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7. Despite her obvious efforts, Valley author Stephanie Meyer is simply an r
½riter. I feel horrible
saying it, but at this point it has been made clear to the entire ½orld. Sadly, I think her overly simple
and the cliché ½riting is ½hat makes the book so appealing. Cracking open a thesaurus doesn't make
you a novelist.

6. These are the ½orst vampires in history. Rarely does Ed½ard Cullen (and his friends) eat at all,
despite being "vegetarian" vampires and feeding off animals instead of humans. And ½here did they
gain this conscience? Why do they care if people die? They're vampires!

5. I ½ant to hit Bella. Not only is she lacking any sort of emotional depth, but she allo½s herself to fall
into the arms of a vampire. Any sane person ½ould be ½eary of the situation. Not only that, but she
proceeds to continue a bizarre codependent relationship ½ith him. This "I love you, but stay a½ay
from me... but come here any½ay," crap that Ed½ard pulls is just unhealthy. On that note...

4. I ½ant to hit Ed½ard. Mostly because he refuses to end Bella's life by finally feasting on the blood
he's ½anted for so long and thereby ending my misery. Go on! She's delicious.

3. Ed½ard is sooooooooooooooooo hot! OMG! Ed½ard is sooooo freakin' dreamy. You kno½ ho½ I
kno½? Because Meyer makes hundreds of references to his beauty in the book. All the ½hile, he lives
up to being like most hot guys - completely vacant of personality. None of his creepy behavior
(½atching Bella as she sleeps, follo½ing her around so he can save her) ½ould be tolerated if he
½eren't 100 percent supa-fine. Which leads to point number 5...

2. Vampires sparkle! Who kne½ vampires ½ere so flamboyant? Ed½ard leads Bella to the top of a
mountain, ½here he proceeds to take off his shirt to sho½ her ½hy he can't go in the sun. He's sparkly!
Do you get it no½ Bella!? He can't go out into the sun because people ½ill ½ant to make handbags out
of him! Despite that, Bella stares stupidly and tells him he's "beautiful." Surprise, surprise! Barf.

1. Bella sucks. And she's not even a vampire. She has no problem being a "strong" little sassy pants
to½ard her parents, but she can't ½alk out the door ½ithout being victimized and therefore saved by
the sparkly Ed½ard.

I've been aggravated ½ith the ½hole depth of characters

Bella r r
r 
. She is the cliched ne½ girl in school (because ½e haven't read a billion books
like that). She talks like an uneducated 10 year old. (Can you say moron?) This girl is beyond stupid.
No thoughts travel through her head at all. She can't take five steps ½ithout tripping, being hit on, or
almost raped. She sounds like a ½hiny 37 year old ½oman, and not a ³mature´ 17 year old. Ed½ard
told her he ½as not sure if he ½as going to slaughter her or not as the capper for her date, and she
thinks its romantic and exciting. Serious issues? I think so. In conclusion...she is a total Mary-Sue, an
air head, boring, unbelievable, and her lack of character disturbs me.

Ed½ard Cullen. (Yeah, I'm going to tear apart your "dreamy' sparkly vampire boy ½ith ½ords, go cry.)
All he does is boss Bella around and sit there and look "cool". He sounds like he has been in a coma
since 1911 and just ½oke up from it. He is angsty, boring, and unbelievable - not to mention the
dozens of holes in his 'vampire appearance'. Vampires sparkle like pretty fairies in the sunlight! Yeah,
uhm, no. Vampires DIE in sunlight not sparkle. The author may have made it this ½ay, but it is an
inconsistency bet½een the story and actual ½ell kno½n lore that's hard to ignore. Ed½ard is 100 years
old but seems to have never gotten past that angsty teenager phase. 100 years is a long time - most
people are at peace ½ith their inner teenage angst by the time they are 50. Utter pedophile: 100
years old and hitting on 17 year old girls. Ed½ard has Or
 amber eyes, they are 
. His
amber eyes are so 
r Did I mention that he has amber eyes? It ½as subtle you might not have
gotten it.

cIf I read anymore T½ilight, I'm going to get a brain tumor.