Sorry

Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc.
| Fractured Tales Project 2010
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And Sasuke is already free to achieve this same kind of happiness: a sort-ofbeginning where tomorrow he can see sunsets, eat tomatoes, and be normal. But all he wants right now is to return to that damning confinement, as he craves for that steady innocent hope that has kept him alive (someone is waiting for me), than to experience this desolate abandonment. He will never know if it is raining because he feels warm drops on his face even if the sky is clear, all alone with the ecstatic, fortunate pilgrims who are finally united once more. (clear autumn skies, they are very rare, sakura giggles. good omens. itll be a nice day) The shadow of familiar crosses stretches on his gaunt, ashen face. Sasuke. His name feels warm on his nape. His thoughts (her words) are now mercifully silent as the sun finally sets.
Sorry
White is the color of a clean slate.
Hour 1 Everything around him was white. But it wasnt the kind of whiteness that was bright, shining, and almost blinding, not at all. But it wasnt subdued either. It was somewhere in between. There wasnt a plant or animal in sight, nor were there sounds to indicate their own presence. The landscape, if it could even be called that, was bleak, barren, desolate empty. But the void, encompassing as it was, wasnt unpleasant at all. No, it wasnt unpleasant but it wasnt particularly pleasant either. The climate, like all the other aspects of the place, was regulated to the point that it was nonexistentit wasnt hot, nor was it humid, and it surely wasnt cold either. There wasnt even any wind, and he wasnt sure if there was air and if he was still breathing it. There were no colors, just the lack of iteverything was white.
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010
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There was nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to feelthe lack of everything. Nothingness. Nihil. Nil.
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empty.
In fact, if there was one word that could describe the whole place, it would be
Empty, if it wasnt for the long, straight line of souls which spanned to as far as he could see on both ends. It was annoying, really. If he had any choice, he wouldnt have dared a queue as monstrous such as this. But as it was, there really wasnt much he could do but join the long column of waiting people; it wasnt like there was anywhere else to go, anyway. Nowhere else to go but forward. Theres up and down, of course, but he didnt want to think about that. Not yet, anyway. Besides, he had come to understand that if he was to go in any of those other directions, he had to wait patiently for his turn first. Again, not that he was in a hurry He was drawn from his musings when, as if on cue, the line moved. Having no choice in the matter whatsoever, he too moved along with it. Just as he was taking a step forward though, he felt something snag on the sole of his shoe. If he didnt stop himself from stepping forward just in time, he probably wouldve stumbled. As it was, he felt something soft collide into his back. Sorry The voice, undoubtedly feminine, seemed slightly familiar. And if he wasnt in such an awful mood, he mightve even looked. But a line this long could make anyone surly, and he sure wasnt the most patient of people. Not that he wanted the line to end either but Sorry! This time, though, he really did stumble. And to make things worse, his nose collided with the back of the person in front of him, who just happened to be wearing a rather dirty-looking sweater. It was at that moment that he discovered that, albeit muted down, odors still existed in this weird place. Pungent and fetidit was the icing on the cake, the final nail that hit the coffin, the only thing he needed to finally explode. And so it was the owner of the sweater, a middle-aged man who looked as if he was expecting an apology, who got a rather nasty glare instead. Seriously, it was bad enough that he was lining up for something he didnt want. But thisthis was just too much. He whirled around, intent on unleashing hell on whoever was behind him and to at least scare her enough to keep her at a distancepreferably at a distance where she wouldnt step on the sole of his shoe every damn time the line moved. Watch where youre going!
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You dont have to shout at me, mister, I said I was sorry! And it was an accident, its not like I meant to However, his plans were foiled when he felt a finger poking his chest repeatedly. The nerve of the girl, really. Annoyed, he grabbed the girls wrist and looked down. Stop it, you clumsy, annoying What he didnt expect to see, though, was a face he hoped never again to see, a face that made him weak, a face that was looking at him with such complete awe, just as it used to seven years ago. And in his abysmally pessimistic mind, he decided that the day just became ten times worse. He stifled a groan and turned away before she could confirm that it wasnt just her imagination that she saw her Sasuke-kun? Stubbornly, he refused to turn around. This line could go on forever, and he sure as hell didnt want to spend eternity being annoyed by poke. Sasuke-kun? Is that really you? she asked again. Sasuke-kuuun poke. poke. poke. By this time, he was already regretting his rudeness to the one in front of him. He couldve traded places with that guy if Sasuke-kun? poke. poke. Still, he refused to budge, choosing instead to look straight ahead. Like hell, he wasnt going to dig his own grave and turn around. poke. Sasuke-kun? Hey Sasuke-kun! poke. poke. poke. And he wouldve succeeded too, if only he was more tolerant towards being continuously poked. It was annoying. She was annoying. Sakura, stop it. Youre being annoying! But it was only when he said those words that he realized his mistake.
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Ah, so it is you, Sasuke-kun, she said, smiling cheekily at him, her eyes holding a mischievous glint that was never directed at him until that moment. poke. poke. poke. poke. He wondered when and how and why she had shed all that reverence she used to shower him with back when they were children. Because, really, though he hated it back then, he thought it would actually come in handy at that momenta lot. He couldnt, after all, have her treating him so so disrespectfully. But just one look at her, smiling at him with a disarming smile that was full of confidence, he knew the old Sakura was gone. And in her place was a stranger probably an even more annoying one. poke.
Hour 30 Sasuke-kun, according to my watch, weve been here for thirty hours there are 24 hours in a day. They said wed get to the end of the line in a day, Sasuke-kun! Why is it taking too long? He tried to ignore her, only to have her tug his sleeve repeatedly as he did so. Hn. He tried to act nonchalant. But she did have a point. How long was a day in purgatory, anyway? Apparently, it was different from Earths 24-hour a day policy. And was a day in purgatory even a constant value? Because, if it was, what happened during the times when the Earths population was still low? And what happened when the population became millions? Did thehe didnt knowangels, or something, adjust the value of a day as they saw fit? So could a day really mean forever? Not that that was a bad thing. He just hated not knowing what time it was, especially after spending his entire life juggling schedules. Following a new time scheme that nobody oriented him with made him rather anxious. You cant pretend it doesnt bother you, Sasuke-kun. I know youre itching to rant too. Perceptive. In all honesty, he really was tempted to answer her. Ten or so years of being apart apparently made her a much better conversationalist. Oh, sure, she was always smart. But when they were young, she never did grace him with her wit. Whenever she was with him, she seemed to lose all of that intelligence everyone admired, asking for dates and openly flirting, doing things that were beneath her.She even declared her love for him once, stupidly thinking that everything would be okay, that they would live happily ever after if he only stayed with her.
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Not that he doubted her words, of course. He knew her love was genuine, as was her belief that things would work out. But she just didnt know what offering her love to someone like him entailed. It would never work out. Because even if they have the same age, he had felt like he was ten years older than her. It was no surprise either, for she lived a rather sheltered life with her friends and family while he, well, he was just unlucky. She was smart, yes, but she was ignorant and nave as well. She was much too fragile for someone like him. But apparently, things changed. She grew bolder. And he was no longer treated differently from everyone else. The repeated poking could attest to that. Sakura, for the first time in her life (or death), was gracing him with her wit. In fact, she treated him so much like he treated everyone else back then that he had to wonder Did you get over me? The question, unintentional and inappropriate, seemed to daze his companion as she stood there, paralyzed, her mouth agape. Sasuke, on the other hand, deeply regretted his impulsive query but knew that there was nothing he could do to take it back. So, he decided to just stick it out and wait for her to respond. He fixed her to her spot with a stare, making sure that she couldnt avoid giving an answer. roughly. Before he could wrest an answer from Sakura, however, she was shoved forward Move it, kid. Sasuke reached out to steady her, and glared at the person behind her. You dont scare me with that glare, boy. Im already dead, aint nothing else you can do to hurt me. And to that, he had to concede. Getting into a brawl would prove to be rather impractical, not to mention fruitless. He didnt remove his hand from Sakuras shoulder, however, and ushered her a bit closer to him instead. Geez, I dont mean ya any harm. Aint no sense in doing so. The names Hidan, by the way, the man said, slicking his silver hair back with his left hand while extending the other out to them. We dont care, Sasuke answered for the both of them, the tone of his voice still blatantly hostile. Hidan raised both is hands up in a gesture of mock surrender. Fine, I wont bother you.
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With that, Sasuke turned around, placing Sakura in front of him, switching their places in the line. He ignored Hidans derogatory scoff, choosing instead to focus on some point above Sakuras head. Sakura, whose shock had dissipated, became strangely silent. If she wanted to pretend that he never asked her the question, then he was perfectly willing to oblige her. He had a feeling that things were easier that way anyway.
Hour 39 No. The word, spoken after many hours of silence, filled him with a sense of sick triumph. Her answer was clipped and vague. But he knew perfectly well what she was talking about. So she never did get over him. Well, that was nice. Because he never did get over her either. It was only fair Or unfair. After all, he was the one who left her. Not to mention how rude he acted towards her when they were young. She never gave up on him, though. She kept on chasing him, even though she was under the impression that he hated her. He didnt hate her, not really. He just made it seem that way, because he knew that hed leave eventually. But she was persistent. She gave him care and love and all of the things he had lost in that one unfortunate incident during his childhood. She gave him her heart when he had lost his. She kept on giving and giving and giving, hoping that she would earn his affections. And unknown to this oblivious woman, she did earn it. Sakura had him; hook, line, and sinker. It wasnt that he loved her, no. He was Sasuke, he no longer knew how to love. It was more like, he needed her. She never knew though, nor would he tell her. So she kept on giving, and he never gave back. She gave, he took, and the world never gave them a chance.
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But even when he was away, he still took from her. Her memory was his sanity, the only proof that he once had a life, that there was someone who loved him and that he had someone to go to if he ever decided to stop and rest. As long as she loved him, she was his. He had something, someone. And that if she ever moved on was his biggest fear, because then he would really have nothing left. Deep in his heart though, he understood that it would be the right thing for her to do so. He never deserved her. Never. But he knew hed hate her if she did move on, irrational and selfish as it may seem. Hed think of her as a traitor, even when the one who deserved to be called that was no one else but himself. So he clung to it, the knowledge that someone somewhere was thinking of him, waiting for him, loving him. He believed in it, avoided anything that might prove it wrong, thought of it as true despite the implausibility. He was right. I never did. She sounded despondent and defeated, well, it didnt matter. Old habits die hard he learned long ago to appreciate what he could have. Life was a matter of taking what you could and holding on to what you have. And if he still had her heart, then it would be enough. Never mind if it was reluctant and morose. He smirked. Good. He spoke the words in the same way one would when complimenting a student. And hearing her mumbled complaints afterwards only made him smirk wider. with it. The line moved, and with feet that suddenly seemed heavier, he moved along
Hour 40 "I wonder how much longer it will take." He heard her say, impatience palpable in her voice. "Why are you so excited anyway?" he asked, one brow raised. He'd have thought everybody would be nervous on the eve of the final judgment. It just wasn't normal to be... excited. doctors. As a response, Sakura gestured at her coat, which he just noticed to be that of a
Just because youre a doctor doesnt mean youve got a sure ticket to heaven, he said, indignant at her cocky confidence. It didnt help at all that she was so optimistic about something he was pessimistic about.
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Oh but Sasuke-kun, I went pro-bono, she said cheekily, not that it matters much, anyway. God is said to be merciful, youll see. So, many people will be able to make it into heaven even if they havent been particularly perfect. I guess he forgives anyone as long as they didnt do any major sins. The moment those words flew out of her mouth, Sasuke felt his stomach drop. For a moment, he felt a deep resentment for Sakura. She was little miss perfect when they were children, and as far as he knew, she didnt change one bit. Nobody liked know-it-alls. But he did. What others hated about her was always what he loved about her. And even as he looked at her, standing with a smug grin on her face as she held her white coat, his resentment gave way to some deep admiration. A pro-bono doctor, now that was something. He always could count on her to be better than the rest. Contrary to her belief, it wasnt her forehead that garnered all the hatred of her classmates. No, it wasnt even that large to begin with. The reason was Sakuras tendency to be always a step ahead. She wasnt prone to making the same mistakes they did. She seemed rather immune to the folly of childhood; always being prim and proper, hand always the first to be raised for recitation, homework always done and always perfect, projects always stellar and always on time, uniform always immaculate. Her only flaw was that underneath all her bravado, she really had little confidence in herself. And all the things she did to improve herself was actually the product of that deep-seated insecurity. Compensation was her bosom buddy. And that insecurity only grew as more people started teasing her. It was a huge irony, really, that the only thing her enemies had succeeded in doing was making Sakura a winner and themselves losers. Her enemies pushed her into perfection. But he pushed her into imperfection. The only moment in her life that she had failed him and fallen to mediocrity was when she fell in love with him. She pined for him like everyone else. He supposed it shouldve made him feel special. But he knew her, perhaps better than anyone else. And he knew that all her chasing and stalking was never really about him. It was about her rivalry with Ino. It made him feel used. It was only later, much later, when she found out that life wasnt all peaches and cream, that it became about him. But by then, he had long since fallen for her, albeit reluctantly. This made him resent her, making him excessively rude towards her. Feh! Youre a fool, he snapped, completely meaning it, but not in the way she wouldve thought. By the look on her face, she seemed to be waiting for him to expound on his insult. And when she saw that he wasnt about to indulge her, she just started chattering about another subject.
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Perhaps she had shed her insecurities while he was away and the opinions of others, him in particular, didnt matter as much to her anymore. Funny how he didnt like how she came closer to perfection for it.
Hour 126 He had long since lost track of how much time they had spent in purgatory and Sakuras wristwatch had long since stopped working. As it was, they were trudging through, feeling not an ounce of tiredness, but a whole lot of boredom, and Sakuras incessant talking wasnt helping at all. It only made him feel like there was a bee buzzing in his ear. and then the second guy said, Are you crazy? Youllahh, Sasuke-kun, are you still listening? No. Ah, youre no fun, said Sakura, a small pout adorning her face. She never did like it when he ignored her. Anyway, if you dont want to listen to my stories, then maybe you can think of something to pass the time, Mr. Genius. cuz Im certainly out of ideas, she finished with a huff, her arms crossed in front her. How about we actually try silence for once, hm? In response, Sakura merely huffed once more and turned further away from him. So she was angry, so what? She never could stay mad at Hey, do you remember that time when Sasuke stared at her pointedly. Sure he expected her to forgive him, but not that fast. He thought it would buy him at least a few minutes of silence. Mooouuu Im just bored, Sasuke-kun. Cant you indulge me? I mean, look at this place, its different from the world we used to live in. We dont even have any notion of what time means here. We have no responsibilities at all, nothing to do but wait. Honestly, Im not even sure if there really was a past and if there really is a future. For all we know, this line, this could go on forever. And what we thought to be our past was only a dream and II just dont know, Sasuke-kun. Honestly, Im a bit scared. Her words, rambling though they may have been, actually struck a cord within him. He had never thought of it that way. True, this world, for all its monotonous stability, was virtually alien to him and he was therefore quite uncertain. One thing he was sure about, though, was that this white-washed worldpurgatorywas certainly a lot better than the one he had left. On earth, there had been nothing for him but grief and misery. All he had was a lifetime of turmoil, wrong-turns, terrible luck, personal demons
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In purgatory, however, he had nothing, nothing at all, but Sakuras nonstop babbling. He had no responsibilities here, no duties, no revenge plots to carry out; he had nothing to do but follow the line. Perhaps it was a place where he could finally let go And then, as if he had a sudden epiphany, it hit him: maybe he should. When what? Whahuh? Sakura asked, confusion written all over her face. You asked me if I remembered that time. What about it? Inwardly, he sighed contentedly. She always did look pretty when she smiled.
Hour 140 He had never been good at conversations. As a kid, he was trained never to speak until spoken to. And as an adolescent, he mostly avoided talking to people at all. And having an extreme distaste for people didnt help much, either. It was only now when he was actually swapping inane ideas with Sakura without any pressure and without the guilt of dallying when there was always something else to do that he actually found the merits of interacting with another human being. It was sort of fun. The cure for cancer and the cure for AIDS just another decade of research and humans wouldve discovered it Space explorationthat wouldve been the next focus. Who cares about cancer or AIDS? Given another thirty years, humans wouldve sent probes or maybe even primates as far as Alpha Centauri and we would have been zooming through the solar system in high-tech space ships, having already colonized Io. He moved his palm around in a rough imitation of a space ship, suddenly feeling like a kid again, loving the look of sheer fondness on Sakuras face. She looked as if she was falling in love all over again, falling for this side of him that she had never seen before, a side which was hidden long before he had met her or Naruto or Kakashi. He couldnt even remember the last time he acted this goofy or even the last time he merely thought about outer space, which was his obsession during his childhood. He had wanted to be an astronaut. The grim reality of how much had been taken from him because of that one unfortunate incident came crashing down on him in the form of the ease by which he now
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held himself, and the sense of freedom which simply saying things like spaceship and Io granted him. Being happy was painful. Sakura frowned in concern, noticing his change of mood. Space travel is so... ugh I still think cures, vaccines, for the deadliest diseases wouldve been focused on, Sakura said tentatively, her argumentative tone sounding a bit forced. Sasukes throat felt constricted and he felt like lashing out, resenting her for all the things she had that she probably took for granted, unjustly hating her for the same reason he had during those wobbly first stages of their friendship. But the feel of her small hand taking hold of his, silently giving him comfort, it couldnt make him hate. Spaceships are way cooler than vaccines, Sakura, he said, his voice a bit strained. It was difficult to speak, but he managed. And that simple statementthat small step It felt like a giant leap for him. He was mending.
Hour 155 His visual acuity was always a perfect 20/20; he could always see farther than anybody he knew. The uncanny ability even earned him the nickname eagle during his stay with theno, he promised himself he wouldnt think of that. He wouldnt. Not here. Not anymore. then Hinata actually whacked him on the head with a ladle. Can you imagine poor Narutos surprise when he faced the normally shy Hinatas wrath? That was quite a sight andSasuke-kun He tore his gaze away from the structure that loomed ominously in the distance and looked at Sakura. The sight of her, with her head cocked to the side, a contemplative expression gracing her face, drained him of the sense of foreboding he felt when he saw the structure. He wouldnt worry not yet. Hed give himself a chance first.
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Hour 182 Sakura, I never knew you wanted to be a doctor. She turned towards him then, seemingly surprised that he had asked her a question, a question about her, no less. It was unnerving. After all, it was always her who initiated the conversations. The times when he did actually talk to her first were when he needed to ask a question relevant to school, or when he needed something from her. So thisthis was relatively new. And it annoyed him. Because the way she was looking at himas if he had grown a second head was insulting. Had he really been that much of an ass? Probably. Either way, he was already trying his best, and the least she could do was cooperate. I said, I never knew that you wanted to be a doctor, he repeated, unable to conceal a hint of irritation in his voice. He expected her to go on another self-righteous speech about helping people and going pro-bono and saving third world countries and such. He wasnt exactly looking forward to it, but he didnt know what else to ask her in order to jumpstart a conversation. He was, after all, relatively new to being social. I didnt, she answered offhandedly. His eyes widened at her reply. He never expected her to be so blunt. And he hadnt expected an answer like that either. He watched her as she fiddled with the collar of her coat, her expression pensive. She was biting her lipa sure indication that she was thinking of something serious. pressed. He waited for her to elaborate, but when she didnt seem inclined to do so, he Why? The look on her face clearly meant that he didnt wish for him to continue his interrogation. For a moment, he wondered if he should just oblige her and change the topic. She was obviously uncomfortable. Unfortunately, her discomfort only served to make him more curious. And he was no martyr. Why? he repeated. What has gotten into you, Sasuke-kun? Why are you so inquisitive and persistent? Honestly, its like youre the annoying one now an
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I wouldnt be so persistent if you just tell me the answer. Why did you not want to become a doctor? Tell me. Sakura Because I wanted to be something else, she said with a huff. She glared at a spot on the ground, refusing to meet his eyes. What? She glared at him then, obviously annoyed at his persistence. Youre unbelievable, Sasuke-kun. Cant you see that I dont want to answer your questions? And to think I was actually happy that you asked me something. Geez, what a let down. I cant believe I spent all those years waiting for you to talk. If only I knew how annoying you could be when you actually did talk, I Sakura, are you hiding something? He smirked, a little surprised that he actually sounded playful. Then again, he was already dead, he supposed that would make changes inevitable. But he had a feeling that he wasnt really changing, only reverting to what he wouldve been had he been a bit luckier in life. INo! No, of course not! Its just that Then answer my question. What was it that you wanted to be? She flushed, her cheeks reddening like a ripe tomato. Amused, his smirk only grew wider. Answer my question, Sakura. A few moments of silence passed before she finally made up her mind. She sighed, resigned. When she spoke, her voice was laced with bitterness. A housewife. His housewife. That he was secretly pleased with her answer and its unspoken implications, hed never tell heror anyone, for that matter. Hell, he could hardly even admit it to himself.
Hour 208
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It took a while for the muscles in his face to relax, to let go of that perpetual scowl. Something told him that the muscles he used for smiling had atrophiedif that was in any way possible. But eventually, he managed to do it, even if it was only a garbled version. Either way, it was the happiest hed felt in years. It was ironic, but being with Sakura in Purgatory brought a whole new dimension to the term better off dead. A chance at happinessthat was what she gave him. It made him wonder what it wouldve been like had he taken this chance when it was first offered to him, when it wouldnt have been bittersweet just sweet. If he had just let go of the demons Maybe he couldve finished college with her. He couldve held her hand and asked her to marry him and she wouldve said yes. They couldve rented an apartment, lived together, grew up together, start a family together. He wouldve gone home to a sickeningly sweet yet undeniably satisfying domestic scene with her in a frilly pink apron welcoming him home with a kiss; hed smile at her, not one of the messed-up ones he could make now but a real one, teeth showing and all. And then hed collapse on an easy chair, dead tired from the days work, maybe even complain about his co-workers a bit, and shed massage his temples soothingly, and You know boy, they say the fires of hell are black and that theyre never doused, no matter what you do. They just keep on burning and burning, and the pain will never ever end, and every minute you spend in hell will be like dying a thousand deaths. and then reality came in the form of Hidans uncouth drawl and dumped him into a pail of ice cold water. Only, it wouldnt really have been water, would it? It wouldve been the exact opposite.
Hour 213 Hey Sasuke-kun Hm? He watched her, one brow raised, as she stared at their intertwined hands nervously. Uhm, I noticed that weve been holding hands for quite a while now uhm Her hold on his hand tightened, and his eyes narrowed into slits as he wondered where she was going with this.
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Well, uhm, I was thinking well, in truth, I didnt want to ask you this because I was afraid that youd let go if you noticed. I mean, I know how much you hate public displays of affectionnot that Im sure its affection, Im not even sure if you like meand I dont want to be assuming but Sakura, get to the point. Her cheeks started reddening and her rambling only became worse. Sasuke had to keep himself from sighing in exasperation. He could tell that whatever she was about to say meant a lot to her. Well, I... uhm, Im sorry. Okay, I just think our hands Sakura Oh right, sorry. Its just Ia Remembering Narutos surprisingly sensible advice about dealing with girls, he squeezed her hand in encouragement. Instead of being grateful though, as he expected, Sakura only looked at him as if he had really grown a third head. Thoroughly insulted, he growled and tried to tug his hand away. Sakura wouldnt let him, however, and held on to him with both hands, resolution evident in her eyes. Sasuke-kun. Oh well, being considerate and romantic didnt work the way he expected it to, but at least it got the job done. Ive noticed that weve been holding hands consistently for quite a while now. Does this mean that were together now?" He blinked. Once. "I mean, boyfriend-girlfriend together? Twice. That was not what he had expected. It was a rather stupid question too. Wasnt the answer already obvious? He looked at Sakura again, wondering whether or not she really was serious, a derisive comment already at the tip of his tongue. But with only one look, he knew she was serious about this. She really needed to know. The thought both amused him and made him feel guilty. Do you want us to be? he asked. Her eyes widened, and for a moment, she looked very surprised. She looked down at their hands again, seemingly afraid to meet his eyes now. Her grip had slackened and he didnt like it.
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She didnt give her answer at once. He couldnt deny that in his heart, he too was starting to become insecure. He suddenly felt very angry at himself for letting his guard down. Would she deny him? No, she still loved him he knew that, he trusted her, she wouldnt hurt him, would she? But then, why wasnt she speaking, was she having doubts? Did she realize that she didnt love him after all? Hating the uncertainty, he pressed. Sakura Sasuke-kun Iyes, I want us to be together that is if youll have me. This time, it was his turn to be surprised. He didnt know that she still had those insecurities. Besides, if there was anyone who should feel inadequate and undeserving here, it was him. Good, he said, letting go of the breath he didnt know he was holding. Good, he repeated. She beamed at him and he couldnt help but feel painfully undeserving of her gratitude. But Sasuke-kun, you do realize that were dead, right? So in a sense, is it really possible be together when were technically both corpses and will it be necrophilia if we Sakura. Yes, Sasuke-kun? Shut up. Make me? Ill let go of your hand. Dolt. You were supposed to make me shut up by kissing me. He raised a brow at her and pretended to pull his hand away, but she caught it before he could do so completely, and held on to it so tightly it almost hurt. Alright, alright, Im shutting up, geez. Then she smiled at him, so dazzling and loving and grateful that it made his stomach churn and his gut twist. He didnt deserve her at all.
Hour 266
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He remembered nights, several nights, when he would just sit on the floor, cradling the bitter memories in his head, making sure he never ever forgot, making sure he wouldnt smile. Smiling was dangerous. It meant contentment. And he shouldnt be content, not while his familys murderer was still running free. No, he had to wallow in his misery. He had to. He needed to. So, he kept on reminding himself of the painreliving the memories, over and over again, reveling in his solitude, making a special effort to push everyone away. He knew hed lose sight of his goal if he didnt. Time dulled everything, after all, even the pain of losing a family. And having a make-shift family only served to hasten the salving. So he pushed them away, all those who offered, he pushed them away with harsh glares and cruel words. His strategy worked well enough with most people. But some were persistent. Eventually, he found himself a potential mentor, a potential best friend, and a potential wifethe makeshift family he was dreading. He only had to reach out and they would be his. He never did reach out. But with them, he didnt have to. So when his memory of that unfortunate night became hazier and hazier to the point that he had to remind himself every single night of how much it hurt, when he started catching himself letting out a small smile all too often, when he got into thinking about building a new future and just letting go, he started getting scared. He needed to keep his focus, he had to avenge his true family. But how could he when all his bad memories were so old and his new ones were all sunshine and rainbows? He was always smart, so the answer, plain as day, came to him soon enough. He needed new memories new sources of pain, new reasons to hate. He needed them if he wanted to reach his goal. So he left. He left study dates on Friday nights, and lunches at Ichiraku, and philosophical debates and beer. He left love and friendship and his last shot at happiness. He left them all behind, he left Naruto, he left Kakashi he left her, Sakura. He never needed any more reminding after that. Though, he had to admit, his plan worked quite well. Maybe even too well.
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Everything, everything needed for his revenge anyway, became rather easy. Murder, maiming, kidnappingeverything became easy. These acts became just as mundane as well, taking a bath or using the johns. In fact, he got so good at it that he rose in the ranks of the criminal underground with relative speed and ease. It was only a matter of time until he found Itachi. However, as it turned out, Itachi wasnt really the culprit, after all. It was like a poorly written plot twist, only worse, because it was real. But revenge was like a drug, he had to have it. So he pursued it, relentlessly and with as much zest as before, maybe even more: thus, his little alliance with the Akatsuki, a rebel group that was hell-bent on overthrowing the government. And with the joint efforts of Madara and Sasuke, Akatsukis little skirmishes and raids soon turned what used to be a small insurrection into a full-blown civil war. A civil war which caused the deaths of thousands and thousands of innocent civilians. Sasuke. Oh yes, the government was going down, and it was all because of him, Uchiha
Use the principle of transitivity and youll have this: thousands and thousands of innocent civilians died because of Uchiha Sasuke. But it didnt matter, not really, not to him. He was a man with a mission. He had to have his revenge. Then one day, the world ended. They were going to do a bombing that day, one that would trigger a series of events that would render them, the Akatsuki, victorious. Trip the light fantastic, Pain had said in that eerily fanatical voice of his as they watched Deidara press the button. The bomb exploded properly, exactly according to plan. What they didnt count on, however, was that there would be a far bigger explosion, one that made their little act of terrorism seem like a puny joke. Their story didnt even make it to the 6 oclock news. How could it when the TV station had turned into a pile of rubble, just like the rest of the city? Osaka had been hit by a meteor. The apocalypse had started. The red sky and the ocean of bloodthey came alive, and every other living thing succumbed to the shadow of death.
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It was the biggest massacre since the holocaust. And the entire human race fell as its victim. Sasuke, ever the cynic, believed that the afterlife was a hoax. For him, it was just something people believed in so that their lives would have some small semblance of meaning. He believed that the Bible belonged in the Fiction section of the library, along with the works of Tolkien and Asimov. The idea that an old man, who sported a long snowy beard and wore a pristine white robe, had the power to cast him into the fire or to promise him a blissful eternity was, to him, totally absurd. Of course, he was promptly proven wrong when he woke up in Purgatory. And so here he was, holding the hand of the girl he had left all those years ago, very much in-love and hating every minute of it, staring at the tall gates which held what would be his own undoingan old man who sported a long snowy beard and wore a pristine white robe. Sasuke-kun, the Gates of Heaven look rather pretty, dont they? He didnt answer her. After all, how could he tell her that the Gates of Heaven looked too much like a garrison for him?
Hour 278 Oi, you. poke. Seriously, what was it with poking and the people in purgatory? Did he have a sign on his back that said poke me or was he just perfectly poke-able? Oi, Im talking to you. What! The man, Hidan, gestured to him furtively, inviting him to listen to gossip. Reluctantly, Sasuke leaned in. Hidan then cupped his hands and whispered into Sasukes ear. Youre selfish. Sasuke grimaced, thoroughly annoyed. He wasnt in the mood for any petty squabbles. Sighing, he straightened up and glared at Hidan. Tell me something I dont know, he said, turning away once again, determined to just ignore the insult and go on with his lifeor rather, afterlife. I know that you were in Akatsuki, and if you dont want me to tell her, I suggest you be nicer to me.
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He stiffened, unsure of what to do. I dont know what youre talking about, he lied. The man simply laughed at him. Dont bother lying, boy, I was in Akatsuki once too. I know where youre goingin fact, I think well be going there together. Though, from what I gather, she doesnt know that yet. What do you want? Nothing. Besides, its not like you have anything to give me Well, except perhaps your soul, but now that I know that I picked the wrong religion, I dont think it matters to me anymore so yeah, you dont have anything to give me. Sasuke gave the man a derisive look. This unexpected development was beginning to make him uneasy. He glanced at Sakura furtively, just to make sure she wasnt listening. She was engaged in a conversation with the guy he bumped into earlier who, as it turned out, was actually a doctor as well. Satisfied, he turned to Hidan once again. Then why are you doing this? he asked, unable to stop himself from voicing the question out. It was unthinkablethat bad luck would follow him even as he pursued his last taste of happiness. I dont like you. The incredulity of what was happening struck him speechless, and he just gawked at Hidan with disbelief written all over his features. Hidan took this as a sign to continue. Youre very stupid, youre setting yourself up for a tragedy and you know it. Sasuke gritted his teeth, knowing that what Hidan spoke was true, yet not wanting to acknowledge it. And youre taking her with you. He didnt have anything to say to that so, he didnt. So what if he was selfish? He was going to hell anyway, what difference would a few more sins make? He was only trying to get as much happiness as he could. After all, he had been so deprived of it when he was on Earth, and it looked like he'd be deprived of it again on the place where he was going. It was only in purgatory that he could actually be happy. After all, drowning men would always take one last greedy gulp of air before succumbing to the deep blue. Hed take what he could. It was only practical. Although, was it really fair to pull others down for that one last gulp?
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Some small part of him was telling him that it was his own fault that he wasn't happy on Earth. He could've had it, he only had to reach out, but he never ever did. So would it really be fair? Hell, who was he kidding? He killed men for even less. So what if he was setting Sakura up for a tragedy as well? If her tears were what he needed for that last gulp, then hed milk her eyes for what theyre worth. He didnt love her anyway. He was Sasuke, he no longer knew how to love. I dont love her.
Hour 365 Sasuke-kun, youre being unusually quiet or rather, you were being unusually talkative, and now youre back to normal. He heard her giggle, a futile attempt to lighten the mood. He didnt want to laugh, he couldnt. She was up next. Sasuke-kun, youre nervous, arent you? Hn. He didnt answer her, he was too busy hating her for the simple fact that shed leave him. But it wasnt her faultwhen was it ever? It was always him, him, him. I-Im nervous too, Sasuke-kun. Hey, talk to me He suddenly wished that he didnt trade places with her earlier. He wouldve had an easier time walking away from herhe was used to it, after all, walking away. But now he had to watch her, he had to watch her walk away from him. But would she leave him, would she still walk away if she knew that he wouldnt follow? The selfish side of him wanted to find out and it was the side that was winning. Next, a voice called from the gates of the fortress. Sasuke-kun, theyre calling me now, IllIll see you on the other side, okay? Again, he didnt answer her, didnt even look at her. He never lied to her before, and he wasnt about to start. Sasuke-kun II have to go She tugged on his hand, trying and failing to get his attention.
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Next, the voice repeated, an impatient air to its tone. IllIll see you, okay? Love you, Sasuke-kun. She waited for him a bit, but pulled her hand free, gave him a small hug, and turned away when the voice called once more. Sasuke immediately felt the loss, his own hand empty and desolate, growing colder as she walked farther away. Hed miss her warmthhed miss her, hed miss her so much. He shouldve returned the hug, he shouldve Sakura He called, his voice cracking. Hed tell her Hed tell her and shed know that he wouldnt be able to follow and shed stop and stay with him and he wouldnt be alone, hed drag her down with him, he didnt, he didnt need to be alone anymore, she would, she would go with him if he asked, she loved him, shed go to hell for him, she She looked at him, eyes questioning and expectant and warm. God, hed never see those eyes again, never see her again, never never. Unless, he stopped her. He would. He would because he craved to Yes, yes, he knew she would suffer and she deserved so much better, but she would suffer, choose to suffer if he asked her to. Stay with me, he'd ask her, and she would. He didnt love her anyway, he didnt love her, but he needed her. Hed take heaven away from her. Hed take her with him. He just needed to ask Thank you. Goodbye. He clenched his fist, trying to keep as much of her warmth as possible. He looked at her, desperately, longingly, trying to imprint the last memory hed have of her into his mind. Hed need it for the eternity to comethe memory of Sakura, smiling at him. A warm, warm Sakura, smiling at him, loving him And hed never see her again. Never. Ill see you, Sasuke-kun.
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Sorry, Sakura. Sorry. God, it hurt. He closed his eyes, not wanting to watch her walk away, trying to see her last smile in his minds eye. His throat felt parched, and his heart was clenching painfully, and he even suspected that he was cryinghe couldnt even remember the last time he criedand it was shameful, but he didnt care. It hurt so much He smiled, smiled through the tears and the pain, he smiled. Goodbye. The line moved. *** She watched as another soul flitted into paradisea small girl gasping at the sheer magnificence of the misty citadel that lay in wait beyond the gargantuan gates. Paradise probably was a beautiful place. But she wouldnt know. After all, she never bothered to really look. She never did bother to enter the gates. Arent you going to come in? An old man sitting behind a massive oak desk asked her. He was packing up, she noticed. He capped his ink bottle, pocketed his quill, and closed his voluminous notebook, doing so with a satisfied weariness. Isnt there anyone else? She asked worriedly. The old man shook his head sadly, not meeting her gaze, and Sakura felt her heart drop. He wasnt going to come. Oh. Was all she said. She moved to the very edge of the precipice, ignoring the mist swirling around her feet. She looked down into the abyss, the black nothingness, and trembled. Young lady. The old man called out to her, concern evident in his voice.
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Hell isnt a kind place, young lady. I know. She answered. It isnt possible to return to heaven once youve left. Sakura turned and took a long lingering, contemplative look at the majestic citadel behind the gates. Then she looked at the old man in the eyes, a sad smile adorning her face. This isnt heaven. A light breeze caressed her skin as she turned away from what shouldve been her home, her flimsy white gown fluttering as she took a single step forward. She was falling.
Stillborn Sighs
kiss.
Those lovely red rockets had found him and were swooping in for a last, fatal
Sasuke sprinted forward, felt the muddy rumble collapse and twist under his left leg. There was a sudden, sick jerk of the bone shifting, the broken pieces grinding together, and then a splitting ache shot like acid up his skin, spiking. He swore, toppling to the ground, as the machine gun slammed lung-crushingly into his chest, winding him. Sasuke coughed and spat red, struggled onto his elbows and shoved himself inelegantly forward, while clawing desperately at the rim and tumbling, adrenaline throbbing against the back of his eyes, into the shelter-hole. Around him, the battleground exploded, acid rain and dirt and wicked rusts of metal tearing across his body. His leg was bursting with a bomb of its own, and pain was the color of absolute black. He fell into it, shaking. *** Someone tapped his shoulder hesitantly. Sasuke stirred, peeled back his eyes, and tried to blink away the blindness. She came carefully into focus, features lovingly familiar, her eyes carrying all the home he needed. Oh, good. Sakura sighed shakily. There were dirty crescent moons under her fingernails. She touched his forehead with her lips, leaving a lipstick mark in blood. He

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Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc.

| Fractured Tales Project 2010

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