MEMY WARDANI ELTHIA

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WOW .......EVERYONE SHOCKED THAT ELOPEMENT IS LEGAL?

In many cultures, marriage becomes a life process it is because it through marriage

that new life is marked and full maturity is obtained by men and women. Before the wedding
day, there are processions or rituals that differ from one culture to another. (Parlindungan,
2004: 20-22) noted three processes leading to marriages that commonly occur, namely
engagement, marriage together, and elopement. The engagement and elopement are two
processes leading to marriage that are more commonly known in Indonesia. The tribes in
Indonesia use more the engagement system before marriage. Like the Mbojo Bima tribes,
they use the engagement system before marriage because that is the custom and the rules in
their culture. Mbojo tribes does not use the term of elopement because it can violate
customary rules that apply there. Unlike the mbojo tribe, one of the customs held by the
Lombok Sasak tribe is Merarik (elopement). Lombok society maintain the Sasak merarik
tradition because it is a concept of loyalty to the Sasak tribe tradition and a noble heritage that
has become a tradition (Adnan, 2004: 64). Therefore, the Merarik tradition is still maintained
and should be maintained in Sasak Lombok culture.

Merarik is the symbol of man virility (superiority). Merarik provides an opportunity

to the youth to be married and to show manhood. The nature of the male figure is a symbol
of the husband who is responsible in any condition to the survival of his family. According to
Lalu Sulaiman, L. Dyson, and Soedirham Oedojo (2016:46), "The man who did merarik has
established himself as a formidable. This is because the perpetrators merarik, as stipulated in
Sasak, must be done at night are to face any risk. If the courage to face risks as it meant, a
man had been considered established enough to protect themselves and their families from
all sorts of dangers ".
The prestige of women in their families. Merarik Culture in community of Sasak tribe
is believed to be one way to uphold the dignity of women. On the basis of this belief, a girl
who was rushed no way be considered as a breach of contract (violation of rules) by the
family of man over woman's family. A girl who was rushed was considered to have certain
privileges, thus attracting the hearts of men. Whereas, the woman's family feels insulted, if
merarik is not done by the man. According to Customary leader in Lalu Sulaiman, L. Dyson,
and Soedirham Oedojo’s Journal (2016:46) , “The women in Sasak's view are very valuable.
Therefore the bride must not be asked or proposed. When a man asks to marry a girl by
visiting her home directly, the girl’s family considers that the prospective man is like asking
for a chicken. Therefore, to obtain the necessary struggle, only men fighter is eligible to
marry a girl”. Besides that, (Syanti Mustika, 2019) also said “We have a tradition of merarik
(elopement). If proposing or making an engagement between them, it can violate customs and
become material gossip. If there are men and women love each other, so the best way is the
man come to women’s home secretly to merarik with her”.
Merarik can create a sense of togetherness among the whole family and society
(Pradana: 2015). In the tradition of merarik there are several things that have to be done by
prospective brides and grooms, such as midang, merarik, menyelabar, ngawinang,
nyongkolang and bejango. In those all prosesions the both of family need others help to
make their sons and daughters' wedding ceremony successful. For example, a few days
before the wedding begins, the bride and groom’s family do some kinds of preparations
called begawe. Such as cooking food and setting up the wedding tent. Because begawe
merarik can be done in mutual cooperation between families and villagers. So , Merarik
tradition can increase the relationship between families and communities so the togetherness
is created. People can gather and stay in touch with one another. Because merarik is not only
build the relation between wife and husband, but also build relation between the girl’s family
and the man’s family, between one village with another village, and a society and another.

But on the other sides, merarik also can causes conflict between families (Ahmad
Fathan,2011). Disagreement of one party against the taking of girls often lead to conflict
between them. Because, some practices in the tradition violate the women's rights and their
parents. Women cannot choose a future husband that they love. in addition, cases of early-age
marriage also often occur. Likewise with the education rights, when Sasak women are
married, most of them eventually drop out of school.

According to Lalu Sulaiman, L. Dyson, P and Soedirham Oedojo (2016:46)

“I was married when I was 14 years old, it was in the second grade junior high school, now I
am 19 years old and have given birth three times”. Besides that, according to public figure
on International SAMANM Journal of bussiness and sciences “ We may not be able to
control the age of our children's marriages, because we cannot predict when our children
will be taken / stolen in connection with the culture of merarik that has been adopted by
Sasak people”.
 In conclusion, every culture has a different marriage tradition. Like the Mbojo Bima
tribes, they use the engagement system before marriage because that is their custom, and
Sasak Lombok tradition, which requires the bride to be taken away (merarik) by the groom
before marriage. So, every tribe in each region certainly wants to maintain their cultural
customs. like the Sasak Lombok tribe which has the merarik (elopment) tradition. Merarik
tradition should be maintained in Sasak Lombok culture because merarik is the symbol of
man virility (superiority), The prestige of women in their families, and Merarik can create a
sense of togetherness among the whole family and society.
 REFRENCE

Adnan, S. 2004. Pergeseran Nilai-nilai Adat Marari Pada Masyarakat Suku Sasak Lombok
(Studi Pada Kecamatan Ampenan, Kota Mataram, Provinsi Nusa Tenggara Barat). Tesis.
Semarang: Universitas Diponegoro.

Fathan, Ahmad. 2011. Potensi Konflik Pada Tradisi Merarik di Pulau Lombok. UIN Sunan
Ampel Surabaya.

Lalu Sulaiman, L. Dyson, P & Soedirham Oedojo, 2016. Merarik Culture in Connection with
Early Marriage and Divorce on Community of Sasak Lombok Island in the Province of West
Southeast Nusa Indonesia. International SAMANM Journal of bussiness and sciences
Volume 4 No.1 (page 46-47).

Mustika, Syanti. 2019. Tradisi Pernikahan Unik di Indonesia: Kawin Lari di Lombok, dalam
https://travel.detik.com/domestic-destination/d-4544475/tradisi-pernikahan-unik-di-
indonesia-kawin-lari-di-lombok (Di akses 15 Desember 2019, jam 22:13 WIB).

Parlindungan, T. 2004. Budaya Kawin Lari dan Akibat Hukumnya Pada Masyarakat Suku
Lampung Pepadun di Kecamatan Negeri Sakti Kabupaten Tanggamus Provinsi Lampung.
Tesis. Semarang: Universitas Diponegoro.

Pradana, Ayang. 2015. Pemertahanan Tradisi Kawin Lari Suku Sasak Di Desa Sade, Pujut,
Lombok Tengah Dan Potensinya Sebagai Sumber Belajar IPS Di SMP Negeri 2 Pujut,
berbasis kurikulum 2006. Artikel. Singaraja: Universitas Pendidikan Ganesha Singaraja,
Indonesia.