My Love

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AUGUSTINE’S CONVERSION AS VIEWED FROM THE

RELIGIOUS EXISTENTIALISM OF KIERKEGAARD
A Thesis submitted to the

Casiciaco Recoletos Seminary
In Partial Fulfillment of the

Requirements for the Degree
Bachelor of Arts in Classical Philosophy
by
BRO. MARK ANTHONY A. CANDA
Baguio City, Philippines
June 2016
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER PAGE
I INTRODUCTION
Background of the study . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Statement of the problem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Scope and Limitation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Significance of the study . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Review of the Related Literature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Synthesis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Methodology . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Thesis Structure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
BIBLIOGRAPHY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
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Chapter I
INTRODUCTION
1.1 Background of the Study

In every era there are certain great personalities who leave their mark on the
history and culture of mankind. Men who personally influence the ways in which their
contemporaries think, act, live and die,1 the likes of Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa
of Calcutta and other great religious men and women in the twentieth century. However
the fundamental question to be asked, is how long their popularity and influence last.
No one knows.
If we hear a description of a man who is licentious, inquisitive, ambitious and
popular, we immediately think of Augustine. He is a known a sinner yet, he became a
prominent catholic bishop, a great doctor of the church and lastly a great saint
“Augustine was born in Numidia in extra territorial pro-consular roman North Africa on
the 13th of November 354.”2 He set an inspiring example during his time and even in the
future centuries including the contemporary age to keep alive the fire of Christian
culture and even help in the progress of the western civilization.
A sinner who became a great saint, this title of Augustine made him very
popular throughout the generation. It is because humanity is not exempted on this
reality of spiritual unease (restlessness) that is why we can see in the life of Augustine
that he was engaged in so many confusions. Although Augustine is blessed with
superior intellectual capacity, the more he learned and discerned on things the more he
deviated from the real track of finding the truth. That is why he pleaded, “Oh God let
me know myself and let me know you.”3
Augustine experienced so many dilemmas in life that he even became a
Manichean. “Instead of embracing the Christian faith, Augustine, at the age of 29 in 373
1
St. Augustine, “The confession of St. Augustine”, Trans and Ed by Albert c. Outler, Ph.D., D.D
(New York, Mentor Omega, 1963), 1. http://faculty.georgetown.edu/jod/augustine/conf, pdf.
2
Fr. Jose Ernil Almayo OAR, Notes in Augustinology: ad usum Studentium (Casiciaco
Recoletos Seminary: Baguio City, 2007), 47.
3
St. Augustine. “The Confesion.” Trans Maria Boulding, OSB. Ed.John E. Retelle, OSA. (Hyde
park: New York, 1997), 19.
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joined a sect called Manichean;”4 Manichaeism attracted Augustine because it taught
differently the harsh but strangely comforting doctrine5. Here Augustine was taught
ideologies, against the wishes of his mother Monica. Manichaeism taught him false
doctrines like “the doctrine of sex was synonymous with the darkness and it bore the
marks of an evil creator”6 that “the world was in a struggle between the substance of
light and of darkness;”7 and that “the human soul was a part of light trapped in the area
of darkness.”8
Augustine’s quest for the truth and his restlessness was indeed a rough journey.
The internalization of the outside and the inside (interiority) gave him so many
realization. And part of it was the realization of how we can achieve the authenticity of
the self and the truth. However, there is a question which says; is the conversion of
Augustine an experience of religious Existentialism? It is because Augustine’s
experience of inwardness, being in the region of despair, and loneliness are parallels to
what the religious existentialism advocates.
“The twentieth-century philosophy now known as existentialism has its roots in
the ninetieth century in the writings of Soren Kierkegaard and Friedrich Nietzsche.”9
Although these philosophers have a radical difference with each other because
Kierkegaard is a passionate Christian and Nietzsche is a passionate atheist, they shared
huge philosophical convictions as existentialists. “Developing the themes that later
characterized the existentialist movement, they both asserted the importance of passion
over reason, subjectivity, and importance of the individual person over the abstract
universal or the personal crowd.”10
4
Fr. Jose Ernil Almayo,OAR, Notes in Augustinology, ad usum Studentium Volume 2.
(Casiciaco Recoletos Seminary: Baguio City, 2007), 7.
5
Fr. Jose Ernil Amayo,OAR, Notes in Augustinology, ad usum Studentium . (Casiciaco
6
Ibid.
7
Ibid.
8
Ibid.
9
William F. Lawhead, “The Voyage of Discovery: A History of Western Philosophy” (Belmont,
CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company, 1996), 416.
10
Ibid.
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Soren Kierkegaard was recognized as the father of the religious existentialism.
The life of Kierkegaard is very similar to what Augustine had, from a passionate
playboy to a passionate Christian, from a passionate scoundrel to a passionate shepherd
of the church. On the account of Kierkegaard’s life stages Augustine’s conversion is
also parallel to this “For Kierkegaard, the word existence has special meaning. It is the
process of realizing what it means to be self through personal choices. It is what
contemporary existentialists refer to as authentic existence.”11
The modern notion of religious existentialism which is authenticated through
“momentous option”12 and the stages of life is also experienced by Augustine in his
confession (pick it up and read).
“I went on talking like this and weeping in the intense bitterness of my broken
heart. Suddenly I heard a voice from a house a nearby perhaps a voice some boys or girl, do
not know singing over and over again ‘Pick it up and read’ my expression immediately
altered and I began to think hard and wither children ordinarily repeated a ditty like this in
any sort of game, but I could not recall ever having heard it anywhere else I returned where
Alypius was sitting, for on leaving it I had put down there the book of the apostle’s letters. I
snatched it up, opened it and read it in silence the passage on which my eyes first lighted: not
in dissipation and drunkenness, nor in debauchery and lewdness, nor in arguing and jealousy;
but put on the lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh or the gratification of
your desires. I had no wish to read further, nor was there need. No sooner had I reached the
end of the verse than the light of certainty flooded my heart and all dark shades of doubt fled
away.”13
With this Augustine also executed his personal choice, despite the toughness of
the situation. Augustine here found himself grieving that he went on weeping in the
intense bitterness of his broken heart.14 Augustine’s choice to open up and read the
passages of the book of apostle Paul, guided by the voice of the little child and the
conversion of Anthony of Egypt made his self-turn ninety degree or the happenings
ultimate conversion. Soren Kierkegaard once said that a man whose physical being is
always tuned toward the outside, thinking that happiness lies outside of him, finally
turns inward and discovers the source with him. Although not directly stated to what
11
12
Ibid, 489.
13
St. Augustine. “The Confession” Trans Maria Boulding, OSB. Ed.John E. Retelle, OSA.
(Hyde park: New York, 1997), 207.
14
Ibid.
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called interiority, Augustine also relates because he is known for his desire and search
for truth; he begins his turn to himself and finding no one except God and the way
towards God.
On Kierkegaard’s analysis of what is human experience, he articulates that each
individual encounters three essential kinds of assurances: the aesthetic, the ethical, and
the religious. This scheming of human experience for him signifies that individuals
cannot run from this essential circulation of the self. One may appear to have an excuse
of not recognizing this reality but according to Kierkegaard it will be a good attempt to
start the beginning of renewal of the self. Kierkegaard sometimes calls this analysis as
view of life, existential categories, existence spheres, mode of existing and lastly stages
of life. For Kierkegaard, “it is an individual journey in which the tensions in one sphere
of existence are overcome by an individual’s passionate choice (or leap) to an alternate
form of life.”15 Here the goal of Kierkegaard is not to rationalize and give concrete
conception yet an existential adequate life, as agent seeks to escape despair by
becoming an integrated, authentic self. “The inadequacy of one stage of existence
makes itself felt in the experience of despair and this drives us on to the next stage.”16
The notion of despair for Kierkegaard is the ultimate drive to have this dynamic of
moving from one stage to another. “Kierkegaard believes that as we progress through
each stage, we will be moving in the direction of becoming a fully developed self, a
goal that can only be found at the religious stage.”17
Although there are so many recent existing issues that the researcher can expose,
what intrigues him the most is to continue his study on Augustine’s conversion as an
experience of religious existentialism, because the researcher wishes to find out the
reality of Augustine’s conversion and its relationship to an experience of religious
existentialism according to the view of Kierkegaard. Also the researcher is interested to
pursue this study because he believes that the notion of religious existentialism,
15
16
Ibid.
17
William F. Lawhead, “The Voyage of Discovery: A History of Western Philosophy”
(Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company, 1996), 425.
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primarily on the account of stages and life’s way is already embedded in every
individual that he likes to know and expose where he belongs. Lastly, he laid this
research to widen the thought of the readers and to expand the source of Kierkegaard’s
religious existentialism.
1.2 Statement of the Problem
Every man is a pilgrim, a sojourner of this world. Thus, he needs to answer how
he can finish it? Or what is the purpose of his life? That is why; the researcher
formulates the questions based on the experience of St. Augustine because he himself
was able to answer it through his struggles and particularly through his famous
conversion. To reinforce the reason of the researcher in solving this problem, he
formulates the main question on his study of Augustine’s conversion as viewed from the
Religious Existentialism of Kierkegaard. Through the careful weighing of evidence and
also by the help of related literature, the researcher will answer the following questions:
1.2.1 What is Kierkegaard’s Religious Existentialism?
1.2.2 What was Augustine’s experience of conversion?
1.2.3 How can Augustine’s conversion be viewed as religious existentialism?
1.3 Scope and Limitations of the Study

The study mainly dwells on the evaluation of Augustine’s experience of
conversion parallel to the religious existentialism of Soren Kierkegaard. Thus, the
researcher employed a developmental study on Augustine’s conversion and the religious
existentialism of Kierkegaard.
The research dwells on Augustine’s conversion as viewed from the religious
existentialism of Soren Kierkegaard. Thus, on the account of Augustine, the researcher
utilizes the book Confession and Notes in Augustinology as the primary sources of the
study. Different commentaries particularly on the conversion of Augustine are also
included.
On the account of Kierkegaard’s doctrine of Religious existentialism in which
the word existentialism is the beacon of this research, Soren Kierkegaard’s religious
existentialism is the principal point of this study. The book Kierkegaard of Patrick
Gardener serves as the researcher’s primary source of Kierkegaard’s religious
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existentialism. Some works of Kierkegaard are also utilized particularly the “life’s way
and stages” “Fear and Trembling” and “Either/ Or”. Also the researcher includes some
commentaries about Soren Kierkegaard’s religious existentialism, father of religious
existentialism and his influences.
In this study the researcher gives attention to the account of Augustine’s
conversion, teaching and insights about his conversion. The researcher will not cover all
the areas of Augustine’s life particularly on his philosophical teachings. The researcher
also admits that he is just a beginner in learning the Latin language. Any other
translation of the book Confession is not included. Only the English translation will be
used.
On Kierkegaard’s religious existentialism, the researcher sets the limitation of
the study: any existential concept outside the realm of Soren Kierkegaard’s religious
existentialism is not included. The researcher also employs Augustine and Kierkegaard
as principal philosophers.
1.4 Significance of the Study

Augustine is one of the most prominent doctors of the church. He had so many
works that are influential even up to the present. Among all his works, Confessions is
one of the most influential. Although that book is just an autobiography, yet it contains
many philosophical and theological insights.
Also, in this study the researcher will expose the given problem: Augustine’s
conversion as viewed in the Religious Existentialism of Kierkegaard. He aims to point
out the relationship of the conversion and the modern view of religious existentialism.
By this, he will try to show the elements towards the truth.
For the people in the society who are frequently experiencing the flow of
modernization and disillusions of the material world, the study will make them realize
that spiritual matters can show them back from their lost path and plans. Also this study
will help them on their own spiritual unease. Moreover, they will be able to compare
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their experience to what Augustine had. This study will also aid them to view their own
status of spiritual journey
For the religious men and women, this study will serve as basis in their pursuit
of holiness. This study will also aid them evaluate their personal spiritual journey. Also,
the study will help them to understand the value of everyday conversion.
For the seminarians, this study will help them to appreciate the different
situations in their seminary life, especially on account of Kierkegaard’s life way; so they
may evaluate their personal view on what stage they are now, thereby directing their
journey towards daily conversion.
1.5 Review of Related Literature

1.5.1 Introduction
The main theme of this study will be Augustine’s conversion in relation to an
experience of religious existentialism. At present, existentialists picture themselves as
the “lonely individualist” in this common world. This claim is not futile to what St.
Augustine had experienced before his conversion. He himself also became a lonely
individualist on his search for truth by the fact that Augustine did not remain in his
hometown in Thagaste but he traveled to many places alone wishing to quench his
intellectual and spiritual unease. His conversion inspires popularity throughout the
generations and for him it can mean two things: an abrupt change in religious attitude,
accompanied by a highly emotional experience or passing over from one perspective of
reality to another.
1.5.2. Kierkegaard’s Religious Existentialism
This section investigates studies of different scholars on topics that will enable
the researcher to answer the guide questions of the study. These are the main
discussions under this section. First is on the discussion of Kierkegaard’s Religious
Existentialism. Second is Augustine’s experience of conversion. Third is the analysis of
how Augustine’s conversion can be viewed as religious existentialism.
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Kierkegaard’s religious existentialism is deeply rooted in the idea of
existentialism. Although Kierkegaard employs the notion of Religiosity yet the
fundamental elements of existentialism are already embedded. Greene pointed out that
philosophy nowadays is more stylish that even its fundamental definition became more
elusive. Proponents of existentialism proclaim that existentialists insist that the most
essential tenet of their philosophy is optimism because in their doctrine: it is man who
makes himself. A person may agree with the existentialist that the term, although it is
over used, is nearly meaningless except perhaps for a vague sense that this moment, like
others, expresses the collapse in our time of certain formerly cherished conventions.
Moreover Heppenstall agrees with Greene’s conception of existentialism. The
perils to be found in Christian existentialism are neither obvious nor easily discerned.
“On the contrary, existentialism claims relevancy and involvement in the whole of
man’s existence. The word “existentialism” is an extension of the word existence.” For
centuries, the approach in philosophy has reduced the world of persons, including God
and man to mere objects of thoughts as concepts set forth in the categories of language.
Existentialism is a revolt against the attempt to get at the meaning of life through ideas.
After discussing the fundamental elements of existentialism, its properties and
claims about truth, Watkin moves to discuss the life of Kierkegaard. Watkin illustrates
Kierkegaard and characterizes him as a Christian thinker, but it must at the outset, also
attempts to deal with the question of interpretation and make clear its own methodology.
Thus in order to make proper contact with Kierkegaard‘s own personal and cultural
background, and the development of his vocation as religious, we can turn to the details
of Kierkegaard personal life, n to his usual family background where we again one can
see stability and conflict.”18
She added that paradoxically, Soren Kierkegaard lived at a time of stability and
conflict that applied as much to his own home as to the surrounding world. He was born
in Denmark (1800-70), an age that was stable enough to produce an unprecedented
flowering in the arts and sciences. Yet this age also saw a dramatic transition from rural
serfdom to the modern world. There were a number of disasters due to Denmark’s
18
Julia Watkin. “Kierkegaard” (G, chapman, London: New York, 1997), 6.
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catastrophic entanglement in the Napoleonic war. The French revolution of 27 July
1830 also led political rising up disturbances throughout Europe.
Likewise, Lawhead highlighted the fundamental tenets of modern
existentialism, which he states “Existentialism is the movement that asserted the
importance of passion over reason, subjectivity over objectivity and importance of the
individual person over abstract universal or the impersonal crowd.”19 Moreover,
Lawhead discusses the reason why Soren Kierkegaard is recognized as the father of
existentialism and how he arrived at the idea of having this life’s stages as the
conclusion of religious existentialism. Kierkegaard’s analysis of human experience, that
every individual faces the option of choosing between three fundamental kinds of
commitments: the aesthetic, ethical and the religious stage.20 For Kierkegaard, he
believes that as the individual progresses through each stage, it also involves a direction
of becoming a fully developed self, a goal that can only be found at the religious stage.
Moreover, in the discussion of how Kierkegaard comes up with this doctrine of
Religious Existentialism, Patrick Gardener states that “Kierkegaard distinguishes three
basic modes or spheres of existence: the aesthetic the ethical and the religious”21
1.5.3 Augustine’s Experience of Religious Existentialism

Augustine’s experience of conversion took place over half a lifetime.
According to Lewis, conversion can mean two things: an abrupt change to religious
attitude, accompanied by a highly emotional experience, or passing over from one
perspective of reality to another. Sometimes it may be understood as bringing comfort, a
change from a lost and godless state to a god-filled, peaceful condition where one’s life
is put into order. Moreover Macfague states that the great conversions- those saints of
the church as Paul, Augustine John Woolman and Dorothy Day- bring not comfort, at
least not in any superficial sense, demand a courage, a willingness to risk and suffer.
19
20
Ibid, 425.
21
Patrick Gardiner “Kierkegaard” (Oxford University press: 1988), 40.
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Furthermore Lewis enumerated every possible stage and way of St.
Augustine’s conversion. Certainly this will appear to be the case with St. Augustine,
whose conversion took place over half a life time. Indeed he was one of the most
controversial men. His youthful conversion to the pursuit of wisdom was followed by
conversion to Manichaeism, then to Neo-Platonism and finally to Christianity. Each of
them left their imprint on his intellectual and spiritual development.
Moreover O’Connel, gives a new perspective of Augustine’s conversion “The
prodigal’s story then is Augustine’s when he tells us that on the occasion of reading the
Hortensius, he had already begun to rise up and return to God”22 Augustine puts this
much at least beyond question: he situates his aversion from God as occurring before
his reading of the Hortensius.
1.5.4 Augustine Conversion viewed as Religious Existentialism.
On answering question number three, How can Augustine’s conversion be
viewed as religious Existentialism?-Lewis discusses the history of existentialism, its
modern view and its relationship to Augustine. If the contemporary existentialist as
lonely individualist is a unique world of his own, it may seem futile to compare him
with anyone as ancient as Augustine. But James Collins cautions in studying
existentialism: There is a danger of so foreshortening the historical perspective that its
roots in the philosophical tradition are overlooked. The kind of approach favored by
existentialists is not entirely thinkers.
A warning may be needed on the other hand; however J.V.I Casserley says he
finds more than striking parallels to existentialism in Augustine. He contends that
“existentialism is not really modern at all, but the heir of a long philosophical
tradition”23 and of the traditional existentialist in that tradition which is none other than
St. Augustine.
In addition, Lewis cited that Augustine’s experience seems to indicate such a
point of view. His Confession expresses the incessant restlessness of the individual
22
Robert J. O’Connel, SJ, “Images of conversion in St. Augustine’s Conversion” (Fordham
University Press: New York, 1996), 252
23
Gordon Lewis Ph.d “Augustine and Existentialism,” http:// biblicalstudies.org.uk/pdf
/bets/vol08/8-1_lewis.pdf--
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separated from God. He sought pleasure, honor and truth not in God the creator, but in
the creatures. His childhood was filled with temper tantrums, pride, inexcusable
jealousies, lies and lust. Mentally as well as morally he was restless. Like a character
from a novel, Augustine at the age of thirty was filled with increasing anxiety,
increasing trembling, loathing a self, and an internal war.” Inwardly consumed and
confounded he writes, I became a fruitful land.24
1.5.5 Synthesis
The related literature of this research discussed two major themes namely the
experience of conversion of Augustine and the religious existentialism of Soren
Kierkegaard with a simple conclusion of the co-relation of the two concepts.
The first theme focused on the different presentations of authors on how the
conversion of Augustine occurs and its relationship to existentialism. This showed that
the famous conversion of Augustine was accepted and related by authors to
existentialism.
The second theme is a gathering of related literature in Soren Kierkegaard’s
religious existentialism.
The related literature presented the ideas and concepts of different philosophers
and scholars who showed that Kierkegaard’s religious existentialism was relevant to
specific studies especially on an individual.
1.6 Methodology
The researcher used the qualitative design for his study. Qualitative design is
method described if the data is not set in numbers. 25The researcher is obliged to look at
the historical background of these two philosophers and their parallelism of their
24
Gordon Lewis Ph.D. “Augustine and Existentialism,” http:// biblicalstudies.org.uk/pdf
/bets/vol08/8-1_lewis.pdf--
25
Emmanuel D. Batoon, A guide to Thesis Writing in Philosophy Part One-Proposal Writing
(Manila, Philippines: REJN Publishing, 2005), 23.
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philosophies. This study is also qualitative in nature because everything that the
researcher used is purely based on the related literature and studies.
The researcher uses method of expository. An expository study is respectable

study provided it makes known what is hidden in a philosopher’s concept, not a mere
rehashing of what is already known about a philosopher’s concept. 26 Expository
because the researcher tries to expose every details of Augustine’s conversion and Soren
Kierkegaard’s religious existentialism. Chapter two to four of the study employ the
expository.
The researcher will gather data and information through internet and library
research. Most of the researcher’s sources come from e-books, published PDFS and few
secondary sources from the main library of Casiciaco Recoletos Seminary. Books,
unpublished studies and researches, journals, and other forms of information will serve
as the researcher's sources on St. Augustine’s conversion and on Kierkegaard’s religious
existentialism.
1.7 Thesis Structure
The study is organized into five chapters. Each of the chapter guides the reader to
know more about the experience of Augustine and Soren Kierkegaard’ philosophy.
Every chapter of the study aims to guide the readers to be more familiar of every detail
of Augustine experiences and Kierkegaard’s religious existentialism.
The first chapter consists of the background of the study, statement of the problem,
scope and limitations, significance of the study, review of the related literature,
synthesis, methodology, and thesis structure.
The second chapter discusses Kierkegaard’s religious existentialism and under this
the sub-problem are Kierkegaard’s life and influences followed by his doctrine of
religious existentialism. In this chapter the researcher will utilize those related literature
and studies that are helpful in his study.
26
Emmanuel D. Batoon, A guide to Thesis Writing in Philosophy Part One-Proposal Writing
(Manila, Philippines: REJN Publishing, 2005), 11.
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The third chapter discusses Augustine’s experience of conversion, the factors/
situations/stages in Augustine’s conversion journey and his response and his
teachings/insights/ realizations on his experience of conversion. Also in this chapter the
researcher will utilize those related literature and studies that are helpful in his study.
The fourth chapter includes the discussion of how Augustine’s conversion can be
viewed as religious existentialism - the aesthetic, ethical and lastly religious stage. Then
in this chapter the researcher will utilize those available books and literatures in the
main library of Casiciaco Recoletos Seminary that are significant in presenting the main
objective of the study.
The last chapter is composed of the recommendations for further studies.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Primary sources
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Books
Almayo OAR, Rev. Fr. Jose Ernil. Notes in Augustinology. Vol 1, ad usum
studentium Casiciaco Recoletos Seminary: Baguio City. 2007.
____________Notes in Augustinology. Vol 2, ad usum studentium

Casiciaco Recoletos Seminary: Baguio City. 2007.
Augustine. “The Confession” Trans Maria Boulding, OSB. Ed. John E. Retelle, OSA.
Park: NewYork. 1997.
Grene, Marjorie. “Introduction To Existentialism.” University of Chicago. 1948.
Gardiner Patrick .“Kierkegaard” Oxford University press: 1988.
Lawhead, William F. The Voyage of Discovery. Belmont, USA: Wadsworth

Publishing. 1996.
New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition, Luke 6:31. Pauline’s Philippines. 2004.
O’Connel, SJ, Robert “Images of Conversion in St. Augustine’s Conversion

Fordham University Press New York. 1996.
Watkin Julia. “kierkegaard” G.Chapman, London:New York, 1997
Electronic Documents
Lewis,Ph.D Gordon. “Augustine and Existentialism.”

http://biblicalstudies.org.uk/pdf/bets/vol08/8-1_lewis.pdf. Accessed on
September 28. 2015
Outler C. Ph.D, Albert. The Confession of St. Augustine. New York, Mentor Omega
1963. http://faculty.georgetown.edu/jod/augustine/conf.pdf Accessed on
September 28. 2015
Chapter II
2.1 Introduction
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This chapter will discuss the life and influences of Soren Kierkegaard. This will
include his doctrine of religious existentialism. The investigation will solely revolve on
Kierkegaard’s notion of religious existentialism. Primarily, the goal of this chapter is to
understand and expose the dynamics and notions of Kierkegaard’s religious
existentialism. This chapter will also involve the tracing of Soren Kierkegaard’s cultural
and family background and also the influences of his thought development. This will
help the researcher to analyze the concrete implication of Soren Kierkegaard’s religious
existentialism.
2.2 Kierkegaard’s Life

When we turn to the details of Kierkegaard’s personal life, our attention is at
once drawn to his usual family background, where again one can see stability and
conflict. It is important, therefore to give all elements their due - the religious contrasts
and their relationship to the family’s social background.
Paradoxically, Soren Kierkegaard lived at a time of stability and conflict, a
stability and conflict that applied as much to his own home as to the surrounding world.
He belongs to Denmark’s golden age (1800-70), an age that was stable enough to
produce an unprecedented flowering in the arts and sciences.27 Yet, this age also saw a
dramatic transition from rural serfdom to the modern world, while there is a disaster due
chiefly to Denmark’s catastrophic entanglement in the Napoleonic wars.
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard was born on May 5th 1813 in Copenhagen.28 He was
the seventh and last child of wealthy hosier, Michael Pedersen Kierkegaard and Ane
Sørensdatter Lund, a former household servant and distant cousin of Michael
Kierkegaard.29 Although this marriage was his second time after a year of his first wife’s
death and four months into Anne Lund’s first pregnancy. Michael Kierkegaard was
deeply a melancholic man, sternly religious. 30 Søren Kierkegaard often lamented that
27
Frederick Coplestone S.J, “A History of Philosophy 18th & 19th Century German Philosophy”
(London: New York Continuum, 2003), 338.
28
Patrick Gardener “Kierkegaard” (Oxford University press: 1988), 40.
29
William McDonald. “Soren Kierkegaard,” http://www.iep.utm.edu/kierkega/.com, University
of New England Australia
30
Ibid.
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he had never had a childhood of carefree spontaneity, but that he had been "born old."
As a starving shepherd boy on the Jutland heath Michael had cursed God. His surname
derived from the fact that his family was indentured to the parish priest, who provided a
piece of the church (Kirke) farm (Gaard) for the family’s use.
The name Kierkegaard (in older spelling Kierkegaard) more commonly means
'churchyard’ or ‘cemetery.’ A sense of doom and death seemed to hover over Michael
Kierkegaard for most of his 82 years.31 Although his wheel of fortune seems to turn very
smoothly, yet Michael is swayed that he is the cause why his family suffered from a
curse. He predicted that his children would soon experience death by the age that Jesus
Christ attained. With his seven children only Soren and Peter were spared by the curse.
His suffering ended the moment he was summoned to Copenhagen at the age of
12 by his uncle and was asked to labor as a merchant of the cloth trading that was
owned by his uncle. Michael was able to find his perfect time that at the age of 24 he
was entrusted to continue the job not as a laborer but a new business owner. After all his
efforts of maintaining the business at a young age, he was able to retire from the
position and enjoy the fruits of his labor. After his retirement he dedicated his life in
studying theology, philosophy, and literature. Michael left his son not only with material
things but also with skills such as sharp intellect. He also left some emotional depicts on
his sons, the unfathomable guilt and the relentless burden of melancholy.32
Kierkegaard was severely raised by his father into a strict upbringing that is why
although they are fortunate, Kierkegaard appeared in his school as a boy with plain and
unfashionable stature. He was sent to one of Copenhagen’s best schools, The School of
Civic Virtue [Borgerdydskolen], to receive a classical education. More than twice as
much time was devoted to Latin in this school than to any other subject. Søren
distinguished himself academically at school, especially in Latin and history, though
according to his classmates he struggled with Danish composition.33
The encompassing journey of Kierkegaard was ended after his famous battle
against the church of Danish people. It was morning in October 1855 that Kierkegaard
31
Ibid.
32
Patrick Gardiner “Kierkegaard” (Oxford University press: 1988), 6
33
Soren Kierkegaard, Tuesday, December 3 1946-substantive revision July 27, 2012,
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/kierkegaard.
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suddenly lost his consciousness and collapsed while he was walking.34 After a few
weeks of that said incident, he died on November 11. Even if he was already dead, his
legacy caused minor riots during his funeral mass when his brother Peter Kierkegaard
stated on his behalf that he was confused during those days.35 However some of the
students and minors grumbled to his brother’s apology to the church.
And to summarize Kierkegaard’s view of life these words are the best to point it out.
It is quite true what Philosophy says: that Life must be understood backwards.
But that makes one forget the other saying: that it must be lived—forwards. The more
one ponders this, the more it comes to mean that life in the temporal existence never
becomes quite intelligible, precisely because at no moment can I find complete quiet to
take the backward- looking position.36
2.3 Kierkegaard’s Influences

Although Kierkegaard’s academic studies influenced his thought, the spirit of
his writings arose from his three major turning points and his favorite teachers and
philosophers. The first turning point of his life is all about his inherited melancholy
from his father; second is the sacrificial love of Regine Olsen; and lastly the public
affair with the Corsair and the attack on Christendom. Other influences on Kierkegaard
are these personalities like Hegel, Martesen and Andersen. And for his favorite
Philosophers whom he indebted half of his philosophical views are Plato and Socrates.
These events and personalities are very important because they played a very important
role in Kierkegaard’s personal maturity and self-understanding.
1.2.3.1 Father and Son: Inherited Melancholy

Here was a relationship between a father and a son secretly discovering
everything afterwards yet does not acknowledge it. The father is a respectable man and
God fearing. Only once, in a state of intoxication does he let a few drops of words
which hint at the worst. Otherwise the son does not discover what it is and never ask the
fathers or others about it 37
34
Paul Roubiczek, “Existentialism for and Againts” (Cambrigde University Press, 1996), 56.
35
Frederick Coplestone, “A History of Philosophy 18th & 19th Century German
Philosophy”(London: New York Continuum Press, 2003), 338.
36
37
Soren Kierkegaard, “Journal and papers” (Bloomington, Indiana University press, 1967), 78.
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Michael Pedersen Kierkegaard (1756-1838) Soren’s father, started his life as a
very poor boy in Saedding in western Jutland. But because of hard work and good luck,
he became successful in business that he was able to retire at the age of 40. He was also
a deeply religious protestant, but his life was tortured by morbid sense of guilt for all his
moral failure.
Furthermore, Soren inherited from his father the three major character traits: a
vivid imagination, a strong sense of dialectic and logic and a dark religious melancholy.
Each aspect played an important role in the development of Soren’s psyche, leaving him
ambivalent about his father’s effect on him. At some point Soren would praise him and
at some point would describe his stern, oppressive religious upbringing to be crazy.
The shattering prodigal-son-like encounter of Soren Kierkegaard is encapsulated
in his experience with his father. The death of his father according to Kierkegaard was
like an atoning sacrifice, and this test had greatly aided him to make up his mind and
decide to leave his aesthetic lifestyle and pursue theological studies.
In his work, Kierkegaard frequently noted his father not only my father’s
melancholy, the same with his guilt and anxiety and his pietistic emphasis on the door
aspects of Christian faith but he also inherited his talents for philosophical argument and
creative imagination.38 Kierkegaard inherited the affluence of his father that made him a
temporary writer. “The themes of sacrificial father/son relationships of inherited sin, of
the burden of history and of centrality of individual, human existence and relationship
of the old text, handed down from the father” are represented many times in
Kierkegaard’s Oev Vre.39 When his father died, he realized that the harsh religious
upbringing done by his father to him was actually a loving attempt to spare him from
the guilt his father had experienced. With this, Kierkegaard began to understand God’s
love and he immediately turned back to God, to Christianity.
1.2.3.2 Regine Olsen: The Sacrificial Love

38
Robert B. Puchniak, Kierkegaard’s “self” and Augustine’s influence. Volume 2011. Pages 181-
194, ISSN (online) 1612-9792, ISSN (print) 1430-5372, DOI: 10. 1515/97853110736514.182. Nov 2011
HTTP:// www.degruyter.com/view/j/kier. 2011. Issue-10. 1515/97853110736514.182. xml
39
Robert B. Puchniak, Kierkegaard’s “self” and Augustine’s influence. Volume 2011. Pages 181-
194, ISSN (online) 1612-9792, ISSN (print) 1430-5372, DOI: 10. 1515/97853110736514.182.
Nov 2011 HTTP:// www.degruyter.com/view/j/kier. 2011. Issue-10. 1515/97853110736514.182.
xml
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Infandum me rejubes renovary dolorem “Queen, Regina, the sorrow you bid me
revive is unspeakable”40 The second most important turning point of Soren Kierkegaard
was with his relationship to Regine Olsen. This simple and yet dramatic love affair
placed a major influence that created a great impact on Kierkegaard’s works and
philosophy.41
Regina Olsen is the daughter of a highly-placed and well-connected civil servant
named Terkel Olsen.42 Although she was just fifteen years old, Kierkegaard would
describe her as very beautiful “Regine Olsen, the love of my life and muse of my
writings.”43 Soren Kierkegaard met Regine in May of 1837 and the two instantly fell in
love with each other. The formal story of their love affair started when Soren
Kierkegaard received his most awaited award on his degree of theology. Following that
same year in September Kierkegaard formally had his proposal to Regine and she
immediately accepted it. And on November Kierkegaard embarked on a training course
at a pastoral seminary and began to work on his master’s thesis at the university.44
During these days Kierkegaard firmly set his way on pursuing a professional career as a
responsible married man.
Happy as their relationship, however Kierkegaard felt melancholy, an experience
of having everything yet not contented. Kierkegaard was deeply and passionately in
love with Regine, however, he felt he had a unique mission in life that would be
subverted by the entanglements of marriage and normal middle class existence.45 He
harbored an undisclosed secret, something dark and personal, which he thought it his
duty to confide to a wife, but which he dared not. That simple problem remains hidden
and according to some of the interpretations it was some sexual problem, his innate
melancholy, and an egotistical mania of becoming a writer that made him doubt.
40
41
42
Soren Kierkegaard. Western Philosophy http://www. Newworldencyclopedia.org/entry /S%C3
%B8ren_Kierkegaard.
43
Gardiner “Kierkegaard”, 7.
44
45
Ibid.
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Moreover, some of the other speculations stated that the renunciation of marriage arose
from some personal secrets that could not be revealed in a frank relationship of
marriage. And some say, that the reason behind it was only a voluntary renunciation for
the sake of God or because of some prior religious commitment.46
Among these reasons of Kierkegaard’s renunciation of marriage, the scholars
presented a good strata and they pointed out that Soren’s ultimate justification for
breaking off the engagement was his dedication to a life of writing as a religious poet,
under the governance of the divine. The behavior of Soren Kierkegaard of breaking the
engagement might sound very ridiculous. Yet Kierkegaard claimed it as a light
favorable to him and upon doing that decision, it was a self-inflicted wound which
caused his agonizing inward suffering.
Regine Olsen Played a vital role on Kierkegaard’s life. Their engagement
formed a professional basis of his great literary love story, which he published on his
writings and journals. The engagement also helped him to be more aware of social
mores. These are just some of his inspiration when he was engaged.
On the other side of their engagement, it was stated that the surrendering of the
ring contributde to Kierkegaard’s development as a person and as a writer. It was
something to which he obsessively returned in numerous journal entries and disguised
references to its constant return at different stages of his literary production.47 The said
experience of breaking up was the start of Soren Kierkegaard’s authorship proper and
gave it its impetus.48
1.2.3.3 The Corsair: Attention Grabber

The corsair is the most influential public press who loves to intimidate high
personalities through literary and personal critiques. This journal is edited by talented
Jewish author Meir Goldschmidt, who is specialized in ruthless satirical attacks.49 This
46
47
Ibid.
48
Julia Watkin. Kierkegaard (G, chapman, London: New York, 1997), 12.
49
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public press played a great role in the life of Soren Kierkegaard as theologian and
philosopher. The relationship between them contributed to the bulk of Soren’s writings.
It was said that after the breaking of his engagement with Regine, Kierkegaard
enclosed himself in a serene environment where he spent his time writing. However,
notice that his writings had no effect or no one is interested to read outside the literary
elite circles. Thus, Soren Kierkegaard had a plan, that in order to bring attention to his
works he attempted to challenge this satirical paper “The Corsair.” The editor took up
the challenge and for a week Kierkegaard was pilloried, both verbally and pictorially, in
a fashion that spared neither his physical appearance nor his habits.50 Kierkegaard found
the challenge very wounding when he stated:
Even the butchers boy almost think himself justified in being offensive to me at
the behest of the ‘the Corsair.’ Undergraduates grin and giggle and are delighted that
some prominent should be trodden down; the dons are envious and secretly sympathize
with the attack, help to spread it abroad, adding of course that it is crying shame. The
least thing I do, even if simply pay a visit, lyingly distorted and repeated everywhere; if
the corsair gets to know of it then it is printed and read by the whole population. 51
Soren Kierkegaard was lambasted by the corsair yet, as time passed by the
grieving situation gave him a new light to look at as positive. This vision gave him a
more luminous future and it did. It spurred him into a highly productive phase of
writing and publishing. Furthermore Kierkegaard also published his first major book
‘the Either/Or’ and the last book ‘the Changeless God’. Also during this year
Kierkegaard produced over 30 volumes of criticism, theology and philosophy books.
1.2.3.4 The Attack: On the Christendom

After the battle with the public press, Kierkegaard sets his new vision of
becoming a writer and educator. Moreover the good appealing thought was to dedicate
his life in writing on defending the Christianity and Christian morality. Although
Kierkegaard was made silent for almost six years, his promising word did not stop him
in publishing works in defending the Christian church.52
For almost 4 years from 1846 -1850, Kierkegaard published a series of works
examining what it meant to be a Christian and follow the teachings of Jesus. These
50
Gardiner “Kierkegaard”, 10.
51
Ibid.
52
Paul Roubiczek, Existentialism for and Against (Cambridge University Press, 1996), 55.
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works compared what the New Testaments stated and how Christians actually lived. 53
Kierkegaard is so convinced that the modern Christian in the attitude of Christian
practices is living in ideal. In order to re-establish the said conflicts in the church,
Kierkegaard published again a new book entitled the Training in Christianity, which he
summarized and really give emphasis to the following of the holy Bible and what it
really meant to follow the teaching of the scripture.
Kierkegaard’s attack on the Danish church was really intended to the new bishop
primate Martesen. His anger pours when Martesen in the funeral of Mynster said that
the late bishop was only “a witness to the truth”. 54 Yet, Kierkegaard was shocked of
what the new Bishop said, because for Kierkegaard the late bishop lived his life worthy
and was a very good example of what is to be a good and ideal Christian. This started
the appetite of Kierkegaard in writing to correct the new elected bishop. Kierkegaard’s
writings are solely dedicated on defending Bishop Mynster to the grip words of
Martesen. During this time Kierkegaard wrote articles that thrust the different side of
the church through their new false leader.
Kierkegaard put to the test the authority of the church and he even spent his own
earnings and time to publish new journals. Primarily Kierkegaard criticizes the church
of the Danish people for the reason that a Christian should consider the value of
traditional teachings and practices of the church. Yet what he observed is that the
Danish church became more secular. It is already covered with the vision of becoming
an institution, a thirst for power and its concern is always directed to political issues
rather than the teachings of Christ. This he refers that nowadays instead of Christianity
its name was changed to Christendom.55 Kierkegaard throughout his life aimed not to
destroy the church or anyone’s faith, but he sought to explain the life and teachings of
Jesus in a very simple way.
1.2.3.5 Bishop Martersen: Negative Influences

Martesen has a fundamental influence on Kierkegaard’s intellectual
development however it was on the negative manner. Furthermore, Martesen had been a
53
Tameri Guide for writers. http://www.tameri.com/csw/exist/kierkegaard.shtml.2010-updated
14-july-2012.
54
55
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good friend of the Kierkegaard family that is why Soren had a high respect for him.
“Martesen was a champion of Hegelianism, and who became a bishop primate of the
Danish people’s church, yet Kierkegaard published a vitriolic attack on his theological
views”56 He also launched a stinging attack on the new established church in a series of
articles in the newspaper Fædrelandet [The Fatherland], and by means of a broadsheet
called The Instant [or more literally "The Glint of an Eye"](1855) and in a series of
other short, sharp pieces including This Must Be Said, So Let It Be Said (1855),
and What Christ Judges of Official Christianity (1855).57 Martesen is one of
Kierkegaard’s intellectual rivals and he was also the teacher of Kierkegaard in the
University of Copenhagen.
1.2.3.6 Heiberg and Andersen

Another person who influenced Kierkegaard was Heiberg. Heiberg was
responsible for introducing Hegelianism to Denmark.58 On Kierkegaard’s work, from
one of the still living Kierkegaard criticized Heiberg’s atheistic work which modifies
Hegel’s idea of Atheism. Kierkegaard also expressed his doubt and attack on his works,
which he characterized as the critical view of Christianity according to Heiberg and
Andersen, Kierkegaard however pity this intellectual primers of their time by saying
that Heiberg and Andersen’s works lack the dynamics of how a person knows his
development and purpose.
1.2.3.7 Plato and Socrates: the model of Dialectic

Rhetoric is not new at all, thus many of the ancient philosophers are already
familiar about this. Rhetoric is an art, an art of public speaking or writing wisely and it
came from the Greek word (Rethorique).59 Among the many philosophers, Plato and
Socrates are the most prevalent personalities that this art is commonly credited.60 Plato
56
57
Soren Kierkegaard. Western Philosophy. http:// www.newworldencyclopedia. org/entry /S
%C3 %B8ren_Kierkegaard.
58
Søren Kierkegaard (http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/kierkegaard) First published Tue Dec 3,
1996; substantive revision Fri Jul 27, 2012
59
Merriam Webster dictionary, Second Ed. S.V “Rhetoric”
60
Rebecca Elleray “Kierkegaard, Socrates and Existential Individuality” Richmond Journal of
Philosophy 16 (Winter 2007), 1.
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and Socrates use the method of rhetoric to convey their arguments. Socrates is firm in
understanding that knowledge of many experts and sage was based on poor reasoning.
These imply the idea of Socrates that in order to reveal the truth, he usually pretends to
be ignorant in order for the wise men to examine and purify their convictions. The
implication of this method according to Socrates will aid him to evaluate the wise men
if he truly possesses the truth or he just appears to be truthful. The same with the idea of
Plato of having dialogues. According to Plato putting a bundle of minds to suggest in
one subject matter will put discrepancies and debatable conclusions. This allows Plato
to present questions for further clarifications and get the listener and the reader familiar
with the issue.
On their quest of looking for the perfect answer Plato and Socrates first present
the proper questions. This is not far from the idea of Kierkegaard, in fact he himself
employs this tactic in his writings. Kierkegaard is humble enough to accept that he does
not know everything, yet he wanted to trigger his reader to seek the answers for
themselves. To confuse his readers he used the method of the satire, parody and irony.
The main goal of Soren Kierkegaard was to question the authority he has as much as the
others have.
1.2.3.8 Hegelian influences: The Love of Paradox

Hegel was a prominent German philosopher who wrote from the late 1700s and
mid-1800s. This works spread and influence the European philosophical mindset. This
man’s contribution to the philosophical development is his idea of historical dialectic.
This historical dialectic in some sense is the idea of having a good content of logical
and argumentative position. However, this idea is not anymore new; Plato and Socrates
already had this before. This method points out to the proving of arguments and
questions to attain the truth. Moreover, Hegel’s idea of developing this method
presented the flaw of thesis-anti thesis and synthesis. This allowed Hegel to present
more convincing and clarified arguments for the revelation of what is true.
According to Hegel the movement of humanity ends with God through logical
supervision.61 However, in contrary Kierkegaard says no, a being will contradict itself if
61
Paul Roubiczek, Existentialism for and Againts (Cambrigde University Press, 1996), 55.
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it could be contained by logic. Kierkegaard is clearly saying; God was greater than, not
equivalent to logic. Our only way to God is only by faith.62 While Hegel is busy in
proving the existence of God through logic, Kierkegaard is also busy in proving to the
people that God is beyond intelligence. Kierkegaard said, “If Hegel had written his
whole logic and hand written in the preface that it was only a thought experiment… he
doubtly would have been the greatest thinker who has ever lived. As it is he a comic” 63
Along the course of Kierkegaard’s criticism to the Hegelian philosophy,

however he cannot deny the existence of Hegelian influences on his work. The Hegelian
practice of having the idea of paradoxical way within the philosophical proposition is
evident to his writings especially on his notion of Christian as paradox. Within the
horizon of Kierkegaard’s intimacy with the paradox sometimes led to his status as a
weak and strong philosopher and poet.
1.2.4 Kierkegaard’s Doctrine of Religious Existentialism

According to Kierkegaard’s analysis of human experience, every individual
faces the option of choosing between three fundamental kinds of commitments: the
aesthetic, ethical, religious.64 In some way Kierkegaard presents this human analysis as
form or basic modes or sphere of existence.65 Kierkegaard is clear on the dynamics of an
individual in transferring forms of life.66 “The stages and life’s way,” as Kierkegaard
would describe them, are, first and last, step in the pilgrimage from world to God; it is
the ultimate confrontation of man with his maker that motivates and directs the
journey.67 Primarily, the goal of Kierkegaard is to neglect the idea of cognitive
approaches; rather he pointed out that to achieve the adequate existential life, the
longing for authenticity is its cure. Kierkegaard believes that as we progress through
each level, the directions for becoming a fully developed self will end in the last level of
existence sphere, the religious stage.
62
Patrick Gardiner “Kierkegaard” (Oxford University press: 1988), (13)
63
64
Ibid.
65
Ten Theories of Human Nature, Leslie Stevenson & David L Habernan (Oxford University
Press, New York 2004), 177.
66
Lawhead, “The Voyage of Discovery: A History of Western Philosophy” 426.
67
Marjorie Grene. “Introduction To Existentialism.”(University of Chicago. 1948.), 41.
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1.2.4.2 Pathos
It is pathos or passion that advances the subject beyond the
aesthetic sphere. The aesthete, lacks passion for he cares only about
the interesting and pleasurable. Without pathos one cannot transcend
into an ethical existence where one does not simply parrot ethical
norms but commits to them in order to provide meaning and direction
in one’s life. Likewise, it is pathos that drives one to seek some higher
good beyond the social or here; through pathos one strives to surpass
the mediation of the ethical in favor of an immediate and direct
encounter with the eternal. The recognition of this pathos is the
awareness of an infinite source or desire in the self, one that is not
satisfied by finite mediations but seeks the infinite. This, then, is the
religious pathos which Kierkegaard calls faith.
Clearly however, he prefers the dangers of authentic pathos of faith to an ethos
resulting in the leveling and annihilation of selfhood. One of his reasons is that in
addition to himself “there are still people” who long for something higher and more
meaningful in the midst of ongoing leveling processes in the social, political and
intellectual spheres. Kierkegaard wants to make this inclination explicit, to speed it up
and broaden it, by harnessing to it the motivating passion that is by using the very
forces now directed toward the destruction of individuality.68
1.2.4.3 Despair
Despair in the context of Soren Kierkegaard’s thought is a given because of
being acknowledged as the father of philosophical thought that is called existentialism.
The idea of despair is one of its primordial themes in achieving the authenticity. Second
is that according to Lawhead one of the greatest tasks of Soren Kierkegaard is how to
make our life difficult? Kierkegaard found out that society is busy at working hard to
68
Jacob Golomb, “In Search of Authenticity from Kierkegaard to Camus” (London; New York:
Routledge, 1995), 63.
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make life easy with the help of new inventions and technologies. But the most
fundamental element is missing, that is why he stated, “I am out of love for mankind,
and out of despair at my embarrassing situation, seeing that I had accomplished nothing
and was unable to make anything easier than it had already been made, and moved by
genuine interest in those who make everything easy. I conceived it as my task to create
difficulties everywhere.69
As Soren would take an account to what is the true identity of despair he says:
Is despair an excellence or a defect? Purely dialectically, it is both. The possibility of

this sickness is man's superiority over the animal, for it indicates infinite sublimity that he is
spirit. Consequently, to be able to despair is an infinite advantage, and yet to be in despair is not
only the worst misfortune and misery—no, it is ruination.70
In Kierkegaard’s work Sickness unto Death, using the pseudonym anti-climacus,

the individual is the synthesis of finite and infinite.71 With this simple diagram of
Hegelian thesis, anti-thesis and synthesis, Kierkegaard would present the importance of
despair. The process in relation to the individual, finite and infinite would offer an
analysis of the various forms of despair in which the self-seeking continues to direct
itself toward objects or possibilities which fail to succeed in this aim of overcoming
despair. At times the self loses itself in its own finitude or limitations; at
other times it loses itself in its infinitude and endless possibilities. The
key for Kierkegaard is the balance which one strikes in actualizing the
possibilities which are truly one’s own and so following the course of
one’s own life laid out specifically for oneself. Later existential
thinkers, such as Sartre and Heidegger, borrow this notion of
authentic possibility. For Kierkegaard’s specifically religious view,
however, the authentic possibility of overcoming the ultimate despair
of death and our own human finitude is fulfilled only through faith. In
69
70
Tameri Guide for writers. http://www.tameri.com/csw/exist/kierkegaard.shtml copy right
2010-updated 14-july-2012.
71
Existentialist Philosophy. Ed. James A. Gould & Willis H. Truit, (USA: Dickenson Publishing
Company, 1973), 78.
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this way, self-becoming realizes itself only through a relation to the
Eternal.
Therefore, while most philosophers sought to provide answers to our problems.
Kierkegaard sought to provide problems for our comfortable answers. His goal was to
destroy, one by one, every cherished solution, until in despair we would realize only one
was left.72
1.2.4.4 Anxiety
Kierkegaard claims that we experience “anxiety” because of our human finitude.
In Kierkegaard’s very word’s he stated that:
Anxiety is being afraid when there is nothing to fear. We struggle with
something in the dark, but we don’t know what is. From somewhere and yet
nowhere seeps out vague feeling of threat…Our anxiety is seldom an
object of our being, which makes itself felt without the aid of the
conceptual thought. When it burst thru the protective shell in which we try
to encapsulate it, our anxious dread renders us helpless.73
Kierkegaard concept of anxiety is most closely connected with his idea of

freedom to choose: with the “leap of faith” into nothingness that we must make
significant choices. In such moment Kierkegaard is both attracted and repelled by a
future that may unknown, and the individual feel anxiety at his freedom to leap into
nothingness of an unknown future. For example, when an individual look over the edge
of a cliff, he felt anxious because he is not sure of what will happen down there if he
will jump. For Kierkegaard, this was particularly a leap of faith in which we are free to
choose to trust in God yet have no intellectual proof that God exist. To experience this
anxiety is also to experience an ultimate freedom to “leap” into nothingness.
1.2.4.5 Story of Abraham (suspension of the ethical)

For Kierkegaard the story of Abraham is one of the most evident example why
he concluded that the standpoint of faith is incomprehensible. Abraham was the starter
of the “authentic faith” who lives within the religious sphere.74 Thus, in viewing the
72
CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company, 1996),” 419.
73
Soren Kierkegaard, “The concept of Anxiety” .Trans Reidar Thomte (Priceton, NJ: Princetown
University Press, 1980), 41.
74
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story of Abraham as knight of faith, Kierkegaard wanted to give emphasis on the
distinction of man’s absolute duty (ethical) and God as an absolute (faith). Kierkegaard
pointed out that when Abraham was commanded to sacrifice his son Isaac. Abraham has
a full knowledge of ethical principles or duty that in return consequences such as he can
be labeled as murderer, a disgrace in the community and unlawful man.
If the preacher found about it, perhaps, would go to a man, he would
muster all his ecclesial dignity and shout, you despicable man, you scum of the
society, what devil has so possessed you that you want to murder your son.75
Still his belief of having the absolute command (God) pushes him to will the
sacrifice. For Kierkegaard Abraham’s situation is a distinction between man and God,
thus he justified that the value of God as an absolute to make religious faith as the most
essential and authentic.76
Another reason why Kierkegaard uses the story of Abraham is to justify
his idea of ethical suspension. Kierkegaard simply explains this by simply saying:
ethical principles or duties are In fact imbedded in man. However when a great call is
seek, ethical duties can be suspended. Ethical suspension is based on the story of
Abraham that still chose to sacrifice his son Isaac for a great value when following the
will of God.77 The ethical suspension is only justified in the case of God.78
1.2.4.6 Leap of Faith

According to the words of Kierkegaard “Faith must be something I cannot take
my life on without reservation.”79 And this characterized that faith should be a very
personal and complete structure of man. The faith of an individual for Kierkegaard
involves a very unique segment of LEAP. Leap of faith involves a risk of total
submission to something without any evidential security of what is behind.80
Scholars would argue that the concepts of leap of faith in the works of
Kierkegaard are fruits of irrationalism and fideism. Thus, it implies the active rejection
75
Gardiner “Kierkegaard” (Oxford University press: 1988), 63.
76
Jacob Golomb, “In Search of Authenticity from Kierkegaard to Camus” (London; New York:
Routledge, 1995), 63.
77
78
Ibid.
79
William Lawhead, “The Voyage of Discovery: A History of Western Philosophy”, 422
80
Anthony Kenny “The Oxford Illustrates History of the Western Philosophy” (New York:
Oxford University Press, 2001), 221.
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of Kierkegaard’s notion of blind impulse. Moreover, according to them Kierkegaard’s
notion of faith is the absurd kind of understanding of what is faith. However for
Kierkegaard it is not, he even insisted that this kind of understanding of faith can unveil
the secret through authenticity. In understanding the leap of faith, for Kierkegaard it is
the progressive movement from one stage to the next requiring something more than a
natural transition.81 A certain gap or chasm needs to be crossed. Thus, leap of faith is
like a ship in which it can cross the sea of despair and doubts.
In Fear and Trembling, Johannes de Silentio analyzes Abraham's action to
sacrifice Isaac. Thus, Silentio found out that Abraham was a knight of faith. The knight
of faith has a close relationship with ethics and leap of faith. This includes a divine
command which includes that all are subject to moral activities if it is commanded by
God. God can transcend ethics and at some point God can command an unethical act.82
When this particular time occurs the religious person must be prepared for the event of
a divine command from God that would take superiority over all moral and rational
obligations. In Fear and Trembling, Silentio called this event the teleological
suspension of the ethical. The ethical duty is not cancelled but merely suspended at a
particular place and time according to God’s own command. Abraham, the knight of
faith, chose to obey God’s command unconditionally, and was rewarded with the title of
"Father of Faith." Abraham transcended ethics and leapt into faith not only because he
was willing to slay his son, but also because he believed he would receive his son back.
For God had also promised Abraham that through Isaac he would become the “Father of
many generations.”
Faith in the sense here in question lay outside the aegis of human standards of
rationality, and the transition to what is involved was not vulnerable to justification in
those terms.83 In the final analysis of what is truly a leap of faith it suggests that faith
needs a risk or leap or a spiritual moment that requires a commitment to something that
was objectively uncertain. As Kierkegaard puts it, there is no other road to faith; if one
81
Soren Kierkegaard. Western Philosophy. http:// www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry /S%C3
%B8ren_Kierkegaard.
82
Ibid.
83
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wishes to escape risk, it is as if one wanted to know with certainty that he can swim
before going into the water.84
1.2.5 Stages and life’s ways

Kierkegaard distinguishes between three levels or stages of
individual existence through which one becomes an authentic self,
namely, the aesthetic, the ethical, and the religious. He analyzes the
different stages in rather a cryptic form throughout many of his
works, but makes them more explicit, the stages and life’s way. In
both, though, the higher stages include or incorporate the essential
aspects of the lower one(s). For example, an ethical or religious
person is still capable of aesthetic enjoyment, which is why
Kierkegaard states that the religious does “not abolish the aesthetic,
it merely dethrones it.
1.2.5.1 Aesthetic Stage: Dynamics of Boring and interesting
The stage of existence is characterized by the following: immersion in sensuous

experience valorization of possibility over actuality; egotism and flight from the subject
experience; nihilistic wielding of irony and skepticism and flight from boredom.85
Kierkegaard in simple manner elaborates this level as sensual and emotional hunger or a
childlike immediacy. The aesthetic stage has a primary aim and that is to satisfy his\her
desires.86 This desire is not only directed to a single factor but it covers different things.
In the ancient times, hedonism seeks the value of pleasure and associated it to be the
basis of truth for them. This philosophical thought is one concrete example of the first
stage.
Aestheticism sees life in terms of possibilities to be considered and enjoyed, not
in terms of projects to pursue or ideals to live out. The aesthetic person is basically
84
85
86
Frederick Coplestone, A History of Philosophy 18th & 19th Century German Philosophy,
(London: New York Continuum, 2003), 338.
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passive, and seeks satisfaction in things over which they have no control, dependent on
what happens externally.87 For them life has such an uncertain foundation, it may appear
pretty meaningless. There's probably some awareness of the possibility of a higher form
of life, but the aesthetic person tries to deal with this either by keeping so busy that they
do not have time to think about it, or by starting to see themselves as a melancholy
person, for whom sorrow is the meaning of life - at least this cannot be taken away.88
The person who is in the level of aestheticism is driven by his/her own selfish
motives, thus it implies that he\she is not truly free and vulnerable of committing
mistakes. This may fail the aesthetic level to have a strong and consistent character.
The aesthetic person has two major fields while it undergoes for a time and it is the
matter of boring and interesting. A person may indulge himself in so much enjoyment
and pleasure yet he never recognizes the commitment and responsibilities. Moreover,
Kierkegaard thoroughly describes the aesthetic stage as an escape from reality. He puts
the priority on the statement of boringness on a higher level. Kierkegaard identifies two
more significant elements in the matter of boring. First is boredom is a treat because of
its transitory nature and events; second is repetition, an amount of pleasure is tiresome
and inadequate and to overcome this, search for new experiences.89 This life is really
empty handed, that it always seeks for something; an experience of happiness and
fulfillment.
On Kierkegaard’s account the authentic level is being personified to make it
clearer. He used the pseudonymous name of Don Juan in Either /Or, Ahaservus in the
wandering Jew and Faust.90 He also used the name Johanes Climacus, the seducer.
These pseudonyms characterized the message of Kierkegaard that in man’s inner self,
the quest for commitment is gushing that it is inescapable. That is why the problem of
an aesthetic person is he does not have a self, for his choices are determined by his
87
Daniel Herwitz, Aesthetic “Key Concepts In Philosophy” (London: New York 2008), 9.
88
Frederick Coplestone, Contemporary6 Philosophy (London, Search Press: Paramus New
Jersey. New Man Press 1972), 150
89
%B8ren_Kierkegaard.
90
Frederick Coplestone, “Contemporary Philosophy” (London, Search Press: Paramus New
Jersey. New Man Press 1972), 150
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environment, his moods and impulses.91 Thus, the call for every individual on their
nature for hunger for a concrete commitment abounds all the more. However, the person
who may hid this call makes his way to the ethical stage.
A person living in this kind of life or stage will at some point realize that
everything he was enjoying is only temporal thus he will experience despair. The
feeling of despair will orient the aesthetic person to evaluate his own experiences and
will insist that he should look for something concrete and lasting. This will allow him to
change the life he has because everything temporal will just push his efforts in vain. In
response to the call of despair, the person now will take the step to look for a different
kind of pleasure - something concrete and will set his plans to a complete satisfaction.
Thus if he can make his quest in progress towards other kinds of happiness, different
from aesthetic standard, he will live out his freedom and if not he will continue the
chain of being captive from aesthetic pleasures. Kierkegaard thought that this way of
living, far from being an anomaly, was how most people lived. That is, their lives and
activities are guided by enjoyment, pleasure, and interest rather than by any deep and
meaningful commitment to something that transcended themselves and their own
immediacy.92 For this reason, most people, whether they are aware of it or not, live lives
of despair.
1.2.5.2 Ethical Stage: A Responsible Man

The second stage is the ethical stage,93 in which the primary goal is to live
according to ethical truth. In this stage, there are moral limits on what one can and
cannot do. The individual takes responsibility for herself and her choices, and seeks to
become what she ought to be. She seeks to fulfill her duties related to her work and her
relationships. The ethical life introduces sacrifice; the self is no longer at the center of
everything as it was in the previous stage.94
91
92
%B8ren_Kierkegaard
93
Paul Roubiczek, Existentialism for and Against (Cambrigde University Press, 1996), 9.
94
Frederick Coplestone, Contemporary Philosophy (London, Search Press: Paramus New Jersey.
New Man Press 1972), 150
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Among the majority of Kierkegaard’s authorship the ethical was given a priority
on his work either/Or personified by judge Williams and Johanes de Selintio’s in Fear
and Trembling.95 These works of Kierkegaard might distinguish their own possibilities
of understanding the ethical level yet commonly the two depend on the relationship of
aesthetic-religious and vice versa.
The ethical seems to be focused on 'choosing oneself' - the ethical person sees
himself as a goal, and where the aesthete is constantly distracted by and concerned with
external things, the ethical person directs his attention and efforts towards his own
nature, being something over which they have control.96 They examine themselves to
discover what they really want, and what is important is not so much whether they
achieve the things they set out to achieve, but more the extent to which they throw their
whole selves into their activities. The ethical life is basically one long training montage.
One of Kierkegaard's pseudonyms says that the ethical person expresses the universal in
his own life, rather than developing his own individual ideas of right and wrong,97 but
towards the end of Either/Or the ethical starts to seem more problematic, and it is
acknowledged that certain exceptional individuals might struggle to express the ethical
universal in their own life.
Kierkegaard writes the ethical person is like, outwardly he is a complete man ‘a
real man’. He is a university man, husband and father and uncommonly competent civil
functionary, even a respectable father, very gentle to his wife and caring with respect to
his children and a Christian? Well yes, he is that too after a sort.98 Kierkegaard wanted
to express that an ethical person is more advanced on becoming a full self-this ethical
person is now independent because he already knows how to commit and have his own
personal choice, contrary to aesthetic.
Commonly the ethical stage is submerged to its awareness of ethical principles
especially on societal mores. He is now conscious of how to put the dichotomy between
95
96
%B8ren_Kierkegaard.
97
Coplestone, “Contemporary Philosophy”, 151.
98
CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company, 1996), 427
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bad and good. Thus, an ethical person knows the meaning of one’s life and he
consciously practices the good traits - honesty, passionate and devoted.
Possessing this ethical element may suggest that a person is already finished
with the aesthetic stage, yet something is still missing.99 The essential character of this
ethical person is engulfed by the universal societal character of this ethical person in a
body of social responsibilities: a good parent, a good employ and Christian. However,
Kierkegaard was seeking a unique individual, an authentic one, not only an individual
who is composed of moral responsibilities. According to Kierkegaard, it is only possible
at the last stage which he called the religious stage. The ethical person according to
Kierkegaard does not have any relationship with God other than of good moral
conduct.100
The ethical on the last stand will realize that being a responsible man and being
a moral person thus fulfill his being an individual. However the problem arises when
the hunger for despair strikes and the longing for a higher commitment abounds and this
will suggest that everything in his life is not just only what he ought to do. The problem
of despair is the peak of all this unsettlement thus, the emotion that the despair had
given will show that he needs further change to be done. In response to this he must
simply persevere to do the right things and to become a good person, in order for him to
move to the other level and final stage, the religious.
1.2.5.3 Religious stage: Knowing God

For Kierkegaard, the very notion of this occurring is scandalous to human reason;
indeed, it must be, and if it is not then one does not truly understand the Incarnation or the
meaning of human sinfulness. For Kierkegaard, the impulse towards an awareness of a
transcendent power in the universe is what religion is. Although religion has a social and so
ethical dimension, it begins with the individual and his or her awareness of sinfulness. Here
Kierkegaard reflects Lutheran and Augustinian teachings in which the immediate relation to the
Absolute (God) is founded upon grace alone.101
99
Ibid.
100
101
Soren Kierkegaard. Western Philosophy http://www. Newworldencyclopedia.org/entry /S
%C3 %B8ren_Kierkegaard.
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Kierkegaard always gives strong emphasis to this stage because for him the
religious stage is the fulfillment of all stages. One may realize that he cannot do
everything justly, thus the realization that God forgives this will help him to eliminate
the guilt and despair. The idea of having God in every circumstance also needs to have
good and passionate relationship with Him. And this relationship will soon guide him to
a good process of conversion and will aid him to have a new perspective of life. For
Kierkegaard, the religious stage is not a person with a sour ascetic life. Religious stage
or life is just a complete realization and appreciation of the goodness of creation. The
primary reinforcement of sex, food, shelter and comfort in a religious person is not
suppressed but it was only realized and appreciated to be God’s gift and thus it is
utilized in a correct manner.
Here a person is now fully aware and knowledgeable about what is self and what
is to become self, an authentic self. Being in the religious stage does not consider that
he is already familiar with religious dogma, yet this stage is characterized as an
immediate encounter of a true living God. According to Kierkegaard, the religious stage
is realized if a person although indulged with moral principles, considers the fact of
being finite. In a direct sense, Kierkegaard points out that in the religious stage, a person
now acknowledges the divine providence or the initiative of God. But this self acquires
a new quality or qualification in the fact that it is the self directly in the sight of God…
and what as an infinite reality this self acquires by being before God.102
The religious stage identifies every element in the implication of full or highest.
For example, the ethical stage as a newbie knows how to become a person through
ethical principles and values, such as honesty. However, in the case of the religious
stage it does not remain as only a simple value but Kierkegaard had his own degree of
honesty and for him the religious stage brings honesty to the fullest. Honesty in a full
sense for Kierkegaard simply means honesty of the self. Moreover, this stage qualifies
the sincerity of a person between his relationship to a true and living God. As
Kierkegaard puts it, sincerity is determined by the acceptance of the person, acceptance
that he is inadequate of sustaining himself alone. And in trusting in God, Kierkegaard
102
William Lawhead, “The Voyage of Discovery: A History of Western Philosophy” (Belmont,
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says “when I counter the living God, I stand naked, free of my socially defined roles
and free of my masks. Stripped of every possibility of self-deception, I am able to know
myself for the first time”103
In Kierkegaard’s Fear and Trembling it is basically all about the inability of the
ethical to comprehend faith, and is horrendously complicated by confusion over the
extent to which Kierkegaard actually believes the things he writes. It is basically a long
meditation on Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac, and talks about the 'teleological suspension
of the ethical': the possibility of committing unethical acts in view of a higher calling
from God. The person of faith is isolated from others by his faith, unable to justify his
actions to them. Faith is something which, in response to the call of God, takes a person
outside of the realm of socially acceptable behavior, outside of the limits of human
reason. It requires a 'leap of faith' (leap into the arms of God)104 because it cannot be
done by human rationality.
Conclusion
Soren Kierkegaard was a passionate playboy that later on turned into a
passionate Christian. Naturally, his identity was commonly identified to his physical
fitness, yet possessing a frail body structure he became the object of bullying. However
Kierkegaard has a good weapon to defend himself from his enemies. His witty tongue
can pierce even the very hidden personality of his rivals. Kierkegaard, has a brilliant
mind. Through his upbringing, he became prominent in both the literary and academic
field.
Although his academic studies influenced him so much yet the spirit of his
writings arose from his four major turning points. The first is the relationship with his
father, this influenced Kierkegaard’s being a deep religious person, taught him to be a
good listener, a good academician, an upright man and lastly the inherited guilt. Second
is the sacrificial love with Regine Olsen, the breaking of the engagement helped
Kierkegaard to become more eloquent on his literary pieces. And this relationship
revealed the best of him. Third is the life long war with the Corsair. This event helped
103
Ibid. 429.
104
Leslie Stevenson & David L Habernan “Ten Theories of Human Nature” (Oxford University
Press, New York 2004), 177.
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him to make his writings became work. The intention of giving the hint on how to
attack him is a strategic way to make the people know that he exists. Lastly, the battle
with the Danish church (Christendom), this last event helped him to become analytical
and very critical because his attacks on the Bishop Primate and the people of the Danish
church were powerful and obvious that it was a rally intended for them. Furthermore
this event also brought the spirit of the philosopher and theologian in him.
According to Kierkegaard, the modes of existence are a complete human
analysis, that for him every individual cannot deny the existence of this dynamics. The
three modes are closely interrelated with each other thus it implies that it is not distinct
with each other.
The aesthetic stage is characterized by the person that has two major field wish
to undergo for a time and it is the matter of boring and interesting. For Kierkegaard the
person may indulge himself in so much enjoyment and pleasure yet he never recognize
its commitment and responsibilities. However the person living in this kind of life or
stage will at some point realize that everything he was enjoying is only temporal thus he
will experience despair. The feeling of despair will orient the aesthetic person to
evaluate his own experiences and will insist that he should look for something concrete
and for lasting happiness.
This gives rise to the second stage, the ethical. As Kierkegaard would remind his
reader that ethical is not separate with aesthetic thus he identifies that ethical stage is
commonly dependent with aesthetic and the two depend on their relationship of
aesthetic-ethical and vice versa. The ethical is centered on choosing oneself, thus this
person is now aware of the responsibility and admits his goal. Why the aesthetic is busy
on things that are not necessary and are temporal while the ethical is a person who
directs more of his attention towards the idea of commitment and responsibility over
things which he can control.
Third is the religious stage, while the ethical is now absorbed of being a
responsible man, yet the problem arises when the call of despair rings. The notion of
despair is the driving force that triggers the ethical person to long for something
concrete not based on moral duties but a higher order of commitment and this
Kierkegaard coined as the point of departure of ethical to religious stage. The religious
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stage is a fruit of unfinished business on understanding faith on the ethical stage. This
final stage is pointed to the inability of reason to understand the value of faith. Thus, the
need for leap of faith is very important because it can’t be done by human reason.
Kierkegaard realized that the point of this last stage is a complete stripping of the self in
facing God. In this case, the person in this stage will realize that he has nothing to do
with himself but rather he needs something, a concrete, objective and infinite God.
Chapter III
1.2.5. 1 Introduction
This chapter discusses the factors of Augustine’s experience of Conversion.
Thus, this includes the factors or the person that influence his conversion. This also
includes the situations of his conversion in Milan the encounter Ambrose and ultimately
the conversion in the garden. The study also include the different kind of Augustine
conversion starting from intellectual to will and lastly to Christianity. This chapter
helps the researcher to identify every aspects of Augustine’s conversion in parallel to
the religious existentialism of Soren Kierkegaard.
1.2.5.2 Factors of Augustine’s conversion

The conversion of Augustine started with the influence of his mother Monica
when he was still a child up to his adult age. This also followed by his childhood
friends. Moreover during his journey his encounter with the different influential people
and groups that helped him to shaped his mind and will and heart.
1.2.5.2.1 Monica
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Monica was born in Thagaste in the year 323. Although this account is not strong
yet her birthplace was only associated and presumed in the district where later she wed.
Monica had been born into a Christian family.105 And during her infancy, Christians
were just emerging yet keeping their religion still hidden because of fear of
persecution.106 At the age of twenty-two she was married to one of the cities magistrates
named Patricius who was already forty years old. Augustine tells this story which he
says he heard from Monica herself, that there was a time when Monica had fallen into
bad habits. Earning the good trust of his parents Monica was sometimes appointed to
fetch wine in their cellar, yet Monica out of childish mischief should wet his lips with
the wine.107 Moreover from time to time, Monica was addicted with the wine and during
this time she was not just putting the wine on his lips but totally drinking the wine with
great like. However, at once instance she was caught by her maidservant companion,
this awakens her and immediately stopped the habit. Augustine would tell that her
mother has outstanding traits, when she was still adolescent, a strong will power that
maintained her moral standards and overcoming the difficulty with her husband.108
Monica was twenty-three when Augustine was born.109 In the ninth book of
Augustine’s confession which he writes on the accounts of his mother enumerated
different outstanding values, attitudes and personality. Monica merges as a woman of
profound sensibility and ardent piety. From her youth she was thoroughly trained in the
practice of moderation and mortification.110 She acquired early virtues of patience,
humility and obedience to authority111 she had extraordinary charm, combining
105
Eleonore stump & Norman Leretzmann “Augustine: The Cambridge Companion”,
(Cambridge Press University 2002), 1.
106
Recoletos Seminary: Baguio City, 2007), 1
107
Msgr. Leon Christiani, The Story of Monica and Her Son Augustine, Trans M. Angeline
Bouchard (United States of America: St. Paul 1997), 15.
108
Serge Lancel “St. Augustine” Trans Atonia Nevill, (London: SMC Press, 2002), 10.
109
Sr. Marie Aquinas MacNamara, OP. “Friends & Friendship of St. Augustine” (USA: Pauline
Publication, 1964), 28.
110
Ibid.
111
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, IX, 19, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
(USA:Hacket Publishing Company, Inc. 2006), 176.
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sweetness and simplicity with prudence, characteristics which enabled her to win the
hearts of difficult person.112
Possessing this good characteristic of a mother, Monica played a very important role
in the great conversion of Augustine the holy life she had shown gave authority to her
words, and Augustine found it very formative. Augustine inherited his mother’s
sensitive heart.113 Recalling Monica’s attitude of being simple sweet and gentle that
whoever encounter her is easily influenced by her words, and this also helps Monica to
engrave different teachings to her Son Augustine. Augustine Even said that even up to
the death of his mother Monica she was not able to say any harsh words to him.114
It was Monica who gave and introduced God and scripture to Augustine and was the
one who instructed the things of faith to him. During the upbringing of Augustine,
Monica was the one who taught him by her life, the principles of Christian ethics.
Augustine allowed himself to be formed by his mother Monica. Through this course
Augustine acquired such a belief in God and hi providence, upright conscience and
refined sensitivity in emotion and taste.115 Monica stood as a very profound mother to
Augustine who cares not only for her son’s future but also for her son’s future ministry.
In book II of Augustine’s confession, we would notice that Monica’s persistent moral
standard creates a conflict between them. Augustine during this year is entering the
period of adolescence, yet Monica knowing the danger of this period continues, to
remind Augustine not to join with any sexual sin and other belief. She was also the first
one who made a horror to Augustine’s life when at first she forbade her son to enter her
house when he returned to Thagaste because of his concubine.116 Augustine followed his
own will to replenish all his desire by studying at Carthage where a cauldron of illicit
loves leapt and boiled me.117
112
Ibid.
113
MacNamara, OP. “Friends & Friendship of St. Augustine”, 29.
114
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, IX, 30, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
(USA: Hacket Publishing Company, Inc. 2006), 181.
115
Publication, 1964), 30
116
Confesssion VI 6
117
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Here he was also influenced by Manichaeism “I fell in the sect of men talking high
sounding nonsense, carnal and wordy man”118 with these snares of the devil it seems
that Monica was taken out of the picture in Augustine’s life. However, Monica being
separated with his son she remained steadfast, during this time her only job was to pray
of her son’s conversion.
Although Monica was patient and enduring mother, at some point she felt anxious
was about her son’s direction. However, it was a dream that actually induced her to
accept once again at her table this son who had wandered from Christ and from her.
Monica had an account on of his dream in the confessions of Augustine:
“In her she saw herself standing in a wooden rule and youth all radiant to her
cheerful and smiling upon her, where all she was grieving and heavy with her grief. He
asked her not to learn from her but, as is the way of visions to teach her- the causes of
her sorrow and the tears she daily shed. She replied that she was mourning for the loss
of my soul. He commanded her to be at peace and told that here to observe carefully
and she would see that where she was, there was I also. She looked and saw me
standing alongside her on the same rule”119
Monica was energized with this vision and there she hold that soon her son will
be converted. Augustine continued with his illicit lifestyle, by having a concubine,
joining Manicheans, being g speaker of the Roman Empire, all this added to Monica’s
burden. Yet Monica with all this torments did not abandoned his son, she continued to
accompany Augustine with her prayers and tears. Monica during this time was already a
widow when her husband Patricius died during the unsettled years of Augustine. She
had become a widow, she thought of nothing but only the conversion of his son and
diverted, she loss somehow prudence that she tried to force the issue to a prominent
bishop. Monica as persistent mother, pleaded the old bishop to consult her son however,
many times Ambrose refuse because he know that Augustine is neophyte Manichean
and would not mind to listen to any counsel. Yet still Monica pleaded Ambrose and out
118
St. Augustine“Confession”42.
119
Sr. Marie Aquinas MacNamara, OP. “Friends & Frienship of St. Augustine” (USA: Pauline
Publication, 1964), 33.
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of encouragement Ambrose spoke to Monica saying “Go your way as sure as you live.
It is impossible that the son of these tears should not perish”120
It is clear that Monica had a long course of struggle for the conversion of her
son. She even felt this struggle Augustine ask to study in madaurus. It became more
burdensome when Augustine was disillusion by so many material things. Indulging
himself to sexual matters, joining the Manichean and hunger for power. However, this
sorrowful experience of Monica did not defeat her faith for the conversion of her son.
This event made her more concern about spiritual things and added his closeness to
God. This partially was healed when Augustine decided to take back the faith he had
when still young through baptism.121 Monica accompanied Augustine in both happiness
and sadness of life. When the moment comes that Monica had realize that all the
promise that God assured to her are slowly happening and even the vision of being with
her son in a window story at the garden and talking about the truth.122 Her purposed in
life fulfilled of it was put into the scene that she fell sick of a fever… and on the ninth
day of her illness in the fifty sixth year of her life, her devout soul was released from
her body.123
“As for my own part, I no longer find joy in anything in this world. What I am
still to here and why I am here I know not. Now that I no longer hope anything from
remain still s little longer in this life, that I should see you to me in super abundance. In
that I now see you his servant to the contempt of all worldly happiness. What then Am I
doing here.”124
1.2.5.2.2 Ambrose:
Ambrose Bishop of Milan, was the man destined by God to bring Augustine back
into the church and prepare him to become one of brightest church.125 Ambrose was a
roman, probably born in the year 334 and who died on April 4. 397. Although born of
120
121
Publication, 1964), 36
122
Ibid, 45.
123
Ibid, 43.
124
St. Augustine “Confession” Second Edition, IX, X, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
(USA:hacket Publishing Company, Inc. 2006), 180.
125
Augustine learns from Ambrose. 105
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Christian parents he had not been baptized at birth. Ambrose saw the youngest of his
family and he entered a public career early in life. He was the son of a high roman
official, who died when he was very young. That is why like Augustine he was raised
only by his mother. He had also siblings named Marcelina and satyrus. Ambrose
became a member of the council of the prefect of preatorium, sextus patronius probus.126
And during the year 370 he was appointed as a “Consularis” means a governor of the
province Ligurin and Milia with the approval residence in Milan.
The decision of Augustine to continue his life as a professor in Milan led him to
encounter Ambrose. For the first time when Augustine met Ambrose he already pointed
out that Ambrose was a Christian intellectual ability. He was a man of high Education,
who also knew his about the corridors of the power of the court.127 When the time that
Augustine and Monica arrived at the land of Milan and Ambrose received them
generously that is why Monica and Augustine regarded him as an outstanding pastor of
the church.128 I attended carefully when he preached to the people… his words I
listened with greatest care, his matter I held quite unworthy attention.129 While living in
Milan Augustine decided to be frequent at the cathedral where Ambrose preached
regularly. He was interested, he tells us, less in the substance of Ambrose’s sermons
than his technique.
During this time Augustine realized that Ambrose teachings are more consistent
than that of the manichees where for nine years he was a member. Augustine realized
that the teaching of Ambrose brings light to all spiritual matters, there slowly he began
to experience joy in finding the Catholic teaching was exempt from a whole series of
errors.130
Ambrose was one of the chief human instruments of Augustine’s conversion, though
he admitted that he had no intimate acquaintance with him. Ambrose was the one who
126
Henry Chadwick “Augustine” (New York: Oxford University Press, 1986), 105.
127
Ibid. 16.
128
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, V, XIII, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
129
Robert j. O, O’Connell “Images of conversion in Augustine,” (New York: Fordham
130
G. Papinni “St. Augustine” Trans Dorothy Canfield Fisher, (Norwich: The Canterbury Press,
1986), 104
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introduced Augustine to Neo-Platonism and Christianity. He was also the one who
enlighten Augustine about the errors of Manichaeism. And lastly Ambrose was also
regarded by Augustine as a person that teaches the truth and a defender of faith.
As Augustine would say about Ambrose in his confession:
So I came to Milan to bishop and devout servant of God, Ambrose famed
among the best men of the whole world, whose eloquence then most powerfully
ministered to your people the fatness of your wheat and the joy of your oil and the
sober intoxication of your wine. All unknowing I should be brought by Him to God.
That man of God, receive as a father and a bishop welcomed my coming. I came to
love him not at first as a teacher of the truth, which I utterly despaired of finding in
your church but for his kindness to me.131
1.2.5.2.3 Cicero
Cicero is one of the most powerful initial influences that guided the young
Augustine on his philosophical matters and search for wisdom.132 Of the many works of
Cicero which Augustine knew intimately, one dialogue called Hortensius.133 Cicero’s
intention upon writing the Hortensius is to ensure that on the foundation of everything
or its view philosophical notion is necessary. Moreover Hortensius is also a defense for
any critical judgment even to the extent of public and political system. Cicero got his
basic principles to a Roman exhortation and to the work of Aristotle.
Cicero’s ideal mind influence Augustine to have a personal and self-sufficient
and awareness that happiness, which everyone seeks, is not found in a self-indulgent
life of pleasure. The Hortensius also reminded Augustine about the pursuit of bodily
pleasure in food, drinks and sex, is distracting for the mind in pursuit of higher things.
This made Augustine realized for the first time about his strong sexual drive.
On the effect of hortensius to Augustine’s life, thus he was able to think
seriously about seeking wisdom (Philosophy)134. At Carthage when Augustine is already
nineteen years old, he found that seriousness of the questioned raised by Cicero.
131
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, V, XIII, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
132
Eugene Teselle “Augustine” (Oxford New York: Oxford Press1986), 10.
133
Henry Chadwick , “Augustine” USA: Blackwell Publishing 2005), 9.
134
Garry Wills “St. Augustine” (USA: Guernsey Press & Company. 1999), 42.
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Cicero’s invitation was very enticing, about the quest of individuals happiness and his
caused Augustine to read the Latin Bile. However, Augustine was disturbed by the
obscurity of the old Latin book. Primarily, because of its language and the authorities of
the writer. This made Augustine to reject the Bible, because an eloquence Ciceronian
mindset is fun of visiting places and good plays and theatrical activities but not naïve
myths of Adam and eve and incompatibilities of Jesus Christ’s genealogy. Therefore
Augustine sought for help and he was drawn to astrology, taught how to live without
religion and occult theosophy taught by Mani.135
1.2.5.2.4 Mani:
Mani was a Persian born about year 216. Throughout his existence he claimed
that he was a special inspired apostle of Jesus Christ is very ardent on him.136 Mani was
very knowledgeable about the use of rhetoric and masters the skill of being a poet. Thus
his claimed though crooked but the way how he present it sounds very acceptable. Mani
or Manichaeism has a very revolutionary belief concerning the purpose of the body and
the problem of evil.137 Mani Claimed that the body is govern by a god of evil.138
Primarily, their belief of the body is disgusting work of the devil originated on its
relation to sex. For Mani sex and dark or evil are intimately associated with each
other.139 Therefore, every individual would be interested to such belief were sex was an
important driving principle. Manichaeism also teach about the origin of the cosmos was
started with opposing substances of light and darkness. Then Mani characterized it in
two Gods, the God that created the good is the light and the God that created all evil is
the dark. The conclusion of Mani that human being could be held totally accountable for
his or her sins, attracted Augustine so much.
135
Chadwick “Augustine” 11.
136
Fr. Jose Ernil Almayo OAR, “Notes in Augustinology: ad usum Studentium” (Casiciaco
137
Ibid.
138
Vernon J. Bourke,“The Essential Augustine” (USA: Hacket Publishing Company, 1974), 12.
139
Henry Chadwick “Augustine”, 11.
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Augustine’s reading of Hortensius though help him to become a restless for
wisdom, yet something’s are missing that only in the Manichaeism was realized. “I fell
in with a sect of men talking high sounding nonsense, carnal and wordy men. The
snares fo the devil were in their mouths to trap soul…”140 Mere hearers of the
Manicheanism, of whom Augustine became one, there teachings allowed sexual
relations at safe periods of the month and were expected to take steps to avoid
conceiving a child. Augustine take this teaching that obviously at the age of eighteen he
was already involved in sexual actions. In fact Augustine acceptance that belief during
the year 372 his unnamed concubine bore him a son, Adeodatus which in Latin word
means given by God.141 For nine years Augustine was a faithful hearer of the
Manichaeism.
Mani denied any authority to the Old Testament with its presupposition of the
goodness of the material order of the things and its maker. He was a heretic in the strict
sense of a person wanting to stay within the community while interpreting its
fundamental documents and beliefs. By bizarre twist he presented hi lush, partly erotic
mythology with the claim that it was rational, coherent and true. However, Augustine
was so disturbed to find that the Manichee was just a skillful in astrology but not
literally in philosophy and theology.142 Augustine on his cleverness find out that their
doctrine are just sounds but ultimately vague. When Augustine discovers this falsity he
abandoned the Manichaeism, he regretted that he was flattered by the intellectualism, he
was dazzled by its doctrine of purity, their escape on admittance of sin. When had an
opportunity to teach at Rome he was able to abandon completely the Manichaeism
belief for the reason that there are things that Manichaeism cannot reconcile. And
during this time he became skeptic Augustine admitted that he regretted not only that he
had been attracted other to their false teaching of the Manichees but also that he had led
others to follow him.143
140
St. Augustine, “Confession”, Second Edition, III, VI, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
141
www.BehindtheName .com /name/Adeodatus/ sheknows Family.
142
143
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1.2.5.2.5 Neo-Platonism
The encounter of Augustine and the Neo-Platonism was one of the most
influential events that had happened because for both the possibility and the actuality of
his conversion this was eradicated and in here was realized.
During the stay of Augustine in Milan he settled there together with other
influential schools of thought, thus Augustine was surrounded by Epicureans, Cynics,
Stoics and skeptics (where Augustine was briefly influence), and lastly the Platonists,
generally called the academics. The Neo-Platonism is a breakaway group of the
academics who wanted to re-establish the doctrines of Plato, thus they called
themselves the old academy. Although their doctrine was not really pure because they
already associated it with platonic Aristotelian doctrines. There they come up with the
school that teaches the idea Plato and Aristotle and they called it the Neo-Platonism.144
The Neo-Platonism was considered as the last of the great pagan philosophies
that founded by Plotinus around 205-270 in the century before Augustine were born.145
Plotinus lived in a simple an isolated life, and accordingly he even refused to give
formal philosophical lectures to others. It was his disciple porphyry who revised the
works of Plotinus and organized it into nine groups and called it the enneads.
Augustine recognized the beauty of Neo-Platonism in its relationship to
Christian belief because for Augustine this was the closest pagan belief to Christianity.
Thus going back to Ambrose, it was the old bishop who introduced the Neo-Platonism
to Augustine because Ambrose style of presenting his Scriptural interpretation was
based on platonic. This impressed Augustine further than his fascination to the practiced
of his mother of the Christian faith. Although, Augustine was deeply influence by
Cicero’s Hortensius, however the Neo-Platonists were the most decisively molded his
philosophical methods and ideas.
Primarily, the view of Augustine of the things beyond senses (spiritual), he owed
it to the Platonist doctrine.146 Moreover, Augustine on his eagerness to live the
144
Vernon J. Bourke “The Essential Augustine” (USA: Hacket Publishing Company, 1974), 19.
145
Ibid.
146
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, VII, XX, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
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philosophy of Neo-Platonism led him to take it very seriously that when after he and
Ambrose met for the first time. This was for Augustine a great change from the
Manichean theory of good and evil being equally existent - a duality that he accepted
when he had been a Manichean in Carthage, in Rome, and briefly - but less so - just
after he had arrived in Milan. This view, in which the goodness of individual things
varies but everything is part of a whole from the point of view of God, allowed
Augustine to answer Manichean challenges about the source of evil.
Augustine also stated that it had been the books of the Neo-Platonists that
enabled him to accept the Gospels and the teachings of the Church as both intellectually
coherent and of value personally. By his own efforts, Augustine integrates well his Neo-
Platonic philosophy with Christian theology and spiritual tradition.
One of the Common manifestations of the influence of the Neo-Platonism on
Augustine is his development of the idea of interiority as both a philosophical and a
spiritual term, and his emphasis on the reality of the inner life.147 In this way, assisted by
his intellectual contact with the Neo-Platonists and with Ambrose in Milan, Augustine
succeeded in bringing together parts of the classical philosophy of his youth and the
popular - and almost anti-intellectual - Christian faith of his quite provincial
congregation in Hippo.
During the years of Augustine’s conversion. In the 380s and 390s, his writings
are heavily dependent on a fundamentally Platonic view of the world (world view), of
human nature (his anthropology) and human destiny (Christian life).
In the Milan as he met the intellectual Bishop Ambrose. He had encountered a form of
Christianity deeply colored by the conceptual structures of Platonist origin, and had no
conflict between his newly-accepted views of the world, of the soul and of good
and evil that were grounded in Neo-Platonism.
A tension began to open in the mid-390s, however, when his deepened

understanding of the Scriptural writings of Saint Paul questioned the compatibility of
the Platonic and Pauline conceptual frameworks. Although Augustine then made a huge
147
Vernon J. Bourke “The Essential Augustine” (USA: Hacket Publishing Company, 1974), 1.
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shift in his spiritual and intellectual mindset, Platonic philosophy still remained an
important underpinning within his writings
1.2.5.2.6 Symmachus:
Quintus Aurelius Symmachus was the cousin of Bishop Ambrose and he was
also a prefect of Rome in the year 340-402 AD.148 Symmachus played a vital role in the
life and conversion of Augustine, thus Augustine even describe him as a divine
providence. Augustine also regarded Symmachus as a patron because He was wealthy,
eloquent and respected leader of Rome that is why for Augustine he was everything.149
During those days a crisis struck the land of Rome that many of the inhabitants
flee to find their own comfort in other places. Crisis is not only in the sense of
necessities but in all things especially in the on the moral matters. Augustine though
fully aware of this issue, was not threatening because on the first hand Rome was his
dream land. An opportunity was given when during that time there was a vacant
position of rhetoric professor, then with great willingness Augustine took the
opportunity because it was in Rome. However, for some reasons Augustine was
transferred in Milan because someone asks Symmachus to have a new professor in
Milan. Then Symmachus granted the teaching position to Augustine. There Augustine
obtained the position easily because Symmachus, preferred to have a new teacher who
is not a Christian and during that time Augustine was not yet converted.
The influence of Symachus was great enough when the very moment that he
sent Augustine to Milan.150 For Augustine in his confession he stated there that “To
Milan I came, to Ambrose…to him I was led by you, Lord, that by Him I might
knowingly be led to you. That a man of God received as father… I hung on his word
148
Jacques Chabannes “St. Augustine” Trans Julie Kernan (USA: Double Day & Company Inc,
1962), 72.
149
Gerald Bonner “St. Augustine oh Hippo: Life and Controversies,” (Great: Britain Canterbury
Press Norwich, 1986), 71.
150
Chabannes “St. Augustine”, 13.
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attentively”151. It was the decision of Symmachus that for the first time he met the most
influential and intellectual bishop of Milan, Bishop Ambrose.
1.2.5.2.7 Alypius:
Alypius was also the born in the land of Thagaste,152 he was very familiar to
Augsutines because they were childhood friend and even steady friend of Augustine.
Though, he was younger than Augustine because Alypius became the student of
Augustine in Cartage.153 Both of them had their own similar journey in life. For the
reason that during Augustine’s youthful passions, he was his intimate companion, thus
both of them shared the same time of conversion and to the even in to the end shared the
same office as a priest and a bishop. When Alypius went to Rome, he became a lawyer
there and in 397. As a lawyer he was highly regarded there because although he was
young, he was able to stooped many scandals in the Roman government. Augustine
describe him a very religious, upright and has a strong integrity and a good sense of
justice.154
Notwithstanding their differences in age and education, their hinge was the
element of friendship “He was very fond of me, because he thought me goo and
learned, and I was very fond of him because of his natural tendency toward virtue which
was really remarkable in one so young.”155 They also shared the element of love in
learning and according to Augustine, “together with me he was in a state of mental
confusion as to what way of life we should take.”156
Alypius influenced Augustine on the idea of getting married, Augustine was
discouraged because for Alypius marriage would interfere a man for his own individual
searcjh of happiness, thus h pointed out it tat for Augustine married would be a
hindrance for his search of wisdom. Moreover, Alypius was a lifelong companion of
151
St. Augustine“Confession” Second Edition, VII, XIII, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
152
John M. Rist “Augustine” (USA: Cambridge University Press, 1997), 4.
153
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, VI, VII, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
154
Vernon J. Bourke, “The Essential Augustine” (USA: Hacket Publishing Company, 1974), 5.
155
St. Augustine“Confession” 103.
156
Confessions 6, 126-127
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Augustine that even during the conversion he was a great observer on the famous Tolle
Lege “the garden incident in Milan.” As Augsutine accounted on his confession that
after he read the Romans 13:13 from the Epistles of Paul, Alypius also took the
manuscript from him, and read on further himself to the sentence that advised the weak
in faith to accept Christ. Thus, the sentence led Alypius immediately to make a similar
conversion decision. On Easter Sunday of 387 they were both baptized by the Bishop
Ambrose. After their conversion for some years Augustine describe Alypius as the
brother of his heart, which means for Augustine, although they were distinct body their
intention, harmony, trust and friendship make them one.
1.2.5.3 Situations of Augustine’s conversion

The situation of Augustine’s conversion was very important because by this
situation, he was able to be influenced and on this situation his conversion occurs. The
Milan experience is one of the most significant because on this, the dramatic peak
experience of his conversion in the garden was happen in Milan.
1.2.5.3.1 Milan Experiences

In the year 384 to 386 in Milan,157 Augustine was able to pass the different
phases of his life. From, being a Manichean, to skepticism and finally in accepting the
Christian Religion. It was in Milan were he first met Bishop Ambrose and was also
influenced by him.158 Here Augustine on his admittance that though at first he does not
recognized Ambrose however upon his hearing of the sermons he was easily attracted to
it. Ambrose imprinted something on the mind of Augustine that he noticed, there was
unusual feeling of joy on his heart though he was challenged by the reasons.
Though skillful in oratory, Augustine found the preaching of Ambrose very
influential and powerful, that the words are in good choice that can easily swayed his
listener. The point there is that Augustine was amazed by how Ambrose presents his
157
Garry Wills, “St. Augustine” (USA: The Guernsey Press Company, 1999), 91.
158
Ibid.
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polished ideas and phrases. It was also here, that Augustine for the first time was able to
hear in the very mouth of Ambrose the Christian doctrine exposed in its literary form
and with mystical interpretations of the Bible, and he listened eagerly. Augustine soon
met Ambrose in person. In the confession he stated that "To Milan I came, to Ambrose...
To him was I led by You, Lord, that by him I might knowingly be led to You. That man of
God received me as a father... I hung on his words attentively”159
On the latter part the great influence of Ambrose was Augustine was attracted to
him and only in there that he was able to experience kindness in such leader.160 Ambrose
was also the reason why Augustine as able to discover the beauty of Neo-Platonism.
And finally Augustine describes Bishop Ambrose as sympathetic, seductive and one
who easily enticed others to live with Christ.
Seeing Ambrose was a positive influence on Augustine. It was the life of
Ambrose that effectively showed the doubting Augustine that a person of intelligence
could find the Christian faith totally satisfying. Here Augustine phases of conversion
were overlapping with each other because on his starter suppose that his moral
conversion would be first realized however it was the intellectual conversion that occur
very fast. For the first time in his life Augustine was meeting an intellectual circle of
Christians. In this company he was at ease with Christian belief.
It was also here that Augustine is now quietly appreciating the Christian
traditions. Though on his account that accepting the Christian tradition “Gasping under
their weight I could not breathe the pure and simple breeze of your truth.”161 Augustine
continued to accept the new tradition not as student but a mere spectator. When
Ambrose speaks about Christian doctrines Augustine would hurtfully remember the
moment when he was still a Manichean that he always contradicts the doctrines. This
led Augustine to experience despair which had prevented him from approaching truth,
than he did with what he once thought of the catholic faith.
159
Eugene Teselle, “Augustine” (Oxford New York: Oxford Press1986), 5.
160
Eleonore stump & Norman Leretzmann “Augustine: The Cambridge Companion”,
(Cambridge Press University 2002), 18.
161
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, V, II, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
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Nevertheless, even though he was greatly distress of so many things in his mind,
Augustine in his humility was patiently waiting: “Such questions revolved in my
unhappy breast, weighed down by nagging anxieties… But there was a firm place in my
heart for the faith, within the Catholic Church, in your Christ.”162 Troubled by his
sinfulness, Augustine realized that the Platonists offered no remedy. Seeing that they
lacked the fullness of truth, he went to the wise and holy Simplicianus, who would
eventually succeed Ambrose as bishop of Milan. Augustine was deeply impressed by
the story told to him by Simplicianus about the acceptance of Christ by the famous
orator and philosopher, Marius Victorinus.
And finally the experience in Milan was summarized in the momentous event in
the garden when Augustine had his conversion and on his confession he accouinted:
away.”163
1.2.5.4 Stages in Augustine’s conversion

The conversion of Augustine is divided into three phases, first is the intellectual
conversion which he was able to surpass the struggle for the search of wisdom. The
second is the conversion of the will, here Augustine experience different kind of
struggle especially on the area morality. And lastly, the conversion to Christianity, here
Augustine though hesitant because of his past experiences, however with the help of the
good Bishop Augustine was able to overcome his despair of committing to Christianity.
1.2.5.4.1 First Intellectual conversion

162
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, VII, V, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
163
St. Augustine. “The Confession”, Trans Maria Boulding, OSB. Ed. John E. Retelle, OSA.
(Hyde park: New York, 1997), 207.
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It was after the death of Augustine’s father that his first conversion happened.
Augustine decided to find his destiny on his dream land, the land Rome and this was
realized through the help of his friend Romanianus. Romanianus had supplied him with
the means of going, at last, to the city of his desire.164 Upon his arrival in Rome
Augustine’s desire to know more led him to seek schools rather than visiting places. In
one university where he enrolled, he became very prominent and was taught to be
skillful of presenting crooked ideas into very enticing and straight one. Being diligent
and abusive to his intellectual progress these become the reason why his first
conversion occurs.
Augustine’s intellectual conversion was accompanied by his youthful passion.
Like in his own words in Book II of confession: my delight was to love and to beloved.
But in this I did not keep the measure of mind to mind, which is the luminous line of
friendship. But from the muddy concupiscence of the flesh… both lust and love boiled
within me.165 The same with his experience in book III that sated, I came to Carthage
where a cauldron of illicit loves leapt and boiled in me.166 Thus, it signifies that on this
same period his youthful passions and curiosity launched him to discover the dialogue
of Cicero “The Hortensius”. Through this discovery Augustine found out that
Hortensius led him to experience the spiritual and material turmoil within him.
Hortensius moved him to search more about reasons and wisdom in short it causes him
to pursue philosophy.167
Hortensius is a dialogue written by Cicero through the inspiration of his wife’s
death. Hortensius is character in the dialogue that uses as art of oratory in delivering
arguments of philosophy. His character is knowledgeable in attacking and defending
through the use of his own favorite system of philosophy. Cicero accounted that
164
G. Papinni “St. Augustine” Trans Dorothy Canfield Fisher, (Norwich: The Canterbury Press,
1986), 104
165
St. Augustine,“Confession” Second Edition, II, II, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
166
St. Augustine,“Confession” Second Edition, III, I, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
167
Robert J. O, O’Connell “Images of conversion in Augustine,” (New York: Fordham
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Hortensius in summary prioritized the role of studying philosophy or divine wisdom
infinitely above that mere eloquence.168
Augustine, himself, indicated that upon his reading of the Hortensius, it was the
first significant turning point of his life, and the one in which he as directed to God.169
However Augustine was lost on his search for what is desirable and good. On his
reading of Hortensius the central problem was, while his eagerness to search this
wisdom was only a beginning or first movement to return to God. Yet the wisdom he
desired was only represented by very vague and abstract and infinite form thus,
Augustine has no idea of what truly is it.170 Augustine through the experience of
vagueness of what he desired, thus it brings him back to Christianity of his childhood.171
A change had certainly been imprinted on Augustine’s mind.172 At the moment,
however, Augustine was full of enthusiasm for the Ciceronian flights. Primarily because
Hortensius showed that to live solely according to one’s will is the extreme of evil; that
sensual pleasures alters one physical aspect, destroy the bod and expose on one to
danger and disgrace. Augustine realized that knowing the truth signifies a knowledge of
God and desiring happiness can only be attain by possessing wisdom completely. Thus
the famous word of Augustine “My heart is restless until it rest in you” is inspired by
Ciceronian mind.
Another thing that the dialogue Hortensius had ignited, that there was no
mention about Christ. As Augustine stated on his confession “…I could not entirely be
swept away by anything however learned, or well written or true, which made no
mention of this name,173 Augustine therefore decide to redirect his attention to the study
of the holy scriptures, but his examination ended in failure. He found no wisdom, only a
mass of crude stories and myths that were unworthy of comparison with those of Cicero
168
?????
169
Collin Starness, Augustine’s Conversion: A Guide to the Argument of Confession I-IX
(Waterloo: Wilfrid Laurier Press, 1990), 60.
170
(Waterloo: Wilfrid Laurier Press, 1990), 61.
171
Ibid, 54.
172
Gerald Bonner, St. Augustine of Hippo: Life and Controversies, (Britain: The Canterbury
Press Norwich, 1986), 202.
173
St. Augustine,“Confession”, Second Edition, III, V, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
(USA: Hacket Publishing Company, Inc. 2006), 41
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he wanted a wisdom that would impress the world wise. The scripture contained
nothing of the sort.174 The conversion up philosophy did not last. Its actual result was
Augustine gave up Christianity and became a Manichean.175
On Augustine’s encounter with the Hortensius he said:

Quite definitely it changed the direction of my mind, altered my prayers to you, O, lord
and gave me a new purpose and ambition. Suddenly all vanity I had hoped in I saw as worthless
and with incredible intensity of desire I longed after immortal wisdom. I had begun that journey
upwards by which I as to return to you. My father was dead two years; I was eighteen and was
receiving money from my mother for the continuance of the study of eloquence. But I used that
book not for sharpening of my tongue: what won me in it was what it said, not the excellence of
its phrasing.
How did I burn, my God, how did I burn to wing upwards from earthly delight to you.
But I had no notion of what you where to do with you. For you is wisdom. No love of wisdom is
what is meant by the Greek word philosophy and it was to philosophy that the book set me so
ardently.176
1.2.5.4.2 Second Conversion of the will.

Dissatisfied with conditions in Carthage, Augustine decided to go to Rome to
teach. Although still in the fellowship of the Elect he saw no way of going farther in that
false doctrine, and began to lose interest in even the principals with which he agreed.
On coming to Rome Augustine allowed himself to be regarded as a Manichee, and the
Manichees there helped him to open a school of rhetoric. However, teaching at Rome
was not as he imagined. Students would cheat a Professor, by going en masse to another
professor to avoid paying fees. Therefore, When the Symmachus, City Prefect of Rome,
received a message from Milan asking him to provide a professor of Rhetoric and
promising to pay the travel expense, Augustine applied. Symmachus arranged for
Augustine’s appointment at Milan.
Augustine likely owed the appointment to the fact he was not a Christian.
Symmachus was the greatest and most influential of the pagans at the time, and an
opponent of the Christian Ambrose. So Augustine went to Milan under the highest
174
(Waterloo: Wilfrid Laurier Press, 1990),” 62.
175
John J. Omeara, The young Augustine: The Growth of St. Augustine’s’ mind up to his
conversion, (London: Longmans, Green and Company, 1954), 56.
176
St. Augustine “Confession”, Second Edition, III, IV, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
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pagan patronage.177 27 Augustine frequently refers to Ambrose as one of the chief
human instruments in his conversion, while at the same time conveying he had no
intimate acquaintance with him. Ambrose provided Augustine with the synthesis of
Neo-Platonism and Christianity, which on the intellectual side brought him to the faith.
But the work was done through Ambrose’s sermons, which commended themselves
entirely to his intelligence. One could be a Christian he now knew without ceasing to
use one’s reason.178
Augustine gradually came to see Ambrose was speaking the truth, and that the
points he made could be defended. He had thought that the Catholic Faith could not be
defended against the objections of the Manichees, but he then saw how it could be
maintained on reasonable grounds – especially when he heard passages in the Old
Testament explained in a figurative way. The literal reading he had previously taken was
what had defeated him. Augustine became more and more convinced, listening to
Ambrose preach, that “knots of cunning calumny”179 deceivers had tied in attacks on the
Holy Scriptures could be unraveled. In particular, he discovered that the phrase “man
created by Thee, after Thine own image”, was not understood in such a way as to mean
that God is bounded by the shape of a human body.180 “But you, the highest and the
nearest, most hidden and most present, have no limbs or parts greater and smaller; you
are everywhere in your entirety, yet limited by no particular space; you are not of any
bodily form, yet you made man “after your own image” and, see, man is in space from
head to foot.”181 Ambrose would draw aside the veil of mystery and explain in a
spiritual sense the meaning of things, which if taken literally, appeared to be teaching
what was wrong. Augustine was happy when he heard Ambrose in his sermons
177
John J. Omeara, The young Augustine: The Growth of St. Augustine’s’ mind up to his
178
Ibid, 116.
179
St. Augustine, “Confession”, Second Edition, VI, III, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
180
Recoletos Seminary: Baguio City, 2007),
181
Ibid.,
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recommend to his congregations a rule to go by “The letter killeth, but the spirit giveth
life.”182
Augustine came to the conclusion that many of the philosophers held views
more probable than those of the Manichees. Therefore, in the manner of the Academics
– doubting everything and wavering between one thing and another - he decided that he
must leave them; and decided to become a catechumen in the Catholic Church until he
saw some certain light by which to steer his course.183 In time, Augustine became a
Christian Neo-Platonist like Ambrose was. Ambrose subsequently introduced him to
Mallius Theodorus, a noted lay Christian Neo-Platonist author, who introduced him to
the Neo-Platonist books he read. He also consulted the old priest Simplicianus, former
instructor of, and later successor to Ambrose, another Christian Neo-Platonist on the
Christian Neo-Platonist synthesis.
1.2.5.4.3 Conversion to Christianity

The interval between Augustine’s conversion to Neo-Platonism and his
conversion to Christianity cannot have been great. His final surrender to Christianity
came in August 386. His intellectual submission to Christianity was occasioned by his
reading of the writings of St. Paul, which he was reading to discover any accord
between his teaching and that of the Neo-Platonists. Neo-Platonism finally delivered
him from the two persisting difficulties so deeply ingrained in him by the Manichean
teaching of a material God and a principle of Evil. The Neo-Platonist teaching bridged
the gap between a material Manicheism and a spiritual Christianity. The immaterialism
of the former helped him to dismiss the materialism of the latter, and he rejected both
together for their pride and superstition.184
At this point Augustine was convinced of the truth of Christianity, however he
could not yet bring himself to practice it or to follow the chastity it demanded. “The
182
2 Cor. 3:6
183
St. Augustine, “Confession”, Second Edition, VII, XXI, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Michael P.
Foley (USA: Hacket Publishing Company, Inc. 2006), 136.
184
John J. O’Meara, The young Augustine: The Growth of St. Augustine’s’ mind up to his
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intellect was satisfied, but the will was inert” Therefore, he consulted Simplicianus
about his problem. That interview forced him to realize it was essential to profess the
Christian faith.185 Simplicianus also told him the story of Victorianus’ conversion and
Augustine became on fire to imitate him. The example of Victorianius narrowed down
the issue to one point, Augustine’s will on continence. 186
There quickly came another challenge to his will, and from that he emerged
converted. It was occasioned by a visit of a fellow African, Pontitianus, who related the
story of the Christian Egyptian monk, Antony. Augustine realized that It was either
himself alone incontinent, or himself with Christ, continent. The ultimate challenge had
come. “Was he going to follow the Neo-Platonists in their pride, who presumed to rely
on reason alone and themselves to practice virtue and arrive at union with the One?
Victorinus had not done so. Antony, the desert monks and the couples of Trier had
practiced continence-but only because they had accepted Christ, who had sustained
them in their life of asceticism? Would he not also follow their example? He wanted
above all to do so – there was really no choice-he only lacked that final act of will and
it, he knew was possible:” While Ponticianus was speaking, Augustine relates that the
Lord was turning him around so he could see himself; a foul sight: crooked, filthy,
spotted, and ulcerous.
He narrated that he saw himself and was shock that he nowhere to go or to
escape from himself, that he felt God is forcing him to look into his own face so that he
might see his own sin and in order hate it.187 I had thought the reason why I was putting
off from day to day the time when I should despise all worldly hopes and follow you
alone was because I could see no certainty toward which I could direct my course. But
now the day had come when in my own eyes I was stripped naked and my conscience
185
186
Ibid, 172.
187
St. Augustine “Confession”, Second Edition, VIII, XII, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
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cried out against me … I was being gnawed at inside... Lost and overwhelmed in a
terrible kind of shame.”188
After Potincianus left, St. Augustine lashed his soul with every scourge of
condemnation to follow him now that he was trying to follow God. He withdrew to a
garden attached to his lodging, flung himself down on the ground under a fig tree, and
gave free rein to his tears. “Suddenly a voice reached his ears from a nearby house …
and in a kind of singsong the words were constantly repeated: “Take it and read it. Take
it and read it.”189 Augustine checked the force of his tears, rose to his feet, and snatched
up the book of the Apostle Paul. He opened it, and read in silence the passage upon
which his eyes first fell: “Not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and
wantonness, not in strife and in envying, but put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make
not provision for the flesh in concupiscence.”190 When he reached the end of this
sentence it was as though his heart was filled with a light of confidence and all the
shadows of doubt were swept away.191 “The conversion of Augustine, of his intellect
which could not resist the truth, and of his will which could resist the good, was
accomplished.”192
Conclusion
Augustine’s journey towards conversion pass through different phases, thus it
implies that on his journey factors and influences are immanent to contribute on his
lifelong journey towards conversion.
Primarily, Augustine’s conversion rolls over on the influence of his mother
Monica. Monica was the one who first introduced everything about spiritual matters and
faith. Her persistence to remind Augustine on how to develop his mind by sending him
to school, led him to value education throughout his life. Monica was also the one who
188
St. Augustine “Confession”, Second Edition, VIII, XII, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P. Foley
189
Ibid, 159.
190
Ibid, 160.
191
192
Ibid, 179.
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embarked the value of morality to Augustine’s mind. Moreover, it was also Monica who
insisted Ambrose to speak to him, and this she earned bits of promises to for the
conversion of her son. Finally, her dream summarized everything about her life-long
wish of conversion for his son. Though, in the life of Augustine account, that every
piece of his mother’s advice imprinted a mark in his heart.
Second influence is the good bishop Ambrose, Ambrose played a very
instrumental role in the life of Augustine. It was Ambrose who convince him about the
truthfulness of the catholic doctrines. Moreover, Ambrose was also the one who allow
Augustine to savor the virtues like, kindness, patience, love and being a good shepherd
to his people, because Augustine experience it to Ambrose. Lastly Ambrose was the one
who introduced Augustine to the new set of philosophical system the Neo-Platonism.
Third, influence is influence of Cicero’s dialogue, “the Hortensius”. Cicero’s
Hortensius help Augustine to re-track his pursuits of bodily pleasures. The reason
behind this is that, the Hortensius give more emphasis to the value of pursuing the
wisdom through philosophy. He was able to re-align his view of bodily pleasure
because in the Hortensius bodily pleasures are just hindrance of pursuing happiness.
Fourth, for nine years Augustine was a member of this sect though it influences
him on the negative side because of its false doctrines. However it Helps Augustine to
exercise his intellectual wittiness that he was able to abandoned and refute it. It also
helps Augustine for his point of departure for his moral conversion.
Fifth, is the Neo-Platonism, the Neo-Platonism though a pagan cult but for
Augustine it was the closest movement to the Christianity. Neo-Platonism molded
Augustine’s philosophical views concretely; it also helps him to understand things
beyond senses. And finally it was also the Neo-Platonism who helps him to accept the
Gospels.
Sixth influence was a pagan leader named Symmachus. It was Symmachus who
allow Augustine to become a professor in Rome and was also the one who re assign
Augustine to Milan where he was able to meet Ambrose and his conversion occurs in
the garden. For Augustine Symmachus was God’s providence that led him to his
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ultimate conversion. And lastly his childhood friend Alypius, it was Alypius who let
Augustine understand the value of marriage, because for Alypius marriage at some
point will hinder the pursuits of an individual to a great search for happiness.
Augustine’s conversion took over 32 years that is why influences may differ from each
other but ultimately it contribute something to the development of Augustine’s mind,
will and heart.
Augustine’s conversion is clearly materialized in a very particular situation, and
it is in Milan. This place or event played a very important role in Augustine conversion,
because her, he was able to identify things clearly and maturely. It also in this place that
his ultimate conversion in the dramatic garden of Milan where he was able to hear the
voice of the child saying “Tolle Lege”.
Augustine had also stages of his conversion. And first is the intellectual
conversion. This conversion signifies the shift of his intellectual pursuits. Being indulge
with the sensual activities, Hortensius help him to abandoned and re-align his desire to
the pursuits of wisdom through philosophy. Second is the conversion of the will. Being
a number a Manichean influence him so much about negative and false doctrine,
however, during this stage together with the encounter of the old bishop Ambrose,
Augustine was able to re-direct his will on the accordance of catholic teaching. His
conversion includes the abandonment of Manichaeism, the government post and being a
rhetoric teacher. And lastly the third conversion was a conversion to Christianity. His
total surrender to Christianity took upon his reading of the epistle of St. Paul. Also by
the help of the Neo-Platonism, that enlightened him to grasp the connection of material
and spiritual realities.
The garden scene is just an example of Augustine’s conversion. Thus, his
conversion cannot be pointed out in a single instance. His conversion is widely an
intellectual ascent or emotional experience. But rather a reorientation of total way of
being in the world. Conversion can simply mean, an abrupt change of religious attitude
accompanied by a highly emotional experience, a change from lost a Godless state to
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God filled. However, ultimately conversion is a painful and lifelong process fraught
with doubt, ambiguity, great discomfort, and risk and will demand to high degree.
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Chapter IV
AUGSUTINE’S CONVERSION AS VIEWED FROM THE RELIGIOUS
EXISTENTIALISM OF KIERKEGAARD
Introduction
This chapter after solely discusses the interrelation and the integration of what
Kierkegaard pointed out as his doctrine of religious existentialism to the conversion of
Augustine. Moreover, these includes the evaluation and elaboration of stages that
Kierkegaard presented as his major elements of his doctrine do religious existentialism,
namely: the aesthetic, the ethical and the religious stage. Furthermore as Kierkegaard
suggested that existence sphere is does not occur if elements for point of departure is
not present, this chapter also discusses the different point’s factors of existence sphere,
such as the idea of anxiety, element of remorse and the leap of faith.
Through the presentation of Kierkegaard’s doctrine of religious existentialism
the researcher was aided to view particularly the conversion of Augustine, the purpose
of exposing the analysis of Kierkegaard about the existence sphere, because it is the
frame work that is to be utilize in viewing the conversion of Augustine. This chapter
helped the researcher to see if the conversion of Augustine is parallel to the religious
existentialism of Soren Kierkegaard.
Aesthetic in Augustine’s conversion:

When Kierkegaard presented the three human analysis, he therefore believed
that human existence is truly govern by this reality. He pointed out that human reality is
subject to what he called the existence sphere, where later on give rise to the idea of
religious existentialism. Each individual passes the three stages of human reality, the
aesthetic stage, the ethical stage and the religious stage. According to Kierkegaard,
aesthetic stage revolves into the circle of immersion of the self to any kind of sensuous
and emotional desires.193 Person in this stage experience the hunger for enjoyment and
193
Kierkegaard: Understanding the Christian Father of Existentialism Article ID:
JAF6363 | By: Michael W. Austinhttp://www.equip.org/article/kierkegaard-understanding-the-
christian-father-of-existentialism/
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excitement but neglect anything which relates to a kind of stability life.194 The view in
life they have is full of uncertainties thus, an act of ignorance makes them certain that
life is reality full of misery and value of satisfaction and happiness is necessary to forget
it. However for Kierkegaard the right time will suggest that life in the aesthetic stage is
full of temporality. Hence he will experience despair realizing that concrete, stable and
lasting commitments are necessary.
In Augustine’s conversion, Kierkegaard’s first analysis, the aesthetic stage has
its big parallelism. Taking to account that Augustine on the first place is coined as a
great sinner that turn into a great saint. In Augustine’s confession particularly on book
one to three. Elements of aesthetic stage are very evident.
When Augustine was sent to school by his parents, he already admitted that his
intellectual capacity is unique and very clear. That is why, expectations flushed over
him. Augustine was not able to play any games because his parents and masters are
strict. They do not allow Augustine to play because for them, unhealthy leisure might
just drag him in vain. They are persistent to make Augustine to focus solely his entire
self for study. “I disobeyed, not because I had chosen better, but through sheer love of
play: I loved the vanity of victory, and I love to have many ears tickled with the fictions
of the theater which set them to itching ever more burningly: and in my eyes a similar
curiosity burned increasingly for the games and shows of my elders”195
Augustine presented this that learning is not fun anyway if this ii cause by force.
On the other hand games and shows are his likes during this time. Moreover, Augustine
on the area of learning pointed out one element of aesthetic. “All goes to prove that free
curiosity is more value in learning than harsh discipline”196
Augustine on his part, was able to learn though it was not fur a personal
willingness but through a command. He was able to justify that by fruits of his
learning, he was praised and acknowledge by many. Although he admitted that for many
194
Frederick Coplestone, “Contemporary6 Philosophy” (London, Search Press:
Paramus New Jersey. New Man Press 1972), 150
195
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, I, XI, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P.
196
Ibid. I, XIV, 16.
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times saying a lie is not big issue anymore. “I told endless lies to my tutors, my masters
and my parents: all for the love of games, the craving for stage shows, and restlessness
to do what I saw done in those shows”197
When Augustine reaches the adolescent period, more aesthetic experiences he
had undergo. During this time Augustine was expected by his father Patricius to be in
company with the opposite sex. The reason because, according to their tradition, every
male that will arrived at this stage of adolescence is expected to have sexual relations to
identify if the adult is potent of having babies. Also this will caused a family a great
rejoicing if their child is potent. There’s a case when Augustine was in the public bath,
and his father was also there. However, this discovery is not a problem for him, thus
Patricius already know that his son is now interring the stage of manhood.
“Augustine experience a deep involvement to sexual matters and on his account

“I arrived now at adolescence, I burned for all the satisfaction of hell, and I sank to the
animal in a succession of a dark lust: my beauty consumes away, and I sank in thine
yes, yet was pleasing in my own anxious to please away the eyes of men.” 198
Augustine was opted to join any lustful activities, by the reason that his,
intention is to find the delight for love thus, for him it is easily found in lustful
activities. He stated again that “My one delight was to love as to be loved but in this I
did not keep the measure of mind, which is the luminous life of friendship; but from the
muddy concupiscence of the flesh and hot imagination of puberty mists steamed up to
be a cloud and darken my heart so that I could not distinguish the white light of love
from the fog of lust.”199 Augustine delivered that this stage s full of forgetfulness that
lust and disoriented desires is higher value than anything else.
Augustine narrated a very particular event in his life where he was able to
experience such a great excitement of sinning. In his confession Augustine stated that he
was a member of blackguards a group of children who enjoyed playing late at night and
sleeping late at night. He stated that there was a pear tree near their vineyard with a
197
Ibid. I, XIX, 20.
198
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, II, I, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P.
199
Ibid.
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heavy fruits. Though it is not delicious, yet for Augustine the intense and excitement of
getting those fruits makes it sweet and fun.
“The pear tree itself is not tasteful, that our plant is more delicious. It was the act of
sinning that makes them comfortable and for them a pleasurable. Our only pleasure in doing it
was that it was forbidden.”200
“The pears were beautiful but it was not a pear that my empty soul desired. For I had
many number of better pears of my own and plucked those only that I might steal. For once I
had gathered them I threw it away, tasting only my own sin and savoring that with delight for if
I took so much as a bite of any one of those pears it was sin the sweetened it.”201
Augustine at the age of sixteen to eighteen spent his time to cartage. Augustine
really had a desire to go to land of cartage because he knows that there are better
schools there, yet ultimately his reason is to be independent on his own, to live without
his parents. When Augustine arrived at cartage he did mention that I was a cauldron of
illicit loves that waken his bodily desire.202 Augustine experiences the hunger yet also
enjoyment of love, a love that is full of carnal pleasures. It is also here that Augustine
was influenced by a companionship whose desire is to indulge Thiers selves to lustful
things and they called themselves “over turners.”
Augustine in his desire for eloquence led him to separate himself with those
wicked companions. Here Augustine was still studying at cartage and part of their
subject matter is the reading of Cicero’s book the Hortensius. Through the encounter of
Augustine and the book Hortensius, finally he was able to settle in his life as
aestheticism. Cicero’s book the Hortensius is a complete philosophical exhortation. On
Cicero’s account, the Hortensius is a priority on studying philosophy or divine wisdom
infinitely above then mere eloquence.203
Ethical stage in Augustine’s conversion:

200
Ibid. II, IV 29.
201
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, II, VI, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P.
202
Ibid. III, I, 37.
203
Collin Starness, Augustine’s Conversion: A Guide to the Argument of Confession I-
IX (Waterloo: Wilfrid Laurier Press, 1990), 54.
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According to Kierkegaard, ethical stage is a pursuit on how to live according
ethical standards.204 An awareness to the dynamics of what is right and wrong. An
individual is easily identified with the ethical if he/ she, is now conscious about their
own personal duties in the society and in the self.205
Another, for Kierkegaard ethical person is externally a complete man, so to say,
if man is studying, he is a university man, if married a good and responsible husband
and if a worker, a competent one.206 Contrary to the aesthetic person that ids busy of
sensuous and worldly desires, ethical is also busy of having a commitment through a
personal choice.207
In Augustine’s conversion it was after his encounter of Cicero’s book the
Hortentius that the shift from aesthetic to ethical happened. Augustine on his part upon
being enlighten about the truth of life, experience radical shift ethical stage. He was also
able to realize that what he had enjoy before "sensuous activities" cannot really
compensate the hunger inside him.
“That particular book called Hortensius that contains exhortation of philosophy.
Quite definitely changed the direction of my mind, altered my prayers, and gave me a
new purpose and ambition. Suddenly all the vanity I had hope in I saw as worthless and
with an incredible intensity of desire I longed after immortal wisdom.”208
This particular shift to sensual to intellectual pursuit is mark that Augustine was in fact
able to overcome. Through this intellectual pursuit of Augustine, it is clear that
Hortensius imprinted something in his mind the directory between what is fundamental
between sensual pursuits and the pursuits if the divine wisdom.
204
http://article.sciencepublishinggroup.com/pdf/10.11648.j.ijp.20140201.11.pdf Nature
of human existence in Kierkegaard’s ethical philosophy: A step towards self-valuation and
transformation in our contemporary world.
205
Paul Roubiczek, Existentialism for and Against (USA: Cambrigde University Press,
1996), 9.
206
William F. Lawhead, “The Voyage of Discovery: A History of Western Philosophy”
(Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company, 1996), 427
207
Ibid, 416.
208
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, III, IV, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P.
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In Cicero’s book the Hortensius, Augustine narrated that the book contained a
reminder between a true journeys of wisdom and eloquence. There he was reminded
that philosophy is deceiving “and many seduce men’s minds by philosophy colouring
and covering their errors with its great and fine honourable name.”209 This allow
Augustine to be vigilant about how others may appear as good but bringing an entire
inside. Hortensius, delighted so much Augustine because it teaches him on how to love,
seek and win and hold embrace, not this or that, philosophical school but wisdom itself,
whatever it might be.210
Augustine’s intellectual conversion, was later on directed to the other way
around, instead of pursuing the track of philosophy, he ended up being a Manichean.211
“I fell in with a sect of men talking high sounding nonsense, carnal and wordy men.”212
The Manichean sect attracted Augustine for nine years. And during this time it is also
sad that Augustine took his partner and later on had a child which he named adeodatos.
This partner of Augustine throughout his book confession is not mentioned, however an
account said that the girl he take is a slave girl where he really not intended to marry but
only for the satisfaction of the flesh. However, Augustine considering his own family,
he therefore is responsible to look for any means for their own consumption. This is
accounted that literally Augustine’s eagerness to become a teacher, has a hidden
agendas. Not solely that he want to become a good professor but also to become a good
father. There he began a small school and thought grammar.213
Being influence by the Manichean sect, Augustine therefore consider the
different and absurd claims of the group as true. Examples, universe is govern by two
fundamental elements, the light and the darkness, which boiled down to their second
claim about the legality of sex. Manichaeism therefore claimed that sex is already part
209
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, III, IV, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P.
210
Ibid.
211
John J. O’Meara, The young Augustine: The Growth of St. Augustine’s’ mind up to
his conversion, (London: Longmans, Green and Company, 1954), 56.
212
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, III, VI, 42.
213
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of human nature because of his weakness.214 Consequently, considering again their idea
that the God of darkness is the source of all evil, therefore man is out of picture when
committing mistakes. Yet when the time has come that Augustine is supposed to
abandoned the sect. he realized that Manichaeism is an intellectual flatterer that only
seeks supposed scientific answers.215 Augustine’s gift of cleverness led him to settle
things especially the vague theologies of Manichaeism. Furthermore, the view of
Manichaeism concerning the cosmic evil and strife in the world, allowed Augustine to
justify his own sinful tendencies as actions beyond personal control.216 Though for nine
years, Augustine admitted that “were seduced and we seduced others, deceive and
deceiving by various desires, both openly and secretly.”217 He therefore regretted that
true he was attracted to the sect but also led others to follow them. I was astray myself
and led others astray as we deceived and deceived others in various forms of self-
assertion, publicly by teaching of what are called liberal arts, privately under the false
name of religion.218
When Augustine was already successful in his teaching profession his inner self
felt some kind of personal and spiritual turmoil. The reason behind this was the great
bishop of Milan Ambrose. After winning the position as a professor through the help of
Symmachus, Augustine was assigned in Milan. Here upon hearing that Bishop Ambrose
was a good defender of the faith, Augustine out curiosity would attend his public
sermons. Through this, Augustine was interested through only the style but not in the
content of how Ambrose present his sermons. Moreover, it is only here that though
Augustine is not totally convinced of the catholic faith, however he attended the church
regularly, and it is also here that he was able to understand the gospels.
214
215
Ibid, 27.
216
Ibid, 22.
217
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, IV, I, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P.
218
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, IV, I, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal P.
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Augustine’s continuous struggle of his personal turmoil was enlightened by the
story of simplicianus and pontincianus. Thus, Augustine was able to gradually settle his
own self through their inspiration. However final resettlement was accompanied by a
great struggle between pride and humility. And with this the ultimate conversion
happens in the garden of Milan.
away.”219
Augustine narrated these words in his confession “I was suddenly asking myself
these questions, weeping all the while with most bitter sorrow, in my heart. And I
stemmed the flood of tears and stood up.”220 This word signifies that Augustine’s
personal turmoil is at the peak, yet immediately calmed through the help of St. Paul’s
epistles. After his reading, Augustine was already clarified about everything especially
the cause of his inner struggle. Here Augustine felt what Kierkegaard suggest about an
ethical person to shift in a higher level, the religious stage. The struggle of Augustine is
similar to the element of despair in Kierkegaard’s point of departure for ethical to
religious stage.
The religious stage in Augustine’s conversion:
On Kierkegaard’s analysis of the final stage, the religious. He pointed out
different kinds of identification. Such as, man who is in religious stage is aware of
something infinite that owed his existence. A person that already achieved the religious
St. Augustine. “The Confession” Trans Maria Boulding, OSB. Ed.John E. Retelle,
219
OSA. (Hyde park: New York, 1997), 207.

220
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stage is now aware that all his efforts are subject to the providence of God.221 A
relationship is built between man and God and not just for ethical responsibilities. And
lastly, the complete awareness of the inability of reason to comprehend faith, which
boils down to the idea of “LEAP OF FAITH.” 222
The first experience of religious stage in the conversion of Augustine was during
the time where he and Pontitianus met. The story of Victorinus and Antony of Egypt,
questioned Augustine about why is that those without education were interring the
kingdom of heaven, while he with all his learning was still captive by the flesh.
In Augustine’s conversion, religious stage is greatly materialized in the last
scene of his conversion that take a place in the garden of Milan. On the course of his
struggle with his personal and spiritual struggle, he wrote, “When all at once I heard a
sing a song a voice child sing a song, voice of a child in a nearby house. Whether it’s a
boy or a girl I cannot say, but again and again it repeated the refrain “take and read,
take and read.”223 Augustine consider this as divine call thus, remembering the place
where he and his friend Alypius stayed, he immediately went there and put on his hand
the letters of apostle Paul. Augustine was able to encounter the scripture passage that
says. Not in dissipation and drunkenness, nor in debauchery and lewdness, nor in
arguing and jealousy; but put on the lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the
flesh or the gratification of your desires.224Augustine did not even finish the scripture
passage for he was able to justify that, for an instant, as I came to the end of the
sentence, it was through the light of confidence flooded into my heart and all the
darkness of doubt was dispelled.225Augustine’s experience of the religious stage is
clearly identified when the moment that he was really distressed and one last thing he
did was to let the situation be in accordance of the plan of God.
221
http://fidei-defensor.blogspot.com/2006/10/soren-kierkegaard-existentialism.html
Soren Kierkegaard, Existentialism, Nominalism, and the three spheres of existence.
222
Leslie Stevenson & David L Habernan, “Ten Theories of Human Nature” (New
York : Oxford University Press, 2004), 177.
223
St. Augustine, “Confession” ??????
224
NAB (Romans 13:13-14)
225
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, VIII, XII, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal
P. Foley (USA: Hacket Publishing Company, Inc. 2006), 160.
Casiciaco Recoletos
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Prior to that Augustine was already experiencing other elements of religious
existentialism such as viewing the things as God’s providence and the affirmation of the
self through its sinfulness226. When Augustine was at the point of experiencing the great
struggle of the self, he heard a voice of a child that is repeatedly saying “take and read,
take and read.”227 Augustine viewed this particular situation as a providence of God that
later on led him to his conversion. The affirmation of the self through sinfulness was
materialized when he was able to read the letter of Paul to the romans which says “Not
in drunkenness and carousing not in sexual excess but put on the lord Jesus and make
no probation of the flesh.”
Augustine after reading this particular stage, he even stated that he was not able
to finish the whole sentence primarily because for him this passage is really meant for
him. Augustine after his great feeling of personal and spiritual turmoil even experience
a certain kind of doubt, about everything but particularly his existence. However, his
doubt cannot really bothered him so much, by the reason that the garden exist and its
surroundings are clear, and one George Sergel stated in his commentaries in the garden:
Augustine doubt his existence, yet by the very fact that his presence touches the land
where the fig tree is present.228 Augustine cannot continue on his struggle with doubt.229
Augustine’s doubt is later on subjected to the view not of his presence but instead on his
sinfulness. Here it clearly analyze that Augustine’s doubt is a product of his sinfulness.
The doubt that Augustine is felt is about the course of accepting and understanding of
his conversion. Though in his confession Augustine would exclaim that “why is not my
voice heard?”230 However still he has the fear of accepting the right time that God would
grant him the conversion.
226
Kierkegaard: Understanding the Christian Father of Existentialism Article ID:
JAF6363 | By: Michael W. Austinhttp://www.equip.org/article/kierkegaard-understanding-the-
christian-father-of-existentialism/
227
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, VIII, XII, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal
228
Serge Lancel “St. Augustine” Trans Atonia Nevill, (London: SMC Press, 2002), 76
229
Ibid.
230
St. Augustine, “Confession” Second Edition, VIII, VII, Trans F.J Sheed. Ed Micheal
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Relationship of the three stages:
As Kierkegaard would explain that every stage are interrelated with each other.
It is like concentric circles that caters each stage. It is said that Aesthetic stage when
reach the transition to ethical and ethical to religious, does not guarantees that each
stage leave permanently the former stage. Kierkegaard explain this as, in the aesthetic
when it arrived on the transition to ethical, sensuous elements of the aesthetic are not
banished but suppressed became the ethical consist ethical and moral responsibilities.
An ethical standard makes it hidden that is why from time to time aesthetic elements
come up. The ethical in some moments is encompassed by the aesthetic and vice versa.
However, in the case of religious all actions of suppression in aesthetic and ethical are
already understand and appreciated as gift of God.
In Augustine’s conversion, after his reading of the Hortensius, Augustine was
enlightened about the priority of wisdom than bodily pleasures.231 This from of
transition is accounted as his first intellectual conversion. However, this did not last and
on the latter part Augustine falls to the sect of Manichaeism. His involvement to the sect
led him to go back to the aesthetic stage. It is because the sect has its positive view on
the concept of sex, because for them sex is not the fault of man, that it is really part of
its nature and weakness.232 This led Augustine to go back to aesthetic although he was
already in ethical stage. And in the religious, when Augustine attained the religious
stage though he felt the guilt of being sinful in the past, yet primarily the positive view
of taking it as an experiential gift of God for the preparation of his conversion vanished
the guilt that he felt. There he was able to appreciate things in the past and affirmed it as
God’s providence.
When Kierkegaard tries to explain his claim about the relationship of the
existence-sphere, He pointed out a particular bond between the ethical and the religious
stage, but affirming a particular scene in the Pentateuch, the story of Abraham sacrifice
of his son Isaac. Abraham was commanded by God to go to the mountain and sacrifice
his only beloved son Isaac. This dilemma confronted Abraham, thus having the
231
Garry Wills “St. Augustine” (USA: Guernsey Press & Company. 1999), 42.
232
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universal norms of morality such as, parents should love his/her children. This situation
highlighted that Abraham was trapped between the two goods, is one is following the
universal norms and second is following the higher good which is the command of God.
Abraham here became the model of what Kierkegaard would say about authentic faith,
and was able to live in the religious stage.233 Abraham’s faith with the higher and
absolute (God) commanded him to forgo with the universal demand of morality. This
pointed top what Kierkegaard suggest that a person who is in the religious stage
considers faith as most essential and authentic.234
Again Kierkegaard presented this story of Abraham to validate his claim of what
is teleological suspension. According to Kierkegaard universal principles of morality is
really part of man’s identity. Yet, when a higher call is recommended, especially the call
of God, universal principles can be suppressed. Kierkegaard’s clear evaluation of this
teleological suspension is clearly originated with the story of Abraham’s sacrifice of his
son Isaac.235
A concrete example of what Kierkegaard say about the relationship of every
stages in the conversion of this happen, Augustine, upon hearing the different kind of
inspiration through Pontitianus and Simplicianus realized that to be a follower and
embrace the life with God. Augustine for his search of wisdom ignited it through the
reading of Hortensius, however, as he would say “here was I still postponing the giving
up of worldly happiness.”236 Augustine though at the level of religious stage was also
hesitant to give it up solely. Augustine’s second prayer to this in which he stated that
“Grant me chastity and continence but now”237 Augustine acknowledging the central
view of religious stage had also a fears of abandoning it. As Kierkegaard would say that
it is inescapable in human reality to abolish concretely the former stages for it already in
233
234
Jacob Golomb, “In Search of Authenticity from Kierkegaard to Camus” (London;
New York: Routledge, 1995), 63.
235
236
237
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man. A proper understanding about this matter would give us a good impression and a
good realization of our self. In understanding the final stage, the religious, Kierkegaard
put an emphasis to this that it, the aesthetic and the ethical is absorb in the context of
relational to the presence of God.
Pathos in Augustine’s conversion:

Kierkegaard’s notion of pathos points out to the idea of a force which also
caused a person to search for stability. For example, an individual is lacking of this what
Kierkegaard called pathos because it only seeks things that interest and satisfy him. An
individual cannot moved forward to the another stage if this is not present. To
summarize this pathos, Kierkegaard suggests that it is only an element of faith that
recognized something beyond and concrete.
In Augustine conversion, this pathos as an element of moving to another stage is
also present. Basically Augustine already experience this pathos from the beginning.
His mother Monica already instilled in his mind when he was still a child the value of
faith, particularly in catholic faith. This extend when Augustine was about to be
baptized when he was still a child but was postponed because of his sickness. On his
journey though Augustine was lost but the pathos in him is always present that at some
point it intervenes for his decision making. The moment that Augustine was succumb to
different kind of worldly allurements, the book Hortensius reminded him about the real
journey of life that is, the journey through wisdom and not with bodily pleasure. The
pathos here is the moment when Augustine re-tracks his pursuit and considering the
wisdom behind that bodily pleasure defile and destroy man but wisdom seek the infinite
and the divine.238
One clear example of this pathos that lead Augustine to his conversion, is the
faith when he was about to be converted. Recalling his experience with the voice of the
child that says “suddenly I heard a voice from a house nearby perhaps a voice of some
boy or a girl, do not know- singing over and over again, pick it up and read.”239 This
Eugene Teselle “Augustine” (Oxford New York: Oxford Press1986), 10.

238
St. Augustine. “The Confession” Trans Maria Boulding, OSB. Ed.John E. Retelle,
239
OSA. (Hyde park: New York, 1997), 207.

Casiciaco Recoletos
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Experience of Augustine vibrates the beauty of pathos when the moment that he was
able to hear this Augustine consider this as the call of God. His pathos directed
Conclusion:
According to the analysis of Kierkegaard, human reality is truly based on what
he called the doctrine of religious existentialism. Where human individual is
confounded with its three major stages namely: aesthetic, ethical and the religious stage.
Kierkegaard also presented the pivotal elements of this doctrine of religious
existentialism, such as the element of despair and the leap of faith.
In viewing Augustine’s conversion to the doctrine of Kierkegaard’s religious
existentialism, it is clear that Augustine’s conversion had really pass over the three
stages. In the aesthetic stage of Augustine’s conversion, primarily as Kierkegaard would
summarized it, that it is the valorization of the self to different kind of pleasurable
things, accompanied with the generalization of the self to sensual activities. Augustine,
when exploring the level of aesthetic experience the majority of what Kierkegaard
presented the aesthetic stage. Augustine when he was a child learn to be a deviant to any
rules, especially the rules of his parents and masters, for the reason that his attention is
really attracted to the beauty of games and theatrical shows.
In his curiosity Augustine experience so many things and this boils down to his
search of what is truly love. Basically, Augustine on his search directed it the pursuit of
bodily pleasures and even joining the groups that are indulge with sensuous activities,
which named as the overturners. Augustine on the account of robbing the pear tree
experiences the same elements of aesthetic, excitement and curiosity. When he stated
that that getting those fruits for personal consumption does is not really their intention,
because according to Augustine their plant has a better taste. What they really like was
the act of sinning, and for Augustine it makes the fruits sweeter. These accompany the
elements of excitements knowing that it is prohibited.
When Augustine is experiencing the aesthetic stage, he was then a
student in cartage. Thus, a shift was introduced to him because of his encounter of the
Casiciaco Recoletos
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book Hortensius. Ultimately, this book of Cicero is a philosophical exhortation and had
given an emphasis to the pursuit of divine wisdom rather than pleasurable things. This
led Augustine to embrace the ethical stage upon knowing that sensuous activities can
defile and be a hindrance to the pursuit of wisdom. Augustine on his shift to ethical
stage experience the same reality that Kierkegaard presented. Knowing the initial
purpose of the self through the book Hortensius, there Augustine was enlightened about
his moral and societal obligations.
Augustine basically abandoned the group where he had belong the overturners.
Who love to spent all time for sensuous and rioting activities. This is one of the
examples of ethical person. However ended all his efforts to the sect of Manichaeism,
here Augustine was able to have his partner and had a relation that later on bore him a
son which he name adeodatus. Augustine was as a parent needs to support all the
means for his own family. This is also a kind of ethical elements as being responsible
parent. Augustine o his cleverness was able to realize that the group he believed as
possessing the truth is false. He therefore, abandoned the Manichaeism because of its
absurd claims. On his encounter with the good bishop Ambrose, Augustine realized so
many things, especially his past experiences and sinfulness. There, as he experience a
kind of personal and spiritual turmoil, Augustine’s conversion that occur in the garden
of Milan is triggered by his feeling of personal and spiritual turmoil that has a close
relationship with Kierkegaard’s concept of anxiety.
In viewing Augustine’s conversion through the religious existentialism of
Kierkegaard. The researcher found out that it is true that Augustine’s conversion is an
experience of religious existentialism by the reason that the conversion of Augustine
passes the three major stages of existence-sphere in the aesthetic, ethical and the
religious. However, there are some, vital elements of religious existentialism that are
lacking in his conversion. But in general, the converson of Augustine is an experience
of religious existentialism.
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Chapter V
Recommendation for further Studies
The researcher would like to recommend this for further studies:
First is to study the general notion of existentialism and its major components.
This is very helpful to better understand every principle that would consider things or
people in an existential form. Understanding the general notion of existentialism is a
good attempt to clearly identify its strength and weakness of existentialism. Moreover,
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considering the dichotomy between the two kind of existentialism, the theistic and the
atheistic, is also very helpful. Furthermore, in order to identify what are the
encompassing principles of the existentialism. Also to include different personalities
that are acknowledged as existentialists wither they are on the theistic or theistic
existentialism. Thus to have a better grasp with this, might be helpful to understand why
existentialism is consider as philosophy and what is the mean goal of this philosophical
thought,
Secondly, the researcher would like to recommend for further studies to include
and understand the philosophical speculation of Soren Kierkegaard. Primarily, because
the researcher considered directly the core of Soren Kierkegaard’s religious
existentialism, the existence-sphere, and was not able to evaluate the different views of
Kierkegaard about the different filed of philosophy. Like his metaphysics, epistemology,
cosmology and other fields of philosophy. The researcher wanted also to recommend
that a proper understanding of different views of Kierkegaard is necessary because this
led him to conclude different realities, especially the reality of man.
Thirdly, the researcher would like to recommend that considering the field of
philosophy in Augustine is very relevant to have a good understanding about his
identical notion to what this modern philosophical thought, existentialism would
present. The reason behind is that, though it is true that existentialism is a modern term
for this kind of understanding things, but it is said that that Augustine was one of its
pillar why existentialism flourish.
Therefore, understanding t only his journey towards conversion should be consider but
also his philosophical grounds would give us a good foundation to conclude if
Augustine is truly and existentialist.
Fourthly, the researcher would like to recommend, to consider other works of
Augustine. The researcher would like to suggest, to widen the view of getting
information’s if Augustine’s case, because the researcher solely get his findings and
analysis in his autobiography, the confession. Though it was a good attempt to
understand hid his life and journey but to consider his other works like the city of God,
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De libro arbitrio, his criticisms and defenses to the catholic doctrines, his reflection,
sermons and realization would be a great help to further elaborate the analysis on his
journey, life and philosophy as an existentialist.
And lastly, the researcher would like to suggest that in viewing Augustine’s
conversion in the doctrine of religious existentialism. It is also relevant that the analysis
would not solely revolve in their life and experiences or not to focus in their particular
situations where the religious existentialism, the existence sphere s evident. A good
attempt will be recommended to include their on philosophical views and look at the
differences of their views. This might be very helpful to understand the different
elements of why they are coined as an existentialist, but ultimately this will be a good
foundation to understand every area of Augustine’s conversion in view with the
religious existentialism of Soren Kierkegaard.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Primary sources:
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studentium Casiciaco Recoletos Seminary: Baguio City. 2007.
____________Notes in Augustinology. Vol 2, ad usum studentium
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Augustine. “The Confession” Trans Maria Boulding, OSB. Ed. John E. Retelle, OSA.
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Kierkegaard, Soren, The concept of Anxiety. Trans Reidar Thomte, Priceton, NJ:
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Kenny, Anthony “The Oxford Illustrates History of the Western Philosophy” Oxford
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Herwitz, Daniel Aesthetic “Key Concepts In Philosophy” London: New York 2008, 9.
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MacNamara, OP. Sr. Marie Aquinas “Friends & Friendship of St. Augustine” (USA:
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New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition, Luke 6:31. Pauline’s Philippines. 2004.
_______Romans 13:13-14 Pauline’s Philippines. 2004.
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Omeara, John J. “The young Augustine: The Growth of St. Augustine’s’ mind up to his
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University of New England Australia.
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| By: Michael W. Austinhttp://www.equip.org/article/kierkegaard-
understanding-the-Christian- father-of-existentialism/
Soren Kierkegaard, Existentialism, Nominalism, and the three spheres of existence.

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existentialism.html, Nature of human existence in Kierkegaard’s ethical
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the- Christian-father-of-existentialism/
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AUGUSTINE’S CONVERSION AS VIEWED FROM THE

A Thesis submitted to the

In Partial Fulfillment of the

1.1 Background of the Study

1.3 Scope and Limitations of the Study

1.4 Significance of the Study

1.5 Review of Related Literature

1.5.3 Augustine’s Experience of Religious Existentialism

The researcher uses method of expository. An expository study is respectable

1.7 Thesis Structure

____________Notes in Augustinology. Vol 2, ad usum studentium

Grene, Marjorie. “Introduction To Existentialism.” University of Chicago. 1948.

Gardiner Patrick .“Kierkegaard” Oxford University press: 1988.

Lawhead, William F. The Voyage of Discovery. Belmont, USA: Wadsworth

O’Connel, SJ, Robert “Images of Conversion in St. Augustine’s Conversion

Lewis,Ph.D Gordon. “Augustine and Existentialism.”

2.2 Kierkegaard’s Life

2.3 Kierkegaard’s Influences

1.2.3.1 Father and Son: Inherited Melancholy

1.2.3.2 Regine Olsen: The Sacrificial Love

1.2.3.3 The Corsair: Attention Grabber

1.2.3.4 The Attack: On the Christendom

1.2.3.5 Bishop Martersen: Negative Influences

1.2.3.6 Heiberg and Andersen

1.2.3.7 Plato and Socrates: the model of Dialectic

1.2.3.8 Hegelian influences: The Love of Paradox

Along the course of Kierkegaard’s criticism to the Hegelian philosophy,

1.2.4 Kierkegaard’s Doctrine of Religious Existentialism

Is despair an excellence or a defect? Purely dialectically, it is both. The possibility of

In Kierkegaard’s work Sickness unto Death, using the pseudonym anti-climacus,

Kierkegaard concept of anxiety is most closely connected with his idea of

1.2.4.5 Story of Abraham (suspension of the ethical)

1.2.4.6 Leap of Faith

1.2.5 Stages and life’s ways

1.2.5.1 Aesthetic Stage: Dynamics of Boring and interesting

The stage of existence is characterized by the following: immersion in sensuous

1.2.5.2 Ethical Stage: A Responsible Man

1.2.5.3 Religious stage: Knowing God

1.2.5.2 Factors of Augustine’s conversion

A tension began to open in the mid-390s, however, when his deepened

1.2.5.3 Situations of Augustine’s conversion

1.2.5.3.1 Milan Experiences

1.2.5.4 Stages in Augustine’s conversion

1.2.5.4.1 First Intellectual conversion

On Augustine’s encounter with the Hortensius he said:

1.2.5.4.2 Second Conversion of the will.

1.2.5.4.3 Conversion to Christianity

Aesthetic in Augustine’s conversion:

“Augustine experience a deep involvement to sexual matters and on his account

Ethical stage in Augustine’s conversion:

OSA. (Hyde park: New York, 1997), 207.

Pathos in Augustine’s conversion:

Eugene Teselle “Augustine” (Oxford New York: Oxford Press1986), 10.

OSA. (Hyde park: New York, 1997), 207.

The researcher would like to recommend this for further studies:

William McDonald. “Soren Kierkegaard,” http://www.iep.utm.edu/kierkega/.com,

Kierkegaard: Understanding the Christian Father of Existentialism Article ID: JAF6363

Soren Kierkegaard, Existentialism, Nominalism, and the three spheres of existence.

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