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Interpersonal & Group Behaviour

What is Behaviour ? :

What is Behaviour ? A word with many different definitions… probably no such thing as
an absolute definition. 1. Manner of behaving or acting. 2. Psychology, Animal Behavior.
a. observable activity in a human or animal. b. the aggregate of responses to internal and
external stimuli. 3. Often, behaviours. a behaviour pattern. (www.dictionary.com)

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At the core of this definition lie the ideas of stimulus and response. Stimuli - Sets of
circumstances or individual events. Cause people to act or react (respond) to them.

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Part I Interpersonal Behaviour

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Harmonious Interpersonal Relationships are the secret of success. “ I will pay more for
the ability to deal with people than for any other ability under the sun.” – John Rockfeller

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Different people, however, have different responses to particular stimuli. In any given
situation, different people may react in different ways. Behaviour = The sum of all of a
person's varying response styles to varying stimuli.

A Closer Look At Behaviour :

A Closer Look At Behaviour Communication Stimulus & Response – Transactional


Analysis Life Positions Johari Window
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Communication “Meanings are in people, not in words.”

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Communication - The bridge of meaning that forms the basis of understanding between
the members of an organisation. Communication connects all Human Beings. Effective
Communication is one where a message is understood in the same sense in which it has
been communicated.

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Communication : The Flow Sender Receiver

Barriers to Effective Communication :

Barriers to Effective Communication Barriers to effective communication Noise


Distractions Put downs Lack of interest Disability Discomfort with the topic Distance
Too many Questions Other people Time Language Cultural Differences

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Perceptions & Attitudes… Their Impact on Communication

Perceptions :

Perceptions Perception is a process of making sense of events – the process by which we


perceive meaning of any event. Perception and reality are not necessarily one and the
same – different people will have different perceptions.

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Perceptions influence human behaviour in a variety of ways. They qualify or evaluate


individuals or events as either – Complete or Incomplete Beautiful or Ugly Sincere or
Manipulative Fair or Unfair Precise or Exaggerated Good or Bad Reasonable or
Unreasonable
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Good communicators recognise the fact that others may not necessarily perceive their
intentions as they themselves do A classic example: Two salesmen of a shoe company
visit a remote village and make the following observations: Salesman A – “There is
absolutely no scope. No one wears shoes here !” Salesman B – “No one wears shoes here.
There is tremendous scope !” Although the event or information base is the same, the
inferences are quite different !

Attitudes :

Attitudes Attitude exercises a strong influence on human relationships in any sphere. It


essentially relates to a predisposition and concerns an individual’s likes or dislikes.
Attitudes can be both positive and negative. Positive attitude contributes to the
effectiveness of any process. Negative attitude hinders the process

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Negative attitude = Barrier. A person with the wrong attitude is often unwilling to listen
or to understand reason. Brings negative feelings that undermine the achievement of
personal and group objectives. Attitudes, however, are not necessarily permanent in
nature – it is possible, with conscious effort, to change the attitude of a person.

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Behavioural psychologists stress on the need to develop RMA – Right Mental Attitude .
People work together better by developing the RMA. Effective communication, like other
aspects of human behaviour, relies heavily on positive thinking and the RMA.

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Attitude is a decision… YOUR decision !!

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Transactional Analysis

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One of the most promising breakthroughs in psychiatry. A valuable approach to
understanding of Human Behaviour & Action. Developed by Dr Eric Berne, author of the
book ‘Games People Play’ & subsequently discussed by Dr Thomas A Harris in his book
‘ I’m OK – You’re OK ’

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Starting-point of the theory – When two people encounter each other, one of them will
speak to the other. This is called the Transaction Stimulus. The reaction from the other
person is called the Transaction Response.

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The person sending the Stimulus is called the Agent. The person who responds is called
the Respondent T.A. became the method of examining the transaction wherein: 'I do
something to you, and you do something back'.

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In any personal interaction, a study of TA is useful in understanding & appropriately


responding to varied behaviour. TA divides an individual’s personality into three Ego
States. Ego State has been defined as a constant pattern of thinking, feeling or behaving.
These states are produced by recalling past events involving real people, real times, real
places & real feelings.

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P A C PARENT EGO STATE Behaviours, thoughts & feelings copied from parents or
parent figures. ADULT EGO STATE Behaviours, thoughts & feelings which are direct
responses to the here and now. CHILD EGO STATE Behaviours, thoughts & feelings
replayed from childhood.

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The Parent State - Our ingrained voice of authority, absorbed conditioning, learning and
attitudes from when we were young. We were conditioned by our real parents, teachers,
and ALL older people, next door neighbours, aunts and uncles. Parent is made up of huge
number of hidden and overt recorded playbacks.

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Typically embodied by phrases and attitudes starting with 'how to', 'under no
circumstances', 'always' and 'never forget', 'don't lie, cheat, steal', etc, etc. Formed by
external events and influences upon us as we grow through early childhood. We can
change it, but this is easier said than done.

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The Child State - Our internal reaction and feelings to external events form the ‘Child’.
This is the seeing, hearing, feeling, and emotional body of data within each of us. When
anger or despair dominates reason, the Child is in control. Like our Parent we can change
it, but it is no easier.

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The Adult State - Our ability to think and determine action for ourselves, based on
received data. The adult in us begins to form at around ten months old. Is the means by
which we keep our Parent and Child under control. If we are to change our Parent or
Child we must do so through our adult.

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In other words: Parent is our 'Taught' concept of life. Adult is our 'Thought' concept of
life. Child is our 'Felt' concept of life.

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When we communicate we are doing so from one of our own Ego States, our P, A or C.
Our feelings at the time determine which one we use, and at any time something can
trigger a shift from one state to another. When we respond, we are also doing this from
one of the three states. It is in the analysis of these stimuli and responses that the essence
of TA lies.

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Core of Berne's theory - Effective transactions must be complementary. They must go


back from the receiving ego state to the sending ego state. For example, if the stimulus is
Parent to Child, the response must be Child to Parent, or the transaction is 'crossed', and
there will be a problem between sender and receiver.

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If a crossed transaction occurs, there is an ineffective communication. Worse still, either
or both parties will be upset. For the relationship to continue smoothly the agent or the
respondent must rescue the situation with a complementary transaction.

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In serious break-downs, there is no chance of immediately resuming a discussion about


the original subject matter. Attention is focused on the relationship. Discussion can only
continue constructively when and if the relationship is mended. TA also refers to FOUR
LIFE POSITIONS concerning one’s own self as well as others.

Life Positions :

Life Positions Life positions - Basic beliefs about self and others, which are used to
justify decisions and behaviour. These are perceptions of the world and the people that
we ‘transact’ with, as well as of ourselves. Life positions are existential positions, one of
which we are more likely to go to under stress.

I’m OK – You’re OK :

I’m OK – You’re OK Eminently desirable position. Indicates an acceptance of one’s own


self-worth as well as that of others. Positive approach in dealing with real life situations.
Person concerned shows sense of maturity & comfort in dealing with others.

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People with this attitude enjoy positions of leadership. They succeed in developing &
sustaining meaningful interpersonal relationships. Attitude Displayed - "It's no-one's
fault, blame isn't the issue - what matters is how we go forward and sort things out." (I'm
okay and you are okay - 'happy')

I’m Not OK – You’re OK :

I’m Not OK – You’re OK Relates to acceptance of others but not of self. Person suffers
from an inferiority complex – feels there is something lacking in him. Shows a
shortcoming in dealing with real life situations. Will be submissive or passive. Often
display subservient attitude.

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Often look up to others for advice & seek constant guidance. Display lack of confidence
in their own abilities. Attitude Displayed – I’m to blame (You are okay and I'm not okay
– ‘helpless’).

I’m OK – You’re Not OK :

I’m OK – You’re Not OK Relates to acceptance of self but not of others. Feels there is
something lacking in others. Suffers from superiority complex. Is aggressive & even
intimidating. Tries to dominate and tends to give unsolicited advice to others. Displays
Attitude - You are to blame (I'm okay and you are not okay - 'angry').

I’m Not OK – You’re Not OK :

I’m Not OK – You’re Not OK Refers to rejection of both self & others. Nothing is right.
Something is lacking in them and in others as well. Opposite of “ I’m OK – You’re OK ”
kind of person. Visibly negative & pessimistic approach. Undermine themselves as well
as others.

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Look down upon others, and do not give others credit for positive developments. Does
not see the positive side of anything. Not capable of becoming an effective leader.
Displays Attitude - We are both to blame (I’m not okay and you are not okay –
‘hopeless’).

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Against backdrop of these Life Positions, TA attempts to analyse a transaction.


Transaction forms a basic unit of communication – stimulus by one person and response
by another. Transactions take place each time people meet or a communication takes
place.

The Three Transactions :

The Three Transactions Three Categories: Complementary – Smooth conversations with


expected responses emanating. Crossed – Unexpected response, breakdown in
communication. Hidden – Words spoken do not express real meanings. Real responses
conveyed through facial expressions or other actions.

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Understanding life positions from which a person operates is essential for making
communication effective. Knowledge of human behaviours and of transaction types helps
to enhance the interpersonal skills of an individual.

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The Johari Window

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A cognitive psychological tool created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955. Used
for helping people better understand their interpersonal communication and relationships.

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(Arena) (Façade)

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Desirable Behaviour: Be A Winner

Smile :

Smile Cheerfulness flows from goodness. A smile reflects friendliness & openness. It
takes more muscles to frown than to smile. It is easier to smile than to frown. Smile often
& make it a habit.

Show Respect :

Show Respect We all want respect, no matter what age we are, no matter what position
we hold or what job function we do. The key is to know that each person, no matter how
long they've worked or how adept their skill-set, deserves respect, because we are all
human beings.

Kindness :

Kindness Anyone who thinks that kindness isn't a necessity in today's work environment
isn't thinking. Kindness is one of the most important skills in dealing with people of all
ages. Every living thing responds to kindness. Use this skill for good results in handling
people. Help others whenever you possibly can.

Control Bad Feelings :

Control Bad Feelings People come to work not only with their hands & heads, but also
their hearts. They come not only with knowledge, wisdom & intelligence, but also
feelings & emotions. Dealing with other people requires control over moods !

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Any work situation is a mix of positive & negative, good & bad strokes. Good
Interpersonal skills require underplaying negative strokes & not letting them spoil one’s
temper. Learn to rise above bad feelings coming from any quarter and do not let these
show up or hinder dealings with people.

Responsibility :

Responsibility Accept responsibility. Responsible behavior is to accept accountability. It


represents maturity and sincerity. Acceptance of responsibility is a reflection of our
attitude.

Mind Your Language ! :

Mind Your Language ! Language counts. Choose what you say rather than say what you
choose. Your point won’t come across any better if you use rude, derogatory, or obscene
language, no matter whom you’re addressing. Talk like a professional and you’ll be seen
and treated as one.

Admit Mistakes :

Admit Mistakes When we make a mistake, we should accept it immediately & willingly.
Some people live & learn while others live & never learn. Learn from mistakes. The
greatest mistake a person can make is to repeat it.

Avoid Arguments :

Avoid Arguments Discuss. Don’t argue. It is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one
wins, the cost may be more than the victory is worth. It will take you nowhere & the
more you argue with people, the more they distance away from you. Emotional battles
leave a residual ill will even if you win.

Avoid Gossip :

Avoid Gossip Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves nothing unsaid.
Keep gossip or hurtful information to yourself. Do not spread rumors or encourage them.
Gossiping is against the principles of kindness. Would you like someone to gossip about
you?

Respect Privacy :

Respect Privacy Do not eavesdrop on anyone. It is a RUDE thing to do ! Give each


individual the space he or she is due, as you would expect to be given your own space
and privacy. Respect their individuality and privacy.

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Do not encourage or indulge in politics at workplace …

Refrain from Politics ! :

Refrain from Politics ! Indulging in Office Politics is against the accepted norms of
Etiquettes… Refrain from getting involved in such politics.

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Practice

Leave gender out of the equation :

Leave gender out of the equation Coworkers are peers, regardless of gender. Be sensitive
towards female colleagues. Of course, dirty jokes, off-color remarks, and discussion of
certain private matters are an absolute no-no. Period.

Integrity :
Integrity Maintain your integrity at all times. When you make a promise or give your
word, you need to follow through on it. If you are unable to keep the promise or fulfill the
commitment, you must be prepared to make amends and set things right.

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Remember… Trust is fragile... Very easily broken and very difficult to regain. Only
People with integrity are the people we can trust !

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Part II Group & Team Behaviour

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"It's possible to achieve almost anything as long as you are not worried about who gets
the credit." – Harry S. Truman

Why do people join a group? :

Why do people join a group? GROUP SYNERGY Refers to the idea that two heads (or
more) are better than one; OR "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts," which also
refers to group synergy. Groups are often capable of producing higher quality work and
better decisions than can an individual working alone.

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SUPPORT & COMMITMENT Group may be more willing to take on a large project
than would an individual. With increased ability to perform work, group can provide
encouragement and support to its members while working on a big project.

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SOCIAL GROUPS While all groups will have both social and task dimensions, some
groups are predominantly social in their orientation. Examples of these groups would be
families and social clubs. These provide for our safety & solidarity needs and they help
us develop self-esteem.
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WORK GROUPS Work groups function to complete a particular task. The task
dimension is emphasized. Group members pool their expertise to accomplish the task.
Examples - Workplaces, Campus Organizations, or Juries etc.

Tuckman's Group Development Theory :

Tuckman's Group Development Theory 1. Forming 2. Storming 3. Norming 4.


Performing 5. Adjourning Forming - Group members learn about each other and the task
at hand. Storming - As group members become more comfortable with each other, they
will engage each other in arguments and vie for status in the group. These activities mark
the storming phase.

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Norming - Group members establish implicit or explicit rules about how they will
achieve their goal. They address the types of communication that will or will not help
with the task. Performing - Groups reach a conclusion and implement the conclusion.
Adjourning - As the group project ends, the group disbands in the adjournment phase.

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Teamwork / Workgroup Essentials

Goals / Objectives :

Goals / Objectives The common Goal / Objective is always more important than the
individual role !

Working Together :

Working Together Together we can achieve a lot more than an individual can.

Roles :

Roles All team members play a vital role where they add value with their contributions.
The idea is to focus on common objectives and not fight for credit.
Leadership :

Leadership Strong leadership is vital to team success. Gives the team direction and
confidence.

Shared Values :

Shared Values Shared values & beliefs hold a team together. They define and give
identity to a team.

Dependability :

Dependability Members must be able to count on each other when it really matters.

Communication :

Communication Interaction fuels action. Members must be able to communicate with


each other freely. Communication must be constructive.

The Links in the Chain :

The Links in the Chain The strength of the Team is Impacted by its weakest link.

The Bad Apple :

The Bad Apple Bad Attitudes ruins a team !

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