INFLUENTIAL FACTORS ON VIETNAMESE WOMENS RIGHTS TO SEXUAL ENJOYMENT

Nguyen Thi Thu Huong Melbourne, September 2005

Dear Dr. Anthony Marcus,

I am writing this letter on your request to remind you that you agreed to grant an extension of four days for this assignment of mine when I called you last Monday. The reason why I kindly asked you for an extension was because I have been sick for the last ten days.

Thank you very much for your understanding and sympathy.

With best regards, Your student, Nguyen Thi Thu Huong.

Abstract: The promotion of sexual rights for women as part of the process to improve womens life and gender equality has spread across the world. In Vietnam sexual rights started attracting attention from development projects, but are mainly included under the reproductive health and rights, with the ignorance of the rights to sexual enjoyment. This paper examines the current socio-cultural settings, economic conditions and political and legal context of Vietnam to clarify how those factors affect Vietnamese womens rights to sexual enjoyment. The paper concludes that despite general policies supporting womens advancement and gender equality, Vietnamese women have very limited rights to enjoy sexual pleasure because of existing belief and culture related to sexuality and gender equality under the influence of Confucianism, economic difficulties and short-comings in legal systems. Further research and some immediate measures such as awareness raising and laws enhancement are suggested to improve the situation.

Introduction: The promotion of sexual rights for women as part of the process to improve womens life and gender equality has spread across the world since the late twentieth century. However, while gender has already attracted public attention and awareness, sexual life in non-western cultures like Vietnam seems to remain a mystery. There is an increasing number of projects on reproductive health and reproductive rights in Vietnam, but very few studies or projects are found on sexual rights. Some projects may include the term sexual beside the term reproductive health and rights in their names but mostly focus on health and reproduction aspects in practice. Moreover, womens rights to sexual pleasure are never mentioned. This situation implies two possibilities: Vietnamese women have their full rights to sexual enjoyment, so their only concern is about health; or their rights are being neglected. By critically examining socio-cultural, economic, and political and legal factors in Vietnam through gender lens, this paper argues that the current context of Vietnam is imposing a lot of tensions, fears and risks on womens sexuality, thus condemning womens rights to sexual pleasure. Within the limit of this paper, only women in heterosexual relationships are chosen to analyze.

Sexual rights, the rights to sexual enjoyment and womens sexuality: Sexual rights are now widely recognized as integral parts of human rights in the world (UNFPA, 2002). Despite common perception that only men who are described as sexually driven beings (Greig, Kimmel, & Lang, 2000) seek sex for pleasure, the rights to sexual enjoyment or the rights to have sex for pleasure are included in sexual rights for

every body, both men and women. According to the United Nations World Health Organization, every person has the right to receive sexual information and to consider accepting sexuality for pleasure as well as for procreation." (Bullough, 2004, pg.53). In this paper, the terms sexual enjoyment, sexual pleasure refer to both emotional and physical feelings, not merely the physical pleasure. Sexual satisfaction in women is found to connect with the early start of sexual life, self assertiveness in sexuality, frequency of sexual intercourse, techniques used in sexual encounters, and orgasm (Haavio-Mannila, Elina, & Kontula, 1997). It is also indicated by Daniluk (1998) that contrary to common knowledge of intercourse as the most popular and the highest form of sexuality, many other experiences such as masturbation, fondling, touching and stimulation also bring pleasure to women. Therefore, to enjoy sex, it is necessary to be able to have sex with comfort, safety and security. As described by Parker, Mauro, Filiano, & Garcia (2004), sex should be free of any mental as well as physical pain. Consequently, besides love and mutual respect, social support, sexual knowledge and autonomy for a woman to decide freely when, where, with whom, and especially how she wants to have sex are very important to help her achieve sexual fulfillment (McCormick, 1994).

Influential factors on the rights to sexual enjoyment of Vietnamese women: Socio-cultural factors: Vietnamese culture is where sex is considered a taboo(Zhang & Locke, 2001), which therefore restricts the sexuality of people in general and of women in particular by

prescribing the place, time, with what person and where on the body their sexual desires should be satisfied (Bullough, 2004). For instant, in Vietnam, unmarried women and widows are not recognized as sexually active beings, and not morally allowed to have sex. Sex is considered to be the secret world of married people, as the only purpose of sex is to produce children. Though the average age for marriage is increasing, especially in urban areas, expectation about the first time of having sex remains the day one get married. This is the result of moral standards of Confucianism, which is still a dominant ideology in the country (Frenier & Mancini, 1996; Zhang & Locke, 2001). According to Confucian moral values, sex without marriage is not accepted. But it is worse for a single woman than an unmarried man to involve in sex, because not like men who have nothing to lose, women have to keep their chastity. A Vietnamese, unmarried teacher telling her own experience of premarital sex said: Vietnamese people are very unjust in this respect. They condemn girls but not boy. If a girl has sex before marriage, she is considered spoilt.(Gammeltoft, 2002). The situation may be disguised by the finding that there are increasing tolerance and sympathy for women in collective farms who have children without husbands (Tam, 1996). But it should be noted that this sympathy is not given to young girls who are not considered the victims of war, who are not desperate to have children for future care, and who have sex for sex only. As procreation is the only goal of sex, sexual pleasure is considered promiscuous, bad and immoral. The majority of people surveyed in Hai Duong, Vietnam recently expressed strong disapproval to premarital and extramarital sex (Ghuman, 2005). Losing or being thought of losing virginity through premarital sex may eliminate a womans ability to get marriage (Belanger & Hong, 2002). Unmarried women

receive no social support to have sex. Some women, therefore, may choose to control their sexual desire and be abstinent; others may have sex to please their partners but with the feeling of shame, guilt or worries. Sex, as a result, is much less likely to be a source of pleasure for these women. Sex as a taboo also limits peoples accessibility to sexual information of good quality, leading to lack of sexual knowledge, lack of the power for enjoying sexual fulfillment. Until now, except some extra-curriculum activities on reproductive health, no official sex education has been introduced into the school because of fear that it will pave the way for young people to involve in sex earlier. Scientific research also seems to ignore this subject. Even translated works on sexuality is hard to find in Vietnam. More and more sexual information are now found on the internet or some tabloids, but there is no guarantee about the quality of these sources of information, and people may be misinformed (Zhang & Locke, 2001). For example, until now many well-educated women still believe that sexuality during pregnancy is harmful for the fetus, thus becoming sexual abstinent during this period even when having desire for sex (Tran, 2005). In the context of social taboos on sex, women involve in sexual activities without a marriage have to face the risks of negative outcomes such as sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. As recorded by Zhang & Locke (2001), though there is no outspoken rule preventing single women from accessing reproductive health care centers, contraception information and services, in practice the barriers do exist. Single women are marginalized from these services as they are afraid of being seen as sexually active beings. Unmarried men, though not being stigmatized, but also feel uncomfortable

and also avoid accessing such places, doubling the risks for women to get unintended pregnancy and diseases. According to Gammeltoft (2002), Vietnam has the highest rate of abortion in the world, and unmarried women account for about one-third of abortions in big cities like Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. The invasion of more liberal cultures from the West, ironically, does not improve Vietnamese womens rights to sexual enjoyment but is more likely to further condemn them. In transition period, exposure to western cultures with more open ideas about sex may make men describing themselves as risk-takers seek for more sexual adventures, require more officially unaccepted sex from partners. On the other hand, traditional values about womens sex outside the wedlock remain in a large proportion of the society, making women more confused between the demand of their partners, the new knowledge, the wish to investigate if the two people are compatible in all respects including sexual life (Gammeltoft, 2002), and the worries of being stigmatized by public opinion (Gammeltoft, 2002, pg.119) for losing the so-called most precious thing of a woman: virginity. Within marriage, sex is not very pleasurable given the gender stereotypes in Vietnam. The research in Hai Duong province (Ghuman, 2005) reveals that women are much less than men in initiating sex, and much more conservative than men in sexual matters, especially in sexual expression. Sex-roles expect women to hide their sexual desire, and discourage them to experiment new ways or techniques of making love with their husbands. It is found that women who try new ways of making love may be thought to learn it from adultery, thus being mistreated by their husbands (Tran, 2005). Gender expectations in labour modes add to womens difficulties in enjoying their rights to sexual pleasure.

Vietnams Doi Moi policy on one hand creates more equal accessibility to employment for men and women, providing women more opportunities to have paid jobs. On the other hand, this policy intertwines with expectation of women as housework labourers, giving women the dual workloads (Yarr, 1996). Heavier workload means less time for rest and more physical tiredness, thus affecting womens mood to enjoy their sexual life. Inequality in power distribution between the two genders also contributes to eliminating womens ability to enjoy sex. In reproduction, for example, men do not participate adequately in sharing family planning responsibilities, bearing in mind that it is their wives tasks (Thi, 1996). Most family planning campaigns thus target at women, IUD is the most popular contraceptive method despite womens worries about its side effects (Gammeltoft, 1999.; Zhang & Locke, 2001). This situation to some extent reflects the lack of negotiation between couples, the uncomfortable feeling of women for adopting an unpleasant contraception and the negative effects on the quality of womens sexual life. The norm about marital consent is likely another constraint for womens sexual enjoyment in Vietnam. Many people hold the view that once getting married, it is the wifes duty to meet her husbands sexual demand, and refusal of sex may lead to fear that the husband will seek extramarital sex instead (Tran, 2005). The idea of women having to please their husband is common among Vietnamese women (Gammeltoft, 1999.). Thi (1996) indicated that in marital sexual relations in Vietnam, many wives suffer from husbands unreasonable demand even when the formers are in sickness. More seriously, marital rape may occur (Goodstein, 1996). It is a reasonable belief regarding the similar subordination of Vietnameses women within marriage in comparison with other

countries like India, where (Khan, Townsend, Sinha, & Lakhanphan, 2002) found that many women are sexually victimized by their spouses. Womens rights to sexual pleasure are also affected by the tradition of emphasizing family privacy and dignity, the culture of suffering in silence and the lack of supporting services. Unmarried women face the fear of not only stigmatizing themselves, but also making a disgrace to the honour of the family (Zhang & Locke, 2001, pg.15) if they involve in sexual activities. Married women, once encounter difficulties in sexual life, hardly dare disclose about this (Thi, 1996), thus hardly receive help. Affecting by the sexual taboos, women may feel too ashamed or guilty to speak out. But another important reason stopping them is they are influenced by the culture of suffering in silence created by a long history of war in Vietnam (Barry, 1996), and by the custom of considering domestic issues as family privacy and ignoring them among the public (Hai, 2004). And even if some women have thought about getting out of the situation, there is no supporting service such as counseling or temporary accommodation out there to help victims of sexually abuse by husbands. One culture should be mentioned as an obstacle to Vietnamese womens rights to sexual pleasure is the tradition that requires one son in the family, normally the eldest brother, to live with the parents even after getting married to take care of them. Tensions in the relationship between women and their in-law family is reported to be prevalent in many families, which is one of the most important reasons for the increase of divorce in Ho Chi Minh City in the 1990s (Du, 1996). Even without serious tensions, women living with parents in-law must pay attention to their daily behaviours to adapt with the in-laws lifestyle and avoid conflicts, limit their freedom of exchanging loving expressions with

their husbands. This way of living does not provide women enough of privacy, which have negative impacts on their emotions and their ability to enjoy sexual life.

Economic factors: If socio-cultural settings limit womens rights to sexual enjoyment by putting on women risks and fears and limiting womens freedom to decide their sexuality, economic factors add to the barriers preventing women from information and from leaving their marriage for a better sexual life. Economic factors also affect the ability to afford a comfortable environment for satisfied sex. Information accessibility is most seriously affected by economic conditions in rural areas. Now that the information on sexuality can not be obtained from schools and family due to sexual taboos, the main sources of sexual information are the internet, tabloids and peers. Considering the countrys GDP per capita of USD550 in 2004 (The World Bank Group, 2005) of which the incomes of rural areas are surely much lower, the cost for computers and internet access, as well as the price of colourful tabloids which is usually ten to twenty times higher than that of normal newspapers, it can be seen that it is very difficult for rural and poor urban residents to access those kinds of information. Economic difficulties are major obstacles for womens independence and freedom to decide their sexual matters, such as leaving their husbands after being sexually victimized in their own marriages. It is noted in the research of Du (1996) that there are families where wives are ill-treated by husbands but do not leave the family because of unsatisfactory settlement about the issues of children and property sharing after the

divorce. Normally women face enormous financial constraints: they have to take care of the children, at the same time they face more difficulties than men in finding paid-jobs, meanwhile their husbands responsibility for contributing to raising children is not strongly enforced. The situation should be more serious in rural areas where poverty is more severe and employment opportunities are rarer. Economic constraints also tie many couples under the roof of a multi-generations family, restricting womens freedom and privacy for sexual enjoyment. According to (Thi, 1996), in the 1990s, about one-fifth of families in big cities include three to four generations due to limited housing conditions.

Political and legal factors: At the first look, Vietnams policies and laws with gender equality promotion as a basic principle seem to be favourable for womens sexual rights, including the rights to sexual enjoyment. Vietnams 1992 Constitution acknowledges the equal rights for all citizens in all respects. Vietnam signed the Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) when the United States has not signed it (Yarr, 1996).The 2000 Marriage and Family Law not only recognizes the equal rights between husbands and wife to divorce, to receive respects for their honour and dignity, but also concretizes regulations on womens equal rights to ownership of property within marriage as well as after the divorce (Hai, 2004). However, a further investigation into Vietnamese laws in practice reveals many limitations in protecting womens rights in general and ensuring womens rights to sexual

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pleasure in particular. The first constraint is the lack of specificity in laws, such as in guiding how to define what properties belongs to what parties before and after the marriage, how to cope with special cases such as changes in property but without changes in property registration, or how to define what behaviours constitute different forms of domestic violence. No provisions are provided on marital rape or sexual assaults within marriage. Secondly, there is a lack of effective law enforcement in most cases (Hai, 2004). There is no regulation on how the punishment will be applied in the case the husband abuses his wife, or fails to complete his responsibility to contribute to children raising, or does not pay back the wifes parts in the property, as well as on the time frame for the responsibility to be fulfilled after the divorce. No provision is found on what the wife should do, how she will be protected if she is victimized by the husband. Vietnamese laws with the above limitations seem to be helpless in improving womens wellbeing, especially in the family sphere and in such a sensitive issue as sexuality.

Conclusion: The scrutinizing of Vietnamese context leads to reasonable belief that Vietnamese women are enjoying very limited rights to sexual enjoyment. Socio-cultural settings with sexual taboos, Confucian moral standards on womens virginity, gender stereotypes, unequal power distribution within the family, social norms about marriage, the mixing of modern and traditional values in transition periods, and culture of family-dignity-focus and suffering in silence seem to be the most significant barriers preventing women from enjoying sex. Those factors marginalize unmarried women from sexual activities while at the same time pressure them to involve in sex; eliminate social support for womens

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sexual pleasure outside the wedlock; put single women under the risks and fears of negative consequences of sex; restrict single womens sexual freedom and autonomy; hinder the grasping of sexual knowledge and practice of different sexual techniques; and provide opportunities for spousal sexual violence to occur. Economic conditions, including housing difficulties and financial constraints further undermine the rights to sexual enjoyment of Vietnamese women, especially those in rural areas, by preventing them from enjoying privacy and autonomy. Current policies and laws in Vietnam are not specific and lack of effective law enforcement, thus can not protect women from sexual coercion or ensure equality for womens sexual enjoyment. However, until now there are no reliable statistics and studies on this issue in Vietnam, thus it is hard to know exactly and concretely about how many women are having their rights to sexual enjoyment negatively affected by the current context in Vietnam, and how seriously they are affected. Therefore, further in-depth research based on field studies is really necessary to acquire better understanding of the issue. Besides, there are some changeable factors, such as the characteristics of transition period. It is hoped that the spread of western cultures may gradually make more open views on sexuality take over the general public opinion about the sexual matters. But it should also noted that waiting for the influence of western culture only can not guarantee the full rights of Vietnamese women to sexual pleasure. Because sexual rights including rights to sexual pleasure are vital human rights, it is necessary to take actions as soon as possible to ensure the exercise of these rights in practice. Suggested strategies may start from awareness raising about sexuality, information dissemination, further concretizing laws provisions, and strengthening law enforcement.

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