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or another, ounce of energy will gradually flow in you until it accumulates pass a climax, then a sudden urge of doing silly things to know her happens. Before you know it, everything happens in a flash, and when you think back, you wondered how on earth did you manage to do or say something as retard. I am in similar hypothetical situation. I observed her since two days and for some diabolical reasons, something stuck me, whispering to me in telepathy mode that I have to know her. Must have one of Cupid's bow shot went haywire and got into me - my eyes never left her. She is petite and small, with long flawless hair. Her features were well defined - especially her eyes that captured my soul in the first wink I caught from her. She is not those drop-dead gorgeous model's style, but when she smiles and her two dimples creases into her cheeks deeply, nothing on earth is sweeter than her. Her charisma and the air that saturates around her is angelic and when I am near her, to close for comfort (it's simply stressing), she smelled like a walking conditioner. I have to know her, if I want this piece of dream to turn into reality. If it were something of my forte, it would have been as simple as snapping my fingers, but I had never approach a girl before. What do you expect from someone who studied in an all guys school since Primary One and not even a single sister at home? Female of similar age don't exist in my environment since I graduated from kindergarten, which was like years ago? Today is the last day of school, which means starting from tomorrow, two months worth of vacation began. Then, my chances of seeing her will be zero because she doesn't even stay near me; she stayed near my good friend, Jerry, private estate. Fate has enabled us to meet because two days back, because I have been going to Jerry's house and I would only see her at the bus stop. So everything needs to be done today! She is sitting in front of me and my mind is virtually blank, thinking of a good way to start a decent conversation with her. Then, the bus appeared into sight and my set my pulse racing - I am losing my time resources! The bus slowed down to a gradually stop and we both board it. I chose a seat near the back and sat down, watching her walked passed me and sat behind. A wave of uneasiness washed over me as I could even sense her gaze on my back. There was an internal war waging inside me as I am fighting against trying to walk over to introduce myself and to remain rational. Finally our stop came and we got down. She walked at a quickened pace, reckoning that I am stalking her
so late still never sleep ar?' I heard my mum's voice lurking in the background. she sent me a message. I came home quite late and logging onto IRC and yes! She is there. Words like these seemed like healing wards for the day fatigue. but my heart doesn't want to sacrifice this stable friendship for now. Five minutes went by and everything happened as smoothly as any successful mission.I.. Come on Cloud you could do it! OR you are gonna lose this chance forever!? A surge of false strength filled my veins as I ran towards her. She smiled faintly and gosh. Her name is Yukiko. I looked back at her for one final time. she is a half Japanese who came to Singapore to study.. I delivered a light tap onto her shoulder.could get to know you and be your friend?? All the energy in me had expanded in this stuttering sentence I blurted. Hi.. Before I could catch my breathe for walking back home from the bus stop.. I am none of the above. well. 'Cloud. When I came arm length distance from her. Our relation are like good friends now. She turned around. Did I mention knocking onto the lamppost and actually apologized to it? It was two months since I knew her and we have always talk online. which means snow in Japanese ?like her unblemished skin. as if expecting all that would happen and gave me a curious look.behind. we parted. I guess she is gonna skin me alive. Every seconds is slipping passed me and beads of sweats broke out at strategic part of my forehead. We exchanged numbers and I learned that she is not exactly local. you?' 'I waited for you to come online. Maybe because I had never had a girlfriend before and always have this phobia of relationship not lasting behind my head.' Waited for me? Sometimes girls can be such cute little thing. 'Why leh? Miss me ar? HAHAHAHA!' . I was. that nearly sweep me off my feet. Jerry told me to go after her. fair and silky-like.was wondering if I. Watching her gradually moving towards her block is unimaginable.. 'Just came back from school. Jerry said that guys must be sweet talkers and romantic. If my mum knew that I ate in school already. I tried learning to be one.. My face is beginning to blush red with shyness as I waited for any respond. before running and yelling at the top of my voice that I made it. commanding me to finish the leftover food in the kitchen. But when he stressed his point. I can't let this final chance go by! She went through the gate of the estate by now and my mind is in state of desperation. Then she said she had to leave and with a dumb smile reciprocating her sweet ones.
Maybe people involved will find it longer than it seemed to be.? What happen?' 'My good friend just broke up with her boyfriend today. I skip my way to the kitchen. Maybe that's why I have another point of view? But when it comes to myself. but when it comes to relation.' Somehow girls are very affected over things happening to their friends in matters of love. Maybe that's why girls always tell one another about their personal problem? 'Well. I am a counsellor in school and people approach me for all kind of interpersonal relation problem. rant about it. Grinning from ear to ear.' 'I seen them come together and they have been together for 3 months plus. Cloud. I am such a dickhead. thank God about it. Err. they will be together right? Sometimes not being together is a good thing. Guys would normally tell them to move on with their life and stuff.' 'Come on. so I know nuts about it. I have go off for now to eat supper. 'Cloud! You are finally here!' . it means that I can make use of this excuse to catch a movie with her! I am such a fast learner 'Ok! bye bye!' The next thing I see is the 'DISCONNECT' word on my computer. demanded that I finish the food left for me.' 'You say wan ar.?' I always hated it whenever girls corner me with questions that neither YES nor NO is the right answer. you could say that?' 'Then are we fated to know each other.' Three months and you called that long? It's not even longer than a semester. so long. 'If they were meant to be together well. I have never gotten myself a girlfriend.it's getting common isn't it? Relationship are breaking up every now and then. answer you another time. gif me a smile ok? I treat you movie next time.?' Fate to me is like a legend. it seemed that the treating trick always works. I am moody today. 'Cloud. but hey. Couples not suited for each other being force to be together is a painful thing. 'Hey.' 'Really. whereas they would share their pain and sorrow or cry with them.' 'Fate. Hey. everyone talks about it. my mum with her pissed off face come knocking at my door. I see you tomorrow ok?' Well. . that's a good attempt.I know the laughter was just to cover my embarrassment. Just when I am stuck with her questions.
' Don't know what to do? Make yourself happy instead of lingering in this sorrowful event? Sometimes I really wonder if woman are that dumb? Or is it love that is making woman a vulnerable creature? And what makes you think THAT it is love? Woman.I like it! Until maybe when the special one comes along. I am not late. whom you least expected it. grow together. Really?. It is like salt and sugar in cooking. this would be the catalysis to explode my innermost views again. even though are emotional creatures. It is like exposing yourself to danger through speaking. 'Me? What about me?' 'What if something like that happens to you?' 'Er. sexually or physically. People have to get to know and go through more relation before they could realise that who is the right one for them what. I watch TOO much TV. betray the trust you given to them and you will have to go through this series of utter disappointment and sadness.' Well. Without it. 'I don't want to get a gf for the SAKE of getting one.' A Chinese proverb came into my mind . whatever relation will be bland.looked at the clock and it says 10 pm. No. love their lovers. 'Cloud. my good friend tried to patch back with her bf today. They are afraid to be alone . I will also dunno what the do.they WANT someone to walk by them. 'Yah I told her to move on with her life. its meaningless don't you think? Relation nowadays are going nowhere because people just want to be in a relation. in their first love. but she loved him so much and she couldn't believe that he like someone else. then that guy said that he likes another girl.' 'y? something is wrong?' Ok baby. doing stuff together and most importantly. everything will just be a memory of what had taken place. What about you Cloud?' Me? How come the topic is about me now? I always avoid questions whenever it comes to me in revealing my inner self.' All woman loves romance. People. guys of these days are not looking for serious relation. if I am her.' . Be it emotionally. so poor thing. I don't even have a gf. it won't lar. they loved love. I will try my best to be with her. 'She cried you know.Tian ya he chu wu fang cao.' 'Why? Go get one?' . Ok I admit. but he ignore her. in others. after a period of time. rather I am pretty early using IRC entering our usual chat room. I don't mind being alone . Why cry wasted tears over a relation that was never meant to be yours in the first place? Human.
how could cute girls like her possibly stay single? Guys will try all sorts of ways to get her and she would finally succumb to one. my hypnotic statement has hinted her! YEAH! Lets watch movie together tomorrow ok?' Er. HAHAHAHA!' Why is it that I must laugh every time I attempt a MUSHY statement? A lousy cover for my embarrassment.' 'Aww.' I have to leave too.'Oh wait. She showed me the real innocence of a young lady. Cloud you log off first.' She is such a poor liar. 'You make me blushed. during these periods of knowing her.I can't take advantage of her innocence right? 'Cloud. to guide her along.Oh yeah. All hail cupid for the golden opportunity! Ok. but we talk everything else. You are right Cloud. ' From a close defeated battle. I have to go already. that why will also be like that.gone!' . She is too cute to stay single. When you praise a girl pretty. When you say that they look like toilet. its almost 12 and my Cinderella has to leave. '3. I don't want you to see me go. My fingers speed through the keyboard and finally stop at the last word. untainted and pure. Oh @$$@! Have I just ruined my good impression? I discern its time to celebrate with Jerry about my first failure. 'Cloud. I loved to chat with her as she is way so different from all the other girls . he retaliate and bites back.1.she is VERY naïve and this creates an impulse for me to protect her.ok I count to 3 and leave. signalling to my victory of words. saying you look worst. naturally cute and THIS is the reasons that stop me from jioing her . its getting late.' I can't believe I am doing this SILLY business. I have eventually emerge the winner as I continue to chat with her for the next two hours.There was an unaccustomed silence after I type that paragraph.' Hooray!! I could see my happiness on the computer screen. such is mentality of a woman. I had never asked about the background of her family or sort. 'I girl mah. I love the way she is. they would tell you they look ugly. until the special one comes along too. no I am not cute. ok!' My mind was cheering and screaming in rejoice. . Somehow. you say the other time you wanna treat me movie right?' Ok.2. I want to stay single.
She is simply stunning and like a critical hit. Woah. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------It was 8. It is not polite to be late for a date for the first time anyway. It makes them looked. you never know when you gonna get hit by the ball in your face. I waited. its Ok. Her Japanese accent with little tint of singlish that comes along with it. White spaghetti straps top with jean skirts. we made our way to the Cinema. I was stoned watching her coming.40 pm and I was at Starbucks (20 minutes before appointment point) . was weird but comprehendible. Nevertheless. Going out with a girl? I had never been out with one before! Praying at my bedside sincerely that nothing will crewed up on that day. I guess it was just something to start conversation. I am just early myself. after we decide and made purchase for Shallow Hal.' 'So what movie are we watching?. Slipping my favourite ice blended mocha. We chatted for a while . Life is like soccer. more.Jerry told me to soften her up with the conversation as she will most likely be as tense as I am. I bought another ice-blended mocha for her as she said she wanted the same. although horror show seemed like a whole lot better option to me. I sense her presence . 'Sorry I am late. erm.' 'Nah. we will check it out later.Plaza Singapura. I commented on how gorgeous she looked today.the smell. I really meant what I said.' She blushed and I nearly died saying that sentence.' 'It's ok. I can never forget. not the show. What load of crap! As I was trying to entertain myself to relieve some amount of tension in me. After finishing our drinks. I am pro huh? HAHAHA! Smiling at my flippant words. Hey.I couldn't get to sleep on that day. more female. anyway what matter most is who I am watching with. Hiak! . but hey. She looked really shy and reply with a soft thanks. I looked up and saw her smiling and making her way towards me. Gradually. I did not understand what she was saying. she gain comfort from my company and from chatting. the location we suppose to meet. It was comedy show and Jerry said that comedies is good way to remember a first date. totally excited about tomorrow's event. I was daydreaming about today's soccer match I played and started pondering over life issues and soccer. Actually at times (lucky thing it wasn't frequent). especially when she smiled that I have this burning urge to pinch her cheek. At least she won't be crying while watching a sad movie and I had to cheer her up later. she looked so cute. it grew some laughter in it. I simply love girls wearing skirts.
get to know her liao.' She shaped a smile from her lips. I always seen him talking to other passengers. Even though she never really answered my question. 'Because human like to see pretty things? I mean you would like to see good looking guys too right?' 'But good-looking guys don't give me security. I decided to sent her home by bus as I think this is the very least what a guy should do. which was my first fear. without realizing that she is not what he thinks she looked like. laughs and emotions and at the end of the show. the second closest to handsome.' My heart screamed another point of victory. We choose a seat at the far back and sat down 'This driver is always very chatty.' 'Why must guys like pretty girls?' I was momentarily taken aback by a sudden question. 'Boy ar. I am not good looking . that is the real world. just like me laughing whenever I made mushy remarks. while I tried to reassure her that the world was still spinning and it was only a show. I think I am not gonna wash my hair today.I am decent looking.The movie is talking about Hal Larsen. while she giggled uncontrollably.'Cloud. I asked myself and the answer that came up doesn't seemed too good. the ultimate shallow guy. I will appear **** shallow. She blushed and tapped my head lightly. 'What about you Cloud? Do you like pretty girls too?' THIS KIND of question AGAIN? If I said yes. 'Well.' I know that sentence was just to cover her embarrassment.last time you both dunno each other wan right?' It was the bus driver and I nodded in faintly agreement with him and smiled my way through. of course. We walked out of the Cinema and out of Plaza Singapura. not bad ar. The story is a mixture of hearts. I could see watery tears rimming around Yukiko's eyes. I think I prefer. the lead actress came into the picture and he fell in love with her. . you!' My system was undergoing this contained stress and it is making me go nuts every time she throws questions like these to stumble me. Oh man. at the very least she understand the story. do you think there are people like that?' Sure. the same bus 171 where we always take . don't bother about him. Rosemary.We recognized the bus driver. That's why I don't like good-looking guys. cute girls like. 'Don't be silly. but I love her reply. 'Me?' I was trying to buy time as she nodded her head almost immediately. What the hell? Well. Gawd! I need the best of both world answer. He judged woman by appearance and in the end he got hypnotize by this guy who made him sees woman by their character instead of physical beauty. We boarded the bus. If I say no I am lying to myself.
Suddenly. but when is the right time? 'Cloud. I am in LOVE with TODAY. For the next few months. she consulted me and I will be there to give my expertise advice. not again? 'What do you think of me?. someone to be there regardless of whether you two are together . Maybe next time I would. We got down and I insisted in sending her all the way till her block. But the urge to reveal my feeling hasn't reached to such stage for desperation yet. Finally her stop arrived and she had to align. Jerry.I thanked her. It's not good if I am being seen by my neighbours with a guy so late at night you know. Well. every date has to part eventually right? I watched her fade into her estate and until I caught zero glimpse of her. one for me.' I nodded and finally relented. she took the bus tickets I was holding. I have to say something that she wants to hear or forever I will be condemn in her eyes. Am I in heaven? I have nothing to give you. I decide to avoid the question using my avoidance tactics. Noooooooo.' I looked at her origami made from bus tickets and wondered whether I should do something similar.' Oh ! . I appreciate her effort though .someone to guide. Whatever problems she has. peer evaluating time! Even though I speak easily to myself. leaving her all alone. We are like one in-separate-able pair of best friend. we chatted everyday and each time I felt that I am slipping into this pit of angelic darkness called love. 'Cute? And you are a very good friend of mine.finally she is talking more about herself. after all life is too short to spend on one person.' What do you mean that's all? Oh dear. It's ok.' Oh no. I should have just pop the question and leave the thinking to her. she told me she couldn't go out very often as her guardian is very strict . Her parents are overseas working.' 'That all?. I have something to ask you. I know she longs for my company like I longs for hers. the woman's men. Maybe this is what true love is.. I am score an F9 for it. which contribute reasons for her character. said that I am wasting too much time on a single girl. Look away first!' I did as I was told and after five minutes she hold my waist and put her fist onto my hands.. when it comes to expressing to HER. shield and depend. so I made this two heart myself. One for you. .
the effect of TOO much TV. I am beginning to learn the trades of using words.'There is a lot of things in my heart that I feel about you. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------I arrived early as usual. 'Waited long?' 'Only about 5 minutes. waiting for her outside Macdonald patently. she allow me to go out tomorrow.' Ok I have to go offline now. Guess that I have to wait for tomorrow to see her again. I want to let you know that treasure you a lot. But regardless of what is it. Before I could reply with anything. where we could look out towards the roadside. this time about 15 minutes earlier. 'Cloud. she stood in front of me. can we meet for dinner tomorrow?' Another date! Yeah I screamed literally at my computer scream as she is able to go out once more. again.' Phew. . I didn't know how to reply her smile and decide to leave it until she reply me with something else. I noticed her face is getting fairer and whiter to the extend of being pale.' 'Ok. hiak. but in this short span of time. I can't express it out. It seemed that after the episode of knowing her. We went into Mac and sat near the window seats. Maybe she needed a large sum of money. As I looked up. Five minutes went by and I am starting ponder whether I should reply anything. As I was busy throwing impossible scenarios into the pictures to cease my tension. remember don't be so early ok?. we meet at Mac at Parklane ok?' '/me nodded her head. borrow from me and then disappear into thin air. but nevertheless her sparkling eyes never loses its glow. Reckoning about her sudden wanting to meet me suggested motives. But it was for good cause. lucky thing I manage to come out with this marvellous sentence. that's what TV drama always show. with me.' I smiled at her consideration for me. Must be the effect of those skin whitening Japanese beauty product.' My first lie I made to her. 'Sure! What about your guardian? She allows you to go out?' 'Yes. her nick has quit IRC. I feel bad if you have to wait for me.
Why must woman always bring up the topic of fate everytime when it comes to relation of any kind? I nodded my head a little. We spoke nothing. and must be fated that will know each other right?' Fate again. silly. I realize that you are different from other guys that wanted to know me. The first intimate bodily contact I had with a girl back to back. 2 packets of large fries. What you mean?' 'Before those day when you wanted to know me. Sometimes I feel that she is the only person in the world that appreciate what I am doing . I noticed that she was looking at me with such mesmerizing effect that I nearly unbalanced myself 'Cloud. I don't know what was the problem may be.' What? There are other idiots doing the same thing too? Oh well. Less than an instant. why are you so good to me?. I eat anything. It is not much. Somehow. She seemed a little solemn today and I reckoned that if there is anything I could give in to her. considering her lovable nature and attractiveness. just like two hearts melted in one. But then again. Suddenly she position and lean herself on my back with her head facing up. 2 large coke and two boxes of 6-pieces nugget was on the tray as I carried them. Reached in while moment. I looked into her eyes and her eyes seemed to tell me that she may have gone through a lot of in during these period.' She giggled out of a sudden and I wondered what she meant. I must have seen like a pervert or something to you right?. but she always responded. but just nice enough for comfort. I should give in.'What do you want. I am NOT surprised. dumb or whatever!. I was actually getting a little irritated when you stalked me. . I spoke some joke and she giggled a little as we continue to our meals.' You eat anything. We finished our meals and were playing with our straws like little kids. 'Can we go somewhere where I could see the sea?' We took a taxi down to Marina Bay. 'You are my best friend and appreciated it. just revelling in nature's enjoyment. I shall uphold my reputation.' Good? What you mean good? You mean you want me to trick you to bed and after that meet about for sessions like this? Thinking back.' I went to buy for her and decide upon Mac Nuggets Meal as she is a small eater. As we had our little 'fighting'. we got out and walked close to the shores where the waves roar in protest from the raging winds. cute.simple and sincere. The sky is densely clouded and the breezes is strong. looking at the nightly sky. I buy for you. I tried to cheer her up a little as the topic she started were on the emotional side. We sat down side by side and watched the waves continual sweeping up the shores. only ******* guys would do that and being a good guy. till now. but all my mind was telling me was to make her happy . I told myself never would I forget such day.be it stupid.' 'Oh really?.
rolling her vision between the sea and the sky before looking down.' 'Yes of course! I will!. have to go back Japan. Can we still contact through IRC?' I was hoping for a small miracle. it appeared as if it's going to rain soon.' We both got up and walked hastily towards the road in trying to catch a cab. I can't demand her not to leave. but at least I could still talk to her online. but it seemed that maybe she wants to bring out something to tell me and I suspect it is nothing good. 'Cloud. in the present moment.' Like a prick on bubbles.I have decide not to avoid it. she isn't my girlfriend or something.. your parents are over there and they worried for you. my gaze never left hers . little barrier and covers her head. its nothing much. 'Will you come and visit me if I ask you to?. Don't tell me all the fantasy I am having is coming to an end? If this was a dream. Even though I just had a shock from what she had just told me. but halfway through. I. I nodded my head to her question and her gaze move onto the rough sea. It is **** dumb and I don't understand why am I doing such acts . all I thought of is to shield her from the chilling rain as I didn't want her to fall sick. we could chat on the phone whenever we can and I think we better leave now.' The atmosphere is getting intense and to make matter worst. My hands formed a tiny. . I pray that I will never wake up from it. Then. the merciless weather started pouring heavily.' Even though I am fighting inside. I had to put on a brave front. is there something wrong?' She kept quiet. an internal implosion occurred within me.' I looked at the sky and to me. the I could feel a drop of water falling on my skin.' Actually I was wondering why she sobbed. in my mind. would you remember me?. As if a soldier going for war. 'Why? I will never forget you.it won't block the rain from drenching her. it's going to rain. and looked into me. Girls of her age needs their parents to be with them more than friends. Then she stopped leaning on me. I could see a layer of wetness in her eyes. We studied each other gaze for a moment and after what seemed like eternity.. 'I don't think I have computer or internet connection at my house. Well.The sky is beautiful right?. 'I understand. its ok.
Gradually.waiting for THAT day.' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------Boy ar.1. rubbing her arms to gain some heat. we both just walk off to our destination and never look back ok? She nodded and I could see her tears closed to spilling out. Working through last year papers has driven me to the pinnacle of madness. It has been a few months since I last saw or heard from her.' Tomorrow? Did I just hear wrongly? What's the rush? Sometimes.Then.' In my heart. she opened her eyes.?' 'Tomorrow. bringing me the usual examination brain tonic . I think. Pinching lightly to fulfil my long awaited-desire.' I actually managed to smile and kept this mask of mine.' It was close to my June examination and my mum knocked and came into my room. It's terrible! Would you see me off?. If she told me earlier. After the scene at her estate and we promise not to look back at each other. she was in my embrace and I was stroking her soaked hair. reality is extremely cruel .2. but I can't bear to. we were in the cab pretty drenched. but if I were to see her off. like an awaken baby in the morning. I never turn back to even have my last glance. I looked out of my room's window and thought of Yukiko. My index finger teased her dimples a little as she felt tickled and ruffled her head in between my arms and chest All good things must come to an end . I saw a coming taxi driving and I flagged it. this brave front indestructible. perhaps it's better if we keep it this way.Chicken Essence. I told the uncle to wait for a while and got out of the cab with her.' She is right. for some reasons. As I . '3.the cab reached her place and lucky thing. Well. Her eyes were kept closed and my fingers travelled to her cheeks. my feelings would be just like dying patients with the last stage of cancer .heaven makes sport of men. drink this.' The next thing I knew. there is this robust urge of seeing her every second. By the count of three. I gulped down the entire bottle and sat by my study table in my room. there was shelter to her house. I am suppose to tell you earlier. I feel that I already had my last glance when I spoke my last words to her. we should just keep this the last meeting then. the scene would be unimaginable. again. 'When are you leaving then. 'You are so silly Cloud. I told the uncle to reduce the air-con to the lowest and put my arms around her shoulder. It remains on my face emotionlessly and dead. come. My mind and soul won't be able to endure the parting scene.
but no she wasn't. the beach.depart. the movie. Then I scolded her. Yukiko?? Is that you?' I was praying and gripping the phone hard. straws fighting. literally. the cuddle and every other tiny little details. 'Miss me?. I don't mind the duration of her calls . I rubbed my eyes a little and stretched. but I finally succumb to my inner self and wanted to make sure I won't think back and regret on the fact that I never check whether she was online that day. 'Sorry. for not contacting me and making me so worried for her. the unexpected rain.I just wanted to hear her voice so badly. maybe she is busy adapting to her new life. you shall treat me movie the next time I see you. our chats. Boy ar! Your phone!' My phone? At such hours of the night? 'Hello?. how you know it was me?. telling myself not to ponder over past issues as it may affect my exam performance.' . Maybe she lost my number over there.' I smart what! Hey! I never hear from you SO LONG!' I emphasised on the words 'So long' as if I had never heard anything from her for few decades. I controlled myself emotionally and force my tears back to its origin. I can't use the phone here for very long too.' Actually. The first thing I did was to told her to hang on for a moment and screamed at the top of my voice.' 'For making me worried and missing you so badly. I went online that day and see if she was there using another nick. or maybe she has forgotten me? No can't be! How can that be? How can the scenarios that have been taken place be so easily forgotten? The day I knew her. dinner. but I know she has her reasons.' There was no respond. but somehow I had this feeling that it was her. My happiness could not contain inside me and I need to release it. I can't allow such feelings to overpower me. hoping that a miracle could happen. in gentle tone. For a guy's image. Is this piece of dreamland meant to be only a dream? Tomorrow is the beginning of my exam. I went back to my books and paper and continue began working on it. I know it already passed midnight. I don't know why she never contacts me since then. 'How.
From morning till night. determined to do well so that I could psycho my mum to pay for my trip. a letter for you. like all other days. 'Cloud. Then. my mum calls for me and I guess it must be regarding the trip over.' With that a heavy heart our conversation ended as I put the phone down. I tear opened and a letter fell out. although my mind wandered on the thought of seeing her again. I was home. everything is worth it. Before I put down. in amidst of studying.' Huh? A letter for me? I had never receive a letter addressed to me before. I will go over right after my examination next sat. I have been studying non-stop. Cloud. can't talk anymore. Dear Cloud. I was hoping in my heart that time will freeze so that we could chat till the end of time. Curiously. is there anything you want to tell me?. . HAHAHA! We spoke on the phone and talked like old friends and the pressing examination stress seemed to have vanished.' Take lots of care ok? I can't wait to see you soon!' You put down first Cloud. but I love the surprises Cupid has in store for me. she would pay for my tickets. that is when?' Maybe 28 May or slightly later. Yeah I will see her soon! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------'Boy ar. For the sake of going over. provided I give her my words that my results will be good when it is out. I got to go already.' Next sat?. I hurried my revision. I thank you God for giving me this chance!! HOORAY! *Days passed* Finally I am close to finishing my examination . tell me your address.' I jolted down her contacts in Japan and kiss it. doing my revision. My mum says that if I do finish this examination. Regardless. Hehz.I used the same trick again. I don't want you to see me hang up on you. tell me your address?. even though little setbacks filled along the way. I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE! I want to see her so badly and life has been good to me. I examined the envelope and it wrote ' To Cloud' on the front.?' 'Yes? You want me to go over? Ok sure. In preparation for the coming trip to Japan.Yeah.today is the last paper. remember that day when I ask you if you would visit me in Japan and you said you would. examination?.
But then again. not the way you looked. but no wrong liking you what right? You told me you rather wait for the special one. leaving my physical body. I giggled to myself every night after we chatted online and I began to ask myself if I fell in love with you. it means that I am already gone. If there is one thing final question I want you to ask me. I apologise for not telling you everything about myself. My operation begins on 24 May and I will call you maybe a week plus before to fulfil the promise you said you would come over and visit me in Japan. it would be you asking me whether if I like good-looking guys. You said you are not romantic at all.Before I began. Actually I broke the promise. if you receive this letter through mail send by my guardian. I would disappear from the surface of the world and they wants to be with me during this period. During the time when I was cuddling in you. because I feared that I may not have the chance to see you again this lifetime. . I hope that the cab could drive slower because I may not get the chance to cuddle in you again. So I want to tell you that I appreciate your company. I am feeling a little tired writing this letter. in vain. I did looked back. I knew that you are the one. I guess I did. The success rate of this operation is only 30% and anything could happen. everything you did or said. to protect me from the rain today. I know you are putting on a brave front because as a woman I could cry and I know you would be there to console me. leaving my suffering and of course. you are the best a guy could be. leaving this world. In this world. if there is one person I wouldn't want to see crying . No. very much. I love you. at least. I don't like them because I like guys like YOU unique and extraordinary. but to me. that's why I ask you if you would come to visit me if I ask you to. Cloud. but someone has to be the stronger one to console and reassure right? The reasons why I have to go back to Japan is because I am suffering from a rare case of a blood cancer that may claim my life very soon if it is not treated. as I will always be around you. My parents wants me to go back to take a major operation there because if this operation were to fail.it would have been you. You may find a girlfriend by then. or I am already in heaven watching over you. just like Rosemary in the movie we watched together. but I am determine to finish what I had to say. and I told you I will also wait for mine. But do not despair. although you never express yourself to me. shielding you like what you did. By then you would know the truth and I could see you for the last time. I wrote this letter on the night when we parted and promise not to look back. your advices. This distinct character could only be found in you and I want you to kept it that way for I like the way you are. Perhaps it is just one sided.
it arrived. disappointed and regretted beyond words.although this could never happen and thinking of it. I knew something is happening to me. I was rooted to the ground. I was at the verge of mental breakdown. at this time broke from my resistance barrier and roll down my cheek as I saw the date today . 'Nope! She is with me. I was crying. She was waiting for me to pop the question! And I never did! I should have fuc-king listen to Jerry.' .' I smiled at him and pointed to my heart. Clutching tightly onto the heart origami that she made. I waited for the bus and soon. like a baby in crossfire. I should not. I clutched my head tightly as trains of disillusioned thoughts sinks into my mind. 'Eh boy ar. like a drama. why your girlfriend not with you ar?. lying at the mercy of my ill-fated destiny. I recalled that she still owe me a movie treat . I took it and realise that it was the same bus driver again. Decisions. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As expected. I could let her know HOW MUCH she meant to me and how much I loved her.Yukiko Tears I have been fighting back. totally confused and helpless. I should not have delay the trip over. her final days.27 May. all the time. weeping silently to myself for the tears I owe her and for the lack of courage to express my feeling. I sat at the bus stop where I first saw her and every scene replay itself in my mind. I never spoke much because I was hurt. At the very least. most of the times. my results were good. made me sink deeper into this whirlpool of depression. Since that day. totally defeated. Why DIDN'T I LEFT Singapore to Japan? I should have hack care about my examination to be with her. have cruel consequences regardless of which options I chose.
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