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Copyright © Yvette Langmaid-Buttery 2007

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any
means, without written permission from the author and publisher Yvette Langmaid-
Buttery, other than the purchaser printing a copy for their own use. Reproduction or
copying of this book in whole or in part without written permission from the author and
publisher is prohibited, and violators will be prosecuted.

LEGAL INFORMATION:

This book was written for the purpose of providing help, guidance and motivation in
getting organized. It is not intended to be taken as the word of a professional in the
legal, medical, financial, or any other field, and no responsibility is accepted. The book
is written based on the opinions of the author and is intended to be helpful only.

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Organized for Life


Yvette Langmaid-Buttery

This book is dedicated to my beautiful children,


Lola, Ruth, Angus, Asha and Lauren.

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Contents
Welcome to the second edition 9
Introduction 10

Chapter 1

What’s so good about being organized anyway? 12


What disorganization looks like, recognize any of this? 15
What does your current level of organization say about you? 17
Isn’t it boring? 17
Can you learn to be organized? 18
Forming habits 19
Decision making 21
Calendars and diaries 23

Chapter 2

Causes of disorganization 26
Accepting responsibility 27
Feelings 29
Self image 32
Indecision 33
Perfectionism and ‘all or nothing’ mentality 36
Procrastination 38
Guilt 40
Distraction 41
Giving up 43
Inertia, inability to get started 43
Time management, getting the balance right 45
Motivation 49
In summary 52
If you’re really struggling 53

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Chapter 3

Step 1: Establish basic daily routines 56


Morning routine 57
Afternoon or arriving home and dinner routine 69
Evening routine 77
Work routines 81
Make a time estimate for each routine 82
Summary 83
Some more comments about the basic daily routines 84

Chapter 4

Step 2: Establish a basic weekly routine 88


At home 89
At work 97
List the tasks and estimate the time required for each 98
Schedule these items 99

Chapter 5

Details of weekly household tasks (or How to Do Housework) 102


Changing sheets and towels 102
Cleaning bathrooms 103
Cleaning floors 107
Quick floor clean 109
Liquid spills 109
Ironing 110
Rubbish/garbage bins 111
Cleaning out the fridge 111
Meal planning 112
Making your shopping list 114
Grocery shopping 115
Putting shopping away 115
Recording your spending 117
Bills and paperwork 117

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Budgeting 121
Lawns and gardening 124
Feeding and maintaining your car 124

Chapter 6

Step 3: De-cluttering, organizing storage & detailed cleaning 126


Schedule regular sessions for this activity 126
The room rotation system 127
De-cluttering – how to get rid of your junk 128
De-cluttering and junk clearing, room by room 136
Kitchen 136
Laundry 138
Bathroom 139
Hall cupboard, Linen closet 139
Master bedroom 140
Children’s bedrooms 142
Lounge/living/family room 143
Dining room 144
Study, home office 144
Garage 146
How to tidy up and keep tidy 146
Finding places for all your stuff, room by room 148
Kitchen 150
Laundry 152
Bathroom 152
Hall cupboard, Linen closet 154
Master bedroom 155
Children’s bedrooms 157
Lounge/living/family room 158
Dining room 160
Study, home office 160
Hallways 164
Keys, handbags, briefcases & mobile phones 165
The phone 167
Garage 167
Detailed cleaning room by room 168
Kitchen 169

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Laundry 170
Bathroom 170
Hall cupboard, Linen closet 171
Bedrooms 171
Lounge/living/family room 171
Dining room 171
Study, home office 172
Garage 172

Chapter 7

Step 4: Balancing how you spend your time 173


Extra items for your daily routine 173
Family and social time 175
Your health 176
Your spiritual well being 177
Relaxation and pure enjoyment 178

Chapter 8

Step 5: Planning time, goals and lists 180


Planning time 180
Making and achieving goals 182
Managing your To Do list 187
Lists 188

Chapter 9

Division of household labour 190


Switching between activities 193

Chapter 10

How much can you do whilst caring for children 195


Children and household chores 196

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Working from home whilst caring for children 198
Children and routines 202

Chapter 11

Summary 203
A few key things to remind yourself as you go along 204

About the author 207

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Welcome to the 2nd edition

Thanks to the encouragement and feedback I received from readers


of the first edition of this book, I’m very happy to be bringing out a 2nd
edition; revised, expanded and improved.

Don’t let the level of content put you off or make you feel
overwhelmed. It’s an easy read, and it doesn’t matter how long it
takes you to get through all the steps, just that you make a start with
the first one and take it from there.

Naturally, I write from the point of view of a mother of young children,


but the material is applicable to anyone in any situation. I’ve tried to
include examples to cover different lifestyles. I hope you’ll take the
information and adapt it to suit your circumstances. Just skip over
any sections which don’t apply to you.

Writing something and deciding it’s finished, at least for now, is


difficult to do for someone who tends to be a perfectionist. I could
continue to improve my work indefinitely, but that would mean not
following my own advice, which is to let go of those tendencies in
favour of a more sensible approach of deciding how much time to
devote to each activity, and getting on with it.

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Introduction

Hello and welcome to Organized for Life. I want things to start


getting easier for you right now.

I’ve really enjoyed writing this book. I’ve written as if I’m talking to
myself, which I am. I need this advice as much as you do. Keeping
my own life organized is always a work in progress. What I’ve written
here is just what I say to myself as I go along trying to keep it all
together, keep my life balanced and get ahead with the things I want
to do.

We all have different things going on in our lives, but living as well as
we can comes down to pretty much the same sorts of things for many
of us. I hope you’ll find things you can relate to in this book and be
inspired to take steps to make your own life easier and more
enjoyable through organization.

Our home might be a house, a flat, an apartment, a bungalow, a


caravan, a studio, a bed-sit, a castle, a dorm room, a houseboat, and
probably many other possibilities I haven’t thought of. Whatever sort
of home we live in, it’s a big part of our lives, and needs to be a
sanctuary where we feel perfectly at ease. You deserve to live in a
home that is comfortable and welcoming and makes you feel good.

And our homes are not the only areas of our lives that benefit from
being organized. We also have our parenting, work, study, leisure
time, social and family life, hobbies, health, and goals.

Whether you’re working outside the home, working from home, a


student, retired, a full time homemaker, a parent, a carer or whatever
sort of life you have, applying the principals of organization to
anything you want to improve will benefit you and those around you.

Although this book goes into a lot of detail about identifying and
making decisions about every little area of your life, I’m not about
getting all obsessed with lists for their own sake. I’m a self confessed
obsessive list maker, in remission, and they can either be very useful

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or they can be a burden, depending on how you use them. The stuff
I’ll be suggesting you write down is there to serve you, not the other
way around. It’s about making your own routines that work best for
you. Don’t be put off by the level of detail.

So what do you want to get out of this e-Book? How about this:-

You know exactly what you’re doing each day and why you’re doing
it. (The why is very important).

That in itself is a wonderful thing. Doubt and indecision are energy


drainers and bring stress we just don’t need. If you know what you’re
doing and why you’re doing it, what is there to worry about? Knowing
you’ve made good choices feels great, and once you get that
confidence in your choices, by thinking them through and defining
them, it’s much easier to carry them out.

You can still be flexible, in fact you’ll be more flexible and adaptable
than before, where you choose to be, but you won’t be meandering
along just letting life happen to you. Being organized allows you
more freedom, not less, or you’re not doing it right.

You’re the one in the driver’s seat. It’s your life. Tidy it up and make
it nice for yourself, so you can stop being distracted by all the niggly
details and get on with the business of being happy. Because being
happy is what it’s all about.

Striving to be organized is something anyone can attempt, which is


always worthwhile, and can be done alongside whatever other things
you may be doing to improve your life.

You can start as small as you like, and extend those skills on as large
a scale as you like. The smallest improvement towards organization
can make a huge difference to your life.

Let’s do it.

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Chapter 1

What’s so good about being organized anyway?

Well I’ll tell you.


You don’t have nearly as many things to worry about. When you’re
organized, so many things are just not a problem.

You don’t have to feel guilty. Not necessary any more. You’ve done
what you committed to do and you’re confident in your decisions.
And the main reason for that is that you’ve actually made decisions,
so you’re quite clear about what you’re doing.

You’re ready for visitors or to go out at any time. That’s because


you’re happy with how your home looks, and happy with how you
look yourself, all the time.

If you’re working and you need to unexpectedly meet with someone,


it’s not a problem. That’s because you always look your best, and so
does your workplace.

Spontaneity is much more possible when you’re organized. You


don’t have to ‘get ready’ for things or put in a lot of preparation work.
You’ve done that already, and you’re always ready.

You feel on top of things and that you’re getting ahead as well. You
enjoy the feeling of knowing that each day you’ve made progress,
achieved something, taken a step in the right direction. You can see
the achievement of your goals as attainable, and you’re enjoying the
journey.

You’re proud of your home, and it’s a lovely, comfortable and relaxing
place for you and your family. Keeping it clean, tidy and organized is
something that just happens, easily. You keep it that way because
you like it that way. You do it for yourself.

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You feel the same way about your personal workspace. You keep it
tidy and well organized because you like it that way. You do it for
yourself, because you like and respect yourself.

You know where to find things, and it’s natural for you to put things
where they go, because you know this makes it easier for you. Your
belongings all have a place where they go.

Your finances are in order. You know what’s coming in and going out
and where you’ll be financially in 3 months time, 6 months time and
so on. Money is not something you have to worry about at all,
because you’ve already had a good look at your finances, made
suitable plans, and have an ongoing system and routine for sticking
to your plan and managing your money.

Your appointments and commitments run smoothly. You have a


habitual way of deciding whether you will commit to something or not,
and then recording it in your calendar or diary, and checking your
diary daily. It’s so simple it just seems to happen by itself.

Your working life, your career or your business is running smoothly


and advancing as you want it to. You’re happy with what you’re
doing because you know why you’re doing it and you’re happy with
your decisions.

You’re relationships run smoothly and you spend time with those
people you want to spend time with. The time you spend with your
family and friends is more enjoyable and relaxed because you’re not
worrying about all the little details of running your life.

You’re happy with the balance of how you spend your time in all
areas of your life, and don’t feel guilty or worried about neglecting
things.

What more does anybody really want? If you know what you’re doing
and why you’re doing it, you’ve eliminated a great deal of stress and
self doubt. It means you’ve made some decisions and you’re happy
with them, and those decisions, if acted upon, will bring you the

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results you want. You can stop worrying and enjoy the present
moment.

And what results do we want? We all want to be happy, and in order


to be that way we make thousands of little and big decisions as we go
through our lives. Those decisions range from things we aren’t even
really thinking about, like how I’m sitting in my chair at the moment, to
things we may agonize over for years, like career and relationship
choices.

If we’re using our time well, carrying out the best possible decisions
we’ve made, we should be living as happily as we are able to, and on
the right path to growing and improving ourselves in the ways we
want to.

Being organized can mean all sorts of things. Some might think it’s
just about having your belongings stored in an orderly way and using
a calendar or appointment diary correctly. Those things are part of it,
but to be able to do those things, you need to first have a basic grasp
of time management.

Yes I know, the words ‘time management’ make me want to have a


little nap too, but don’t be afraid. It needn’t be like one of those
boring work seminars I was sent on years ago. I’m just talking about
a shift in attitude about who is in control of your time. You are, of
course, and I’m going to talk about how to get that working better for
you.

The other vital ingredient to being organized is decision making, and


I’ll be going on about that quite a lot. Decision making is a huge
factor in our lives in so many ways, and one of the biggest obstacles
to organizing. I’ve found it to be at the bottom of a lot of things I’ve
struggled with, and I’ve found it’s very simple to get that working
better too.

Being organized means you’re in control. You can find all your stuff,
you can get stuff done, and most importantly, you know what stuff
you’re doing. That’s it.

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Yes, I’m going to talk about where to put your stuff, what to do with
your stuff, what stuff to do and how to get your stuff done. But first,
I’m going to dig quite a bit deeper. I want to get to the bottom of what
causes disorganization in the first place.

Being organized can be quite simple, but when you’re not, it certainly
doesn’t seem that way. It really can seem rather daunting.
Sometimes the simplest things seem overwhelming. The thought of
getting dressed or cleaning up after breakfast seems too much to
face. Other times we just work and work and can’t seem to stop.

A lot of us have ups and downs like this as part of the everyday
business of living. Every day we’re confronted by negative influences
from outside, from those around us and the media, and also from our
own internal stores of negativity. These things can be overcome, not
just by changing our thinking, but by creating habits, routines and
systems for ourselves that just make things automatic.

Knowing what organized looks like doesn’t always help us live that
way. Some people struggle to keep it up, or only manage it in some
areas of their life. Others just let things happen and suffer the
consequences, not feeling they’re capable of changing. And just
letting things happen leads to disorganization, and in case you didn’t
know, disorganization looks like this:

What disorganization looks like.


Recognize any of this?

Being late for work, looking like you got dressed in the dark,
overstuffed bags with things falling out of them, sinks full of dirty
dishes, kitchen benches covered in stuff, a dirty floor, things growing
on things, in the fridge, in the bathroom, overflowing rubbish bins, bad
hair days, ill fitting clothes, missing buttons, unopened mail that’s
scary, lots of pizza boxes, sitting in your dressing gown all day, very
bad smells from various parts of the house and in your car, overdue
work or study assignments, frequent lateness and missed
appointments, furniture and even whole rooms not being used

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because they’re covered in stuff, sad house plants, neglected and
overgrown gardens, clutter, junk and hoarding, mess mess mess,
parking tickets, credit card debt and the interest payments that come
with it, letting people down, constantly apologising, looking for
excuses and things and people to blame, late payment fees, being
unhealthy, losing work, setting a bad example for your kids, being
depressed by the whole thing, feeling overwhelmed, car accidents
from rushing, losing things, buying things you’ve already got, rushing
through a crowded supermarket at the worst possible time, running
out of petrol, missing birthdays, failed studies, failed attempts at
reaching goals, failed businesses, living out of the laundry basket,
half finished projects, borrowed or lent items not being returned,
ideas that never get carried out…..

Hopefully none of us ever experience all these things, or at least not


all at once, but most of us will have experienced at least some of
these things at some time.

Some people may do really well in one area of their lives but badly in
others. For some people it’s really just cleaning that they struggle
with, and there are some pretty extreme examples on that TV show
How Clean Is Your House.

Other people might have things really clean, but they’re always late,
or keep running out of petrol, or tend to forget things. Some people
will clean excessively as a way of avoiding other things. Others
swing between doing things perfectly and not doing them at all.

It can be quite funny, or just annoying and frustrating, or dangerous if


things get too out of hand. And let’s not forget expensive.

One of the worst things about disorganization is the sadness that


comes with the mounting list of things undone that you wanted to do.

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What does your current level of organization say
about you?

A person who is happy and in control of their own life, will naturally
look after themselves and their surroundings, and someone who is
not doing so well will tend to ‘let themselves go’, and neglect their
surroundings as well.

I strongly believe in not judging people, but we certainly form an


impression of people based on how they maintain their appearance,
their home and their belongings, how punctual they are, how
professional in their work they are, how courteous they are, how well
they conform to social customs and so on.

That doesn’t mean if we see someone badly dressed and groomed,


whose car is running badly and is full of rubbish, whose house is
dirty, who is often late, who forgets things and so on, that we’ll dislike
them and think they’re a bad person, but we will very likely form the
impression that this person is struggling in life and not entirely happy,
and we’d be right.

We don’t want to go through life worrying about what other people


think of us, nor be motivated by that, but we can have a look at
ourselves and ask what does the impression we give say about how
we’re coping with life. We want it to show that we’re happy and in
control of our own life, and of course for that to be true.

Isn’t it boring?

Some people strongly reject any suggestion that things like


cleanliness, tidiness, calendars, lists, schedules, routines, self
discipline and letting go of clutter can help them. They feel these
kinds of things just don’t matter in life and will stifle their creativity and
make them boring and rigid, make them feel tied down and burdened
with details. I would argue that the opposite is true.

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The goal of getting organized is not to bog yourself down with lists
and details and have no flexibility or opportunity for creativity in your
life. It is to have the essential details that make your life easier
practically take care of themselves because they’ve become so easy
for you they are automatic.

Tidiness and the absence of clutter, will actually free you up and
reduce stress. That’s really difficult for hardened hoarders to get their
head around, but it’s true.

Having a set way of doing mundane but essential things, that make
your life more pleasant and easy, frees you from having to make
those boring little decisions over and over again on a daily basis.

When you’ve gone through the steps I describe in this book, you may
worry about the sheer volume of things you have written down,
especially if you have a very busy life.

It’s just a tool though. It’s there to help you fully assess everything
you’ve got going on and everything you want to do, and find a way to
make it work and reduce un-necessary decision making.

It’s just about making decisions in an organized way, so that you


don’t have to make so many every day, and can just relax and get on
with it, without being distracted by worrying about other things. As
you settle into your new chosen habits and routines, you’ll rely less
on what you’ve written down because much of it will be automatic to
you.

Not having to think or put much effort into the routine stuff frees your
creativity and energy for whatever matters the most to you. Your life
is less boring when you get it organized. Honestly.

Can you learn to be organized?

Being organized is just a life skill which can be learned.


Just like
when you meet people who seem to have naturally impeccable

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manners and wonderful conversational skills, people who seem
naturally and easily organized were not necessarily born that way.

Perhaps they picked up those skills from their upbringing, or perhaps


they learned them as they went through life. Like good manners and
conversation skills, the ability to be organized can be work in
progress for the rest of your life. The desire to always be improving
yourself and to be the best you can be is a sign of emotional health.

Anyone can learn to be organized. A lot of disorganization is simply


the result of a lack of skill or knowledge or experience, and with a
little help and advice, it’s sorted. But motivation has a lot to do with it
as well. So as well as knowing or deciding what needs to be done,
how we want things, we have to address the things that are stopping
or hindering us as well.

Forming habits

There are many things we do on a regular basis, and without


realizing it we have made decisions and systems and routines for
doing these things to make them easier.

Each time we come to do this thing, again and again, we don’t have
to work out and decide all over again how we’re going to do it. We
just do it without thinking. It’s easy, because we’ve done it so many
times before and it’s just automatic.

Things like brushing your teeth, backing your car out of the driveway,
making your morning cuppa. Think of all the skills you have learned
in your life. You can read and write, maybe drive a car, play an
instrument, touch type, or cook.

You had to put some effort into learning those skills, but once you
learned them, you didn’t have to learn them all over again each time
you needed to use them. You just do it automatically now, and with
experience you get better at it.

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The more things in your life that work this way, the simpler your life is.
This is why we are ‘creatures of habit’. It’s comforting for things to be
the same and predictable, because it means less decision making is
required, and decision making can be hard work.

When we follow our habitual ways we don’t have to think. And your
habits can be whatever you choose. You have full control over what
they become. So if you add more of the little practical things to your
‘auto pilot programme’ so you don’t have to think about them, you’ll
sail along with less effort expended on routine things, and can apply
your effort and direct your attention to more important things,
whatever they are for you.

The more things there are in your life where you don’t have a system
in place, the more you will be interrupted by the need to make a
decision, and the more you will tend to put off making one.

So the mail piles up because you didn’t know automatically what to


do with it, so you just put it down for now. Things get untidy because
you finished with something and didn’t know automatically where to
put it, so you just put it down for now. Your dog missed his walk
again today because you didn’t automatically know how to fit it in and
the time just didn’t seem to be available. You didn’t get any work
done on your project today, because you weren’t sure exactly what
you needed to start on or do next, so you left it for when you have
‘more time’.

When you don’t know ‘automatically’ what to do, you feel indecision
and self doubt, and you’re confronted with not just the task of doing
whatever it is you need to do, you’re also confronted with the task of
deciding what you will do, how you will do it, when you should do it,
whether you can do it, whether you should do it and so on.

Does this sound familiar? Does it sound like procrastination? That’s


often all procrastination is, a decision that has not been made, a habit
that has not been formed, self doubt. So that letting things go
becomes the habit.

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Your habits are fully within your control. I’ve heard it takes 3 to 4
weeks to form a habit, and that seems true to me in my own
experience. I also find it’s best to concentrate on one at a time for the
most effective development of a new habit.

You don’t have to get rid of old habits; you just replace them with new
ones. When you successfully form a new habit, your subconscious
mind takes it over for you. Your patterns of thought are altered, with
all the little electrical signals that go on in your brain, and it just gets
easier and easier and more automatic.

Lots of old but good self help and motivational books will tell you that,
and it really is true. Once you make something a habit, it can
become nice and easy, second nature. The reason it becomes easy
after a month is that your subconscious accepts it as normal and
takes over for you, to free up your conscious mind for other things. It
just seems to take about a month.

Think about playing the piano. In order to be creative with it you have
to have the basic skill first. That means your subconscious mind
knows where all the notes are; you’re not having to use your
conscious mind to find them.

It’s like a walking path. You follow the existing one because it’s wide
and easy to see, but there’s a much better route to your destination
which is overgrown with weeds and harder to see. If you walk the
new route consistently, every day without fail, within a few weeks
weeds have grown on the old one and the new one is clear. It’s so
clear you can walk it without thinking.

Decision making

Making decisions is something we’ve got to come to grips with, and


to make it easier, like anything, you systematize it and form a habit of
following that system. This is the simple system for making
decisions. You already know it, but sometimes you might need to
remind yourself.

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1. Recognize that you’re feeling indecisive and that there is a choice
here to be made. Do you need to make a decision, or have you
already made one?

If you’ve already made one, and it was made while you were feeling
positive, and there’s no important new information or situation now
that affects it, trust your own judgement and follow that decision.

If you do need to make a decision, set aside time to make it, whether
it’s a few seconds or a few hours. Can you do it right now or do you
need to set aside a time? Make sure you’re feeling positive if it’s
something important.

2. Gather all the information you need to make the decision, or


recognize that you’ve got all the information you can reasonably get
at this time, and are now ready to make the decision.

3. Identify the options. What are the possible choices?

4. Weigh them up. Do pros and cons. Consider likely outcomes of


each option.

5. The decision has made itself, based on your values and beliefs
and the information you have available.

If you’ve made a decision and you’re confident with it, write it down if
you might need to remember the details of what it was. It might
simply be related to the routines you’re going to develop after reading
this book, or it might be detailed instructions on the best way to
complete a complicated task you have to repeat.

Remember, the idea is to not have to waste time making the same
decisions over and over again, and to feel more confident in the
decisions you have made, so it’s easier to carry them out without
doubting yourself.

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Calendars and diaries

The very first thing I suggest you do for this process of becoming
organized is to make sure you have some kind of calendar or diary in
use. It’s absolutely essential. In case this isn’t obvious to you, here’s
my argument. If you glance at your diary or calendar and there was
nothing there you needed reminding of, you’ve wasted 3 seconds of
your time. If you didn’t look, or didn’t even have one to look at, the
consequences could definitely be worse than 3 wasted seconds.

Calendars and diaries are a great tool. They allow you to plan the
best time to do things, keep track of your commitments, and see what
time you have available. They also allow you to keep records and
notice patterns. For example, making a note of when health
symptoms occur can assist you in identifying triggers.

You may only need one, or you may need several. The more you
have though, the more there are to check and keep updated, and the
more room there is for error. So make sure your diary/calendar set
up is as simple and logical as possible. These are the
considerations:

Do you need to share information with others? Do you have items


you don’t want to share with others? Do you need a separate one for
work or can you combine work and personal items on the same one?
Does it need to be portable? Do you need to be able to see a week
at a time, or a month at a time easily for planning ahead?

If you need portability, you might use a paper diary or appointment


book, so you can make and check your appointments and tasks while
you're out and about. If so, would it be better to have one that's spiral
bound so you can lay it flat, open to the page you want? Consider
the size you need, and whether day to a page or week to an opening
would work better for you. How much room do you need to write? Is
it easy to carry around? They can be pretty expensive, but there are
student diaries available which are very inexpensive, and exactly the
same spiral bound layout as the fancy ones.

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Another option for portability is an electronic diary like the ones on
some mobile phones or a PDA. The disadvantage with these is that
you can usually only view one day at a time, which is not so good for
planning ahead. They do have the advantage of built in alarms and
repeat functions though, and can often be updated by plugging into
your computer if you use a calendar such as the one on Outlook.

If you’re trying to choose between these two options for portability,


the main consideration is whether you are going to use it for forward
planning, or just for checking appointments. If it’s just for checking
whilst you’re out and about, and you have another one at home or
work you use for planning, then using an electronic one can be very
handy. It takes a bit of adjusting to get used to though.

If you use a calendar on your computer, you have the advantage of


repeat functions, alarms, and being able to share some calendar
information with others. This is only a good option though if you are
on your computer every day and always at the times of day you need
to check your calendar. And it’s only good for shared calendars if
those you’re sharing with are also on their computer enough to keep
up with the information.

If you do need to share calendar information with others, such as


your family, often the best option is a wall calendar, hung somewhere
like the kitchen where everyone can see it. It helps everyone plan
well when they can see at a glance what important events are coming
up that will affect everybody.

The best wall calendars are the ones with the biggest possible
spaces to write in, and make sure there's always a pen or pencil
handy. If you’re into stickers, and most kids certainly are, these can
be fun and handy for a family calendar. If you keep a personal one
as well, you’ll need to remember to add what’s needed to the family
calendar on a regular basis.

Our family calendar has reminders for which night the rubbish goes
out, birthdays, school events, doctor’s appointments, social events,
school term dates, play groups and so on. It has the days of the
month going from top to bottom in a vertical linear fashion, with a

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column for each family member. The weekends are in a different
colour so the weeks can be easily identified and the weekends can
be viewed as a whole. I don’t like calendars which start on a Sunday,
splitting up the weekend on opposite sides of the page.

I also need my own calendar, and the older kids have their own
school diaries. Because my computer is on all day, that’s what I use
for my personal calendar. It has more of my personal and business
stuff that’s not relevant to everyone else in the house. It also has
room for more detail that wouldn’t fit on a wall calendar. My mobile
phone has a calendar function, and plugs into my computer for
updates. I think I’m getting the hang of it, but I still have times when I
miss having a paper diary. Is it easier to turn pages or tap little
buttons? The jury’s out.

So, the very first thing for you to do towards being more organized, is
to make sure you have a diary or a calendar in use. If you don’t, go
and get one as soon as possible. If you first need to decide what kind
to use, refer to the section above on decision making.

One more thing. To follow my suggestions in this book, you will need
room to write in quite a few things when planning your week ahead.
If you use a paper diary, you’ll probably need at least 10 lines or so
per day, depending how busy your schedule is. A wall calendar
alone will probably not be enough.

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Chapter 2

Causes of disorganization

The causes of disorganization are really to do with habits of thought.


Understanding and thinking about these issues will really help you on
your way. The things that cause disorganization are:-

• From within. They are not anything outside us. It may seem
like it’s about other people, work, kids, money and outside
things, but it’s not.

• How we are feeling.

• Our self image.

• Indecision.

• Perfectionism. All or nothing mentality.

• Procrastination.

• Guilt.

• Distraction.

• Giving up.

• Inertia, inability to get started.

• Lack of time management.

• Lack of motivation.

Notice I didn’t say laziness. Yes I suppose there are lazy people in
the world, but you’re not one of them. You’re reading this book so

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you’re interested in improving things. It’s not laziness that’s hindering
you, it’s mostly indecision and self-doubt. With the right motivation
and knowledge you can get plenty done, can’t you? So don’t be
down on yourself for whatever aspects of being organized you’ve had
trouble with. You can fix it.

I’m going to talk about the points above now. I hope you’ll read this
and get that nice feeling of realizing you knew this, and it makes
sense to you.

Accepting responsibility

Accepting responsibility for ourselves and our own lives is essential.


This is something many of us struggle to do. The failure to take
responsibility for ourselves will not fail to cause failure. (I considered
re wording that sentence, but it’s too funny and still quite true). Any
attempt to make excuses, blame, or otherwise avoid responsibility for
our situation is a waste of time, and actually hurts us and makes
things harder.

You can’t change other people, and you’ve got to stop wanting to.

Did you get that? It’s not them, it’s you. You don’t have control over
other people and you shouldn’t want to, but you should aspire to have
control over yourself. Of course you can have a positive influence on
others, and the better you are at being the best version of yourself,
the more you will influence others positively.

You can teach others and share information with them, guide them,
show them, but if they’re going to change it will be because they want
to. It’s detrimental to all for your focus to be on how you think others
are hindering you or causing you problems. They’re not, you are.

This can be a very difficult concept to grasp, but if you simply forget
everybody else and concentrate on your own feelings and behaviour,
it will improve how other people around you behave as a natural side
effect. And although you’ll be setting an example for those close to

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you, which will benefit all, you still need to be doing these things for
yourself and no-one else.

Where your motivation comes from is crucial. And it’s no good


complaining about too much work, too little money and so on.
Presumably you want to improve those things in your life, and you
need to get organized to do so.

If you have people in your life who are a negative influence, and your
good example is not helping, you should still focus on your own
behaviour. Whatever is going on with another person is their stuff,
nothing to do with you.

If you take responsibility for yourself, that includes being responsible


for your own happiness. When you do this, you won’t be drawn into
negativity from any outside influence, and you will tend to avoid
situations in which you are exposed to negativity or to ignore it.

If you have children, it’s particularly important that you get this. If you
are blaming them for your situation, you are setting an example for
them that blaming is what you do.

The way to get your kids to behave better and be more organized is
to first set the example yourself. Even then though, setting an
example shouldn’t be your main motivation. Your motivation needs to
be that you are doing things for yourself, to make things easier for
yourself.

It’s your life. You, hopefully, are the one running it and making the
decisions. Looking for things to blame is just avoidance. Be
responsible for yourself, your opinions, your decisions, your actions,
your values, your thoughts and your feelings. Show that you’re proud
of who you are by being responsible for yourself. If you need to
improve your self esteem, this is a good place to start.

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Feelings

Our feelings are always changing (hopefully, if they’re not,


something is wrong) and I mean how we feel right now, in any given
moment. It’s important that we recognize our own feelings as they
change throughout the day. Recognizing them allows us to make
allowances for them, such as not making any important decisions
whilst we’re feeling negative, and not taking ourselves too seriously
when we’re feeling negative.

We’re subjected to negativity from the outside every day, as well as


what’s already within us. It sits in our subconscious and messes
things up for us. Tuning into our feelings and recognizing them is a
very useful thing to get into the habit of doing.

If you recognize that you’re feeling down or angry, you can choose to
just acknowledge it and let it pass, and not act on those feelings.
This simple action can give you valuable insight and glimpses into
things you may not have noticed before. Simply recognizing what
you are feeling is sometimes all it takes to release it and move on up
to feeling better.

It’s not necessary to assign blame for negative feelings. You may
well have very good reason for feeling that way, it may be quite
appropriate, but it’s you that’s feeling it, and it’s your reaction to
something, either internal or external, real or imagined. Just own it,
see it, and don’t get stuck there. Let it pass, and do what you can to
bring yourself back to positive emotions and keep yourself there as
much as possible.

Make your own ‘feel better’ plans. Pleasant surroundings, music,


laughter, anything you can think of. Know what works for you and
have as many resources as possible available to turn to when you
need lifting.

Watching your kids play, flowers, gardens, comedy, books, pictures,


a scented bath, your favourite songs, dancing, walking outdoors,
pets, whatever you can think of that makes you feel good.

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Anything you tend to indulge in which is not good for you, such as
overeating, excessive alcohol and so on, does not count as a ‘feel
better’ strategy. It has to be something that does you good.

Start the day thinking of what you’re grateful for. If you get annoyed
or feel discouraged throughout the day, think of what’s good. I’ve
found this a really good way to turn myself around when something
annoys me.

If I’m sitting stuck in traffic and start feeling grouchy, I remind myself
that I’m lucky to have a car to get around in. When I look at the mess
I have to clean up in the kitchen, I think of how I enjoyed that meal.
I’ve found I can turn just about any annoyance around by thinking of
what I’m grateful for in relation to the annoying thing. It’s not always
easy, but it helps a lot.

If the word ‘grateful’ doesn’t work for you, find what does. It’s not
what you call it that matters, it’s the idea behind it. What are you glad
about, what gives you pleasure, what do you feel good about, what
do you feel proud of, what are you pleased about, what do you see
that is good.

Now I can be quite cynical, and I tend to scoff at cutesy sayings and
so on. So if I can do this, anyone can. It really does work. It just
puts you in a better frame of mind, calms you down, and makes you
behave better.

There’s nothing mystical or magical about it. There’s very common


sense, practical reasons why this strategy is beneficial. It puts you in
control of your own thoughts, your own attitude to life, and your own
feelings. And when your feelings, mindset, attitude and thoughts are
working well, your life goes better, because you think more clearly
and make better choices.

Another good strategy is to take pleasure absolutely everywhere you


can, and when something does bring a smile to your face, milk it for
all it’s worth, really get into the positive feeling.

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Notice things. Sitting in traffic or standing at the kitchen sink, notice
the sky, or the breeze, or anything pleasant you can smell. If you are
warm or cool and comfortable, notice that fully. If you have a stretch,
really enjoy it. When you eat your meals, enjoy every mouthful.

When something makes you laugh, don’t cut it short, revel in it. Like
attracts like, and these kinds of strategies help steer you towards
feeling positive more of the time. Give it a go.

Our feelings, if we’re functioning as we should, are mobile and


changeable, and appropriate. We should normally be pretty content
and interested in things, sometimes feeling inspired, delighted,
excited, and other times bored, annoyed, angry, sad, or even
devastated.

There are stressful events that throw us off course temporarily: minor
ones, such as someone being rude to us, spilling a drink, breaking
something, being embarrassed; and major ones such as a death or
illness in the family, losing a job, getting robbed or burgled, having a
car accident, relationship break up, moving house and so on.

Getting chronically stuck in negative emotions will make you sick and
hurt others around you, and needs help to change. For example,
profound grief, depression, chronic anger. Seeking help when you
need it is the right thing to do, especially if you are responsible for
others.

You can’t rely on others to recognize your need and respond to it, you
need to have the guts and the good sense to reach out and ask. But
beware of people who’s own chronic negative emotions make them
habitual ‘sympathy givers’ or complainers who will just keep you
feeling low. Misery may love company, but it sure doesn’t need it. If
you seek help you need it from people who are emotionally strong,
vibrant, positive and happy.

Negative emotions experienced as a normal part of life just need to


be acknowledged to yourself, and allowed to be felt fully so that they
can pass. Acknowledge and accept what’s happened, and choose to

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learn from it, let it make you stronger, and be ready to move on to
more positive feelings.

When you sense something is wrong, that you’re not really happy,
just try to tune in to what you’re feeling and recognize what it is.
Don’t judge it, just see what it is. Know that it is your feeling and you
are feeling it, and it will pass.

Now, while you’re feeling any negative emotion, this is not the time to
make decisions. Make your decisions when you’re in a good frame of
mind. While you’re feeling negative emotions is the time to just get
on with the basics of your routine, (which I’ll be talking about soon),
the bare necessities, and anything that you are sure will do you good,
or at least not do you any harm. And do try to do what you can to lift
yourself up whenever possible.

Self image

A negative self image contributes to disorganization, and of course


being in a mess makes us feel negatively about ourselves. It’s a
cycle that has to be broken, over and over again if necessary. It can
be changed.

Bad habits can be eliminated by replacing them with good ones, and
that includes habits of how we think. Be responsible for your own self
esteem. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters, and it
really needs to be a good one.

Your feelings about yourself will affect how you behave. You might
think your self esteem is fine, and perhaps mostly it is, but if you’re
disorganized, something is making you make things harder for
yourself, and you need to turn your attention there.

If you feel you are disorganized and need to change things, it’s
possible you have gotten yourself into this state as a form of self-
sabotage. (Or you’ve just had a baby or another massive life event,
don’t worry, I know.)

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Try to catch yourself out if there’s any negative self-talk going on
about you being disorganized, in a mess, all over the place, hopeless,
done it again, just can’t do it, that kind of thing. Sometimes you might
hear actual words or phrases in your mind, other times it might be
harder to pick up because it’s just more of a feeling.

Whenever you recognize it, turn it around. I’m making better choices,
I’m very capable, I’m organized, everything is OK, I can do this, it’s
getting better, it’s getting easier, that kind of thing, whatever you
respond to best. You need to believe in yourself and see yourself as
organized, as capable, as worthy of your own good care and
attention.

As you gradually start to make changes towards becoming organized,


recognize that you’re doing these little things to be kind to yourself.
There’s nobody you need to rebel against, you don’t need to deny
yourself because you’re not worthy, it’s not true that you’re not
capable. There’s nobody you need to impress, prove anything to or
appease either. Forget all that. You don’t need to make things
harder for yourself. It’s you you’re doing these things for. You
deserve to treat yourself well, and being organized is a sign of self-
respect.

Indecision

This one is huge. The one thing that will stop you getting on with
things more than anything else is this. Seriously, next time you find
yourself not doing something, think about it, and see if you can spot
the indecision behind the problem.

Think about how successful businesses manage their staff. How do


they get things to run smoothly? They remove as much need for the
staff to make decisions as possible, they decide the best way to do
something and have all their staff do it that way, exactly. Not thinking
up a new way for themselves each time. Would you like fries with
that? Take away (accidental and intentionally left in pun there) the
decision making and everyone can just get on with it.

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Failing to make a decision is a very common reason for things being
allowed to slide, and for things becoming disorganized. Putting off or
avoiding making decisions is a bad habit we get into, because for
some reason we think it will be too difficult. We doubt our own ability
to make simple little 2 second decisions like where to put down an
object we’re holding, to larger decisions like how long we should
spend on a particular activity or task. Instead we just passively let
things happen.

Breaking the habit of avoiding making decisions can easily be done,


sometimes just be applying our concentration to the issue at hand for
a few seconds. That’s often all it takes. The more often you are able
to do this, the easier it will become, because it’s easy to see then that
it’s not so scary, and really does make things better.

Another reason for a tendency to avoid making decisions is that we


think we won’t be blamed for the outcome of something if it wasn’t our
conscious choice. We might also worry that we’re setting ourselves
up to fail. These thoughts tend to be on an unconscious level; we’re
not even aware of them. If you think about it though, you may well
recognize the feeling associated with it. These things are all about
confidence, and it’s a habitual way of thinking which can be changed.

Then there’s the tendency to doubt our own decisions once they’ve
been made, or forgetting them. This is destructive self sabotage, and
very common. You’ve felt guilty about it, worried about it, made the
decision to do something, written it down, thought about it, weighed
up the pros and cons, brainstormed possible choices, planned it out,
and so on, and it still doesn’t get done.

Why? Because you keep second guessing yourself and doubting


your own decisions. Perhaps it could be done differently, better, at a
different time. Perhaps you were wrong, perhaps you’re not good
enough to decide and you should let somebody else decide for you,
perhaps you should do some more research into it, perhaps you
should try out some different ways, and so on.

Cut it out and trust your own judgement. Believe in your own
decisions.

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How can reassure yourself that you’ve made a good decision? See
the section in chapter 1 about decision making.

Decisions have to be made, thousands of them, on an ongoing basis,


and they have to be made to the best of your ability with the
information you have available to you at the time.

But you don’t have to make the same ones over and over again, and
you don’t have to constantly doubt the ones you have already made.

I heard on a motivational tape years ago, that successful people


make decisions quickly, and change them slowly. To me, that means
once you put all the relevant information in front of you, a lot of
decisions make themselves; the best possible course of action or way
of doing something is clear, so decision making can be done quickly if
you’re doing it right. Quickly might mean moments, hours or days.
You might need to gather information first and weigh up the
possibilities, or it might mean taking just a few seconds to think about
something before you act.

And the changing them slowly part means don’t be in a hurry to


change decisions once they’re made. You only do it when there’s
changed circumstances or new information that make it very clear
there’s now a better way, and give it very careful consideration before
changing what was working before. Don’t fix it if it’s not broken.

Indecision can be just annoying, but it can also be disastrous. Think


of a doctor in a hospital casualty centre, dealing with life and death
decisions constantly.

When a moment comes when you’re feeling indecisive, ask yourself,


does a decision need to be made here, or have I already made one
that’s still valid. I hope by the time you’ve tried my suggestions in this
book, you’ll find a lot more of the time you will answer with the second
statement.

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Perfectionism and ‘all or nothing’ mentality

Having high standards is one thing, but perfectionism can cause us


to lose sight of what’s important and get distracted from what really
needs doing. It can cause us to not do something at all because we
don’t feel we can do it to a high enough standard, that our efforts
won’t be good enough, that there’s no point doing something unless
we can do it perfectly. The truth is, perfection is subjective, and this
kind of thinking means it’s also unattainable, because however well
you did something you’d still think it wasn’t good enough.

You can’t do something perfectly if you don’t even attempt it, and it’s
usually better to do something imperfectly, even badly, than not at all.
“A job worth doing is worth doing well” is not always a helpful
statement. Let that one go, we don’t need it.

Sometimes you might feel that doing something perfectly would cheer
you up, because you’d get pleasure out of seeing the end result of
this perfect accomplishment rather than an ordinary mundane version
of it. This doesn’t work in the long run though. It will just hold you up
and keep you stuck, and in the end it’s an excuse.

It leads to things being left unfinished or not even begun, and can
mean hours of effort wasted on something that just wasn’t worth it.
There’s nothing wrong with doing a good job, but it’s often much more
important just to do the thing at all, and not to spend so long on some
things that you neglect other important things.

Perfectionism is tied in with fear. Fear of not being good enough, and
fear of failure. (Maybe even fear of success!) TV and marketing and
the media give us idealized images. We’re so easily sucked into
thinking we have to measure up, because the marketers have
learned how to push our buttons to make us buy. It’s only ever
yourself you need to please.

If you like yourself and feel good, and get rid of that fear of not being
good enough (through habits of mind, recognizing negative thoughts
and replacing them with good ones), you’ll no longer feel you have to

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be perfect or conform to an unrealistic, idealized image to be ‘good
enough’.

Perfectionism can burn you out. Overdoing things whilst striving for
perfection is bad management of our energy. We are our own most
important resource, and we’re no good to ourselves if we’re
exhausted and worn out. I think when you try to do things too
perfectly, somewhere inside you really know you’ve wasted time on it,
and it niggles at you. Who are you trying to appease anyway?
Who’s going to judge you? Are you going to live your life worrying
about what other people think?

If there’s nobody but you to tell you when something is finished for
now, you need to set your own limits and let things just be done. So
many things will need to be done again soon anyway, and you have
other things in your life to do too.

Some things can never be finished. You need to identify and decide
when it’s done well enough, or when you’ve spent sufficient time on it,
and get on with the next thing. Doing something perfectly is no good
to you if the cost is neglecting other important things, or not getting
any benefit from the thing you’re trying to do perfectly. If there really
is more to be done, it can be scheduled in behind things which are
more important.

Perfectionism can also be a way of avoiding other things. Some


people clean excessively for this reason, (although there are other
reasons why people might do this). Sometimes we just want to keep
on with something that seems to be going well because we like the
feeling of succeeding, and don’t know when to say it’s enough. We
think we’re better off continuing to do something we’re able to do,
rather than something we might fail at or find difficult or be bad at.
But some of those other things are good for us, even though they’re
not as easy at first.

Perfectionism is associated with an all or nothing attitude towards


things. You see some crumbs on the floor, and it would just take a
minute to sweep them up with the dustpan and brush, but instead you
think of the entire floor in the whole house, and how there’s probably

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dust in the corners and under the couch, and the kitchen needs
mopping and so on, and the whole thing seems too hard so you do
nothing.

You see an obvious weed in the garden bed as you walk past it, and
instead of just grabbing it out while you’re there, you tell yourself off
for not having detailed the entire garden bed and fertilized and
mulched it. So the weeds just build up, and you feel more
overwhelmed by the size of the task.

You find a spelling error in your writing, and start worrying about the
grammatical structure of the whole thing, and thinking you’ll never
have enough time to fix it all. (Well, they’re the things that come to
mind for me at the moment.)

So replace those thoughts of telling yourself off, exaggerating, getting


carried away and so on with thoughts like, ‘I’ll just do that right now
while I think of it, it will only take a sec’, I can do that, that’s
something I can do right now without holding myself up at all…” Tell
yourself you’re a sensible person, who can see things realistically,
prioritize, and do what really matters.

Procrastination

We procrastinate for all sorts of reasons. Because we’re not sure


how to do the thing, whether we should really do the thing (indecision,
self-doubt), because we don’t think we’ll enjoy it, it’s no fun, it will take
too long, it’s too difficult, it’s too boring, we’re not capable of doing it,
we won’t do it well enough and so on.

It’s easy to use our logic to tell ourselves we’ve already made the
decision to do this thing, and that the benefits of doing it will outweigh
the unpleasantness of doing it. And that is absolutely what I suggest
you do. But we’re creatures of habit, and procrastination is a self
perpetuating habit.

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We say to ourselves, that if we’re really so resistant to doing this
thing, maybe the decision to do it wasn’t correct in the first place.
Maybe the unpleasantness of doing it is not outweighed by the
benefits.

This comes right back to our decision making. If you did your
decision making to the best of your ability, you need to just trust
yourself now. Trust your own good judgement and stop doubting
yourself. You thought this through already, so this doubt you’re
having now is just not necessary. Sticking to your decisions first
requires that you recognize that you made them. Just remember
your decision, and that can eliminate a lot of procrastination. Sticking
to your decisions does require self-discipline, and this is a habit which
can be learned.

When procrastination is about indecision, think about how big the


decision is and whether it will take long to make it. Is it just about
opening your mail and will only take a few minutes, or do you need to
allocate some time to really think about something, like whether
you’re really going to have that garage sale or whether it would be
more sensible to make a trip to the charity shop and hire a skip
(dumpster)? Is it really necessary or helpful to you to put it off? Yes,
it might feel unpleasant to do the thing, but how does that compare
with the feeling you’ll have after you have either done it or not done it.

The dislike of doing certain tasks that seem like drudgery can actually
change into enjoyment when you’ve got a habit of doing it and started
enjoying the benefits. Don’t believe me? I wouldn’t have believed it
either, but I’ve experienced it myself. If you try it, you’ll see.

When you enjoy the results of something you’ve done, and you
remember those results the next time you do the task, you can
actually feel the good feelings associated with the results while you’re
doing it, and take pleasure and enjoy the task that you used to put off.
It makes perfect sense too, because as well as the pleasure of
knowing you’re going to enjoy the results, you also have the pleasure
of feeling good about yourself, because you’re demonstrating
confidence in your own choices and decisions.

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When you’ve made decisions about a lot of the basic, day to day
things in your life, often all it will take to avoid procrastination is to
remind yourself of your decision, your new habit, your new way.

Guilt

Feeling guilty about having procrastinated, about having failed in the


past – past years or past minutes – puts us in a lousy frame of mind
and further hinders us in getting anything done. It can lead us to try
to blame circumstances or other people in an effort to get rid of this
unpleasant feeling. It does lead to general negative feelings about
ourselves.

Worrying about what we’ve done wrong doesn’t help, we need to


quickly recognize it and move on with what we need to be doing. You
might be laying guilt trips on yourself, or you may be attracting and
accepting them from outside as well. Is it helping you? Certainly not.
It’s a negative emotion.

Chase it away, replace it, distract yourself, get on with something that
will make you feel better. Guilt just holds you back. It won’t motivate
you. It won’t make you see sense. And if others are laying it on you,
ask yourself why you’re attracting that kind of attitude from people.
No, don’t feel guilty about attracting guilt trips either! I know it has
it’s place, we all need to have a conscience, to recognize when we
may have hurt someone by action or inaction. But lingering with this
feeling too much is a sign that something needs to change.

Anyone with children will know that struggling against guilt can be a
real challenge sometimes. (I’m getting so sick of hearing the word
challenge, as a PC and positive alternative to “hard” or “difficult”, but
I’m yet to think of a suitable alternative). It’s so hard to feel we’ve
done everything right, done enough for them and so on.

You’ve got to just work on your decision making, be confident in your


choices, act on them confidently; and then knowing you’re doing the

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best you can, guilt proof yourself. Remove the words “I’m sorry” from
your vocabulary. They’re often just not appropriate.

If you’ve stood on somebody’s toe or something, sure, say you’re


sorry. But don’t be apologising for your own existence or accepting
responsibility for other people’s feelings or lives. You can comfort a
child, or anyone in your life for that matter; cuddle them, listen to their
problems, help them if you can and so on, but don’t assume it’s
always all your fault.

This is important for their emotional health as well as your own.


You’re setting an example, and you don’t want to be setting an
example of a doormat parent who disapproves of themselves. All you
have to do to be guilt proof, to begin with, is to be confident in your
choices, your actions and your decisions. If you’ve thought them
through and carried them out to the best of your ability, what have
you got to feel guilty about?

Distraction

Distraction happens when we find something difficult or boring, or


we’re not committed to it. If you have children, have you ever asked
them to clean their room, thinking it should take them about 10
minutes? Then you go to check on them 45 minutes later and find
the dirty clothes and apple cores are still all over the floor, and all the
drawers have been emptied out on the bed and the underpants are
folded very carefully, then quite clearly they’ve lost interest and
started on something else, and emptied all the coloured pencils out
on the floor and are putting them back in the tin in order of colour?

Grownups are just as easily distracted sometimes. The reason


you’re so easily distracted is because of resistance to the original
task, or being unsure about how to do it, inexperienced at doing it, or
trying to spend too long on one thing at a time. And in the example
I’ve given here, there’s also perfectionism involved. The child I’m
talking about here is not just one of my own kids, it’s me. I’ve learned
to overcome these things to a large extent, but my daughter is still a

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dreamy thing who will start making a fairy house before she’s finished
putting her clean socks away in the drawer.

Yes, many people think it’s a sign of a creative personality, or caused


by food additives or ADD or ADHD or super intelligence or whatever.
But I believe anyone can learn to have some structure and routine in
their lives, and to learn new habits. If you have difficult areas where
there’s a high boredom factor or short attention span, you just have to
base your decisions on how to tackle those tasks with that
information in mind. Take it all into account.

I’ve seen it suggested that we should just outsource any tasks we’re
not good at or don’t enjoy, to keep ourselves free to spend time on
what we’re naturally more talented at. This is certainly a good idea
for some things, but I don’t think outsourcing all jobs is the answer. I
want my kids to know how to fend for themselves, and even when I
can afford staff to help me with my tasks, I want to have the capability
of doing them myself as well. I don’t want to feel such a victim to
distraction and inability to concentrate as if it’s just totally out of my
hands.

Being distracted and having a short concentration span is a particular


issue for me with learning new skills sometimes. For example
learning a piece of computer software, learning to play the piano,
reading some study material that’s very dry but has information you
really want. The solution if it’s something you really want to achieve
is shorter sessions, repeated often, with as much positive association
as you can attach. It can be done. You just quit beating yourself up
over every time you get distracted. You just accept it, allow for it, and
plan around it.

I have found recently that when I had to really tackle learning a new
skill, I was so resistant to it that I had a concentration span of about
30 seconds. I managed to complete the tutorial and learn what I
needed to, but had to do it 30 seconds at a time, then keep
recognizing that I had stopped and was looking for distractions, and
go right back to it for another 30 seconds or so. I was so thrilled to
have completed the task, and when I had to go to the next chapter, I

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still had the same resistance, but my concentration span was now
several minutes at a time.

Giving up

Giving up happens because of lack of confidence in our ability to


follow the thing through, and reacting negatively to failures and
setbacks. We may never have really believed we could do it, or
committed to it properly in the first place.

We need to be prepared to fail over and over again, and keep trying.
Every time we fail at something we can choose to see it as a learning
experience and use the experience to help us in our next attempt. If
you really want something, you’ve just got to keep trying.

Sometimes we give up because we don’t feel worthy of the result we


were going for, or we’ve been influenced by negativity from others or
from the media.

If you didn’t achieve something you wanted to do, there’s no point


giving yourself an endless hard time about it. If it was worth doing in
the first place, just have another go, only smarter this time. And be
prepared to fail again and try again.

If you have a willingness to accept failure and learn from it, you won’t
be someone who gives up. Being willing to accept failure is not the
same thing as expecting it though. Expect failure and that’s what
you’ll get.

Inertia, inability to get started

Overcoming the resistance to getting started on something can be a


lot easier than it seems. Just reminding yourself that you’ve decided
to do this, and committing to just do one small part of it, just start, just
for now, just this once, can get you past the inertia.

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You may have to repeat it many times, but the habit of avoidance can
be broken. Often once you’ve just made that first small step towards
something, it’s surprising how much easier it becomes.

If it’s something that’s plainly staring you in the face, like tidying up,
commit yourself to 30 seconds spent on the task, that is, pick up one
thing, and put it away. Yes, you might still have to do that unpleasant
thing where you have to think where it goes or decide where to put it,
but it’s only one thing, and you’ll survive. What usually happens is
you find it didn’t hurt so much, and you manage to at least put away a
couple more things.

If a task seems too big or daunting, it probably needs breaking down


into smaller parts and those parts defining very specifically. I find
often the most difficult thing about getting started on a big task is
actually identifying what needs to be done. A big notepad and a pen
or pencil are all you need to sit down and think it through properly.

You might find you need more information or there are more parts to
the task than you thought, and once you’ve worked out the details, it
seems a lot easier to take the first step. There’s more discussion
about breaking down big tasks or projects in chapter 8 in the section
about goals. They need breaking into smaller tasks which can have
blocks of time allocated to them.

When you have a task ahead of you which is a smaller part of a


bigger goal or project, and you’re still having trouble getting started
on it, think of just the section of it you want to do now, not the whole
thing. Thinking of the whole project can make you feel overwhelmed,
but narrowing you focus to just the small part you want to get done in
this block of time, will make it easier to get started.

Or perhaps you’re really worried about where the task will lead if you
get started. Will it commit you to something you’re not sure about?
Are you worried you won’t be able to finish it? That you’ll waste time
or money or make a mess or get it wrong? Again, sit down and think
it through, and let the real obstacles present themselves.

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Time management, getting the balance right

Don’t let the words ‘time management’ freak you out and send you
off looking for the chocolate biscuits. Used in a corporate setting
these words make me want to either doze off or run away as fast as
possible, but we can apply the concept to our personal lives and even
to our work lives to great benefit. Just keep it simple.

Time is what our life is made of. Yes I’ve heard it can be bent and
that it’s not the way we think it is, and I’m very interested in all that
quantum physics stuff, but for the moment we still have to live with
time. We never know how much of it we have left and we don’t want
to spend it worrying and regretting and stressing out. We want to get
good value out of it.

Enjoying the journey rather than looking forward to the destination is


the way to go, because the destination, when you think about it, is the
end of our life (as we know it, at least). It’s good to have goals, in fact
I think it’s essential. But we want to be living in the present moment
and enjoying it, not dwelling on the past or the future excessively.

One of the things about time which is worth consideration is how


much money per hour yours is worth at the moment. Think about
your after tax income and how many hours it takes you to earn it.
That’s what you sell your time for. Keep this figure in mind as you
make decisions about your working life, what you spend your money
on, and what things you may deny yourself or do to try to save
money. Time is like money in that it’s valuable and needs to be
budgeted, allocated, used sensibly and in a balanced way.

You don’t want to have your time so rigidly and fully allocated that
you feel trapped by your schedule with no free time just to relax or to
be spontaneous. But you have a lot of different things going on in
your life, and you need to have some level of awareness of what
proportion of your time each activity is taking up.

Being aware of the amount of time you spend on the various activities
that make up your life helps you recognize any imbalances and allow

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for all the things that matter to you and all the things you need to do
to keep things functioning well. It allows you to see where you’re
wasting time, see what you’re missing out on, see what you’re
avoiding, and get it back in balance.

Being organized stops you from wasting time. It’s about getting
essential but boring things to happen with as little effort as possible.
Having an organized routine for doing the mundane stuff minimizes
the time it needs to take.

Prioritizing and balance are the keys to managing your time. Have a
think about how you are currently spending your time. Surfing the
net, email, the phone, and TV are big time users. I’m not saying you
shouldn’t spend time on these things, but do have a think about
where they come in your priorities.

A bit of TV watching is a lot more relaxing when you feel good about
what you’ve got done before you sat down. Emails are very
distracting and you can spend literally hours on them when you
actually sat down at your desk with a more important purpose in
mind. Spending very long hours working doesn’t necessarily mean
you get more done. We’re much more efficient and productive when
our time is well balanced. Put limits on things that need them.

Some things in your life are more important than others. Some things
are more difficult. Some things are more fun, others more boring.
But for your life to be the way you want it to be, it needs to include all
the things that matter to you, your survival and your happiness.

So that's making a living, feeding yourself and your family, looking


after your kids, paying your bills, family time, couple time, keeping
your house clean and tidy, doing your washing/laundry, having a
social life, time for your health, time for your own personal and
spiritual development, time to do something fun just for yourself.

Firstly, the things you’re avoiding, when you look at them properly,
probably don’t take as much time as you imagine. You can become
so entrenched in avoiding things, whether it’s sorting out your
cupboards or your paperwork, doing the washing and the dishes, or

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having that regular exercise, that you exaggerate in your own mind
how much time these things would take. Not doing them doesn’t
save you time, it costs you time.

Secondly, there are things you spend too long on. They might be
things like watching TV, or they might be things you would consider
work. Spending too long on something diminishes the quality of it,
therefore wasting your time. You just become less productive and
effective when you spend too long on one thing, particularly if it’s at
the expense of other important things. Or if it’s a leisure activity, you
get less enjoyment out of it if you spend too long at it.

We tend to stick with things that are familiar and comfortable to the
detriment of other things which are important. We also tend to stay in
a ‘work mode’, being ‘at work’ or ‘working’, but not getting much done.
The reasons we get stuck doing one thing are reluctance or inertia
related to the next activity, or the sense that what we’re doing isn’t
‘finished’ yet. The reasons we become less productive if we spend
too long on something are boredom, tiredness, and the distraction
caused by our awareness of what other things are now being
neglected.

Forgetting how much time you’ve allocated to something and


spending too long on it, can put you off doing it again. It’s easy to
think that you may as well keep up with the activity while you’re ‘on a
roll’, but this is not always a good idea. You lose energy, get bored
with it, and neglect other things.

Spending too long on something that needs to be done again soon


anyway, like household chores, discourages you from doing them
again at the next allocated time. Trying to get too much of a big
project done in one session burns you out and it will take longer in the
end. (It looks like I’ve typed ‘bums’ you out, which would work too,
but it actually says ‘burns’ you out.)

A better awareness of the amount of time we want to spend on an


activity helps us stay focussed on what we set out to achieve.
Time boxing is a term which came from software development, but

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can be applied to anything you like. It’s about allocating appropriate
blocks of time to each area of activity, and just doing as much as you
can within that time.

As an example of what I'm talking about, today I need to work on this


book, and I’m conscious of the deadline I’ve set myself for finishing it,
but I also have to do washing, drive my kids to ballet lessons, cook
dinner, spend time with the family and relax myself, and many other
little things. If I get carried away with the writing, other things will
slide, I’ll get cranky, the kids will get cranky, I won’t be concentrating
very well after a while, and I’ll be depressed by the mess, the rushing,
the complaining and so on that follows from not attending to other
things. I might also get fatigued if I go too long without a change of
activity, and be put off getting started on it again at the next available
opportunity.

So I have allocated a timeframe to spend working at writing and


nothing else. I won’t finish, but I will have done a good chunk of solid
work, and I won’t be stressed about it because I know I have time for
everything else. If I spent much longer on it, I might not get much
more done than I will accomplish in the time I’ve allocated. I would
tend to stop and start, worry, doubt myself, and get distracted.

The same goes for housework. I have a tendency to be a


perfectionist, which can lead to tasks never being finished. If I clean
the floor, I could spend literally hours on it. I’d then be upset by all
the little crumbs and spills that will happen before I’ve even finished.
So I put a time limit on it, and just clean for that amount of time and
then stop.

This can be very hard to do, but the big difference is, because it didn’t
take all day, I feel better about coming back to it at the next allocated
time, and a regular habit develops. When you spend too long on one
activity, not only do you neglect other things that need to be done that
day, but you get ‘burnout’, and are less inclined to do that activity
again because in your mind it ‘takes too long’ and you don’t have
time.

The quality of the activity is better too when I have a time limit on it. I

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tend to be more productive and focused knowing I need to do as
much as I can within that time.

Best of all, it helps me feel better. Better about what I’m doing, better
about the balance of my time, and better because I’m more focused
and confident that I know what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I feel
better about my decisions about how I spend my time, because I
know I have given it due consideration and have actually made
specific decisions about how to spend my time rather than just letting
things happen.

The structure of the practical chapters of this book is based on time


management, in the simplest possible form. You don’t have to submit
a report to the area manager to inform the department that your
project is 27% completed. You’re just going to identify all the areas of
your life that need time allocated to them, with the help of examples,
and use that information to create a basic framework structure for
yourself that will keep your life organized.

Motivation

Motivation is a funny thing. If we know we’ve got visitors coming


over we’re a lot more motivated to tidy up our home and ourselves.
We’re more motivated to dress nicely if we have a special meeting or
social event. We’re motivated to do things that are fun or easy or
instantly gratifying. We’re motivated by negative consequences like
being judged or losing face.

Do we really want to be motivated only negatively, unconsciously or


passively? Who wants to be swaying in the wind like that, not in
control of their own motivation? Do you think that’s going to get you
what you want? We can do so much better than that.

So what’s the best possible motivation to do something?

The best possible motivation for anything, in fact arguably the only
valid motivation, is a conscious recognition that it is in your best

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interests. Along with this recognition should be the confident
knowledge that it is also for the greater good. These two things
working together means your head is in the right place, and you’re on
the right track. I know that’s all a bit deep, but to really get to the
heart of motivation, that’s what I believe matters.

When you consciously make decisions which are in your best


interests, decisions worth believing in, you’ve got the basis for the
only kind of motivation that will really stick.

Does it sound too simple? Well, I honestly believe that’s where


motivation is to be found; conscious, positive, strong and useful
motivation, in the conscious recognition that something is in your best
interests.

Think it over, and I bet you’ll find you already know that.

And the part about it being also for the greater good? Well, if
something is good for you and bad for the world, is it really good for
you? On the other hand, if something is good for the world and bad
for you, is it really good for the world? This is like nature’s checking
system for making decisions.

To be more specific, taking steps towards better organization is going


to make you feel better, and also benefit those you share your life
with, both because of the organization, and because of you feeling
better.

So if you get your dishes done today, do a load of washing, deal with
your mail, and spend 10 minutes finding stuff in your jumbled
cupboard you can get rid of, you know it’s worthwhile, good for you,
good for the world, and you can feel good about doing it. How will
you feel when you’ve done those things, even while you’re doing
those things, compared with the nagging scratchy gnawing feeling
you’ll have if you don’t?

When things happen that make you want to give up, that bring you
down, and seem to suck the motivation out of you, you have a choice
to make.

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Will you let yourself sway in the wind and be at the mercy of whatever
happens, or will you stay in charge of your own choices, decisions,
feelings and actions?

Having an annoyance or obstacle occur, and making the decision to


stay responsible for yourself and not let it take control of your
motivation, is an extremely powerful thing to do, even over little
things. Try applying it to one little thing in your life today and see how
it makes you feel.

A lot of things that are really fun don’t start off that way. We have to
learn a skill first, and that requires work. But once we’ve learned to
swim or ride a bike or play an instrument or read and write, there’s a
lot of enjoyment to be had from those things, way more than
something fun that’s easy and requires no effort; and the ability to do
something that is of value to others, which is a pleasure in itself.

Is motivation really out of our control? I often feel that way, but I have
to keep telling myself that it’s not true.

You can control your own motivation, and all it takes is increasing
your level of interest and awareness in what affects it. If you care
about improving your motivation, you can. And I’m not talking about
listening to some ra ra motivational hype.

Motivation is not going to come from outside of you. Not the right
kind anyway. Nobody can give it to you. Sure, when you’re exposed
to people who are very positive and inspiring, you will feel a
temporary lift. And certainly being around people who are positive
and inspiring will do you good. But it won’t last unless you learn how
to create it yourself, the right way.

Nurturing the positive in ourselves will help with our motivation, and is
a spiritual pursuit. When we see the real value of something and
learn to put the required effort into directing our thinking, we find the
motivation we need. It gets progressively easier.

We need to question our subconscious motivations and use our


conscious thinking to belt that subconscious into working for us rather

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than against us. When the subconscious accepts what you’ve told it
and forced into it through habit and repetition, “this is how it is now”, it
will start to motivate you where you want it to. You’re in control.

In summary

As you’ve probably noticed, these things discussed above are inter-


related, all working together. The good news is that making
improvements in any of these areas will improve the others as well,
lifting us up to where we want and need to be.

You’ve probably tried a lot of things before in an attempt to get


organized but things slid back again because you unwittingly made it
hard for yourself. And these things discussed above are the reasons
why. Get a handle on them. Go back and read that section again
later, and whenever you need to remind yourself what’s going on.

I’ve talked a lot about your mindset because that’s really the most
important thing in trying to achieve what you want in your life. Being
organized is what you want simply because it will make things easier
and more pleasant for you, so let it.

Whatever type of system you use, whatever tools you use to help
you, it needs to be simple, needs to work, and you need to just stick
to it. There does actually need to be a system though; a bunch of
quotes and acronyms won’t do anything.

There is no magic set of forms or lists, no magic gadget that will solve
the problem of disorganization. Buzzwords and catchphrases can
just be a form of clutter. For me they often don’t serve to remind me
of an idea, they just annoy me. When I’m trying to solve a problem I
want the whole thing spelled out in detail, and that’s what I’m aiming
to do here.

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So, this is the approach I’m recommending:

- Get a handle on your feelings.


- Accept responsibility.
- Make some decisions.
- Get into some simple routines which will become habitual,
automatic and easy.
- Learn how to balance your time.

Shortly I’ll be taking you through 5 steps to becoming organized. You


may find you already do a lot of the things I’m talking about, and you
just need to work on a few areas, or you might need a total overhaul.
It doesn’t all have to be done at once, and it doesn’t ever have to be
finished. Work through the whole 5 steps, or just pick one thing to
start with. The guts of what I’ll be suggesting, is about establishing
routines and habits, letting go of what you don’t need, and making
sure your time is well balanced.

Getting organized is not a job to be done; it’s a way to learn to be.

If you’re really struggling

If you’re having a tough time emotionally, or physically, or because


you’re over-stretched, as well as seeking help if you need it, it’s good
to develop your own coping strategies. If necessary, break it down
further than one day at a time, to one hour at a time.

You can talk yourself through just one thing, just whatever it is you
have to cope with right now, and you should talk to yourself kindly, as
if you were nursing or nurturing yourself through an illness, being
encouraging and positive and gentle.

During those difficult times, you’re in survival mode, just getting by,
just doing the basics, the bare minimum. You’ve got to keep going,
but you’re only doing what you must to survive. We all have different
things that must be done, but they come down to essentially the
same things, staying alive and staying safe. You just need to get

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through this bit without doing any damage, and your circumstances
will dictate what your essentials are.

Your absolute bare minimum standard will be something like this:

-feeding yourself and your family


-getting through any essential commitments for the day
-paying bills
-doing the washing and the dishes
-getting enough rest

Whatever these absolute essentials are for you, these are the first
things you should establish in your daily routine, and the ones you
must never let go of. My point here is that the more you’re struggling
or having a hard time, the more you need the basics done, because if
the very basic things are let go, it just makes things even harder for
you and brings you down.

If you’re depressed, recovering from an injury, unwell or have a new


baby in the house, that’s when you need to think bare basics. This is
not the time to let the bare basics go, but do accept any help offered
or ask for it if you can. At these times it’s even more important that
you get the essentials done, but you have to be very realistic about
how much you expect of yourself.

If you have a baby, getting as much sleep as you can and staying
sane take priority, and it just might be a long time until cleaning out
the garage has any business being on your schedule. Sleeping takes
priority over everything but very basic cleanliness essential to eating.

So, what are your bare minimum things to do, the stuff that really
mustn’t be let go?

A lot of the things I’ll discuss here relate to someone who’s caring for
a home and children, but don’t worry if that doesn’t apply to you. Just
change it to suit your situation and take the ideas and apply them to
your circumstances.

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For me, the thing I’ve always told myself if I was struggling was keep
up with the dishes and the washing. If the dishes and the washing
are done, I don’t feel out of control.

If you’re a student, study is like a pile of dishes or laundry. If you


don’t keep on top of it, things can really stuff up. I recommend all
students put study as an essential part of their basic daily routine.

Anyway, whatever the essentials are, this is where to start building


your routines.

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Chapter 3

Step 1: Establish basic daily routines

The routines are going to be written down. They are your routines,
so you will put in what you need to put in, but some things are not
negotiable, and need to be done even if you’re in survival mode. In
fact, as I mentioned above, if you’re struggling to get by, it’s even
more important that you take care of the basics to look after yourself
properly.

And if you have these very basic things running like clockwork, you’ll
find it much easier to keep them up whatever happens, making you
generally stronger and better able to cope. Little daily actions of
looking after yourself will help lift you up.

So where are you going to record your routines? You could write
them on your computer, and print them out if you need to (if your
computer isn’t on all the time), or you might prefer writing with pen
and paper. Set it up however is most suitable for you, but don’t get
all bogged down in creating the perfect set up. It just needs to be
easy for you to read and refer to, and you’ll need access to it to refer
to daily at different times of the day. A good place to keep your
written routines might be with your diary or calendar. You won’t need
to refer to it forever, because when it becomes habitual you’ll know it
automatically.

I’m going to give you some example routines, and after each one I’ll
go through my reasoning about why you should do these things,
mostly in this order, always, and some hints about getting yourself to
do them. That’s because I know how easy it is to make up lots of
excuses why they don’t need to be done, aren’t worth doing, can’t be
done and so on.

Think about the reasons for doing these things. Use the reasons I’ve
given if they make sense to you, to save you the trouble of thinking it
through yourself, or write your own, or both. If you need to include

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items I haven’t thought of, write down your own reasons why it makes
sense to you to include these things. Keep it as simple as possible
and just go for the really essential things to start with. At the end of it,
I want you to have your own basic daily routines defined, which you
are fully confident are the way to go, so you just don’t have to think
about it. That is, do the decision making part now, (in fact I think
you’ll find it’s done and you’ll have trouble justifying a lot of changes),
and eliminate indecision as a hindrance in your life.

The routines I’m about to give you here are purely examples, and
you’ll need to adapt them. Here they are:

Morning routine:
1. Get up and make your bed.
2. Shower and get fully dressed. Dress as nice as you can.
3. (If you have little kids) Get kids up and fully dressed. Make
their beds if they’re too little to make them.
4. Have breakfast, sitting down at the table.
5. Clean up after breakfast.
6. Check your meal plan to see what you’re having for dinner.
7. Check your calendar or diary.
8. Put on a load of laundry/washing (if you need to do it daily, or if
it’s your laundry/washing day).
9. Tend to your pets or plants (if you have them.)

Reasons for doing these things, and some suggestions about getting
yourself to do them:

Getting up at your chosen time

Choose a time that works for you, so you don’t have to rush and you
can do everything you want to do. Be realistic. Don’t decide to get
up an hour earlier to exercise or work if you’re having trouble fitting in
breakfast at the moment. Go in stages.

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Getting up at your chosen time is a great start to the day. It starts
you off feeling in control, and that’s a good thing. Being able to do it
habitually and easily is a great achievement. It’s worth the effort.
Ok, so if you’re like me, getting up on time is one of the hardest parts.
Do whatever you can think of to make it easier for yourself. If it’s
cold, put a heater on a timer in the bathroom, and put your dressing
gown and slippers right next to your bed. Set your clock radio to a
station you really like, or change stations just to make it feel different
when you hear it next time.

When you wake up in the morning and it’s hard to get up, tell yourself
why you’re doing it. Plan in advance what you’re going to tell yourself
when it happens tomorrow morning, and put it in your own words in a
way that is most meaningful to you, for example “I’m getting up
because my kids need me” or “I’m getting up because I want to get
my stuff done so it will be nicer for me when I get home tonight”.

If it is reasonable and possible for you to have a lie in on certain days,


enjoy it, but I recommend still setting a get up time so you feel in
control of yourself. So limit your weekend lie in to no more than an
hour later than normal, less if this tends to throw off your body clock.

A good way to regulate your sleeping hours is to always get up at


your chosen time, but allow your body to tell you when it’s time to go
to sleep. Read in bed or listen to music or watch TV until you feel
sleepy. That way your body will naturally get the sleep you need, but
you’ll be in control of when your day gets started. So this is another
reason to get up at your decided time, always, no matter what. You
are listening to your body, but at bedtime, not in the morning.

Expect that you will initially want to put off getting up, because you’re
all warm and cosy, dreaming, comfortably sleepy and so on. Tell
yourself “yes, but I’ve decided to get up at this time because it’s best
for me, and I trust and follow my own decisions”, or something like
that.

Don’t fall into the ‘just another 10 minutes’ trap. It’s a trap. Put your
feet straight on the floor and go. Go where? Yes, it’s easier to do if

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you know exactly what you’re doing next, especially when you’re still
all sleepy. What you’re doing next is making your bed.

Making your bed

So now you’ve managed to get out of bed. You don’t leave your bed
unmade even if you’re planning on changing the sheets that day.
You can strip the bed instead of making it if you like, but if you don’t
strip it you have to make it. This is a safeguard in case you don’t get
around to changing the bed that day, so you’ll still get the benefits of
a made bed.

Having a made bed sets the tone for the room, is a good start to the
day, shows that you care about yourself enough that you feel you
deserve a made bed to go to sleep in at night, makes the whole room
look tidier, discourages dumping stuff on it, sets an example for your
kids, keeps your sheets clean from kids, pets or stuff that may get on
it during the day, and means you have a nice made bed to get into at
bedtime.

If you have junk all over your bed, get it all off and keep it off. Your
bed is where you get the rest your body needs, it is not storage. If
you don’t like your bed, or your sheets or your pillow or your covers or
your room, that is not a reason not to make your bed. Being tired
when you get up is not a reason not to make your bed. It doesn’t
take more than 5 minutes.

Do it as soon as your feet hit the floor, (yes, you may go and pee first)
unless your partner is still in it, in which case tidy up your side as best
you can, and go back and do it when they’re up. (Unless you’re able
to get a ‘last one up makes the bed’ thing going, or do it together).
Tell yourself “I’m doing this to be nice to myself” or whatever similar
phrase works for you. Don’t try to do it perfectly and take ages; this
will just depress you and put you off doing it tomorrow. Just spend a
few minutes at the most.

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Getting fully dressed

Dressing as well as you can every day makes you feel better and
makes you more productive, and makes you ready for anything. It’s a
habit you can get into which can change your life. A bold statement
yes, but I really believe in this.

So don’t wear your bumming around at home clothes, even if


bumming around at home is your plan for the day. (Unless of course
you have the coolest bumming around at home ensemble which
looks and feels great and makes you energetic, efficient and
productive).

Look your best and your day will turn out better. Look your best and
be ready for anything, always. Even if you’re feeling low and really
can’t be bothered. In fact, the yuckier you’re feeling the more
important it is that you get fully dressed. Wearing yucky clothes will
just keep you feeling that way.

If you’re really so sick you need to stay in pyjamas, then you should
be staying in bed or on the couch, and that’s fine. Better make them
your best pyjamas though.

But if you’re up and about, you need to be fully dressed. What if


someone dropped in unexpectedly, what if you had to go out in a
hurry?

Spend a bit of time on the details of your grooming, whatever those


things are that make you feel your best. Do your eyebrows or nails
need attention? Do you have fragrance you never wear? If you don’t
like it, throw it out or give it away, but if you like it, wear some, every
day. Wear it because you like it.

Guys, do you feel better if you’ve had a shave or a bit of a trim? And
don’t forget, blokes can use moisturizer too. Just because you’re
male doesn’t mean you can’t look after your skin.

If you like makeup, try to wear at least a little, most days. It keeps
you in practice so that when you do want to really doll up you know

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what you’re doing, and if you’re a makeup wearer, you know it makes
you feel better. Yes, you’ll have to spend a few minutes washing it
off, but that’s Ok. If you don’t like makeup, fine, but use your
moisturiser. And not just on your face. Give your elbows and knees
some at the very least, and anywhere that tends to get a bit rough or
dry.

What’s the point of fixing your hair, shaving or putting on makeup,


wearing your jewellery, wearing your best jeans or a dress or a nice
top or whatever if nobody’s going to see you? If your kids are going
to mess you up anyway? If you hate your job anyway? If you’re not
going anywhere today?

It’s because of how it makes you feel. You need to do it for yourself
and not for anyone else. This can be really hard to get your head
around. I was brought up not to be wasteful, and I would actually feel
silly dressing nicely without good reason, saving my best clothes for
goodness knows when.

If you have a partner or a family, dressing nicely is going to benefit


them as well. Your partner will appreciate it, and you are setting a
good example for your kids. And they will enjoy how it makes you
feel too.

Have you ever watched that UK TV show What Not to Wear? Trinny
and Susannah say there’s no excuse for dressing in sloppy clothes
every day just because you have young children. Why can’t you
have nice flattering clothes with baby sick on the shoulder? The
answer is you can, and you should.

If you don’t have many clothes, that doesn’t mean you save the best
ones for ‘best’. The clothes are there to serve you, not the other way
around. Always “put your best foot forward”.

You don’t need to live your life trying not to take up too much space
and pretending you don’t exist. Wear your best clothes. I don’t mean
evening clothes for scrubbing the toilet, but you can wear your best
jeans instead of the awful ones or track pants, you can wear tailored
trousers instead of jeans, you can wear a skirt for every day, you can

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wear a shirt with a collar for no particular special occasion, you can
wear a t-shirt that suits you.

Even if you have to wear a uniform or overalls, you can make sure
you’ve got decent comfortable shoes and attend to some little details.
You can put some lippy and mascara and earrings on if you wear
them, and do something nice with your hair, just because that’s you,
and you are a real person who exists in the world and deserves to be
here and feel good.

Imagine at work today you have an important meeting with someone


you really admire who could help you with your career or your
business; or your mother in law is coming to visit, or you’re going to a
nice restaurant for lunch with your best friend, or a magazine is
coming to take photos of you and your kids. What would you wear?
Right, well wear that. Spend 5 minutes more in the bathroom, do that
extra little thing that makes you feel you’re looking your best. And do
it just for yourself.

But nothing fits, but you’re just waiting to lose weight first, but you
haven’t got time, but your partner will laugh at you, your mother will
ask aren’t you worried about that top getting ruined, your workmates
will stare at you and ask what’s going on….But but but. But nothing!
This is for you.

If you really think you’ll feel embarrassed to make a sudden change


in your everyday appearance, that’s easy to address. Simply do it
gradually. Make a small change at a time that you think people will
hardly notice, then you can get into your new habit without being too
conspicuous. It might help ease you into it as well.

If you are working outside the home, dressing well will help your
career. You should always dress like you have the next job up. Want
to be a manager, dress like a manager now, and when a promotion
becomes available, they’ll think of you. Also, it will change your
attitude. If you dress like somebody who’s successful, you’ll feel
more successful.

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If you’re at home with children, or whatever your situation, if you
dress like someone who likes themselves and feels good and is
confident, it will nudge you towards feeling more and more that way.
Fake it til you make it.

Don’t deny your individuality or personal style; I’m not saying you
should look any particular way. What I’m saying is you should wear
what you think looks really good. If you were someone else looking
at you, would you admire you? Would you feel confident in you?

And shoes in the house? Yes, shoes in the house. I do know a lot of
people prefer not to allow shoes in the house for reasons of
cleanliness. If you’re a ‘no shoes in the house’ family, just have some
shoes that you wear indoors only, but something that makes you feel
dressed, not slippers. The test is, do you feel good in them, do they
make you want to get going, do you feel fully dressed if someone
comes to the door, are they good enough to go out in.

Now for me, I feel perfectly well dressed in summer with just rubber
thongs (flip flops) on my feet, or Birkenstocks. I’m a casual kind of
girl. But my toenails are always manicured and painted.

Changing from shoes to slippers can be a good way of signalling that


you’ve knocked off for the day. Save them for when you’ve finished
everything and it’s time to sit down and relax before bed.

If you have little kids, get them up and fully dressed

For the same reasons as you get dressed yourself, even if you don’t
think you’re going out. Someone might come to the door, you might
have to take them to the doctor or hospital, and you’re setting an
example for them and teaching them what needs to be done.

Not just an example of needing to be presentable, but an example of


self respect and taking proper care of yourself. Don’t forget to brush
their hair, and don’t stress out that they’re just going to get all dirty
very quickly. And use your children’s nice clothes too. They grow out

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of everything so quickly. If something gets damaged or stained, don’t
stress about it. Their clothes often only last one season anyway.

Yes, having them eat breakfast in their pyjamas might mean you can
just wash their pyjamas, which might need washing anyway, and then
you can put them in clean clothes and not worry about them making a
mess of their clothes with their breakfast. Perfectly valid point.

But you have to change their nappy anyway before they come out for
breakfast, and then is there any danger of you just leaving those
pyjamas on well after breakfast? Or is that just me? Anyway, I highly
recommend the plastic bibs with the little scoop at the bottom to catch
spills.

Having breakfast, sitting down at the table

So, we’ve established that you don’t have breakfast in your dressing
gown. You also don’t eat breakfast at your desk, or at the kitchen
bench standing up, or on the couch in front of the telly, or in the car,
and you don’t skip it either.

Same for your kids. It’s better for your kids to be in the habit of eating
at the table too. It keeps the mess contained in one area, and it’s
quality time together.

You have something decent that’s good for you and will give you the
energy and nutrition you need. I’m not writing a book about nutrition
here, but suffice to say, some complex carbs should be involved.

Tidy up as you go while you make breakfast. Put each thing away as
it’s finished with, put your tea bag in the bin, not on the side of the
sink, use those bits of time while you’re waiting for the kettle to boil or
the toast to pop up. Just keep moving, keep moving, looking for the
next thing to do.

Use your nicest dishes, have your cuppa in your lovely favourite cup,
and sit at the table with your family. Yes, sit down with them. Don’t
act like you’re too busy and eat in the kitchen while you’re doing stuff.

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If you plan it right, you can get everyone’s breakfast on the table at
the same time. Restaurants can do it for big functions; you can do it
for your family.

If you live alone, put the radio on or some music (or not, if you really
enjoy the quiet sometimes). You could even read the paper without
being rude.

If you have pets, the experts say you should feed them after you eat
yourself, so the pecking order stays as it should. I’m still working on
this one myself, as I don’t enjoy eating while the parrot is squawking,
so he gets his before I sit down.

The table should be clear of anything not needed for the meal, and
should start out clean. If you can’t sit down to eat at a clean table
because it’s covered in stuff, get a box and clear it off, and put the
stuff aside for now. This table stays clear from now on.

Don’t say you don’t have time for breakfast because it only takes 10
minutes to sit down and eat and I’ll just tell you to get up 10 minutes
earlier. Don’t say you don’t eat breakfast, because I’ll just tell you
that you have to. You can manage to sit still for 5 minutes with some
tea or coffee and a bite of toast at least.

Cleaning up after breakfast

Clear the table and wipe it, dishes in the dishwasher or wash them,
milk back in the fridge, cereal back in the cupboard, crumbs wiped off
the bench, (and if you have little ones, babies high chairs wiped
down, babies wiped down, squished bits of baby’s breakfast swept up
off the floor.)

Can’t face it? I know. Sometimes just taking your own coffee cup to
the sink seems too hard. Imagine how hard it is when you have 3
babies who you just dressed in clean clothes who now have porridge
all down the front of them, in their hair, all over their high chairs and
on the floor. Even though you left the kitchen clean last night, you

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can’t see the bench now and one of the older kids just spilled milk
everywhere.

Well, don’t do the whole kitchen. Just get all the dishes to the kitchen
and just get through that.

Then just wipe the table and just do that.

Then just put away one thing. Then just put away one more thing.
Then stack the dishes ready to wash or start putting them in the
dishwasher.

You get the idea. It’s not going to go away. It has to be done, and if
you don’t do it now it will just depress you. So do what you can to
make it more enjoyable, try to get it done within a set time, and
whatever you do, clear that table off and have it clean and ready for
the next meal.

Checking your meal plan

Making a meal plan for the week is in the next section, but checking it
is a daily task that will make your life much easier. While you’re in
the kitchen in the morning, check your menu to see what you’re
planning on preparing for dinner tonight. Now that you know, you can
take something out of the freezer if you need to, or get a head start
on the preparation. I’m putting this step in the evening routine as
well, in case something needs longer to defrost.

Put on a load of washing/laundry

Ok, there might be some people who don’t have to wash every day,
but if you have kids, chances are you do. It won’t go away, it won’t
wash itself, and you don’t want to wear dirty clothes, so this is
essential. Head for the washing machine, picking up washing on the
way.

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Hopefully you know where it is and what needs washing first. If
things are bad in your house, walk around with a basket and gather
up a load of what you need to wash soonest so you’ll all have
something to wear tomorrow. Get the machine started, and if there’s
lots more washing, get the next load sorted and ready.

No time to do this because you have to go to work? Guess what I’m


going to say. Get up 10 minutes earlier and don’t skip this. Are you
going to miss those 10 minutes tomorrow when you’re scrounging
around for clean clothes and the pile is even higher?

You can hang it up or put it in the dryer when you get home. Or
perhaps you’ve got a timer on your washer and it’s washed overnight
and ready to go in the dryer in the mornings. That’s fine, but do
attend to your laundry every morning. Work out how many loads per
day or per week you need to do, and when you’re going to fold it and
put it away. It’s got to be folded and put away the same day it’s dry,
always, or it will build up and you’ll be scrounging through the basket
looking for something to wear.

Do you like living out of the washing basket? Do you like not having
clean clothes to put on? When else are you going to do it? Later
you’ll need time to fold it and put it away anyway. It’s better to spread
it out and get an early start on it, really.

Once you get into the habit of doing it as often as you have a suitable
load, and following the whole process through to completion every
time, it will be something you just don’t have to worry about or think
about.

If you are very busy, this is not an excuse not to do your washing. It’s
even more reason why you need to keep on top of it to make things
easier for yourself. The washing fairy is not going to come and do it.
If you do have a washing fairy, send him to my place please.

If you’re overwhelmed with washing at the moment, you might have


too many clothes, and that will get sorted out when we get to weeding
out your junk. Make sure that you or members of your family are not
putting things out to wash un-necessarily, making extra work you

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could do without. If it’s been worn, it can often be worn again. Hold it
up to the light, sniff it (yep, I said it), and show your family how to do
this if they have trouble with this kind of decision making and tend to
throw everything in the basket because they’re not sure.

If you’re really behind and have a frightening pile of washing, you


must wash every day until you’re caught up; and to stop it getting any
worse, you need to do one load per day more than you would
normally have to do. So if the size of your family means you make 2
loads of washing a day, you must do 3 til you catch up.

Make yourself a designated sorting area and keep it all in one place,
and just make sure you’re not going backwards. Don’t worry, it will
catch up eventually. Do the stuff that you actually need to wear first,
and have a couple of boxes or bags for items which are to be thrown
away or given away, as when you have a great backlog of washing it
does tend to contain items you no longer need.

If you’re washing for other people, those old enough to do so should


bring their own washing to the laundry basket. You may need to ask
them on a daily basis as I do, whether they’ve brought out their
washing, but they will catch on eventually, and it’s better for them in
the long run to learn to take some responsibility for it themselves.

If you take your washing out to be done, to an apartment block


basement or your local laundrette, just have getting everything you
need gathered up and ready to go in the morning part of your routine.

Tend to your pets and/or plants if you have them

If you love your pets you don’t want them living in filth or not getting
the attention and exercise and care they need. They need your care,
or a better home. Feed them, wash their bowls, change their water,
walk them, give them attention and so on, every day.

I have to clean cat litter every day, which is in the laundry, so I do it


while I’m putting the washing on. People with dogs will usually have
to take them for a walk. People with parrots need to let them out of

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their cage for some attention, a stretch and a shower. People with
cats need to pat them or play with them, maybe brush them. People
with lizards, well, I have no idea what they have to do. Feed them
some grasshoppers or something, check their lights.

And if you have plants that need watering you’d better do that too. I
still haven’t had another plant in the house since the last one I killed,
but maybe one day.

So those are my thoughts about your morning routine. If yours really


must be very different, just promise me you’ll make your bed for now.

Afternoon or arriving home and dinner routine:

This one will be more varied depending on your circumstances, so


I’ve given some different examples.

Full time parent with school age kids:

1. Pick up kids from school.


2. Have kids get their lunchboxes, drink bottles and any school
notices out of their school bags, then put their bags away
and get changed if needed.
3. Ask them what their homework is.
4. Snack and drink for everybody, including you.
5. Send kids off to do homework, and show it to you when it’s
done if needed.
6. Open your mail and attend to it right away.
7. Fold washing or start preparation for dinner, keeping yourself
available for the kids.
8. Kids to tell you when they’ve finished their homework, and
pack their bag for the next day.
9. Check kids rooms are tidy before they have free time until
dinner. If their room needs tidying up, spend up to 10
minutes in there with them guiding and encouraging, but not
doing it all for them.

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10. Prepare dinner.
11. Eat dinner at the table, everyone together.
12. Everyone helps clear up after dinner together, until it’s done.
13. Feed pets.

This afternoon routine for parents is a tough one. It can be a grind, or


it can be pleasant, depending on your attitude. The secret is to
accept that you need to get on with things and also be available to
the kids. For the first hour or so they’ll be full of questions and
demands and wanting to tell you things, so you’re much better off
quietly peeling potatoes or folding washing than doing anything which
requires concentration.

When you know you’re going to be constantly interrupted at that time,


accept it, plan for it, and make it pleasant. Plan your activities that
need uninterrupted time for a different time.

If you get into the head space of accepting that you’re ‘on call’ during
this time, and just plan to do easy, routine things, not anything where
you need to concentrate, you’ll feel less stress and enjoy it more.

If your after school routine is more complicated like mine is, because
of kids after school activities, it’s best to make a different routine for
each day of the week, fitting in with what time you have to leave, what
time you get home, how you fit dinner in with that and so on. I keep
my phone on me and have reminders set on it so I don’t have to keep
checking the time.

If you have ‘dead’ time where you’re waiting around while your child
is in the activity, plan useful or enjoyable things to do, like small
errands, reading, or listening to your favourite music. Instead of
boring, waiting around time, enjoy your knitting or your magazine.

With the kids after school routine, sticking to this and doing things in
the same order each day will get both them and you into good habits,
and make it much easier to keep up with their homework.

If they give you their lunchboxes and notices straight away every
time, you’ll never miss any notices, and you won’t be hunting for a

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lunchbox with a half eaten sandwich in it the next morning. If they
have their snack straight away at a set time rather than grazing all
afternoon, they’ll be suitably hungry when dinner is ready. If they
have to tell you what their homework is, and show you when it’s
done, it will remind you as well as them to keep on top of it.

Single person with dog:

1. Arrive home, get a drink, get changed if you like.


2. Put music on and some household fragrance (incense or
essential oil or scented candles) to welcome yourself home.
3. Open your mail, check emails, phone messages etc, and attend
to them right away.
4. Take dog for a walk.
5. Hang up washing or put in dryer or fold and put away if dry.
6. Start dinner.
7. Eat dinner sitting at a nicely set table.
8. Clean up after dinner, including dishes.
9. Feed dog, water plants.

If you’re coming home to just your own company, or perhaps just


pets, it can be harder to motivate yourself sometimes to do things like
prepare a proper meal, sit down to eat it at the table and so on. I
have nothing against eating take away every night if you can afford it
and you don’t like to cook, but I do think it’s worth the effort of setting
the table, using proper dishes and so on. You deserve to make
things nice for yourself even if no-one else will see it.

You still need balance in your life, and to have some exercise and so
on, even though you have the luxury of being able to sit in front of the
TV or at the computer for as long as you like. Make a routine for
yourself that is good for you. Perhaps you like a shower when you
get home, perhaps your dog needs a quick outdoor visit when you get
home, and you have a longer relaxing walk together after dinner,
perhaps you eat out often (you lucky thing) and dinner is not part of
your usual evening routine at home, perhaps you have an iguana and
not a dog, or you’re not even committed to a house plant (now I’m

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really envious). You know what I mean. Make your habits ones that
are good for you, that you feel proud of.

Couple arriving home from work, or one partner arriving home

1. Arrive home, get a drink and get changed if needed.


2. Sit down together for a hello, how was your day chat, with
music and drink/snack if you like.
3. Attend to mail, emails, phone messages and laundry.
4. Each a bit of quiet time to themselves for meditation or a
personal activity.
5. Prepare dinner together, or one of you keeping the cook
company and setting the table etc.
6. Eat dinner together, sitting at the table.
7. Clear up after dinner together, til it’s done.
8. Check your meal plan to see what’s for dinner tomorrow.

Reasons for doing these things:

A drink and a snack

Pretty simple really, if you’ve just come home from work, you’re
hungry and thirsty, and if your kids have just come home from school,
they’re famished. You need something suitable to put in your tummy
straight away when you get home, so you don’t spoil your appetite for
dinner. Don’t skip the snack, but let it be finished when it’s finished.

Welcome home

Whether it’s just you, you and your partner, or you and your kids, you
need a little bit of time just to relax and unwind. It’s nice to do
something to welcome yourself home, such as putting on music or
household fragrance, or just sitting quietly for a few minutes, or
talking and catching up with each other. There may be lots to do, but
you need a chance to get in the door and be home first.

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But, let this time be finished when it’s finished, because there’s lot’s
more to do. Tying it in with a drink and a snack helps define the time.

Attending to mail, email, phone messages etc

It’s got to be done sometime, and better sooner than later. It’s better
done daily so it doesn’t get a chance to build up, and so that it doesn’t
take too long and end up being a mountainous task that gets put off.
So after you’ve done the snack, drink and welcome home settling in,
this is next. Write anything that needs noting down on your calendar,
toss out the rubbish mail, file things away properly. It just makes it
easier for yourself.

Preparing dinner

If your partner is home, don’t you prefer to keep each other company
while one of you cooks, and help out? If it’s just you, you still need a
healthy balanced meal, and aren’t you lucky you can eat whatever
you fancy. Make the meal preparation time an enjoyable time,
however you can.

Cleaning up as you go when you are cooking is the thing to do. Put
all your rubbish in the bin straight away, wash dishes as you use
them, wipe the bench and give the floor a quick sweep when you’ve
finished chopping vegetables, wipe any spills on the stove straight
away.

Often there are little bits of spare time when you’re cooking while
you’re waiting for something. You may as well use these little bits of
time to clean up whatever you can so there’s less to do after the
meal.

And why not have some music, something nice to drink, make it an
enjoyable time rather than a chore.

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Eating at the table

Once you get used to it, you’ll wonder how you ever tolerated sitting
in front of the TV with your dinner. You can’t concentrate on the
programme for one thing. Dinner is a social event, it’s a civilized
event, it needs to be a bit special every day, even dinner for one. It
keeps mess off the couch, indicates a proper start and finish to the
meal, and encourages cleaning up properly afterwards.

Cleaning up after dinner

Always fully clean up after dinner and do the dishes. Hopefully this
will include leaving the stove, oven and bench tops clean, but at the
very least, always fully clear and clean the table, and do the dishes.
If you have a dishwasher, this means running it, and also washing
any extra dishes that aren’t going in it. This could take 5 minutes to
half an hour, maybe an hour if you’ve just had 14 people for a dinner
party and don’t have a dishwasher. But assuming it’s just an average
family with a dishwasher, 15 minutes.

They’re not going to do themselves, they’re not going to go away, you


don’t want a bigger pile tomorrow, seeing them there is depressing,
getting up to see them in the morning is even more depressing. Just
do them.

Consider yourself lucky if you have a dishwasher, and know that


means there’s even less excuse to leave dirty dishes.

Dirty dishes left undone leads to an ever dirtier kitchen. Mess attracts
mess. Leaving any dishes at all for tomorrow morning is just delaying
the inevitable, and makes things harder for you.

You have to have some minimum standard, and this one is essential.
If you don’t do the dishes it’s only one step away from Frank Zappa’s
Dangerous Kitchen or featuring on How Clean Is Your House. Just
do ‘em.

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Will some music make it more pleasant? Do you need to treat
yourself to some new rubber gloves? Great, but you still have to do
them tonight, not tomorrow when you’ve gotten that stuff. Don’t go to
bed with a sink full of dishes.

Dirty dishes can lead to elephants smashing up your house, rhinos


denting your car, drought, floods, or at the very least, the awful sight
of them when the next meal time comes up.

Checking your meal plan

A quick glance at your meal plan (which you might like to keep stuck
on the fridge) will tell you if you need to take anything out of the
freezer tonight.

Washing/laundry

Don’t forget your washing. Just putting the machine on is not


enough. It’s got to be dried, folded and put away. Every time.
Shocking isn’t it, but it really does. Having your laundry under control
is a lovely feeling. Folding one load is a lot easier than folding a great
mountain of it. If you fold each load as soon as you can after it’s dry,
it will get easier and easier. And don’t forget to put it away in drawers
and wardrobes.

If you’re doing washing for other people in your home, it’s also
perfectly reasonable to expect them to put away their own clothes.
What, they’re all far too busy with work and study and that’s your job?
Well, it’s your call, but I think even if you’re a full time homemaker, at
least your children who are old enough need to learn this simple life
skill.

It’s not very time consuming, and it helps them feel more responsible
for their own things. It’s a perfectly reasonable thing to expect help
with folding the washing too. Yes, you’re happy to care for your
family, but you’re not a personal servant, and children do need to
learn some basic life skills. It’s their clothes too, after all.

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So you got it washed this morning, now it’s time to fold it and put it
away, put it in the dryer, bring it in from the clothes line, or whatever
the next stage is that you’re up to. You have a 24 hour turn around
limit on your washing unless it got soaked with rain or something.
Keep it moving, keep it moving. Complete the cycle.

Yes, it just comes right back again, I know, but it will be in smaller
manageable basketfuls if you keep completing the full cycle and get it
folded and put away. You’re doing it for yourself, because it makes
things nicer for you. Do you really want to go scrounging through the
basket for your clean undies in the morning?

As you’re folding the washing, tell yourself it’s a pleasure to do it


because it’s not too much, and you’re pleased with yourself that you
got it washed. Think of how nice it will be to find your clean clothes
where they should be. Think of how nice it will be to go to the laundry
basket tomorrow and not see twice as much.

Getting changed after work or school

This is not essential of course, and I’ve recently discussed it with my


kids and decided they no longer need to change out of their school
uniform after school unless they want to, as long as they have put all
their washing out every day, as they have spares to wear.

If you wear a uniform and don’t have a spare, you need to change so
you can wash it or keep it clean for tomorrow. Changing after work for
you may not be necessary either, but there are occasions where it’s a
good idea. If you wear a uniform to work you might just feel better
changing, you might need to freshen up or even shower, or you might
need a change of clothes to signal to yourself that you’re now home,
and it’s time to do different things, get your mind into a different
space.

Even a change of shoes might be a good idea, especially if you’ve


been on your feet a lot. It’s supposed to be good for your feet to
change your shoes, maybe because your foot muscles get a different
position, and probably also just to keep them fresh. If you do change

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when you get home, put something nice on. It can be comfortable,
but it still needs to make you feel good and look good.

Exercise

If it’s possible to fit some exercise in somewhere in the routine, do it.


You know it does you good in so many ways. Your heart and lungs,
your muscles, your blood circulation, your metabolism, your general
feeling of well being will all benefit from it. It only needs to be a 10
minute brisk walk or whatever is suitable for your fitness level and
health conditions. Check with your doctor if you’re not sure, but even
if there’s illness or injury, your doctor will probably recommend some
type of movement daily.

If you’re struggling with more essential basics, you can add this one
in later, but it’s going to be added in eventually.

So those are my thoughts about the afternoon or arriving home and


dinner routine. I know it will often vary daily; mine certainly does. I
have a different one for each day of the week, with the times I need to
leave to drive kids to ballet lessons and pick them up highlighted. If I
find myself feeling lost or aimless, I check my list and get back on
track. When I follow a routine it’s much easier to get all the essentials
done, there seems to be more free time and less rushing, and I’m a
whole lot less stressed. I’ve balanced my time including all important
areas, and it feels better!

Evening routine:
1. A quick tidy up.
2. Check your calendar to see what’s on tomorrow.
3. Get your clothes ready for tomorrow and your kid’s clothes too.
4. Pack for tomorrow.
5. Brush your teeth and wash your face.
6. Go to bed in time to get enough sleep.

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For me, it works much better to do as much of the evening routine as
I can early in the evening, as soon as possible after dinner. So that’s
the quick tidy up, checking the calendar and getting ready for the next
day. I do my quick tidy up as soon as the younger kids are in bed
and not making any more mess, then there’s very little to do before I
go to bed myself.

While I’m getting the babies into their pyjamas I get their clothes
ready for the next day. If I leave getting my own clothes out until
bedtime, I’m more likely to skip it, so I do that soon after putting the
little ones to bed. Sometimes it’s good to even get fully ready for bed
before it’s actually bedtime. Then when you’re good and sleepy, all
you have to do is hop into bed.

Reasons for making these things routine

A quick tidy up

Don’t spend more than about 15 minutes, but if you do a quick tidy up
every evening, you can keep your house tidy all the time. If you’re
starting from a point where you’re a long way from tidiness, this will
stop it getting any worse as well as contribute to the gradual
movement towards tidiness.

Look out for any areas like the kitchen bench, hall table etc that seem
to attract stuff that doesn’t belong there. I often surprise myself with
how little time it takes me compared with how messy it looks to start
with. I often get the older kids to help me with this and we do it all
together in a flash. Getting your family involved regularly in this quick
tidy up has the added benefit of making them think twice about
leaving things lying around in the first place.

Check your diary or calendar to see what’s on tomorrow

It takes 2 seconds and can avert all sorts of disasters. Having and
using a calendar is essential to being organized, so make sure you’ve

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got one, and make sure you check it daily. If there’s not much on it
now, don’t worry, there soon will be. You absolutely must use a
calendar or diary of some sort. It’s a great tool, and over time you
can become more creative in how you get it to work for you.

Get your clothes for tomorrow ready, and your kids’ clothes too

Not necessary? Your clothes are all washed, ironed, folded and put
away in the drawers and wardrobe in an orderly fashion, easy to find
and all flattering and comfortable? Great, then it will be really quick
and easy for you to do this, but you still have to do it. If you ever
have trouble deciding what to wear, or even finding something clean,
you’ll have to agree this makes sense.

It also helps with that pile of clothes that can build up in your
bedroom. You know, the one where there are clothes that you
haven’t decided if they’re clean or dirty, so you throw them over a
chair. If you’re putting out your clothes for tomorrow it might help you
decide whether those jeans are ok for another day or need to go in
the wash basket. It’s quite ok to have some clothes out that you have
worn and are going to wear again. Just have a designated place to
put them neatly, and don’t let the pile get out of control. You might
even allocate a special drawer, shelf or hanging area for them.

Pack for tomorrow

Kids school bags with their homework, hat etc, nappy bag if you’re
going out with babies, your handbag with letters to post etc, briefcase
for work or backpack for uni or college. There’s nothing worse than
forgetting something you need, or rushing to find it at the last minute,
or having to turn back and get it after you’ve set off.

There’s no excuse for not doing this, as it has to be done anyway.


You’re just making it easier on yourself doing it now. I know it’s a
hard one to do because it’s not essential, like putting your clothes out.
Just try it a few times and you’ll be grateful to yourself the next day.

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I like to have checklists for various types of packing to minimise the
amount of thinking required. It can be helpful to kids to have a school
bag packing checklist too, so they remember their music, their hat,
their jumper, their homework and so on.

Brush your teeth and wash your face

This should be pretty self explanatory, but lots of people still neglect
themselves in little ways. If you really need a reason for this other
than your teeth rotting and your pores being clogged and your
eyelashes falling out, well, what if there was an emergency in the
middle of the night and the fire fighters or ambulance officers saw you
with panda eyes and bad breath.

Go to bed in time to get enough sleep

If you don’t get enough sleep you’re not going to function well the
next day, or everything tomorrow is going to be delayed because you
slept late. Getting enough sleep is essential for your health. I hear
it’s also good for your appearance, and stopping your skin from
prematurely ageing.

There’s no point though lying in bed because you think you should,
and not being able to sleep. As I mentioned earlier, if you always
stick to the same getting up time, your body will tell you when it needs
to go to sleep.

If you’ve been having trouble with insomnia, first try to identify any
obvious causes like caffeine or alcohol too close to bedtime. If you
suffer from restless leg syndrome, you might find that it always starts
after you’ve had your legs up or been lying down for half an hour or
so. Try to find a pattern to what is happening with your body so you
know what you’re dealing with. Do what you can to make yourself
more comfortable, whether it’s a bath before bed, exercise, putting
your feet up on the couch for a while before going to bed, or taking a
nutritional supplement.

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Listen to your body. Take your best guess of when you think you
need to go to bed, then read or put the TV or music on a timer. Take
a drink of water to bed with you (and if you’re pregnant keep some
crackers or some kind of snack, and some antacid next to the bed
too).

Work routines

If you’re working, whether outside the home or from home, whether


it’s a business, paid work or voluntary work, you will also have basic
start and finish routines here. It really is worth taking the time to
define them and write down what needs doing every day, in what
order, and roughly how long it should take.

Making a basic work routine might be very clear and easy, depending
on what you do. For a lot of people though, particularly the self
employed or those doing anything artistic or creative, it might be less
clear, and you might need to really put some effort into identifying the
essential parts. It’s effort well worth making.

Some of your work is for getting ahead, making money, making


progress, providing service. It’s what you probably need to spend the
majority of your time on, the “bread and butter”. Other things are
maintenance tasks, administration, things that keep it all ticking over
and keep it together.

The smaller maintenance type tasks need to have their time limited
and be done as quickly and efficiently as possible, so you’re free to
get on with the important stuff, producing or selling your product,
providing your service, creating and designing, researching, or
whatever it is. You shouldn’t let the maintenance and administrative
tasks overtake and infringe upon the more important aspects of your
work. Even if the core part of your work is administrative in nature,
there will still be reports, meetings, emails and correspondence and
so on, which are not the main part of your work.

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I think people in a lot of professions will know what I mean when I talk
about meetings, reports, statistics and so on infringing upon the real
part of what they do. It can be a struggle, but the more these things
are whipped into shape with routines, systems and habits, the easier
it becomes to limit them. If you work in a bureaucratic organization
where ‘managers’ are cluttering up the system with an ever
increasing list of reports, forms and so on which are making more
work rather than making the work easier, consider writing your own
analysis report detailing the problem.

If you’re likely to delegate, outsource or hire staff for some of the


tasks in the future, that’s another reason you need them to be clearly
identified now. You may start off doing all tasks yourself, then as you
take on more staff or contractors, if you have every detail of each task
identified and documented, it will be much easier to delegate, train
and monitor quality. You know how long it should take, in what order
things need to be done, and to what standard.

Make a time estimate for each routine

When you have your basic daily routines written down, make a time
estimate for each routine.

For example, my morning routine takes about 2 hours from getting up


to leaving the house to take the kids to school. I can make it 1 ½
hours, but that doesn’t give me that nice quiet time (if I’m lucky) with a
cup of tea. Having this in mind can help you avoid the tendency to
take twice as long to do everything on those days when you don’t
have to be somewhere by a certain time.

In your daily work routine, you might have an estimate of 30 minutes


you spend doing your setting up and maintenance chores, before the
real work starts. Knowing this can help you avoid eating into your
serious work time.

In your afternoon or arriving home routine, you might have a period of


2 to 4 hours in which certain things get done, and there might be

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some breaks of free time amongst it. Knowing by when you should
have finished with all these activities or tasks for the day can help you
avoid letting them carry over into the evening when you want to relax
or have other things to do. An awareness of the total time of any
pockets or free time amongst it can help you make better use of that
time, and feel more relaxed about it. Having a set time when you sit
down for dinner is a good idea too. It may need to vary slightly from
day to day to fit in with different commitments, but having the time as
consistent as possible makes life easier for everyone.

Being aware of how little time your evening items really take, can
make you realise that you really can fit them in.

Summary

Whatever needs establishing, pick one thing to start with and work
on, the most important thing, and make it an unshakeable habit
before fully tackling the next thing. Refer to the section above about
creating habits. The first thing I would start with would be
establishing a habit of using and checking your calendar or diary,
followed by getting up on time, followed by keeping up with washing
and dishes.

I realise some people may not find the examples given relevant to
their situation, perhaps if you’re retired, a student, a carer, or other
situations. I hope you’ll be able to simply adapt what I’m saying to
suit you, and just identify any essential daily tasks, and the best order
to do them in.

Ok, so these are your basic daily routines. The point of this is that
there are certain basic things that have to get done, and you are
setting a standard for yourself and developing a routine that works for
you. To become organized, starting with some basic routines is the
bare minimum.

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It may look like a lot when it’s written down. If that’s the case, as in
the afternoon example above, it makes even more sense to have it
written down because there’s such a lot to remember.

I also find that there tends to be an optimum order in which to do


routine tasks. When you find the most logical order for the parts of
your routine, they run more smoothly and it also makes them easier
to remember.

The aim is to be able to follow your basic daily routines automatically


and easily. When you can do this, when you can do even one new
part of it that you weren’t doing before, you’ll enjoy the difference it
makes. I promise.

Some more comments about the basic daily routines:


- Which parts are you already doing? Give yourself credit for
that. Really acknowledge yourself for what you’re already
doing well. Say to yourself as you’re successfully completing
items in your routine, things like “I did that really well”, “I’m
doing it”, “I’m so good!”, “I’m so capable”. If it makes you laugh
to do that, let it.

- Planning your afternoon/evening tasks sensibly will make your


relaxation time much more pleasant. How do you feel when
you’re sitting in front of the computer or TV or reading knowing
there’s dishes in the sink, and how do you feel doing the same
thing knowing you’ve done everything you needed to do?

- As you get into good habits and routines, the actual chores
themselves will become more enjoyable. The difference is in
your attitude. When you stop rebelling against things that are
good for you, and realize that you’re the one in charge, and
you’re doing these things for yourself, you’ll feel happier.

- When you don’t do something you’ve decided you wanted to


do, who exactly are you rebelling against? It was your decision
to do this thing. You worked it out and decided that it was in

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your best interests. Tell that pesky sub-conscious mind to but
out and stop interfering with your plans. The habit of giving up
and letting it slide is not your conscious choice, so it can just
nick off. You are the one in control. Tell yourself “I want to be
organized; I’m doing this for myself”.

- As you take charge a little bit at a time, you will feel enormous
pleasure when you recognize the changes you’ve made to how
you do things, however small those changes are. A little
change, a very little change, repeated over and over and over
again, can lead to a very big benefit.

- Which part is the hardest? That’s an interesting thing to give


some thought to and ask yourself why. Is there one thing you
just can’t seem to do even though you can see the logical
sense in it? Will you always avoid it if it’s not absolutely
essential? Try committing to trying it just once, and see how
that feels. Really compare how hard it was, how much benefit
you got from it, to what it was like not doing it.

- Which part will benefit you the most, or do other things depend
on? Start with that thing first. Getting up on time is usually an
obvious one to start with.

- Keep working at that one thing til you’ve done it for one month
straight before trying to change something else. If you try to do
too much at once, it won’t work. That doesn’t mean let
everything else go while you’re concentrating on that one thing,
but rather carry on as usual with everything else, doing your
best, but with the new habit you’re currently concentrating on,
fully dedicate yourself to it for that month, doing whatever it
takes to get yourself to do that one thing consistently.

- Tell yourself and keep in mind very clearly the reasons why you
want to do this thing. Keep reminding yourself. Let there be no
doubt that it is worth doing, that it will make you happier, that it
will make your life better, that you are doing it for yourself and
nobody else. For it to work you have to believe in it. This point
is so easily missed, and is one of the main places where the

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interfering little voices in your subconscious will try to stuff you
up. Keep the reason in mind as you work each day to persist
with the new habit.

- If you’re having a study blockage, jump on this one right away.


Set a timer to do 10 or 15 minutes, even 5 minutes if you’re
really struggling, then stop, have a break, and try it again.
Breaking the cycle of feeling blocked is the hardest part. It’s
easy to feel overwhelmed by it, or spend all your study time
making a study plan. Get some help or extra information about
strategies for studying, but don’t let this be a way of avoiding
studying.

Give yourself a minimum daily amount of time and spend this


time without fail. Go straight to where you need to do the most
work. Read the most relevant text, or work on the essay due
soonest. Don’t be tempted to waste time picking around the
edges and going to the easiest tasks first. See the section in
chapter 2 about distraction.

- Although you’ll have the routines written down, do try to learn


them off by heart. This should be easy enough, because to
begin with they’re not too complicated. Use the written list just
to check if you’ve forgotten something. Make sure you have
easy access to them so you can refer to them throughout the
day.

- Don’t get bogged down with perfectionism with trying to make


your written routines perfect or too involved. Keep them as
simple as you can, although I know the after school one for
people with kids is long. Boy don’t I know it.

- Write your routines briefly, as written above. On another page


write them again, with your own reasons why you have decided
to do these things. The reasons are very important, as they
demonstrate that you have thought this through and made the
decision, that you can trust that decision, and that you don’t
have to make that decision again.

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- Keep them very simple to start with, sticking to the basic
essential things. As they get easier you may start to add more
details, but don’t over complicate it. Additional details often
don’t need writing down, and can be added to items you’re
already doing. For example, cleaning up the kitchen can start
very basic and as it becomes easier, naturally gets done more
thoroughly, but still keeping to some kind of time limit so you
don’t get carried away.

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Chapter 4
Step 2: Establish a basic weekly routine

As with the daily routines in the previous chapter, these are going to
be written down. These are any items which need doing regularly but
less often than daily. These items will require more thought and
shuffling around, and a more complicated decision making process,
because weekly, fortnightly or monthly tasks are easier to put off, and
there’s more choice involved in allocating a time. This is exactly why
I’m suggesting you take the time to go through it, to get rid of
indecision.

This is decision making. You’re identifying what your regular


essential tasks are, how often they need doing, and roughly how long
they take. You might find that when you see it all written out it looks
impossible and you can see why it’s not working. If that happens,
you’ll then have it all written out in front of you to help you decide
where you need to make changes.

Some people have areas of disorganization simply because there are


essential tasks that have not been identified as such. I’ve certainly
experienced that myself, which is why I think this is a useful process.
You might find that you’ve had unrealistic expectations of yourself,
and you need to trim things back a bit. Or you might find that you are
just wasting heaps of time and could get plenty more done.

If you’re flat out working full time and looking after your children as
well, or working more than one job, or any situation where you know
you have too much going on, but you’re stuck with it for the moment,
you need to set your standards accordingly, particularly with
housework.

Some things are essential, and other things, well, they still need to be
done, but they can just be done less often than you’d like ideally, and
spread out evenly. Make a few chores fortnightly or monthly rather
than weekly, and you’ve halved your work, and can still feel better

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that you’re getting it done. If you do this, you’ll have consciously
made a decision about it, and can stop worrying about it.

These are purely examples, so adapt them to suit your


circumstances. As with the daily routines though, some things are
really not negotiable. In particular, I insist that the meal planning and
shopping list are essential (unless your housekeeper and personal
chef take care of that for you). How often to do things is what
probably requires the most consideration.

So here we go. I want you to end up with the following:

• Your own list of essentials that need doing less often than daily.
• How often each item needs doing, or that you’re currently,
realistically able to do them.
• An estimate of how long each item takes.
• The best day of the week and time of day for each item.
• The items scheduled in your diary or calendar for the coming
week (or month for less frequent items).

At home
Clean out fridge
Meal plan
Shopping list
Grocery shopping
Unpacking and putting away shopping
Transport
Bills and paperwork
Rubbish bins
Housework:
- Change sheets and towels
- Clean floor
- Clean bathroom/s
- Ironing (if you must).

Now I’m just going to go through some details about deciding how
often these tasks need to be done and how long they should take

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approximately. If you’re worried that I haven’t included dusting, don’t
worry, it comes later.

Clean out fridge

This is a quick but essential task, to be done just before your meal
plan and shopping list. You only need 5 to 15 minutes at the most for
this.

Meal plan and shopping list

Once you know your shopping day, the day before, or the same day
possibly, is the day you make your list. And in order to make your list
you need to plan your meals for the week. Yes, you absolutely must
have a basic meal plan for the week, and I’ll go into detail about this
shortly.

For now, let’s just allow for planning meals and making a shopping
list every week, if you’re shopping weekly, and deciding how much
time to allow for it. Give yourself plenty of time for this, even up to an
hour if you’re not in the habit currently of planning your meals in
detail. The more thoroughly you do this, the easier your shopping trip
and your whole week will be.

If you’re going to the shops daily or every few days, buying things
you’ve got already and missing things you need, and maybe
spending too much money, getting this one sorted will make a huge
improvement.

Grocery shopping

Firstly, what are the possible options for you? The considerations are
time, money, quality, finding what you want, being able to prepare the
meals you want, parking, carrying it all and putting it away, how much
fridge, freezer and cupboard space you have, transport, whether you

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have to take kids with you, how you feel about crowds and queues
and so on.

Do some pros and cons on your options and make a decision. I


suggest you don’t try some radical new plan like going once a month
to a warehouse or something. Try to be realistic and consider how
you tend to do it at the moment and whether there are any problems
with the current system which need to be fixed.

Weekly shopping is often the most practical choice. You don’t want
too much to carry, you want things to be as fresh as possible, you
don’t want your kitchen too cluttered with stuff, and the next shopping
trip is not so far away that you can’t wait til then for anything else you
think of.

If it’s hard for you to get out, online shopping may be a good option, if
you can afford the delivery fee and the sometimes slightly higher
prices. You’ll probably still have to make a trip to the shops for a few
unavailable items though, and you may not know what was
unavailable until the order is delivered.

Anyway, you need to plan for a trip to the shops, and decide on a
regular day for it. It can seem boring committing to a specific day, but
it will make life easier. You’ll be better prepared and less harassed.
The best times are in the morning or in the evening to avoid the
crowds and queues. How long will you need? 1 to 3 hours? Make
sure the shopping time includes getting there and parking.

If you get some things from individual specialty shops, you might
need a separate trip for those things, especially if they’re not open at
the time you prefer to go to the supermarket. If so, try to make it as
soon as possible before your supermarket trip, to avoid ending up
needing to substitute your preferred items with what’s available at the
supermarket.

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Unpacking shopping and putting it away

Don’t forget you’ve got to get it inside, unpack it, and put it all away.
Don’t underestimate how long you need for this; it can be quite a big
job, especially for a large family.

Transport

Whatever kind of transport you use, there’s no getting away from


buying your ticket or putting fuel in your car, and you don’t want to get
caught out, so we’re scheduling this in too.

Firstly public transport. You don’t want to get caught without


change for the ticket machine or have to stand in a queue when
you’re running late, and you want the best value for money, so a
yearly or half yearly pass is worth considering. If you do that, you
need to put in your calendar when it’s due for renewal. If you buy
weekly or daily tickets, work out the best way to do it, preferably in
advance and not just as you’re about to travel. So this will go either
in your calendar, or in your daily or weekly routine.

Now to our cars. They run better with a full tank of petrol, because if
they’re always near empty, bits of residue will come up into the
engine. At least that’s what I’ve been told. In any case, keeping it full
makes sense because you don’t want to run out. It doesn’t cost you
any more to keep it full, you’re still using the same amount when you
drive.

I recommend having a set day of the week that you fill up your tank,
regardless of how much you’ve used. You may need to fill up more
often than that or less often if you very rarely use the car. The idea is
to not let it have the chance to get anywhere near empty before you
fill it, and doing it pretty much at the same regular time so that it’s not
something you have to think about any more.

This allows you to plan where and when you will do it too, avoiding
queues, picking the best price day, going to a station that accepts
your discount vouchers and is on the right side of the road for you to

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easily turn into in the traffic. You’ll even have time to clean the
windscreen and occasionally check your tyre pressures.

Bills and paperwork

Bills and paperwork quickly build up into scary piles if left unattended,
or even scarier, not in piles but stashed all over the place. It’s got to
be kept on top of. You need a set time to do it, otherwise you tend to
deny to yourself that it’s actually a necessary job. Just doing bits and
pieces here and there allows many details to be forgotten. An
organized person has it all under control, and it can be easy once you
get your head around it.

Choose a suitable time each week to allocate to it. Twice a week if


you need to, but I really think most people probably need to look at
bills and paperwork at least once a week. If you do this and only
have 10 minutes of work to do, lucky you. If you have at least an
hour or two, it’s obvious you wouldn’t want to leave it any longer. If
it’s over 2 hours worth each week, I think 2 sessions or more would
be better.

Rubbish/trash/garbage collection

What day of the week is your rubbish collection? Do you have


recycling picked up every week or every fortnight? Do you forget to
put it out sometimes? Unless you’ve really got this one under control,
put in on your calendar. Yes, sit down and write it in for every week,
and if you have fortnightly collections put those in too, so you’ll
always know which rubbish week it is.

I’ve rarely had a problem with this one until the council changed our
recycling, and now I need it written down. I’ve known people though
who just couldn’t seem to get the rubbish thing together, and it’s awful
having smelly old rubbish piling up. Or running outside in the cold,
early in the morning when you hear the truck coming and just missing
it. Yes, all right, I’ve done this quite a few times myself.

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Housework

Housework has to be done (no really, it does) unless you’re lucky


enough to have a cleaner to do it for you. Incidentally, if you’re going
to hire a cleaner, I recommend first timing how long it takes you to do
all the tasks yourself. It’s hard for a lot of people to entrust their
cleaning to another person; nobody ever does it just how you want. If
you time yourself you’ll have a better idea of how much work you can
realistically expect for the hours you’re paying for. Discuss with the
cleaner how you want things done and ask how they would go about
it. You might find they can do a better job doing things a different
way, but that you need to be specific about how you like certain
things. Try to be flexible where it doesn’t matter, and specific about
what you want where it does matter.

If you don’t do the cleaning in your home yourself, it’s still good to
have a clear idea of what needs doing so that you have an
appreciation for what your partner does, or an understanding of what
your cleaner needs to do. Maybe you have a cleaner doing some of
it, but you need to take care of the rest yourself.

Of course not everybody will agree about what has to be done and
how often. I will argue against spending either too much or too little
time on it, and I’m writing assuming you do it all yourself.

If your partner or children do some of it that’s great, but if there’s any


disagreement or tension in your house over who does what at the
moment, I’m suggesting you just give up nagging, reminding and
complaining and just be responsible for it yourself. I’m not suggesting
you be a doormat at all, my argument is that you concentrate on your
own actions and setting an example first, before you move on to
negotiating the division of labour any further.

If you’re not currently responsible for much of it and your partner does
most of it, schedule what you are responsible for. This might be a
good opportunity to consider whether you could be doing more.

For now I just want you to identify what needs to be done, for
example:

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Change sheets and towels weekly.
Vacuum and mop weekly.
Second quick vacuum weekly.
Clean bathrooms weekly.

Changing sheets and towels

I worry whether other people change their sheets and towels more
often or less often, and I’m sure the answer is both.

Without wanting to gross anyone out, I find with towels weekly is fine,
if they’re drying out well and people aren’t using bath towels as hand
towels and everyone has their own towel. If you’ve got someone
playing sport and needing more showers, you might need 2 towels on
the go for one person and still change them weekly perhaps, rather
than using 2 clean towels a day because they haven’t dried out.
Some people use a fresh towel for every shower, you’ll do whatever
is your comfortable standard, but as a minimum, they get changed
weekly.

I know some people change their sheets daily, and some people
rarely change them. Weekly, or every 2 weeks as a minimum. I find
babies and toddlers sheets need doing weekly, (babies sometimes
several times daily), but the older kids are often fine for 2 weeks, then
I’ll change the sheets just for reasons of dust and freshness. In any
case, there are sheets to change every week. Work out what your
standard is.

Cleaning the floor

Cleaning the floor is done twice a week in our house and a lot of
sweeping in between as well, because of 3 messy babies. I used to
obsess about the floor and take over 2 hours doing it, getting right in
all the corners and under chairs and couches, mopping when nobody
would walk on it til it was dry and so on. Common sense has kicked
in now out of necessity.

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Yes, I want the corners & skirting boards and under the couches
done, but not every week. It’s not necessary to obsess over getting
the floor perfect. The detailing will be added in later with the dusting
and so on. Just getting it regularly done is more important than doing
it perfectly. The extra quick go is just the main areas that get really
visibly dirty.

Ironing

It depends on what you wear, but unless you’re one of those strange
people who enjoy it, I suggest not letting it build up to more than 20
minutes worth. Work out how much you need to do in a week, and
decide if it needs breaking up into smaller lots.

Try to avoid ironing at all if you can. You’d be surprised how easy it
is to do without it if you try. I’ve seen some people iron their sheets
and tea towels, even socks, and other people who wouldn’t even iron
a dress shirt. I’m weaning myself off it gradually. I’m ok now with not
ironing jeans, and I find if you fold things straight away out of the
dryer or off the clothes line, although they may look a little crumpled,
once you put them on they look fine. I even recently sat at a formal
table where the table linen had not been ironed, just washed and
folded, and it looked great.

Cleaning the bathroom

Bathroom cleaning is easier the more often you do it. I’m going to
suggest you actually do a lot of it daily. Yes, daily. Don’t be afraid.
But unless you have just one small bathroom that you use yourself,
you will probably need a quick weekly clean as well. Because of the
daily cleaning I’ll talk about further on, you shouldn’t need more than
about 20 minutes per bathroom.

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Any other items?

I have to do some weekly cleaning for my parrot as well. Ok, not


everybody has a parrot, but there might be some other thing you
have to do. Perhaps it’s mowing the lawn or washing your dog.
Make sure you’ve taken into account everything you need to do on a
regular basis. You can go as far as you like, and include fortnightly or
monthly car washing, weeding, window cleaning and so on, but I
suggest to begin with keep it as simple as possible. Start with just
what is really essential and anything you’re already finding easy.

At work

When you’re ready, go through the same process for your work
tasks. You have your daily work routines just as you have your
personal ones, and there are regular work tasks done less often than
daily as well. Identify what they all are and how often they need
doing.

Make sure you include all the important regular tasks for your work
that are done less often than daily. Just as with your home or
personal life, the more you refine the details and identify what
decisions have already been made and which, if any, are still to be
made, and make them, the more smoothly and efficiently, and
therefore less stressfully, things will run.

As you identify your various work tasks, take the time to make
detailed written procedures for each task also, like an instruction
manual. The idea here is that tasks which are done less commonly
will be done in a consistent and correct way, without wasting time
figuring out or remembering the details each time.

It also serves as a manual if anything ever needs to be delegated or


outsourced. Large companies usually have these things in place
already, but they need maintaining and refining. Taking initiative with
this kind of thing can get you promoted, and is something to put on
your resume.

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Smaller businesses tend to have a lot of detailed tasks not
documented anywhere and just stored in someone’s head. This is no
good. To get ahead you need it all documented. And remember,
anything which can be measured can be improved.

List the tasks and estimate the time required for each

Make your best guess of how long each thing takes you. Your list
should look something like this for you tasks at home:

Clean out fridge 10 mins weekly


Meal planning and list 30 mins weekly
Shopping 2 ½ hours weekly
Putting shopping away 30 mins weekly
Fill car 15 mins weekly
Bills and paperwork 2 hours weekly
Rubbish bins out & back in 10 minutes weekly
Sheets and towels 30 mins weekly
Floors full 1 hour weekly
Floors quick 15 mins weekly
Ironing 0 mins weekly
Bathrooms 30 mins weekly
Lawns & garden 2 hours fortnightly
Clean car 1 hour monthly
Clean windows 2 hours twice yearly

Whether you hire help for things like gardening and window cleaning
or do them yourself, use your calendar to plan when they’re due to be
done again.

A small flat with one person will take a lot less time than a house with
pets and kids, and some people do things faster. Changing a bed
can take from 5 to 15 minutes; some people need to go more slowly.
If you have small children or you’re pregnant, or both, you’ll know
most things take longer.

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If you’re young, fit and energetic, don’t have kids and you’re working
full time outside the home, you might just need to spend a couple of
hours on a Saturday morning to do your housework, and do your
shopping one weeknight after work.

If you’re busy with kids, a bit creaky and achy in places, and have
over 8 hours a week of tasks to fit in like the list above, you’ll want to
break it up into smaller parts over the week. That’s the next bit of
decision making to be done.

Think about your lists when you have them written down. Is this
close to or way off what you normally get done. How realistic is it?
Make sure you’re confident that it really makes sense because this is
decision making you’re not going to have to do again.

Now have a think about the difference between what you’re getting
done now, and what actually needs doing. Don’t be scared of it, you
don’t have to be perfect overnight, or ever. You just need to have a
realistic idea of what needs doing. Have a good think about the times
too. They don’t have to be perfect, but guess as accurately as you
can.

Whatever time you have estimated for each task, try timing yourself
sometimes when you’re doing a task to see whether you can take
less time. This can be really helpful if you have a tendency to take
too long to do things because of perfectionism.

Schedule these items

Try to keep the weekends totally free if you can. Of course your
every day things still need to be done on the weekend, but you need
some free time to relax and have fun. If you have to do a lot of it on
the weekend, try to keep at least one day totally free.

For those working full time outside the home, I suggest at least
considering whether you can keep the weekend free from chores by
doing them after work during the week, spread out as evenly as you

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can. If you’re home full time, but have a lot to do, I still recommend
spreading it out rather than trying to do too much in one day.

When you’ve made your decision about the best time and day of the
week to do each regular task, write them in your diary or calendar for
the week ahead. Any tasks which are done less often, write them in
too for when they’re due. For these less often tasks, when you do
them, write them in your diary again for next time. Each week when
you sit down for your planning time, which I’ll be getting to, you’ll write
your tasks in again for the week ahead, making any small
adjustments you need to. You’ll only make adjustments though if
they’re necessary and there’s clearly a better way. Don’t fix it if it’s
not broken, and trust your decisions.

If you prefer not to have your regular weekly tasks written in your
diary or calendar, you could have a list for each day of the week
which you refer to. I’ve found it’s easier to avoid and forget things
this way though, which is why, even though you will remember what
needs doing on what day, I suggest writing them in your diary or
calendar. It also reinforces the habit of using your diary or calendar
daily.

So at this point, you’re working on your daily routines, and you’ve


made a commitment, at least in theory, to a weekly schedule.

Having these basic things in place, that is everything you need to get
done day to day, week to week, is the basis for getting organized.
There’s a lot more to do, but you just need to take it one step at a
time and ease into it.

The weekly items need to become habit as well, and whichever ones
you tend to put off repeatedly will need to be tackled one at a time
until you get past whatever is stopping you from doing them.

Once you actually break through and do the thing you hate so much,
whether it’s cleaning the toilet or taking care of your paperwork, you’ll
find it’s really not as hard as you thought, and there are so many
ways to make it easier and easier.

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The biggest factor in making any of these things easier is doing them
regularly. When you find yourself avoiding doing things on your list,
refer back to the earlier section of this book where I talked about the
causes of disorganization. And don’t forget the part about
concentrating on one thing at a time until it becomes a habit.

What to do if you fall off the wagon, so to speak? Just accept it and
keep going. Don’t try to go back and do what you missed (unless you
have to of course, like getting dressed or buying groceries). Just start
from where you are now on your schedule. Whatever you missed will
come up again.

Don’t complain about how hard it is, to others and especially to


yourself. Complaining is a habit you can change, and it just holds
you back. Replace those thoughts with ones that encourage you and
praise you. It can be really hard to do, but persist. Habits of mind are
within your control, and can turn your life around.

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Chapter 5

Details of weekly household tasks


(Or How to Do Housework)

If you don’t have to do housework, lucky you. Just skip this bit, or
look for any bits that you do need to do. If you do, keep in mind this
is not the one and only way to do things, it’s just a general discussion
with hopefully some useful suggestions. It should also serve as
either:
a) Reassurance that your standards and methods are good
enough
b) An indication that you need to lift your game
c) An indication that your standards are too severe and you
could possibly do with relaxing them somewhat

So here we go. This is how you do housework:

Changing sheets and towels

It’s possible to partly change sheets on a bed, that is change the


sheets and pillow cases but leave the quilt cover a bit longer. Don’t
forget to wash pillow protectors and mattress protectors as well, as
often as you feel you need to, but at least twice a year, even if they
seem clean, for the dust. If you or your partner tend to perspire in
bed, they may need washing every time the sheets are washed.
Blankets and bedspreads need a wash at least once a year also.

It doesn’t matter if you take the clean sheets into the bedroom before
or after taking the dirty ones to the laundry, but the first option might
be better if you tend to forget (like I do) that the linens you’ve taken
away need replacing. It’s annoying to go to bed or go to have a
shower then see that there’s no sheets or towels there. So I start the
process by getting the clean ones out of cupboard and taking them to

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the rooms where they belong. I recommend re-making your bed with
the clean sheets before leaving the room with the dirty ones, so you
don’t forget.

If your children are old enough to change their own sheets and
towels, this can be a signal to them that the day has arrived and they
can bring the dirty ones to the laundry for you.

Gather up all the sheets and towels that need washing and take them
to the laundry. You’ve then got all week to wash them a load at a
time. There’s a lot in my house, so a load of sheets or towels each
day gets me through the week’s worth.

When they’re washed and dry, fold them in sets. Fitted sheets are
hard to fold and I’m sure everyone has their own way of doing it. I get
the 2 corners that are furthest apart and bring them together, then get
the other 2 and match them together, then bring them all together
and……do you know what? I really don’t think it matters. They don’t
have to be folded any particular way, they just need to be washed
and dry and put away by the time they need changing again.

Cleaning bathrooms and toilets

This is a commonly neglected chore but it needn’t be hard at all.


The more you keep it clean on a daily basis, the less there is to do.

Toilets:
You need to scrub the toilet and wipe the seat and the rim and the
outside of the bowl and the floor around it. People avoid doing this
because they think it’s too gross, but using an unclean toilet is
grosser. If it’s regularly cleaned it will never be too scary to clean.

I don’t like the blue stuff in there, because you can’t tell if it’s clean, in
fact it looks as if you’re avoiding cleaning it. Having any kind of
gadget that sits inside the cistern or hangs over the edge of the bowl
does not mean you don’t have to clean the toilet! It still needs
cleaning. The best thing these gizmos do is give the room a bit of a

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fragrance and slow down the accumulation of stuff that clings to the
bowl, but no amount of fragrance will disguise that dirty loo smell.
Use gloves if you’re squeamish, but the absolute best thing to do is
clean it every morning while you’re there, then it is always sparkling
and doesn’t need touching for the weekly clean. You might feel
better about it if you do it before your shower.

If your toilet brush is gross, go all out and shout yourself a brand new
one. If you have a toilet brush that has its own tall bucket you can
keep it full of disinfectant solution, then just quickly swish around the
loo every morning. Having it sit permanently in disinfectant may also
make you feel better that it’s not crawling with germs. You will need
to top it up sometimes and clean out the bucket. Or there are
gadgets you can get now with disposable attachments. Do scrub
right down below the water line too. You shouldn’t be able to see any
marks on the porcelain at the top of the water.

Then wipe the seat & porcelain down with paper towel and window
cleaner or disinfectant or whatever you like to use. Don’t forget the
underside of the seat. If your toilet seems to stay stinky after you’ve
cleaned it, you probably need to take the seat off. Buy a new seat or
just thoroughly clean it and put it back on.

When you do your weekly bathroom clean, spend a bit longer on the
toilet than you do on your daily clean, and try to scrub under the rim
where the water comes out as much as you can. You can put gloves
on and use a scourer, or buy a special scrubber that fits into that tight
space. But if you never clean up there it will get all black and gunky,
and you don’t want that.

Showers:
I heard one of my favourite radio personalities going on one day
about how she’d bought some new shower cleaning spray, which
claimed to be able to clean your shower with no rubbing or scrubbing.
She was very annoyed to get it home and read the instructions, which
said “first start with a clean shower”. “Of course my shower’s not
*%@# clean” she said. “Why else would I have bought the stuff!” I
was in fits of laughter, and I’d bought the same stuff myself for the
same reason.

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You do have to start somewhere though. When I moved recently, the
showers were disgusting, and required at least an hour each with
open windows and strong smelling cleaners and various scrubbing
devices. Basically, you’ve got to get all the mould off the surfaces
and off the grout, and break through the soap scum. If it’s a heavy
duty job, the serious cleaners are best sprayed on and left to soak for
a while before you start scrubbing. After each scrubbing session,
(not on the same day) I finished off by getting in there and having my
shower so I could rinse it all properly.

Once it’s reasonably clean though, all you have to do is spend 20


seconds (yes, only 20 seconds) each day while you’re in there,
wiping one section with a cleaning mitt or cloth. There’s cleaning
mitts you can get now that don’t need any cleaning solution.

Decide if you’ll go clockwise or anti-clockwise. (I mean the direction


of which walls you do, not the Karate Kid “wax on, wax off” thing.)
Start on the top of one wall. Next day do the bottom of that wall, next
day move clockwise to the top of the next wall and so on. Wipe the
soap holder on the day you come to it.

I still can’t resist a bit of Ajax on the shower floor though for the
weekly clean. I don’t like the idea of standing in bacteria, so whether
you use a commercial cleaner, or vinegar and baking soda, it doesn’t
matter, but do give the floor of the shower a good clean once a week.
Pull the hair bunnies out of the plug hole too. If it’s too yucky, use a
bit of toilet paper, a glove, or a crochet hook to grab it with.

Something I find a great help with cleaning the shower is to have a


hand shower on a hose that can be hooked onto the wall. It makes it
much easier rinsing into every corner after cleaning. They’re great for
washing children’s hair too.

One thing I never do when cleaning the shower, is drying it off. I just
can’t make any sense of this activity at all. Let it be wet, that’s my
view.

If you have a shower curtain, throw it through the washing machine


once a month, or splash out $2 for a new one. Mouldy shower

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curtains are yucky! If you have a glass door to the shower, wipe
inside the frame, especially at the bottom.

Bathtubs:
For the bath, I put some cleanser on a sponge and go straight for the
grimy ring. It comes off quite easily if done every week. Then I rinse
to check I got it all, and wipe the corners and edges to get rid of any
dust or hairs. If there are a lot of hairs and you get sick of rinsing
them out of the sponge, use damp paper towel to pick them up
instead.

Remove any hair from the plughole. Wipe the soap holder. Again, I
don’t see the point of drying it. If you use the bath daily yourself, you
may prefer to clean it daily while you’re there so it’s nicer for you. If
your shower is over the bathtub, definitely clean it daily, and you’ll
never have a ring.

The sink:
Take everything off the counter or edge of the sink (which is why I like
to keep as little as possible there) and wipe it down. Use an old
toothbrush around the taps, and some cleaning stuff inside the sink.
There shouldn’t be a build up of toothpaste, hair and whiskers and so
on in the sink if you have the habit of swishing a bit of water quickly
over it each time you use it. You do need to use a bit of cleaner for
the weekly clean though to get rid of build up.

If there’s a bar of soap, wipe under it to stop it building up. Give the
mirrors a clean with some window cleaner and paper towel. The
paper towel and window cleaner are handy for a very quick daily wipe
too, to keep it looking nice all the time. Change or wash the cup you
keep the toothbrushes in, and dust any bottles or containers which
are kept out.

A bottle of window cleaner and a roll of paper towel kept permanently


in the bathroom is very handy. In fact, keep a dedicated set of
whatever you like to use permanently in there. Just make sure it’s
out of the kids’ reach if you have them. I like to keep the following
items in the bathroom cupboard:

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Rubber gloves
Paper towel
Window cleaner
Disinfectant
Cleaning stuff (I’m still hooked on Ajax, but thinking of switching to
something more gentle)
Scrubbing brush (a small round one called ‘scrubby’ which gets into
corners really well)
Sponge
Shower cleaning mitt
Old toothbrush
Spare rubbish bags

If you need to carry bits and pieces to another room, say if your toilet
is in a separate room, it’s worth investing in one of those great plastic
caddies.

Always have a separate hand towel for people to use when they
wash their hands, so the bath towels are kept clean. It’s handy to
keep the spare hand towels in the bathroom if you have room.

Having a nice clean bathroom can be very comforting, and it’s nice to
have little extra things in there like a radio, some light reading and
maybe a plant if you like them.

Cleaning floors

Get the obvious dirt up, and give the whole floor a once over, but
don’t obsess about the skirting boards, corners, edges, cobwebs and
under furniture. That will get taken care of less often when you do
more detailed cleaning. If you see an obvious cobweb, do grab it
quickly, but don’t go searching in every little crevice for them.

If you have any carpeted areas, I hope you have a vacuum cleaner.
Even the really cheap ones these days have very good designs and
filters on them. A carpet sweeper is only good for getting crumbs and
obvious dirt off the top temporarily between cleans. If you don’t use a

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vacuum cleaner on carpets, fine dust will accumulate, and dust mites,
and it can make you ill.

If you’re going to vacuum, I find it easier to vacuum the hard floors as


well as carpets. Or if you prefer, sweep the hard floors. If you see
obvious dirt, go for it, but don’t fuss over every corner. Go over the
hard floor areas with a mop, but don’t obsess. It will get dirty again
and you will be doing it again next week. It’s the doing it every week
part that stops it ever getting too bad. If you have hard floor areas
that get really obviously filthy every day, you may need a quick daily
go in that area only.

If you hate having to find another electrical plug for the vacuum
cleaner a few times as you go around the house, get an extension
cord that stays permanently with the cleaner. Do a dry run around
the house and see if you can get it down to one or 2 plugs to cover
the whole house. You need to unravel the cord as far as it goes, put
the cleaning head somewhere on an outside wall of the house, and
follow the cord towards the centre of the house and see how far it
gets. Putting a little thought into this can make it much less of a
daunting prospect to get the vacuum cleaner out.

Don’t forget to empty the dust and clean the filter if it has one at the
end of each session. Another lovely little habit that makes things
easier for you.

There are all kinds of great new mop designs these days. There are
ones where you put the water in the mop and don’t need a bucket,
ones with throw away clothes on them, and ones with their own ringer
buckets. If you can treat yourself to a better mop set up, go for it.
The worst one would be the sponge that squeezes with a lever. If
you still have one of those, it’s time you had a look in the cleaning
section at the supermarket. You can do much better than that now.
The object is to get the job done as quickly and easily as possible.

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Quick floor clean

Just the visible dirt, as if your mother in law was on her way over.
You might want to use a carpet sweeper or swiffer rather than the
vacuum cleaner for this one, and just a damp mop, not the whole
bucket and cleaning solution routine.

How quickly can you do a quick floor clean? Do you not do them at
all because you think to clean the floor means you have to take 3
hours and get on your hands and knees and get into every corner?
Or is that just me?

I dare you to just try a quick one, as if someone you want to impress
is on their way over in 15 minutes. How quickly can you do it? If you
do these quick ones regularly, then it’s not so scary when you do
decide it’s time for a thorough one. Allow yourself to miss a bit, just
go for the dirt you can see.

As well as quick floor cleans, you might need quick specific cleans,
such as under the table or in the kitchen after meals. It’s much better
to do these quick ones, quickly and not perfectly, as required rather
than leaving it for when you clean the floor. You might just need a
dustpan and brush (or brush and shovel, or whatever you call it, you
know, the little hand broom with the pan to sweep the dirt into).

Liquid spills

You need a system for dealing with these in your home, and for
everyone to know what it is.

For a hard floor the best procedure is an absorbent sponge and a


container to squeeze the excess liquid into, or a mop and wringer
bucket. When all the excess liquid is up, you need to wipe with a
clean sponge or cloth or mop to rinse.

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If it’s carpet, towels or cloth nappies are the best thing, as well as a
big fat sponge. There are 3 steps.

1. Quickly soak up as much as you can. Put the folded towel or


nappy on the liquid and stand on it, soaking up as much as possible.
You may need more than one.

2. Rinse with clean water & a little disinfectant or wool wash, to make
sure you remove the spilled liquid so it won’t smell. Let some of the
clean liquid soak into the area, then soak it back up with the sponge
and repeat.

3. Blot again with clean towels to leave as dry as possible, standing


on it to absorb nearly all the remaining liquid out.

Make sure everyone knows what you use and where you keep the
designated floor towels. If the liquid was milk, vomit, urine or
anything like that, you really must rinse as well as absorb to make
sure there is no residual smell. It’s about smells as well as stains.

If it’s a smelly spill, finish by covering it in baking soda, then vacuum it


out when it’s dry. I got the vomit smell out of a seat cushion this way.

Ironing

What can you do to make it less awful? Yes, I know some people
like it, which is just weird, and some people are scared of it, and just
need half an hour with their mum or aunty or someone to teach them.
I’m really good at it but I hate it. I look for clothes that don’t need
ironing where possible, and try to fold things before they get wrinkled.
Don’t iron what doesn’t need ironing.

Try to set yourself up with some music or something to make it less


unpleasant. Rather than the little water jug that comes with the iron,
keep a plastic soft drink bottle for refilling the iron so you make less
trips to the tap, and a water spray bottle for damping your ironing.

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Check for stains or missing buttons before you iron, because you
don’t want to waste your time ironing a shirt and find it needs to be
washed again or have a button sewn on or it’s torn.

I’m currently working on refraining from doing it at all, and I’ve gotten
away with it for several months now. Hang up shirts on a hanger
straight from the washing machine. Yes, they look a little wrinkly, but
when you put them on it’s not really very noticeable. It depends on
your style of clothing of course, but do consider weaning yourself off
it. I’m told it’s actually more fashionable these days not to be
perfectly ironed.

Rubbish/garbage bins

Take them out the night before collection. Don’t forget the recycling.

Bring bins in

I cannot think of a single thing to say about this. It’s just not too hard
really. If you feel inclined to you can give them a clean once in a
while. Try to store them neatly, out of sight, and where you can
access them easily from the kitchen where you carry most of the
rubbish from. Oh, I did find a couple of things to say.

Cleaning out the fridge

A stinky, dirty fridge is just as revolting as having a dirty toilet. I


know how long it takes to clean a neglected one because I’ve done it
many times. To clean out a fridge fully takes over an hour if you have
to pull out every item and wash the whole thing and all the shelves,
but if you just clean it for 5 to 15 minutes once a week, wherever the
dirtiest bits are, it should never get too bad. Don’t forget to wipe the
bottle sections in the door. If the bottle sections get really dirty, lining
them with paper towel might save you some time.

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While you’re in there you can toss out anything that’s no good any
more, and check what you have on hand for your meal plan. That’s
why I recommend scheduling this for just before you do your meal
plan and shopping list for the week.

If you have a freezer that needs defrosting, this is the best time to do
it, while there’s the least amount of food in there. If you do it weekly,
it will be quick and easy, your fridge will run better, use less
electricity, and keep your food better. And you’ll have more room in
the freezer.

Don’t forget to dust the top of the fridge. If you’re sick of dusting it,
you might prefer to put a suitably sized cloth on it which can be
thrown in the washing.

Meal planning

A lot of people find they have trouble because they get paid monthly
or fortnightly, but they seem to need to go out for groceries 2 or even
3 times a week. This problem can be fixed by planning your meals.
Planning your meals is the first thing to do, so that you can make a
sensible shopping list.

You can plan your meals even to the extent of deciding which of your
meals for the coming week you will have on which days. It’s the
same principle as getting your clothes ready the night before, and the
idea is to free yourself up from having to make decisions. You make
the decision once, and don’t have to worry about it again for a week.

Meals which require more preparation are allocated to days when you
have more time available, and quick and easy meals or ones where
much of the preparation can be done ahead of time are planned for
the days when you’re pushed for time.

This really is essential. I know, you artistic types who want to make
spontaneous creations in the kitchen won’t like it, but as I’ve said, you

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don’t have to look at it that way. Being organized is to free you from
stress, free you up to be more creative.

Plan your meals. It might not always go to plan, and it doesn’t hurt to
have some back up emergency food on hand, but do plan the meals.
Have a master list of favourite meals and get the family involved in
writing it, rating the meals and adding to the list as new ideas come
up.

For favourite meals you’re happy to eat every week, why not give
them their own day. You could change them seasonally, or when
you’re sick of them of course, but if you’re going to eat Bolognese
every week anyway, why not decide which day. You could have set
types of meals for each day of the week and make minor variations.
For example pasta on Monday, stir fry on Tuesday, fish on
Wednesday, chicken on Thursday, etc.

Did you just read that bit and say to yourself, “boring”, or “that’s too
hard” or “that’s just not necessary”? How did your meals go this past
week? Was there much stress or unplanned buying of takeaways or
unplanned trips to the shops for extra food? Planning your meals for
the week will, absolutely, I assure you, make your week go a whole
lot more smoothly and cut out a great deal of stress. Just try it.

But you need to be creative and spontaneous? Fine, pick what day
you’re going to do that on. Perhaps Friday or Saturday night is when
you try a new recipe. If you do tend to cook the same things all the
time, that would be a great new habit to get into.

If you like to cut out recipes from magazines, or print them off the
internet, keep them in a folder. Plastic pockets are very handy to put
them in, and limit how many go into the folder. Chuck out the one
that keeps getting put to the back when you add a new one. If you try
it and it becomes a favourite, move the page to your ‘favourite
recipes’ folder. So that’s 2 recipe folders, one for tried and true
favourites, and one for new things you’d like to try.

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If you find it hard, as I do, to fully complete your meal plan because
you doubt your choices, remember this: If something doesn’t work
out, you get another crack at it next week, and the week after.

Start by assessing how your meals went for the previous week. What
worked and what didn’t? Look at your master list of favourites for
inspiration, and look at what you have on hand that needs using up.

Making your shopping list

So in order to write your shopping list, you need a meal plan for the
week, and a checklist of everything you need to keep on hand in your
house. It’s worth writing a checklist of things you use regularly, both
to help you write your list and also to keep a record of your best
prices.

If you fill in some prices from the receipt after each shopping trip
you’ll soon have them all filled in. This allows you to work out how
much you expect to spend on your list before you even walk out the
door, and if you see something on special you can check what price
you normally pay to see if it really is a bargain or not.

Write your shopping list carefully and thoroughly, using your checklist
and your meal plan. Yes, you can always just walk around the house
looking in cupboards, but then have a quick scan through your
checklist and you might find something you’ve missed.

The idea is to avoid extra trips to the shop because you’ve forgotten
something. It wastes time and you tend to buy things you didn’t plan,
which stuffs up your budget. Don’t forget things like batteries,
envelopes, light bulbs etc.

The more thorough your list, the easier your shopping trip and the
easier it is to stick to your budget. If the shopping budget is an issue,
try estimating the cost of your list before you go, and see if you need
to take anything off. It’s much less stressful to do this before you
leave.

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Grocery shopping

Eat before you go, and take a bottle of water with you if you tend to
get thirsty and want to avoid buying a soft drink. Going into a
supermarket hungry is just asking to come out with all sorts of snack
food you don’t need. Wear comfy shoes and take something warm to
put on if you get cold walking up the freezer aisle.

Remember to take any letters that need posting and write down any
errands you want to do while you’re out, like going to the post office.
Don’t forget your reusable shopping bags if you have them, or your
unwanted plastic bags to take for recycling.

If you have to take small children with you, bring some emergency
child occupying measures, like a toy or a snack if you need to distract
them when they get a bit grouchy.

A calculator is a good thing to have on you for checking the price per
litre or kg, (or gallon or lb) unless you’re one of those amazing people
that can do it in their head. And above all, take your well prepared
list. If you need to go to a few different shops, plan what order you
want to do them in.

Putting shopping away

Part of the job of doing the shopping is putting it away when you get
home. Fully putting it away. This is a very good habit to get into and
will help keep your kitchen uncluttered.

It’s easy to keep leaving out one or two things because you’re about
to use them anyway, but unless you’re preparing a meal right now
with that thing, put it away. If there’s nowhere to put it because your
kitchen is too clogged up with stuff, we’ll fix that soon.

The more effort you spend putting the groceries away really nicely,
the nicer it will be this week as you prepare each meal.

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If you have meat, especially if you bought bulk because it was a good
price, batch it up before you freeze it. Work out a guideline such as
200g per person and use scales, and you’ll have the exact amount
needed for each meal.

If you ever feel overwhelmed with the amount of stuff to put away,
and it just seems too hard, just put away one thing. Go for the
seemingly hardest thing to put away. Maybe the problem is you just
don’t know where to put it and that is stopping you getting on with the
rest, causing a blockage in your mind. Give it 20 seconds or so of
thinking and it might solve itself. If not, put something else away
that’s easier. Then see how you feel and see if you can talk yourself
into putting away one more thing. Maybe you’ll get on a roll then and
get it done, or maybe you won’t, but that will be one or two things less
to put away, and you might put away one more thing next time you
walk past.

If you’ve been shopping for things other than groceries, they need
putting away too. If you’ve bought clothes, you need to check that
they’re ok, then remove the tags and hang them up or put them in the
drawer. And with clothes, it’s good to get rid of something each time
you get something new. That way your wardrobes and drawers won’t
become over stuffed.

If you’ve bought household items, hopefully you thought about where


they would go before you bought them, and you know where they’re
going to go. Take the time to fully put everything away.

Throw away the packaging if you’re not keeping the item in it. If it has
a warranty card and instruction book, staple them together with the
receipt and file them. I’ll tell you where later.

At the end of it, put the bags in their correct place. Plastic bags that
you’re going to use in their designated place. Ones for recycling in
their designated place. Re-usable shopping bags back in the car or
in their designated place. Any receipts that need recording or
keeping go to the appropriate folder on your desk.

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Recording your spending

Not everyone will bother with this, but if you’re on a budget I highly
recommend recording all your spending, preferably on a simple
bookkeeping programme on the computer. A cheap exercise book
will do even. As you add up each week’s spending, try to put it into
categories such as rent, utilities, transport, insurances, entertainment,
groceries and so on.

Knowing where it’s going over a period of time is very valuable


information. Don’t waste time and get bogged down trying to make it
pretty and perfect. Keep in mind what you want out of it, which is
simply to have a more accurate idea of what your spending patterns
are.

If you run a home office or use the same accounts for home and
business, you really need to record your spending for tax reasons. If
you picked up printer cartridges and other stationary at the
supermarket, you need to split it when you record your grocery
spending, and possibly file the receipt if your tax department requires
that. More on filing in the next section.

Bills and paperwork

Start by just getting it all in one place.


If there’s some in the car, in
your bag, in your briefcase, in your backpack, in a drawer in the
hallway and the kitchen, some on your desk, some under
newspapers in the lounge room, gather them all up and put them on
your desk.

If it seems too hard to do even this, just go to one place where you
know you’ve got some paperwork and get it and bring it to your desk.
If you don’t have a desk, you’ll need something portable to store it in
that you can take to the dining table or wherever you work, and pack
up and put away again. Just gathering it and putting it all in one
place is not going to hurt, really.

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Next, make sure you’ve got a supply of manila folders. The best
place to do your bills and paperwork is usually your desk, where your
computer is, and hopefully you’ve got a filing cabinet or at least a box
to put your folders in.

You might be pretty on top of this and just need to fine tune it, or you
might be a bit out of control. In any case, behold the power of the
folder, and a waste paper basket is pretty good to have too. If you
can get some coloured manila folders, that can be really handy for
the commonly used ones. Plain is fine for stuff that’s just filed away.
For your filing, consider ring binders for some things if you need to
regularly refer to them or it’s a folder that might get too fat.

If your desk looks scary, and believe me I know it can get that way in
under an hour, do not be afraid. Take all the loose papers and stack
them up and put them in a folder. That’s better, you can’t see them.
Phew.

Now spend 5 minutes tidying your desk. Make it as nice as you can,
maybe get a drink and put some music on. Now get some empty
folders and write on them, choosing different colours for the most
frequently used ones. The main ones you’ll probably need are:

• Bills and budget – where you put any bills you receive that have
not been paid yet. As you have a computer and internet access
(I know because you bought this book) consider getting your
bills by email and having direct debits set up for most of them.

• School notices – if you’re inundated with them like I am, you


need to at the very least, have one place only where they go. If
one folder isn’t enough, categorise further, but don’t let the
folder be a way of avoiding attending to the notices. If it needs
signing, filling in and paying for, or writing on your calendar, do
it now so you don’t forget.

• Filing – not to be left in here forever, just til your once a week or
daily, depending how much there is, filing session.

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• Needs attending to – things to be done. Think of it in terms of
completing one item at least as often as you add a new one.

• Pending – this is not filing for stuff you’re putting off, it’s things
you’re waiting for before you can take further action. If it has a
deadline, diary it.

• Urgent, essential to be done. Self explanatory.

Go through your unsorted pile and get it all into folders. As you do
this, if you come across anything that has a deadline, write it in your
calendar or diary before you put it in the folder. When you have done
this, you will feel your shoulders soften and a calm breeze will soothe
you.

You might like to keep all the folders away with your other filing, but
at the front, or you might like to keep them in your top drawer or right
on you desk in a document tray (so they don’t slide around and slip
off).

If you’ve got work or study stuff going on as well, folder all that up too,
and schedule separate time for it. This section is just about your
personal and household paperwork and desk stuff

The sorts of things that have to be kept up with here are:

• Bills, banking and budget


• Personal taxation
• School notices
• Insurances: car, home & contents, health, life
• Superannuation
• Keeping your computer updated, tidy & backed up
• Emails & phone calls (other than social)
• Correspondence, forms that need completing and so on
• Invitations

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Separate different activities.

Perhaps you work from home like me, or you have work that you
bring home, or you belong to a committee or club and have
paperwork or administrative work attached to that, or you have
personal projects going on, or you are very involved in your child’s
school, and some of these tasks are getting lumped in and muddled
up with your general home administration.

You need to separate them and allocate time for each, and put a time
limit on them. Tasks get forgotten and build up if you haven’t actually
acknowledged to yourself that time needs to be allocated for them.
Too many things lumped together can be overwhelming too, so break
it up and really think about the best time to do them, and how long is
a reasonable length of time to allocate – not too much all in one go,
especially if it’s boring.

Dealing with mail

When you open your mail each day, and you must open it, and when
you get notices from your child’s school, attend to whatever it is on
the spot. That is read it, then either throw it away, file it in the right
place, even if that’s the ‘needs attending to’ folder, or attend to it if it’s
convenient.

Attending to it might mean writing it in your calendar straight away, or


making a decision whether you or your child are going to attend some
event, and filling in the form or RSVP. If you’re filing it to be attended
to at another time, write the deadline in your calendar or diary first.

Note that it’s often the decision making component of things here that
makes us put them off. Try to recognize when that is happening and
look at what your feelings are about it. Do you feel sometimes that
you want to say no to some things but you feel guilty about it?

It’s ok to say no, you can’t do everything. You don’t have to ‘lose’ the
piece of paper to avoid making the decision. You don’t have to get
angry at anyone in order to say no either. Just decide in your own
mind whether you’re happy with your reason.

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Dealing with paperwork as it comes up is another habit to be
developed. If you don’t do it one day, it’s not the end of the world,
just try again tomorrow.

When you do sit down for your ‘desk time’ keep in mind what your
purpose is. The hour or so a week you’ve scheduled for this is not for
emailing friends, surfing the net and so on. Give yourself time to do
that, but not while you’re doing your paperwork. Stick to your
purpose, just for the allocated time.

If it’s built up to more than you can get done in the allocated time, just
do the allocated time and tackle the most important things first. You
can reduce the thickness of the folders gradually. Keep in mind that
you don’t want to double handle things if possible, and you don’t want
to file things that you don’t need. Make good use of the waste paper
basket.

As you get caught up, you should find you can do things in more
detail, such as checking what you’re paying for your insurances once
every year or two to see if you’re getting the best price, rolling over
odd bits of superannuation into the best performing fund, getting your
computer more organized (wow, practically a whole book on that one
I think), tidying up your filing and getting rid of what you no longer
need, things like that.

The bills, budget and banking part is one of the most important, and a
subject all on it’s own too. Make your bill paying as easy as possible,
and consider automating it. If you don’t use online banking already,
do give it a go, it’s great.

Budgeting

Budgeting may sound like something that’s complicated and difficult,


but the basic things are that you need to know what’s coming in and
what’s going out. That allows you to plan. You can’t make decisions
about how to manage your money if you don’t know what your
expenses are. Don’t be scared of having a budget. They’re for

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everybody. It’s you’re money, and you need the information about
what you’re spending so you can make informed decisions and
choices.

To know what’s going out, you list every bill you can think of and
check back what you’ve been paying for the last year and average it
out. This is easy enough with your electricity bill, but not so easy for
groceries and incidentals, which is why it’s a good idea to record your
spending.

You need to know when each bill is due and how much you expect it
to be. For the whole year ahead! If you’re having trouble
remembering what they all are, check through your bank statements,
credit card statements, cheque book, or the pile of receipts and bills
you’re about to sort out to make sure you haven’t missed any. Refer
to Handy Checklists for Your Home for a list of common bills.

If your income fluctuates, you need to average it out and do your best
to estimate it forward. Be honest and truthful, just the facts, not
wishful thinking. Any increase will be a bonus.

Without buying any software for budgeting, you can use an excel
spreadsheet or even just a big notepad to plan. Write all your
sources of income and all the bills down the left hand side, down to
every detail like coffees, clothing, gifts, subscriptions, postage, then
make columns for weekly, fortnightly, monthly, quarterly, half yearly
and yearly. Fill them in for however often those expenses come up.

Whichever column your income mainly falls into, i.e. weekly,


fortnightly or monthly, work out that amount for each of the bills as
well. So if you get paid monthly, work out your monthly spending on
each expense.

This exercise gives you a record to refer back to and allows you to
add up the columns to see if you’re in the black or whether you’re
spending more than you can. You need to remember to keep it
updated when information changes.

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If you don’t have a budgeting system and you’re struggling to keep
track of your bills, one of the easiest things to do is get some lined
paper, A4 or foolscap, and put a date range on the top of each page
for your pay period, i.e. weekly, fortnightly or monthly.

Down the left write everything that has to be paid before the next
payday, with the date due and how much you expect it to be. Use the
bills list you’ve already made as a checklist to make sure you’ve got
them all.

Then write your payday and how much you’ll be getting on the right,
and under it add any other expected bits of income, and how much
you’ve got in cash & in the bank.

Add up the 2 sides and see if the difference is plus or minus. Do this
page by page up to 6 months or so in advance. You might find an
excess this month and a shortfall next month, so you’ll know to hold
off buying something because you need to pay that bill. You’ll have a
very accurate picture of where you stand this way, and it’s free and
simple. Refer to it every week when you sit down to do your bills and
paperwork, and fine tune it a bit. You need never miss a payment on
anything again.

Your regular chore for keeping up with your budget is to balance


everything. That means your cheque book if you use one, and
knowing the correct balance of all your accounts, taking into account
any cheques written or transactions not yet cleared. Whether you
use software like Quicken or Money or MYOB or a piece of paper it
doesn’t matter, but you need to have your balances kept up to date.
You don’t want to be accidentally overdrawing your accounts.

Each week when you check your bills and budget, pay any bills which
need to be paid before the next session (and of course further ahead
than that if you like). If you find an overdue bill, if it’s likely to cause
any problems, ring the company immediately, letting them know that
you’re paying it now, or asking to make an arrangement with them if
you need to. It may not be a pleasant task, but it may save you
having something cut off, paying extra fees or damaging your credit

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record. Keep your unpaid bills in date order of when they need to be
paid, with the ones due soonest on top.

Worries about money can be eliminated, simply by facing up to what


your situation really is and planning a budget around it. If you have
debts, simply work out what you can afford to pay, and commit to that
plan, then forget about it.

Automating your bill paying can take a lot of worries away, especially
with debt reduction. If you have all the money you need to cover your
bills transferred to the appropriate account on a regular basis,
automatically, and the bills paid automatically, it’s easier to stick to
your budget with spending the amount that’s left.

Lawns & gardening

Lawns need doing every 2 weeks sometimes, and much less often
in the winter. (Or not at all if you get snow, but I’m sure that must
involve other tasks like clearing paths.) But there’s other stuff to do
out there too, like raking leaves, sweeping paths, pruning and
weeding. So do those other things on the weeks when the lawns
don’t need mowing. In other words, try to keep to the same routine of
spending time on it, but spread the work out evenly. When you’ve
done it, write down in your calendar if you need petrol for your mower
or other supplies.

If a gardener does it for you, write in your calendar the dates


scheduled, details of how you will be paying, and anything you need
to let them know.

Feeding and maintaining your car.

Fill the tank, and check the oil and water while you’re doing it, at
whatever intervals you need to. If you don’t need to check the fluids
as often as you fill the tank, write it in your diary or calendar so you’ll

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remember. You’ll have plenty of time to do this now that you have a
planned time to fill your tank. Check the tyre pressures once in a
while too, and you might want to clean the windscreen and get any
rubbish out of the car. Do you know when your next service is due
and the condition of your tyres? Use your calendar to record these
things and allow for them in your budget.

I find washing the car much easier to do at those drive-in car washes
that are everywhere now. Where I live we have water restrictions at
the moment, so they’re the only place you’re allowed to wash your
car anyway, as the water is recycled. If you have a nice car and don’t
want to use the brush on it, just keep a sponge in the boot. As well
as washing the outside, you vacuum it, and also wipe down the
surfaces like the dashboard and so on with a damp cloth. Some
window cleaning on the inside of the windows is needed too, and a
few drops of essential oil will freshen up the smell.

To stop clutter and rubbish building up in your car, simply develop the
habit of always emptying it of any rubbish and anything that doesn’t
belong there after each trip. If you’re sick of the food debris, don’t
allowing eating in the car.

Keeping a clean, well organized, well maintained car can be a big


improvement to your lifestyle if you use it often.

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Chapter 6

Step 3: De-cluttering, organizing storage & detailed


cleaning

This part involves getting things done in more detail; towards the
goal of your house looking like it’s just been spring cleaned and had a
team of expert professional organizers complete a thorough
demonstration of their service there.

Sounds way scary, but this is one of the most fun and easy parts.
Now why have I lumped all this in together? Surely there are 3
separate things here. It’s making it a very long chapter! Well, it’s
because you’re going to schedule regular time for doing these things
into your routine, and you’re only going to work on it at those times.
You can’t clean until things are organized and tidy, and you can’t
organize and tidy until you’ve gotten rid of your junk.

It gets done gradually. It’s not a task to be completed that will one
day be finished. It’s a habit that you keep permanently and grow to
love. You will eventually get to the point where everything is just how
you want it all the time and stays that way very easily.

Schedule regular sessions for this activity

The first thing to do for this step is to allocate time for it into your
routine. An hour or two a week is all you need, and it will work better
if you just do 15 minutes at a time if it’s difficult, no more than an hour
if you’re getting into it. So as a minimum, 15 minutes 4 days a week,
as a maximum, 1 hour 5 days a week.

Decide when is the best time for you to fit that in, and write it in your
schedule as ‘detailing’ or ‘room rotation’ or ‘de-cluttering’ or whatever
you want to call it. Write it in your diary or calendar for the week
ahead.

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This chapter is really long, because I’ve tried to offer lots of practical
suggestions and be very specific. But the only thing you have to do is
spend the time you have allocated in your schedule. That’s all. If you
do that, you’ll get a fantastic result.

The room rotation system

The next thing to do is define the areas of your home and make your
own rotation system. You want to be coming back to where you
started after about 4 or 5 weeks, so that when you get to the detailed
cleaning stage, there’s no longer than that for dust and cobwebs to
build up between cleans.

It doesn’t matter where you start or what order you do them in, but
whatever order you choose, you continue with. You work on one
area each week until you come back to the beginning and start the
cycle again. To begin with, you may not finish an area within the
week. That’s to be expected, depending how much junk there is to
clear. Just leave it and go to the next area anyway, and you’ll get a
break from this one for a bit.

List all the areas to be covered, then put them into 4 or 5 groups,
taking your best guess at making an even division of the amount of
time required. For example:

Week 1 Bedrooms and bathrooms


Week 2 Living and dining areas
Week 3 Kitchen, laundry
Week 4 Study/home office & hall closets
Week 5 Garage & exterior

Some areas will be done more quickly than you think, others more
slowly. It doesn’t matter at all, and you can adjust it as you go.

All you have to do it stick to the time allocation, that’s all!

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It may take you quite a few cycles to get to the stage where you’re
ready to do the detailed cleaning. That doesn’t matter. What matters
is that you include this in your schedule, in suitable blocks of time,
and stick with the habit of spending the allocated time on it.

In the room by room discussion, I’ve listed the rooms as kitchen,


laundry, hall cupboards and linen cupboards, bathrooms, master
bedrooms, children’s bedrooms, lounge, living and family rooms,
dining rooms, study and garage.

Toys are discussed under children’s bedrooms, any paperwork is


discussed under study, books and hobbies are discussed under
lounge room and so on, even though you might not necessarily keep
these items in these rooms.

De-cluttering – how to get rid of your junk

What to actually do? Start by de-cluttering. This involves decision


making, which is why it’s so hard. Everything that’s in the room is
one of these things:

- Something you currently need and use, which is the best one.
- Rubbish, garbage, trash.
- Items you think at first are too good to throw away, that they will
be useful to you or someone else, but that when you think
about it properly, are not even any good for the charity shop.
- Something useful but you have no need for it.
- Something you have more than one of, and this is excess to
your needs.
- Purely decorative or sentimental and you or someone in your
household enjoys it.

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- Purely decorative or sentimental but makes you feel guilty or
worried or stressed, or that you just hate.
- Belongs in another room or doesn’t work in this room but you
have a better place for it.
- An unfinished project or something you were going to get fixed,
but you really don’t want to any more and seeing it just makes
you feel bad.
- An unfinished project or something you were going to get fixed,
that you still really want to get sorted out and you’re sure it will
bring you pleasure and you’re not just keeping it because you
feel guilty.

As you look at each object you pick up in the session, and think about
the categories listed above, you’ll find that the decision you need to
make about each object is which of these three things it is:

- Throw away
- Sell or give away
- Put away

If you arm yourself with 3 boxes or bags, depending on what type of


stuff you’re sorting through, you’ll have everything you need for this
decision making process.

When you’ve finished you can then sort the rubbish into which bin it
goes into, divide up the give away stuff into separate lots, for example
a bag for the charity bin, a box for the school art room, a box for
saleable items, and put away anything from the put away box which
has a home.

If it’s to put away but doesn’t have a home, you can leave it in the box
for now or decide on a home for it if you are able to do that quickly.

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It’s a good idea to make a designated place to put your boxes or bags
which are ‘work in progress’ or which have been emptied and are
ready to use again, so it’s easy to get started again at the next
session.

Don’t try to do too much at once. If you’re enjoying it there’s no


reason you can’t keep going a little bit longer than your allocated
time, but avoid getting caught up in it and spending hours, because
that will put you off starting the process again tomorrow and building
up your habit of doing it regularly.

Just work at it for the time you’ve allocated then stop. It can be very
difficult to get yourself to stop if you feel you’re getting somewhere,
but it’s better in the long run that you do, and that you come back to it
at the next allocated time.

Stopping is the key to this approach being successful. Don’t think of


your goal as getting this room sorted out. Think of your goal as
establishing the habit of working on this approach consistently at the
time you’ve allocated for it.

When you stop, leave yourself time at the end to put the give away
stuff in the car or ready to take out, put the rubbish where it goes, and
put away any items you know the home of. A proper pack up and
finish is important to mark the end of the activity.

First, get rid of rubbish. Start with obvious rubbish like empty
packaging, apple cores, contents of actual rubbish bins, old
magazines and newspapers etc.

Some people have trouble even with this part. I know someone who
ended up with a stack of newspapers a year old she wouldn’t throw
away because they had things she meant to read and hadn’t got
around to reading yet.

Someone else I know (me) had the same problem with packaging,
keeping everything to be re-used – bubble wrap, tissue paper, useful
looking boxes. What’s the good of a box full of bubble wrap and
tissue paper if you rarely have to send a package though?

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If you will actually use it, get a box to keep it in that’s size appropriate
to your actual needs, and throw out anything that doesn’t fit in that
box. I’m all for recycling wrapping paper and so on, but building up
an ever growing pile of it is not going to achieve anything but a big
pile of old wrapping paper.

If you think your child’s school can use the magazines to cut out
pictures from, or empty ice-cream containers and so on in the art
room, check with the school what they do actually need and set aside
one small box and set aside a time in your schedule to take it to
them.

If you’re not going to do this, then chuck it all out. If you don’t actually
need it, and you don’t know someone else who needs it who you will
actually take it to this week, it’s rubbish.

Do put the recyclable rubbish in the recycle bin, but don’t keep it all.
There are only so many containers you need before they just clutter
up your cupboards.

If you haven’t read something before the next issue comes out, you’re
not going to, so let it go.

A lot of people hoard things because they or their parents have been
through World War 2 or the depression or just poverty, and learned to
never waste anything. It can be very difficult to turn this thinking
around. Lots of things are useful.

But you don’t need more useful things than you are likely to use in
your lifetime. If you can’t find a person or organization who really
needs and has a use for the things you don’t need, it’s time to let
them go, to the rubbish bin. No matter how pretty that fabric off cut
is, what good condition that spare bit of rope is in, how many rubber
bands you have.

It’s all about releasing things, and releasing the uptight and anxious
feelings with them. Will something bad happen if you let it go?
Really?

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One bad thing that can happen sometimes, is that you’ve had a nut or
a bolt or a bit of something hanging around for ages and you don’t
know where it came from, but it looks important. It’s ok to have one
jar or small box or container for these things. Limit the size of the
container, and have one place only for these thingies. As you get
your home sorted out, you may find where they go. If they’re still
there after a year, then chuck them out. If you then find where they
came from, it can’t have been that important if you didn’t miss it for a
year!

Is there stuff that at first you think it’s too good to throw away, but if
you really think about it, it can’t be fixed and isn’t even good enough
for the charity shop? If you’re unsure and it’s worrying you, why not
speak to someone at a charity and ask them what things are useful
and what things just cost them money to get rid of. That’s right;
charities actually lose money having to get rid of un-useable rubbish
people have donated.

If there’s a lot of stuff that’s rubbish but too much for your bin, put it in
boxes or bin bags and stow it somewhere like the garage until either
the council has a hard rubbish collection or you have enough to fill a
small skip (dumpster). You can get an extra rubbish bin from a
private company temporarily until you stop having extra rubbish.

Next, look for things you don’t want to keep but are too good to throw
away. You may be thinking of selling it or giving it away, it doesn’t
matter for now. Just get a box and throw it all in there.

If anything you’re giving away has an instruction book or extra parts,


don’t forget to put them in the box too.

If you have more than one of something and you only need one, just
keep the best one. If it’s a gift or an ‘heirloom’ but you don’t like it,
put it in the box. There is no obligation for you to keep things you
don’t like. People tend to forget what gifts they’ve given anyway.

Have you ever given something as a gift, that seemed like a good
idea at the time but you realized later you wouldn’t like yourself?
Things go out of fashion, your taste changes, things become

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obsolete, you might have been given a better one, you might not
have anywhere to put it, it might have gotten accidentally broken etc.
You shouldn’t need to feel guilty about not wanting something. Not
keeping a vase you really dislike doesn’t mean you didn’t love your
Nanna, even though it may have been her favourite vase.

Do you have things you’re keeping because you bought it but it was a
mistake? Do you feel bad about how much money it cost? Well, all
it’s doing now is annoying you and reminding you of your mistake,
and keeping it isn’t at all helpful. Let it go.

You don’t have to let everything go all at once if there’s a lot of it and
you’re finding it really hard. Grab as much as you can in this session,
and have another crack at it next time. Making constant small dents
in it will add up over time and make a big difference.

How does the thing make you feel? Do you keep thinking you should
find a use for it but haven’t? Just because the thing is good and
useful, doesn’t mean it’s any use to you. Avoid the trap of thinking
you might need it in the future too, unless you’re sure you will, like
some children’s items you’ll use for the next child. Generally, if you
don’t need it now, by the time you do need it, you’ll deserve a new
one.

This is particularly true of clothes. Don’t keep clothes because you


want to fit back into them one day. If you haven’t worn it for a year,
then if you are that size again, it will be out of fashion anyway and
you’ll deserve a new one.

Once you’ve gathered all these unwanted items, and there will always
be new ones being found, do you sell them or give them away?
Other than the occasional valuable item that you know will bring in
some money and be worth the trouble of selling, I recommend just
giving the lot away.

I’ve tried garage sales and find they’re not worth the trouble. Dealers
will knock on your door before the start time and talk you into selling
most of the good stuff as a job lot, and you’ll spend the rest of the
time wasting your precious weekend for a pittance. It might be easier

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just to ring a dealer and let them come and give you a price for your
lot of items. There are often ads in the local paper for people who will
pay money for job lots of furniture, books, collections, tools,
appliances and so on.

EBay items need posting or waiting for collection and so on. Ask
yourself if it’s really worth it. How valuable is your time? The idea of
this whole organization thing is to make good use of your time. Think
about how much money you might realistically get for this unwanted
stuff. Now how much of your precious time will it take to sell it?

If you give it away, you’re helping others and saving yourself a lot of
hassle. If it’s going to the charity bin, put it in the car now so you can
drop it off next time you’re out. Sometimes the charity may come and
pick it up for you, especially if it’s furniture. Give them a ring and find
out.

Some people really want to keep things to give to people they know,
preferring this to giving it to a charity to be useful to somebody they
don’t know. This is where you need to get realistic.

If you really think someone might find something useful, ring them
and ask them, and give them a chance to say no. If it’s been hanging
around for a while, do you think that might be because it’s really not
any use to anyone you know? It’s ok for things to be given away
outside the family.

If the memories attached to something are making it hard to let it go,


just take a picture of it. And remember that the memories will still be
there without the object. If the object is not useful to you or you’re not
enjoying it, let it go. Just because you may have enjoyed it in the
past, doesn’t mean it’s going to give you any enjoyment now or in the
future.

Have you ever walked through a display home in a new housing


estate? Some of the new home designs now are really lovely, and
the way they’re so tastefully and carefully furnished shows them off
beautifully. Now what if you took all the stuff in your home now and
put it in one of those lovely display homes. Would it look awful?

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Or you might prefer to imagine a period home you’ve seen in a
decorating magazine. How would it look if you lived there?

What if your house and all it’s contents was destroyed and you had to
start again? Would you choose to have all the same stuff you have
now? Would you want as much stuff as you have now?

Or would you enjoy the fact that you were free now to have a more
minimalist lifestyle? Well, you’re free now, in your current home, to
have whatever you want there and live however you like. If there’s
clutter that’s sucking the life out of you, start now and let some of it
go.

Avoiding adding to your clutter

If you have a tendency to shop pointlessly buying small items of, let’s
face it, clutter, because it soothes you, have a look at this habit and
whether you can change it to work better for you. If money is not the
issue, just the junk, then look for things to shop for which don’t cause
clutter, like fresh flowers, music, movies, exotic food, massages,
concert tickets and so on. Go to the movies or out to lunch instead,
or to a museum or art gallery or a class or the library. See what other
fun things you can find to do at the mall. Get your hair or nails done.

When you do bring something new into your home, see if you can let
something else go to even it out. Remember, reducing clutter and
simplifying is an ongoing process. It’s a habit you can develop.

If you have friends or family who continue to give you their hand me
downs or cast offs after you’ve stopped needing them, learn to say no
thanks. It may have started off well; you just moved out on your own
and were happy to accept bits and pieces from others to get you
started. But sometimes this becomes a habit and lasts long past the
need for any assistance in setting yourself up.

When you see fabulous things in the shops that you just have to
have, ask them if they can hold it for you while you go have a coffee,
cool off and think. Do you know where it will go, what you will use it
for, how you will maintain it, wash it etc? Does it look really nice in

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the shop window but really will look silly in your house? If you love it,
have a place to put it, and it’s useful, great. If not, there is no point in
buying it just because it’s fabulous.

De-cluttering and junk clearing, room by room

Kitchen

Do you have too much stuff that’s kept for ‘best’? What’s the point of
having beautiful things if you only use them a couple of times a year
or never? Reconsider what you use. Yes, things do get broken. But
you might take that bone china out only once a year to use and still
manage to break a piece. Should it be in a museum? I use the best
china now for my family (members older than 2) to eat on every day.

There might be some items you like but don’t use, which you can find
a new use for. I have a lovely girly 3 tier cake stand that doesn’t fit in
my crystal cabinet. There is very little other display space in my
kitchen at the moment, and there would rarely be an occasion I would
have to use it for dainty little cakes. But it’s great next to the stove
top with ripening tomatoes and avocadoes, garlic, chillies and so on
that are commonly used. It also looks great with ripening fruit on it,
ripest on the top layer of course, even your fruit can be organized.

Look for things that haven’t been used much for a while, and see if
you can find a good use for it, or ask yourself whether it’s really worth
having. Remember, not useful to you but too good to throw away
means give it away and let it be useful to somebody else. Now.
Useful to you includes enjoying just looking at it though. Some items
may be just looking for a place to be displayed.

For things you have multiples of, such as drinking glasses, tea cups,
serving bowls and so on, imagine you’re having the biggest family
meal or party you’re ever likely to have, and exactly how many of
everything you’ll need. Don’t keep any more than this, and if there’s

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a lot and you only need it all occasionally, you could store some of it
out of the way until you need it.

For every day use, the more glasses you have in the cupboard, the
more there are to wash, and the more you have to shuffle things
around in the cupboard to fit them all in as you’re putting them away
and looking for things. Just keep the best ones.

Do you love all your gadgets? I love a gadget, but some just don’t
earn their keep or are too old. Some take longer to clean and put
away than if you just used a good knife. Make sure your gadgets are
earning their keep and paying for their kitchen real estate. Any that
aren’t, well, you know what to do with them.

I was undecided for ages about the asparagus cooker that seemed
like such a good thing. Long asparagus can be hard to fit into a
normal steamer or saucepan. But the tall skinny pot looked like it
would tip over easily with boiling water in it, so I let it go and I’ll just
have to bend my asparagus a bit.

I once fell for an onion chopper that looked, in theory, like a very
handy thing. It wasn’t. And it sat in the cupboard, in my way, for
much longer than it needed to before I faced up to it’s uselessness
and the wasted money, and threw it in the bin so as not to burden
anyone else with it’s uselessness.

Do you have too many cleaning products? Duplicated items? Think


about what you actually use. No amount of spray on stuff will work
without elbow grease anyway. You don’t have to keep that half full
bottle of stuff you haven’t touched for months and are not likely to.
It’s being just as wasteful sitting in your cupboard as it would be
sitting in the rubbish bin.

How much plastic ware should you have? If there’s tons of it falling
out of the cupboards, maybe you can use some to store dry goods in
your pantry or food cupboard. Imagine you’ve just had a big family
dinner with lots of leftovers. What containers would you need?

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Now if there’s any more than that, just keep the best and get rid of the
rest. Plastic ware works well in a deep drawer if you have them, so
it’s not always falling out; and you need to choose the right sizes.
Say if you’re storing Bolognese sauce for 4 people, and you want
about 200ml per person, a 1 litre container is perfect. For soup for 4
people, 2 litres. Square or rectangular ones are better for stacking in
the pantry, fridge or freezer. Clear is better so you can see what’s in
them.

Do you have too much stuff out on display on the countertops? You
need to be able to clean the bench tops easily and you need space to
work in. Less is more, as they say. A clean surface with one or two
shiny stylish items is better than a jumble of little bits and pieces,
however cute they may be. Not that it should look like a display
home with no personal touches, but the aesthetic benefits of an item
are diminished it they’re among a jumble of too much other stuff.

The top of the fridge can be a place that attracts clutter, and also the
window sill and the area near the phone and calendar. In fact there
are probably a few places in your kitchen like this, where pizza
menus, business cards, rubber bands, and many odd and interesting
bits and pieces seem to gather. If you keep them clear people will
eventually get the idea and stop putting things there.

Laundry/laundry room/utility room/basement

The laundry can end up being a dumping ground for miscellaneous


things that don’t have a home. If there’s stuff that doesn’t belong
there, is there a better place you can store it, or can you just get rid of
it? Don’t be hoarding an excessive amount of cleaning rags or
unused cleaning products. Get rid of empty containers you thought
would come in handy but haven’t. Get rid of excess broken washing
baskets, broken coat hangers, broken anything. Have a good look at
what’s there and be realistic about what actually gets used, and what
is just junk that has ended up there which you have no use for.
Remember, if it’s too good to throw away, give it away and let it be
useful to somebody else now.

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Bathroom

If you’ve decided you don’t like that shampoo and you’re not going to
use it, chuck it out or use it to clean the shower with. Get rid of
outdated medications and creams. Take stuff out of the room that
doesn’t belong there. Empty the rubbish. Get rid of anything broken
or duplicated.

Hallway cupboards, linen closets

Look for broken things that aren’t going to be fixed and any bits and
pieces which have been stored in here ‘temporarily’ as you no longer
need them.

Linens

The ideal amount of sheet sets is 3 per bed. One on the bed, one in
the wash and one spare. Two is Ok, but you might have the second
set in the laundry not washed yet and need a spare set. If you have
more than 3 per bed, just keep the best 3 and get rid of the rest. It is
handy to have spare mattress protectors too, because they can take
a while to dry.

With towels I like two or three per person, a couple of spares, enough
hand towels to change them daily, plenty of face washers (wash
cloths, flannels) and 2 bath mats per bathroom. If you have kids, it’s
great to have different coloured towels for each child or have their
name embroidered on them. That way there’s no question as to
whose is whose.

2 pillows per person and a couple of spares, 1 quilt per person and 1
or 2 spares, 1 light blanket or bedspread per person and a couple of
spares. 1 or 2 good picnic blankets (waterproof backing is great).
Not too many throw rugs. What are they for and how many do you
need? A couple of attractive ones which look nice draped over the
couch, for putting over your knees, and for kids to build cubbies with.

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2 or 3 good table cloths, the best ones (if you have more very
beautiful ones you can’t part with, I will understand, but get rid of the
torn ones). 2 sets of place mats, 1 or 2 sets of cloth napkins,
depending how often you use them and wash them.

If you have a lot of decorative linens you can’t find a use for at the
moment, just keep the most special ones that really give you
pleasure.

All sorts of other miscellaneous things end up in hallway cupboards,


like extension cords, spare appliances, vacuum cleaners and so on.
Just pick one item at a time and apply your decision making skills to
it. In the next section you’ll store it all neatly.

Master bedroom

This is another place that can easily end up as spare storage space.
You don’t want anything in here that doesn’t belong if you can help it.
If you’ve brought more and more stuff in here to get it out of sight,
there’s likely to be plenty amongst it you can just get rid of.

I do understand though, that if you have a lot of wardrobe space in


your room and not much cupboard space in the hallway or elsewhere
in your home, you might need to store useful but seldom used items
here like bike helmets, eskies, spare blankets, sewing baskets and so
on. As long as it’s genuinely stuff worth keeping, just try to get it out
of sight and away neatly.

If your clothes are in a mess and you don’t seem to have enough
storage, you probably have too many clothes. It’s better to have a
small selection of things that are comfortable, flattering, fit well and in
good condition, than loads of stuff that you’re just not going to wear.

There could be nice clothes in there that you’re not using because
they’re forgotten under all the rubbish. A chest of drawers and a
couple of metres of rod space should be enough for most people,
unless you’re in show business or something. If that statement just

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made you gasp, I take it you really love clothes. That’s ok, but they
all need to be wearable!

If you have an enormous amount of clothes to sort through as many


people do, just do a bit at a time in pre-determined blocks of time.
You don’t have to finish it all in one go, but you do have to take one
thing at a time, hold it up, look at it, try it on if necessary, and make a
decision.

If you can find everything you normally wear, group it all together as a
starting place, and as you find good, wearable clothes, add them to
this place. If you have a friend who dresses well, why not ask him or
her to come and spend some time with you to offer opinions on which
things suit you.

If there’s a lot of jumbled boxes of mementos, keepsakes, works in


progress, half finished projects and stuff you know is going to be
difficult to sort through, it might be worth getting some good solid
clear plastic storage boxes.

Keeping things in clear plastic as you’re in the process of sorting


through it stops it getting damaged, dirty, mixed up with other things
and so on, and you can see clearly what’s in there, making your task
much easier. If you can’t afford to buy as many as you need, look for
a source of evenly sized cardboard boxes which can be closed at the
top. And when you finish each sorting session, you can simply stack
them up neatly without bits falling out all over the place. Masking
tape is cheap and handy for labelling boxes with temporarily, as it
comes off easily without leaving any residue.

Stuffed toys and dolls? Do you really need to keep a collection


you’ve long outgrown? Will your kids really want them? Are they just
collecting dust? Would they be better donated to a doll museum or a
charity shop? What if you just pack them all away for now and see if
you miss them or not. Perhaps you’d be better just selecting one or
two favourites. I saw a family on Wife Swap that had their whole
living room covered in dusty teddy bears. When the guest mum put
them all away, the lady who insisted she wouldn’t part with them

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enjoyed the new space so much she chose not to put them back after
all.

Same goes for collections of model cars or planes, that sort of stuff.
It’s dusting you have to do. Should you get a glass display cabinet,
or put them in plastic storage boxes for safe keeping, or just move on
from that phase and let them go.

Your bedroom will be more peaceful, restful and romantic with less
clutter. Let it reflect who you are now and who you want to be. And if
you share it with your partner, do make sure you’re taking their tastes
into consideration as well as your own.

Children’s bedrooms

It’s very easy for an excess of stuffed toys to build up.


An excess of
toys in general is undesirable too in my opinion. When they’re very
young, they rely on you to keep their room nice for them. It’s easy
then to subtly weed out excess, broken or no longer age appropriate
toys. They probably won’t even notice.

If there’s something you’re worried they might miss, put it away


somewhere for a while and see if they miss it. If not, you’re safe to let
it go. Don’t be mean and take their tatty chewed up special bunny.
Wash it and lovingly sew up the holes. But those McDonald’s toys
(although we do have a few odd ones 10 years old that are still
favourites) and baby books with scribble on them and missing pages
and puzzles with missing pieces and broken toys you’re not going to
fix and any more than 10 stuffed toys can go, really. They need room
for the next lot of gifts.

If you’re keeping toys for the next child, box and label them with the
appropriate age group and a description of the kinds of things which
are in the box, e.g. baby board books & toys, toys & books age 3
plus. Storing things in boxes is totally fine as long as you can easily
find what’s in them when you need them, so there’s no such thing as
too much information on the side of the box.

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As they grow, you need to weed out their outgrown clothes each
season and work out what new things they need. If you’re keeping
good clothes for the next child, box and label them as you sort them.
I use nappy boxes for this and the toys not in use, because they stack
up nicely and I have plenty of them. Use some masking tape as a
label, saying the age or size, boy or girl.

As the kids get older you can do the twice yearly sort out together
with them, getting them in the habit themselves of purging their
clutter. What a great skill to pass on.

Lounge room/living room and family room

Your living space should contain comfortable places to sit, and items
related to relaxing and socialising. We tend to have things like the
TV, sound system, movie and music collections, books, magazines
and hobbies. Those of us with children often keep some toys here
too. The room shouldn’t be used as storage or a dumping ground.
So the first thing to do is get everything out of the room that you
possibly can which is not useful to your relaxation and doesn’t belong
here.

Magazines and newspapers need to have a time limit as to how old


they’re allowed to get before they’re asked to leave the room. If you
have a lot of them hanging around, start by making a small selection
of the most recent ones that you are likely to read, and get rid of the
rest.

There’s nothing wrong with having a collection of books, but don’t


hold onto trash. Quality literature, art, history and so on, yes. Zillions
of cookbooks, outdated school texts, pulp fiction (unless you’re really
a collector of that), and so on, no. You may want to read them again
or have them available for your family to read, they may be
decorative, they may be some kind of special interest of yours, but
make sure the books you keep are of value to you.

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If you’ve joined the world of DVDs, do you need to keep all those
VHS movies? The ones you really want to watch, you have probably
bought on DVD anyway, as we have with The Wizard of Oz, and the
tape was worn out anyway. Be brave. If you really miss it, you can
get a digital version later.

Don’t lose your home movies on video though. Put these in a special
boxed marked ‘home movies’, and keep them somewhere safe until
you can get them all converted to digital.

Dining room

See linen closet section regarding table linens and kitchen section
regarding dishes. If you have a lot of formal dining ware, decorative
items, display bowls, vases and so on, just keep the ones you love.
Do you really have to keep everything that’s not to your taste any
more (or never was) just because it was a wedding gift?

If your sideboard or buffet has become a junk cupboard, sort through


it looking for clutter you can get rid of.

Study, study area or home office

Do you have work from studies and so on you’re hanging onto?


Make sure you really need it all. You may feel like keeping some old
essays you’ve written, but do you really need all the study notes from
the subject? Are you likely to need to refer to them again? Probably
not.

Check your filing cabinet for duplicates, outdated bank statements,


paid bills more than a year old, that sort of thing. Only keep what you
need to. If you’re not sure, ask your accountant or your tax
department.

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Some people keep hand written letters. Some people also keep
birthday and other greeting cards. Personally I’m not a keeper of
greeting cards, but if you do like to hang onto this sort of stuff, go
through and weed out the junk, then put what you’re keeping in a box.
As you go through it, keep it in batches. For example all letters from
the same person together, grouped by year or month if there’s a lot.
Don’t waste hours on the grouping though, you just want to get rid of
what you’re not keeping at this stage, and put what you are keeping
in a box, clearly labelled. You’ll come back and sort them more
thoroughly after the de-cluttering is finished.

A history tutor once told me letters are one of the best references for
historians, because they are so un-biased. As letter writing is
becoming so out-dated, collections of letters are often old. If you
have any collections of letters, particularly if they’re from your parents
or older relatives, they really may be worth keeping. Younger
generations wanting to know more about their ancestors’ lives may
be fascinated by them. Movies and novels may be created from
them. Who knows?

Computer clutter is one I struggle with. I seem to end up with a lot of


CDs I never touch. Look through them, and you might wonder what
most of it is, and not know whether you need it or not. Read what it
says, and if it’s for something you don’t have any more, chuck it. If
you know you need it or you’re not sure, keep it. You can put them
all in a basket, a CD holder book with plastic pockets in it, or a plastic
rack. Just keep them all neatly in one place.

I also seem to have spare keyboards, mice, cards from inside the
computer, cables and so on. Some things you just know you’re not
going to use again, but they might be handy, like CD ROMs or
graphics cards. Keep just the spares you might use if one blows up,
and throw the rest away unless you can get any money for them on
E-bay. Put the spares away in a box, and label the box with the exact
contents, i.e. graphics card, keyboard, modem, USB hub and so on.

Fortunately clutter inside the computer doesn’t make the room look
messy, but it can slow your computer down and annoy you. So give
the delete key a bit of a run.

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Garage

Is it scary in there? Can you park your car in there? Can you find
the lawnmower? If it’s pretty bad, remember to just keep to your
short sessions. The annual council hard rubbish collection is a
perfect opportunity to clear out the garage. A lot of items are picked
up by other people before they’re collected as rubbish, which is great,
because you know it’s going to get more use.

The garage tends to be a place where we keep stuff we no longer


use, but we don’t want to get rid of it because it might be useful to
somebody one day. Get rid of it now and let it be useful to somebody
else now, or at least not getting in your way any more.

Is there stuff in there that’s not even yours? You could give the
owner of the stuff a time limit to collect it, and let them know it will be
going in the rubbish skip if it’s not gone by then. If your children are
travelling overseas or something and you’re storing things for them,
fine, but if they have their own home and are able to move it and just
haven’t, you need to draw the line somewhere.

How to tidy up and keep tidy

When your clutter is gone it is much easier to tidy up because


there’s less stuff to tidy. Clutter is depressing and puts you off
wanting to tidy or clean as well as making it much more difficult.
Once you’ve got the amount of stuff down to a reasonable level, you
can start finding the best place for everything you’re keeping, and the
next section deals with that.

Until you do find a place for everything, it all just needs to go


somewhere so the room looks reasonably tidy. Don’t get bogged
down in rearranging your storage yet. Just put stuff away as best you
can.

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First put away anything that does have a home. Some people have a
tendency to not put anything away, because they think they’ll need it
again soon. This is a habit that needs breaking.

Unless it’s decorative, just about everything is better off out of sight in
a cupboard or drawer. Some people prefer open storage so they can
see things, and that’s fine, as long as it’s tidy and looks nice. If your
storage is well organized, not over full and everything is in it’s place,
you’ll always be able to find things.

Having your surfaces clear makes the room look tidier, more
spacious and more attractive, and has a calming effect. It makes
cleaning a lot easier too. The cupboards and drawers will get sorted
out eventually, just put the stuff away as best you can for now.

Being tidy on an ongoing basis is a habit to develop if you don’t have


it already.

It’s very simple. You tidy up after yourself as you go, always.

If you are going to put something down, you put it where it goes. You
don’t put anything down ‘temporarily’.

For things that need to be carried from room to room, to save


unnecessary trips, have a basket. Anything that needs to go to
another room goes in the basket, and when you leave the room you
take the basket with you and put things where they belong around the
house. This idea is very handy if you have stairs in your house too.

Some really quick and obvious things to do to make a room look tidy
are closing all the cupboard doors and drawers properly, making a
bed, and picking up anything that is on the floor.

Spare laundry baskets are handy for quick pick ups. If you haven’t
had time to put away everything in the basket, at least now you have
a nice clear floor and surfaces, and there are only 2 places to look for
things, in their designated place or in the basket.

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Avoid having anything on the floor as much as possible. It makes the
room look untidy and makes vacuuming or sweeping really annoying,
and if you’re interested in Feng Shui at all, the idea there is also to
keep free of clutter and keep spaces free for positive energy to flow
around.

Once you’ve got to this point and got the room tidy, the habit of
keeping it tidy and putting things away as you go will come much
more easily. If you tidy up as you go, there is never any tidying up to
do, ever.

If you have children who are too young to tidy up themselves, do a


tidy up of their toys twice a day, once when they go down for their
nap or when they’re at pre-school, and once when they go to bed. A
floor covered in toys can be scary, but if you do it twice a day, you’ll
be surprised how quick it actually is to pick them up, especially if you
rotate the toys as described in the next section. Time it and see.

There are places which seem to repeatedly attract clutter around the
house, like coffee tables, side tables, desks, hall tables, tops of
dressers and so on. Don’t allow things to be left behind in these
places and accumulate. If things keep getting left behind, gather
them all up in a box or basket. You can then carry it around the
house returning things to the right rooms. If you see your kids about
to leave behind some shoes or something, remind them to take their
things with them when they leave the room.

If you persist with putting these bits and pieces away every day when
you do your quick tidy up, the family will soon catch on. Mess and
clutter attracts more of the same. If a room is lovely and clean and
clear, people think twice about disrespecting that peace.

Finding places for all your stuff, room by room

Organizing your storage is next. Finding a place for everything so


that we know where everything goes and we can find it all easily. We
don’t want to be wasting time and getting depressed sorting through

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rubbish and clutter while we’re doing this, so that’s why the de-
cluttering comes first.

The habit of doing this work in small goes should be kicking in now,
so you’ll be able to just limit yourself to one or two drawers, shelves
or cupboards at a time. You might even need several sessions just to
get one drawer or shelf done.

Everyone has their own way of storing things, but I’m going to give
you examples and suggestions for every room. It’s not an exhaustive
list of exactly how to have everything, just some things to think about.
Do it your way, the goal being to have things in the most logical place
for your convenience.

A place for everything, and everything in it’s place.

A good general rule to keep in mind as you decide where to store


things, is how often you use it. Consider whether you use things
daily, weekly or monthly, or only once or twice per year.

With items which are stored away and not used frequently, as well as
being sure to clearly label all boxes, even list their exact contents on
the outside, it’s a good idea to keep a list of which items are stored
where. This is the ultimate in organized storage. It does take time to
make and duplicate a contents list for each box or container, but it
really can pay off.

Suitably sized boxes with lids make sense for storing things away,
because they can be stacked. Any will do if clearly labelled, but the
best kind is clear plastic. Decorative ones are good too if they’re on
display, as long as they’re colour coded or clearly labelled. For small
items, glass jars, shoe boxes, plastic ice-cream containers, lunch
boxes and pencil cases make good storage. Make sure they’re
labelled though.

Did I mention you should label things?

As you try to maximise your storage space, look for pockets of space,
usually vertical space, which is not being effectively utilised. If you

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can’t have extra shelves and drawers installed to better use the
space, look for moveable pieces like stacking shelves which can fit in
the space you want.

Kitchen

Where to locate your dishes is the first decision that comes to mind.
They should be in the most logical place for putting away after
washing, and for having access to them for serving meals. If you
have children you may want to make sure they’re in reach.

Serving platters, oven trays, chopping boards, trays and flat things
like that tend to waste a lot of vertical space and be stacked on top of
each other. It’s good to have a number of horizontal shelves close
together, or a cupboard where they can be stored upright with
notches or bits sticking up to stop them from falling over.

Colanders and strainers need to be near the sink, and it’s really
handy to have a hook to hang them on. This allows you to grab them
easily to use, and makes it easier to clean them and put them away,
as they take up a lot of space if left out. I think they’re attractive
enough to be on display. If not, maybe it’s time you got rid of the one
with the broken, melted plastic frame and got something sturdier.

Cutlery should be in sections for knives, forks, spoons etc, with all the
handles facing the same way. Yes, that one’s really obvious, but I’ve
seen plenty of houses where it was all jumbled in a drawer, and you
can buy a divider tray very easily.

If you ever get to design a new kitchen, I recommend an extra wide


cutlery drawer, so you can have more sections in it. Some cutlery
sets have larger and smaller versions for entrée and mains, soup
spoons as well as normal ones, steak knives as well as butter knives
and of course it’s great to have a special place just for tea spoons.

Cooking utensils should be near the stove, hanging on hooks, in a


handy drawer, or in a pot.

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Wine glasses don’t need to be kept in the same cupboard as normal
drinking glasses. I keep drinking glasses where the kids can reach
them, and stemware in a high cupboard grownups can reach. Tea
cups and mugs are within reach of the kettle.

Vertical space is often wasted inside kitchen cupboards. Installing


extra shelves or using free standing wire racks allows you to use
more of the space, to avoid having to stack too many oven trays,
frying pans and saucepans on top of each other.

Under the sink is the usual place for cleaning products, but some
clever toddlers can figure out those child proof latches, so it might be
worth putting them in a high cupboard rather than under the sink if
you have kids.

You might like to allocate a cupboard that babies and toddlers are
allowed to play in with some plastics and pots, to keep them occupied
while you’re busy in the kitchen. A baby gate to block off access to
the part of the kitchen containing the stove makes life a lot easier too
if there are kids around.

Now you can drive yourself nuts trying to find the ideal location for
everything. Don’t. If it needs rearranging, spend a limited time
thinking about it, imagining you just moved in and were deciding
where to put things. Unfortunately, we can’t always choose where
things are located because of the kitchen design. Just keep like
items with like items, and try to keep things as close as possible to
where they’ll be used.

If things are working fine where they are, leave them there. The main
thing is for your cupboards not to be too full, and for things to be
grouped and put away in the correct place so that you can find and
access everything as easily as possible.

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Laundry

You want all your clothes washing bits and pieces within easy reach
of the washing machine, and stored neatly. Some shelves near the
machines are very handy. Big hooks to hang the baskets on gets
them out of your way and easy to grab. You can get cheap and
simple gadgets which hang over the door for various things. There’s
one with a row of hooks on it suitable for brooms, mops, dusters and
so on. There’s one that is a mini drying rack for drying delicates on.
And there’s ones that are designed to hang a row of hangers on.
There’s also hooks designed to hang your ironing board on.

Get as many of these wonderful gadgets in there as you can,


because the great thing about them is they get everything up off the
floor! You want as little stuff on the floor as possible, so it’s easier to
clean, and easier to move around.

Whatever other bits and pieces you keep in here, group them. All the
pegs together in a container, all the shoe cleaning stuff together in a
container, all the ironing bits like clothes brushes, spray bottles and
so on together, sewing things together.

See if you can bring in a nice picture or something to give the room a
more pleasant feel. It doesn’t seem to occur to us to decorate the
laundry, but it is a space we often use.

Bathroom

There are a lot of things you use every day, but keeping them all out
on the counter or around the sink makes it hard to keep it clean – too
many things to pick up and wipe under. It also makes the room look
cluttered and messy.

I love home makeover shows on TV (are you getting the impression I


watch a lot of TV?) and there are some lovely bathroom designs
these days, but where’s the storage? And how different would even

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the loveliest bathrooms look once people moved in and started
actually using it.

You really need some kind of storage in the bathroom for your bits
and pieces. No matter how clutter free it is, there’s a lot of stuff in
there you really need, especially if the room is used by more than one
person. And you don’t want it all on display. Fancy perfume bottles
and fluffy co-ordinated towels and so on may look nice, but what
about the less glamorous looking stuff like spare toilet paper, band
aids, hair curlers, nail clippers and so on.

To make it more difficult, there’s often very little space in there. So


here are some suggestions:

A tall skinny bookshelf which will fit into a little nook somewhere, with
attractive square baskets to fit some of the shelves. Or a bookshelf
that has a cupboard door on the bottom half. Or a suitably sized free
standing chest of drawers. Free standing pieces of furniture like this
will only work though if there’s just the right spot for them, so they
don’t end up getting in the way and making the room cramped.

If there’s a place for a mirror above the sink, why not have one with a
cupboard behind it. As well as easy access to commonly used items
at the right height so you can get to them without bending, a mirrored
cupboard above the sink has the added advantage of bringing the
mirror closer to you so you don’t have to bend forward to look into it
really closely for things like shaving or putting on makeup. I think tiny
little ones are a bit stingy, and you should go for the biggest possible
one that will fit in the space available.

If your sink has a cabinet underneath, the drawers are very handy for
hair brushes, hair dryers, tubes, makeup and so on. Cupboards
under sinks are often wasted space, especially for smaller items, but
you can get much more use out of it by adding some small portable
drawers inside it.

Measure the space, allowing for the plumbing underneath, and keep
the measurements with you when you go shopping so if you come
across anything you can check if it fits. You might need to take a

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small tape measure shopping with you as well, as the dimensions are
often not displayed on the product. If the drawers are attractive
enough, you might even prefer to take the cupboard doors off for
easier access.

And of course there’s all manner of handy little shelves, hooks and
holders which can be attached to the wall, available from places like
Ikea. The more stuff you can find a suitable place for, the easier it is
to keep the room clean and tidy.

Depending how much space you have, storing spare towels in the
bathroom can be attractive and handy. If there’s not much room,
perhaps just the hand towels and face washers.

Only keep one of each product you are using in the place with easiest
access, and have a designated place to keep all your spares.

Hall cupboards, linen closets

Assess the amount of sheets and towels you need as discussed


above. It might be better to keep sheets and towels in the bedroom
or bathroom cupboards if there’s room, so they’re handy in the places
you need them. This gives you a lot more space in your linen
cupboards to store things like spare blankets, sewing basket, esky,
bike helmets or whatever. These cupboards can really attract a lot of
clutter, so consider their contents carefully.

If there’s lots of little awkward things you need to store in your


hallway cupboards, use small boxes that are easily stacked and
moved, and write on the side of the box exactly what is in there, like
extension cords, decorations, batteries, light globes etc.

I love clear plastic storage boxes. They come in all sorts of sizes,
they stack easily, you can see what’s in them, they stop things getting
damaged, lost or jumbled up. They’re just fantastic. Get some. Get
some now.

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Master bedroom

This is your private sanctuary and a place for romance. It needs to


be as nice as you can make it and free of clutter. You’ll sleep better.
Avoid storing things under the bed if you can. (Bad Feng Shui.) If
you have very little space and really need to store things under the
bed, then drawers or plastic boxes with little wheels are best. You
want to be able to get to everything easily, and be able to clean under
there easily.

Avoid storing anything in your bedroom that doesn’t belong there.


Don’t use the top of your dresser or drawers for storage either. Keep
the top clear and just place carefully chosen decorative items there.

Keep your bedside table clear of stuff so you’ve got room for just a
nice lamp, a clock and a drink, somewhere to put your book and your
glasses. Don’t pile too much stuff here, use your drawers.

With clothes storage as with storing anything, think groups. Group


like items together. Undies together (they don’t need to be folded
unless you prefer to, just in the correct drawer), socks together,
hosiery together, nightwear together, t-shirts together, jeans together,
shirts together, jackets together, dresses together, pants together,
and so on.

Another option is to group things by occasion, such as formal, casual,


work and sport. You might need to use a combination of groupings,
such as all shirts together, but grouped into formal and casual.

If you’re short of drawer or shelf space, hang more things like jeans.
If you’re short of hanging space, fold anything that won’t look funny
with fold marks. If you have a big difference in seasons, you might
want to put clothes away at the end of the season and change them
over to give yourself more space. Space bags and clear plastic
boxes are great for this.

A very logical way to double your hanging space is to have two rows,
double hanging, one rod under the other. You need to have enough

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height to start with for this to work. Assess what you’ve got, and you
might find there’s only a small amount of items which need full length
hanging, like dresses, long skirts and long coats.

Everything else, like skirts, pants, shirts and jackets can be hung in
two rows. Measure the length of your longest short hanging item,
and measure the height of the inside of the wardrobe, to see if you
can do it. If you can do it, there are rods available which simply hang
from the one above, requiring no installation.

Another great storage gadget for inside wardrobes is the hanging


pockets which Velcro onto the hanging rod. You can get skinny ones
or wide ones, and you can store shoes, jumpers, t-shirts, belts, all
sorts of things there.

If shelves would be handy and you don’t have any, this is a cheap,
quick and easy way to get some. I love these because they’re so
cheap and easy, and maximise the use of vertical space otherwise
wasted. Using them to get all your shoes off the floor makes the
wardrobe so much tidier, and easier to vacuum.

If you have a lot of shoes, you’ll need to keep many of them in their
boxes. You can write on the box, have the label facing out if it
identifies the shoes, put a Polaroid photo on the outside of the box, or
use clear shoe boxes.

Hooks on the back of the wardrobe door are great for bags and belts.
You might even keep a bag hanging there where you put all your
clothes to be donated as you come across them on an ongoing basis.

A great way to store jewellery is in sectioned trays which can be


placed inside a drawer and stacked on top of each other. These
trays can be very handy for any other small items which tend to be
kept in drawers also. Baskets and jewellery boxes allow items to be
placed on top of each other, making them more likely to get tangled
and lost.

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Children’s bedrooms
Toys

I’m talking about toys here, even though in my house most of the
toys are in the lounge room as the little ones like to play where they
can see me.

It’s best not to have too many toys out all at once, because the kids
get bored with them, don’t appreciate them, they get all mixed up and
damaged, it’s harder to tidy them up, and they forget what they’ve
got. Having a big toy box with everything thrown in there just means
they will tip out the whole lot looking for things, and there will be more
mess to clean up.

The best thing to do is to rotate the toys, just like they do at pre-
school, and change them regularly. They’ll get to play with all their
toys without getting bored with them and without tipping the lot onto
the floor in a great big jumble, and it will be a nice surprise for them to
see what’s out today.

To make rotating the toys easier, and to store them in an organized


way, the answer is clear plastic boxes. Yes, clear plastic boxes have
changed my life! Is there nothing they cannot do? You can get
different sizes, you can stack them, you can see what’s in them, and
you can move them around easily. Cardboard boxes would do just
fine too, or cane baskets, and I still have some toys put away in
nappy boxes that the younger kids are not ready for yet. Sorted and
labelled of course, and neatly stacked up in my wardrobe.

Don’t have the boxes too big. You might just have one big box for
large toys, and bring out a couple of large toys and put them on a
shelf each time you bring out new toys. Keep the rest of the toys in
smaller boxes, and bring out 2 or 3 boxes at a time, changing them
weekly, or 1 box at a time, changing them daily, or whatever works
best.

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Categorizing them can be tricky, but some things are obviously better
kept as a set in their own exclusive boxes, such as Duplo, Lego, train
sets, toy dishes and food, matchbox cars, wooden blocks, animal
collections, small musical instruments, Barbie or Bratz dolls and their
accessories (you end up with them whether you want them or not),
puzzles, dolls house people and furniture, dress ups, paper and
crayons and so on.

You’ll also need a few boxes which are just mixed toys. Hint: If you
have multiples of toys like shape sorters, nesting cups and so on with
many pieces, and which they won’t want more than one of at a time
anyway, don’t put them all in one toy box, spread them out evenly.
Having only 2 or 3 boxes of toys out at a time makes it much easier at
pack up time to group things in their sets and return things to the
appropriate boxes.

I do have all the books appropriate for their age group permanently
out on the shelf, but if you had a very large amount of them and the
kids were too young not to spread them all over the room, you could
always rotate these in batches too.

Clothes

In the wardrobe, younger kids tend not to need as much hanging


space, so hanging pockets, the Velcro ones that hang from the rod
creating instant shelves, make handy extra storage for shoes, toys,
clothes, or whatever you want to put there. So that they can reach
things that are hanging up on hangers, you can add an extra rod at a
lower height. Make sure it’s safe though if they’re little, or wait til
they’re old enough to access the inside of the wardrobe.

Lounge/living/family room

Make sure everything like books, CDs, DVDs and so on are grouped
together. When you want to find something there should only be one
place you need to look.

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If you still have a CD collection you need to use, because you haven’t
fully gone digital and got it all onto a hard drive yet, alphabetize them.
No, I’m not nuts. It’s fun, and you’ll get more use out of your CDs. I
don’t suggest arranging them autobiographically or by genre or
anything too fancy, just alphabetically by artist. If the name of the
artist starts with ‘the’ take the first letter of the next word. Yes, solo
artists will be separated from their original bands.

Books are best arranged by type first, i.e. fiction, non-fiction, then into
categories, like art, fishing etc, and the fiction by author or style. It
doesn’t matter too much, if you have a rough idea of which area you
will find a book in.

I have heard somewhere of books being arranged by spine colour,


(sounds like a fun way to spend a rainy afternoon), but then what do
you do with those Harry Potter books with the three colours on the
spine? It is aesthetically annoying though, when you have some
books by the same author in old fashioned covers and others in
glossy paperbacks.

I think many people who enjoys their book and music collections, take
great pleasure in re-arranging them from time to time, and this is so
much more fun in a clean and tidy, un-cluttered room.

Remember, coffee tables and side tables are not storage, except for
decorative items. Yes, a small pile of books you’re currently reading
can be decorative.

Games simply need to be all in the correct boxes and neatly placed
somewhere, all in the same place.

If you have hobbies and projects on the go, they need a proper home
where they won’t get messed up or need to be moved out of the way.
You don’t want your hard work undone or missing pieces or parts
getting damaged, and nobody wants to keep picking it up off the
couch, the desk or the dining table every time they want to use the
space.

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On the other hand, you need to be able to get to it easily whenever
you want to work on it. So if you have something that falls into this
category, find a proper place for it, preferably portable, like a box with
a lid, a bag that closes up or a case, and allocate a handy place
where it goes. Let yourself enjoy it properly.

Dining room

A lot of people including me use the dining table to fold their


washing. Make sure you don’t have laundry items hanging around
here, put them all away.

If you don’t have room to display all the decorative items you like,
consider rotating them from time to time.

If you use the dining table for projects, or as a desk, you need places
to easily put those things away each day when you’ve finished with
them. Don’t let things ‘live’ on the dining table, even if you don’t use it
daily.

Study, home office

My views about filing are pretty simple. Don’t keep it if you don’t
need it, if you do need to keep it, identify how long you need to keep
it for and how often you’re likely to want to find it. Identify suitable
categories so you know what to label your folders, label them clearly,
and always put things in their correct folder, immediately or at least
weekly. Take out as much as you add so it doesn’t grow and grow.

More and more people have scanners these days, and they’re a great
way of getting rid of paper clutter. Not only does it get rid of the need
to keep physical hard copies of many things, the act of having to go
to the trouble of scanning it makes you think more carefully about
whether you really need it at all.

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If you have suspension files with the little plastic tags on them, put the
tag at the front of the file, not on the back. This way you know to file
things behind the tag, and it’s easier to avoid accidentally filing things
between the files, where they fall to the bottom of the cabinet.
Make sure the paper label that goes inside the plastic tab is not going
to fall out, that’s so annoying. And I prefer to keep papers inside a
manila folder, then put the folder inside the suspension file, so I can
take folders out without removing the file.

When you put papers in a folder, it’s better to use staples than paper
clips, so papers don’t become attached where they’re not supposed
to, or become accidentally detached.

To help you remember what goes in each folder, how long you need
to keep these items for and so on, you can write extra information on
the front of the folder.

For example ‘tax 2002, all claimable receipts 2001 to 2002 and tax
return, throw away July 2007’ if you had to keep it for 5 years. Check
with your accountant or tax department what your requirement is.
Envelope pocket folders are good for tax papers if they’re not too
thick, and you can put them in a box in the attic or an awkward high
cupboard, out of the way if you don’t need to refer to them. Clearly
label the box with what’s in it and when exactly you can throw it away.

At the end of each financial year, you may be able to throw away your
oldest financial papers. Again, check with your accountant or tax
department.

If you have a bunch of papers that you need to collect more of than
will fit in a manila folder, or you need to look through them frequently
whilst keeping them in order, then something which holds papers
which have been hole punched is the way to go.

You can get little rubber and plastic things which make a manila
folder into a folder you can look through without papers falling out.
These gizmos are much better than metal spiky things and can take
quite a thick pile of papers.

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If it’s better for you to store thick folders upright on a shelf, ring
binders are the go, size appropriate. 2 rings is easier to buy a hole
punch for, but 3 rings hangs better and deteriorates slower. Label
them by subject or month or year or whatever is appropriate.

If you have collections of letters or cards you really want to keep,


attractive looking size appropriate storage boxes work best, labelled
of course. The size of the boxes you choose should be appropriate
to how you want to group the letters, probably not too big. Group
cards by year and occasion, and group letters by who they’re from,
and by year or month depending how many there are.

Any documents which you would not want to lose, such as passports,
birth certificates, marriage certificates, references, resumes, school
reports, qualifications, valuation certificates, insurance documents,
wills and so on, should be scanned onto your computer, and kept in
plastic pockets and in a different coloured folder and all in the same
area, so they can be quickly grabbed if you need to evacuate.

Assess whether it’s just the information you need, or the document
itself. Is it replaceable or not? Would you need to physically use it in
an emergency situation or not? Highly personal or sentimental
documents come under this category also, like letters and journals.

Items like wills, insurance inventories, valuations, property deeds and


contracts should have a copy kept somewhere outside the house,
such as with your solicitor, and you need to let others know where
they are.

A list of all your important contacts should be backed up also. We all


tend to have them on our computers and phones, but there may be
emergency situations where you need to access them and there’s no
power, so a printed out copy filed with your important papers, and
even a back up outside the house is a good idea. If you do have just
a paper address book, what if it got lost or destroyed? You might
want to back that up too.

Every time you buy an appliance or a gadget for your home, you have
another instruction book or manual. The problem with hole punching

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them is some are too thick, or the holes would go through the text,
and the problem with an expanding alphabetical file, apart from them
being ugly, is that for me, C for computer would be too fat. (Yes I
know I could change the letters and make my own categories, but I
still don’t like those things).

So I like magazine files. You can get very attractive ones, you can
label them on the outside, and you can use coloured cardboard
dividers inside to roughly categorise them, for example computer,
appliances, audio visual equipment and so on.

Some people like to keep the manual with the appliance, and this
makes sense if it’s new and you’re still learning how to drive it. Once
you do though, and you only need it occasionally, I think it’s best to
file it. So there are only 2 places the instruction book can be, with the
gadget, or filed with the others.

What about stuff like kids’ artwork and school photos and reports?
Magazine files or ring binders are handy for lots of things like that
which are too fat for folders and which you don’t want to punch holes
in.

With kids’ artwork, date it as it comes in and add it to the back of the
magazine file (when it comes down off the fridge or whatever). Once
or a few times a year, just keep your favourites for that year. You can
end up with massive stacks if you keep every single scribble or
project they ever did. What will you or your child want to look back
on? I suggest one or two items per year at the most. When they get
to doing school work, the things I like the best to keep are diaries and
stories of their life. You might even want to scan a few of the most
special things for safe keeping, like you would with photos.

School photos are a great place to start a scrap-booking project.


Temporarily you could put them in a document folder with clear
plastic pockets, if they’ll fit, or in a magazine file. Scan them!

School reports are best put into plastic pockets into a ring binder, or
into a document folder with plastic pockets. Lately though, the
schools have been sending them to me as web pages!

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Photographs are often precious and irreplaceable. It’s really worth
scanning them, in order of importance, onto your computer. A big
task I know, because I’ve done it, but just start with the portraits and
favourites. My older children have their own computers now, and it’s
nice to be able to sort all my old photos on the computer and give the
kids their baby photos and old family photos on a USB memory
thingy.

Getting home movies converted to digital is another worthwhile


organizing project. It allows you to back them up for safe keeping,
and to edit them and share them freely.

Now everything on your computer needs backing up. You might have
a big music collection on there, and that would be annoying and time
consuming to replace, but not irreplaceable. Your photos and home
movies are, so get them backed up, as well as any other documents
on your computer you don’t want to lose, like your half finished novel,
your favourite recipes etc, and keep a spare copy outside the house
somewhere safe.

This is so much easier now with DVD burners and all the other new
technology available. I believe some things can even be saved by
emailing them to yourself or using photo sharing sites and so on,
where you’re using someone else’s server as storage.

Hallways

There should be nothing in them except perhaps a decorative table if


it works there. Don’t keep shoes, boxes, rubbish and stuff in your
hallways. You should be able to walk through freely without bumping
into and tripping over stuff. This is the first impression people get of
your home (well, after the front garden if you have one and the front
door.) A good looking entrance will make you feel better too when
you come home and step inside. So stop walking past that spider
web, stop and sort it out.

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If you must keep shoes in the hallway, it’s worth having some kind of
shelf, rack, or best of all cupboard to store them in, off the floor and
out of sight

With all rooms, avoid using the floor as storage. You want to be able
to run around with the vacuum cleaner without stopping to lift things
up. Try to find a place for everything off the floor. Put up some extra
hooks if need be. There are cheap storage things that just hang over
doors which can be very handy.

Jackets tend to be kept in entrance areas, and if there’s no coat


closet, hooks are the answer. On the wall is better than a free
standing coat rack.

There needs to be a place for umbrellas too, either a stand which


won’t keep toppling over, or hang them on the coat hooks.

Keys, handbags, briefcases and mobile phones

Where does this stuff go? There needs to be one place only where
keys go. I suggest you make it the same place where you re-charge
your mobile phone. I also suggest you keep your handbag or
briefcase in the same place, so that when you leave the house you
remember to take your phone. You could even plug your phone into
the charger then sit it inside your handbag.

Wherever you decide to put your keys, phone and bag, is the ideal
spot for a launching pad area. When you have letters ready to post
or library books ready to return or anything that needs to leave the
house, you put it in this area. Speaking of library books, note the due
date on your calendar as soon as you get them.

Try to make a spot where there’s room for guests to safely put their
things down too. I had a regular house guest who had a habit of
dumping her handbag on the kitchen bench, with her keys and
sunglasses spilling out of it. I then had no room to make the tea. I

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just picked them up each time and moved them to the designated
spot, a hook on the kitchen door, and she soon caught on.

What about the contents of your handbag/purse? (Sorry guys, just


tune out for a moment or think about your briefcase or your wallet or
your pockets). Don’t keep all sorts of rubbish in there you don’t need.
You need plenty of room in there to find things, and it will look awful if
it’s overstuffed. For a well stocked daily handbag, the basics are your
purse or wallet (and don’t have that full of all sorts of rubbish either),
your phone, your diary if you use a paper one, sunglasses, car keys,
small pack of tissues and/or clean hanky, mini pack of baby wipes if
you have little ones, lip balm, emery board, personal protection, a pen
and maybe a small note pad, (or a voice recorder, which I believe my
phone has, but I still like my notepad), maybe a little emergency kit
with safety pins, hair tie, band aids, mini saline for washing out eyes,
mini toothpicks or dental floss, and pain relief or other medication you
might need, lipstick, maybe a small hairbrush or a comb, maybe
some gum or mints.

This might sound like way too much, or you might have other
essentials, but do keep your handbag nice. I still remember those
magazine ads for Glomesh bags in the 70s where they had a picture
of a celebrity with the contents of their handbag. What if yours was
spilled out and photographed right now, and the picture published in a
women’s magazine? It could happen!

Speaking of thing we carry around with us, and the notepad, I can’t
remember when I last didn’t need a notepad on me at all times. I
have a spiral bound one which has lists of shopping items, such as
clothing items the kids need, measurements for hardware items or
household items I want, and I’m always scribbling ideas in.

The only thing is, if you write down a phone number or a To Do item,
you need to transfer that information to your contact list or address
book or diary or calendar or task list. If you have a phone with
notebook capabilities or a PDA, you can gradually adjust to keeping
some of your lists on there.

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The phone

Make sure there’s always pen and paper next to it, or all of them if
you have several. If the phone is a known drainer of your time, set
time limits for yourself. There’s nothing rude about politely saying
from the outset that you have a limited amount of time for the call, or
ending the call because you have something you need to do.

As for unwanted sales calls, ask them to hold and don’t come back to
them. Or inform them that you never buy or give to a charity if they
ring you uninvited. (This is also what I tell any sales people or
charities that come to the door, except the Salvation Army who come
once a year and you know when so you’re expecting them, and are a
charity I’ve chosen anyway).

When you make notes from a phone call, take it straight to your desk,
diary or calendar and write down what you need to – you don’t want
to be hunting for that bit of paper with the info you need, keep it in
one place only. When the note jotted on a bit of paper is completed,
throw it away, or cross it out if there’s other things on there.

The garage

If you have stuff you want to store there, clear plastic boxes which
can be stacked and labelled are great, and protect your items from
damp and creepy crawlies. Hanging things on the wall of the garage
makes it look a lot cleaner and also makes it easier to sweep in there.
Some shelving and a workbench are good to have too.

I like my tools in an open plastic caddy so I can see what’s there and
carry it around easily. (And I actually keep them in the pantry
cupboard, as I often seem to need them for little things around the
house).

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Don’t over fill your tool box. Keep just the best tools, you don’t need
3 hammers, and if the tool box is too full, have more than one, with
things grouped by the kind of job you use them for.

If you have a great stack of tools, do the peg board thing on the wall.
If you’re very serious about your tools you might even have one of
those toolboxes on wheels with drawers. Make sure you put them
back where they go.

Once you can park your car in there, try the old tennis ball trick for
getting your car in the right spot. Park you car in the right place, then
hang a tennis ball from the ceiling so that it just touches the window
of your car when you’re in the right spot. It will make it easier to
judge the distance.

Detailed cleaning room by room

When you’ve got your room de-cluttered, tidy and organized, at least
enough that you can get around with a vacuum cleaner now, you start
doing regular detailed cleaning. When the detailed cleaning has
been completed once, it will be like your whole house has been
spring cleaned.

You then keep up with it by continuing the allocated time and


maintaining it. This means always reassessing any potential clutter,
keeping it tidy, and doing the detailed cleaning, which is as follows,
room by room. It’s only a guideline; it’s not the one and only way to
clean. Remember you’re letting go of perfectionism in favour of good
habits. Each time you come around to the same room, there will be
less to do, until you might find there’s nothing to be done this round
but a quick swan around with a duster.

With all rooms, start by dusting. Start at the highest point first and
move downwards. So that’s ceiling fans and light fittings, the tops of
doorframes and doors, window frames, pelmets, any hanging pictures
or ornaments on the walls, the tops of furniture, working down to
window sills and skirting boards.

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If your dust is old, it may have grime mixed with it making it stick to
things. If so, it will take a lot longer to completely clean the room.
Just do it in the correct order, for the allocated time, and you’ll get
there eventually. Orange oil based cleaner, ammonia, or hot soapy
water are all good for removing grime. Ammonia is actually a
fantastic cleaner, but watch the fumes, it can knock you over.

Next wipe out or dust inside all the cupboards and any ornaments or
items on display that have gotten dusty.

Then vacuum, sweep and mop more thoroughly than usual, getting
into all the corners and under furniture, and looking out for any
cobwebs.

Look for any marks on walls and doors that need wiping, especially
around doorknobs, door frames and light switches. Glass and mirrors
need dusting and polishing with some window cleaner.

Kitchen

Clean the stove and oven and inside the microwave, wipe all the
bench tops, wipe the fronts of the cupboards. Yes, start with what
you can see. Put the extractor fan filters through the dishwasher.
Wipe down the outside of the fridge. Pull the fridge out and clean
behind it. Pull the filter out of the dishwasher and clean it. Wipe out
the inside of the rubbish bin. Give the sink a scrub. If the sink is in
front of a window, clean the inside of the glass, even if you don’t do
all the other windows in your house very often. This one is highly
visible and gets little splashes on it. Yes, the stove and oven and
microwave should be cleaned as part of your daily routine, but if they
haven’t been, attend to them now, or just do it a bit more thoroughly.

Look for things that are greasy and dusty, like the tops of appliances,
wall clock, top of the extractor fan, tops of canisters, anything out on
display that’s gotten grimy. Get the crumbs out of the toaster, polish
up the kettle, wash the curtains or blinds, wipe out the insides of the
cupboards. Wash all the cutlery in hot soapy water and rinse and

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polish. The dishwasher doesn’t do such a good job on cutlery. I’ve
tried metho and found it does no good at all. Just soapy water, hot
rinse and dry with a clean tea towel works better.

It can seem never ending in here, and you need to get on with the
rest of your life, so do stick to your time limit and come back and do
some more next time. It will get shinier and shinier over time.

Laundry

Give the sink a good clean including the edges. Wipe inside the lid
of the washing machine where all those dusty corner bits gather, and
wipe down the lid. Vacuum up all the fluff behind the tumble dryer,
and any cobwebs. Clean up any spilled washing powder. If your
brooms have gotten grimy from sweeping over something moist,
wash the bristles in warm soapy water and dry in the sun.

Bathroom

There shouldn’t be much to do here at all because you keep it clean


all the time now. Does the shower curtain need washing or
replacing? The softer ones are much easier to put through the
washing machine, (though perhaps they tend to stick to you more
than the stiffer ones), or just buy a new one from the $2 shop.

Do the taps need a scrub with an old toothbrush? Do you need to


touch up some grout in the tiles? The extractor fan needs taking
down and cleaning. Beware of mould building up anywhere, it’s very
unhealthy. If the fan isn’t keeping it at bay try opening windows
regularly to air out the room, and wipe it all up.

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Hall cupboard, linen closet

Just dust and vacuum in here if it needs it, and wipe over the
shelves, especially if they have sheets and towels on them.

Bedrooms

Vacuum the mattress and turn it. It gets rid of dust mites. Sunshine
kills dust mites too, so it’s good to hang your quilt and pillows out in
the sunshine on a nice day, or get them in front of a sunny window.
Wash the mattress protector. The quilt could do with a wash once a
year. Anything bigger than a single will need to go to the laundrette
to go in the big front loader, or to be professionally cleaned if it can’t
be washed.

Living room, lounge room, sitting room, family room

Vacuum under the cushions of your couch/sofa/settee and arm


chairs. Does it need a clean? Some marks can just be sponged off
easily, or you might like to steam clean it. If it has washable covers,
do they need washing? Is there any furniture that could do with a bit
of furniture polish or wax? Use some glass cleaner on the TV

Dining room or meals area

It’s not so common to have silver to polish these days, but if you do
have it, get out the polish. Favourite items first. Rather than
spending ages once a year, do one piece each time you come to the
dining room. Spread it out.

See if the dining chairs need wiping down and do some detailed
dusting. Some dining chairs have seats that pop off, allowing you to

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get any crumbs out from underneath. Check the legs and edges of
the table. Sometimes small spills and splashes get missed here.

Study, home office

While your computer is turned off, clean it. Dust the outside, wipe
the screen and the keyboard. Get the dust off the fan part of the
computer. Particularly look for dust bunnies gathering around all the
cords.

Garage

Now that the junk is gone and your things are stored neatly, just
sweep. Look upwards for cobwebs as well as doing the floor.
While you’re outside with a broom, check for dust and cobwebs
around your external doors and windows and under the eaves.

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Chapter 7

Step 4: Balancing how you spend your time by


allowing for each important part of your life

As you add more things to your schedule, don’t lose sight of the
basic routines. The basic routines are what you decided were
essential. They are essential because they are the basics of taking
care of yourself and your family. Additional things can be let go in a
crisis, but you want the basics to always stay in place and become
part of your life.

The additional things you add will be:

- More details related to the things you’re already doing.


- Family and social time.
- Time and items related to your health.
- Time for your spiritual well being.
- Pure relaxation and enjoyment like hobbies, watching TV,
reading for pleasure.

Extra items for your daily routine

When you add more details to the basic routines, you don’t want to
end up with a great big long list of things it would be good to do but
you never get around to doing. Don’t write down every little thing
that’s obvious to you, or that you already remember.

Just write down what you need help to remember. For instance,
when you clean up after dinner, obviously you do the dishes or load
and start the dishwasher, but perhaps you often forget to empty the
bin, or you prefer to start the dishwasher before bed, but you tend to
forget. Or there might be some little extra things you want to do for
yourself but need help to remember til you get them established. Add

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them to the appropriate part of your routine, linked with a core item if
possible, as it will make them easier to remember.

Here’s an example:

Make bed
Reset alarm clock
Open curtains
Leave room tidy

Shower
5 minute bathroom clean
Dress nicer

Check emails
Look up one word from list in dictionary

Clean up after dinner


Set roach baits
Refill kettle or coffee maker

Brush teeth (before bed)


Extra grooming items

Read before sleeping


Stretching exercises

Grocery shopping
Visit library

Vacuum floor
Empty vacuum cleaner

When you add your extra things, have the original, essential items
highlighted or a different colour or something. This is to remind you
which things are your essentials, that you never let go of, and which
ones are just extra things you’d like to remember.

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Family and social time

It’s easily forgotten and tends to be something we want to be


spontaneous and organic, but it deserves some attention, and there
are organizational things you can do to improve your relationships.

An obvious one is making sure you remember important birthdays,


and other special occasions, which is simply a matter of writing them
all in your calendar. Decide in advance for the whole year who you
want to send cards to, give a gift to and so on. Planning your gift
giving in advance allows you to be much more thoughtful and
creative, and saves stress, time and money.

What about playing with your kids, spending time with your partner,
staying in touch with your extended family, and having a social life?

Traditions and routines are great for family and social things. Things
like half an hour after dinner when you get down on the floor with your
kids and play with them, a habit of reading or singing to them at
bedtime, having an outing with them every Saturday, having
extended family get togethers for birthdays and other special
occasions, a special time every year when you have a BBQ and invite
all your friends, a ritual of going to lunch with one or three or
whatever of your friends once a week or once a month, Sunday lunch
where you do a special meal and invite people over, play dates,
afternoon tea, coffee mornings, regular phone call times.

If you can get a good tradition established, it’s not just you that will
benefit; it can bring a whole family together. Make a list of ideas that
would work for you as traditions. Some will be daily, weekly, monthly,
yearly and so on. Start by adding one daily item to your routine, and
one item for the coming week such as a phone call. You only need to
tackle one at a time, and put it in your diary or calendar to be
arranged.

If you have young kids it can be hard to arrange social things around
them, and if you’ve become a bit house bound you might be nervous
about calling a friend. You can schedule yourself a time each week

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when you make a phone call, just to say a quick hello and see how
someone is going. That’s all it needs to be, and if you end up
arranging a get together that’s a bonus. Being organized is about
having time to fit important things in, and your family and social life
are important. These things do need some organizing too; they won’t
necessarily take care of themselves.

If you have a partner, it’s important to balance spending time together


and spending time doing your own thing. Make sure your time is not
leaning too far one way or the other. Spending time together can be
done lots of ways. You have a drink and catch up when you arrive
home or while you’re preparing dinner, you might go for a walk
together after dinner (this ticks the exercise and walk the dog boxes
as well), you might have a favourite TV show you both like, and of
course eating your meals together.

You need time for yourself to do your own individual things too, and
this is really important. As you’re working out your afternoon/evening
routine, take this into consideration and see how the balance is
looking.

Your physical health

Attending to your health and well being is easy to let go, but should
be seen as a priority worthy of spending regular time on. Everyone
knows regular exercise is good for you. It’s not just good for your
heart and blood circulation and metabolism; it also releases
endorphins and makes you happier, helping avoid depression.

Getting outdoors is supposed to be good for your mood too, so think


about not having all your exercise indoors if possible. Not all of us
are into sports or gardening, but a short walk outdoors can usually be
fitted in somewhere very easily.

If you’re ever feeling depressed or any negative emotions, it’s easy to


let exercise go, rationalising that you don’t feel up to it, but it’s the
very thing that can help you feel better. Any kind of exercise that you

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enjoy which is suitable for your health (see your doctor if you’re not
sure) will do you good. Your heart will thank you, it can loosen you
up and reduce aches and pains, and it can make you feel better.

Get exercise incorporated into your basic daily routine as soon as you
can. Like eating well and getting enough sleep, it helps keep
everything working. I know it’s not essential, unless you have a dog
who needs walking, in which case it is; and you do get some exercise
anyway just doing your daily stuff, so I’ve put it in this section as well
as in the basic daily routine section. But you want it there as soon as
you can. Make it a priority, but not til you’ve done the dishes and the
washing.

You also need to schedule regular visits to your doctor and dentist,
and whatever other health checks you need. As a minimum, you
should see your doctor and your dentist once a year. Put it in your
calendar or diary now. Keep a list of annual events like this and what
month they occur, so you can write them in your calendar for next
year when you get your new one. Don’t forget the optometrist if you
need to.

Your spiritual well being

Whatever your religious beliefs or lack of them, most people would


agree they need some regular spiritual attention too. Whatever works
for you and helps bring you peace, and puts you in touch with
whatever it is for you, make sure you devote regular time to it.

It might just be positive thinking exercises or meditation, or it might be


listening to music or sitting in a peaceful garden. Do your thing and
keep time for this activity as sacred. It’s good for you and will help
keep everything else in your life working better.

Think of what you’re grateful for or happy about every day as part of
this activity. Think about your purpose and your values, and look for
guidance towards the positive things you want, which will benefit all.

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If you have any rituals associated with your religion, or that help you
with your meditation, make them special and really enjoy them.

Use this time to direct your thoughts towards what you want, what
you believe in, and what makes you happy. Use it to let go of past
hurt and anger, and practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is extremely
empowering, as it takes power away from those who have hurt you
and returns that power to you.

Attending to your spiritual needs regularly is a habit well worth


developing. You don’t need to have any particular religious beliefs for
this to be beneficial, but if you do, this is your time to keep in touch
with their true meaning. Not once a year or once a week, but daily,
even if only for a short time. This is one to add to your daily routine,
when you can find a quiet moment.

Relaxation and pure enjoyment

If your routine is so full of stuff and work that you don’t have time to
veg out and read for pleasure or watch a movie or something, re-think
your priorities.

It’s possible for kids to have so many after school activities scheduled
like music and sport and dance and extra tutors that they have no
time to just play and be kids. Sometimes you need to limit their
choices or how many things you are ‘encouraging’ them to do. For
example you could let them do soccer and ballet this term, but not
tennis as well unless they want to give something up for it, and when
ballet starts taking 3 nights per week, that’s enough just on it’s own.
Of course if your child is an Olympic gymnast or something you’ll look
at it differently, but you know what I mean.

Well, the same applies to us grownups. If you’re working or studying


too hard or for too many hours, the quality of the work is diminished.
You need to check that you’re giving yourself time to just relax. You
may even have to schedule it.

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If you have a partner or family, some of your leisure time will be
shared with them, which is important. You may spend time together
at meal times, in the car and so on, but it’s nice to spend time
enjoying something else together as well. I don’t think there’s
anything wrong with watching a TV show together as a way of
spending time, but it is nice to mix it up a bit. Sharing any fun activity
or experience, whether it’s a walk, throwing a ball, chatting over a
crossword, or even recreational shopping, creates a bond.

Time to do something fun just for yourself is just as important. We all


have things we really enjoy that require a bit of peace and quiet, like
curling up with a good book. Make sure you’ve got regular time to do
your own activities which are purely for fun and enjoyment.

You’ll feel better and be more productive and positive about all the
other things going on in your life. It’s enriching and rewarding, and
allows your mind some creative and interesting places to wander,
instead of thinking about your boring stuff all the time, or work, or
your commitments. Hobbies and crafts may do it for you, or you may
need separate time for those, and time to just watch a movie as well.

When can you fit this in? Often it’s in the evening, after kids are in
bed and chores all done, and before we go to bed ourselves. Maybe
you need to make a rule for yourself that you don’t do any more work
or chores after a certain time at night, and you take a little time for
yourself to unwind.

Or you might have a pocket of time during the day you can use, or a
piece of the weekend, or a combination. I think at least half an hour
every day is a minimum standard, and longer when you’re able to.
Put it into your daily routine, and any extra bits of time into your diary
or calendar for the week ahead.

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Chapter 8

Step 5: Planning time, goals and lists

Planning time

Regular time scheduled for planning is one of the most valuable


things you can have to be organized. To carry out all the suggestions
in this book, you’re going to need it too. You will need more planning
time at first until you’ve got things running as you want them, so even
if in the long run a weekly session is all you need, it might be best to
schedule daily sessions at first, because I don’t advise spending too
long on it at one time.

As a minimum, have a weekly planning session for the week ahead.


Schedule it in your diary or calendar. Friday is often a good time to
do it. It’s best not to spend more than an hour, or you risk getting all
bogged down with it. As you develop the habit of doing it every week,
it can be done more quickly and easily, especially if you have your
goals and tasks clearly defined. You need some quiet, uninterrupted
time to do this.

If you have a lot going on it may be necessary to also have a daily


planning session. If so, you should still have the weekly one, and use
the daily one to refine some of the details as the week develops.

As with everything, don’t obsess and spend too long on it in one go.
You don’t have to have a perfect plan, and you’ll be doing it every
week, so you have the opportunity to refine and improve the process
gradually over time.

What you use this time for is this:

• Rewrite your weekly routine tasks for the coming week (or if
you use an electronic calendar, use the repeat function).

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• Review your appointments and commitments for the coming
week.
• Review your task list.
• Review your goals.
• Schedule in some tasks, in order of priority.
• Review your routines.
• Check your lists, and transfer information to the appropriate list,
or to your diary or calendar.

I’ll be talking more about goals and lists shortly.

That’s it. Put a time limit on it and keep it simple. Stop worrying
about the things you haven’t done, and just stick to the plan.
Whatever got missed, check that it’s still correct and worthwhile
(remember, don’t re-make good decisions) and schedule it again,
unless something else has now taken priority.

Think of the daily and weekly routines and schedules you have made
as a framework to help keep you on track. It is there to work for you,
not the other way around.

When you write it all down like this, you might be surprised how much
or how little time there is to spare. It helps you think about how your
life is balanced at the moment. It might make you realise why certain
times of the day just weren’t working for you before, and you might
even re-think the whole thing when you see it written down for the
first time. It’s can look pretty scary at first to have it all detailed like
this. That’s ok; get your head around it slowly.

The idea is this:

1. You see all the things you want to get done written out so you
can see if it works realistically, and rearrange it til it does.

2. You have a reminder of your decision to include all these things


in your life. You know what you’re doing and why, and you can
work on making these things habitual.

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It looks like a drag to have everything written out like this? Not as
much of a drag as living with disorganization and not achieving what
you want in your life. As you make your routines habitual, you’ll rely
less on your schedule. The times only need to be a guide; you don’t
need to obsess over the exact times. The reason you write them
down though, is to see how it all fits into your day, and to use as a
reminder of what you want to get done each day. It’s also much
easier when you tend to do things in a certain order. Finding the
optimal order is worth doing, and finding the best amount of time to
devote to each activity will keep your life balanced.

Making and achieving your goals

Time allocated towards achieving your goals is very important. If


you don’t feel like you’re making any progress towards them it can be
very depressing and take the pleasure out of other things, and we
don’t want that. What we do want is that lovely feeling of satisfaction
we get from having achieved something we set out to.

So, allocate time each week to work on your goals. Some of it may
be able to be included in your daily routine, things like practice and
training. Other parts of goals need to be broken up into projects, and
those projects divided up into parts. These will end up as a list of
things to do, with a time estimate for each part.

When you list all your goals, they will be long term and short term,
and they need to be prioritized. It may not be possible to work on
them all at the same time. The amount of time allocated to them
each week should be in line with how important they are to you, and
where they come in your priorities.

The purpose of goals is not to make you happy one day in the future.
You need to be happy right now. So why have them? Well, if you
have goals, the right goals, they will give you purpose, focus and
motivation in your present moment. Carrying out activities you know
will lead you to achieving your goals should give you a positive
feeling that you’re doing something worthwhile and valuable.

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If you feel achieving your goals will only come about through suffering
and sacrifice, it’s just not gonna work out. You have a much better
chance of getting where you want if you make sure you’re enjoying
the process and the journey. This is a tricky concept, and pretty deep
I know, but I believe in it. It’s very hard to explain though.

Consider your goals with this in mind. Will they bring you happiness
right now? If you have the attitude that to achieve a certain goal will
involve unpleasant experiences, you’re not going to enjoy the
journey. This is important, because if you’re enjoying the journey,
you’re going to be much more successful at achieving your goals,
and much more productive in your everyday life, and of course, much
happier.

So how can a goal bring you happiness right now while you’re
working on it? By the knowledge and satisfaction of knowing you’re
using your time valuably, doing something productive and useful,
something you believe in. And by the knowledge that you will enjoy
the end result as well.

Another thing about setting goals is they need to be very specific.


We all tend to have a few big goals that will take a lot of time and
effort to achieve, and they need to be broken down into parts, then
those parts broken down into parts, and those parts allocated to
certain blocks of time. This is the difference between “wouldn’t it be
nice if” and actually achieving it. The smaller parts are like mini
goals. It can be a lot harder than you first realize identifying and
specifying the smaller parts of goals.

Your main goals should be written down, as specific as you can make
them, and have a time you want to achieve them by. They need to
be realistic and you need to really believe you can achieve them.
You also need to really believe they are worthwhile, that you deserve
them, and that nothing but good can come from you achieving them.
They can change and grow as you start working towards them, but
that doesn’t mean it’s ok to let them be vague.

As an example, say one of your goals was to learn to play the piano.
It’s hard to be very specific if you’re a complete novice, but you can

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envisage being able to play the piece at the end of your beginners
book by the end of the year. The parts of the goal might be to buy a
piano, find a piano teacher, and practice daily.

That needs breaking down into spending several shopping sessions


looking at pianos and seeking advice about the best choice, spending
several sessions making phone calls to look for a teacher and so on.
Those things would be tasks on your to do list. You would then
schedule them on your calendar, perhaps having to reschedule to
work on those things a few times until your piano had been delivered
and your lessons booked.

The practice sessions would then need to be scheduled as a


permanent part of your routine to be made a habit. When you have
reached the end of your first beginners’ book, you will know enough
to be able to set further goals for playing the piano. They might be
getting to the end of the next book, or learning a specific piece of
music, or passing a theory test.

The practice also needs to involve some pleasure, some fun, and
some little achievements along the way.

It’s important to have goals in your working life as well as in your


personal life, and they also need to be very specific and clearly
defined.

It’s easy to let goals be put off because of not following through with a
definite plan of achieving them. The grander, more complicated and
more involved the goal is the more planning is required. It’s not
always possible to plan every detail of something that may take years
to achieve, because you’re learning and adapting along the way, but
it’s still best to make every effort to detail as much as possible,
including time frames and resources needed.

The more you can focus your full attention on the goal and envisage
in as much detail as possible every little part of what you will need to
do, the better you will be able to accurately estimate how long it will
take and follow those details through. Not quite knowing how to go

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about achieving the goal is a common problem, and those who take
the trouble to work it out are the ones who will be successful.

So you need to spend quite a bit of time on planning your goals and
writing your to-do list or task list, and not all in one go. When you
have the goals and the to-do list written down, you need to outline the
timeframe for the items on the to-do list. This is a big task, and once
you have looked more closely at the time each of these things will
take, you may need to reassess the time frames for your goals. Can
you fit all these things into your schedule at the same time
realistically?

There is also a To Do list, whether you have it written down or not,


but I suggest you do, of little things that come up that aren’t directly
related to your goals. Have a think about these. They can be a form
of clutter that distracts you.

You might find a lot of these little things are actually tasks that would
be carried out as a normal part of your regularly scheduled ‘chores’
and that they will take care of themselves as long as you stick to your
routine of chores.

If they’re not, they are probably projects, things you wanted to get
done that are too big to be considered part of your routine, but too
small to have made it to your list of goals. I suggest you treat them
as shorter term goals. They deserve goal status because they need
to be broken up into parts and have time allocated for them.

Now think about that list of goals again and how important each of
them is to you. There are some that seem the hardest which are the
most important to you and scare you the most, and there are those
that you really want to do, and you don’t doubt you can do them, but
you keep putting them off because other ones take priority. But the
ones that take priority are too scary so you’re not getting very far on
any of them.

Think about all these goals in terms of chunks of time on a daily


basis. Today, tomorrow, the rest of this week. How many hours this
week do you have available to you for working towards these goals.

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Really think about it and try to get a realistic idea. Now which of
those goals deserve the most amounts of time, and which warrant
less time, but still deserve time allocating to them?

What I’m getting to is about prioritizing. Time should be allocated first


to those things that will make the biggest improvements. You may
have heard of the pickle jar theory. Your jar is your time. You fill it
with rocks until it seems full and you can’t get any more into it. Then
you add some pebbles until it seems again to be as full as it can get.
Then you add sand til it’s full to the brim. Then you add water. If you
put the water or sand or pebbles in first, you can’t get any rocks in.
The rocks go first, and you need to know what your rocks are.

Here’s a made up example. Say your goals are to be a teacher, to


get your garage cleaned out, to get fit, to learn to play the piano, to
learn to speak French, to sort out your photos and make scrapbooks,
and to train your dog to walk to heel. Your study for your teaching
qualification is your rock because your future income depends on it.
Playing the piano and speaking French and getting fit and training
your dog and clearing out your garage can all be included in your
routine. Sorting your photos and making scrapbooks are projects you
can work on.

Considering this list of goals, you work out you have too much in your
routine to include learning a language at the moment, so you put that
one on hold for now until your commitments are different, but you
have to walk your dog anyway so you do the training at the same
time and the exercise helps you get fit, and you do your garage
gradually as per the cyclical detailing described in chapter 6.

You have 2 hours a day you can use for your other goals, after
attending university and completing your daily and weekly items, so
you decide to spend that time as 2 daily 1 hour sessions studying for
your teaching degree, except on Thursdays when you work on your
photo project.

So, what are your goals, and what regular time do you have available
to spend on working towards them?

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Generally, it’s best to have one main goal at a time on the go, which
you devote as much time as you can to each week, as long as you’re
keeping your time balanced. Have a separate list of things to do for
this main goal. Have separate lists of things to do also for your
smaller goals, and regular but smaller blocks of time allocated for
them each week.

Managing your To Do list or Task list

Lists of little jobs you want or need to get done can build up and
build up, a bit like lists of things you need or want to buy. I do love a
list, but you need to be sensible about them and be in control of them,
not let them make you feel overwhelmed and hopeless.

The first thing is to identify the difference between a goal, a project


and a task or To Do item. It doesn’t matter what you call them,
they’re all things you want to get done. The difference is in how
much time they take.

Keep separate lists of things to do. One for each of your goals, and
one for miscellaneous or household items.

An item for your To Do list, is a task you can get done in one day,
generally part of a day, either a short time, or a morning or an
afternoon. If it takes longer than that, it’s really a project or a goal,
which needs breaking down into smaller parts.

When you have your list of things to do, you need to take control of it.

It’s very simple to do this. You give each item a priority number, a
due date if it has one, and a time estimate. If the time estimate is
more than a few hours, break it down further.

You keep a short list of your current top 10 items, top 5 items or top
20 items, depending on how quickly you’re turning them over.

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Each time you add a new task, you decide whether it is more
important than any of the tasks you have listed already, and mark it
6a, or 2b etc, in a different colour.

Rewrite your top 10 once a week when you do your planning for the
week, and schedule as many tasks as you realistically think you can
complete for the week ahead. Write them in your diary or calendar,
and have an idea where the block of time is going to be.

Make sure you are allocating the majority of the available time to your
one most important goal, and a smaller but regular amount of time to
everything else.

Lists

For your list of things to buy, keep two.One for things you need, like
new shoes for the kids, and one for things you want, like an iPod.
Prioritize these lists the same way as your To Do list, and keep a top
10. If there is ever anything on your need list, you don’t touch the
other one. Each time you come to do your budgeting, you plan what
purchases you are able to make for the coming week.

An ongoing gift list is a very useful thing to have too. A computer


document or a notebook where you keep a list of everyone you want
to give gifts to, what you gave them last time, ideas for gifts, things
you’ve already got put away, your gift budget and so on, is a very
good idea, especially if you have a lot of gifts to keep track of.

Other good lists to keep are books you want to read, movies you
want to watch, places you want to visit, words you want to look up,
subjects you want to Google and so on. Keeping a separate list for
each subject you tend to jot down notes about all over the place,
means you will actually be able to easily refer to that information
when you need to. Each time you think of something or jot something
down, add it to the appropriate list.

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Rather than carry a great big folder of lists around with you
everywhere, you could keep a small notebook where you jot down
ideas daily. Every day, or once a week, go through your notebook
and transfer the information to the appropriate list.

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Chapter 9

The division of household labour

Now I know I went on a lot earlier about not nagging or complaining


or trying to change others, however….

If you have shared a meal with someone, whether it’s your partner,
your kids, your family, your flatmate/housemate/room mate; it’s
perfectly reasonable to expect that everyone helps clean up
afterwards. Unless they are incapacitated in some way, or under the
age of 2, everyone can help. My 2 year old boy likes to take his plate
to the kitchen when he’s finished, although he’s not ‘required’ to,
because he sees everyone else doing it.

I know kids often object and complain when you ask them for help,
but it’s all in your confidence and your attitude. There are good
reasons why it’s good to expect them to help. You’ve been busy all
day too, and it’s teaching them consideration for others and basic
social and domestic skills.

Once you’ve got your reasons thought through, and you feel
confident about it, you simply expect it of them, and explain that what
happens is everyone helps clear up until it’s done. That includes
dishes, putting things away, cleaning the table, cleaning under the
table, taking the rubbish/trash out, wiping benches, the lot. If they are
taking too long, get your bits done and leave them to it, explaining
calmly and clearly exactly what’s expected. If you find them watching
TV or something, and they’ve not finished, just calmly send them
back to it.

Most reasonable partners will accept this as a normal thing to do


also, if both of you have been working all day (and looking after kids
and doing housework does count!). If getting help around the house
is an issue for you, this is a great place to start. Don’t nag, complain,
use guilt tactics, get angry and so on. Just expect it and insist. It’s

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surprising how quickly and efficiently it can all get done when
everyone helps.

I can imagine objections from homemakers whose partners work


hard, or work long hours, or both. I suppose the thing is, use your
judgement, and if you want help and it’s reasonable to expect it, just
ask for it. If you ask confidently, nicely, appreciatively and firmly,
you’ll be surprised how easy it is.

Apply this to anything you want help with. It’s not easy to get that
perfectly confident nicely but firmly way of asking, but keep working
on it. If it’s a fair thing, and you’ve asked nicely but confidently, it’s
not going to be easy to say no to you.

If your partner doesn’t do as much as you think they should,


complaining about it won’t help. Get your own act together first, then
when you have a very good idea of the number of hours involved,
think about it carefully taking into account how many hours of work
your partner currently does compared with yourself. Are they
contributing in ways you hadn’t thought of? Are you putting them off
helping out because you nag about it not being done how you like it?

You can’t change other people but you’ve got the best chance of
influencing them if you set an example. Having a goal of changing
other people is not healthy for you anyway.

With your partner, imagine they weren’t there at all and you had to do
it all yourself anyway. Remember that the reason the things are
being done is because it’s in your best interests for them to be done,
and you would be doing them anyway.

If your partner sees that you are getting your act together, that you’re
happy to be doing it, you’re doing it for yourself, and you’re not
nagging them, you’re very likely to be pleasantly surprised with how it
affects them. But affecting them can’t be your reason for doing it or it
won’t work.

When you have guests, of course you will often prefer to encourage
them to carry on while you clear up. Do what you feel comfortable

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with. There’s nothing wrong with accepting a little help if you could
do with it though.

When you’re the guest, it’s often a good idea to just use your own
judgement, and help without asking if you think it’s appropriate.
Some people are very uncomfortable accepting help if it’s offered, but
what can they do if you’re already on your way to the kitchen with a
stack of plates.

One thing which is always fair, however busy anyone is, is that each
member of a household who is old enough, should tidy up after
themselves and be responsible for their own things. With your
children, calmly insisting on this before they are allowed to have free
time, will get them into good habits, and give them a valuable life skill.

If it’s your partner leaving shoes, jackets, papers, dishes and rubbish
all over the place, it’s a tricky one. As I’ve said, nagging and
complaining don’t work, but it’s no fun constantly having to clean up
somebody else’s mess or putting up with the clutter.

There are a few different ways to approach it. One is to just leave it
where it is, unless you have to pick it up or you’d run out of dishes,
another is to ask, firmly but nicely, for them to put their things away,
another is to put their things away for them, and another is to pick up
all the items, but not put them away, leaving them gathered in a box
or basket. Possibly a combination of these things, but remember:

- Don’t ever ask someone to pick up after themselves if you have


not fully done so yourself.

- If you are going to ask, make it about something very specific.


For example, as your partner goes to leave the room, ask
“would you please take your shoes with you”, or “don’t forget
your shoes”. Ask in a friendly and positive way, and not in a
critical way, and always be polite. Make these reminders on a
daily basis if necessary, but not too frequently.

- Don’t ever complain, whine or nag. Don’t generalise, criticize,


or use guilt tactics. It won’t work, and it will hurt you.

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- Don’t be a martyr. It won’t help anyone. If you behave like
someone’s personal servant, you’re inviting them to treat you
that way. If you’re trying to prove you’re better than someone
else, you’re only hurting yourself.

- There’s no reason people can’t do nice things for each other


sometimes. Why not put someone’s clothes away in the drawer
for them if you know they’re rushed, tired or unwell today. Why
not pick up someone’s keys and put them in the designated
spot before they get lost.

Switching between activities

Changing from one activity to another can be tricky. It’s often hard to
let go of what you’re doing, stop, know that you can come back to it
and get on to the next thing. You need a strategy, a method to help
the transition.

It’s not easy to switch from concentrating on work or study to looking


after your kids or talking to your partner or giving your full attention to
your pets or your friend or your home. You need to ease into it, let
your headspace clear and make a definite transition out of what you
were doing and into the next activity.

If you don’t, what tends to happen is you spend too long on what you
were doing, becoming less productive, tired, bored, and disheartened
that you are now making less progress. As events around you force
you to switch activities, you haven’t fully packed up the previous one,
or switched off your attention and stopped thinking about it, meaning
you do badly at the next thing because you’re not really “there”. You
can’t give either thing your full attention.

If you go out to your job or to a class or something, and then you


come home, it might be easier to define the different areas, different
roles, different activities. Although even then, of course, some people
still don’t switch off. They keep thinking about work, bring it home
with them and so on.

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If you are self employed or working from home, it can be even more
difficult because you are the one in charge, there’s nobody or nothing
else to tell you when it’s knock off time and the next thing starts.

This even applies to different activities within one role. If you’re doing
housework, you need to switch from cooking to laundry to cleaning
the floors to tidying up to de-cluttering to detailing one room and so
on.

If you’re studying you need to switch from one subject to another. If


you’re working you need to switch from maintenance to
administration to customer service to problem solving to product
development to professional development activities.

Here’s a good suggestion for making more effective transitions


between activities.

Stop what you’re doing before the allocated time is up, say 15
minutes, and do the following:

- Plan what you will do when the next session comes around.

- Know what your next activity is.

- Fully pack up whatever materials you were using.

- Take a short break and do something different in between to


clear your head, whilst keeping the next activity in mind. Such
as have a drink, go to the loo, freshen up, stretch, go for a short
walk etc.

For any of this to work, you must first be aware of how long you
planned to spend doing what you were doing. What was the block of
time you had allocated, and when is it over?

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Chapter 10

How much can you do whilst caring for children?

When you’re looking after children, one thing that makes it harder to
get things done is that you have to switch your concentration so
frequently. You start doing some washing and stop because your
child needs you. Then you get them settled and go back to it, or not,
because you’ve forgotten what you were doing, and so your day goes
all day. There are often long stretches of time where you can’t be
alone at all or enjoy the peace of your own thoughts or some adult
conversation. Even going to the bathroom has to be rushed and
carefully timed.

Just getting through your basic housework when you are caring for
children requires a tenacity I feel is not really acknowledged in our
society. How do you make a bed with little ones unmaking it or
jumping on it at the same time? How do you cook if you don’t have a
way of keeping your little ones away from the stove? How do you
clean a floor that’s covered in toys faster than you can pick them up?

Any ordinary ‘non-superhuman’ parent knows sometimes you just


cant, so you end up with some things attempted and half finished,
and others left until the kids are asleep, when you’d really like to be
relaxing and putting your feet up, not continuing to work after the 12
straight hours you’ve just done.

Yes, looking after pre-school children full time is a 12 hour day, at the
very least, if you’re lucky enough that they sleep well at night. You
can’t realistically get much more done than some light housework or
small tasks you can do a bit at a time with constant interruptions.

You just have to accept it, spread your tasks out, know your
limitations, let some things go, and know that looking after the kids
just has to come first. They’ll be big kids who can do many more
things for themselves in the blink of an eye, and those mystery stains
on the couch are really not so important in the bigger picture.

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Sticking with your basic daily routines will make it easier for you.

Looking after children is highly valuable work. Be kind to yourself,


give yourself credit, try to laugh, and marvel at how tough, generous
and resourceful it’s made you. Take the time to appreciate that you
are experiencing the world though their eyes, and how much
priceless wisdom that gives you.

Above all, you need to nurture your own confidence, because this is
commonly a time when it’s shaken up. Stick to your routines to make
things easier for yourself, take the best possible care of yourself, and
have confidence in your own judgement and decisions, as long as
they are exercised and made when you are in a positive frame of
mind.

Children and household chores

Having children do some household chores and be responsible for


some of their own things, is about teaching them basic life skills, a
sense of responsibility, a sense of fairness, and respect for others.

If you were so rich you never had to work again and could afford all
the household staff you wanted, wouldn’t you still want your children
to have a basic grasp of the requirements of running a house and
caring for themselves? Wouldn’t you still think it was better for them
not to have everything done for them?

Well that’s how I feel about it. Getting my children to wash dishes
and things like that is something I put off for ages because I hated
having to show them how, do what they missed, be called every few
minutes and so on. They would think this was ridiculous and insane,
and wouldn’t believe me, but I make them do the dishes more for
their benefit than mine.

If your children have chores, discuss with them how it should be


handled if they forget to do them. Agree on one reminder only, or no
reminders, and loss of pocket money or privileges if they’re not done,

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or that they’re not to complain if you do remind them. If they’re
involved in deciding how it’s dealt with and you agree together, then
it’s decision making that’s already been done and they can’t complain
about it.

Food preparation, helping clean up after meals, washing dishes,


folding washing, keeping their room tidy, bringing their washing to the
laundry, setting the table, taking rubbish out, feeding and caring for
pets, raking leaves, helping with the daily quick tidy up, and even
some cleaning tasks when they’re old enough, are all suitable tasks.
It’s worth rotating and changing them from time to time, so that each
child gains experience in doing a variety of tasks and learns the skills
involved.

As with yourself, think about the amount of time involved when


allocating chores to your children. They need time to relax, to do
homework, for their extra activities, their hobbies, and socializing with
friends and family too. Encourage them to complete the tasks at
routine times.

It takes patience and can be frustrating teaching a child how to do


some things, especially if they’re not too keen. Go easy on yourself
and don’t expect too much of yourself all at once. You don’t have to
get it all perfect in one hit. Just start with one small thing, like them
helping clear up after each meal, and doing the dishes one night a
week, or whatever you’re comfortable with.

With your children you need to find gentle and suitable ways of
teaching them; nagging and complaining isn’t the answer. The rule in
our house is simply that your homework has to be done and your
room tidy and so on before you have free time, and having the kids
follow the routine set for them is something I have to discipline myself
to do. Your kids can see that you are in charge, and that things will
happen the way you have decided is right, and that will give them
confidence in you and make them feel safe.

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Working from home whilst caring for children

The advice I’ve tried to find about working from home when you’re
looking after children suggests things like having a separate home
office and making it off limits, asking your partner to communicate
with you via text message, and equally useless advice applicable only
to those whose children are merely under the same roof and being
cared for by someone else.

In the real world, many people who work from home are either single
parents, or stay at home parents with their partner out at work. We
don’t often get to have any uninterrupted time, which is why we’re
working from home in the first place.

Working from home is not the easy magic fix to all the problems of
inequality and childcare it’s made out to be, but still the best possible
solution for many people, and I do believe the benefits far outweigh
the disadvantages, if you approach it the right way and stay positive.

Here are some suggestions for days when you have work you need
to do at home but you’re taking care of children as well.

- Know your limitations. How many hours of actual work time do


you really have available to you? Don’t forget you’ve got to
change nappies, do laundry, prepare meals, stop and play,
clean up messes, help with homework, hear about their day at
school and so on, and you will need time to relax yourself at
some stage too. If you are able to do 2 full hours of work in a
day, whether it’s in bits and pieces or 2 or 3 blocks, you’re
doing well. Aim for a realistic amount of good quality work
completed in the day rather than trying to ‘work all day’ but not
actually get much done.

- It’s all in the planning. If you know exactly what tasks you want
to accomplish each day, you have a much better chance of
getting them done with all the other stuff going on. Don’t forget,
planning is an important task in itself. I’ll say that again.
Planning is one of your most important and valuable tasks. If

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you do get any uninterrupted time, this might be the best way to
use it, because it’s easier to do things with interruptions if it’s in
very clearly defined and specific small pieces.

- Perhaps your opportunities are something like this: 30 minutes


after they’ve gone to bed to plan your activities for the next day.
30 minutes of reading before bed yourself. 45 minutes after
cleaning up from breakfast when you’ve got them settled
happily playing, and know that this may be shorter or longer
depending on what happens, 1 hour or more after lunch if they
go for a nap, and bits and pieces of 5 minutes here and there
throughout the day when you can answer emails and so on.
Perhaps you’ll get 4 or 5 bursts of 20 minutes or so if you plan
their toys and activities well.

- Some people are better than others at concentrating with


distractions. If you really need regular uninterrupted time, plan
it as practically as you can, either at nap time, early morning, or
after they’re in bed, or while they’re at pre-school or school, and
use that time only for important tasks you need to concentrate
on.

- Don’t try to do all your work after they’ve gone to bed, and have
no time for relaxing. You need at least some block of personal
time to relax, even if it’s just to have a shower without being
rushed and put your feet up for half an hour.

- Plan the types of work activities you will do for suitable times.
When you’re busy and can’t avoid interruptions, don’t involve
yourself in something which requires your full concentration.
Do easy things you can more readily let go of.

- Keep a list of tasks going all the time and keep it updated.
Prioritize them. Detail them as much as possible.

- If you have to make phone calls, schedule them for quiet times.
If you have to receive phone calls while you have toddlers
present, my heart goes out to you. I’d look for ways of avoiding

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it as much as possible, or make yourself available at very
specific times.

- Make some definite boundaries for yourself, starting with your


desk. Don’t allow kids to leave anything on your desk. Always
remove things straight away (nicely and tactfully of course).
Even very young children can learn that some things are just
Mummy’s or Daddy’s and are not to be messed with.

- If you’ve got older kids who don’t have to have your constant
supervision, but still interrupt you a lot, schedule some time
when you’re not to be disturbed, and be fully available to them
the rest of the time, and make sure everybody is clear about
what’s been decided.

- Be honest with clients and business contacts about your


situation. It’s not something to be embarrassed about; you
should be proud to be lucky enough to have children and of the
effort you’re making to care for them and provide for them. If
anyone doesn’t appreciate that, that’s their stuff.

- If you have space for more than one desk or table in your work
area, consider having a second computer there for your kids to
use. (Give them yours when you upgrade). They can ask you
the occasional question and you can guide them whilst doing
other things.

- Kids can adapt, understand and accept, even appreciate that


you work from home, if you have a positive attitude about it and
make sure you give them plenty of time when you’re fully
available, and partly available. Know the difference between
those times, and your kids soon will too. They can learn to
understand that if you’re on the phone or frantically typing, they
need to wait a minute, as long as you acknowledge them fully
as soon as you’re done.

- Keep tissues, baby wipes, drawing paper, crayons or pencils,


snacks (hidden) and a water bottle etc within easy reach of your
desk.

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- Go out for a walk. It gets the kids out and can give you some
thinking time to clear your head or let a problem solve itself.

- If some of your work can be done away from the computer, try
it. Sometimes I can read in the kitchen while I’m waiting for
water to boil. Some tasks can be done from printed pages
while I’m waiting outside ballet class, or sitting outside while the
kids play.

- If you’re breastfeeding, I have heard of people who’ve learned


how to set themselves up with both hands free for the
computer, but I found that too difficult. It is possible to do low
typing tasks with the mouse and one handed typing though.
Although left handed mousing is pretty tricky if you’re right
handed, and vice versa. But if you know your baby is going to
be there for a long time, you can support her with a pillow to
free up your arm. It can be a great time to get some quiet
reading done too.

- Don’t forget to get up and away from the computer after a while,
even if you don’t have to because of the kids. You need a
stretch, a break, a change in the distance your eyes are
focussing on.

- Have special toys set aside to play with only during your work
time (i.e. the allocated part of the day for trying to focus, not all
day) and put it away at other times.

- Let them play with your junk mail, and have some stationary
items it’s ok for them to play with, within reason.

- Let the kids know when you will be finished working, and
honour your promise.

- Have several times throughout the day when you stop and fully
play with the kids, getting right down on the floor with them and
getting involved. The break will do you good as well as them,
and they’ll often play quietly for longer if you get them started
on something.

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- Keep weekends and evenings free if you can. If you really
need to do some work at these times, set a time, limit it, and let
your family know when this time is. Don’t be tempted to go
over time, only do those essential things. When you’re self
employed or working from home, it can be difficult to set
boundaries so that your work doesn’t infringe on your personal
life, but it’s very important that you do.

Children and routines


They thrive on them, and it makes them feel safe and secure.
Children love things to be predictable, and love to laugh at the same
family jokes over and over.

I’ve talked a lot about routines in this book, and if you have children,
that’s just one more reason why they’re good for you. Your children
know what to expect, when and how you have your meals, specific
times when they know they can expect you to spend fun time with
them, when they have their bath, when their bedtime is and so on.

Routines when you have children make things so much easier for you
too, because there’s so much going on, so much distraction, that the
less thinking you have to do, and the more your daily tasks are on
auto pilot, the more smoothly and calmly these things get done.

It’s fun when your child is so used to your family routine, that he tells
you it’s time to get ready for bed, or time for his sisters to come home
from school, and is delighted when he’s been able to take the
initiative on something and been praised for getting it right.

I’ve been through all this with my school aged children, and still do,
but with my three little ones, having them all so close together in age
is like having this concept about routines and how they imitate my
behaviour really made obvious to me in a magnified way. I’m
astonished sometimes at how every little thing I handle well during
each day pays off before my very eyes.

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Chapter 11

Summary

When you’ve worked through my suggestions above, you should


have the following in place:

1. You’ve established basic daily routines, your morning, work


day, afternoon/evening and before bed routines. These are
things you have decided are absolutely your bare minimum.
You don’t need to make these decisions again.

They can be very hard to stick to, but you are achieving it by
concentrating on one thing at a time until it has become an
established habit, then concentrating on the next thing.

Just establishing these daily routines alone, will make a huge


difference to how smoothly and easily your life runs itself.

2. You’ve established your basic weekly routine, adding other


essential things that need doing on a regular basis, but less
often than daily. You worked out what these things were,
estimated how much time they needed, and allocated times for
them. You don’t spend excessive amounts of time on these
things, you have limits. They’re scheduled in your diary,
calendar or planner.

3. You’ve scheduled regular time for detailed cleaning. It’s done


on a rotation basis, room by room, concentrating on one room
each week or something similar. You use this time to de-clutter
first, then to tidy and arrange things, not starting the detailed
cleaning til these things are done. This part is easy and fun
because it’s just a small but regular time commitment.

4. You added some extra details to your routines, but the basic
ones you started with always take priority. You’ve included

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time for your health and spiritual needs, your family and friends,
and relaxing and having fun.

5. You’ve scheduled time for planning, for working towards your


goals, and for completing items on your To Do lists. You know
how to make and manage your lists.

What you now have is your own personal structure that works for you
and allows you to be organized. It can always be changed and
improved, but you will always have it. You won’t change decisions
you’ve made that were good decisions and don’t need changing.

You will have less and less clutter in your life, and you will let go of
the mental clutter like perfectionism and resentment that held you
back before. You’ll keep in mind the reasons for the decisions you’ve
made, prioritize, and balance your time. You’ll keep it simple. As
soon as you have made just one thing become a habit, you will be
hooked on the idea and thrilled with how well it works. You’re
cruising.

A few key things to remind yourself as you go along


• Habits help you if they’re the right ones. When something
becomes a habit, the subconscious is taking it over for you and
it happens automatically and easily. You can control what
things you want your subconscious to take care of, and what
responsibilities you’re taking off it because it needs re-directing.

• You want to be enjoying the journey, the process, the routine.


All of it. That’s what you’re aiming for. You want to get to the
point where nothing you do feels like drudgery or makes you
feel resentful or feels like a chore. You take pleasure in
everything you do because you know why you’re doing it.

• You don’t have to be perfect. Don’t let perfectionism stop you


from getting on with things. Let go of the ‘all or nothing’
syndrome.

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• Don’t abandon the whole plan just because you haven’t
managed one small part of it yet.

• Set the standards in your home by setting an example. Don’t


complain or nag. Do it for yourself because you like it that way.

• When you are finding it hard to start something, break through


the barrier by setting out do it just for a very short time, or just
one very small part of it, just this once.

• Don’t do anything for too long, even if you’re enjoying it or


finding it very satisfying. It may feel like you’re getting a lot
done now, but it will burn you out and upset your habits system
and your balance of time, and it will make it harder to start the
same thing again next time, because your subconscious thinks
it will take that long every time.

• Spending regular appropriate time on each of your important


activities is what you’re aiming for. Use the time boxing
technique. Instead of writing in your diary that you want to
complete a task, write that you’re going to spend X amount of
time on it, and do as much as you can within that time.

• It’s better to do some things, particularly housework, badly or


incompletely, than not at all. A job worth doing is not worth
doing so well that we spend excessive amounts of time on it
and neglect other things, but it’s still a job worth doing.

• Letting go of clutter will free you, physically and mentally.

• To be helpful to others, you must first take care of yourself.


Caring about yourself sets a good example for your children,
and teaches others to treat you well.

• Your motivation for doing something should be a conscious


recognition that it is in your best interests. Beware negative,
subconscious or passive motivation.

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• If you fall off the wagon, don’t try to catch up. Just start from
where you are now in your routine. Whatever you missed will
come up again next time.

• Learn to recognize your feelings, feel them, and let them go.
Learn strategies to lift your feelings to more positive levels
when you need to. Make decisions only when you are feeling
positive.

• Only hang on to stuff that is earning it’s keep in your life. Does
the object bring you pleasure, or guilt and worry?

• Value your own time, and allocate it sensibly.

• Looking your best makes you feel better, and you’re worth it.

• Become more aware of decision making as part of your life.


Make decisions quickly and change them slowly.

• A stitch in time saves nine. (Only joking, not that it isn’t true
though).

If you have a long way to go, remember the goal is to change your
habits, and that’s something where you can see a result right now,
and more results every day.

It’s you that’s becoming organized. Your surroundings get that way
as a side effect. It’s a way of life, and the purpose of is to bring you
more peace, not more stress.

How do you do a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle? One piece at a time,


and a little every day, taking pleasure in the process.

I wish you the very best. Stay happy, because it’s better for you and
makes the world a better place.

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Feedback, comments, questions? getmyselforganized@gmail.com

About the Author

Yvette Langmaid-Buttery lives in Melbourne, Australia with her 5


children, 2 Burmese cats and an Eclectus parrot. There are plans to
add a dog to the family as soon as they think they’re ready.

Self improvement and psychology in general have always been an


interest of Yvette’s, and she’s read books about these things since
her parents first started bringing them home when she was a child,
from Dale Carnegie to books about Jung.

Writing lists, organizing, and finding the best way to do things, are
things Yvette’s always been obsessed with. At the same time, she’s
easily distracted and frustrated, has a short attention span and a
tendency to perfectionism, and not in a good way.

Knowing many others share her struggles, feeling she’s learned a lot
in her life so far, and because she enjoys writing, Yvette decided to
write about the subject she’s most absorbed with and share her
thoughts on the matter of organization.

As well as lists and organizing things, she’s also obsessed with


aesthetics, and is often compelled to rearrange the furniture or shop
for fabulous pretty coloured sparkly things.

A brave and capable woman, Yvette is not afraid to do scary things


like installing hardware in her own computer, or writing a book and
publishing it on the internet. Ok, that last part is a lie. She was very
afraid, but did it anyway. She also thinks she’s funny, and finds it
strange writing about herself in the third person as she is now.

Yvette has plans to write more stuff in the future.

Organized for Life copyright © 2007 Yvette Langmaid-Buttery


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www.getmyselforganized.com

Organized for Life copyright © 2007 Yvette Langmaid-Buttery


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