Venus in the 12th House: Secret Love Affairs & Heartache

by Carmen Turner Schott.

In our astrological chart, the planet Venus represents love, affection,

beauty, and harmony. The house where Venus is placed in our natal chart

will reveal our emotional expressiveness and our ability to express love.

Venus will show what kind of lover we are and what traits we find attractive

in others. The house where Venus sits is extremely important for our

intimate relationships. It enables us to express our love nature and directs

how we express that love to others. When Venus is placed within the twelfth

house, there are many difficulties.

The twelfth house is known as the House of Suffering. All issues that rule

this house are kept hidden or secret. The deep secrets about our own

personality, as well as our emotions are locked within this house. Having

Venus placed here is an indicator of suffering through love affairs and

through heartache at some time in one’s life. Almost every astrology book

you read will tell you, that a Venus in the twelfth individual is destined to

experience clandestine or secret love affairs. How and why does this

happen? This happens because the expression of love is kept secret from

others. The initial emotion of love is held within and sometimes never

expressed.

Individuals with this placement often find themselves in love with someone

that is not free. This often manifests as falling in love with someone who is

already married or committed to someone else. Below, I will show several

examples of individuals that I have worked with who have experienced the

intense shock of having Venus in the twelfth house. I have studied several

charts with this placement and almost every time the client reveals to me

that they either had an affair, were in love with someone they could not be

with, or they were in love with someone and never let them know.

The first individual has the Sun and Venus in her twelfth house. She was

spiritual, compassionate, and sensitive to others feelings. Happily married

for three years, her life suddenly changed. She met someone at work and

instantly fell in love. The connection between her and this co-worker was

very strong and undeniable. The feelings were mutual between them, but

they both were married with children. She described to me how devastating

it was for her to feel that way about someone else other than her husband.

She felt intense guilt and shame for the love she had in her heart. That love

was ignited and it seemed that nothing could ever shake it. This individual

told me that she cried in her room each night and asked God to take away

the love in her heart for the other man. The sadness in her heart was

almost unbearable. She learned to live with her feelings in secret.

She believed in the sanctity of marriage and she never betrayed her

husband. She never told her husband about her feelings for this other man.

Eventually, she moved to another state. This example illustrates how

individuals with Venus in the twelfth individual’s suffer through love and

relationships. This suffering occurs because it if often inappropriate to feel

and express the love they have openly. The secret nature of the twelfth

house forces the Venus love energy inward, deep within and in the darkest
recesses of the heart. There is often an inability to express the love nature

due to material, practical, psychological or moral reasons.

There was a female client that I met recently, who has the Sun and Venus in

the twelfth house. She had experienced tremendous heartache and

suffering with her husband for seven years. She was in an emotionally

abusive marriage and did not realize that she was unhappy and lonely. One

day she reconnected with an old childhood friend from her past who she had

loved deeply. There was a long history between them and a deep bond that

was always there no matter how much time passed. They started out

writing to each other on email and the next thing she knew, her heart was

ignited, opened up and energized for the first time in six years. Feeling

intense love for this man again, she realized that love was always there

locked deep within her heart. She felt alive for the first time in ages.

Excitement and energy rushed through her veins each time she spoke to

him on email.

Eventually, the two of them decided to meet for lunch as friends. She did

not realize what would happen to her that day and how it would change her

life forever. She was walking into the fire with a bomb strapped on her back.

When she saw him for the first time in seven years, she felt as though only

a few hours had passed. It was as if she had known him her entire life, due

to the deep, comfortable, feelings that she had instantly for him. She fell in

love with him all over again.

The problem was that he was happily married and did not want to change

his life. She knew that he loved her deeply, but she knew it was not fair to
ask him to change for her. She was in a miserable marriage and was

desperately seeking love. She just did not realize she would find it with him

all over again. The day she saw him changed her life forever. She decided to

stop the communication with him, because it was too painful for her.

Eventually she separated from her husband, even though she knew she was

in love with someone she could never have. To this day she still loves him in

secret and keeps those loving feelings in her heart hidden from everyone

she knows.

Many individuals with Venus in the twelfth house experience secret love

affairs. Sometimes the feelings are acted on and other times they are kept

hidden and repressed. Not all individuals with Venus in the twelfth will cheat

on their spouse, but many will have emotional affairs because of the energy

of this placement. Even the most moral, committed and happily married

individual can fall prey to this placement. I have seen it hundreds of times

with clients and with friends in my life. This placement of Venus is

extremely difficult, but with understanding and compassion these

individuals will eventually heal. Suffering arises as a result of the situations

that these individuals find themselves in. It is important for anyone with this

placement to truly look within and be honest about their emotions.

If you have Venus in the twelfth house and have experienced relationships

like the ones described above, remember that it is not your fault. The

energy of Venus in the twelfth house will eventually lead you into a situation

like this. It is almost inevitable. The more I research this placement, the

more I believe in destiny. These individuals are destined to experience these

types of relationships and secret love affairs. Do not feel guilty or blame

yourself for the experiences that occur. Simply try to realize that it is

destiny and meant to happen to you for learning purposes.

My goal of doing astrology is to help others experience greater self

awareness and to understand themselves better. By doing this, we can

come to better accept ourselves and our own actions. If you experience

these situations in your life, look to your natal chart and see if Venus is in

the twelfth. If it is, try to remember that this is pla netary energy

expressing itself. You have experiences and karma to learn and go through,

plain and simple. Trust yourself and trust in the power of experience. Try

not to blame yourself if you fall prey to this intense placement.