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86% of teenage girls say they would confide
By The in a friend before anyone else if someone is
attempting to control them, insults them, or physically
Numbers harms them. You CAN make the difference for your friends.

Tell your friend that you are concerned for their safety. Let
them know that you care and will listen whenever they want to talk.
Never blame or judge your friend for what is happening. Don’t
80% of teens make them feel stupid or ashamed. Your friend doesn’t deserve
this and it is NOT their fault.
regard verbal Be supportive and patient. It may be hard for them to talk about
abuse as a “serious what is going on, or they may break up and go back to the relation-
ship many times before they finally leave. Don’t criticize your
issue” for their age
friend for this, even if you don’t agree with their choices.
group. Encourage the person to talk to others. Offer to help the person
talk to family, friends, a teacher, or a counselor.
►Use the National Teen Dating Abuse hotline: ◄
1-866-331-9474
1 in 3 teens will Don’t force your friend to make a decision. They have to decide
when they are ready to get help or break up. Help them make the
experience abuse decision for themselves, and know that you can’t do it for them.
in their dating Focus on her/his strengths. Your friend has probably been told
relationships. by the abusive partner that they are not good enough or that they
did something wrong to make the abuser hurt them. Tell them why
they are a great person and deserve better!

1 in 4 teen girls
Check out these websites!
say they have been Choose Respect: www.chooserespect.org
pressured to Break the Cycle: www.breakthecycle.org Violen
Love is Respect: www.loveisrespect.org ce is
perform oral sex or a c ho
The Safe Space: www.thesafespace.org ice
engage in intercourse See It Stop It: www.seeitandstopit.org
in their relationship. A Thin Line: www.athinline.org
That’s Not Cool: www.thatsnotcool.com
My Strength: www.mystrength.org
Show Me Love DC: www.showmelovedc.org
  Your friends’ boyfriend calls her names or
Warning Signs: puts her down in front of other people.
 He acts extremely jealous when she talks to other boys
at school or at parties.
 She apologizes for his behavior and makes excuses for him.
 She frequently breaks plans at the last minute for reasons that
don’t make sense to you.
 He is always checking up on her, calling or texting her, and asking
where she is and who she is with.
 You have seen him lose his temper, maybe even break or hit things
when he is mad.
 She seems worried about upsetting him or making him angry.
 She is giving up things that used to be important to her, like
spending time with friends and family, or playing sports.
 Her weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically.
 She has injuries that she can’t explain, or gives explanations
that don’t make sense.

How to break up safely:

Break up in a public place and drive separately so you have a way to get home on
your own.
Tell at least one friend or family member that you are breaking up, and where you
are going.
Wait for your ex to leave before you do so they can’t follow you.
Call your friend or a family member when you are ready to go home and make sure
they know you are safe. Ask them to call you in 20 minutes or however long it takes
you to get home to be sure that you are safe.
Agree on a code word if the abuser is near you and you want help.
Make an appointment with a school counselor to talk about what happened and to
know what to do next.
Stick with buddies when you’re at a party where your ex might also be.
Don’t go to isolated places alone.
 1/3 teens will experience abuse
in their dating relationships

Young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rates of abuse, above
any other age group.

Over 50% of teens have experienced some form of digital abuse.

Girls who are abused in dating relationships are 4 to 6 times more likely to get pregnant
and 8 to 9 times more likely to attempt suicide.

Nearly 50% of all tweens (adolescents age 11-14) and 37% of 11 and
12-year olds say they've been in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

Only half of all tweens claim to know the warning signs of a bad/unhealthy
relationship.

Less than 30% of teens will report when they are involved in a
violent relationship, so it is important for adults to be alert for
signs that a teen may be involved in a relationship that is, or has
the potential to become, abusive.
 Do you see signs that the individual is afraid of his/her boyfriend or girlfriend?
 Does the individual apologize for the boyfriend or girlfriend’s behavior to you and
others?
 Has the individual casually mentioned the boyfriend or girlfriend’s temper or violent
behavior, but then laughed it off as a joke?
 Does the individual seem to have lost interest or is giving up things that were once
important, like school, sports, or other activities?
 Has the individual's appearance or style of dress changed?
 Have you seen sudden changes in the individual’s mood or personality?
 Is the individual becoming anxious or withdrawn, acting out, or being secretive?

IF A STUDENT DISCLOSES BEING A VICTIM OF

TEEN DATING VIOLENCE
Key Points to Convey:
I’m glad that you’ve told me.
This is important.
I want you to be safe.
Let’s make sure you get the help you need right now.
  If the student would like to speak with the school counselor.
(Offer to accompany the student to the counselor if it will help

Ask!
them take the extra step.)
 Whether the student is aware of online resources or
the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.
 Which other adults the student can talk with in order
to get the support they need to be safe.
 What support the student wants from you or other adults.

Resources to share with students:

►National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-8453◄

Choose Respect is a great website for current statistics and includes information on what
it means to be in a healthy/unhealthy relationship. www.chooserespect.org

Break the Cycle has an “escape quickly” button in case the student is afraid others will see
what they are reading. It includes a safety planning guide and information about restrain-
ing orders. www.breakthecycle.org

Love is Respect has a timeout button which will escape to the Google homepage if clicked.
The website offers a live chat feature where students can communicate with a peer
advocate and get their questions answered on the spot. www.loveisrespect.org

The Safe Space offers multiple quizzes for teens to take to identify whether
G I VE
their relationship is healthy or not. This website also features an escape button and
Spanish translation on how to get help. www.thesafespace.org !
A Thin Line is an MTV sponsored website that offers information on digital abuse such
as sexting, constant messaging and other acts of digital disrespect. www.athinline.org

That’s Not Cool offers anonymous “callout” cards that teens can send via email, facebook,
myspace or twitter with funny ways to call someone out for things such as texting too
much, or pressuring them to send nude pictures. The website also offers a discussion forum
for questions. www.thatsnotcool.com

Show Me Love DC is a great resource for GLBT teens that are experiencing abuse.
www.showmelovedc.org

►Mention your concerns to the student privately.

ec t
I f y o u su sp
na
violence i ►Be sure to know and
hip
relations follow your school’s policy on violence;
many schools require you to report incidents!