Matthew 18 Community - Part 3 - Are You A Relational Stumbling Block?

Introduction Would you consider yourself a relational stumbling block? The question itself prompts two responses. First, what in the world is a "stumbling block"? (Hint: It's not a good thing.) And secondly, do I fit into that category? We will be unpacking these themes in this third post on the Matthew 18 Community. Setting the context Matthew 18 contains a series of teachings by Jesus on the subject of relationships. Verses 1-5 are an indictment to pride in a relationship and to the supreme importance of humility (See Part 2 - Humility as a Key Relational Value ). Matthew 18:6-10, takes up the concept of being a "stumbling block" or causing someone "to stumble." We note two things here: 1) Jesus repeats the term 6 times in 5 verses lest we wish to bypass it and 2) Jesus reserves some of the harshest language in the Scriptures for those who are "stumbling blocks." It's better to put a millstone around your neck and be thrown into the lake vs. causing others "to stumble." (By the way, a millstone in ancient times was made of rock and weighed about 130 lbs. Basically this means you'd be heading straight to the bottom!) Defining a Stumbling Block The concept of a "stumbling block" is essentially what the image conjures up. That is, putting an obstacle in someone's way that would cause that person to trip or fall. In terms of our relationships and our spiritual life, it means that you are impeding or impairing someones progress toward God. In the Old Testament, idols and idolatry were called stumbling blocks for Israel (Hos 4:17). Why? Because they continually hindered Israel's obedience to the Lord's commands and the path to fulfilling God's will. Furthermore, Jesus even warns against you being a stumbling block to yourself. If your eye is a culprit to your progress toward God, cut it out! (Not literally, of course). Nevertheless, the message is clear. This is serious! You must take radical measures to stop being a "stumbling block" to yourself. When you impede someone's progress toward God (even your own), you are now fighting against God's people; You are affecting someone else's spiritual life. And the notion that there are personal sins, that only affect you, is nonsense. There are no sins that affect only you. Everything is related. You, other people, God. There are no islands (Simon and Garfunkel notwithstanding!) Are you a relational stumbling block? Think back over your day and week an ask yourself, Have I done something recently that has impeded someone's ability to come closer to God? Have I been a discourager vs. an encourager. Am I generally more of a complainer vs. not? Have I blown my top at work, yelled at the wife, unjustly censured my kids? Have I taken my freedom in Christ too far and done or said things which would cause others with a weaker conscience to sin against God?

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From a personal standpoint. Do my hands, feet, eyes, mind cause me to stumble? Do I consistently get in my own way and impede my progress toward God through my own sin. Do I have an "addiction"? On any of these fronts, the cure is pretty radical and can never be too extreme. Jesus says, do whatever it takes to get your behavior under control. A Note on "Addictions" Allow me to comment for a moment on "addictions." We humans tend to be a fairly compulsive group. If we don't have a serious addiction to something like drugs, alcohol, spending, gambling, sex, money, power, work, fear, food or attention then we most likely have mild cases of the same. I like to call them "lowgrade" spiritual fevers and in relationships they can be almost as debilitating because we don't realize how self-destructive we can be. We think we have things under control. If you do seriously suffer from one of the above addictions, you must seek professional help before it is too late. It's hard for me to give you relationship advice if your anger problem causes you to strike your family. If you have a low-grade "addiction," you must do everything in your power to eradicate it. It is causing a great deal of pain, anguish and spiritual conflict in your life and in your relationships as well. Conclusion These are tough lessons to swallow. But just like a father warns his children against danger, so God warns his children when their self-destructive patterns and behaviors can cause so much damage. We were made to be in joyful and loving relationships with other people. However, when we cause others or ourselves to stumble, we are cutting off people's path toward the God who created them and we shortcircuit all that the Lord has planned for us in this life through our relationships. Let us not be a stumbling block to others nor to ourselves. Shalom!

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