Boston Marriages: The Unfolding History.

By Adekunbi Adeyinka Terressa Gamble Tonya Reed Lisa Wilson

Boston Marriage is a term that was developed during the 19th century. It referred to the act of two unmarried females in a monogamous relationship residing under the same roof. The women were self supported; they split the house household bills, and living expenses amongst themselves. On occasions they may have even shared the same bed but no evidence ever supported the notion that the relationship was sexual in nature. Although Boston marriages could be defined as homosexual, they could also simply involve the mutual expression of romantic tendencies (Smith & Perry, 2006).This relationship was highlighted during the Progressive era in United States and ultimately affected the perception same sex relationships in the United States today. The Progressive Era was a period of reform that flourished from the 1880s to the 1920s. During this time period there were many changes in the lives of women. The public and the press coined a phrase the New Woman (Reforming Their World: Women in the Progressive Era, 2007). The New Woman was young, college educated, active in sports, interested in pursuing a career, and looking for a marriage based on equality (NWHM, 2007). College educated women began to delay marriage during this period. Some professional women chose not to marry, instead established long-lasting and loving partnerships with other women with whom they shared property and living expenses (Perry & Smith, 2006). Many middle- and upper class women were graduating from college and entering whitecollar professions. A few women excelled as lawyers, doctors, journalist, and scientists (NWHM, 2007). Young professional New Women made careers within the reform movement, as settlement workers, social workers, and public health nurses (NWHM, 2007). For such women, Boston marriages were preferable to a traditional marriage in which bearing children and maintaining a home would have limited their careers and progress (Smith &Perry, 2006).

But today, the term Boston marriage does not apply to the definition of this type of relationship. In todays society an individual who partakes in this type of relationship is considered a gay man or a lesbian. Apart from that change, this type of relationship is no longer generally a secret, gay and lesbians are now seeking public recognition and approval of their committed relationships. Lately there have been many changes for same sex couples as far as for marriage, and couples rights. According to a survey conducted by Public Agenda for Citizens (2010) it was said about half of Americans now say that homosexuality should be considered an acceptable alternative lifestyle, compared to only one in three people twenty years ago. At the same time, though, the surveys indicated that Americans have mixed feelings about how far the government should go in codifying rights for gays and lesbians (Public Agenda for Citizens, 2010). The social construction theory that best summates the changing gender and marriage roles is the social learning theory developed by Albert Bandura. The social learning theory suggests that learning new behavior or information through observation and imitation of others. It suggests that girls learn how to be feminine and boys learn how to be masculine in two major ways (1) They receive rewards or punishments for specific gender role behaviors, and (2) they watch and imitate the behaviors and attitudes of others- particularly the same-sex parent (Bandura, 1989, 2000). Thus, a child socially learn what it means to be male or female. This suggests that girls are rewarded for following the traditional path of a woman, which is that of child-bearing and home making. This behavior is accepted and rewarded by society, and thus reenforced as a good behavior. Anything contrary to this is punished and snuffed out. Today many individuals attribute negative attitudes towards gay and lesbian couples; they feel its a sin for same sex couples to be together. These individuals are mostly right-winged

politicians who believe that the biblical definition of a relationship is between a man and a woman. Those who are against same sex couples and marriages feel that the government is allowing same sex couples to destroy the true definition traditional marriage. The topic of same sex marriages is such a controversial issue because people have mixed feelings about the subject. Public Agenda for Citizens (2010) stated that many Americans, including prominent religious and political leaders, oppose granting legal recognition to same-sex couples, saying it would mark a fundamental shift in the definition of marriage. They say marriage between and a man and a woman sanctifies the creation of new life and establishes the cohesive family unit necessary for any stable society. Supporters say marriage is a fundamental right under the Constitution and that denying its benefits to homosexuals is discriminatory (Public Agenda for Citizens, 2010). Many supporters believe the government should stay out of personal issues such as marriage because whom an individual chooses to get involved with is not a matter for public policy. Many gay and lesbian couples feel they should have equal rights to marry the person they love. Most same sex couples feel they shouldnt have to wait on the government to make the most important decision of their lives. All they really want is the opportunity and right to make decision on their own that would impact their family livelihood. All in all, the evolution of the concept Boston marriage into the very public subject that it is today demonstrates that evolving mindsets and attitudes of the public towards same sex relationships and public policy.

Reference Perry, E., and Smith, K., The Gilded Age and Progressive Era: A Student Companion. Oxford University Press. 2006. Pg. 210-211. Gay Rights, Public agenda for Citizens (2010). Retrieved October 11, 2010, from
www.publicagenda.org Huffamn, K. Psychology in Action. John Wiley & Sons, INC. 2007. Pg. 528-536. www.nwhm.org?online-exhibits/progressiveera/home.html:2007

http://womenshistory.about.com/od/bosmarrmamet/Boston_Marriage_David_Mamet_Play.htm http://marriage.about.com/od/lifestylechoices/g/bostonmarriage.htm