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27 PERSUASION TECHNIQUES

Chris St. Hilaire is a distinguished consultant, with more than 20 years


of experience in communication strategy. He has developed
communication programs for some of the most powerful corporations
in the United States, such as important law firms, national political
organizations and for relevant political personalities, including
gubernatorial candidates. He has also worked as chief strategist on
presidential and senate campaigns and has been a keynote speaker at
companies such as Microsoft and Google.

Founder of the company M4 Strategies , in 2007 it was recognized at


the American Business Awards, as one of the most innovative
companies in the country.

The author, through this book, offers a new philosophy on


Persuasion , pointing out that it is not a struggle against the
adversary, or an attempt at manipulation or coercion, but rather the
creation of a consensus in a situation of conflict or indifference. ,
developing an idea or action plan to create a common purpose.

With current examples, each chapter of the book offers viable ways to
position your point of view, while respecting the point of view of the
other. Instead of turning the situation into an "us versus them," the
book offers tactful ways to make your opponent feel valued and not
threatened. The strategies are insightful, understandable, and
extraordinarily effective.

THE ART AND CRAFT OF PERSUASION

In all environments, successful persuasion shares certain common


denominators. Whether you're talking to your spouse or twenty
million constituents, the tactics are the same. All persuasive people
use them, and in 27 Persuasion Techniques , Chris St. Hilaire shares
them.

Persuasion is an art and a craft. Through the book you will gain ways
of thinking and putting into practice the art of persuasion, maximizing
your capacity and allowing you to be more persuasive in the situations
you encounter.

Whether in the personal sphere, politics or a courtroom, the


fundamentals of the effectiveness of persuasion are always the same.

The 27 fundamental techniques of persuasion complement and


reinforce each other.
1. Focus on the goal

People often lose sight of the goal by getting stuck in the process: the
ideas, meetings, procedures and steps needed to reach that goal. To
persuade, the first thing is to define the goal and make decisions
among all the components of a group, so that they are involved and
contribute from the beginning. We can ask: " What is our goal? "
"What are we trying to achieve today? " and let them talk and search
for the answer, reducing the goal to one or two simple sentences that
everyone agrees on even if it seems obvious.

2. Evaluate egos

At the most basic level, to persuade you have to start by


understanding the ego of the people we want to convince and
recognize those people who feel threatened, since they are not going
to be open to our ideas.

In Eastern philosophy, between the ego and the spirit there is a


struggle: the ego creates a wall between oneself and others out of
insecurity, while the spirit desires to create a connection. You feel
liberated when you are aware of the struggle between your ego and
your spirit. When you recognize your ego, you stop feeling driven by it
and consciously decide whether you want to act from the ego or from
the spirit; being more effective, influencing others from the spirit,
since it unites and includes.

Before holding a meeting, in which you intend to convince, it is


advisable to evaluate the different egos, starting with oneself. We
must reflect on the conversation that is going to be had, identify the
points that may concern us and face our fears strategically and not
emotionally.

We should also spend a few minutes thinking about those people we


want to persuade: whether previous meetings were friendly or not,
whether they are allies or not, whether we receive public attacks or
lack of support, whether they intimidate us... it is advisable to
distance ourselves from negative feelings, trying to reflect in a neutral
way on the relationship that has been maintained with those people.

We can evaluate the egos of others through conversation, looking for


clues that help us define the ego and whether it is an open- or closed-
minded person:

- People with secure egos tend to be extroverted and aware of how


their words affect others. They ask questions, being interested in the
answers, they ask for opinions, they do not interrupt and they also
listen and generate a favorable and participatory attitude.
- People with insecure egos tend to say "or" frequently, put others
down, interrupt, display negative opinions almost exclusively, use a
lot of "buts," and dismiss the opinions of others.

3. Calm or avoid other egos

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Opportunity
Techniques to persuade a person and get them to accept new ideas,
making them feel safe and accepted:

- When faced with an insecure interlocutor , it is best to calm down


and avoid a confrontation, remembering that there is a common
objective, and with language that supports the other's position. With
very insecure people who want to impose themselves, it is better to
avoid them and not respond, using phrases like: "anyone's opinion is
valid. Even if we don't share it we should listen to it."

- When faced with irritable or aggressive people , often the best


response is not to respond. You don't have to cower, but you don't
have to fight either, it's better to let it be. By not allowing it to affect
us, we avoid it and make it easier for it to consume itself.
- We can calm the ego by using phrases like “from my perspective,”
as it conveys that the other person may also have an opinion. When
dealing with important people, we can also calm their ego by trying to
approach the situation from their perspective and then make them
converge with our strategy to help them achieve the objective.

4. Not to oppose, to neutralize the opposition

When raising an idea, we find people who support us, others who will
be against, others who will remain undecided and others who,
agreeing, may react by attacking. When faced with them, the best
response is to offer them nothing to oppose and not respond to their
attacks.

Depending on the situation, we can carry out different strategies:

a) In an argument with another person , instead of responding we can


nod silently and wait a few minutes. In 90% of cases the other person
will moderate their position, since everything tends to balance and we
know when we have gone too far in our reactions. If we cannot get it
to moderate, it is most likely for reasons that cannot be resolved with
a discussion.

b) When the discussion arises within a group , the author suggests


the same tactic, that is, if someone attacks our idea, it is best not to
respond and let the other person's words hang in the air and the rest
of the group arrive. to your own conclusions. Later you can return to
the original objective without making any value judgment about that
person. This attitude reinforces us as leaders in the unifying role and
subtly puts the opponent in their place without us having to say
anything.

c) Redirect energy when ignoring an attack does not end the


opposition, the strategy is to agree with that person by supporting
their point of view. In this way we eliminate the reasons for the
opposition and we will be able to return to the issue by approaching it
from another point of view. Generally, within a discussion point,
debates are divided into smaller debates. We will use phrases like "I
understand your point of view" and leave it at that, or rephrase the
other person's reasoning and ask "Is this what you mean?" , we can
conclude by recognizing that it is interesting.

d) If we want to control the discussion and we are not part of the


debate. When the position of power is equivalent, someone may
propose a suggestion and another may oppose it. In this case we can
intervene by reaffirming our role as leaders, reminding everyone of
the objective and asking questions such as "Why are we here
today?" .

e) When there is a clear leader in a group , he or she sometimes


allows heated discussions to take place, because he trusts that the
group will solve problems without the need for his intervention, since
this can limit creativity and be interpreted as an imposition of the
leader's point of view. .

5. Turn our weaknesses into advantages

One's weaknesses must be recognized out loud before others and in


this way we can reframe them as an advantage: age, experience, sex,
a physical defect, etc., can be considered as weaknesses by an
audience or rival. It is about identifying the positive aspects and
explaining them to others: the young person brings freshness and a
different vision; one older, more experienced; a person with a sensory
disability compensates for his limitations by developing other senses,
etc.

6. Find something that others like

Chris St. Hilaire recognizes that sometimes you have to work hard to
find something you like about the other person, and as a last resort,
remember that everyone has a family and everyone wants to be
appreciated.

To persuade, listeners must believe in both the speaker and the


message. If they don't like the first one, they will distrust the
message. To please others, we must start by getting them to like us,
so we must find at least one thing that we like about each of them.

In Buddhism, sin is thought, because it comes from action. If we think


we like someone, our feeling about that person changes. Sometimes
we have an instinctive reaction, regarding certain individuals, in a
negative way and it may not be correct. To avoid negative first
impressions we can try to make a "mental change", since each
personality characteristic can be seen in two ways and we can change
them from negative to positive, for example, a stubborn person
becomes determined, a skeptic becomes prudent, silent in reflective,
critical in analytical, aggressive in vehement, etc.

7. Take advantage of the first five minutes

In the first five minutes of a meeting, in which the objective is to


persuade and the ego is on high alert, it is about making them feel
comfortable and relaxing the interlocutors so that they are receptive
to new ideas. To make a good first impression, you must: smile, make
eye contact and give a firm handshake.

During the first five minutes, two types of impacts occur.

1 .- Verbal : It is advisable to greet in a polite manner, show interest


in our interlocutors and make them feel valued, thus demonstrating
that we have taken care of getting to know them previously, through
different sources or, if we already know them, asking about an
interesting project. in which they intervene.
2 .- Visual : The usual thing is to adapt our way of dressing to that of
the people with whom we are going to meet, although we can dress
differently, in an elegant way, if it is our daily way of dressing.

8. Be present

There is nothing worse for a person's ego than trying to talk to


another person while they are doing another activity, such as talking
on the phone or answering messages.
Great communicators maintain eye contact, touch their interlocutors,
and ask them something about themselves.

9. Recognize the reality of others

Considering that the number of personal realities is infinite, each word


we pronounce will pass the filter of the listener's personal experience,
which will determine their opinions.
Active listening is a way of showing that we listen to others and pay
attention to their concerns, while at the same time providing us with
valuable information about what objections they may raise.
We have to find something that everyone can agree on to unite them
and achieve a common goal. The point is not to refute the opinion of
others, but to understand and admit it, thereby facilitating the
receptiveness of collaborators towards a project (because we are
recognizing its reality), making it easier to obtain their trust.

10. Make it a matter of choice, justice and responsibility

Offering a Choice (limited to three, for example) is an excellent way


to present a plan and we can discuss which is our preference,
emphasizing the other party's freedom of choice.

Justice is a little more complicated because its definition changes


according to the vital needs of each person, taking into account that
the other person's reality will not always be the same as ours. By
introducing a derivative of this word into the debate, we are dignifying
our listeners, making them see that we identify with them, making
them more receptive to our ideas.
We can say, " I want to make sure that this plan is fair to everyone ,"
or we can use words like Balance : " It is very important to me that
in the end this is a balanced proposal ," which will provide us with
adequate breeding ground to reach be the leader, because everyone
thinks we want the common good.

Responsibility is especially effective when applied to oneself,


expecting others to also respond responsibly. Using the words
Balance of Power : " Let's establish a balance of power so that I am
responsible to you and we all succeed " (the important thing is to be
first), we provoke agreements or explanations of why they do not
want to be responsible.

11. Make it simple

Politicians, lawyers and salespeople know that repeating a short,


powerful message is essential to winning: Whoever has the simplest
story will not always win, but they will have a good advantage. When
people are constantly bombarded with messages, they become
selective about what they want to hear and won't pay attention unless
the story is compelling and relates to their personal experience.

To be effective, you must explain a simple story that catches the


listeners' attention and makes them unite and care to achieve a goal.

An effective story can be built from two premises: being clear about
what the objective is and understanding the reality of the
interlocutors. When its reality is recognized, the objective can be
adapted and a story that can connect with listeners can be shaped.

12. Appropriate the language

In business, it means that others will remember the product or service


we offer. For those who work in advertising, the gold standard ,
when it comes to appropriating language, has always been when the
name of the product replaces the real name or verb that was
previously given to the object or action, such as Kleenex (for
handkerchief). o Zeal (by adhesive tape).

13. emotional language

Using emotional language we get the interlocutors to understand our


reasoning and also feel it. When we use it we should ask ourselves:
"What is the most basic and specific way in which the issue in
question affects the daily lives of my audience?" For example, the
author of a document can be told that he has done a smart job, rather
than telling him that he has done a good job.

14. Make sure everyone is involved

We have to make our interlocutors feel our ideas as theirs, creating


situations that encourage others to speak out for or against them. The
author proposes five tactics, especially effective for participation and
commitment:

1 .- Asking questions and paying attention to the answers that


agree with our objective : As there are usually not infinite
possibilities, by asking the right questions, sooner or later someone
will answer the answers that support our objective, at which point we
can agree.
2 .- Taking advantage of a minor issue to promote the main
objective , trying to be attentive to everything others say.
3 .- Uniting different issues, taking advantage of the suggestions
of others.
4 .- Using the language of the interlocutors to describe the
objective. By adapting to their way of expressing themselves we make
them feel good.
5 .- Adapting the language with the use of phrases that
someone has said, as an important and official element of the project.

15. Get independent support

Few people want to be the first to agree with someone else's ideas
and, at the same time, no one wants to be the last to get on board.
Most want to be in the middle, but closer to the first. Providing
independent supports can help people overcome the fear of being
first.

You don't have to present it in a very intimidating way, because then


it could be taken as a challenge. What is intended to be achieved is
for others to know, like the one who does not want the thing, that
someone else (preferably someone they admire and respect) has
considered the idea and thinks it is good.
In organizations, independent support can come from colleagues who
want to share in the success of the idea. In practical terms it's a
smart move, because successful persuasion is about building a
coalition.

If we can't find anyone to support us, the best way to find


independent support is through the internet, opinion articles, studies,
or research that can support our idea.

16. Present some figures

Figures are added to an argument to add another type of credibility,


independent to our ideas, and to have solid data on which to rely to
defend them, and because numbers are easy to remember and help
the idea to be recorded in the minds of the people. listeners. Numbers
are usually presented: as a simple and forceful quantity, as a
comparison or as a percentage.

17. Give weapons to our allies

We ensure that those who agree with us have the information they
need to influence others, whether when we are not present or when
we are in a meeting and need a show of support. The reasons can be
very different and come from different areas:
1. Statistics, trends or other figures.
2. Third party support.
3. Background that corroborates our idea.
4. Experience.

Anything that supports our position can be a reason as long as it is


brief and specific. Brevity is important, not only so that allies can
remember it, but so that the people they talk to can remember it.

18. Seek the support of the undecided

In all groups there will be people who take our side from the
beginning (unless our idea is very risky or radical) and there will be
those who are against it, because they are skeptical or for another
reason. The only thing necessary to win is to get some undecided
people to support our idea.

The challenge when dealing with undecided people is that they often
do not care about what we propose, declaring themselves
independent. Sometimes they vote, but usually they don't care, nor
do they pay as much attention as people who are attached to their
opinions. If they are forced to make a decision, in discussion groups,
they tend to view the situation negatively or find fault with both
parties.

Convincing the undecided requires subtlety; it is not advisable to ask


direct questions to individuals who have not given their opinion, to try
to force them to take a position. It is advisable to try to gain their
trust by talking to other people in the group and having the undecided
observe. The secret lies in how we handle the opposition. One method
that can be used is to incorporate the point of view of those who
oppose it and then change the debate. By acknowledging some merit
in the other side's opinion, we show the undecided that we are
reasonable, open-minded people. It is difficult for those who are
undecided to reach a determination, many times because they
understand the different points of view of the parties and, with the
previous strategy, we are showing them that we are also capable of
understanding them.

If the opposition has some solid and obvious reasons, acknowledging


them immediately will take away their momentum and impress the
undecided.

It is not necessary to convince all the undecided, just enough to


create a critical mass on our side. Once this is achieved, we can set
about unifying the group, perhaps making one or two concessions to
the opposition, to show that we are practical and fair. The reason we
make trade-offs should be strategic and not emotional.

Some undecided people will finally stop standing on the sidelines and
make a decision. They will probably support the ideas of the people
who treat them with the most respect and prove to be the most even-
handed.

19. Avoid absolutes and hypotheses

It is advisable to avoid absolutes whenever possible and not respond


to hypothetical cases. They are two cases that cause the same error:
making a promise that may not be able to be kept.

Absolutes include words like "everything, always, never." In


persuasion, you have to be careful with them, as they can make
commitments that are not credible or generate distrust, such as: we
always return calls on the same day or promises from politicians that
they will never raise taxes. If absolutes are used, to appear more
solid and forceful, we can fall into the trap of not appearing sincere,
and it is advisable not to use them so as not to corner ourselves.
They can be used referring to past events, although without
exaggerating them, as they can be verified. In facts referring to the
present or future, it would be most prudent not to cite them or
replace them with more flexible adjectives, for example replacing
"never" with "rarely."

Hypotheses are questions like "What if...?" Dealing with these


expressions is more difficult than avoiding absolutes, because
hypothetical questions often seem to demand an absolute answer.
You do not always have to respond and in the world of organizations it
does not make sense to respond to any hypothetical or improbable
situation that may occur to someone. If, for example, we are
promoting a new perspective or strategy, the goal is to present the
project in the most convincing and sincere way possible, not by
answering hypothetical questions, or using phrases like "No one can
predict the future, so I prefer not to ask hypothetical situations . The
formula is to respond with something that is true and verifiable (in
past situations) or reasonable (in future situations), conveying a
general feeling of sincerity and that we have reflected on the issue.

20. Learn to use silence

Great communicators use silence to persuade. For example, veteran


journalists explain that, to get information from interviewees, they
use the following method, arguing that people almost always respond
to questions in three phases: 1.- They answer what they think you
have asked them.
2 .- They are explained in more detail.
3 .- If you do not ask them another question immediately, and let the
silence do its work, they imagine that you have not understood them
and they will strive to explain their point of view more concisely,
expressing themselves with more passion and precision in this third
spot.

We can use this strategy by asking questions and waiting long enough
to hear all three parts of the answer, and then remaining silent.

When making a presentation to a group, we can use the following


technique: listen to the objection, wait a few seconds, consider it, and
say , "So you say that if we do X, the result will be Y. Good
observation." Wait a second or two more and add: "What if we
approach it like this?" . This way we recognize the other person's
perspective, their ego will be satisfied and the objection will have
been overcome.
During a debate, you should let it finish and wait a few moments
before responding, which will put you back in control of the situation.
If we cut off our interlocutor, it will seem that we don't care what they
want to say, or that we are not listening, which can be offensive.

If we feel attacked by someone, it is advisable that that person's


words hang in the air for a moment before responding. The silence
always seems longer to the speaker, so it will feel a little awkward
until we start talking.

If you are not sure what to say, it is also best to remain silent. People
will think you are smart unless you are proven wrong.

21. Take advantage of physical contact

Contact, which can begin with a handshake, can be a very valuable


tool for persuading. When touching a person we must feel comfortable
and it must be a socially accepted contact, such as touching a
partner's hand, forearm, shoulder or upper back. Touching the other
person's arm or hand, subtly, can make them immediately stop
talking, if they are talking too much, or so that they do not interrupt
while we are presenting an argument.

In general, the person who initiates the contact reaffirms their


position of power. If we are talking to a superior, whom we do not
want to question, it is best not to touch him, apart from the initial
handshake. But if we are the ones who occupy that position, we can
use contact to establish a bond: a light pat on the back or shoulder is
enough to make him understand that we have an open or friendly
attitude.

22. Don't say "No", say "Let's try this"

When you work with clients you can't say "no" if you want to stay in
business. It's important to find a positive way to say "no" and replace
it with "let's try it," or steer the conversation toward the goal by
suggesting alternative ways to achieve it. A fundamental part of the
persuasion process is reframing a negative message into a positive
one.

23. Give bad news quickly and good news slowly

Much of persuasion depends on how the facts are treated, especially


when they can damage your reputation, so it is essential to know how
to present the facts, so that a perception is created that supports our
position.

Good news is best brought to light as slowly as possible, as its


cumulative effect is much more powerful. In the case of bad news, it
is better to transmit it at once, since it eliminates uncertainties and
makes it possible to make decisions to seek solutions.

24. Debunk bad ideas by questioning details

Not in all persuasion campaigns we must incite people to do


something, sometimes we have to convince them not to do something
that we consider a bad idea. The most effective method is to agree
with the general idea and then question the details.

Basically strategy is the opposite of unifying people around an


objective. When we want to convince someone to do something, we
make them focus on the objective, on what we all agree on, and not
focus on the process.

However, when we want to persuade someone not to do something,


we must agree with the goal, but quickly focus on the defects in the
process, highlighting specific details that are not going to help achieve
the overall goal and ending by raising a question. legitimate
alternative. This way we will demonstrate that we are not completely
opposed to the objective, trying not to use negative phrases when we
argue against it.

25. Play devil's advocate

This strategy is used to dismantle another person's proposal or to look


for weak points in our own, since resolving the defects in our proposal
helps us make the reasoning more solid.

When we present a plan, there is always the possibility that someone


will express doubts. Instead of getting defensive, we can say, "That's
an accurate observation, do you want to play devil's advocate?" "We
can try to fix possible problems now, rather than later." In this way
we ensure that everyone is on the same side, and whoever doubts will
have the possibility of having a specific role in the debate.
Understanding the weaknesses of a strategy is as important as
understanding the strengths. As an added benefit, by asking someone
to play devil's advocate, we show the undecided that we are open
people, which will help get them on our side.

Knowing how to play the role of devil's advocate is also essential


when defending the different aspects of the plan in front of people
who want to change it. We must be direct and not use subtleties when
we want to express uncomfortable or unpopular issues. It's okay to
say something tactful sometimes like, "Are you aware that...?" but we
can transmit a negative feeling if we do not stop asking "Do you take
into account that...?" "What if X happened?" .

By playing devil's advocate we bring to light, and let everyone know,


exactly what our concerns are.

We must try to avoid, in this role, phrases like: "I am not against it,
but..." since as soon as our interlocutor hears it he will become
defensive, understanding that I am telling him that I do not agree and
that You have to prepare for criticism. This way we will not find a
solution and we will have generated a conflict. It's better to say, "Is it
okay if I play devil's advocate? "I want to anticipate problems and any
disagreements we have will serve to create a more solid strategy."
Subsequently, we guide the debate into a problem-solving exercise
and, if at any time the tension increases, we just have to remember
that we are acting as devil's advocate so that we do not miss
anything, and that we are playing a role so that we can understand
them better. . We should always maintain a positive feeling in the
meeting, so that others feel comfortable and safe.

This technique is very useful for confronting opponents, in delicate


matters, with doubters, with sensitive egos or with intimidating
bosses.

26. Do not change, "adapt" our position

Events may force us to change our position on an important issue. In


this case we must convey to our interlocutors the need that good
ideas have to evolve and that it is good for them to participate in the
change.
The key is to get the group to own the new message and to accept
personal responsibility for what did not work in the original strategy.
Share the credit and take the blame, in other words, put our ego
aside and make sure that the ego of others is calm and feels safe.

If we want to introduce a new product or service and expect


resistance, the technique is to make the new version seem like a
natural evolution of the original.

27. Be our own expert

The last persuasion technique consists of reflecting on the previous


ones while we still have a communication experience in mind. We can
become our own expert by studying our successes and failures trying
to figure out what worked and what didn't.

Conclusion

Chris St. Hilaire, in conclusion, presents a series of tips that can be


used when you want to persuade someone and which he calls
"persuasive behavior 101"

1. Learn its message: the story in thirty seconds.


2. Relax and breathe.
3. If you get restless, move your toes.
4. Don't squeeze your hands.
5. Don't assume that others understand your profession. Explain
yourself so they understand you.
6. Don't use acronyms unless the group knows what they mean.
7. Let the question finish before you begin to answer it.
8. When you answer, look into the eyes of the person who asked you.
9. If you don't understand a question, ask for clarification. It is better
to appear ignorant and learn quickly than to imply that you know
something you don't know.
10. If you must think about a question, look down, not up. Looking
down denotes reflection, while looking up gives the feeling that we are
lost.
11. You may allow a moment of silence during the presentation. It
may seem confusing to the speaker, but listeners interpret a pause as
a reflective attitude.
12. Silence is better than expressions like "uh-huh", "eeeh" or "you
know?"
13. In meetings with another person, it is good to end it with physical
contact: a handshake, a pat on the back or a hug. It unites and gives
confidence.

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