Anonymous Quotes

There are no such things as strangers, only friends that we have not yet met. Some people have a large circle of friends while others have only friends that they like. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move dead bodies. Friends don't let friends take home ugly men. Everybody laughs in the same language. Be a friend to thyself, and others will befriend thee. How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way. This life is your gift to yourself...Open it! Everyone hears what you have to say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say. A friend is one who believes in you when you cease to believe in yourself. It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. We are all novices. Only the dead have nothing left to learn. Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. Death is only a state of mind. Only it doesn't leave you much time to think about anything else. The most terrible thing about death is that a life-time's reading is laid to waste. Don't take life to seriously, because you will never get out of it alive. The idea is to die young, as late as possible. Death is that state in which one exists only in the mind of others, which is why it is not an end. No goodbyes. Just good memories. Life is a sexually transmitted disease. Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last. A lot of people have great ideas, but nothing in the world is cheaper than a good idea with no action. If you can't giggle, tickle, scream, laugh, run around the room naked, pour liqueur on each other and lick it off, tie each other down, have whipped cream fights, dance and sing with each other, then you are having sex with the person too soon. To fight a bull when you are not scared is nothing. And to not fight a bull when you are scared is nothing. But to fight a bull when you are scared is something.

Encourage the genius in everyone you meet. To do great and important tasks, two things are necessary; a plan and not quite enough time. We all know it isn't human to be perfect, and too many of us take advantage of it. It's hard to make a program foolproof because fools are so ingenious. All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. Final definitive version: We can't stand looking at this any more. Laws of computer programming -- Any program will expand to fill all available memory. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. "Under consideration": We've never heard of it. USER ERROR: Replace user and press any key to continue. Theres always time to do it over and never time to do it right. If you don't have time to do it right you must have time to do it over. Priority: A statement of the importance of a user or a program. Often expressed as a relative priority, indicating that the user doesn't care when the work is completed so long as he is treated less badly than someone else. Real programmers don't comment code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand! If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand. The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it. Computers run on blue smoke. If it leaks out, they will no longer work. Two months in the lab can save you two hours in the library. The two most renowned products to come out of Berkeley are LSD and UNIX... I don't think this is just coincidence. Sometimes insanity is the only alternative. Engineering: "How will this work?" Science: "Why will this work?" Management: "When will this work?" Liberal Arts: "Do you want fries with that?" The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.

The high cost of living, hasn't affected its popularity. Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun. Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things. When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it. Earth is God's insane asylum for the universe. If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it wasn't yours to begin with. Many a young lady does not realize just how strong her love for a young man is until he fails to pass the approval test with her parents. Success in love consists not so much in finding the one person who can make you happy, as in escaping the many who could make you miserable. The two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success. The thing about real life is that important events don't announce themselves. Trumpets don't blow, drums don't beat to let you know you are going to meet the most important person you've ever met, or read the most important thing you are ever going to read, or have the most important conversation you are ever going to have, or spend the most important week you are ever going to spend. Usually something that is going to change your whole life is a memory before you can be impressed about it. You don't have a chance to get excited about that sort of thing ahead of time. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance. Time invested in improving ourselves cuts down on time wasted in disapproving of others. Once you begin to understand life, you don't need an excuse to be confused! After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done. "I must do something" will always solve more problems than "Something must be done." The envious only hate the excellence they cannot reach. No matter what happens, there is always someone who knew it would. Whatever happens to you, it will have previously happened to everyone you know, only more so.

Why is it that when someone says they are no speech maker they have to go on to prove it? Talk is cheap... because supply exceeds demand. I neither have, nor do I express my opinions. I just string together everybody elses thoughts... it keeps me blameless. When you blame others you give up your power to change. Anarchy is better than no government at all. If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price. A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success. Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. Wasting time won't make any difference to eternity. Buy a man a beer and he wastes an hour. Teach a man to brew and he wastes a lifetime. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder. Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. We too often love things and use people when we should USE things and LOVE people. Do not compare yourself with others, for you are a unique and wonderful creation. Make your own beautiful footprints in the snow. People are like stained glass windows. They glow and sparkle when it is sunny and bright; but when the sun goes down their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. A life filled with love must have some thorns, but a life empty of love will have no roses. A rose only becomes beautiful and blesses others when it opens up and blooms. Its greatest tragedy is to stay in a tight-closed bud, never fulfilling its potential. I once had a garden of flowers that grew only on dark thoughts but they needed constant attention and one day I decided I had better things to do. The best revenge is a good life. Love begins when nothing is expected in return.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts. But if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. The heart that loves is always young. He who tries to forget a woman, never loved her. You have feared that unless you were perfect, you would not be loved... now you will understand that unless you are imperfect, you are unable to love. Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse. Women always worry about the things that men forget; Men always worry about the things that women remember. If all men told the truth, the tears of the women would create another flood. Never trust something that bleeds for a week and does not die. Her husband wishes she were his mother, so he could run away from home. Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason. Just because no one understands you, doesn't make you an artist. Trying to understand modern art is like trying to follow the plot in a bowl of alphabet soup. It is a gratification to me to know that I am ignorant of art. A critic is a legless man who teaches running. What garlic is to food, insanity is to art. To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are. If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up. An educated man is one who has finally discovered that there are some questions to which nobody has the answer. If you can imagine it, you can achieve it, If you can dream it, you can become it. To those who can dream there is no such place as faraway. There's nothing wrong with building dream castles as long as you don't try to move in.

When the past tries to dominate your thoughts, let you dreams ignite your day. Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. Organize your life around your dreams - and watch them come true. To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. A ship is safe in the port, but that is not what a ship is for. The fewer facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion. The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience. It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it. If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe? The things most worth reading are precisely those that challenge our convictions. The bigger the challenge, the greater the opportunity. Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel as if you've lost a friend. Friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it is lost. Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer. Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over. A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away. Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share... being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility. A friend is someone who truly cares, A friend is someone who's always there,

A friend will be there in times of woe, Talking, laughing, and sometime letting go, Times alone we sometimes need, But coming back we will do indeed, There may be times we may not agree, For you are you and I am me, We may argue because of that fact, But our power of friendship will bring us back, Cause the love in our hearts we feel inside, Is not something we would ever hide, So come to me in times of need, Cause you my dear always have a friend in me. If you will laugh about it later, why not laugh about it now? It's okay for students to ask dumb questions; they're easier to handle than dumb mistakes. Troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing. People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito. Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. Cuisine is something like food but the portions are smaller and the prices are higher. If you happen to have French cuisine then the waiter will insult you as you are served. The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. When all other means of communications fail, try words. People usually get what's coming to them ... unless it's been mailed. An accountant is a person hired to explain that you didn't make the money you thought you did. Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. The true Black Belt is the white belt of a beginner, stained by the dried blood of and sweat of the owner. Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. Living right doesn't really make you live longer, it just seems like longer. If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly. I have learned... I want to be six again... You Are Unique... Let me love you one day at a time If You Have A Dream

Be Thankful A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone. His father came along just then. Noting the boy's failure, he asked, "are you using all your strength?" "Yes, I am," the little boy said impatiently. "No, you are not." The father answered. "I am right here just waiting, and you haven't asked me to help you." Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the weekend! In God We Trust --- All others must pay cash. We're often so blind. Our demand for the credentialed so colors our perception of believeability, that we wouldn't recognize God if he appeared within us. God is not dead. He is alive and working; working on a less ambitious project. Man is infinitely apart from God, but God is infinitely close to man. If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system. "Reality" is the only word in the English language that should always be used in quotes. Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we alone are responsible for who we become. The saddest moment in a person's life comes but once. The best way to predict your future is to create it. Many people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference. An argument is like a country road, you never know where it is going to lead. You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely broke. Yesterday is a cancelled check; tomorrow is a promisory note; today is ready cash. Spend it wisely. A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

"I've been thinking," he said, "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone." The wise don't expect to find life worth living; they make it that way. Everything in the universe flows. You cant get a hold of water by clutching it. Let your hand relax and only then will you enjoy and experience it. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you- not because they are nice, but because you are. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. Experience is recognizing what didn't work last time either. Good judgement comes from experience; and experience, well, that comes from bad judgement. Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first, and the lesson afterward. A gifted teacher is as rare as a gifted doctor, and makes far less money. He who dares to teach must never cease to learn. Some people make things happen, some watch while things happen, and some wonder 'What happened?' There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. Sometimes, the road is less traveled for a reason. A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous. Don't worry about failure. Worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try. A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work. Set aside half an hour every day to do all your worrying; then take a nap during this period. Worry is holding in your mind that which you don't want to happen. Remember: If you think it is and it isn't, it will become an is even though it isn't. Someday is not a day of the week. Keep your goals away from the trolls. The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid. Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time. Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

The smile on your face is the light in the window that tells people you are at home. If someone is too tired to give you a smile, leave one of your own, because no one needs a smile as much as those who have none to give. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. There are hundreds of languages in the world but a smile speaks them all. Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened. Don't mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it. If it is unfair, keep from irritation. It if is ignorant, smile. If it is justified, learn from it. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes! Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking. The really happy person is the one who can enjoy the scenery, even when they have to take a detour. Most people are as happy as they make their minds to be. There is no such thing as happiness, only lesser shades of melancholy. Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. Those who tried to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed at it. Every successful person has had failures, but repeated failure is no guarantee of eventual success. A man can fail many times, but he isnt a failure until he gives up. Time exists so everything doesn't happen at once. Space exists so everything doesn't happen to you. The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. Your conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you from enjoying it. It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem. It's hard to know just where one generation ends and the next one begins, but it's somewhere around 9 P.M. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone. Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations and choose the one that will get you home earlier.

Help me to resist temptation, Lord, especially when I know no one is looking. Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps, If you are not willing to move your feet. If you're too busy to help those around you, then you're too busy. Sometimes it isn't what you do, but what you don't do that makes you who you are. Every great oak tree was once a nut that stood its ground. If you haven't all the things you want, be grateful for the things you don't have that you wouldn't want. You cannot be grateful You cannot be grateful You cannot be grateful You cannot be grateful So just be grateful. and and and and bitter. unhappy. without hope. unloving.

Miracles come after a lot of hard work. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and sing it to them when they have forgotten. God gave us love. He lent us the rest. Coincidences are God's way of remaining anonymous. "Your task is to build a better world," God said. I answered, "How? This world is such a large, vast place, and there's nothing I can do that seems to matter." But God in all His wisdom said, "just build a better you." All is fair in love and war. I guess that's why so many are wounded. Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like there's nobody watching. To Be Your Best Self Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure? Remember, you must use it, as it is given only once. Once wasted you cannot get it back. Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved. You are what you think, not what you think you are. History repeats itself, which is good because most people don't listen the first time.

Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo DaVinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein. The secret of contentment is the realization that life is a gift, not a right. At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either. Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?" They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere. We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to wreck revenge on everyone who ever screwed us in the past. If Life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then when Life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll learn him. Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them. I'm glad the electric chair is the only method of capital punishment that involves powered furniture. Just imagine being executed by an adjustable bed. Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork involved when your house lands on a witch. They say that wild animals only attack when they're cornered. I suppose that's why my goldfish was so calm when I flushed him. The reason I turned down an extramarital affair is because my wife found the key to my gun cabinet. Be bold with your dreams. Nurture the dreams that inspire you to go beyond your limits. To realize a dream, you must have a dream to realize. When you dream alone, with your eyes shut, asleep, that dream is an illusion. But when we dream together, sharing the same dream, awake and with our eyes wide open, then that dream becomes reality! If you only look at what is, you might never attain what could be. Life is a comedy to those who think; a tragedy to those who feel.

Between the wish and the thing, life lies waiting. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never finding the courage to let the person know how you feel. One day your life is going to flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching. The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Honesty without compassion is brutality. It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out, it's the grain of sand in your shoe. Remember when you see a man at the top of a mountain, he didn't fall there. You must have courage, whatever the test, however many times you fall, stand up just once more. Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many re-enlist. Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching? A man's real worth is determined by what he does when he has nothing to do. Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, but the pig likes it. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum. Speak well of your enemies...you made them. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery? Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. We need teachers - a heroine in every classroom. To teach is to touch lives forever. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser. Blessed are the losers as they determined the winners. How a person plays the game shows something of their character. How a person loses shows all of it.

When life seems just a dreary grind; and things seem fated to annoy; say something nice to someone else and watch the world light up with joy. Most of us miss out on life's big prizes. The Pulitzer. The Nobel. Oscars. Tonys. Emmys. But we're all eligible for life's small pleasures. A pat on the back. A kiss behind the ear. A four-pound bass. A full moon. An empty parking space. A crackling fire. A great meal. A glorious sunset. Hot soup. Cold beer. Don't fret about copping life's grand awards. Enjoy its tiny delights. Think highly of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate. Remember: the average is as close to the bottom as it is to the top. The wages of sin are unreported. The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure. We could learn a lot from Crayons: Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but we have to learn how to live in the same box. Always hold firmly to the thought that each one of us can do something to bring some portion of misery to an end. Everything is okay in the end. And if it's not okay, then it's not the end. Imagine that every person in the world is enlightened but you. They are all your teachers, each doing just the right thing to help you learn perfect patience, perfect wisdom, perfect compassion. The best teacher is one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself. The trouble with self-made men is that they tend to worship their creator. A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure. If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him. Of course, no one would have remembered him either. Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and you suck forever. What's the difference between a lifestylist and a supermarket trolley? A supermarket trolley has mind of it's own. One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed.