The Art of Returning Gifts

The Christmas season is here, and while most folks recognize the birth of Jesus as being the reason for the season, sometimes too much attention leading up to Christmas Day is spent finding what people think is the perfect gift to give someone. We search on-line, in stores and malls. Then comes the ah-ha moment, and we quickly order it. Then we wait. It arrives barely in time and we wrap it with high expectations. Christmas Day finally comes and the present is handed out. The recipient tears through the paper, then oohs and ahs for a momentand somewhat too fast for comfort, moves on to the next present. Many of those perfect gifts are returned the day after Christmas and exchanged for something else; sometimes ingloriously for just store credit. Is finding the perfect gift a lost cause? Well, a long time ago, I received the perfect gift from my mom and I was recently able to return it. My mother passed away this year at the end of July at the age of 97, but fate was kind. She checked out of the hotel of life relatively quickly and painlessly, with my sister by her side, singing Christmas carols to her to ease her discomfort in her final days. My family and I had just completed our summer trip north a mere two weeks before, totally unaware that visit would be the last time we would see her. Looking back at those days with her, Im left with nothing but wonderful thoughts of my mother and the time we spent with her on what turned out to be our last visit. Living in a wonderful assisted living facility in Philadelphia, my moms room was located in a special section for those who were aging gracefully but needed some help. One night when we brought her to dinner, we heard that another resident was celebrating a birthday. Impulsively, I moved to the piano sitting nearby and started to play Happy Birthday while everyone sang along. When I returned to the table, my mom touched my hand and said thank you for doing that. A little while later, my 10 year old son Noah whispered to me if it would be okay for him to play the piano too. I beamed, and said go for it. An impromptu mini-concert followed, which warmed the hearts of all the residents, especially

when 6-year old Zachary took over at the piano and played his one piece several times over. By sharing our gifts of music with the residents, my moms status that night was elevated several notches, and she became something more than just another person at a table. She was the mother and grandmother of the piano players! A few days later, we took my mom for a walk around the facility and ended up in the chapel. I had already cleared it with the powers that be, and I sat at the organ and started to play some hymns for her. She sat quietly in the pew, beaming as she heard those familiar tunes. On the way back to her room, we discovered a grand piano sitting in a hallway with some chairs nearby. It was the perfect setting for a concert waiting to happen. This time, the music was just for her. I played, Noah played, and Zachary played as my mom and my wife became our most appreciative audience. We filled the space and her heart with our music. We of course didnt know that she would soon be leaving us, but looking back, Im so glad we took those precious moments to share our gifts with her. My parents gave me many presents over the years. I remember getting Lincoln Logs, a new red two-wheeler that my dad had to struggle to put together, the Erector sets that made my fingers smell strangely like steel and oil, and countless sweaters of assorted colors and sizes over the years. But of all the presents they gave me, the everlasting ones were the gifts of love and of piano lessons. On that day in July, I was able to return both of those gifts to my mother. As a father, I of course give my boys my love, but I also wanted to give them the same special gift of music that my parents gave me. My oldest son, PaulMichael, is an accomplished pianist and musician. Im now teaching Noah and Zachary how to play the piano. This is the gift that my parents gave to me and Im blessed to be able to give them the same gift. Will they develop a lifelong love of the piano as I have? That answer will take years to be uncovered. For the moment, they enjoy it and they love to play for people. When my boys share their gift of music, they get so much back. Its a total win-win situation. I know it meant so much for my mother to see the legacy of her gift being passed from me to my boys.

As my boys sit at the piano and start to play, they give me a gift that is priceless. It is one gift that is truly a perfect fit and that will never get returned to the store, but is constantly returned to the giver. Lucky me.