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1.

SACRAMENTS: MATRIMONY
The book is a complete explanation of
the Seven Sacraments.

MATRIMONY
To purchase the Book, or for theological
inquiries (e-mails only), contact the author:
AUTHOR Rev. Fr. Paolo O. Pirlo, SHMI
EDITION 1st Edition, Manila, 15 August 2018
Solemnity of the Assumption
PUBLISHER Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate
Quality Catholic Publications
Isabella De Rosis St., Multinational
1708 Parañaque City, Philippines
Tel. (02) 828-2338, 828-9509
sonsmaryphil@yahoo.com
www.shmiqcp.com

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate


2. A CATECHIST’S PRAYER
Loving Father, giver of all that is,
help me to remember that every
gift I have comes from you. Expand
my vision so that I can appreciate
your goodness in the world around
me.
Jesus, our Redeemer, you are
the path to the treasures of my
heart and soul. Strengthen my
commitment to be a catechist and
deepen my capacity to share your
truth with those in my care.
Holy Spirit, Love Divine, all
life and energy flows from you.
Illuminate my thoughts and
intensify my desire to grow ever
deeper in my faith.
I lift up my prayer to you, God
the Father, the Son, and the Holy
Spirit, in humility and hope. Amen.

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate


3. THE INSTITUTION OF
MATRIMONY
What Is Christian Matrimony?

q By divine institution,
Christian Matrimony is:

1) The permanent,

2) Covenant of love,

3) Between a qualified
man and woman,

4) Intended for their


common good,

5) and for the


procreation and
education of Children.
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4. THE INSTITUTION OF MATRIMONY
Why is Matrimony Permanent?

q Holy Matrimony is an eternal


conjugal covenant before God,
and not a temporary arrangement
between two lovers; as Jesus
declared: “What God has joined
together, no human being must
separate” (Mark 10:9).
q Since a valid Christian Marriage
is terminated only by death, it is
a mortal sin to divorce from the
lawful spouse and to live More
Uxorio (as husband and wife) with
any other person.
q Separation is allowed only for
very serious reasons, such as
violence or infidelity, provided the
offended party remains single and
reunites with the other as soon as
reasonably possible.

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate


5. THE INSTITUTION OF MATRIMONY
Why is Matrimony a Covenant of Love?
q A true Marriage is established
out of Love, which is the virtue of
giving oneself to the other, as Jesus
declared: “No one has greater love
than this, to lay down one’s life for
one’s friends (John 15:13).
q Christian Love is called Agape, or
the selfless commitment of
promoting the spouse’s good, and
not Eros, or the selfish attitude of
exploiting the other for one’s
interest.
q Marrying for other reasons, such
as physical attraction or financial
gains, begets no everlasting
happiness; as by the Bible’s
warning: “Were one to offer all the
wealth of his house for love, he
would be utterly despised” (Song of
Songs 8:7).

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6. THE INSTITUTION OF MATRIMONY
Why is Matrimony “Between a Qualified Man and Woman”?
q Christian Matrimony is monogamous, as opposite to
polygamous; and heterosexual, as opposite to homosexual;
as Jesus declared: “The Creator made them male and female and
said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife’” (Matthew 19:4-5).
q The two parties must be
qualified for Matrimony,
meaning, they should not
incur any impediment that
will make the Sacrament
invalid.
q The perverted
relationship with a
person of the same
gender is against Nature
and God’s will and, if
unrepented, begets
eternal damnation.

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7. THE INSTITUTION OF MATRIMONY
Why is Matrimony Intended for the Spouses’ Common Good?
q The primary purpose of
Matrimony is the
reciprocal wellbeing of
the spouses; as God said:
“It is not good for the man
to be alone, I will make a
helper suited to him”
(Genesis 2:18).

q Husband and wife


complement each other
at the physical and
spiritual level, since their
bodies were created paired
to provide intimacy and
procreation; and their
intellectual faculties, to be
harmoniously interactive.
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8. THE INSTITUTION OF MATRIMONY
Why is Matrimony Intended for the Procreation and Education of Children?

q The secondary purpose of Matrimony is giving life to


children, as by God’s command, “Be fertile and multiply, fill
the earth” (Genesis 1:28); as well as educating them to be
holy Christians and honest citizens.
q Those spouses
who cannot
have children
for natural
causes can
nevertheless
engage in
spiritual
parenthood, by
engaging in
adoption, charity,
social services,
and prayer.

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9. THE INSTITUTION OF MATRIMONY
What Is the Difference Between Divorce, Separation, and Annulment?

DIVORCE: SEPARATION: ANNULMENT:


It is the legal It is the temporary It is the
dissolution of a living-apart of the declaration that a
valid Civil spouses due to a certain Marriage
Marriage, which serious cause, such was null and void
allows the spouses as infidelity or from the
to remarry civilly unbearable beginning,
with another violence. It is meaning: it never
person. This act is allowed by the existed, because
absolutely Church, provided of an impediment.
prohibited by the spouses remain Since Marriage
Jesus, who said: single, and strive enjoys the favor of
“What God has to reconcile as law, its validity
joined together, no soon as the cause must be upheld
human being must for separation is until the contrary
separate” (Mark dissolved. is proven.
10:9).

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10. THE INSTITUTION OF MATRIMONY
What Are the Marriage Impediments?

q The Impediments are the 13 obstacles that render a Matrimony illicit


or invalid; some of them can be dispensed by the Church.
1. AGE: A man cannot validly enter Matrimony before completing 16 years of age, or a
woman 14. In the Philippines, the lawful celebration of Marriage requires both parties
to be 18 years old, and to obtain the consent of their parents or guardians until the
age of 21.
2. IMPOTENCE: Antecedent and Perpetual Impotence, which is the incapacity of having
sexual intercourse, whether on the part of the man or the woman, nullifies Marriage;
while Sterility, or the incapacity of having children, neither forbids nor invalidates a
Marriage.
3. PREVIOUS SACRAMENTAL MARRIAGE: A Catholic bound by a prior Sacramental
Marriage invalidly attempts a second one, unless the spouse is dead, or the Church
has issued a Declaration of Nullity. A valid Marriage cannot be dissolved by any
authority - not even by the Pope.
4. MIXED MARRIAGE AND DISPARITY OF CULT: The Marriage between a Catholic
and a non-Christian (Mixed), or a non-Catholic Christian (Disparity of Cult), is invalid,
unless the Local Ordinary has granted dispensation.
5. SACRED ORDERS AND PERPETUAL VOW OF CHASTITY: Deacons, Priests and
Bishops, as well as perpetually professed religious, invalidly attempt Marriage; unless
the Pope has granted a Dispensation.

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6. ABDUCTION, FORCE OR GRAVE FEAR: No Matrimony can exist
when a party was kidnapped in view of contracting Marriage, or
married by reason of force or of grave fear; unless the victim chooses
Marriage of her own accord after being separated from the captor and
established in a safe and free place.

7. CRIME: Anyone who in view of entering Marriage with a certain person


has brought about the death of that person’s spouse, or of his own,
invalidly attempts Marriage.

8. CONSANGUINITY: Marriage is invalid between those related by


Consanguinity, both legitimate and natural, or by Legal Adoption, in all
degrees of the direct line (parents and children; grandparents and
grandchildren), or in the second degree of the collateral line (brothers
and sisters). The impediment of Consanguinity in the third and fourth
degree of collateral line (first cousins; nephews and uncles) can be
dispensed.

9. AFFINITY: The legal relationship existing between a spouse and the


blood-relatives of the other spouse, known as Affinity, invalidates a
Matrimony in any degree of the direct line (step-father with step-
daughter; father-in-law with daughter-in-law).

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10. PUBLIC PROPRIETY OR QUASI-AFFINITY: A partner of a public
concubinage, or of an invalid marriage, cannot validly marry those
related by consanguinity in the first degree of the direct line to the
other party: for instance, a live-in partner cannot marry the natural
daughter, nor the mother, of his companion.

11. LACKING SUFFICIENT USE OF REASON: Those who do not have


sufficient use of reason, or the psychological capacity, to
understand and assume the three essential properties (Unity,
Indissolubility, Openness to life), cannot contract a valid Matrimony.

12. ERROR: The Matrimony is invalid when one party has married a
different person from the one he intended; or when the party was
mistaken about an important quality of the other party which was
directly and principally intended for the Marriage.

13. DECEIT: The Marriage is invalid when one of the parties was
deceived concerning some quality of the other party, which of its
very nature can seriously disrupt the partnership of conjugal life.

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13. THE INSTITUTION OF MATRIMONY
Why Is the Christian Family Called the Domestic Church?
q The Christian Family is called the Domestic Church because it
is the basic community of faith and love, essential for the growth of
the Church as well as the wellbeing of society; moreover, it is the
seedbed of religious and priestly vocations.

q The model of
the Domestic
Church is the
Holy Family of
Nazareth, where
Jesus, Mary and
Joseph lived in
perfect harmony
among
themselves,
with God and
with their
neighbors.

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate


14. THE MINISTERS OF MATRIMONY
Who Are the Ministers of Matrimony?
q The Ministers of Marriage
are the Spouses, who
mutually confer upon each
other the Sacrament of
Matrimony by expressing
their consent before the
Church.
q The Priest who assists at
the Rite of Marriage is
appointed to receive the
consent of the spouses and
to give the blessing in the
name of the Church.
However, he is the Minister
of the Holy Mass during
which the Sacrament of
Marriage takes place.

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate


15. THE MATTER OF MATRIMONY
What Is the Matter of Matrimony?
q The Matter of the
Sacrament of
Matrimony is the
Exchange of
Consent, which is
the human act by
which the spouses
mutually give
themselves to
each other, by
declaring: “I take
you to be my
wife” – “I take
you to be my
husband.”

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate


16. THE MATTER OF MATRIMONY
Under What Conditions is the Matter Considered Valid?
q The Matrimonial Consent is considered valid if exchanged
under these three conditions:
CONSCIOUSLY: FREELY: UNIMPEDEDLY:
The Spouses must Both parties ought to The Bride and Groom
have sufficient use of express their Consent had to be free from
reason to understand free from physical these canonical
the three essential and emotional impediments: Age;
properties of hindrances, such as Impotence; Previous
Matrimony, namely: abduction, force, or Marriage; Disparity
Unity (that it is grave fear. Even of Religion;
exclusive and though preparations Ordination or
monogamous); are done, and the Perpetual Vow of
Indissolubility (that it guests are already Chastity; Crime;
lasts till the death of seated on the Church Consanguinity,
one of them); and benches, it is better Affinity and Quasi-
Openness to Life to have a runaway Affinity in the
(that it must be open bride than a lifetime prohibited degree;
to procreation). of misery. Error; and Deceit.

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17. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
What Is the Form of Matrimony?

q The Form of Matrimony


are the words of
Consent: “I take you to
be my wife” – “I take you
to be my husband.”

q This can be rephrased in


question-and-answer
format, where the Priest
asks to both spouses: “N.,
do you take N. here
present, for your lawful
husband/wife, according
to the rite of our Holy
Mother, the Church?” And
the spouses individually
reply: “Yes, I do.”

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate


18. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
What Are the Requirements of a Valid Form of Matrimony?
q A valid Form of Matrimony must have these essential requirements:

MUTUAL: EXTERNAL: PRESENT:


It is essential for The Form must be The Form must
the validity of declared in be expressed in
Marriage that audible words, or words which have
both parties utter in writing for the reference to
the Form, and not hearing impaired, present time;
only one side; lest the Marriage since Matrimony
because is invalid. The is not a promise
Matrimony is not internal consent of a future
a mere donation alone is commitment, but
of oneself to insufficient, since the actual union
another, but a Matrimony has of the spouses for
mutual ecclesiastical and life.
agreement. civil relevance.

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate


19. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
In Which Church Should a Marriage Be Celebrated?
q The Sacrament of Matrimony
should be celebrated in the
Parish Church in which either of
the contracting parties has resided
for at least one month; however,
they can choose any other Parish
for serious reasons.
q Reservations should be made
at least two months in
advance, to allow enough time
for preparing the necessary
documents.
q The so-called Garden
Marriages, as well as Marriages
outside Parish Churches, are not
allowed, unless with the permit of
the local Parish, where all
documentation and requirements
are prepared.
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20. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
What Are the Church’s Requirements for Marriage?
1. MARRIAGE LICENSE: To be requested from the municipal office where the parties reside; if the
couple is already civilly married, they must provide a notarized copy of their Marriage Contract.

2. BAPTISMAL CERTIFICATE: To be requested from the Parishes where the two parties were
baptized; it lasts only for six months and must have the annotation: “For Marriage Purposes.”

3. CONFIRMATION CERTIFICATE: To be requested from the Church where the two parties were
confirmed; if they were not yet confirmed, they may do so in any Catholic Church of their choice.

4. CANONICAL INTERVIEW: It is the official examination made by the Parish Priest, or by a


Priest delegated by him, to each fiancée, individually, to ascertain whether the couple is qualified
to celebrate marriage.

5. MARRIAGE BANNS: These are public announcements of the incoming Marriage to be posted for
three consecutive weeks at the Church where the Rite will take place, and at the Parishes where
the fiancées were baptized.

6. PRE-CANA SEMINAR: The couple shall attend a seminar in preparation for Marriage, either in
the Church where the Marriage will take place or elsewhere, where they must obtain a Pre-cana
Certificate.

7. CONFESSION: In order to celebrate the Sacrament of Matrimony in the state of grace, and to
properly receive Holy Communion, the couple ought to make a good Confession before the
Wedding Ceremony.

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21. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
Why Does the Bride Stand on the Left Side of the Groom?

q During the Wedding


Ceremony, the Bride
stands on the left side
of the Groom because
it is the closest to his
heart.

q God created Eve from


one rib on Adam’s left
side, which is the
closest bone to his
heart (cf. Genesis
2:22); to signify that
the Wife must have a
primary and exclusive
place in the Man’s
heart.

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22. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
What is the Meaning of the Wedding Gown and Veil?

q The white Wedding Gown


symbolizes the purity and
innocence that a Christian
Bride would preserve till the
day of her Matrimony.

q The Veil, which preserves


the Bride’s beauty, has to
be transparent and reveal
her face, in deference to
Jacob who, because of a
closed veil, mistakenly
married Leah instead of her
sister Rachel (cf. Genesis
29:25).
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23. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
What is the Meaning of the Bouquet?
q The Bouquet symbolizes fertility and the start of a
new life: as the flowers blossom with colors and seeds,
so the Bride with children and life.
q After the
wedding
reception, the
bouquet is
tossed to the
maids to wish
them good
luck for their
future
marriages.

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24. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
What is the Meaning of Joining the Right Hands?
q During the exchange of the Matrimonial Consent, the
Spouses join their right Hands to signify their total commitment
to one another.
q Traditionally, personal covenants and business contracts were
sealed by a right hand-shake, which was equivalent, if not more
binding, than the present written Marriage Contract.

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25. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
What is the Meaning of the Round-Shaped Wedding Rings?

q The Rings, made of gold or platinum, signify the


everlasting love and fidelity of the Spouses that, as a
circle, has no end.
q These are placed
on the ring-
finger because it
is believed that a
vein runs directly
from there to the
heart, and the ring
would remind the
Spouses of their
eternal covenant
of love.

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate


26. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
What is the Meaning of the Arrhae?
q The Arrhae, or
coins, that the
Groom places
on the cupped
hands of the
Bride,
symbolize the
Husband’s
responsibility of
providing for
the material
needs of the
Bride and their
future children.

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27. THE FORM OF MATRIMONY
What is the Meaning of the Marriage Veil and the Eight-Shaped Cord?

q The Marriage Veil,


placed on the
Bride’s head and
extended to the
Groom’s shoulder
symbolizes their
exclusive and
eternal love.
q The Eight-Shaped
Cord, which is
placed around the
Couple’s shoulders,
signifies the
indissolubility of
Matrimony, whose
yoke of love should
be carried together.

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“For as a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall
marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride
so shall your God rejoice in you” (Isaiah 62:5).

Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate