Está en la página 1de 9

The

Spiritual
Life of
Children
By
Don Bryant
Children suffer and hurt, wonder and
question, be they infants, youngsters or teens.
Just like adults, they need faith, hope, love, and
a sense of acceptance through forgiveness. Just
like adults, they can lose their way and need a
spiritual compass. They need the development
of a significant spiritual life that will be the
foundation of a life well-lived.

Are children capable of a meaningful


relationship with God? Jesus thought so. He
put it this way. “The people brought children
to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The
disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate
and let them know it: ‘Don’t push these children
away. Don’t ever get between them and me.
These children are at the very center of life in
the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept
God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child,
you’ll never get in.’ Then, gathering the
children up in his arms, he laid his hands of
blessing on them.” Mark 10:13-16

Jesus thought that children needed a


relationship with God of their own. In fact, they
serve as a sort of model for what it means to
respond to God honestly and simply, with
wonder and openness. They can and do respond
to God. The Bible is full of stories of children
who had a special relationship with God. Many
adults recall making serious and lasting
commitments to God that changed the course of
their lives. Children are naturally curious about
God and heaven. They wonder where people go
after they die. They spontaneously pray and can
actually insist on the ritual prayer at bedtime or
at meals. They enjoy Bible stories. They easily
believe in a God who stands against evil but
who loves them and helps them. They
understand the difference between right and
wrong and experience the need to be forgiven.
All of these things, rightly encouraged, can
make for a huge difference in the psychological
development of children and in the security and
happiness they can experience in the adult years.

But some parents are intimidated by the


natural spirituality of young children. They
don’t know what to do with it, particularly if
church or Bible reading haven’t been a big part
of their lives. They might consider such a
simple faith and religious interest cute but naïve.
And they might fear interfering with the choices
each person should make on their own. But
they also know that a child cannot be kept
spiritually neutral. The natural interest children
have in God must be nurtured by the family and
community. Or it will die from neglect.

So how should a parent proceed? The


answer to that question depends in large part on
the spiritual experience of the parent. While
most adults believe that there is a God, their
own spiritual journey might be undeveloped and
without real answers to life’s big questions.
They are not exactly sure how to help their
children and are gun shy when it comes to
religious training in the home. If they had a
church experience that left a lot to be desired,
they might be a little skittish about doing the
‘church thing’ with their kids. If their taste of
religion was primarily guilt and negativity, they
naturally want something better for their family.
If going to church was something boring and
legalistic, to be done and gotten over with, then
they’re going to think twice about putting their
children through the same experience. So a lot
of parents get paralyzed and fail to take positive
steps to develop their child’s spiritual life.

This pamphlet will help you think about


your child’s spiritual life and begin to move in a
positive direction. But it will also force you to
think about your own relationship with God.
The overriding reality is that your child will
follow the trail you blaze in terms of values,
priorities, goals and beliefs. Your own vital and
growing relationship with God is your basic
contribution to the your child’s welfare. While
psychological development will enable our
children to live in society and to earn a living, it
is spiritual development that will enable them to
understand the meaning of life and weather its
storms. Ultimately children become more or
less adjusted, more or less neurotic not from the
usual frustrations of life but from the lack or
loss of meaning in these frustrations.

Let’s start with the goal. What do we


want to move our kids toward? What are the
goals of parental training? They can be
summarized by the five C’s.
1. Confidence. A healthy person has
confidence. They know who they are. They
know their gifts and they understand how to use
them. They are aware that they have been
shaped by God for a life mission. The Bible
says that God doesn’t want us to be shy with his
gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.
(2 Timothy 1:7) Parents want their children to
be positive, energetic, and proactive – not to
shrink from life but to embrace it.

2. Convictions. A healthy person has


convictions. If you live long enough, you know
that it’s easier to live without money than to live
without convictions. Convictions guide us
beyond the things of time and convenience to
build our lives upon what lasts forever.
Convictions are beliefs about God, His character
and nature, about what brings His blessings and
what brings His discipline. Convictions are
compass points of the soul. When the fog of
life’s storms moves in and the soul is
surrounded by the shoals of danger, there is a
way to make it through. The Bible says, “Thy
Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my
path.” (Psalm 119:105)

3. Character. Character is who you are


in the dark when no one is looking. Character
means not stooping to the easy way out, not
shifting blame, accepting responsibility, doing
the right thing, and believing that what is done
or left undone in the short run determines the
long run. Character refuses short cuts.

4. Compassion. Compassion is the


ability to choose others. It is moving beyond
self to the world of people who are every bit as
valuable as oneself. Compassion is a power, not
just a character trait. It gives us the fuel to go
beyond ordinary performance standards by
putting self interest aside and doing what is best
for all concerned. “Love never fails.”
(1 Corinthians 13:8)

5. Competency. Every child has been


given a gift by God. Children have a spiritual
and psychological DNA of sorts that enables
them to fulfill their life mission. A wise parent
will want to nurture their children’s giftedness
so that they can make a difference in the world.
God shaped them for impact. The Bible says,
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and
the work you have been given, and then sink
yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with
yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others.
Each of you must take responsibility for doing
the creative best you can with your own life.”
(Galatians 6:3) All that any wise parent wants
for his or her children is to be what God shaped
them to be. That is the best course for
happiness.

Confidence. Convictions. Character.


Compassion. Competence. You don’t have to
think long and hard to see that a significant
spiritual life supports and encourages the very
goals wise parents have for their children.
Confidence comes from the unfailing belief that
God loves me and will not abandon me, that my
battles are His battles. Convictions come from
truths that are not mere human opinion or fads
that change with the times. They are based on
God’s unchanging nature and the moral realities
which God has woven into the very fabric of
creation. Character comes from the pursuit of
things that are worthwhile and noble and
excellent and that move us beyond living for
just for a larger slice of what the world has to
offer. Compassion comes from a heart made
soft by the presence of God. Competence
comes from the belief that we matter to God and
that He never created someone He did not like
or in whom He did not make a very special
investment. When children do not have a
growing relationship with God they are left to
drift upon the changing tide of human opinion
and fads.

The Four Needs of Children

There are four needs that shape the


development of children. To the degree that
these needs are filled, children will have a
greater likelihood of moving steadily toward the
five goals just described.

1. Faith: The Risk of Trusting. A


child will soon learn that bad things happen.
People get sick, friends move or change
favorites, parents divorce, loved ones die, pets
have to be put to sleep, school is hard, teachers
can be unkind, etc. These are things over which
a child has no apparent control. Bad things
happen! How children are taught to handle bad
things will be critical in their development.
They can either become cynical and critical or
they can adjust and grow. A person who has
faith in God is at peace and able to trust other
people. A sense that “things will be all right”
pervades. Without faith a person is fearful and
anxious. Faith teaches us that we don’t have to
be in control to be happy. The Bible says that
God works all things together for good for those
who love God and are called according to his
purpose. (Romans 8:28) It doesn’t say that all
things are good. But God can take all things
and make them work for good. There is a world
of difference between the person who believes
that and the one who doesn’t. The future is
open for children who believe that they are
special and that God loves them and that He
makes promises they can depend on. Rather
than retreating out of fear they can take risks
and experience failure but know that no failure
is final. In one sense, faith teaches us that it is
impossible to have a bad experience because all
things can be used by God to shape us and equip
us to fulfill our life mission.

Of course, parents have a critical role. If


a child learns that significant adults can be
trusted, trust in God’s faithfulness usually
comes naturally. Parents who make and keep
promises, maintain loving presence, and refuse a
critical attitude even as they exercise discipline
and oversight give children a taste of what God
does.

But at some point every child learns that


parents are not gods and cannot control
outcomes. They are only human. It is then that
God Himself must become the primary focus
and sustainer of our children’s worlds.

2. Hope: Encouragement to Keep


Going. People with hope are positive and
optimistic, energetic and flexible. Without hope,
negativism and depression ensue. We are
limited not by the place of our birth, nor by the
color of our skin, but by the size of our hope. In
the bigger picture there is very little difference
among us. But that little difference can make a
big difference. And that little difference that
makes the difference can be the attitude of hope.

In the Bible God is called “the God of all


hope.” People who know Him are always
finding strength to go on and power over fear.
One of the more famous passages from the
Bible puts it this way:

“Don’t you know that the LORD is the


everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth?
He never grows faint or weary. No one can
measure the depths of his understanding. He
gives power to those who are tired and worn
out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youths
will become exhausted, and young men will give
up. But those who wait on the LORD will find
new strength. They will fly high on wings like
eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They
will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:28-30

The ladder of hope has nothing to stand


on here below; it is held up from above.

3. Love: A Sense of Belonging. Love


brings a sense of self-worth and dignity, a sense
of belonging. A child who does not feel loved
is apt to feel alienated and insignificant.
Loneliness saps the human spirit. Lonely
people are sad people. And sad people are
vulnerable people – apt to make decisions just to
belong and matter. Drug use, sexual
promiscuity, and a host of other maladies can be
traced back to a vacuum of loving relationships.
Those children who have it set in their hearts
that they are God’s special creation, that He
wants a relationship with them so deeply that He
came into our world to show us how to know
Him, and that He will never abandon them are
equipped to face all the short cuts our world
offers to significance. Because of God they are
already “in” and don’t have to prove themselves
or go along to get along. God’s love is like an
invisible shield that keeps children safe from
undue peer pressure and the scaring ravages of
alienation.

4. Forgiveness: Lifting the Burden.


Without forgiveness, a child will be burdened
with guilt. And guilt is a weight, draining us of
energy, optimism and joy. The fact is, children
do things that fall below God’s standard of
good. And they know it! As well, they
intuitively know that bad should be punished.
Parents can use self-esteem building
mechanisms to minimize their children’s
overreactions to guilt, but true guilt is a spiritual
issue. Children should learn early on that God
through forgiveness has made a way for people
to get a fresh start without holding the past
against them. Forgiveness is not just something
nice. It is critical. It is medicine for the heart.
Without it we sink under the load of
accumulated wrong doing. The Good News is
that we no longer have to live under a
continuous, low-lying black cloud of self-
condemnation because of what God has done.
A wise parent teaches children that though we
sin (by choice as well as by chance), God loves
sinners and has provided a way for everyone to
be cleansed. Romans 5:8 puts it this way. “But
God showed his great love for us by sending
Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
And since we have been made right in God’s
sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly
save us from God’s judgment.”

So now we have identified the give C’s


that form our children’s developmental goals
and the four spiritual needs that sustain healthy
personal growth.

So what’s your next step? Well, that


depends on where you, the parent, are right
now. If a spiritual journey has not been a
priority to you up to this point, perhaps this
pamphlet has convinced you that your children
need you to be on one. You can begin by:

1. Considering your own spiritual


condition. Is your life characterized by
faith, hope and love? Have you
experienced abundant joy and growing
strength? Do you have the inner resources
to overcome life-dominating habits, hurts
and hang-ups? If not, start with another
look at Jesus Christ. He claimed to be able
to impart to any man or woman, boy or girl
a fresh start and an abundant life. The
Bible teaches that through His death on the
cross he paid the penalty for all of our sins
and now lives to offer us a place in heaven.
He claimed to be more than a man. He
claimed to be God among us, the best look
at God we’ll ever get. Jesus put it this way.
“Everyone who looks to the Son and
believes in him shall have eternal life.”
(John 6:40) The personal commitment of a
parent to Jesus Christ is the foundation of a
healthy home.
2. Choose a church to attend. What kind of
church? One that teaches the Bible and that
focuses on helping people know and serve
Jesus. While you don’t want to be critical
of others, the fact remains that some
churches seek to follow the Bible more
closely. Choose one that does. And when
you do, launch into an eager exploration of
the Bible. The Bible has proved itself over
thousands of years to be a reliable guide to
a heart relationship with God. A good
church will provide you with a way to
systematically understand its truths and
apply them to your life.

3. Chose a church that has a heart for


children. Age-graded Christian education
is critical for developing understanding.
Enroll your child and participate faithfully.

4. Don’t wait. The best time to do the right


thing is always now. If your child is an
infant, go to church and utilize the nursery.
Acclimate your child to the surroundings.
Moving on to the next educational level
will then be natural. If your child is older
and isn’t used to making church a priority,
you might find the going a bit of a struggle
at first. But this is only a phase, and the
child will adjust to the new reality. Soon he
or she will be looking forward to being with
other children and listening to the great
stories of the Bible.

Spring Green Memorial Church is here to help


you! We have a heart for children. We invite
you to attend and begin a life of new
possibilities.

También podría gustarte