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or another, ounce of energy will gradually flow in you until it accumulates pass a climax, then a sudden urge of doing silly things to know her happens. Before you know it, everything happens in a flash, and when you think back, you wondered how on earth did you manage to do or say something as retard. I am in similar hypothetical situation. I observed her since two days and for some diabolical reasons, something stuck me, whispering to me in telepathy mode that I have to know her. Must have one of Cupid's bow shot went haywire and got into me - my eyes never left her. She is petite and small, with long flawless hair. Her features were well defined - especially her eyes that captured my soul in the first wink I caught from her. She is not those drop-dead gorgeous model's style, but when she smiles and her two dimples creases into her cheeks deeply, nothing on earth is sweeter than her. Her charisma and the air that saturates around her is angelic and when I am near her, to close for comfort (it's simply stressing), she smelled like a walking conditioner. I have to know her, if I want this piece of dream to turn into reality. If it were something of my forte, it would have been as simple as snapping my fingers, but I had never approach a girl before. What do you expect from someone who studied in an all guys school since Primary One and not even a single sister at home? Female of similar age don't exist in my environment since I graduated from kindergarten, which was like years ago? Today is the last day of school, which means starting from tomorrow, two months worth of vacation began. Then, my chances of seeing her will be zero because she doesn't even stay near me; she stayed near my good friend, Jerry, private estate. Fate has enabled us to meet because two days back, because I have been going to Jerry's house and I would only see her at the bus stop. So everything needs to be done today! She is sitting in front of me and my mind is virtually blank, thinking of a good way to start a decent conversation with her. Then, the bus appeared into sight and my set my pulse racing - I am losing my time resources! The bus slowed down to a gradually stop and we both board it. I chose a seat near the back and sat down, watching her walked passed me and sat behind. A wave of uneasiness washed over me as I could even sense her gaze on my back. There was an internal war waging inside me as I am fighting against trying to walk over to introduce myself and to remain rational. Finally our stop came and we got down. She walked at a quickened pace, reckoning that I am stalking her
fair and silky-like. we parted. I was. 'Why leh? Miss me ar? HAHAHAHA!' .. I tried learning to be one. I guess she is gonna skin me alive.. I can't let this final chance go by! She went through the gate of the estate by now and my mind is in state of desperation. Five minutes went by and everything happened as smoothly as any successful mission. If my mum knew that I ate in school already. Then she said she had to leave and with a dumb smile reciprocating her sweet ones. 'Cloud. well.was wondering if I. I looked back at her for one final time. Our relation are like good friends now. she is a half Japanese who came to Singapore to study.. Jerry told me to go after her.behind. before running and yelling at the top of my voice that I made it. Before I could catch my breathe for walking back home from the bus stop.. I came home quite late and logging onto IRC and yes! She is there. We exchanged numbers and I learned that she is not exactly local. Watching her gradually moving towards her block is unimaginable. Maybe because I had never had a girlfriend before and always have this phobia of relationship not lasting behind my head. commanding me to finish the leftover food in the kitchen.. Jerry said that guys must be sweet talkers and romantic. that nearly sweep me off my feet.could get to know you and be your friend?? All the energy in me had expanded in this stuttering sentence I blurted. But when he stressed his point. you?' 'I waited for you to come online.' Waited for me? Sometimes girls can be such cute little thing. My face is beginning to blush red with shyness as I waited for any respond. Hi.I. Come on Cloud you could do it! OR you are gonna lose this chance forever!? A surge of false strength filled my veins as I ran towards her. Her name is Yukiko. I delivered a light tap onto her shoulder. so late still never sleep ar?' I heard my mum's voice lurking in the background. I am none of the above. When I came arm length distance from her. Every seconds is slipping passed me and beads of sweats broke out at strategic part of my forehead. she sent me a message. Words like these seemed like healing wards for the day fatigue. Did I mention knocking onto the lamppost and actually apologized to it? It was two months since I knew her and we have always talk online. She turned around. as if expecting all that would happen and gave me a curious look. 'Just came back from school. which means snow in Japanese ?like her unblemished skin.. but my heart doesn't want to sacrifice this stable friendship for now. She smiled faintly and gosh.
I skip my way to the kitchen. so I know nuts about it. whereas they would share their pain and sorrow or cry with them. Grinning from ear to ear. I am a counsellor in school and people approach me for all kind of interpersonal relation problem. Maybe that's why I have another point of view? But when it comes to myself. answer you another time. that's a good attempt. rant about it.' 'Come on.' 'You say wan ar. Just when I am stuck with her questions. it seemed that the treating trick always works. I see you tomorrow ok?' Well.' 'Really. but when it comes to relation. thank God about it. 'Cloud! You are finally here!' . 'Hey. 'Cloud. Maybe that's why girls always tell one another about their personal problem? 'Well. but hey. Maybe people involved will find it longer than it seemed to be.?' Fate to me is like a legend.' Somehow girls are very affected over things happening to their friends in matters of love. you could say that?' 'Then are we fated to know each other. Cloud. . I have never gotten myself a girlfriend. demanded that I finish the food left for me.?' I always hated it whenever girls corner me with questions that neither YES nor NO is the right answer. I have go off for now to eat supper.' Three months and you called that long? It's not even longer than a semester. Couples not suited for each other being force to be together is a painful thing.? What happen?' 'My good friend just broke up with her boyfriend today. it means that I can make use of this excuse to catch a movie with her! I am such a fast learner 'Ok! bye bye!' The next thing I see is the 'DISCONNECT' word on my computer. so long. Err. they will be together right? Sometimes not being together is a good thing. Guys would normally tell them to move on with their life and stuff. gif me a smile ok? I treat you movie next time. 'If they were meant to be together well. Hey. everyone talks about it. my mum with her pissed off face come knocking at my door. I am such a dickhead.' 'I seen them come together and they have been together for 3 months plus. I am moody today.it's getting common isn't it? Relationship are breaking up every now and then.I know the laughter was just to cover my embarrassment.' 'Fate.
doing stuff together and most importantly.' 'y? something is wrong?' Ok baby. Why cry wasted tears over a relation that was never meant to be yours in the first place? Human. then that guy said that he likes another girl. It is like salt and sugar in cooking. sexually or physically. if I am her. after a period of time. everything will just be a memory of what had taken place. They are afraid to be alone .' . they loved love.' A Chinese proverb came into my mind . What about you Cloud?' Me? How come the topic is about me now? I always avoid questions whenever it comes to me in revealing my inner self. grow together. Be it emotionally. It is like exposing yourself to danger through speaking. even though are emotional creatures.' Well. People.looked at the clock and it says 10 pm.' Don't know what to do? Make yourself happy instead of lingering in this sorrowful event? Sometimes I really wonder if woman are that dumb? Or is it love that is making woman a vulnerable creature? And what makes you think THAT it is love? Woman. 'Me? What about me?' 'What if something like that happens to you?' 'Er. Really?. No.they WANT someone to walk by them. in others. whom you least expected it. it won't lar. this would be the catalysis to explode my innermost views again. I am not late. whatever relation will be bland. guys of these days are not looking for serious relation. but she loved him so much and she couldn't believe that he like someone else. 'Cloud. I watch TOO much TV. I will also dunno what the do. betray the trust you given to them and you will have to go through this series of utter disappointment and sadness. love their lovers.I like it! Until maybe when the special one comes along. People have to get to know and go through more relation before they could realise that who is the right one for them what. but he ignore her. Without it. 'She cried you know. I will try my best to be with her. in their first love.' 'Why? Go get one?' . 'I don't want to get a gf for the SAKE of getting one. 'Yah I told her to move on with her life.Tian ya he chu wu fang cao. Ok I admit. rather I am pretty early using IRC entering our usual chat room. my good friend tried to patch back with her bf today. I don't mind being alone . its meaningless don't you think? Relation nowadays are going nowhere because people just want to be in a relation. I don't even have a gf. so poor thing.' All woman loves romance.
' 'Aww.'Oh wait. HAHAHAHA!' Why is it that I must laugh every time I attempt a MUSHY statement? A lousy cover for my embarrassment. until the special one comes along too.' She is such a poor liar. When you praise a girl pretty. but we talk everything else. Somehow.ok I count to 3 and leave. untainted and pure.' Hooray!! I could see my happiness on the computer screen. naturally cute and THIS is the reasons that stop me from jioing her .2. When you say that they look like toilet. 'Cloud. I have to go already. My fingers speed through the keyboard and finally stop at the last word. you say the other time you wanna treat me movie right?' Ok. during these periods of knowing her. such is mentality of a woman. how could cute girls like her possibly stay single? Guys will try all sorts of ways to get her and she would finally succumb to one. no I am not cute. Cloud you log off first.I can't take advantage of her innocence right? 'Cloud. I have eventually emerge the winner as I continue to chat with her for the next two hours.she is VERY naïve and this creates an impulse for me to protect her. they would tell you they look ugly. its almost 12 and my Cinderella has to leave. I loved to chat with her as she is way so different from all the other girls .gone!' . I want to stay single. She showed me the real innocence of a young lady.1. All hail cupid for the golden opportunity! Ok. Oh @$$@! Have I just ruined my good impression? I discern its time to celebrate with Jerry about my first failure. to guide her along. I don't want you to see me go.' I have to leave too. 'I girl mah. ' From a close defeated battle. signalling to my victory of words. its getting late. She is too cute to stay single. he retaliate and bites back.' I can't believe I am doing this SILLY business. 'You make me blushed. I love the way she is.Oh yeah. that why will also be like that. You are right Cloud. . saying you look worst. '3. ok!' My mind was cheering and screaming in rejoice.There was an unaccustomed silence after I type that paragraph. I had never asked about the background of her family or sort. my hypnotic statement has hinted her! YEAH! Lets watch movie together tomorrow ok?' Er.
the location we suppose to meet. It is not polite to be late for a date for the first time anyway. I really meant what I said. Actually at times (lucky thing it wasn't frequent). I commented on how gorgeous she looked today. White spaghetti straps top with jean skirts. was weird but comprehendible. Life is like soccer. I was daydreaming about today's soccer match I played and started pondering over life issues and soccer.40 pm and I was at Starbucks (20 minutes before appointment point) . I waited. We chatted for a while . What load of crap! As I was trying to entertain myself to relieve some amount of tension in me. I can never forget. I guess it was just something to start conversation. you never know when you gonna get hit by the ball in your face. Nevertheless.Plaza Singapura. more female. Her Japanese accent with little tint of singlish that comes along with it. she looked so cute.' 'It's ok.' She blushed and I nearly died saying that sentence.the smell. She looked really shy and reply with a soft thanks. After finishing our drinks. Hiak! . more. but hey.I couldn't get to sleep on that day. I sense her presence . At least she won't be crying while watching a sad movie and I had to cheer her up later. I looked up and saw her smiling and making her way towards me. I bought another ice-blended mocha for her as she said she wanted the same. It was comedy show and Jerry said that comedies is good way to remember a first date. I did not understand what she was saying. erm. although horror show seemed like a whole lot better option to me. She is simply stunning and like a critical hit. its Ok. totally excited about tomorrow's event. It makes them looked. especially when she smiled that I have this burning urge to pinch her cheek. I am pro huh? HAHAHA! Smiling at my flippant words. Gradually. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------It was 8. Woah. I was stoned watching her coming. we will check it out later. 'Sorry I am late. we made our way to the Cinema. I am just early myself. after we decide and made purchase for Shallow Hal. it grew some laughter in it. I simply love girls wearing skirts. Hey.' 'So what movie are we watching?. anyway what matter most is who I am watching with. Going out with a girl? I had never been out with one before! Praying at my bedside sincerely that nothing will crewed up on that day. she gain comfort from my company and from chatting.' 'Nah. not the show.Jerry told me to soften her up with the conversation as she will most likely be as tense as I am. Slipping my favourite ice blended mocha.
Even though she never really answered my question. the ultimate shallow guy. laughs and emotions and at the end of the show. 'Well.The movie is talking about Hal Larsen.' She shaped a smile from her lips. I always seen him talking to other passengers. not bad ar. Rosemary.'Cloud. don't bother about him. which was my first fear. What the hell? Well. Gawd! I need the best of both world answer.I am decent looking. but I love her reply. I think I prefer.We recognized the bus driver. while she giggled uncontrollably. cute girls like. He judged woman by appearance and in the end he got hypnotize by this guy who made him sees woman by their character instead of physical beauty. I could see watery tears rimming around Yukiko's eyes. We walked out of the Cinema and out of Plaza Singapura. Oh man.' I know that sentence was just to cover her embarrassment. at the very least she understand the story. If I say no I am lying to myself. . She blushed and tapped my head lightly. I asked myself and the answer that came up doesn't seemed too good. 'What about you Cloud? Do you like pretty girls too?' THIS KIND of question AGAIN? If I said yes. 'Because human like to see pretty things? I mean you would like to see good looking guys too right?' 'But good-looking guys don't give me security. without realizing that she is not what he thinks she looked like.last time you both dunno each other wan right?' It was the bus driver and I nodded in faintly agreement with him and smiled my way through. I will appear **** shallow. you!' My system was undergoing this contained stress and it is making me go nuts every time she throws questions like these to stumble me. 'Me?' I was trying to buy time as she nodded her head almost immediately. just like me laughing whenever I made mushy remarks. I decided to sent her home by bus as I think this is the very least what a guy should do. the second closest to handsome. We choose a seat at the far back and sat down 'This driver is always very chatty. I think I am not gonna wash my hair today. the same bus 171 where we always take . get to know her liao. the lead actress came into the picture and he fell in love with her. 'Boy ar. The story is a mixture of hearts. 'Don't be silly.' My heart screamed another point of victory. That's why I don't like good-looking guys. that is the real world. of course. I am not good looking .' 'Why must guys like pretty girls?' I was momentarily taken aback by a sudden question. while I tried to reassure her that the world was still spinning and it was only a show. do you think there are people like that?' Sure. We boarded the bus.
' Oh no. We are like one in-separate-able pair of best friend. Am I in heaven? I have nothing to give you. shield and depend. We got down and I insisted in sending her all the way till her block.' I looked at her origami made from bus tickets and wondered whether I should do something similar. One for you. when it comes to expressing to HER. It's ok. It's not good if I am being seen by my neighbours with a guy so late at night you know.' What do you mean that's all? Oh dear.. which contribute reasons for her character. . so I made this two heart myself.' 'That all?. But the urge to reveal my feeling hasn't reached to such stage for desperation yet.someone to guide. said that I am wasting too much time on a single girl. I appreciate her effort though .finally she is talking more about herself. Finally her stop arrived and she had to align. after all life is too short to spend on one person. peer evaluating time! Even though I speak easily to myself. we chatted everyday and each time I felt that I am slipping into this pit of angelic darkness called love. I should have just pop the question and leave the thinking to her.. Whatever problems she has. leaving her all alone. For the next few months. I have to say something that she wants to hear or forever I will be condemn in her eyes. Noooooooo. I am in LOVE with TODAY. she consulted me and I will be there to give my expertise advice. she told me she couldn't go out very often as her guardian is very strict . the woman's men. one for me. but when is the right time? 'Cloud. Look away first!' I did as I was told and after five minutes she hold my waist and put her fist onto my hands. I am score an F9 for it. I have something to ask you. Jerry. Maybe next time I would.Suddenly. not again? 'What do you think of me?. I know she longs for my company like I longs for hers.' Oh ! .I thanked her. Maybe this is what true love is. Her parents are overseas working.' I nodded and finally relented. Well. she took the bus tickets I was holding. I decide to avoid the question using my avoidance tactics. 'Cute? And you are a very good friend of mine. every date has to part eventually right? I watched her fade into her estate and until I caught zero glimpse of her. someone to be there regardless of whether you two are together .
where we could look out towards the roadside. 'Cloud. with me. I am beginning to learn the trades of using words. this time about 15 minutes earlier.' Phew. It seemed that after the episode of knowing her. she stood in front of me. Guess that I have to wait for tomorrow to see her again. waiting for her outside Macdonald patently. again. 'Waited long?' 'Only about 5 minutes. 'Sure! What about your guardian? She allows you to go out?' 'Yes. remember don't be so early ok?. hiak. Five minutes went by and I am starting ponder whether I should reply anything. .' 'Ok. can we meet for dinner tomorrow?' Another date! Yeah I screamed literally at my computer scream as she is able to go out once more. but in this short span of time. I noticed her face is getting fairer and whiter to the extend of being pale.' I smiled at her consideration for me.'There is a lot of things in my heart that I feel about you. Before I could reply with anything. Maybe she needed a large sum of money. Reckoning about her sudden wanting to meet me suggested motives. But it was for good cause. but nevertheless her sparkling eyes never loses its glow. I want to let you know that treasure you a lot. I feel bad if you have to wait for me. that's what TV drama always show. we meet at Mac at Parklane ok?' '/me nodded her head. she allow me to go out tomorrow. the effect of TOO much TV. I can't express it out. borrow from me and then disappear into thin air. lucky thing I manage to come out with this marvellous sentence. Must be the effect of those skin whitening Japanese beauty product.' My first lie I made to her.' Ok I have to go offline now. We went into Mac and sat near the window seats. But regardless of what is it. I didn't know how to reply her smile and decide to leave it until she reply me with something else. As I looked up. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------I arrived early as usual. As I was busy throwing impossible scenarios into the pictures to cease my tension. her nick has quit IRC.
' I went to buy for her and decide upon Mac Nuggets Meal as she is a small eater. I should give in.' You eat anything. The sky is densely clouded and the breezes is strong. just revelling in nature's enjoyment. but just nice enough for comfort. I buy for you. I must have seen like a pervert or something to you right?. and must be fated that will know each other right?' Fate again. 2 packets of large fries. I don't know what was the problem may be. Reached in while moment. Sometimes I feel that she is the only person in the world that appreciate what I am doing .' She giggled out of a sudden and I wondered what she meant. dumb or whatever!. 'Can we go somewhere where I could see the sea?' We took a taxi down to Marina Bay. What you mean?' 'Before those day when you wanted to know me. The first intimate bodily contact I had with a girl back to back. I am NOT surprised. Less than an instant. I eat anything. . I told myself never would I forget such day. We finished our meals and were playing with our straws like little kids.' Good? What you mean good? You mean you want me to trick you to bed and after that meet about for sessions like this? Thinking back. It is not much. but all my mind was telling me was to make her happy . She seemed a little solemn today and I reckoned that if there is anything I could give in to her. We sat down side by side and watched the waves continual sweeping up the shores. just like two hearts melted in one.be it stupid.' 'Oh really?. considering her lovable nature and attractiveness.'What do you want. 'You are my best friend and appreciated it. I spoke some joke and she giggled a little as we continue to our meals. 2 large coke and two boxes of 6-pieces nugget was on the tray as I carried them. I looked into her eyes and her eyes seemed to tell me that she may have gone through a lot of in during these period.simple and sincere. why are you so good to me?. but she always responded. looking at the nightly sky. till now. I shall uphold my reputation. We spoke nothing. silly. Suddenly she position and lean herself on my back with her head facing up. But then again. As we had our little 'fighting'. I tried to cheer her up a little as the topic she started were on the emotional side. only ******* guys would do that and being a good guy.' What? There are other idiots doing the same thing too? Oh well. I noticed that she was looking at me with such mesmerizing effect that I nearly unbalanced myself 'Cloud. Why must woman always bring up the topic of fate everytime when it comes to relation of any kind? I nodded my head a little. we got out and walked close to the shores where the waves roar in protest from the raging winds. cute. I was actually getting a little irritated when you stalked me. Somehow. I realize that you are different from other guys that wanted to know me.
'Cloud. I had to put on a brave front. 'Will you come and visit me if I ask you to?. have to go back Japan. my gaze never left hers . I can't demand her not to leave. Then she stopped leaning on me. Even though I just had a shock from what she had just told me.' The atmosphere is getting intense and to make matter worst. in the present moment. she isn't my girlfriend or something. its nothing much. I pray that I will never wake up from it. My hands formed a tiny. . I.. all I thought of is to shield her from the chilling rain as I didn't want her to fall sick.' Even though I am fighting inside.I have decide not to avoid it. we could chat on the phone whenever we can and I think we better leave now. Well. but at least I could still talk to her online. in my mind.. I nodded my head to her question and her gaze move onto the rough sea. Don't tell me all the fantasy I am having is coming to an end? If this was a dream.The sky is beautiful right?. It is **** dumb and I don't understand why am I doing such acts .' I looked at the sky and to me.it won't block the rain from drenching her. 'I understand. its ok. As if a soldier going for war. would you remember me?. Can we still contact through IRC?' I was hoping for a small miracle. little barrier and covers her head. Girls of her age needs their parents to be with them more than friends. and looked into me.' We both got up and walked hastily towards the road in trying to catch a cab.' 'Yes of course! I will!.' Actually I was wondering why she sobbed. your parents are over there and they worried for you. I could see a layer of wetness in her eyes. is there something wrong?' She kept quiet. it's going to rain. 'Why? I will never forget you. 'I don't think I have computer or internet connection at my house. rolling her vision between the sea and the sky before looking down. We studied each other gaze for a moment and after what seemed like eternity. but halfway through.' Like a prick on bubbles. it appeared as if it's going to rain soon. but it seemed that maybe she wants to bring out something to tell me and I suspect it is nothing good. the I could feel a drop of water falling on my skin. Then. an internal implosion occurred within me. the merciless weather started pouring heavily.
If she told me earlier. Pinching lightly to fulfil my long awaited-desire.Chicken Essence. again. the scene would be unimaginable. there was shelter to her house.' The next thing I knew. my feelings would be just like dying patients with the last stage of cancer .Then. It has been a few months since I last saw or heard from her. perhaps it's better if we keep it this way. reality is extremely cruel . Working through last year papers has driven me to the pinnacle of madness. like an awaken baby in the morning. but if I were to see her off. bringing me the usual examination brain tonic .' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------Boy ar. My mind and soul won't be able to endure the parting scene. By the count of three. After the scene at her estate and we promise not to look back at each other. I am suppose to tell you earlier.waiting for THAT day. I gulped down the entire bottle and sat by my study table in my room. I saw a coming taxi driving and I flagged it. I feel that I already had my last glance when I spoke my last words to her. I looked out of my room's window and thought of Yukiko.1. but I can't bear to. I think.the cab reached her place and lucky thing.heaven makes sport of men.' In my heart. It's terrible! Would you see me off?. 'You are so silly Cloud. there is this robust urge of seeing her every second.2. As I . drink this. she opened her eyes. she was in my embrace and I was stroking her soaked hair.' Tomorrow? Did I just hear wrongly? What's the rush? Sometimes. '3.' It was close to my June examination and my mum knocked and came into my room.' She is right. we both just walk off to our destination and never look back ok? She nodded and I could see her tears closed to spilling out. It remains on my face emotionlessly and dead. rubbing her arms to gain some heat. Her eyes were kept closed and my fingers travelled to her cheeks. for some reasons. Gradually. we should just keep this the last meeting then. I told the uncle to reduce the air-con to the lowest and put my arms around her shoulder. 'When are you leaving then. My index finger teased her dimples a little as she felt tickled and ruffled her head in between my arms and chest All good things must come to an end . Well. I told the uncle to wait for a while and got out of the cab with her. come. I never turn back to even have my last glance.' I actually managed to smile and kept this mask of mine.?' 'Tomorrow. we were in the cab pretty drenched. this brave front indestructible.
but somehow I had this feeling that it was her. I can't allow such feelings to overpower me. in gentle tone. our chats. for not contacting me and making me so worried for her. but no she wasn't. Is this piece of dreamland meant to be only a dream? Tomorrow is the beginning of my exam. the movie. the cuddle and every other tiny little details.' Actually. 'Sorry.' .' 'For making me worried and missing you so badly. telling myself not to ponder over past issues as it may affect my exam performance. the beach. literally. the unexpected rain. but I finally succumb to my inner self and wanted to make sure I won't think back and regret on the fact that I never check whether she was online that day. hoping that a miracle could happen. straws fighting. 'How. I don't mind the duration of her calls . 'Miss me?. I went online that day and see if she was there using another nick. I can't use the phone here for very long too. Boy ar! Your phone!' My phone? At such hours of the night? 'Hello?. I went back to my books and paper and continue began working on it. I rubbed my eyes a little and stretched.depart. Maybe she lost my number over there. I controlled myself emotionally and force my tears back to its origin. maybe she is busy adapting to her new life. I know it already passed midnight.' There was no respond. The first thing I did was to told her to hang on for a moment and screamed at the top of my voice. but I know she has her reasons. you shall treat me movie the next time I see you. For a guy's image. or maybe she has forgotten me? No can't be! How can that be? How can the scenarios that have been taken place be so easily forgotten? The day I knew her.I just wanted to hear her voice so badly.' I smart what! Hey! I never hear from you SO LONG!' I emphasised on the words 'So long' as if I had never heard anything from her for few decades. My happiness could not contain inside me and I need to release it. dinner. I don't know why she never contacts me since then. Then I scolded her. how you know it was me?. Yukiko?? Is that you?' I was praying and gripping the phone hard.
I don't want you to see me hang up on you. doing my revision. Hehz. but I love the surprises Cupid has in store for me. I examined the envelope and it wrote ' To Cloud' on the front. For the sake of going over. in amidst of studying. Curiously. tell me your address?. Regardless.?' 'Yes? You want me to go over? Ok sure. although my mind wandered on the thought of seeing her again. a letter for you. can't talk anymore. I thank you God for giving me this chance!! HOORAY! *Days passed* Finally I am close to finishing my examination .Yeah. Before I put down. remember that day when I ask you if you would visit me in Japan and you said you would. HAHAHA! We spoke on the phone and talked like old friends and the pressing examination stress seemed to have vanished. everything is worth it. I was home. she would pay for my tickets.' I jolted down her contacts in Japan and kiss it. that is when?' Maybe 28 May or slightly later. even though little setbacks filled along the way. I got to go already. like all other days. I tear opened and a letter fell out. Then. provided I give her my words that my results will be good when it is out. I have been studying non-stop. I will go over right after my examination next sat. tell me your address.' Take lots of care ok? I can't wait to see you soon!' You put down first Cloud. my mum calls for me and I guess it must be regarding the trip over. My mum says that if I do finish this examination. Yeah I will see her soon! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------'Boy ar. From morning till night. determined to do well so that I could psycho my mum to pay for my trip. examination?. Dear Cloud. Cloud.' Huh? A letter for me? I had never receive a letter addressed to me before.I used the same trick again. is there anything you want to tell me?. I hurried my revision.today is the last paper. . I was hoping in my heart that time will freeze so that we could chat till the end of time.' With that a heavy heart our conversation ended as I put the phone down. In preparation for the coming trip to Japan. I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE! I want to see her so badly and life has been good to me. 'Cloud.' Next sat?.
but to me.it would have been you. Actually I broke the promise. in vain. because I feared that I may not have the chance to see you again this lifetime. If there is one thing final question I want you to ask me. I love you. I did looked back. but I am determine to finish what I had to say. I hope that the cab could drive slower because I may not get the chance to cuddle in you again. But then again.Before I began. I know you are putting on a brave front because as a woman I could cry and I know you would be there to console me. My operation begins on 24 May and I will call you maybe a week plus before to fulfil the promise you said you would come over and visit me in Japan. leaving my suffering and of course. it would be you asking me whether if I like good-looking guys. By then you would know the truth and I could see you for the last time. if you receive this letter through mail send by my guardian. that's why I ask you if you would come to visit me if I ask you to. not the way you looked. . leaving my physical body. leaving this world. I am feeling a little tired writing this letter. as I will always be around you. So I want to tell you that I appreciate your company. everything you did or said. Cloud. I don't like them because I like guys like YOU unique and extraordinary. My parents wants me to go back to take a major operation there because if this operation were to fail. and I told you I will also wait for mine. I giggled to myself every night after we chatted online and I began to ask myself if I fell in love with you. You may find a girlfriend by then. your advices. but no wrong liking you what right? You told me you rather wait for the special one. I would disappear from the surface of the world and they wants to be with me during this period. very much. But do not despair. it means that I am already gone. I wrote this letter on the night when we parted and promise not to look back. but someone has to be the stronger one to console and reassure right? The reasons why I have to go back to Japan is because I am suffering from a rare case of a blood cancer that may claim my life very soon if it is not treated. The success rate of this operation is only 30% and anything could happen. shielding you like what you did. or I am already in heaven watching over you. Perhaps it is just one sided. I guess I did. This distinct character could only be found in you and I want you to kept it that way for I like the way you are. if there is one person I wouldn't want to see crying . I apologise for not telling you everything about myself. you are the best a guy could be. In this world. I knew that you are the one. You said you are not romantic at all. at least. During the time when I was cuddling in you. although you never express yourself to me. just like Rosemary in the movie we watched together. No. to protect me from the rain today.
I took it and realise that it was the same bus driver again. I clutched my head tightly as trains of disillusioned thoughts sinks into my mind.Yukiko Tears I have been fighting back. have cruel consequences regardless of which options I chose. most of the times. Since that day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As expected. it arrived. Why DIDN'T I LEFT Singapore to Japan? I should have hack care about my examination to be with her. I should not have delay the trip over. I knew something is happening to me. Decisions.' I smiled at him and pointed to my heart. She was waiting for me to pop the question! And I never did! I should have fuc-king listen to Jerry. 'Eh boy ar. totally defeated. I recalled that she still owe me a movie treat . I was at the verge of mental breakdown. lying at the mercy of my ill-fated destiny.' . why your girlfriend not with you ar?. I could let her know HOW MUCH she meant to me and how much I loved her. like a drama. totally confused and helpless. 'Nope! She is with me. disappointed and regretted beyond words. I sat at the bus stop where I first saw her and every scene replay itself in my mind. I was rooted to the ground. made me sink deeper into this whirlpool of depression. my results were good. at this time broke from my resistance barrier and roll down my cheek as I saw the date today . Clutching tightly onto the heart origami that she made. I never spoke much because I was hurt. I should not. I waited for the bus and soon. her final days.although this could never happen and thinking of it. like a baby in crossfire. all the time. At the very least. I was crying.27 May. weeping silently to myself for the tears I owe her and for the lack of courage to express my feeling.