orgasm' doesn't do it justice, because multi orgasm can be classified different ways as previously stated. Look at the diagram, and notice, youre not trying to maintain low arousal. Which is a control technique described in previous chapters but instead opposing this by maintaining extremely high arousal, without ejaculating. This is learned through a basic progression form a proficiency in the exercise known as 'stopstart', and PC Clamps.
Remember that ejaculation is the killer of arousal, as once ejaculation has occurred, hyper sensation sets in and all arousal is lost, then youre forced into a come down, after a short orgasm. This new skill is the ability to control, so how long you last, is your choice, and not pre determined. Last one minute or go on for hours. Now that's a range of ability worth having.
Great Sex
Remember the best sex you ever had. Earth shattering wasn't it. The pinnacle of this experience was the sensation of orgasm during ejaculation. Orgasm is effectively the spike in arousal, and gives off most pleasure but as all ready stated, your ejaculation ended the sensation. This does not happen with multi orgasm. Whole body orgasm builds differently from ejaculatory orgasm and doesn't have the explosion of regular orgasm but eternally builds. Like a fire that keeps getting hotter and hotter. After the engorgement of orgasmic pleasure youre still able to finish with ejaculation if you so desire. Its totally your choice... ...But with a well developed PC muscle and using it to clamp the prostate urethra and ejaculatory ducts, which prevents ejaculation in the same way as the Gold Coin Technique. You will then be able to experience the explosion of orgasm, as the finishing touch without ejaculating. This retention is said by Taoists to have positive effects on your body, and feels totally contrary to the normal come down.
Give It A Go
Its refraining from ejaculating, (which is so tempting) that requires some will power, to summon the sensation of multi-orgasm into being. Keeping arousal as high as possible is the only way to discover multi-orgasm, and while learning, its really easy to topple over the edge into ejaculation.
When practising, and you notice youre on the edge of your point of no return, stop sensation, till you feel your arousal falling but not too much, as its by being continually highly aroused, that gets results. So you have to stay on the verge of ejaculation. Whenever you feel your penis twitching, you must stop sensation at once as that is your prostate and pc muscle starting to pump. Which mixes your sperm with the bulk of your ejaculate, which is mainly the fluid from the seminal vesicle, which resides next to your prostate. The fluid is being prepared to be pumped out of your body. To put an end to, or to prevent before hand, this pulsating, its best to lightly clench your pc muscles while ceasing sensation, (stop humping) but this has to be done without delay. This has the effect of blocking the path of these fluids and clamps the prostate, which calms it from pumping. Also by using the pc muscle youre overriding its natural twitching (pumping) rhythm, and are further ensuring you will not ejaculate. This takes a bit of practice to master.
You can always ejaculate after you have finished your marathon of eternal pleasure if you choose to, and at that level of arousal, it will simply blow you away. But what happens to your ejaculate, when you with-hold it at orgasm? Why doesn't it come out? Well, its held back by your pc muscle, and prevented from escaping. Depending on your control level, and your body in general, you may prevent your semen from never leaving you testicles. On the other hand, semen is urged by your natural bodily process, to leave the testicles ready to mix with the rest of the ejaculate. Which is the fluid from the seminal vesicle that forms most of ejaculate. With the pc clamped, there is no where for the semen to go. So it is effectively trapped in your internal pluming, and reabsorbed by the body. Leaving your body in better stead, as you havent lost these nutrients (ejaculate) that puts you into a state of seminal fluid regeneration, which creates the come down.
Something Strange
Sometimes after retaining your semen you will notice lumps in your urine. This is because you didn't clamp the pc muscle early enough, and semen was allowed to leave the scrotum, and had no where to go apart forcing its way up into the bladder. This is in no way harmful to your body, and just means you should utilise your 'PC clamp' slightly earlier during intercourse, as you invariably applied the clamp too late. All that happened was you then urinated the seminal fluids out when you next excreted. Vasectomised men still ejaculate with multi orgasm This is because their plumbing is chopped at the testicles, and semen only makes up a small part of the ejaculate, which is then wholly provided by the seminal vesicle, next to your prostate. When a vasectomised man ejaculates, his semens reabsorbed by his testicles, as they have no way of leaving his body. This absorption happens in exactly the same way as with whole body orgasm retention. If there were complications, the medical world would of outlawed vasectomies
by now. Taoists have been practising multi orgasm for thousands of years, need I say more. The only complication with retaining semen in the testes is your balls can seem some what congested, and ache. This requires a personal massage to alleviate this symptom, nothing more, nothing less. This symptom is commonly named 'blue balls'. In the unlikely chance that you encounter this you will be relieved to know that, your body will adapt quickly to semen retention, and it normally wont become a common occurrence.
Take It Slow
Whole body orgasm is a slower process than regular orgasm. It starts slower, builds slower, requires slower movements (thrusting) to master, and of course provides a slower release of orgasmic pleasure. If you experience problems mastering this, please remember this is a slow process, and to take is slow. Try holding yourself within one thrust/stroke of ejaculating. When the urge to ejaculate just (and I mean just, too long a pause will lose you too much arousal) starts subsiding, build up sensation to within one thrust/stroke of ejaculation again. Remember to use other delay methods, PC clamps etc, to stop ejaculation. Continually repeating this (staying within 1 stroke off ejaculation) should bring on the sensation youre looking for. It will take time, so don't worry, and you will (along the way) inevitably trip-up, into ejaculation at-least some of the time. But when you get it right, the rewards are well worth all the hassle.
The diagram above depicts a set of ever increasing orgasms that you have control over. You have the choice of lasting as long as you like. How does five minutes of orgasm sound, that saturates you with even more continually building pleasure, with every passing wave? So much better than 10 seconds of unsatisfying its over before its begun, type orgasms. The ascending dotted line in the diagram represents your ability to continue to lift the level of multi orgasm.
Which draw in depth on our bodies resources, Taoists believed that our bodies ejaculate their best energy and bodily nutrients into the womb to help create a new life, every time we ejaculate. Then we enter this state of regeneration to replenish these millions of ejaculated sperm and seminal fluid. This is why so many men feel tired and uninterested in caressing their lady after the event. Which is contrary to female desires, as they do not go through the same process. For this reason football coaches don't allow their players to engage with their partners, the day before the 'Big Game' for they know how energy sapping ejaculation can be.
solid as the shaft. Your penis (to your lady) wont feel at all spongy and due to the extra swelling may seem like a whole new knob. Thicker, harder, stronger, and due to the penises natural curve (this varies) towards your body in this state, has more chance of stimulating her G-Spot if you make love facing each other but that isn't to say that it wont have the same effect while enjoying sex from behind. My experience has shown that there doesn't seem to be a position that women don't enjoy more than normal, while in this state. But be careful when deep thrusting as you'll penetrate further than normal and you don't want to cause her any discomfort.
It is possible for her to stimulate herself while lying on her back, in the missionary position but it will help if she has some pillows under her bum, to angle her clit up so she can gain more access to it. So the options there. This will help stop her from wiggling on your dick to induce her orgasm, why you attempt to maintain this high degree of arousal, needed to learn multi orgasm. Don't forget you are trying to maintain being right on the edge of orgasm. It is literally one more thrust and you've come, and the best way to learn.
Practising Time
The amount of time spent practising multi orgasm is up to you, whether this be on your own or with your partners interaction. I do not believe that more than twice per week, when attempting to grasp, and once per week when mastered is needed to learn and maintain this great form of control are needed but this is subjective, and you will discover how much practice you need.
deposits of semen can still be easily transferred over to your partner and youre then subjected to potential sexual deceases. This is also the case with the idea that removing your penis before ejaculation provides effective contraception. Which is complete fable. Your penis self lubricates its-self, by ejecting seminal fluid long before you ejaculate, and semen can be present in this pre-come, as its known, even though no ejaculation has taken place and arousal may be low. There is in fact no safe time when you can enter a woman without a contraceptive and ensure insemination is effectively prevented. Personally I think the reason semen escape in the pre-come, is their trying to gain an advantage in a potential lead over their 249,999,999 rivals. Sneaky but cunning. (Joking)
to. While youre trying to stimulate yourself to ejaculatory orgasm. This normally occurs when youre heightening sensation slowly, while on the verge of orgasm. This is a sign of good progress, and another way of achieving multi orgasm. The reason this happens is because youre training your body to separate orgasm and ejaculation. And your body becomes accustom to reacting this way. Which shows you that you have really whipped that ejaculatory reflex into shape. That before would let you down at the earliest opportunity. This will never prevent you ejaculating normally so don't worry
PC Muscle Description
The PC muscle is in fact a group of muscles which cradles the lower abdomen, and encircle the urethra, anus, prostate, seminal vesicle, etc... It looks like a hammock (running between your legs) in shape, with each end connected to a bone. One bone at your front and the other at your rear. The front ones called the pubic bone (which is the bone under your pubic hairy mound, immediately above where your penis joins your body) and the rears called the tail bone, (coccyx) which is at the base of the spine. When contracting the PC muscle you'll feel your anus tighten and lift, and when erect, its also responsible for the twitches felt at orgasm, and also while trying to squeeze the last few drops of urine out of your bladder, or while stopping flow during urination. The PC can be clenched almost in two stages, (you will see what I mean by almost when you try it) or in full. With just your anus pulling in, or more frontal, which lifts your sexual organs, and is the same part of the muscle that twitches your dick. A full clench (front and back) endures both your anus and sexual orgasms lift simultaneously. These clenches produce a lifting/squeezing pulling-in towards the body, type of sensation. If you haven't done so before attempt a squeeze of the whole muscle group to get the feel for it. Don't clench your arse or your abdominal muscles. The easiest way to find it is while urinating and by stopping flow mid stream. You should be able to stop flow 3 or 4 times in one session. This should give you the grasp needed to avoid confusion with the following exercise.
Opposite To A PC Clench
Actually you are performing the opposite of a PC clench. A PC clench pulls your anus and genitals upwards, or upwards towards the centre of your body, towards your intestine/stomach. But Push Outs, as its name implies, oppose this action. In so, pushing your lower tract out. This has the effect of relaxing your PC muscle, which has been proclaimed the sex muscle. Because the PC muscle helps you induce arousal. It helps you become turned-on. Push Outs relieve you of the PC's effect, whenever you want to reduce arousal. This puts arousal control at your finger tips. Nice!
So after going through that confusing intro, I'll go introduce you to...
In order to find out what works best for you, try equalising front and rear pressure. The main reason I've come to apply more frontal pressure is because equal rear pressure feels uncomfortable as it applies pressure to your anus, like when you need to defecate, so for this reason before attempting, empty your colon if need be for the sake of comfort. This exercise will also work especially well if you empty your bladder as pressure is applied to it. But when erect you wont be able to urinate, so don't worry as the urinary tract is blocked by your erection but then again, nothings impossible. A full bladder also has the effect of inducing higher levels of arousal so there is another reason to empty it. Bladder pressure is a sure sign that youre pushing on the correct muscle. Your lower abdominal muscles will tighten when you attempt this exercise.
Unlike PC exercises, the muscles used for this exercise are normally fit enough for the job, as you use them for urination and defecation, among other things but you may just need some honing to perfect this technique, so I'm not going to suggest a exercise regime. I don't think you'll ever need it. This does however mean that this is a quick exercise to learn, which requires very little practice. So now we know what to do, its time to...
If you find you suffer from gas release, adapt the technique so you only Push-Out during the withdraw stage of your thrust, and repeat the push on every withdrawal until you come to an acceptable arousal level. Using long deep or other slow thrusting techniques will allow you to apply the push for longer, which is when it has most effect. If you find you've applied this technique for too long and you start to go limp, use PC clamps on your in-stroke as they push blood into the penis and help heighten arousal. This exercise reduces arousal by relaxing and tiring the muscles which control ejaculation, which includes your PC muscle. Because this exercise tires the PC, strengthening your PC as in other exercises will slightly counter this control method but it should still work. This is only a precaution, and not a real concern. I use Push-Outs and still find them just as effective as when I first discovered them, and I also practice lots of PC clamps.
A Lack Of Libido
Other complaints your lady may have can range from not having the libido to want sex three times per week; however you try to persuade her. Also some ladies don't enjoy oral sex, which removes one of your potential bribes/attributes/qualities/skills. This may be because their self-conscious or they only enjoy penetrative sex etc... If you feel that this is an issue, talk to them. It may be because an ex-lover was too harsh, causing her discomfort, that she's reluctant. Ask her exactly what's off-putting about it. Also look for info on technique, you may find some helpful hints in such info that encourages ladies to try cunnilingus. Some times you cant do anything but accept the fact that you will not receive full co-operation. Which slightly leaves you up the creek without a paddle Leaving you no way of practising coping with all the extra stimuli that a woman will presents thats above and beyond the sensation you can achieve in solo masturbation exercises.
This is a problem...
Because some will find that solo practice to penetrative sex, is a sensation leap too far. Look at it this way; since when did looking at your hand ever give you a hard on, didn't think so but a babe at a hundred paces on the other side of the street could arouse a flag pole in your pants worthy of saluting but naked and on you, and she'll blow your mind but at the same time ruin any elusions of ejaculation control. Self stimulation exercises (Solo Control) have the ability to repel any angst directed at a unwilling partner, as it releases sexual tension in so calming your libido, and it's well worth prescribing in this situations where your lovers not interested or hasn't the time to help with your partner participating exercises. This form of stimulation can be heightened so it provides a more realistic level self sensation to practice with. That can be made to mimic further the sensation created with your lady. So you can then have control with her, as arousal will no longer spiral out of control.
Logical Progression
Once you have learned to recognise your point of no return, the start stop exercise is a logical progression, (taught in Practice With A Lover and Solo Control) and can be great fun to partake. But unfortunately even the most determined and diligent of people can become bored and uninterested in repeating this exercise three times per week, leaving you sexually uninspired. This isn't meant to be a chore. I know a lot can ride on the result, confidence and the ability to satisfy being just two things. Its very difficult to maintain something youre not interested in, and youre hardly likely to be in the right frame of mind, let alone get hard, if you have little enthusiasm, and it becomes another task added to a list of unwelcome endeavours to endure in daily life. If you can reflect on any of the above scenarios you have to do something to create the environment in which your exercise will benefit you, by alleviating these problems. I have read info on P.E. that suggests that you shouldnt use any extra forms of stimulation during solo exercises, as they will encourage your mind to wander leaving you subordinate to your old habits. I however disagree... ...I can see that on the initial stages of gaining moderate control, full concentration should be on the exercise at hand. But on developing consistent and further prolonged effect, there is often extra stimulation required. This is also to the benefit of the participant, as it requires his mind to concentrate on learning to complete the exercise with extra visual and physical stimulation, which is exactly what you would need to achieve to overcome the sensation pressures that are presented to you by a naked women, grinding ontop of you. Which would normally over loads your control in the bedroom. This is why its essential to learn control with these higher levels of stimulation.
Visual Stimulation
Extra visual stimulators increase overall sensation, which teaches you a higher standard of control through training with this form of aide. While also introducing you to concentrating on a visual element, that wasn't previously injected into training. The visual aide, within training increases your tolerance to visual stimulation. So when it comes to intercourse, you will have acquired a higher tolerance towards the ultimate aphrodisiac, a naked lady who happens to be sitting on your dick... There is one limitation to visual stimulation. It wont be able to replicate the extra sensation derived from full body contact that will probably send you over the edge. You could leave this, to when you practice with a partner, or you can attempt to do something about it before hand. This endeavour would offer you the chance to heighten arousal during singular practice, making intercourse less of a sensation leap. Also to be gained from heightened, both visual and physical sensation through extra stimulants, is the elimination of the boredom that can renders your practices useless. Which perpetuates the mood to practice and spices up the off-days, when youre not feeling up to it. With boredom comes an insufficient level of stimulation. On such days you may find it difficult to become erect and find that practice is basically put on hold and atrophy occurs, subsequently resulting in spending your allocated exercise time, trying to get in the mood or hard, and if this happens, exercise time is only been put towards initiating an erection, as insufficient levels of stimulation are present.
Increasing Stimulation
How do we increase our levels of visual and physical stimulation to enhance solo P.E. exercises? A definitive and simple answer is its already been taken care off, in the form of the multi million dollar sex industries. They have been perfecting trying to stimulate your money out of you for years. Magazines are the most common and easy available sexually visual media, and exceptionally easy to get hold off. They can easily offer that added sensational lift, to complement your exercise, as the allure of a naked
provocative lady, baring her all induces a new found throbbing for you to contend with, and also adds that extra dimension to your solo exercises that requires you to learn control with a visual stimulant. They are a first port of call media type, and relatively inexpensive, and may be regarded as a pretty good way of artificially heightening sensation, as they also offer that extra level of excitement. This being the novelty factor, and are easily replaced when its worn off, and for those of you who don't like buying at the news agent, you can always buy or subscribe online.
Adult Entertainment
Offering further visual stimulation brings us to online adult entertainment, which can indulge just about any fantasy you desire, in full detail, and high quality, making them the most arousing media available today. The added bonus of these over video is the better sites have vast contents, normally allowing you to download video which can be viewed straight form your pc or copied to DVD, video etc... Scene stills are offered on the better sites, so you can preview scenes/films before wasting time downloading. This way you can indulge which-ever fantasy floats your boat, ensuring you get what you want, so you know it'll turn you on. Which is exactly the effect youre after. With most sites advertising free or under $3 trials for 3 days (although rolling you onto a monthly payout if you don't un-subscribe within this time limit, be careful, and read their disclaimer for details) it becomes easier to find your required tastes, on a cheap try before you buy system. There's some exceedingly hard-core stuff out their, so be warned. As porn sites have received rough reviews and criticism because of the stories of not cancelling payments, and not providing good content etc... I will be posting a list of reputable ones online, which offer good customer service. Some sites are un-contactable, so should be avoided. Rule of thumb is to make sure you can contact them before handing out any credit card info. Send them a question and see if they reply promptly etc... This should help you tell the good from the bad. A reputable card company is also a requirement. A couple of these are CCBill
and Verisgn. Go for sites that offer short films or scenes of 15 minutes plus, which is an ideal time to work to, and will condition you to last this long. In media player and real player, there is a timer permanently showing, and also a clip length time, so you have a good idea of how long you have lasted, and how long the clip is, in case you desire to last till the end of the scene. The problem with VCR and DVD media etc is that it takes long to arrive if ordered, and you have minimal footage. Online footage offers more diversity and massive content to cater for your taste, offering higher stimulation for you to work with. But I might provide a few addresses of reputable DVD and Video companies here that sell these types of media. I know for some of you this method of heightening sensation isn't for you but if you attempt it you will be presently surprised how effective this method is.
Physical Sensation
This brings me to enhancing physical sensation, in attempting to fill the gap between the sensation created during masturbation and vaginal penetration. First I would like to outline the main differences. A vagina offers warmth, moistness and softness of tissue, and overall stimulation of the penis Its designed to make us come! In masturbation exercises your hand will be doing all the work. Its not a turn on, and only offers stimulation over an area corresponding to the size of your hand. This means that when you stroke your shaft, you effectively move your hand away from the head of your penis on a down stroke and back up the shaft to its head, at the end of an up stroke. Therefore the head of the penis (the most sensitive part) will only receive intermittent stimulation at best. This is one of the reasons we lose control so easily during penetration. As the vagina offers continuous stimulation that we are not used to during masturbation, and one of the main reasons we find our masturbation exercises fail us during intercourse.
Don't overlook this factor as this is one main causes of failure, as the sensation of intercourse isn't only greater and continuous but also different to masturbation. In case youre not 100 percent sure on what I'm getting at. Bring your thoughts back to blow jobs that you've experienced. Think about how long you lasted, and compare the sensation to intercourse... ...You have the warmth, moistness and tenderness of intercourse, and the thrusting motion. But many men claim they can last a lot longer while being blown off, than during intercourse. This is because her mouth, tongue and inside of her lips could not maintain overall constant contact with the head of your penis, as she slides along your shaft, and therefore you probably found that you could last a lot longer when stimulated this way... ...This is similar to the intermittent sensation thats achieved with masturbation, which is used in an exercise in gaining control. If you haven't experienced this difference in sensation, then please forward her number! So now we know the problem, what are we going to do about it? Well what can we do? We will have to find a way to create this constant level of stimulation during our exercises. The most obvious way is to use 2 lubricated hands, one on-top of the other but this can be viewed as tedious. The other way is to use a male stimulator, which attempts to recreate the feel of intercourse for you.
Sexual Stimulators
It is only within the last ten years that manufacturers of male sexual stimulators, have come up with materials (silicones) that can effectively recreate the fleshy vaginal feel, and are easily lubricated as well as heated to body temperature for a true vaginal sensation. That adds that all important edge. As if that's not enough, they can also help you master, implementing techniques while practising thrusting techniques to see how they can work for you, which is more difficult than it sounds. It all adds up, and that is why I highly recommend them. Designers of such devices have spent millions of $$$ trying to be the king of
realistic fake vaginas, and have also contemplated the associated taboo and embarrassment. So some have designed cases for these marital aides that look like house hold appliances, for easy concealment, just don't go accidentally lending it to anyone, thinking its your torch, unless you really do want to light up there life? I know some people will feel averse to using such aides but I strongly view the benefits will strongly outweigh any apprehension. Using such sexual aides will help you! Its the only way of accurately recreating all the sensations of a warm moist vagina that clasps your entire shaft. There are many to choose from in the market place. So if the novelty wares off, or you want a change, you can always buy a different one. By using all means to prevent and cure P.E. you will only better your chances of achieving your desired level of control. Therefore adapting the use of all stimulation enhancers (visual and physical aides) will only benefit your situation. Only add extra visual stimuli when you achieve a level of competence in Practice With A Lover or Solo Control exercises. I have recommended the use of physical stimuli before on request, so am providing a small list of credible products that have been referred to me in the past, located from vendors who provide discreet packaging and secure credit card online processing. Please Click Here For More Info Sex shops are slowly becoming more pre-dominant and in the last ten years, have taken part in the Cultural Revolution known as the internet. This media has enabled them to portray themselves as cleaner, and more presentable, removing the sleazy image and association with perverts, as they now cater for the ambitious couples. While bringing this taboo to a wider main stream audience. Which removes some of the taboo. These different stimulation heighteners work best in combination. So please, when you feel ready, combine stimulants. This will artificially create the most powerful sensation possible that will greatly assist your training to cope with the over whelming sensation that a woman brings to sex
As it focuses you on practising delay with a sensitising replica vagina, and also entertains the eyes with provocative images. That engage in dealing with the nakedness and feel of a lady who's job it is (by design) to make you come. I know this is artificial but you'll be surprised how effective this is.
Thrusting To Delay
In this chapter you will find simple sexual techniques. That as the title suggests, can help you delay your orgasm, while allowing you to simultaneously stimulate your lady. These are great techniques that are easily adopted by any-one. That reduce arousal, which will also help you to implement other arousal reducing techniques, as they take the edge off your rising arousal, which can make just enough of a difference to ensure your further delaying methods become so much easier to implement. All while ensuring you continue to stimulate your lover. Normal rapid thrusting has a better chance of stimulating your lady to orgasm, then the below techniques. Which are at their most effective while leading up to your lovers climax but not during it, as they rarely provide that extra edge of stimulation that's so predominant during regular rapid thrusting, thats lusted after by her to drive her over the edge into orgasm.
The Obvious
I think Im right in saying, we have all noticed the obvious, that the quicker we thrust, the quicker we come, and that if you slowly thrust, your lady loses sexual excitement. Effectively she probably desires rapid thrusting to drive her to climax. Unfortunately its difficult to hold back when thrusting fast, so most men come before their lovers do and hyper-sensitivity (described as hyper-sensation in other chapters) sets in. Hyper-sensation is when discomfort or even pain is felt, in the penis immediately after orgasm. This effectively stops us from maintaining vigorous thrusting, and may even prevent us from continuing thrusting all-together. It also can cause you to become limp and lose any enjoyment of further intercourse without an interlude for recovery. So with hyper-sensation you wont be able to give your lover the few minutes more of thrusting she needs to make her come.
You can clearly see in the above diagrams that although shes sitting in exactly in the same place, her hips have rotated. To achieve this she arched her
back. You will also notice shes not lifted from her seated position, which means shes inducing a minimum amount of friction to your shaft.
Being On Top
Under this subheading, the only real thing to note is why you should try and stay deep within your lover. The next subheading "Improving Missionary Control" will show you how to use this to your advantage. Some times you wont want to be underneath her, or maybe she does not like going on top. This presents you with a problem because chances are you will end up in the missionary position; Unfortunately for you the missionary positions is said to be the most stimulating position for the man compared to the level of stimulation the woman would receives, during it. But there are techniques you can use to help her become more stimulated while helping delay yourself. As before, long strokes will only move the tip of your penis into the entrance of the vagina. This area can be squeezed by your partner, which effectively tightens, what is the tightest area of the vagina. Keeping your penis out of this area, deep within the vagina, and by only using short thrusts, you will ensure the head of your penis stays out of this tight vaginal entrance, and therefore receives less stimulation. Making it easier
to control your arousal. If you find youre still too close to the edge at any point in this exercise, stop, don't move your penis and ask your girl nicely and flatteringly to stop moving. Say something that will make her feel she excites you to such a level that you lose control, and also implies you want to wait for her before you come... ...A complimentary statement here will make her feel good about her-self, and if you do come before her, will lessen the chance that she wont want to sleep with you again/soon, as you weren't being selfish but found her so exciting you lost control, and really wanted to please her. Please note that I have never spoke to a woman who hasn't had a man come before her (unless youre her first that is) at-least more than once. This means that she'll expect you to falter on occasion, so don't worry too much about it. Its the norm. As said before in previous chapters, concentrate your focus on pleasing her, not getting-off. This psychological difference in attitude can greatly benefit your control, and make her feel special; this extra attention may have the extra benefit of bringing her off quicker. Varying thrusting techniques has the benefit of allowing you to bring her great sensation without heightening your own, to the same degree, helping your control. There are various methods to try and I would suggest you definitely try as many variations as possible, and therefore fathom the best technique for you. Self discovery is an important aspect of control, as it allows you to work out exactly how your body reacts.
This action may induce more clitoral contact, and your knob will be pulling up evoking more sensation at the top of the vulva. Where the clitoris resides. This is a similar motion to the woman on top technique, as described at the start of this section but its you who's moving, not her. So you will remain deep within her and eliminate most movement to your shaft. Which removes arousal inducing stimulation, while still effectively stimulating her clit, especially if her legs are wide open. If you intend to slide up and down over her, applying some massage oil to her chest may help lubricate between you, making it easier. But this is not always the case. Don't handle condoms afterwards, as oil turns them brittle in a matter of seconds rendering them totally useless therefore ineffective as a contraceptive. This can be a bit of a tricky technique to follow but give it a go and see what you think. This technique does not move the penis in and out that far but effectively tugs on the top and bottom wall of the vagina, more so on the top wall. As you pull yourself up, your penis will be pulled slightly out of her at an angle. This is difficult to describe, so heres another description. Imagine your lady's lying on your bed, on her back, with her legs spread, so her vagina's at the very edge of the bed. Youre standing on the floor, next to the bed, and youre inside her. Remain deep inside her but now effectively lift yourself up (stand taller) so your pelvis rises but try to remain in her. This describes the pulling of tugging motion that's used in this exercise. Now imagine youre laying on her, or propping yourself up with your arms on the bed, and performing the same action. Have you got it? Try and remain in contact with her pubic mound, as you'll stimulate her clitoris. Which is one reason this methods so effective.
Its quite difficult to distinguish between the first and second picture, so I will briefly talk you through them. You can see from the pictures that in effort to remain deep within her hes arched his back and slightly pushed out his stomach. (This is more evident in the first picture) This ensures he stays deep within her. Never at any point does his pubic mound come out of contact with hers. (In
other words no thrusting) The only real difference between picture 1 and 2 is in the lower picture you can see hes slightly further up her body, as his penis pulls on the frontal wall of her vagina.
Missionary Lift
In fact one of the best ways to achieve better clitoral stimulation and also give greater vaginal stimulation, while totally filling her, is to place a pillow under your partners buttocks in the missionary position. This angles her pelvis upwards from the bed while keeping her back flat on the bed. This lifts her clitoris into a more easily stimulated position as your pubic mounds now in greater contact but be careful its extremely sensitive. You will also be able to penetrate her even deeper. This creates more sensation for her and means smaller movements on your part, will offer her more stimulation. Another method instead of using a pillow is to lift her legs up, so her knees point to the ceiling, and the soles of her feet are on the bed, of-course with her legs open wide. I think the pillow option provides far greater stimulation in this area. Experiment and find what works best for you. This method also allows different thrusting angles. It is now possible to stimulate your ladies G-spot lots easier than if she was lying flat, as in the normal missionary position. To which penis stimulation is normally only concentrated on the back wall of the vagina. Now she's angled round, its easier to divert stimulation to the front wall (clitoris side) of the vagina, which contains her G-spot.
Gyrate
This angle allows us to implement another great sliding technique like the one before but uses your pelvis to gyrate, while you slide. Stay deep inside her and ensure your pubic mounds in full contact with hers, pushing your stomach forward, though sounds unattractive, seems to do the trick, while you support
yourself on the bed with extended arms Now gyrate your pelvis and stay fully inside your lady, no thrusting involved, this is sort of an elliptical motion, again stimulates the vagina up and down without excessively over stimulating yourself. Some women masturbate by gyrating their fingers on their pubic mound, which stimulates their clitoris through the labia. It is this kind of gyration that youre recreating. Using this method, you have the added advantage of engorging her with your penis at the same time. This is a great technique to use, when you find your arousals reaching a undesirable level, as your penis wont be thrusting, which reduces your overall sensation. This also maintains and even continues to lift, your partners arousal. Therefore if you choose to return to regular thrusting, you will not have to build your partner back up to her previous level of arousal. Which is one of the main problems with delaying techniques, they seem to always lower your partners arousal as well as your own... If this happens, you end up back where you started, in a no-win situation. So when you need to lower arousal, I recommend trying this thrusting technique. Your partner will probably love it but may need regular rapid thrusting to lift her to orgasm. So I would recommend you use this technique in conjunction with regular rapid thrusting that always seems to do the trick. Varying degrees of thrusting can be integrated into the sliding techniques above, if you so desire. Giving you the option to control how much stimulation you and your partner receive.
Caution
Don't isolate yourself from your partner, and the rest of her body. She wont feel too happy if youre just concentrating on your arousal rate, and control. Concentrate on her needs, and don't forget to caress her body. Making love is a bonding experience, and should be treated as such.
Is She Dry
As you know you cannot enter your partner without her been wet enough to accept you, as you might cause her discomfort. Foreplay will expand her sexual urges heightening her arousal, which entices secretion of her natural lubricants. It is then after she's aroused and longing for your entry, that you should enter her. But if she's still not that wet, you have the option of using spittle or and after market lube which can greatly expand the pleasure for both of you. At certain times of the month your lover will be drier. One complaint some women have is that insertion of your fingers dries them out, so lubricate your fingers well with an after-market water based lubricant or spittle. Note; Never use a lube that isn't recommended for intra-vaginal use, as they can cause your lover great discomfort even pain.
9 By 1
Ever heard of 9 short 1 long? This is an ancient Taoist (yes them again) technique that works in the similar way to the above techniques. By providing you with minimal stimulation, and trying to maximise your partners.
your control level. I have always wondered if one of the reasons this works, is because youre concentrating in your head on counting your thrusts. Which helps control and calm the mind. I wouldn't say this works as well as the sliding and gyrating techniques above, because youre still thrusting and moving your penis into the danger zone. This is the tight, highly stimulating entrance to the vagina. But its a great way of reducing arousal while thrusting. Taoists got this one right.
Oral Technique
The benefits of good oral technique or at least a good basis on which to build and experiment can get you round your rapidity. As you can use this skill to stimulate your lover to high levels of excitement and even orgasm, which may completely fulfil her sexual desires. The bonus of this is you wont need to last as long when you penetrate her. This is also a great skill to have especially when youre having an off day. This skill can also be further enhanced with the chapter Rapidity With Great Sex to help you learn the art of simultaneous penetrative culmination, even if you can only last 30 seconds. Bringing her to orgasm this way provides the penetration that most women crave as their No.1 favourite way to reach orgasm.
Female Arousal
A certain percentage of women don't normally reach orgasm through intercourse. As most orgasms are clitoral and rarely vaginal, the clitoris plays the major part in female orgasm. Some women who have less frequent or no orgasm through intercourse have
been found to have a clitoris further away from their vaginal entrance than women with more regular orgasms. It can therefore be said that this is because these woman receive less stimulation to their clitoris. So find it harder to reach orgasm during intercourse as this area receives less indirect sensation. There is nothing wrong with these women, just a normal difference that naturally occurs in ladies. It therefore might be difficult to know if your lady will orgasm through intercourse alone. Obviously if you have made her come before or she previously reached high levels of stimulation during intercourse, you would at least know her potential to orgasm. But if not, and she has never reached orgasm through intercourse alone, then you might be baring the brunt of her annoyance... ...She may think its just you, that cant last long enough for her. When its actually because she has not received the right kind of stimulation. In this case try positions which create more stimulation to the clit (look in the chapters entitled Thrusting To Delay and Tips & Techniques) and ask her if she can remember, if she has ever had a orgasm without stimulating her clit, as she may have resided to the conclusion that all men are useless lovers.
covered. While caressing her, keep a good eye on how she is reacting. You should have a pretty good idea from the exercise in this book that promotes learning each others bodies and being comfortable with each other. Taught in the chapter called Realising Control. Kiss and caress her body. Use this when ready to move your attention down her body. Maintain good bodily contact, keep an eye on your own sexual excitement, and if too exited ensure your penis does not rub up against her or even the bed. Once you've finished caressing her from an embraced position, you may want to move slowly down to her breasts. You have two options with the breast, to stimulate, or not to stimulate. If fully stimulating her breasts with your tongue try at the same time, gently but firmly cupping them from underneath, to increase contact and overall stimulation, in so spreading your hand round as much of the underneath of the breast as possible. As with a massage, moving from one area of her body to another should not be seen as a take off and landing, rather as a continuation of the previous action. Maintain contact at all times. Try sucking, licking and flicking her nipple with your tongue. Biting is more of an ambitious pleasure. Some women love it while the majority of women will consider this practice painful and a total turn off. I would advise against trying this without first consulting your partner but then again how will you know if you don't try? Teasing the breast involves creating the desire for nipple stimulation. As you should know, nipples are the most sensitive part of the breast offering great sexual stimulation. The effect of teasing builds a longing for you to touch the nipple that if done effectively and your partner is receptive to teasing, will build more stimulation than leading your attention straight to her nipples. One method of this is to circle her breast in kisses while caressing the rest of her body with your hands. It may even be best to stop all other movement apart from attention to the breast to create a focal point for her pleasure. Kiss and suck the breast form the outside-in, in ever decreasing circles, go as close to the nipple as you can but don't touch it just yet.
Maintain awareness over her arousal, and make sure she isn't getting bored. If her interest starts to wane, move onto another area of her body or her nipple if you havent already. But if she's enjoying being ravished by breast teasing, try kissing and caressing your way over to her other breast, so she may lap up even more of this specific attention. If she is especially responsive to this kind of teasing it may well be worth teasing all her erogenous zones before reaching any individual central point e.g. the nipples and clitoris etc.
Where To Next?
Make your way down from the breast to the navel (belly button) in the same manner, sucking and mainly kissing at her skin. From the navel move further down to the top of the pubic mound. This is where most men would go straight for the clitoris. Instead of being so predictable, kiss round the vulva with her legs spread open, until you reach about one third to half way down (don't touch the labial lips or any other part of the vulva) then move your attention along and down the nearest leg while still caressing as before e.g. kissing. This approach will keep her guessing what youre up to. Bringing with it a level of excitement that's not found with regular predictable sex. Its up to you if you stop at the knee. Or kiss and caress all the way to her feet. Don't fail to discover if she likes her inner knee caressed. Feet are also found to be a sweet spot by some, so again discovery is over to you. Every woman likes something different and few will mind you experimenting with different areas of her body. Even if she dislikes the sensation she will likely adore your passion for pleasing her, so its normally a win situation. The more you try, the less likely your sex life is to stagnate. With the feet try sucking on toes and licking the under- sole but only if she's just showered. Even if it tickles and makes her laugh, you have a result. Laughter is enjoyment after all, and that's what sex is all about. Not following a sequence.
The Vulva
Remember the vulva is the most sensitive area of the body. Do treat it with care and always use a light touch when connecting with her, then if you wish, increase pressure slowly to the desired level. You will never need to use hard pressure. If youre unsure ask her. I have asked every girl I have been with what she likes. Some will do more than tell you in giving you a display of how to masturbate them, and guide your hand in the exact manner they desire. I have learnt lots from asking, and no books I've ever read could give me this much personal insight. One of the best ways to start stimulating the vulva is by covering the whole area in your hot breath. With your mouth open wide and as low as possible without touching her, breathe out one deep breath slowly so she can feel the hot air. Then move to the outer edges of her vulva lips, and start lightly kissing round these edges. The inner thigh round the vulva is also very sensitive. Kiss her slowly, moving around both sides.
Her Lips
Try viewing the vulva as a series of layers. Once you've fully aroused the outer, move to the next one in. Other effective techniques are licking and sucking, on the inner and outer lips again don't suck hard, its all too easy to get carried away. This is the most sensitive part of her body. So don't treat it as you would the rest of the body. Stimulate both sides of the lips before you move in.
don't rely on it. If she starts grinding on your face, then youre onto a winner... ...But when in doubt look at her facial expressions. You should continually pay attention this way, and listen to her breathing, as well as other reassuring moans. If her breathing becomes more frequent she is reaching a high state of stimulation. Even the most timid of ladies will become more vocal at this point and express her wishes, especially if you do something undesirable like leave her sweet spot when she's near culmination. You can therefore use her vocalisation to your advantage. As it becomes a good time to experiment on different tonguing techniques to her clit, because youre shore to attain her unmitigated opinion.
Near Orgasm
If you notice a clenching/quivering of her muscles accompanied by fast breathing and slight moans, she's near orgasm. To heighten her sensation at this point, use your hands. Reach up and grab her breast or run your hand up the back of her leg to her bum, and firmly squeeze. Again note her response. If nothing try moving your hand to another area. Trial and error will provide the insight youre after. Every part of the inside of the vulva is extremely sensitive. But the most sensitive area here is undoubtedly the clitoris. Direct tonguing of this area now can often lead to orgasm. First don't dive in, use a sensitive touch. Lick up down left and right. It really does not matter. Try also tapping with the tongue, straight onto the clit. Circling and flicking vertically and horizontally are all good techniques but always make sure your tongues moist. Warning, because the clitoris is so sensitive it may feel painful to her if you directly stimulate it. In This case, lick around the edge, and on the clitoris hood, which should marginally shield some sensation. If this is still too sensitive for her, only lick her vaginal lips above her clitoris, for extra shielding.
Licking the clitoris from underneath will place your tongue directly on the clit, so in this case should be avoided. Always lubricate your tongue with spittle or water based sexual lubricant, (these areas are sensitive so even hand cream etc might sting your ladies most intimate parts. Thats why its best to buy special sexual lubricants) before touching the clitoris. This area is so sensitive that without lubricating your tongue or her clit, you may cause her discomfort or even pain.
Alphabet Technique
One technique I read about was called the alphabet technique. This evolved drawing all the letters of the alphabet on the clit with your tongue. This guarantees stimulation on all side or the clitoris in a varying manner. Try it, I'm sure shell like it, and she wont know that youre typing on her. Remember you have more to your tongue than just its end. Use its all, and try lapping in an upward direction, vary your technique. Do not try to emulate porn stars as their techniques are designed for maximum visibility, so you can see everything in the shot. Their techniques don't normally offer the best stimulation. By all means try them if you wish, they may work great. But I just had to make that point. Remember the more bodily contact the larger area you can stimulate, and the whole vulva is an erotic sensitive area. Remember to always start practising oral techniques, if thats what you intend to do, with kissing and sensual caressing, and always show and tell each other what feels good. Learn what she likes and don't be afraid to try different things and methods but always respect your partners wishes. This chapters only a guide, so try some of the techniques, and do your best to expand your sexual knowledge, and become the love of her life. But don't stagnant your sex life as there's a mass of variety to be had out there, continue your quest to expand the dimensions of fun that can be had in the bed room, or where ever you choose.
Sometimes you might find your lover says she is fulfilled even though she has not reached orgasm. Orgasm is the greatest and pinnacle sensation during sexual intimacy but she may be happy just being made to feel loved and caressed. Women sometimes find it hard to always reach orgasm. So be pleased that she found the experience pleasurable, and don't feel you have not done your duty. This is not your pride at stake. Most of all don't force the issue in an attempt to herd her towards orgasm. If she feels content leave it at that.
During Intercourse
Maintain a thrusting method and speed you can control. Be aware of your partners and your own arousal rate. This enables you to gauge how close you both are to orgasm. If closer to orgasm than her adapt a different position; speed; thrusting technique. If you still have no control and feel yourself rapidly approaching your point of no return, you have a few options. *Note* you should have stopped stimulation before your point of no return, (unless she's really begging you to continue, in which case implementing the finger lock technique is advisable) or you will come and likely encounter hyper sensation. The first option is to stop her stimulating you if she's on-top. Tell her to stop. Lift your body up to hers, and place your hands on her bum so she can't gyrate. This will stop her immediately, even if she's in her own little world of ecstasy. She's likely to be annoyed at this, and this is why you must then find another way of stimulating her. I suggest orally, until youre able to continue. Use thrusting methods form the relevant chapter, so when stimulation
recommences, she's not going to drive you over the edge. The second option (which complements the first) is to ensure you are in control of sex, don't let her ride you like a bucking bronco. As you will have no control. In this case swap positions. So you have control over the pace you make love. Use this approach to steady your arousal so you can implement control methods. Thrusting methods I describe help you dictate the pace at which you make love. Don't underestimate how highly contributing this factor is to causing P.E.
While learning control, fast masturbation can easily revoke all the hard work we have put in so far. So by going for that personal quickie, youre reconditioning your body to live a life of rapidity. If you have to masturbate, try and last as long as you can until you ejaculate to avoid any detrimental setbacks. Try and attempt to last 15+ minutes, even if all you want is a quickie. Lasting longer this way intensifies pleasure and actually helps your control. Treat masturbation as another P.E. exercise and you can't go wrong. Refer to Solo Control for more information on masturbation exercises.
through your mind, the questions; is she enjoying this? What could I do to make things feel better for her? This will occupy your mind, preventing you from changing your mind set to one of self indulgence. Which leads to rapid arousal rising. Once you have learned control, you have the ability to last as long as you desire. Whether you choose all day, or just want that quickie, its your choice.
Combination Techniques
Learning to use and combine techniques so that you make use of all the techniques in this book, to your full advantage, is a matter of personal choice and circumstance. As you might find some techniques difficult, and others easier and more effective. But I thought I would draw up the fictional scenario below to give you an idea how to combine or progress with your exercise regime. But remember, what works for you might not work for someone else. There is no right way, just your way.
every evening, and the other which he practiced in private was Pushing Out For Control which only took a short time to learn. Billy had success with both techniques, and his lover noticed the change. He had noticed the change that Breathing For Control brought him. That enabled him to naturally last longer, rather than having to apply techniques. So went back to my book in search of other exercises that naturally extended control, and also complimented what he'd learned already. These techniques were Solo Control and Practice With A Lover which Billy immediately saw the benefit off. As he started to notice his natural lasting time climbed, plus he also noted with these techniques that it becomes easier to control him-self on the verge of orgasm. These two techniques still enabled him to practice previous techniques he already learnt, at the same time. This is when Billy really started to understand that he had a choice of what techniques to use, at any particular time, and that with practice he would find out what worked best for him. This is where he added and started learning PC Clamps and again noted its advantages in use. Billy has read through this book many times, and has learned something new each time, as his understanding of control had progressed. He now has a grasp of every technique in this book and is now a multi orgasmic man, who has the ability to come within minutes for the times when his lover and he, just want to get off rapidly together, or hold out for hours in a passionate rampant lustful sex session. Whatever the situation called for. Learning control, Billy concluded, was one of the best things he'd ever done, as he built confidence, and lived a happier life knowing that everything was well, in their sex life. It was a huge sense of achievement that only accomplishment could describe. Billy didn't just learn how to control his ejaculation. He also learned how to be a better lover, who knew how to treat his lady, not just in bed, and found through this, he and his lover became closer as a couple, and lived together happier because of it.
A Crafty Aphrodisiac
Heres another psychological technique that signals your partner to release control over her climax. Women have great control over their climax. Which means they often hold out until they think youre nearing ejaculation. Most of the time they wait too long, and you find youre spent before shes reached orgasm. This can leave your lady very frustrated. As she's close to orgasm but because she's held out you might of had to stop or slow thrusting to avoid hypersensation. Which is the over sensitising or pain felt after you ejaculate, hindering your continued thrusting. Making it difficult for you to stimulate her to orgasm. In order to prevent this problem, you use a technique that involves signalling her earlier, or at a time of your choosing, so you can relax and enjoy your orgasm. This is very sneaky, so keep it too yourself. Have you ever noticed that you both breathe faster when youre near orgasm? Its a tell tale sign of how aroused you and your partner are. If your breathing rapidly starts to rise, she knows youre coming close to orgasm. This technique takes advantage of this signal. You basically want to signal her sooner than you would have, naturally. By simply breathing faster she thinks youre going to come sooner than you are. So releases her control, so her arousal builds towards orgasm. As youre faking it, you'll be at a lower arousal level than she thinks. So hopefully she'll then think youre going to come pretty soon, so then try and catch up, in so doing everything she can to bring her self off quickly. It might even be a subconscious release of control on her part, that's triggered by your breathing-rates rapid ascension. Either that or voluntary. But if its subconscious she'll not know why she didn't last as long as normal, and may attribute it to your skills as a lover! When you would like her to catch up on your arousal, simply adopt a faster breathing pattern, a bit of acting may be required, recreate the facial expressions you create near orgasm, maybe moan in ecstasy, note the way you move your mouth when you breathe/pant when highly aroused etc.
Be careful of this technique as she might catch on, which means a loss of trust. So if she does come before you, don't just remove your facade, (suddenly stop rapid breathing) but maintain it, and bring yourself to orgasm, or just slow your breathing but still show her your arousals high. If she asks any questions, like I thought you were going to come? You can tell her you held back for her in order to please her. She will appreciate this. Sort of like this. YOU did you enjoy that baby?" HER yes it was wonderful, did you come?" YOU "no honey, I was trying to hold out for you but I will soon, as you've got me so dam turned on that I don't have any choice" HER then come for me baby" Get the idea! Sneaky but effective! It is best to try and come at the same time as her as she will feel your very compatible in bed, and you also wont arouse suspicion. Women don't suffer form hyper sensation, so if you continue for longer than her, she will not feel this discomfort. But that doesn't mean she cannot become sore, or feel other discomfort. Concentrating on forcing rapid breathing can actually delay your orgasm, because youre concentrating on a physical sensation. It is mainly the "concentration" aspect that calms your mind as it takes promotes a different thought pattern and environment.
She's Uncontrollable
Are you actually loosing sight of your control, or do you have an uncontrollable lover. Who, once she's on-top, engages full steam ahead. How are you meant to deal with that? The answer is you will have to take control. Either go on-top, or slow her rampancy by placing your hands on her hips. So you can guide her into a slower pace. From then on try to instigate some variety into your sex life. Try different positions, and different love making techniques, described in the chapter "Thrusting To Delay".
Your partner isn't after a marathon man, only a man who can compliment her sexually. Whether you both want a 3 minute quickie or 2 hour love fest. These complimenting qualities are all that's needed to be perfect lovers.
Lubrication
I have always been a firm believer in obtaining a sexual lubricant, to aide those times of the month when your lovers not as moist as she finds most comfortable for her. Using a lube at these times will increase her pleasure, ensuring she's not uncomfortable, and improving the whole sexual environment. Running a lubricant round your partners labia and the outer edges of her vagina can aide your entry. Ensuring she suffers no discomfort and you'll find it easier to slide straight in, which eliminates mood killing fumblings. Also if you insert your fingers into your lover, your fingers will consume some of her natural lubricant and dry her out, so again buy an inexpensive sexual lubricant, unless she feels comfortable with your spittle. *Note* Only use a specially made sexual lube as others will play havoc with her vagina, and any oil based lube will turn any condom to mush within seconds, rendering it completely useless.
Combination Techniques 2
Combining exercises is essential to gain control. So I would like to give you another practical example of a successfully combined exercise. This combination exercise is one of the most effective cures of P.E. That's why I chose this one for the example. Combine "Breathing For Control" and "Pushing Out For Control". So start your slow breathing exercise, and slow thrusting. Visually count each breath as in the exercise. Once this is in motion you can start to implement 'push outs' from the chapter "Pushing Out For Control" Which are best done on the sliding 'in' part of each thrust, as here it requires little conscious thought, and wont take your mind off your breathing. Push outs only normally require 3-10 pushes, as they cause you to lose vast amounts of arousal, so only need to be done intermittently. Whenever you feel the need. If you are having major problems reducing arousal, continue 'push outs' with the breathing exercise, until youre back under control but always implement 'push outs' under an arousal level of 8.5. This exercise also works well with the second breathing exercise, attached to the end of "Breathing For Control" which is called, "Think Calm". Which is an exercise you shouldn't over-look.
Stress
Ok, just a reminder here about the consequences of too much stress in your life. It affects your ability to do most things and control is one of them. Think about the stress in your life, and try to eliminate as much of it as possible. This can only benefit you as stress is a killer. So is cholesterol; mainly eating fast food; drinking too much; working too hard; smoking in excess; too little sleep etc... All of which contribute to P.E, and loads of other medical or otherwise, problems in life. I know that when I work too hard and don't get that much sleep that I feel fatigued and devoid of my libido. A healthy life is a good life. I'm not trying to dictate your life, just repeat the obvious in hope it may make you at least think, about your current situation, and any improvements you can make. Even little things can help. The chapter "Breathing For Control" can help with stress, as its based on breathing techniques Buddhists use to meditate. I see stress as an evil we all seem to have to put up with, in daily life, and have always wanted to research more deeply, how to help with this ailment of fast modern living. I would therefore like to create a page pertaining to this evil. If and when I do I will post a link to it from here.
Don't ever give up on at least a degree of maintaining control, or you'll never be the competent lover you feel you can be. When interviewed, a porn star was asked how he managed to last as long as he does. His answer was "practice, practice, practice"! (Wise words) This is the only way you get what you want in life. By putting in the time you will achieve your goals.
Regards
P.S If you have come up with a specific combination of techniques that you find worked especially well for you, and you want to share them with everyone else, please click here to email me and Ill consider your story for my news letter.
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External Links
Here you will find a list of all the links in the entire book, which saves you time searching. 1. Aromatherapy Bath Oils 2. Tai Chi 3. Lubricants 4. Condoms 5. Delaying Ointments 6. Cock Rings 7. Magazines 8. Online Media 9. DVD Video 10. Stimulators 11. Incense 12. Scented Candles 13. Stress Cures 14. Partners, Joint Venture 15. Bibliography