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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any
means, without written permission from the author and publisher Yvette Langmaid-
Buttery, other than the purchaser printing a copy for their own use. Reproduction or
copying of this book in whole or in part without written permission from the author and
publisher is prohibited, and violators will be prosecuted.
LEGAL INFORMATION:
This book was written for the purpose of providing help, guidance and motivation in
getting organized. It is not intended to be taken as the word of a professional in the
legal, medical, financial, or any other field, and no responsibility is accepted. The book
is written based on the opinions of the author and is intended to be helpful only.
Contents
Welcome to the second edition 9
Introduction 10
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Causes of disorganization 26
Accepting responsibility 27
Feelings 29
Self image 32
Indecision 33
Perfectionism and ‘all or nothing’ mentality 36
Procrastination 38
Guilt 40
Distraction 41
Giving up 43
Inertia, inability to get started 43
Time management, getting the balance right 45
Motivation 49
In summary 52
If you’re really struggling 53
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Summary 203
A few key things to remind yourself as you go along 204
Don’t let the level of content put you off or make you feel
overwhelmed. It’s an easy read, and it doesn’t matter how long it
takes you to get through all the steps, just that you make a start with
the first one and take it from there.
I’ve really enjoyed writing this book. I’ve written as if I’m talking to
myself, which I am. I need this advice as much as you do. Keeping
my own life organized is always a work in progress. What I’ve written
here is just what I say to myself as I go along trying to keep it all
together, keep my life balanced and get ahead with the things I want
to do.
We all have different things going on in our lives, but living as well as
we can comes down to pretty much the same sorts of things for many
of us. I hope you’ll find things you can relate to in this book and be
inspired to take steps to make your own life easier and more
enjoyable through organization.
And our homes are not the only areas of our lives that benefit from
being organized. We also have our parenting, work, study, leisure
time, social and family life, hobbies, health, and goals.
Although this book goes into a lot of detail about identifying and
making decisions about every little area of your life, I’m not about
getting all obsessed with lists for their own sake. I’m a self confessed
obsessive list maker, in remission, and they can either be very useful
So what do you want to get out of this e-Book? How about this:-
You know exactly what you’re doing each day and why you’re doing
it. (The why is very important).
You can still be flexible, in fact you’ll be more flexible and adaptable
than before, where you choose to be, but you won’t be meandering
along just letting life happen to you. Being organized allows you
more freedom, not less, or you’re not doing it right.
You’re the one in the driver’s seat. It’s your life. Tidy it up and make
it nice for yourself, so you can stop being distracted by all the niggly
details and get on with the business of being happy. Because being
happy is what it’s all about.
You can start as small as you like, and extend those skills on as large
a scale as you like. The smallest improvement towards organization
can make a huge difference to your life.
Let’s do it.
You don’t have to feel guilty. Not necessary any more. You’ve done
what you committed to do and you’re confident in your decisions.
And the main reason for that is that you’ve actually made decisions,
so you’re quite clear about what you’re doing.
You feel on top of things and that you’re getting ahead as well. You
enjoy the feeling of knowing that each day you’ve made progress,
achieved something, taken a step in the right direction. You can see
the achievement of your goals as attainable, and you’re enjoying the
journey.
You’re proud of your home, and it’s a lovely, comfortable and relaxing
place for you and your family. Keeping it clean, tidy and organized is
something that just happens, easily. You keep it that way because
you like it that way. You do it for yourself.
You know where to find things, and it’s natural for you to put things
where they go, because you know this makes it easier for you. Your
belongings all have a place where they go.
Your finances are in order. You know what’s coming in and going out
and where you’ll be financially in 3 months time, 6 months time and
so on. Money is not something you have to worry about at all,
because you’ve already had a good look at your finances, made
suitable plans, and have an ongoing system and routine for sticking
to your plan and managing your money.
You’re relationships run smoothly and you spend time with those
people you want to spend time with. The time you spend with your
family and friends is more enjoyable and relaxed because you’re not
worrying about all the little details of running your life.
You’re happy with the balance of how you spend your time in all
areas of your life, and don’t feel guilty or worried about neglecting
things.
What more does anybody really want? If you know what you’re doing
and why you’re doing it, you’ve eliminated a great deal of stress and
self doubt. It means you’ve made some decisions and you’re happy
with them, and those decisions, if acted upon, will bring you the
If we’re using our time well, carrying out the best possible decisions
we’ve made, we should be living as happily as we are able to, and on
the right path to growing and improving ourselves in the ways we
want to.
Being organized can mean all sorts of things. Some might think it’s
just about having your belongings stored in an orderly way and using
a calendar or appointment diary correctly. Those things are part of it,
but to be able to do those things, you need to first have a basic grasp
of time management.
Being organized means you’re in control. You can find all your stuff,
you can get stuff done, and most importantly, you know what stuff
you’re doing. That’s it.
Being organized can be quite simple, but when you’re not, it certainly
doesn’t seem that way. It really can seem rather daunting.
Sometimes the simplest things seem overwhelming. The thought of
getting dressed or cleaning up after breakfast seems too much to
face. Other times we just work and work and can’t seem to stop.
A lot of us have ups and downs like this as part of the everyday
business of living. Every day we’re confronted by negative influences
from outside, from those around us and the media, and also from our
own internal stores of negativity. These things can be overcome, not
just by changing our thinking, but by creating habits, routines and
systems for ourselves that just make things automatic.
Knowing what organized looks like doesn’t always help us live that
way. Some people struggle to keep it up, or only manage it in some
areas of their life. Others just let things happen and suffer the
consequences, not feeling they’re capable of changing. And just
letting things happen leads to disorganization, and in case you didn’t
know, disorganization looks like this:
Being late for work, looking like you got dressed in the dark,
overstuffed bags with things falling out of them, sinks full of dirty
dishes, kitchen benches covered in stuff, a dirty floor, things growing
on things, in the fridge, in the bathroom, overflowing rubbish bins, bad
hair days, ill fitting clothes, missing buttons, unopened mail that’s
scary, lots of pizza boxes, sitting in your dressing gown all day, very
bad smells from various parts of the house and in your car, overdue
work or study assignments, frequent lateness and missed
appointments, furniture and even whole rooms not being used
Some people may do really well in one area of their lives but badly in
others. For some people it’s really just cleaning that they struggle
with, and there are some pretty extreme examples on that TV show
How Clean Is Your House.
Other people might have things really clean, but they’re always late,
or keep running out of petrol, or tend to forget things. Some people
will clean excessively as a way of avoiding other things. Others
swing between doing things perfectly and not doing them at all.
A person who is happy and in control of their own life, will naturally
look after themselves and their surroundings, and someone who is
not doing so well will tend to ‘let themselves go’, and neglect their
surroundings as well.
Isn’t it boring?
Tidiness and the absence of clutter, will actually free you up and
reduce stress. That’s really difficult for hardened hoarders to get their
head around, but it’s true.
Having a set way of doing mundane but essential things, that make
your life more pleasant and easy, frees you from having to make
those boring little decisions over and over again on a daily basis.
When you’ve gone through the steps I describe in this book, you may
worry about the sheer volume of things you have written down,
especially if you have a very busy life.
It’s just a tool though. It’s there to help you fully assess everything
you’ve got going on and everything you want to do, and find a way to
make it work and reduce un-necessary decision making.
Not having to think or put much effort into the routine stuff frees your
creativity and energy for whatever matters the most to you. Your life
is less boring when you get it organized. Honestly.
Forming habits
Each time we come to do this thing, again and again, we don’t have
to work out and decide all over again how we’re going to do it. We
just do it without thinking. It’s easy, because we’ve done it so many
times before and it’s just automatic.
Things like brushing your teeth, backing your car out of the driveway,
making your morning cuppa. Think of all the skills you have learned
in your life. You can read and write, maybe drive a car, play an
instrument, touch type, or cook.
You had to put some effort into learning those skills, but once you
learned them, you didn’t have to learn them all over again each time
you needed to use them. You just do it automatically now, and with
experience you get better at it.
When we follow our habitual ways we don’t have to think. And your
habits can be whatever you choose. You have full control over what
they become. So if you add more of the little practical things to your
‘auto pilot programme’ so you don’t have to think about them, you’ll
sail along with less effort expended on routine things, and can apply
your effort and direct your attention to more important things,
whatever they are for you.
The more things there are in your life where you don’t have a system
in place, the more you will be interrupted by the need to make a
decision, and the more you will tend to put off making one.
When you don’t know ‘automatically’ what to do, you feel indecision
and self doubt, and you’re confronted with not just the task of doing
whatever it is you need to do, you’re also confronted with the task of
deciding what you will do, how you will do it, when you should do it,
whether you can do it, whether you should do it and so on.
You don’t have to get rid of old habits; you just replace them with new
ones. When you successfully form a new habit, your subconscious
mind takes it over for you. Your patterns of thought are altered, with
all the little electrical signals that go on in your brain, and it just gets
easier and easier and more automatic.
Lots of old but good self help and motivational books will tell you that,
and it really is true. Once you make something a habit, it can
become nice and easy, second nature. The reason it becomes easy
after a month is that your subconscious accepts it as normal and
takes over for you, to free up your conscious mind for other things. It
just seems to take about a month.
Think about playing the piano. In order to be creative with it you have
to have the basic skill first. That means your subconscious mind
knows where all the notes are; you’re not having to use your
conscious mind to find them.
It’s like a walking path. You follow the existing one because it’s wide
and easy to see, but there’s a much better route to your destination
which is overgrown with weeds and harder to see. If you walk the
new route consistently, every day without fail, within a few weeks
weeds have grown on the old one and the new one is clear. It’s so
clear you can walk it without thinking.
Decision making
If you’ve already made one, and it was made while you were feeling
positive, and there’s no important new information or situation now
that affects it, trust your own judgement and follow that decision.
If you do need to make a decision, set aside time to make it, whether
it’s a few seconds or a few hours. Can you do it right now or do you
need to set aside a time? Make sure you’re feeling positive if it’s
something important.
5. The decision has made itself, based on your values and beliefs
and the information you have available.
If you’ve made a decision and you’re confident with it, write it down if
you might need to remember the details of what it was. It might
simply be related to the routines you’re going to develop after reading
this book, or it might be detailed instructions on the best way to
complete a complicated task you have to repeat.
Remember, the idea is to not have to waste time making the same
decisions over and over again, and to feel more confident in the
decisions you have made, so it’s easier to carry them out without
doubting yourself.
The very first thing I suggest you do for this process of becoming
organized is to make sure you have some kind of calendar or diary in
use. It’s absolutely essential. In case this isn’t obvious to you, here’s
my argument. If you glance at your diary or calendar and there was
nothing there you needed reminding of, you’ve wasted 3 seconds of
your time. If you didn’t look, or didn’t even have one to look at, the
consequences could definitely be worse than 3 wasted seconds.
Calendars and diaries are a great tool. They allow you to plan the
best time to do things, keep track of your commitments, and see what
time you have available. They also allow you to keep records and
notice patterns. For example, making a note of when health
symptoms occur can assist you in identifying triggers.
You may only need one, or you may need several. The more you
have though, the more there are to check and keep updated, and the
more room there is for error. So make sure your diary/calendar set
up is as simple and logical as possible. These are the
considerations:
The best wall calendars are the ones with the biggest possible
spaces to write in, and make sure there's always a pen or pencil
handy. If you’re into stickers, and most kids certainly are, these can
be fun and handy for a family calendar. If you keep a personal one
as well, you’ll need to remember to add what’s needed to the family
calendar on a regular basis.
Our family calendar has reminders for which night the rubbish goes
out, birthdays, school events, doctor’s appointments, social events,
school term dates, play groups and so on. It has the days of the
month going from top to bottom in a vertical linear fashion, with a
I also need my own calendar, and the older kids have their own
school diaries. Because my computer is on all day, that’s what I use
for my personal calendar. It has more of my personal and business
stuff that’s not relevant to everyone else in the house. It also has
room for more detail that wouldn’t fit on a wall calendar. My mobile
phone has a calendar function, and plugs into my computer for
updates. I think I’m getting the hang of it, but I still have times when I
miss having a paper diary. Is it easier to turn pages or tap little
buttons? The jury’s out.
So, the very first thing for you to do towards being more organized, is
to make sure you have a diary or a calendar in use. If you don’t, go
and get one as soon as possible. If you first need to decide what kind
to use, refer to the section above on decision making.
One more thing. To follow my suggestions in this book, you will need
room to write in quite a few things when planning your week ahead.
If you use a paper diary, you’ll probably need at least 10 lines or so
per day, depending how busy your schedule is. A wall calendar
alone will probably not be enough.
Causes of disorganization
• From within. They are not anything outside us. It may seem
like it’s about other people, work, kids, money and outside
things, but it’s not.
• Indecision.
• Procrastination.
• Guilt.
• Distraction.
• Giving up.
• Lack of motivation.
Notice I didn’t say laziness. Yes I suppose there are lazy people in
the world, but you’re not one of them. You’re reading this book so
I’m going to talk about the points above now. I hope you’ll read this
and get that nice feeling of realizing you knew this, and it makes
sense to you.
Accepting responsibility
You can’t change other people, and you’ve got to stop wanting to.
Did you get that? It’s not them, it’s you. You don’t have control over
other people and you shouldn’t want to, but you should aspire to have
control over yourself. Of course you can have a positive influence on
others, and the better you are at being the best version of yourself,
the more you will influence others positively.
You can teach others and share information with them, guide them,
show them, but if they’re going to change it will be because they want
to. It’s detrimental to all for your focus to be on how you think others
are hindering you or causing you problems. They’re not, you are.
This can be a very difficult concept to grasp, but if you simply forget
everybody else and concentrate on your own feelings and behaviour,
it will improve how other people around you behave as a natural side
effect. And although you’ll be setting an example for those close to
If you have people in your life who are a negative influence, and your
good example is not helping, you should still focus on your own
behaviour. Whatever is going on with another person is their stuff,
nothing to do with you.
If you have children, it’s particularly important that you get this. If you
are blaming them for your situation, you are setting an example for
them that blaming is what you do.
The way to get your kids to behave better and be more organized is
to first set the example yourself. Even then though, setting an
example shouldn’t be your main motivation. Your motivation needs to
be that you are doing things for yourself, to make things easier for
yourself.
It’s your life. You, hopefully, are the one running it and making the
decisions. Looking for things to blame is just avoidance. Be
responsible for yourself, your opinions, your decisions, your actions,
your values, your thoughts and your feelings. Show that you’re proud
of who you are by being responsible for yourself. If you need to
improve your self esteem, this is a good place to start.
If you recognize that you’re feeling down or angry, you can choose to
just acknowledge it and let it pass, and not act on those feelings.
This simple action can give you valuable insight and glimpses into
things you may not have noticed before. Simply recognizing what
you are feeling is sometimes all it takes to release it and move on up
to feeling better.
It’s not necessary to assign blame for negative feelings. You may
well have very good reason for feeling that way, it may be quite
appropriate, but it’s you that’s feeling it, and it’s your reaction to
something, either internal or external, real or imagined. Just own it,
see it, and don’t get stuck there. Let it pass, and do what you can to
bring yourself back to positive emotions and keep yourself there as
much as possible.
Start the day thinking of what you’re grateful for. If you get annoyed
or feel discouraged throughout the day, think of what’s good. I’ve
found this a really good way to turn myself around when something
annoys me.
If I’m sitting stuck in traffic and start feeling grouchy, I remind myself
that I’m lucky to have a car to get around in. When I look at the mess
I have to clean up in the kitchen, I think of how I enjoyed that meal.
I’ve found I can turn just about any annoyance around by thinking of
what I’m grateful for in relation to the annoying thing. It’s not always
easy, but it helps a lot.
If the word ‘grateful’ doesn’t work for you, find what does. It’s not
what you call it that matters, it’s the idea behind it. What are you glad
about, what gives you pleasure, what do you feel good about, what
do you feel proud of, what are you pleased about, what do you see
that is good.
Now I can be quite cynical, and I tend to scoff at cutesy sayings and
so on. So if I can do this, anyone can. It really does work. It just
puts you in a better frame of mind, calms you down, and makes you
behave better.
When something makes you laugh, don’t cut it short, revel in it. Like
attracts like, and these kinds of strategies help steer you towards
feeling positive more of the time. Give it a go.
There are stressful events that throw us off course temporarily: minor
ones, such as someone being rude to us, spilling a drink, breaking
something, being embarrassed; and major ones such as a death or
illness in the family, losing a job, getting robbed or burgled, having a
car accident, relationship break up, moving house and so on.
Getting chronically stuck in negative emotions will make you sick and
hurt others around you, and needs help to change. For example,
profound grief, depression, chronic anger. Seeking help when you
need it is the right thing to do, especially if you are responsible for
others.
You can’t rely on others to recognize your need and respond to it, you
need to have the guts and the good sense to reach out and ask. But
beware of people who’s own chronic negative emotions make them
habitual ‘sympathy givers’ or complainers who will just keep you
feeling low. Misery may love company, but it sure doesn’t need it. If
you seek help you need it from people who are emotionally strong,
vibrant, positive and happy.
When you sense something is wrong, that you’re not really happy,
just try to tune in to what you’re feeling and recognize what it is.
Don’t judge it, just see what it is. Know that it is your feeling and you
are feeling it, and it will pass.
Now, while you’re feeling any negative emotion, this is not the time to
make decisions. Make your decisions when you’re in a good frame of
mind. While you’re feeling negative emotions is the time to just get
on with the basics of your routine, (which I’ll be talking about soon),
the bare necessities, and anything that you are sure will do you good,
or at least not do you any harm. And do try to do what you can to lift
yourself up whenever possible.
Self image
Bad habits can be eliminated by replacing them with good ones, and
that includes habits of how we think. Be responsible for your own self
esteem. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters, and it
really needs to be a good one.
Your feelings about yourself will affect how you behave. You might
think your self esteem is fine, and perhaps mostly it is, but if you’re
disorganized, something is making you make things harder for
yourself, and you need to turn your attention there.
If you feel you are disorganized and need to change things, it’s
possible you have gotten yourself into this state as a form of self-
sabotage. (Or you’ve just had a baby or another massive life event,
don’t worry, I know.)
Whenever you recognize it, turn it around. I’m making better choices,
I’m very capable, I’m organized, everything is OK, I can do this, it’s
getting better, it’s getting easier, that kind of thing, whatever you
respond to best. You need to believe in yourself and see yourself as
organized, as capable, as worthy of your own good care and
attention.
Indecision
This one is huge. The one thing that will stop you getting on with
things more than anything else is this. Seriously, next time you find
yourself not doing something, think about it, and see if you can spot
the indecision behind the problem.
Then there’s the tendency to doubt our own decisions once they’ve
been made, or forgetting them. This is destructive self sabotage, and
very common. You’ve felt guilty about it, worried about it, made the
decision to do something, written it down, thought about it, weighed
up the pros and cons, brainstormed possible choices, planned it out,
and so on, and it still doesn’t get done.
Cut it out and trust your own judgement. Believe in your own
decisions.
But you don’t have to make the same ones over and over again, and
you don’t have to constantly doubt the ones you have already made.
You can’t do something perfectly if you don’t even attempt it, and it’s
usually better to do something imperfectly, even badly, than not at all.
“A job worth doing is worth doing well” is not always a helpful
statement. Let that one go, we don’t need it.
Sometimes you might feel that doing something perfectly would cheer
you up, because you’d get pleasure out of seeing the end result of
this perfect accomplishment rather than an ordinary mundane version
of it. This doesn’t work in the long run though. It will just hold you up
and keep you stuck, and in the end it’s an excuse.
It leads to things being left unfinished or not even begun, and can
mean hours of effort wasted on something that just wasn’t worth it.
There’s nothing wrong with doing a good job, but it’s often much more
important just to do the thing at all, and not to spend so long on some
things that you neglect other important things.
Perfectionism is tied in with fear. Fear of not being good enough, and
fear of failure. (Maybe even fear of success!) TV and marketing and
the media give us idealized images. We’re so easily sucked into
thinking we have to measure up, because the marketers have
learned how to push our buttons to make us buy. It’s only ever
yourself you need to please.
If you like yourself and feel good, and get rid of that fear of not being
good enough (through habits of mind, recognizing negative thoughts
and replacing them with good ones), you’ll no longer feel you have to
Perfectionism can burn you out. Overdoing things whilst striving for
perfection is bad management of our energy. We are our own most
important resource, and we’re no good to ourselves if we’re
exhausted and worn out. I think when you try to do things too
perfectly, somewhere inside you really know you’ve wasted time on it,
and it niggles at you. Who are you trying to appease anyway?
Who’s going to judge you? Are you going to live your life worrying
about what other people think?
If there’s nobody but you to tell you when something is finished for
now, you need to set your own limits and let things just be done. So
many things will need to be done again soon anyway, and you have
other things in your life to do too.
Some things can never be finished. You need to identify and decide
when it’s done well enough, or when you’ve spent sufficient time on it,
and get on with the next thing. Doing something perfectly is no good
to you if the cost is neglecting other important things, or not getting
any benefit from the thing you’re trying to do perfectly. If there really
is more to be done, it can be scheduled in behind things which are
more important.
You see an obvious weed in the garden bed as you walk past it, and
instead of just grabbing it out while you’re there, you tell yourself off
for not having detailed the entire garden bed and fertilized and
mulched it. So the weeds just build up, and you feel more
overwhelmed by the size of the task.
You find a spelling error in your writing, and start worrying about the
grammatical structure of the whole thing, and thinking you’ll never
have enough time to fix it all. (Well, they’re the things that come to
mind for me at the moment.)
Procrastination
It’s easy to use our logic to tell ourselves we’ve already made the
decision to do this thing, and that the benefits of doing it will outweigh
the unpleasantness of doing it. And that is absolutely what I suggest
you do. But we’re creatures of habit, and procrastination is a self
perpetuating habit.
This comes right back to our decision making. If you did your
decision making to the best of your ability, you need to just trust
yourself now. Trust your own good judgement and stop doubting
yourself. You thought this through already, so this doubt you’re
having now is just not necessary. Sticking to your decisions first
requires that you recognize that you made them. Just remember
your decision, and that can eliminate a lot of procrastination. Sticking
to your decisions does require self-discipline, and this is a habit which
can be learned.
The dislike of doing certain tasks that seem like drudgery can actually
change into enjoyment when you’ve got a habit of doing it and started
enjoying the benefits. Don’t believe me? I wouldn’t have believed it
either, but I’ve experienced it myself. If you try it, you’ll see.
When you enjoy the results of something you’ve done, and you
remember those results the next time you do the task, you can
actually feel the good feelings associated with the results while you’re
doing it, and take pleasure and enjoy the task that you used to put off.
It makes perfect sense too, because as well as the pleasure of
knowing you’re going to enjoy the results, you also have the pleasure
of feeling good about yourself, because you’re demonstrating
confidence in your own choices and decisions.
Guilt
Chase it away, replace it, distract yourself, get on with something that
will make you feel better. Guilt just holds you back. It won’t motivate
you. It won’t make you see sense. And if others are laying it on you,
ask yourself why you’re attracting that kind of attitude from people.
No, don’t feel guilty about attracting guilt trips either! I know it has
it’s place, we all need to have a conscience, to recognize when we
may have hurt someone by action or inaction. But lingering with this
feeling too much is a sign that something needs to change.
Anyone with children will know that struggling against guilt can be a
real challenge sometimes. (I’m getting so sick of hearing the word
challenge, as a PC and positive alternative to “hard” or “difficult”, but
I’m yet to think of a suitable alternative). It’s so hard to feel we’ve
done everything right, done enough for them and so on.
Distraction
I’ve seen it suggested that we should just outsource any tasks we’re
not good at or don’t enjoy, to keep ourselves free to spend time on
what we’re naturally more talented at. This is certainly a good idea
for some things, but I don’t think outsourcing all jobs is the answer. I
want my kids to know how to fend for themselves, and even when I
can afford staff to help me with my tasks, I want to have the capability
of doing them myself as well. I don’t want to feel such a victim to
distraction and inability to concentrate as if it’s just totally out of my
hands.
I have found recently that when I had to really tackle learning a new
skill, I was so resistant to it that I had a concentration span of about
30 seconds. I managed to complete the tutorial and learn what I
needed to, but had to do it 30 seconds at a time, then keep
recognizing that I had stopped and was looking for distractions, and
go right back to it for another 30 seconds or so. I was so thrilled to
have completed the task, and when I had to go to the next chapter, I
Giving up
We need to be prepared to fail over and over again, and keep trying.
Every time we fail at something we can choose to see it as a learning
experience and use the experience to help us in our next attempt. If
you really want something, you’ve just got to keep trying.
If you have a willingness to accept failure and learn from it, you won’t
be someone who gives up. Being willing to accept failure is not the
same thing as expecting it though. Expect failure and that’s what
you’ll get.
If it’s something that’s plainly staring you in the face, like tidying up,
commit yourself to 30 seconds spent on the task, that is, pick up one
thing, and put it away. Yes, you might still have to do that unpleasant
thing where you have to think where it goes or decide where to put it,
but it’s only one thing, and you’ll survive. What usually happens is
you find it didn’t hurt so much, and you manage to at least put away a
couple more things.
You might find you need more information or there are more parts to
the task than you thought, and once you’ve worked out the details, it
seems a lot easier to take the first step. There’s more discussion
about breaking down big tasks or projects in chapter 8 in the section
about goals. They need breaking into smaller tasks which can have
blocks of time allocated to them.
Or perhaps you’re really worried about where the task will lead if you
get started. Will it commit you to something you’re not sure about?
Are you worried you won’t be able to finish it? That you’ll waste time
or money or make a mess or get it wrong? Again, sit down and think
it through, and let the real obstacles present themselves.
Don’t let the words ‘time management’ freak you out and send you
off looking for the chocolate biscuits. Used in a corporate setting
these words make me want to either doze off or run away as fast as
possible, but we can apply the concept to our personal lives and even
to our work lives to great benefit. Just keep it simple.
Time is what our life is made of. Yes I’ve heard it can be bent and
that it’s not the way we think it is, and I’m very interested in all that
quantum physics stuff, but for the moment we still have to live with
time. We never know how much of it we have left and we don’t want
to spend it worrying and regretting and stressing out. We want to get
good value out of it.
You don’t want to have your time so rigidly and fully allocated that
you feel trapped by your schedule with no free time just to relax or to
be spontaneous. But you have a lot of different things going on in
your life, and you need to have some level of awareness of what
proportion of your time each activity is taking up.
Being aware of the amount of time you spend on the various activities
that make up your life helps you recognize any imbalances and allow
Being organized stops you from wasting time. It’s about getting
essential but boring things to happen with as little effort as possible.
Having an organized routine for doing the mundane stuff minimizes
the time it needs to take.
Prioritizing and balance are the keys to managing your time. Have a
think about how you are currently spending your time. Surfing the
net, email, the phone, and TV are big time users. I’m not saying you
shouldn’t spend time on these things, but do have a think about
where they come in your priorities.
A bit of TV watching is a lot more relaxing when you feel good about
what you’ve got done before you sat down. Emails are very
distracting and you can spend literally hours on them when you
actually sat down at your desk with a more important purpose in
mind. Spending very long hours working doesn’t necessarily mean
you get more done. We’re much more efficient and productive when
our time is well balanced. Put limits on things that need them.
Some things in your life are more important than others. Some things
are more difficult. Some things are more fun, others more boring.
But for your life to be the way you want it to be, it needs to include all
the things that matter to you, your survival and your happiness.
Firstly, the things you’re avoiding, when you look at them properly,
probably don’t take as much time as you imagine. You can become
so entrenched in avoiding things, whether it’s sorting out your
cupboards or your paperwork, doing the washing and the dishes, or
Secondly, there are things you spend too long on. They might be
things like watching TV, or they might be things you would consider
work. Spending too long on something diminishes the quality of it,
therefore wasting your time. You just become less productive and
effective when you spend too long on one thing, particularly if it’s at
the expense of other important things. Or if it’s a leisure activity, you
get less enjoyment out of it if you spend too long at it.
We tend to stick with things that are familiar and comfortable to the
detriment of other things which are important. We also tend to stay in
a ‘work mode’, being ‘at work’ or ‘working’, but not getting much done.
The reasons we get stuck doing one thing are reluctance or inertia
related to the next activity, or the sense that what we’re doing isn’t
‘finished’ yet. The reasons we become less productive if we spend
too long on something are boredom, tiredness, and the distraction
caused by our awareness of what other things are now being
neglected.
This can be very hard to do, but the big difference is, because it didn’t
take all day, I feel better about coming back to it at the next allocated
time, and a regular habit develops. When you spend too long on one
activity, not only do you neglect other things that need to be done that
day, but you get ‘burnout’, and are less inclined to do that activity
again because in your mind it ‘takes too long’ and you don’t have
time.
The quality of the activity is better too when I have a time limit on it. I
Best of all, it helps me feel better. Better about what I’m doing, better
about the balance of my time, and better because I’m more focused
and confident that I know what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I feel
better about my decisions about how I spend my time, because I
know I have given it due consideration and have actually made
specific decisions about how to spend my time rather than just letting
things happen.
Motivation
The best possible motivation for anything, in fact arguably the only
valid motivation, is a conscious recognition that it is in your best
Think it over, and I bet you’ll find you already know that.
And the part about it being also for the greater good? Well, if
something is good for you and bad for the world, is it really good for
you? On the other hand, if something is good for the world and bad
for you, is it really good for the world? This is like nature’s checking
system for making decisions.
So if you get your dishes done today, do a load of washing, deal with
your mail, and spend 10 minutes finding stuff in your jumbled
cupboard you can get rid of, you know it’s worthwhile, good for you,
good for the world, and you can feel good about doing it. How will
you feel when you’ve done those things, even while you’re doing
those things, compared with the nagging scratchy gnawing feeling
you’ll have if you don’t?
When things happen that make you want to give up, that bring you
down, and seem to suck the motivation out of you, you have a choice
to make.
A lot of things that are really fun don’t start off that way. We have to
learn a skill first, and that requires work. But once we’ve learned to
swim or ride a bike or play an instrument or read and write, there’s a
lot of enjoyment to be had from those things, way more than
something fun that’s easy and requires no effort; and the ability to do
something that is of value to others, which is a pleasure in itself.
Is motivation really out of our control? I often feel that way, but I have
to keep telling myself that it’s not true.
You can control your own motivation, and all it takes is increasing
your level of interest and awareness in what affects it. If you care
about improving your motivation, you can. And I’m not talking about
listening to some ra ra motivational hype.
Motivation is not going to come from outside of you. Not the right
kind anyway. Nobody can give it to you. Sure, when you’re exposed
to people who are very positive and inspiring, you will feel a
temporary lift. And certainly being around people who are positive
and inspiring will do you good. But it won’t last unless you learn how
to create it yourself, the right way.
Nurturing the positive in ourselves will help with our motivation, and is
a spiritual pursuit. When we see the real value of something and
learn to put the required effort into directing our thinking, we find the
motivation we need. It gets progressively easier.
In summary
I’ve talked a lot about your mindset because that’s really the most
important thing in trying to achieve what you want in your life. Being
organized is what you want simply because it will make things easier
and more pleasant for you, so let it.
Whatever type of system you use, whatever tools you use to help
you, it needs to be simple, needs to work, and you need to just stick
to it. There does actually need to be a system though; a bunch of
quotes and acronyms won’t do anything.
There is no magic set of forms or lists, no magic gadget that will solve
the problem of disorganization. Buzzwords and catchphrases can
just be a form of clutter. For me they often don’t serve to remind me
of an idea, they just annoy me. When I’m trying to solve a problem I
want the whole thing spelled out in detail, and that’s what I’m aiming
to do here.
You can talk yourself through just one thing, just whatever it is you
have to cope with right now, and you should talk to yourself kindly, as
if you were nursing or nurturing yourself through an illness, being
encouraging and positive and gentle.
During those difficult times, you’re in survival mode, just getting by,
just doing the basics, the bare minimum. You’ve got to keep going,
but you’re only doing what you must to survive. We all have different
things that must be done, but they come down to essentially the
same things, staying alive and staying safe. You just need to get
Whatever these absolute essentials are for you, these are the first
things you should establish in your daily routine, and the ones you
must never let go of. My point here is that the more you’re struggling
or having a hard time, the more you need the basics done, because if
the very basic things are let go, it just makes things even harder for
you and brings you down.
If you have a baby, getting as much sleep as you can and staying
sane take priority, and it just might be a long time until cleaning out
the garage has any business being on your schedule. Sleeping takes
priority over everything but very basic cleanliness essential to eating.
So, what are your bare minimum things to do, the stuff that really
mustn’t be let go?
A lot of the things I’ll discuss here relate to someone who’s caring for
a home and children, but don’t worry if that doesn’t apply to you. Just
change it to suit your situation and take the ideas and apply them to
your circumstances.
The routines are going to be written down. They are your routines,
so you will put in what you need to put in, but some things are not
negotiable, and need to be done even if you’re in survival mode. In
fact, as I mentioned above, if you’re struggling to get by, it’s even
more important that you take care of the basics to look after yourself
properly.
And if you have these very basic things running like clockwork, you’ll
find it much easier to keep them up whatever happens, making you
generally stronger and better able to cope. Little daily actions of
looking after yourself will help lift you up.
So where are you going to record your routines? You could write
them on your computer, and print them out if you need to (if your
computer isn’t on all the time), or you might prefer writing with pen
and paper. Set it up however is most suitable for you, but don’t get
all bogged down in creating the perfect set up. It just needs to be
easy for you to read and refer to, and you’ll need access to it to refer
to daily at different times of the day. A good place to keep your
written routines might be with your diary or calendar. You won’t need
to refer to it forever, because when it becomes habitual you’ll know it
automatically.
I’m going to give you some example routines, and after each one I’ll
go through my reasoning about why you should do these things,
mostly in this order, always, and some hints about getting yourself to
do them. That’s because I know how easy it is to make up lots of
excuses why they don’t need to be done, aren’t worth doing, can’t be
done and so on.
Think about the reasons for doing these things. Use the reasons I’ve
given if they make sense to you, to save you the trouble of thinking it
through yourself, or write your own, or both. If you need to include
The routines I’m about to give you here are purely examples, and
you’ll need to adapt them. Here they are:
Morning routine:
1. Get up and make your bed.
2. Shower and get fully dressed. Dress as nice as you can.
3. (If you have little kids) Get kids up and fully dressed. Make
their beds if they’re too little to make them.
4. Have breakfast, sitting down at the table.
5. Clean up after breakfast.
6. Check your meal plan to see what you’re having for dinner.
7. Check your calendar or diary.
8. Put on a load of laundry/washing (if you need to do it daily, or if
it’s your laundry/washing day).
9. Tend to your pets or plants (if you have them.)
Reasons for doing these things, and some suggestions about getting
yourself to do them:
Choose a time that works for you, so you don’t have to rush and you
can do everything you want to do. Be realistic. Don’t decide to get
up an hour earlier to exercise or work if you’re having trouble fitting in
breakfast at the moment. Go in stages.
When you wake up in the morning and it’s hard to get up, tell yourself
why you’re doing it. Plan in advance what you’re going to tell yourself
when it happens tomorrow morning, and put it in your own words in a
way that is most meaningful to you, for example “I’m getting up
because my kids need me” or “I’m getting up because I want to get
my stuff done so it will be nicer for me when I get home tonight”.
Expect that you will initially want to put off getting up, because you’re
all warm and cosy, dreaming, comfortably sleepy and so on. Tell
yourself “yes, but I’ve decided to get up at this time because it’s best
for me, and I trust and follow my own decisions”, or something like
that.
Don’t fall into the ‘just another 10 minutes’ trap. It’s a trap. Put your
feet straight on the floor and go. Go where? Yes, it’s easier to do if
So now you’ve managed to get out of bed. You don’t leave your bed
unmade even if you’re planning on changing the sheets that day.
You can strip the bed instead of making it if you like, but if you don’t
strip it you have to make it. This is a safeguard in case you don’t get
around to changing the bed that day, so you’ll still get the benefits of
a made bed.
Having a made bed sets the tone for the room, is a good start to the
day, shows that you care about yourself enough that you feel you
deserve a made bed to go to sleep in at night, makes the whole room
look tidier, discourages dumping stuff on it, sets an example for your
kids, keeps your sheets clean from kids, pets or stuff that may get on
it during the day, and means you have a nice made bed to get into at
bedtime.
If you have junk all over your bed, get it all off and keep it off. Your
bed is where you get the rest your body needs, it is not storage. If
you don’t like your bed, or your sheets or your pillow or your covers or
your room, that is not a reason not to make your bed. Being tired
when you get up is not a reason not to make your bed. It doesn’t
take more than 5 minutes.
Do it as soon as your feet hit the floor, (yes, you may go and pee first)
unless your partner is still in it, in which case tidy up your side as best
you can, and go back and do it when they’re up. (Unless you’re able
to get a ‘last one up makes the bed’ thing going, or do it together).
Tell yourself “I’m doing this to be nice to myself” or whatever similar
phrase works for you. Don’t try to do it perfectly and take ages; this
will just depress you and put you off doing it tomorrow. Just spend a
few minutes at the most.
Dressing as well as you can every day makes you feel better and
makes you more productive, and makes you ready for anything. It’s a
habit you can get into which can change your life. A bold statement
yes, but I really believe in this.
Look your best and your day will turn out better. Look your best and
be ready for anything, always. Even if you’re feeling low and really
can’t be bothered. In fact, the yuckier you’re feeling the more
important it is that you get fully dressed. Wearing yucky clothes will
just keep you feeling that way.
If you’re really so sick you need to stay in pyjamas, then you should
be staying in bed or on the couch, and that’s fine. Better make them
your best pyjamas though.
Guys, do you feel better if you’ve had a shave or a bit of a trim? And
don’t forget, blokes can use moisturizer too. Just because you’re
male doesn’t mean you can’t look after your skin.
If you like makeup, try to wear at least a little, most days. It keeps
you in practice so that when you do want to really doll up you know
It’s because of how it makes you feel. You need to do it for yourself
and not for anyone else. This can be really hard to get your head
around. I was brought up not to be wasteful, and I would actually feel
silly dressing nicely without good reason, saving my best clothes for
goodness knows when.
Have you ever watched that UK TV show What Not to Wear? Trinny
and Susannah say there’s no excuse for dressing in sloppy clothes
every day just because you have young children. Why can’t you
have nice flattering clothes with baby sick on the shoulder? The
answer is you can, and you should.
If you don’t have many clothes, that doesn’t mean you save the best
ones for ‘best’. The clothes are there to serve you, not the other way
around. Always “put your best foot forward”.
You don’t need to live your life trying not to take up too much space
and pretending you don’t exist. Wear your best clothes. I don’t mean
evening clothes for scrubbing the toilet, but you can wear your best
jeans instead of the awful ones or track pants, you can wear tailored
trousers instead of jeans, you can wear a skirt for every day, you can
Even if you have to wear a uniform or overalls, you can make sure
you’ve got decent comfortable shoes and attend to some little details.
You can put some lippy and mascara and earrings on if you wear
them, and do something nice with your hair, just because that’s you,
and you are a real person who exists in the world and deserves to be
here and feel good.
But nothing fits, but you’re just waiting to lose weight first, but you
haven’t got time, but your partner will laugh at you, your mother will
ask aren’t you worried about that top getting ruined, your workmates
will stare at you and ask what’s going on….But but but. But nothing!
This is for you.
If you are working outside the home, dressing well will help your
career. You should always dress like you have the next job up. Want
to be a manager, dress like a manager now, and when a promotion
becomes available, they’ll think of you. Also, it will change your
attitude. If you dress like somebody who’s successful, you’ll feel
more successful.
Don’t deny your individuality or personal style; I’m not saying you
should look any particular way. What I’m saying is you should wear
what you think looks really good. If you were someone else looking
at you, would you admire you? Would you feel confident in you?
And shoes in the house? Yes, shoes in the house. I do know a lot of
people prefer not to allow shoes in the house for reasons of
cleanliness. If you’re a ‘no shoes in the house’ family, just have some
shoes that you wear indoors only, but something that makes you feel
dressed, not slippers. The test is, do you feel good in them, do they
make you want to get going, do you feel fully dressed if someone
comes to the door, are they good enough to go out in.
Now for me, I feel perfectly well dressed in summer with just rubber
thongs (flip flops) on my feet, or Birkenstocks. I’m a casual kind of
girl. But my toenails are always manicured and painted.
For the same reasons as you get dressed yourself, even if you don’t
think you’re going out. Someone might come to the door, you might
have to take them to the doctor or hospital, and you’re setting an
example for them and teaching them what needs to be done.
Yes, having them eat breakfast in their pyjamas might mean you can
just wash their pyjamas, which might need washing anyway, and then
you can put them in clean clothes and not worry about them making a
mess of their clothes with their breakfast. Perfectly valid point.
But you have to change their nappy anyway before they come out for
breakfast, and then is there any danger of you just leaving those
pyjamas on well after breakfast? Or is that just me? Anyway, I highly
recommend the plastic bibs with the little scoop at the bottom to catch
spills.
So, we’ve established that you don’t have breakfast in your dressing
gown. You also don’t eat breakfast at your desk, or at the kitchen
bench standing up, or on the couch in front of the telly, or in the car,
and you don’t skip it either.
Same for your kids. It’s better for your kids to be in the habit of eating
at the table too. It keeps the mess contained in one area, and it’s
quality time together.
You have something decent that’s good for you and will give you the
energy and nutrition you need. I’m not writing a book about nutrition
here, but suffice to say, some complex carbs should be involved.
Tidy up as you go while you make breakfast. Put each thing away as
it’s finished with, put your tea bag in the bin, not on the side of the
sink, use those bits of time while you’re waiting for the kettle to boil or
the toast to pop up. Just keep moving, keep moving, looking for the
next thing to do.
Use your nicest dishes, have your cuppa in your lovely favourite cup,
and sit at the table with your family. Yes, sit down with them. Don’t
act like you’re too busy and eat in the kitchen while you’re doing stuff.
If you live alone, put the radio on or some music (or not, if you really
enjoy the quiet sometimes). You could even read the paper without
being rude.
If you have pets, the experts say you should feed them after you eat
yourself, so the pecking order stays as it should. I’m still working on
this one myself, as I don’t enjoy eating while the parrot is squawking,
so he gets his before I sit down.
The table should be clear of anything not needed for the meal, and
should start out clean. If you can’t sit down to eat at a clean table
because it’s covered in stuff, get a box and clear it off, and put the
stuff aside for now. This table stays clear from now on.
Don’t say you don’t have time for breakfast because it only takes 10
minutes to sit down and eat and I’ll just tell you to get up 10 minutes
earlier. Don’t say you don’t eat breakfast, because I’ll just tell you
that you have to. You can manage to sit still for 5 minutes with some
tea or coffee and a bite of toast at least.
Clear the table and wipe it, dishes in the dishwasher or wash them,
milk back in the fridge, cereal back in the cupboard, crumbs wiped off
the bench, (and if you have little ones, babies high chairs wiped
down, babies wiped down, squished bits of baby’s breakfast swept up
off the floor.)
Can’t face it? I know. Sometimes just taking your own coffee cup to
the sink seems too hard. Imagine how hard it is when you have 3
babies who you just dressed in clean clothes who now have porridge
all down the front of them, in their hair, all over their high chairs and
on the floor. Even though you left the kitchen clean last night, you
Well, don’t do the whole kitchen. Just get all the dishes to the kitchen
and just get through that.
Then just put away one thing. Then just put away one more thing.
Then stack the dishes ready to wash or start putting them in the
dishwasher.
You get the idea. It’s not going to go away. It has to be done, and if
you don’t do it now it will just depress you. So do what you can to
make it more enjoyable, try to get it done within a set time, and
whatever you do, clear that table off and have it clean and ready for
the next meal.
Making a meal plan for the week is in the next section, but checking it
is a daily task that will make your life much easier. While you’re in
the kitchen in the morning, check your menu to see what you’re
planning on preparing for dinner tonight. Now that you know, you can
take something out of the freezer if you need to, or get a head start
on the preparation. I’m putting this step in the evening routine as
well, in case something needs longer to defrost.
Ok, there might be some people who don’t have to wash every day,
but if you have kids, chances are you do. It won’t go away, it won’t
wash itself, and you don’t want to wear dirty clothes, so this is
essential. Head for the washing machine, picking up washing on the
way.
You can hang it up or put it in the dryer when you get home. Or
perhaps you’ve got a timer on your washer and it’s washed overnight
and ready to go in the dryer in the mornings. That’s fine, but do
attend to your laundry every morning. Work out how many loads per
day or per week you need to do, and when you’re going to fold it and
put it away. It’s got to be folded and put away the same day it’s dry,
always, or it will build up and you’ll be scrounging through the basket
looking for something to wear.
Do you like living out of the washing basket? Do you like not having
clean clothes to put on? When else are you going to do it? Later
you’ll need time to fold it and put it away anyway. It’s better to spread
it out and get an early start on it, really.
Once you get into the habit of doing it as often as you have a suitable
load, and following the whole process through to completion every
time, it will be something you just don’t have to worry about or think
about.
If you are very busy, this is not an excuse not to do your washing. It’s
even more reason why you need to keep on top of it to make things
easier for yourself. The washing fairy is not going to come and do it.
If you do have a washing fairy, send him to my place please.
Make yourself a designated sorting area and keep it all in one place,
and just make sure you’re not going backwards. Don’t worry, it will
catch up eventually. Do the stuff that you actually need to wear first,
and have a couple of boxes or bags for items which are to be thrown
away or given away, as when you have a great backlog of washing it
does tend to contain items you no longer need.
If you love your pets you don’t want them living in filth or not getting
the attention and exercise and care they need. They need your care,
or a better home. Feed them, wash their bowls, change their water,
walk them, give them attention and so on, every day.
And if you have plants that need watering you’d better do that too. I
still haven’t had another plant in the house since the last one I killed,
but maybe one day.
If you get into the head space of accepting that you’re ‘on call’ during
this time, and just plan to do easy, routine things, not anything where
you need to concentrate, you’ll feel less stress and enjoy it more.
If your after school routine is more complicated like mine is, because
of kids after school activities, it’s best to make a different routine for
each day of the week, fitting in with what time you have to leave, what
time you get home, how you fit dinner in with that and so on. I keep
my phone on me and have reminders set on it so I don’t have to keep
checking the time.
If you have ‘dead’ time where you’re waiting around while your child
is in the activity, plan useful or enjoyable things to do, like small
errands, reading, or listening to your favourite music. Instead of
boring, waiting around time, enjoy your knitting or your magazine.
With the kids after school routine, sticking to this and doing things in
the same order each day will get both them and you into good habits,
and make it much easier to keep up with their homework.
If they give you their lunchboxes and notices straight away every
time, you’ll never miss any notices, and you won’t be hunting for a
You still need balance in your life, and to have some exercise and so
on, even though you have the luxury of being able to sit in front of the
TV or at the computer for as long as you like. Make a routine for
yourself that is good for you. Perhaps you like a shower when you
get home, perhaps your dog needs a quick outdoor visit when you get
home, and you have a longer relaxing walk together after dinner,
perhaps you eat out often (you lucky thing) and dinner is not part of
your usual evening routine at home, perhaps you have an iguana and
not a dog, or you’re not even committed to a house plant (now I’m
Pretty simple really, if you’ve just come home from work, you’re
hungry and thirsty, and if your kids have just come home from school,
they’re famished. You need something suitable to put in your tummy
straight away when you get home, so you don’t spoil your appetite for
dinner. Don’t skip the snack, but let it be finished when it’s finished.
Welcome home
Whether it’s just you, you and your partner, or you and your kids, you
need a little bit of time just to relax and unwind. It’s nice to do
something to welcome yourself home, such as putting on music or
household fragrance, or just sitting quietly for a few minutes, or
talking and catching up with each other. There may be lots to do, but
you need a chance to get in the door and be home first.
It’s got to be done sometime, and better sooner than later. It’s better
done daily so it doesn’t get a chance to build up, and so that it doesn’t
take too long and end up being a mountainous task that gets put off.
So after you’ve done the snack, drink and welcome home settling in,
this is next. Write anything that needs noting down on your calendar,
toss out the rubbish mail, file things away properly. It just makes it
easier for yourself.
Preparing dinner
If your partner is home, don’t you prefer to keep each other company
while one of you cooks, and help out? If it’s just you, you still need a
healthy balanced meal, and aren’t you lucky you can eat whatever
you fancy. Make the meal preparation time an enjoyable time,
however you can.
Cleaning up as you go when you are cooking is the thing to do. Put
all your rubbish in the bin straight away, wash dishes as you use
them, wipe the bench and give the floor a quick sweep when you’ve
finished chopping vegetables, wipe any spills on the stove straight
away.
Often there are little bits of spare time when you’re cooking while
you’re waiting for something. You may as well use these little bits of
time to clean up whatever you can so there’s less to do after the
meal.
And why not have some music, something nice to drink, make it an
enjoyable time rather than a chore.
Once you get used to it, you’ll wonder how you ever tolerated sitting
in front of the TV with your dinner. You can’t concentrate on the
programme for one thing. Dinner is a social event, it’s a civilized
event, it needs to be a bit special every day, even dinner for one. It
keeps mess off the couch, indicates a proper start and finish to the
meal, and encourages cleaning up properly afterwards.
Always fully clean up after dinner and do the dishes. Hopefully this
will include leaving the stove, oven and bench tops clean, but at the
very least, always fully clear and clean the table, and do the dishes.
If you have a dishwasher, this means running it, and also washing
any extra dishes that aren’t going in it. This could take 5 minutes to
half an hour, maybe an hour if you’ve just had 14 people for a dinner
party and don’t have a dishwasher. But assuming it’s just an average
family with a dishwasher, 15 minutes.
Dirty dishes left undone leads to an ever dirtier kitchen. Mess attracts
mess. Leaving any dishes at all for tomorrow morning is just delaying
the inevitable, and makes things harder for you.
You have to have some minimum standard, and this one is essential.
If you don’t do the dishes it’s only one step away from Frank Zappa’s
Dangerous Kitchen or featuring on How Clean Is Your House. Just
do ‘em.
A quick glance at your meal plan (which you might like to keep stuck
on the fridge) will tell you if you need to take anything out of the
freezer tonight.
Washing/laundry
If you’re doing washing for other people in your home, it’s also
perfectly reasonable to expect them to put away their own clothes.
What, they’re all far too busy with work and study and that’s your job?
Well, it’s your call, but I think even if you’re a full time homemaker, at
least your children who are old enough need to learn this simple life
skill.
It’s not very time consuming, and it helps them feel more responsible
for their own things. It’s a perfectly reasonable thing to expect help
with folding the washing too. Yes, you’re happy to care for your
family, but you’re not a personal servant, and children do need to
learn some basic life skills. It’s their clothes too, after all.
Yes, it just comes right back again, I know, but it will be in smaller
manageable basketfuls if you keep completing the full cycle and get it
folded and put away. You’re doing it for yourself, because it makes
things nicer for you. Do you really want to go scrounging through the
basket for your clean undies in the morning?
If you wear a uniform and don’t have a spare, you need to change so
you can wash it or keep it clean for tomorrow. Changing after work for
you may not be necessary either, but there are occasions where it’s a
good idea. If you wear a uniform to work you might just feel better
changing, you might need to freshen up or even shower, or you might
need a change of clothes to signal to yourself that you’re now home,
and it’s time to do different things, get your mind into a different
space.
Exercise
If you’re struggling with more essential basics, you can add this one
in later, but it’s going to be added in eventually.
Evening routine:
1. A quick tidy up.
2. Check your calendar to see what’s on tomorrow.
3. Get your clothes ready for tomorrow and your kid’s clothes too.
4. Pack for tomorrow.
5. Brush your teeth and wash your face.
6. Go to bed in time to get enough sleep.
While I’m getting the babies into their pyjamas I get their clothes
ready for the next day. If I leave getting my own clothes out until
bedtime, I’m more likely to skip it, so I do that soon after putting the
little ones to bed. Sometimes it’s good to even get fully ready for bed
before it’s actually bedtime. Then when you’re good and sleepy, all
you have to do is hop into bed.
A quick tidy up
Don’t spend more than about 15 minutes, but if you do a quick tidy up
every evening, you can keep your house tidy all the time. If you’re
starting from a point where you’re a long way from tidiness, this will
stop it getting any worse as well as contribute to the gradual
movement towards tidiness.
Look out for any areas like the kitchen bench, hall table etc that seem
to attract stuff that doesn’t belong there. I often surprise myself with
how little time it takes me compared with how messy it looks to start
with. I often get the older kids to help me with this and we do it all
together in a flash. Getting your family involved regularly in this quick
tidy up has the added benefit of making them think twice about
leaving things lying around in the first place.
It takes 2 seconds and can avert all sorts of disasters. Having and
using a calendar is essential to being organized, so make sure you’ve
Get your clothes for tomorrow ready, and your kids’ clothes too
Not necessary? Your clothes are all washed, ironed, folded and put
away in the drawers and wardrobe in an orderly fashion, easy to find
and all flattering and comfortable? Great, then it will be really quick
and easy for you to do this, but you still have to do it. If you ever
have trouble deciding what to wear, or even finding something clean,
you’ll have to agree this makes sense.
It also helps with that pile of clothes that can build up in your
bedroom. You know, the one where there are clothes that you
haven’t decided if they’re clean or dirty, so you throw them over a
chair. If you’re putting out your clothes for tomorrow it might help you
decide whether those jeans are ok for another day or need to go in
the wash basket. It’s quite ok to have some clothes out that you have
worn and are going to wear again. Just have a designated place to
put them neatly, and don’t let the pile get out of control. You might
even allocate a special drawer, shelf or hanging area for them.
Kids school bags with their homework, hat etc, nappy bag if you’re
going out with babies, your handbag with letters to post etc, briefcase
for work or backpack for uni or college. There’s nothing worse than
forgetting something you need, or rushing to find it at the last minute,
or having to turn back and get it after you’ve set off.
This should be pretty self explanatory, but lots of people still neglect
themselves in little ways. If you really need a reason for this other
than your teeth rotting and your pores being clogged and your
eyelashes falling out, well, what if there was an emergency in the
middle of the night and the fire fighters or ambulance officers saw you
with panda eyes and bad breath.
If you don’t get enough sleep you’re not going to function well the
next day, or everything tomorrow is going to be delayed because you
slept late. Getting enough sleep is essential for your health. I hear
it’s also good for your appearance, and stopping your skin from
prematurely ageing.
There’s no point though lying in bed because you think you should,
and not being able to sleep. As I mentioned earlier, if you always
stick to the same getting up time, your body will tell you when it needs
to go to sleep.
If you’ve been having trouble with insomnia, first try to identify any
obvious causes like caffeine or alcohol too close to bedtime. If you
suffer from restless leg syndrome, you might find that it always starts
after you’ve had your legs up or been lying down for half an hour or
so. Try to find a pattern to what is happening with your body so you
know what you’re dealing with. Do what you can to make yourself
more comfortable, whether it’s a bath before bed, exercise, putting
your feet up on the couch for a while before going to bed, or taking a
nutritional supplement.
Work routines
Making a basic work routine might be very clear and easy, depending
on what you do. For a lot of people though, particularly the self
employed or those doing anything artistic or creative, it might be less
clear, and you might need to really put some effort into identifying the
essential parts. It’s effort well worth making.
The smaller maintenance type tasks need to have their time limited
and be done as quickly and efficiently as possible, so you’re free to
get on with the important stuff, producing or selling your product,
providing your service, creating and designing, researching, or
whatever it is. You shouldn’t let the maintenance and administrative
tasks overtake and infringe upon the more important aspects of your
work. Even if the core part of your work is administrative in nature,
there will still be reports, meetings, emails and correspondence and
so on, which are not the main part of your work.
When you have your basic daily routines written down, make a time
estimate for each routine.
Being aware of how little time your evening items really take, can
make you realise that you really can fit them in.
Summary
Whatever needs establishing, pick one thing to start with and work
on, the most important thing, and make it an unshakeable habit
before fully tackling the next thing. Refer to the section above about
creating habits. The first thing I would start with would be
establishing a habit of using and checking your calendar or diary,
followed by getting up on time, followed by keeping up with washing
and dishes.
I realise some people may not find the examples given relevant to
their situation, perhaps if you’re retired, a student, a carer, or other
situations. I hope you’ll be able to simply adapt what I’m saying to
suit you, and just identify any essential daily tasks, and the best order
to do them in.
Ok, so these are your basic daily routines. The point of this is that
there are certain basic things that have to get done, and you are
setting a standard for yourself and developing a routine that works for
you. To become organized, starting with some basic routines is the
bare minimum.
- As you get into good habits and routines, the actual chores
themselves will become more enjoyable. The difference is in
your attitude. When you stop rebelling against things that are
good for you, and realize that you’re the one in charge, and
you’re doing these things for yourself, you’ll feel happier.
- As you take charge a little bit at a time, you will feel enormous
pleasure when you recognize the changes you’ve made to how
you do things, however small those changes are. A little
change, a very little change, repeated over and over and over
again, can lead to a very big benefit.
- Which part will benefit you the most, or do other things depend
on? Start with that thing first. Getting up on time is usually an
obvious one to start with.
- Keep working at that one thing til you’ve done it for one month
straight before trying to change something else. If you try to do
too much at once, it won’t work. That doesn’t mean let
everything else go while you’re concentrating on that one thing,
but rather carry on as usual with everything else, doing your
best, but with the new habit you’re currently concentrating on,
fully dedicate yourself to it for that month, doing whatever it
takes to get yourself to do that one thing consistently.
- Tell yourself and keep in mind very clearly the reasons why you
want to do this thing. Keep reminding yourself. Let there be no
doubt that it is worth doing, that it will make you happier, that it
will make your life better, that you are doing it for yourself and
nobody else. For it to work you have to believe in it. This point
is so easily missed, and is one of the main places where the
As with the daily routines in the previous chapter, these are going to
be written down. These are any items which need doing regularly but
less often than daily. These items will require more thought and
shuffling around, and a more complicated decision making process,
because weekly, fortnightly or monthly tasks are easier to put off, and
there’s more choice involved in allocating a time. This is exactly why
I’m suggesting you take the time to go through it, to get rid of
indecision.
If you’re flat out working full time and looking after your children as
well, or working more than one job, or any situation where you know
you have too much going on, but you’re stuck with it for the moment,
you need to set your standards accordingly, particularly with
housework.
Some things are essential, and other things, well, they still need to be
done, but they can just be done less often than you’d like ideally, and
spread out evenly. Make a few chores fortnightly or monthly rather
than weekly, and you’ve halved your work, and can still feel better
• Your own list of essentials that need doing less often than daily.
• How often each item needs doing, or that you’re currently,
realistically able to do them.
• An estimate of how long each item takes.
• The best day of the week and time of day for each item.
• The items scheduled in your diary or calendar for the coming
week (or month for less frequent items).
At home
Clean out fridge
Meal plan
Shopping list
Grocery shopping
Unpacking and putting away shopping
Transport
Bills and paperwork
Rubbish bins
Housework:
- Change sheets and towels
- Clean floor
- Clean bathroom/s
- Ironing (if you must).
Now I’m just going to go through some details about deciding how
often these tasks need to be done and how long they should take
This is a quick but essential task, to be done just before your meal
plan and shopping list. You only need 5 to 15 minutes at the most for
this.
Once you know your shopping day, the day before, or the same day
possibly, is the day you make your list. And in order to make your list
you need to plan your meals for the week. Yes, you absolutely must
have a basic meal plan for the week, and I’ll go into detail about this
shortly.
For now, let’s just allow for planning meals and making a shopping
list every week, if you’re shopping weekly, and deciding how much
time to allow for it. Give yourself plenty of time for this, even up to an
hour if you’re not in the habit currently of planning your meals in
detail. The more thoroughly you do this, the easier your shopping trip
and your whole week will be.
If you’re going to the shops daily or every few days, buying things
you’ve got already and missing things you need, and maybe
spending too much money, getting this one sorted will make a huge
improvement.
Grocery shopping
Firstly, what are the possible options for you? The considerations are
time, money, quality, finding what you want, being able to prepare the
meals you want, parking, carrying it all and putting it away, how much
fridge, freezer and cupboard space you have, transport, whether you
Weekly shopping is often the most practical choice. You don’t want
too much to carry, you want things to be as fresh as possible, you
don’t want your kitchen too cluttered with stuff, and the next shopping
trip is not so far away that you can’t wait til then for anything else you
think of.
If it’s hard for you to get out, online shopping may be a good option, if
you can afford the delivery fee and the sometimes slightly higher
prices. You’ll probably still have to make a trip to the shops for a few
unavailable items though, and you may not know what was
unavailable until the order is delivered.
Anyway, you need to plan for a trip to the shops, and decide on a
regular day for it. It can seem boring committing to a specific day, but
it will make life easier. You’ll be better prepared and less harassed.
The best times are in the morning or in the evening to avoid the
crowds and queues. How long will you need? 1 to 3 hours? Make
sure the shopping time includes getting there and parking.
If you get some things from individual specialty shops, you might
need a separate trip for those things, especially if they’re not open at
the time you prefer to go to the supermarket. If so, try to make it as
soon as possible before your supermarket trip, to avoid ending up
needing to substitute your preferred items with what’s available at the
supermarket.
Don’t forget you’ve got to get it inside, unpack it, and put it all away.
Don’t underestimate how long you need for this; it can be quite a big
job, especially for a large family.
Transport
Now to our cars. They run better with a full tank of petrol, because if
they’re always near empty, bits of residue will come up into the
engine. At least that’s what I’ve been told. In any case, keeping it full
makes sense because you don’t want to run out. It doesn’t cost you
any more to keep it full, you’re still using the same amount when you
drive.
I recommend having a set day of the week that you fill up your tank,
regardless of how much you’ve used. You may need to fill up more
often than that or less often if you very rarely use the car. The idea is
to not let it have the chance to get anywhere near empty before you
fill it, and doing it pretty much at the same regular time so that it’s not
something you have to think about any more.
This allows you to plan where and when you will do it too, avoiding
queues, picking the best price day, going to a station that accepts
your discount vouchers and is on the right side of the road for you to
Bills and paperwork quickly build up into scary piles if left unattended,
or even scarier, not in piles but stashed all over the place. It’s got to
be kept on top of. You need a set time to do it, otherwise you tend to
deny to yourself that it’s actually a necessary job. Just doing bits and
pieces here and there allows many details to be forgotten. An
organized person has it all under control, and it can be easy once you
get your head around it.
Rubbish/trash/garbage collection
I’ve rarely had a problem with this one until the council changed our
recycling, and now I need it written down. I’ve known people though
who just couldn’t seem to get the rubbish thing together, and it’s awful
having smelly old rubbish piling up. Or running outside in the cold,
early in the morning when you hear the truck coming and just missing
it. Yes, all right, I’ve done this quite a few times myself.
If you don’t do the cleaning in your home yourself, it’s still good to
have a clear idea of what needs doing so that you have an
appreciation for what your partner does, or an understanding of what
your cleaner needs to do. Maybe you have a cleaner doing some of
it, but you need to take care of the rest yourself.
Of course not everybody will agree about what has to be done and
how often. I will argue against spending either too much or too little
time on it, and I’m writing assuming you do it all yourself.
If you’re not currently responsible for much of it and your partner does
most of it, schedule what you are responsible for. This might be a
good opportunity to consider whether you could be doing more.
For now I just want you to identify what needs to be done, for
example:
I worry whether other people change their sheets and towels more
often or less often, and I’m sure the answer is both.
Without wanting to gross anyone out, I find with towels weekly is fine,
if they’re drying out well and people aren’t using bath towels as hand
towels and everyone has their own towel. If you’ve got someone
playing sport and needing more showers, you might need 2 towels on
the go for one person and still change them weekly perhaps, rather
than using 2 clean towels a day because they haven’t dried out.
Some people use a fresh towel for every shower, you’ll do whatever
is your comfortable standard, but as a minimum, they get changed
weekly.
I know some people change their sheets daily, and some people
rarely change them. Weekly, or every 2 weeks as a minimum. I find
babies and toddlers sheets need doing weekly, (babies sometimes
several times daily), but the older kids are often fine for 2 weeks, then
I’ll change the sheets just for reasons of dust and freshness. In any
case, there are sheets to change every week. Work out what your
standard is.
Cleaning the floor is done twice a week in our house and a lot of
sweeping in between as well, because of 3 messy babies. I used to
obsess about the floor and take over 2 hours doing it, getting right in
all the corners and under chairs and couches, mopping when nobody
would walk on it til it was dry and so on. Common sense has kicked
in now out of necessity.
Ironing
It depends on what you wear, but unless you’re one of those strange
people who enjoy it, I suggest not letting it build up to more than 20
minutes worth. Work out how much you need to do in a week, and
decide if it needs breaking up into smaller lots.
Try to avoid ironing at all if you can. You’d be surprised how easy it
is to do without it if you try. I’ve seen some people iron their sheets
and tea towels, even socks, and other people who wouldn’t even iron
a dress shirt. I’m weaning myself off it gradually. I’m ok now with not
ironing jeans, and I find if you fold things straight away out of the
dryer or off the clothes line, although they may look a little crumpled,
once you put them on they look fine. I even recently sat at a formal
table where the table linen had not been ironed, just washed and
folded, and it looked great.
Bathroom cleaning is easier the more often you do it. I’m going to
suggest you actually do a lot of it daily. Yes, daily. Don’t be afraid.
But unless you have just one small bathroom that you use yourself,
you will probably need a quick weekly clean as well. Because of the
daily cleaning I’ll talk about further on, you shouldn’t need more than
about 20 minutes per bathroom.
At work
When you’re ready, go through the same process for your work
tasks. You have your daily work routines just as you have your
personal ones, and there are regular work tasks done less often than
daily as well. Identify what they all are and how often they need
doing.
Make sure you include all the important regular tasks for your work
that are done less often than daily. Just as with your home or
personal life, the more you refine the details and identify what
decisions have already been made and which, if any, are still to be
made, and make them, the more smoothly and efficiently, and
therefore less stressfully, things will run.
As you identify your various work tasks, take the time to make
detailed written procedures for each task also, like an instruction
manual. The idea here is that tasks which are done less commonly
will be done in a consistent and correct way, without wasting time
figuring out or remembering the details each time.
List the tasks and estimate the time required for each
Make your best guess of how long each thing takes you. Your list
should look something like this for you tasks at home:
Whether you hire help for things like gardening and window cleaning
or do them yourself, use your calendar to plan when they’re due to be
done again.
A small flat with one person will take a lot less time than a house with
pets and kids, and some people do things faster. Changing a bed
can take from 5 to 15 minutes; some people need to go more slowly.
If you have small children or you’re pregnant, or both, you’ll know
most things take longer.
If you’re busy with kids, a bit creaky and achy in places, and have
over 8 hours a week of tasks to fit in like the list above, you’ll want to
break it up into smaller parts over the week. That’s the next bit of
decision making to be done.
Think about your lists when you have them written down. Is this
close to or way off what you normally get done. How realistic is it?
Make sure you’re confident that it really makes sense because this is
decision making you’re not going to have to do again.
Now have a think about the difference between what you’re getting
done now, and what actually needs doing. Don’t be scared of it, you
don’t have to be perfect overnight, or ever. You just need to have a
realistic idea of what needs doing. Have a good think about the times
too. They don’t have to be perfect, but guess as accurately as you
can.
Whatever time you have estimated for each task, try timing yourself
sometimes when you’re doing a task to see whether you can take
less time. This can be really helpful if you have a tendency to take
too long to do things because of perfectionism.
Try to keep the weekends totally free if you can. Of course your
every day things still need to be done on the weekend, but you need
some free time to relax and have fun. If you have to do a lot of it on
the weekend, try to keep at least one day totally free.
For those working full time outside the home, I suggest at least
considering whether you can keep the weekend free from chores by
doing them after work during the week, spread out as evenly as you
When you’ve made your decision about the best time and day of the
week to do each regular task, write them in your diary or calendar for
the week ahead. Any tasks which are done less often, write them in
too for when they’re due. For these less often tasks, when you do
them, write them in your diary again for next time. Each week when
you sit down for your planning time, which I’ll be getting to, you’ll write
your tasks in again for the week ahead, making any small
adjustments you need to. You’ll only make adjustments though if
they’re necessary and there’s clearly a better way. Don’t fix it if it’s
not broken, and trust your decisions.
If you prefer not to have your regular weekly tasks written in your
diary or calendar, you could have a list for each day of the week
which you refer to. I’ve found it’s easier to avoid and forget things
this way though, which is why, even though you will remember what
needs doing on what day, I suggest writing them in your diary or
calendar. It also reinforces the habit of using your diary or calendar
daily.
Having these basic things in place, that is everything you need to get
done day to day, week to week, is the basis for getting organized.
There’s a lot more to do, but you just need to take it one step at a
time and ease into it.
The weekly items need to become habit as well, and whichever ones
you tend to put off repeatedly will need to be tackled one at a time
until you get past whatever is stopping you from doing them.
Once you actually break through and do the thing you hate so much,
whether it’s cleaning the toilet or taking care of your paperwork, you’ll
find it’s really not as hard as you thought, and there are so many
ways to make it easier and easier.
What to do if you fall off the wagon, so to speak? Just accept it and
keep going. Don’t try to go back and do what you missed (unless you
have to of course, like getting dressed or buying groceries). Just start
from where you are now on your schedule. Whatever you missed will
come up again.
If you don’t have to do housework, lucky you. Just skip this bit, or
look for any bits that you do need to do. If you do, keep in mind this
is not the one and only way to do things, it’s just a general discussion
with hopefully some useful suggestions. It should also serve as
either:
a) Reassurance that your standards and methods are good
enough
b) An indication that you need to lift your game
c) An indication that your standards are too severe and you
could possibly do with relaxing them somewhat
It doesn’t matter if you take the clean sheets into the bedroom before
or after taking the dirty ones to the laundry, but the first option might
be better if you tend to forget (like I do) that the linens you’ve taken
away need replacing. It’s annoying to go to bed or go to have a
shower then see that there’s no sheets or towels there. So I start the
process by getting the clean ones out of cupboard and taking them to
If your children are old enough to change their own sheets and
towels, this can be a signal to them that the day has arrived and they
can bring the dirty ones to the laundry for you.
Gather up all the sheets and towels that need washing and take them
to the laundry. You’ve then got all week to wash them a load at a
time. There’s a lot in my house, so a load of sheets or towels each
day gets me through the week’s worth.
When they’re washed and dry, fold them in sets. Fitted sheets are
hard to fold and I’m sure everyone has their own way of doing it. I get
the 2 corners that are furthest apart and bring them together, then get
the other 2 and match them together, then bring them all together
and……do you know what? I really don’t think it matters. They don’t
have to be folded any particular way, they just need to be washed
and dry and put away by the time they need changing again.
Toilets:
You need to scrub the toilet and wipe the seat and the rim and the
outside of the bowl and the floor around it. People avoid doing this
because they think it’s too gross, but using an unclean toilet is
grosser. If it’s regularly cleaned it will never be too scary to clean.
I don’t like the blue stuff in there, because you can’t tell if it’s clean, in
fact it looks as if you’re avoiding cleaning it. Having any kind of
gadget that sits inside the cistern or hangs over the edge of the bowl
does not mean you don’t have to clean the toilet! It still needs
cleaning. The best thing these gizmos do is give the room a bit of a
If your toilet brush is gross, go all out and shout yourself a brand new
one. If you have a toilet brush that has its own tall bucket you can
keep it full of disinfectant solution, then just quickly swish around the
loo every morning. Having it sit permanently in disinfectant may also
make you feel better that it’s not crawling with germs. You will need
to top it up sometimes and clean out the bucket. Or there are
gadgets you can get now with disposable attachments. Do scrub
right down below the water line too. You shouldn’t be able to see any
marks on the porcelain at the top of the water.
Then wipe the seat & porcelain down with paper towel and window
cleaner or disinfectant or whatever you like to use. Don’t forget the
underside of the seat. If your toilet seems to stay stinky after you’ve
cleaned it, you probably need to take the seat off. Buy a new seat or
just thoroughly clean it and put it back on.
When you do your weekly bathroom clean, spend a bit longer on the
toilet than you do on your daily clean, and try to scrub under the rim
where the water comes out as much as you can. You can put gloves
on and use a scourer, or buy a special scrubber that fits into that tight
space. But if you never clean up there it will get all black and gunky,
and you don’t want that.
Showers:
I heard one of my favourite radio personalities going on one day
about how she’d bought some new shower cleaning spray, which
claimed to be able to clean your shower with no rubbing or scrubbing.
She was very annoyed to get it home and read the instructions, which
said “first start with a clean shower”. “Of course my shower’s not
*%@# clean” she said. “Why else would I have bought the stuff!” I
was in fits of laughter, and I’d bought the same stuff myself for the
same reason.
I still can’t resist a bit of Ajax on the shower floor though for the
weekly clean. I don’t like the idea of standing in bacteria, so whether
you use a commercial cleaner, or vinegar and baking soda, it doesn’t
matter, but do give the floor of the shower a good clean once a week.
Pull the hair bunnies out of the plug hole too. If it’s too yucky, use a
bit of toilet paper, a glove, or a crochet hook to grab it with.
One thing I never do when cleaning the shower, is drying it off. I just
can’t make any sense of this activity at all. Let it be wet, that’s my
view.
Bathtubs:
For the bath, I put some cleanser on a sponge and go straight for the
grimy ring. It comes off quite easily if done every week. Then I rinse
to check I got it all, and wipe the corners and edges to get rid of any
dust or hairs. If there are a lot of hairs and you get sick of rinsing
them out of the sponge, use damp paper towel to pick them up
instead.
Remove any hair from the plughole. Wipe the soap holder. Again, I
don’t see the point of drying it. If you use the bath daily yourself, you
may prefer to clean it daily while you’re there so it’s nicer for you. If
your shower is over the bathtub, definitely clean it daily, and you’ll
never have a ring.
The sink:
Take everything off the counter or edge of the sink (which is why I like
to keep as little as possible there) and wipe it down. Use an old
toothbrush around the taps, and some cleaning stuff inside the sink.
There shouldn’t be a build up of toothpaste, hair and whiskers and so
on in the sink if you have the habit of swishing a bit of water quickly
over it each time you use it. You do need to use a bit of cleaner for
the weekly clean though to get rid of build up.
If there’s a bar of soap, wipe under it to stop it building up. Give the
mirrors a clean with some window cleaner and paper towel. The
paper towel and window cleaner are handy for a very quick daily wipe
too, to keep it looking nice all the time. Change or wash the cup you
keep the toothbrushes in, and dust any bottles or containers which
are kept out.
If you need to carry bits and pieces to another room, say if your toilet
is in a separate room, it’s worth investing in one of those great plastic
caddies.
Always have a separate hand towel for people to use when they
wash their hands, so the bath towels are kept clean. It’s handy to
keep the spare hand towels in the bathroom if you have room.
Having a nice clean bathroom can be very comforting, and it’s nice to
have little extra things in there like a radio, some light reading and
maybe a plant if you like them.
Cleaning floors
Get the obvious dirt up, and give the whole floor a once over, but
don’t obsess about the skirting boards, corners, edges, cobwebs and
under furniture. That will get taken care of less often when you do
more detailed cleaning. If you see an obvious cobweb, do grab it
quickly, but don’t go searching in every little crevice for them.
If you have any carpeted areas, I hope you have a vacuum cleaner.
Even the really cheap ones these days have very good designs and
filters on them. A carpet sweeper is only good for getting crumbs and
obvious dirt off the top temporarily between cleans. If you don’t use a
If you hate having to find another electrical plug for the vacuum
cleaner a few times as you go around the house, get an extension
cord that stays permanently with the cleaner. Do a dry run around
the house and see if you can get it down to one or 2 plugs to cover
the whole house. You need to unravel the cord as far as it goes, put
the cleaning head somewhere on an outside wall of the house, and
follow the cord towards the centre of the house and see how far it
gets. Putting a little thought into this can make it much less of a
daunting prospect to get the vacuum cleaner out.
Don’t forget to empty the dust and clean the filter if it has one at the
end of each session. Another lovely little habit that makes things
easier for you.
There are all kinds of great new mop designs these days. There are
ones where you put the water in the mop and don’t need a bucket,
ones with throw away clothes on them, and ones with their own ringer
buckets. If you can treat yourself to a better mop set up, go for it.
The worst one would be the sponge that squeezes with a lever. If
you still have one of those, it’s time you had a look in the cleaning
section at the supermarket. You can do much better than that now.
The object is to get the job done as quickly and easily as possible.
Just the visible dirt, as if your mother in law was on her way over.
You might want to use a carpet sweeper or swiffer rather than the
vacuum cleaner for this one, and just a damp mop, not the whole
bucket and cleaning solution routine.
How quickly can you do a quick floor clean? Do you not do them at
all because you think to clean the floor means you have to take 3
hours and get on your hands and knees and get into every corner?
Or is that just me?
I dare you to just try a quick one, as if someone you want to impress
is on their way over in 15 minutes. How quickly can you do it? If you
do these quick ones regularly, then it’s not so scary when you do
decide it’s time for a thorough one. Allow yourself to miss a bit, just
go for the dirt you can see.
As well as quick floor cleans, you might need quick specific cleans,
such as under the table or in the kitchen after meals. It’s much better
to do these quick ones, quickly and not perfectly, as required rather
than leaving it for when you clean the floor. You might just need a
dustpan and brush (or brush and shovel, or whatever you call it, you
know, the little hand broom with the pan to sweep the dirt into).
Liquid spills
You need a system for dealing with these in your home, and for
everyone to know what it is.
2. Rinse with clean water & a little disinfectant or wool wash, to make
sure you remove the spilled liquid so it won’t smell. Let some of the
clean liquid soak into the area, then soak it back up with the sponge
and repeat.
Make sure everyone knows what you use and where you keep the
designated floor towels. If the liquid was milk, vomit, urine or
anything like that, you really must rinse as well as absorb to make
sure there is no residual smell. It’s about smells as well as stains.
Ironing
What can you do to make it less awful? Yes, I know some people
like it, which is just weird, and some people are scared of it, and just
need half an hour with their mum or aunty or someone to teach them.
I’m really good at it but I hate it. I look for clothes that don’t need
ironing where possible, and try to fold things before they get wrinkled.
Don’t iron what doesn’t need ironing.
I’m currently working on refraining from doing it at all, and I’ve gotten
away with it for several months now. Hang up shirts on a hanger
straight from the washing machine. Yes, they look a little wrinkly, but
when you put them on it’s not really very noticeable. It depends on
your style of clothing of course, but do consider weaning yourself off
it. I’m told it’s actually more fashionable these days not to be
perfectly ironed.
Rubbish/garbage bins
Take them out the night before collection. Don’t forget the recycling.
Bring bins in
I cannot think of a single thing to say about this. It’s just not too hard
really. If you feel inclined to you can give them a clean once in a
while. Try to store them neatly, out of sight, and where you can
access them easily from the kitchen where you carry most of the
rubbish from. Oh, I did find a couple of things to say.
If you have a freezer that needs defrosting, this is the best time to do
it, while there’s the least amount of food in there. If you do it weekly,
it will be quick and easy, your fridge will run better, use less
electricity, and keep your food better. And you’ll have more room in
the freezer.
Don’t forget to dust the top of the fridge. If you’re sick of dusting it,
you might prefer to put a suitably sized cloth on it which can be
thrown in the washing.
Meal planning
A lot of people find they have trouble because they get paid monthly
or fortnightly, but they seem to need to go out for groceries 2 or even
3 times a week. This problem can be fixed by planning your meals.
Planning your meals is the first thing to do, so that you can make a
sensible shopping list.
You can plan your meals even to the extent of deciding which of your
meals for the coming week you will have on which days. It’s the
same principle as getting your clothes ready the night before, and the
idea is to free yourself up from having to make decisions. You make
the decision once, and don’t have to worry about it again for a week.
Meals which require more preparation are allocated to days when you
have more time available, and quick and easy meals or ones where
much of the preparation can be done ahead of time are planned for
the days when you’re pushed for time.
This really is essential. I know, you artistic types who want to make
spontaneous creations in the kitchen won’t like it, but as I’ve said, you
Plan your meals. It might not always go to plan, and it doesn’t hurt to
have some back up emergency food on hand, but do plan the meals.
Have a master list of favourite meals and get the family involved in
writing it, rating the meals and adding to the list as new ideas come
up.
For favourite meals you’re happy to eat every week, why not give
them their own day. You could change them seasonally, or when
you’re sick of them of course, but if you’re going to eat Bolognese
every week anyway, why not decide which day. You could have set
types of meals for each day of the week and make minor variations.
For example pasta on Monday, stir fry on Tuesday, fish on
Wednesday, chicken on Thursday, etc.
Did you just read that bit and say to yourself, “boring”, or “that’s too
hard” or “that’s just not necessary”? How did your meals go this past
week? Was there much stress or unplanned buying of takeaways or
unplanned trips to the shops for extra food? Planning your meals for
the week will, absolutely, I assure you, make your week go a whole
lot more smoothly and cut out a great deal of stress. Just try it.
But you need to be creative and spontaneous? Fine, pick what day
you’re going to do that on. Perhaps Friday or Saturday night is when
you try a new recipe. If you do tend to cook the same things all the
time, that would be a great new habit to get into.
If you like to cut out recipes from magazines, or print them off the
internet, keep them in a folder. Plastic pockets are very handy to put
them in, and limit how many go into the folder. Chuck out the one
that keeps getting put to the back when you add a new one. If you try
it and it becomes a favourite, move the page to your ‘favourite
recipes’ folder. So that’s 2 recipe folders, one for tried and true
favourites, and one for new things you’d like to try.
Start by assessing how your meals went for the previous week. What
worked and what didn’t? Look at your master list of favourites for
inspiration, and look at what you have on hand that needs using up.
So in order to write your shopping list, you need a meal plan for the
week, and a checklist of everything you need to keep on hand in your
house. It’s worth writing a checklist of things you use regularly, both
to help you write your list and also to keep a record of your best
prices.
If you fill in some prices from the receipt after each shopping trip
you’ll soon have them all filled in. This allows you to work out how
much you expect to spend on your list before you even walk out the
door, and if you see something on special you can check what price
you normally pay to see if it really is a bargain or not.
Write your shopping list carefully and thoroughly, using your checklist
and your meal plan. Yes, you can always just walk around the house
looking in cupboards, but then have a quick scan through your
checklist and you might find something you’ve missed.
The idea is to avoid extra trips to the shop because you’ve forgotten
something. It wastes time and you tend to buy things you didn’t plan,
which stuffs up your budget. Don’t forget things like batteries,
envelopes, light bulbs etc.
The more thorough your list, the easier your shopping trip and the
easier it is to stick to your budget. If the shopping budget is an issue,
try estimating the cost of your list before you go, and see if you need
to take anything off. It’s much less stressful to do this before you
leave.
Eat before you go, and take a bottle of water with you if you tend to
get thirsty and want to avoid buying a soft drink. Going into a
supermarket hungry is just asking to come out with all sorts of snack
food you don’t need. Wear comfy shoes and take something warm to
put on if you get cold walking up the freezer aisle.
Remember to take any letters that need posting and write down any
errands you want to do while you’re out, like going to the post office.
Don’t forget your reusable shopping bags if you have them, or your
unwanted plastic bags to take for recycling.
If you have to take small children with you, bring some emergency
child occupying measures, like a toy or a snack if you need to distract
them when they get a bit grouchy.
A calculator is a good thing to have on you for checking the price per
litre or kg, (or gallon or lb) unless you’re one of those amazing people
that can do it in their head. And above all, take your well prepared
list. If you need to go to a few different shops, plan what order you
want to do them in.
Part of the job of doing the shopping is putting it away when you get
home. Fully putting it away. This is a very good habit to get into and
will help keep your kitchen uncluttered.
It’s easy to keep leaving out one or two things because you’re about
to use them anyway, but unless you’re preparing a meal right now
with that thing, put it away. If there’s nowhere to put it because your
kitchen is too clogged up with stuff, we’ll fix that soon.
The more effort you spend putting the groceries away really nicely,
the nicer it will be this week as you prepare each meal.
If you ever feel overwhelmed with the amount of stuff to put away,
and it just seems too hard, just put away one thing. Go for the
seemingly hardest thing to put away. Maybe the problem is you just
don’t know where to put it and that is stopping you getting on with the
rest, causing a blockage in your mind. Give it 20 seconds or so of
thinking and it might solve itself. If not, put something else away
that’s easier. Then see how you feel and see if you can talk yourself
into putting away one more thing. Maybe you’ll get on a roll then and
get it done, or maybe you won’t, but that will be one or two things less
to put away, and you might put away one more thing next time you
walk past.
If you’ve been shopping for things other than groceries, they need
putting away too. If you’ve bought clothes, you need to check that
they’re ok, then remove the tags and hang them up or put them in the
drawer. And with clothes, it’s good to get rid of something each time
you get something new. That way your wardrobes and drawers won’t
become over stuffed.
Throw away the packaging if you’re not keeping the item in it. If it has
a warranty card and instruction book, staple them together with the
receipt and file them. I’ll tell you where later.
At the end of it, put the bags in their correct place. Plastic bags that
you’re going to use in their designated place. Ones for recycling in
their designated place. Re-usable shopping bags back in the car or
in their designated place. Any receipts that need recording or
keeping go to the appropriate folder on your desk.
Not everyone will bother with this, but if you’re on a budget I highly
recommend recording all your spending, preferably on a simple
bookkeeping programme on the computer. A cheap exercise book
will do even. As you add up each week’s spending, try to put it into
categories such as rent, utilities, transport, insurances, entertainment,
groceries and so on.
If you run a home office or use the same accounts for home and
business, you really need to record your spending for tax reasons. If
you picked up printer cartridges and other stationary at the
supermarket, you need to split it when you record your grocery
spending, and possibly file the receipt if your tax department requires
that. More on filing in the next section.
If it seems too hard to do even this, just go to one place where you
know you’ve got some paperwork and get it and bring it to your desk.
If you don’t have a desk, you’ll need something portable to store it in
that you can take to the dining table or wherever you work, and pack
up and put away again. Just gathering it and putting it all in one
place is not going to hurt, really.
You might be pretty on top of this and just need to fine tune it, or you
might be a bit out of control. In any case, behold the power of the
folder, and a waste paper basket is pretty good to have too. If you
can get some coloured manila folders, that can be really handy for
the commonly used ones. Plain is fine for stuff that’s just filed away.
For your filing, consider ring binders for some things if you need to
regularly refer to them or it’s a folder that might get too fat.
If your desk looks scary, and believe me I know it can get that way in
under an hour, do not be afraid. Take all the loose papers and stack
them up and put them in a folder. That’s better, you can’t see them.
Phew.
Now spend 5 minutes tidying your desk. Make it as nice as you can,
maybe get a drink and put some music on. Now get some empty
folders and write on them, choosing different colours for the most
frequently used ones. The main ones you’ll probably need are:
• Bills and budget – where you put any bills you receive that have
not been paid yet. As you have a computer and internet access
(I know because you bought this book) consider getting your
bills by email and having direct debits set up for most of them.
• Filing – not to be left in here forever, just til your once a week or
daily, depending how much there is, filing session.
• Pending – this is not filing for stuff you’re putting off, it’s things
you’re waiting for before you can take further action. If it has a
deadline, diary it.
Go through your unsorted pile and get it all into folders. As you do
this, if you come across anything that has a deadline, write it in your
calendar or diary before you put it in the folder. When you have done
this, you will feel your shoulders soften and a calm breeze will soothe
you.
You might like to keep all the folders away with your other filing, but
at the front, or you might like to keep them in your top drawer or right
on you desk in a document tray (so they don’t slide around and slip
off).
If you’ve got work or study stuff going on as well, folder all that up too,
and schedule separate time for it. This section is just about your
personal and household paperwork and desk stuff
Perhaps you work from home like me, or you have work that you
bring home, or you belong to a committee or club and have
paperwork or administrative work attached to that, or you have
personal projects going on, or you are very involved in your child’s
school, and some of these tasks are getting lumped in and muddled
up with your general home administration.
You need to separate them and allocate time for each, and put a time
limit on them. Tasks get forgotten and build up if you haven’t actually
acknowledged to yourself that time needs to be allocated for them.
Too many things lumped together can be overwhelming too, so break
it up and really think about the best time to do them, and how long is
a reasonable length of time to allocate – not too much all in one go,
especially if it’s boring.
When you open your mail each day, and you must open it, and when
you get notices from your child’s school, attend to whatever it is on
the spot. That is read it, then either throw it away, file it in the right
place, even if that’s the ‘needs attending to’ folder, or attend to it if it’s
convenient.
Note that it’s often the decision making component of things here that
makes us put them off. Try to recognize when that is happening and
look at what your feelings are about it. Do you feel sometimes that
you want to say no to some things but you feel guilty about it?
It’s ok to say no, you can’t do everything. You don’t have to ‘lose’ the
piece of paper to avoid making the decision. You don’t have to get
angry at anyone in order to say no either. Just decide in your own
mind whether you’re happy with your reason.
When you do sit down for your ‘desk time’ keep in mind what your
purpose is. The hour or so a week you’ve scheduled for this is not for
emailing friends, surfing the net and so on. Give yourself time to do
that, but not while you’re doing your paperwork. Stick to your
purpose, just for the allocated time.
If it’s built up to more than you can get done in the allocated time, just
do the allocated time and tackle the most important things first. You
can reduce the thickness of the folders gradually. Keep in mind that
you don’t want to double handle things if possible, and you don’t want
to file things that you don’t need. Make good use of the waste paper
basket.
As you get caught up, you should find you can do things in more
detail, such as checking what you’re paying for your insurances once
every year or two to see if you’re getting the best price, rolling over
odd bits of superannuation into the best performing fund, getting your
computer more organized (wow, practically a whole book on that one
I think), tidying up your filing and getting rid of what you no longer
need, things like that.
The bills, budget and banking part is one of the most important, and a
subject all on it’s own too. Make your bill paying as easy as possible,
and consider automating it. If you don’t use online banking already,
do give it a go, it’s great.
Budgeting
To know what’s going out, you list every bill you can think of and
check back what you’ve been paying for the last year and average it
out. This is easy enough with your electricity bill, but not so easy for
groceries and incidentals, which is why it’s a good idea to record your
spending.
You need to know when each bill is due and how much you expect it
to be. For the whole year ahead! If you’re having trouble
remembering what they all are, check through your bank statements,
credit card statements, cheque book, or the pile of receipts and bills
you’re about to sort out to make sure you haven’t missed any. Refer
to Handy Checklists for Your Home for a list of common bills.
If your income fluctuates, you need to average it out and do your best
to estimate it forward. Be honest and truthful, just the facts, not
wishful thinking. Any increase will be a bonus.
Without buying any software for budgeting, you can use an excel
spreadsheet or even just a big notepad to plan. Write all your
sources of income and all the bills down the left hand side, down to
every detail like coffees, clothing, gifts, subscriptions, postage, then
make columns for weekly, fortnightly, monthly, quarterly, half yearly
and yearly. Fill them in for however often those expenses come up.
This exercise gives you a record to refer back to and allows you to
add up the columns to see if you’re in the black or whether you’re
spending more than you can. You need to remember to keep it
updated when information changes.
Down the left write everything that has to be paid before the next
payday, with the date due and how much you expect it to be. Use the
bills list you’ve already made as a checklist to make sure you’ve got
them all.
Then write your payday and how much you’ll be getting on the right,
and under it add any other expected bits of income, and how much
you’ve got in cash & in the bank.
Add up the 2 sides and see if the difference is plus or minus. Do this
page by page up to 6 months or so in advance. You might find an
excess this month and a shortfall next month, so you’ll know to hold
off buying something because you need to pay that bill. You’ll have a
very accurate picture of where you stand this way, and it’s free and
simple. Refer to it every week when you sit down to do your bills and
paperwork, and fine tune it a bit. You need never miss a payment on
anything again.
Each week when you check your bills and budget, pay any bills which
need to be paid before the next session (and of course further ahead
than that if you like). If you find an overdue bill, if it’s likely to cause
any problems, ring the company immediately, letting them know that
you’re paying it now, or asking to make an arrangement with them if
you need to. It may not be a pleasant task, but it may save you
having something cut off, paying extra fees or damaging your credit
Automating your bill paying can take a lot of worries away, especially
with debt reduction. If you have all the money you need to cover your
bills transferred to the appropriate account on a regular basis,
automatically, and the bills paid automatically, it’s easier to stick to
your budget with spending the amount that’s left.
Lawns need doing every 2 weeks sometimes, and much less often
in the winter. (Or not at all if you get snow, but I’m sure that must
involve other tasks like clearing paths.) But there’s other stuff to do
out there too, like raking leaves, sweeping paths, pruning and
weeding. So do those other things on the weeks when the lawns
don’t need mowing. In other words, try to keep to the same routine of
spending time on it, but spread the work out evenly. When you’ve
done it, write down in your calendar if you need petrol for your mower
or other supplies.
Fill the tank, and check the oil and water while you’re doing it, at
whatever intervals you need to. If you don’t need to check the fluids
as often as you fill the tank, write it in your diary or calendar so you’ll
I find washing the car much easier to do at those drive-in car washes
that are everywhere now. Where I live we have water restrictions at
the moment, so they’re the only place you’re allowed to wash your
car anyway, as the water is recycled. If you have a nice car and don’t
want to use the brush on it, just keep a sponge in the boot. As well
as washing the outside, you vacuum it, and also wipe down the
surfaces like the dashboard and so on with a damp cloth. Some
window cleaning on the inside of the windows is needed too, and a
few drops of essential oil will freshen up the smell.
To stop clutter and rubbish building up in your car, simply develop the
habit of always emptying it of any rubbish and anything that doesn’t
belong there after each trip. If you’re sick of the food debris, don’t
allowing eating in the car.
This part involves getting things done in more detail; towards the
goal of your house looking like it’s just been spring cleaned and had a
team of expert professional organizers complete a thorough
demonstration of their service there.
Sounds way scary, but this is one of the most fun and easy parts.
Now why have I lumped all this in together? Surely there are 3
separate things here. It’s making it a very long chapter! Well, it’s
because you’re going to schedule regular time for doing these things
into your routine, and you’re only going to work on it at those times.
You can’t clean until things are organized and tidy, and you can’t
organize and tidy until you’ve gotten rid of your junk.
It gets done gradually. It’s not a task to be completed that will one
day be finished. It’s a habit that you keep permanently and grow to
love. You will eventually get to the point where everything is just how
you want it all the time and stays that way very easily.
The first thing to do for this step is to allocate time for it into your
routine. An hour or two a week is all you need, and it will work better
if you just do 15 minutes at a time if it’s difficult, no more than an hour
if you’re getting into it. So as a minimum, 15 minutes 4 days a week,
as a maximum, 1 hour 5 days a week.
Decide when is the best time for you to fit that in, and write it in your
schedule as ‘detailing’ or ‘room rotation’ or ‘de-cluttering’ or whatever
you want to call it. Write it in your diary or calendar for the week
ahead.
The next thing to do is define the areas of your home and make your
own rotation system. You want to be coming back to where you
started after about 4 or 5 weeks, so that when you get to the detailed
cleaning stage, there’s no longer than that for dust and cobwebs to
build up between cleans.
It doesn’t matter where you start or what order you do them in, but
whatever order you choose, you continue with. You work on one
area each week until you come back to the beginning and start the
cycle again. To begin with, you may not finish an area within the
week. That’s to be expected, depending how much junk there is to
clear. Just leave it and go to the next area anyway, and you’ll get a
break from this one for a bit.
List all the areas to be covered, then put them into 4 or 5 groups,
taking your best guess at making an even division of the amount of
time required. For example:
Some areas will be done more quickly than you think, others more
slowly. It doesn’t matter at all, and you can adjust it as you go.
- Something you currently need and use, which is the best one.
- Rubbish, garbage, trash.
- Items you think at first are too good to throw away, that they will
be useful to you or someone else, but that when you think
about it properly, are not even any good for the charity shop.
- Something useful but you have no need for it.
- Something you have more than one of, and this is excess to
your needs.
- Purely decorative or sentimental and you or someone in your
household enjoys it.
As you look at each object you pick up in the session, and think about
the categories listed above, you’ll find that the decision you need to
make about each object is which of these three things it is:
- Throw away
- Sell or give away
- Put away
When you’ve finished you can then sort the rubbish into which bin it
goes into, divide up the give away stuff into separate lots, for example
a bag for the charity bin, a box for the school art room, a box for
saleable items, and put away anything from the put away box which
has a home.
If it’s to put away but doesn’t have a home, you can leave it in the box
for now or decide on a home for it if you are able to do that quickly.
Just work at it for the time you’ve allocated then stop. It can be very
difficult to get yourself to stop if you feel you’re getting somewhere,
but it’s better in the long run that you do, and that you come back to it
at the next allocated time.
When you stop, leave yourself time at the end to put the give away
stuff in the car or ready to take out, put the rubbish where it goes, and
put away any items you know the home of. A proper pack up and
finish is important to mark the end of the activity.
First, get rid of rubbish. Start with obvious rubbish like empty
packaging, apple cores, contents of actual rubbish bins, old
magazines and newspapers etc.
Some people have trouble even with this part. I know someone who
ended up with a stack of newspapers a year old she wouldn’t throw
away because they had things she meant to read and hadn’t got
around to reading yet.
Someone else I know (me) had the same problem with packaging,
keeping everything to be re-used – bubble wrap, tissue paper, useful
looking boxes. What’s the good of a box full of bubble wrap and
tissue paper if you rarely have to send a package though?
If you think your child’s school can use the magazines to cut out
pictures from, or empty ice-cream containers and so on in the art
room, check with the school what they do actually need and set aside
one small box and set aside a time in your schedule to take it to
them.
If you’re not going to do this, then chuck it all out. If you don’t actually
need it, and you don’t know someone else who needs it who you will
actually take it to this week, it’s rubbish.
Do put the recyclable rubbish in the recycle bin, but don’t keep it all.
There are only so many containers you need before they just clutter
up your cupboards.
If you haven’t read something before the next issue comes out, you’re
not going to, so let it go.
A lot of people hoard things because they or their parents have been
through World War 2 or the depression or just poverty, and learned to
never waste anything. It can be very difficult to turn this thinking
around. Lots of things are useful.
But you don’t need more useful things than you are likely to use in
your lifetime. If you can’t find a person or organization who really
needs and has a use for the things you don’t need, it’s time to let
them go, to the rubbish bin. No matter how pretty that fabric off cut
is, what good condition that spare bit of rope is in, how many rubber
bands you have.
It’s all about releasing things, and releasing the uptight and anxious
feelings with them. Will something bad happen if you let it go?
Really?
Is there stuff that at first you think it’s too good to throw away, but if
you really think about it, it can’t be fixed and isn’t even good enough
for the charity shop? If you’re unsure and it’s worrying you, why not
speak to someone at a charity and ask them what things are useful
and what things just cost them money to get rid of. That’s right;
charities actually lose money having to get rid of un-useable rubbish
people have donated.
If there’s a lot of stuff that’s rubbish but too much for your bin, put it in
boxes or bin bags and stow it somewhere like the garage until either
the council has a hard rubbish collection or you have enough to fill a
small skip (dumpster). You can get an extra rubbish bin from a
private company temporarily until you stop having extra rubbish.
Next, look for things you don’t want to keep but are too good to throw
away. You may be thinking of selling it or giving it away, it doesn’t
matter for now. Just get a box and throw it all in there.
If you have more than one of something and you only need one, just
keep the best one. If it’s a gift or an ‘heirloom’ but you don’t like it,
put it in the box. There is no obligation for you to keep things you
don’t like. People tend to forget what gifts they’ve given anyway.
Have you ever given something as a gift, that seemed like a good
idea at the time but you realized later you wouldn’t like yourself?
Things go out of fashion, your taste changes, things become
Do you have things you’re keeping because you bought it but it was a
mistake? Do you feel bad about how much money it cost? Well, all
it’s doing now is annoying you and reminding you of your mistake,
and keeping it isn’t at all helpful. Let it go.
You don’t have to let everything go all at once if there’s a lot of it and
you’re finding it really hard. Grab as much as you can in this session,
and have another crack at it next time. Making constant small dents
in it will add up over time and make a big difference.
How does the thing make you feel? Do you keep thinking you should
find a use for it but haven’t? Just because the thing is good and
useful, doesn’t mean it’s any use to you. Avoid the trap of thinking
you might need it in the future too, unless you’re sure you will, like
some children’s items you’ll use for the next child. Generally, if you
don’t need it now, by the time you do need it, you’ll deserve a new
one.
Once you’ve gathered all these unwanted items, and there will always
be new ones being found, do you sell them or give them away?
Other than the occasional valuable item that you know will bring in
some money and be worth the trouble of selling, I recommend just
giving the lot away.
I’ve tried garage sales and find they’re not worth the trouble. Dealers
will knock on your door before the start time and talk you into selling
most of the good stuff as a job lot, and you’ll spend the rest of the
time wasting your precious weekend for a pittance. It might be easier
EBay items need posting or waiting for collection and so on. Ask
yourself if it’s really worth it. How valuable is your time? The idea of
this whole organization thing is to make good use of your time. Think
about how much money you might realistically get for this unwanted
stuff. Now how much of your precious time will it take to sell it?
If you give it away, you’re helping others and saving yourself a lot of
hassle. If it’s going to the charity bin, put it in the car now so you can
drop it off next time you’re out. Sometimes the charity may come and
pick it up for you, especially if it’s furniture. Give them a ring and find
out.
Some people really want to keep things to give to people they know,
preferring this to giving it to a charity to be useful to somebody they
don’t know. This is where you need to get realistic.
If you really think someone might find something useful, ring them
and ask them, and give them a chance to say no. If it’s been hanging
around for a while, do you think that might be because it’s really not
any use to anyone you know? It’s ok for things to be given away
outside the family.
What if your house and all it’s contents was destroyed and you had to
start again? Would you choose to have all the same stuff you have
now? Would you want as much stuff as you have now?
Or would you enjoy the fact that you were free now to have a more
minimalist lifestyle? Well, you’re free now, in your current home, to
have whatever you want there and live however you like. If there’s
clutter that’s sucking the life out of you, start now and let some of it
go.
If you have a tendency to shop pointlessly buying small items of, let’s
face it, clutter, because it soothes you, have a look at this habit and
whether you can change it to work better for you. If money is not the
issue, just the junk, then look for things to shop for which don’t cause
clutter, like fresh flowers, music, movies, exotic food, massages,
concert tickets and so on. Go to the movies or out to lunch instead,
or to a museum or art gallery or a class or the library. See what other
fun things you can find to do at the mall. Get your hair or nails done.
When you do bring something new into your home, see if you can let
something else go to even it out. Remember, reducing clutter and
simplifying is an ongoing process. It’s a habit you can develop.
If you have friends or family who continue to give you their hand me
downs or cast offs after you’ve stopped needing them, learn to say no
thanks. It may have started off well; you just moved out on your own
and were happy to accept bits and pieces from others to get you
started. But sometimes this becomes a habit and lasts long past the
need for any assistance in setting yourself up.
When you see fabulous things in the shops that you just have to
have, ask them if they can hold it for you while you go have a coffee,
cool off and think. Do you know where it will go, what you will use it
for, how you will maintain it, wash it etc? Does it look really nice in
Kitchen
Do you have too much stuff that’s kept for ‘best’? What’s the point of
having beautiful things if you only use them a couple of times a year
or never? Reconsider what you use. Yes, things do get broken. But
you might take that bone china out only once a year to use and still
manage to break a piece. Should it be in a museum? I use the best
china now for my family (members older than 2) to eat on every day.
There might be some items you like but don’t use, which you can find
a new use for. I have a lovely girly 3 tier cake stand that doesn’t fit in
my crystal cabinet. There is very little other display space in my
kitchen at the moment, and there would rarely be an occasion I would
have to use it for dainty little cakes. But it’s great next to the stove
top with ripening tomatoes and avocadoes, garlic, chillies and so on
that are commonly used. It also looks great with ripening fruit on it,
ripest on the top layer of course, even your fruit can be organized.
Look for things that haven’t been used much for a while, and see if
you can find a good use for it, or ask yourself whether it’s really worth
having. Remember, not useful to you but too good to throw away
means give it away and let it be useful to somebody else. Now.
Useful to you includes enjoying just looking at it though. Some items
may be just looking for a place to be displayed.
For things you have multiples of, such as drinking glasses, tea cups,
serving bowls and so on, imagine you’re having the biggest family
meal or party you’re ever likely to have, and exactly how many of
everything you’ll need. Don’t keep any more than this, and if there’s
For every day use, the more glasses you have in the cupboard, the
more there are to wash, and the more you have to shuffle things
around in the cupboard to fit them all in as you’re putting them away
and looking for things. Just keep the best ones.
Do you love all your gadgets? I love a gadget, but some just don’t
earn their keep or are too old. Some take longer to clean and put
away than if you just used a good knife. Make sure your gadgets are
earning their keep and paying for their kitchen real estate. Any that
aren’t, well, you know what to do with them.
I was undecided for ages about the asparagus cooker that seemed
like such a good thing. Long asparagus can be hard to fit into a
normal steamer or saucepan. But the tall skinny pot looked like it
would tip over easily with boiling water in it, so I let it go and I’ll just
have to bend my asparagus a bit.
I once fell for an onion chopper that looked, in theory, like a very
handy thing. It wasn’t. And it sat in the cupboard, in my way, for
much longer than it needed to before I faced up to it’s uselessness
and the wasted money, and threw it in the bin so as not to burden
anyone else with it’s uselessness.
How much plastic ware should you have? If there’s tons of it falling
out of the cupboards, maybe you can use some to store dry goods in
your pantry or food cupboard. Imagine you’ve just had a big family
dinner with lots of leftovers. What containers would you need?
Do you have too much stuff out on display on the countertops? You
need to be able to clean the bench tops easily and you need space to
work in. Less is more, as they say. A clean surface with one or two
shiny stylish items is better than a jumble of little bits and pieces,
however cute they may be. Not that it should look like a display
home with no personal touches, but the aesthetic benefits of an item
are diminished it they’re among a jumble of too much other stuff.
The top of the fridge can be a place that attracts clutter, and also the
window sill and the area near the phone and calendar. In fact there
are probably a few places in your kitchen like this, where pizza
menus, business cards, rubber bands, and many odd and interesting
bits and pieces seem to gather. If you keep them clear people will
eventually get the idea and stop putting things there.
If you’ve decided you don’t like that shampoo and you’re not going to
use it, chuck it out or use it to clean the shower with. Get rid of
outdated medications and creams. Take stuff out of the room that
doesn’t belong there. Empty the rubbish. Get rid of anything broken
or duplicated.
Look for broken things that aren’t going to be fixed and any bits and
pieces which have been stored in here ‘temporarily’ as you no longer
need them.
Linens
The ideal amount of sheet sets is 3 per bed. One on the bed, one in
the wash and one spare. Two is Ok, but you might have the second
set in the laundry not washed yet and need a spare set. If you have
more than 3 per bed, just keep the best 3 and get rid of the rest. It is
handy to have spare mattress protectors too, because they can take
a while to dry.
With towels I like two or three per person, a couple of spares, enough
hand towels to change them daily, plenty of face washers (wash
cloths, flannels) and 2 bath mats per bathroom. If you have kids, it’s
great to have different coloured towels for each child or have their
name embroidered on them. That way there’s no question as to
whose is whose.
2 pillows per person and a couple of spares, 1 quilt per person and 1
or 2 spares, 1 light blanket or bedspread per person and a couple of
spares. 1 or 2 good picnic blankets (waterproof backing is great).
Not too many throw rugs. What are they for and how many do you
need? A couple of attractive ones which look nice draped over the
couch, for putting over your knees, and for kids to build cubbies with.
If you have a lot of decorative linens you can’t find a use for at the
moment, just keep the most special ones that really give you
pleasure.
Master bedroom
This is another place that can easily end up as spare storage space.
You don’t want anything in here that doesn’t belong if you can help it.
If you’ve brought more and more stuff in here to get it out of sight,
there’s likely to be plenty amongst it you can just get rid of.
If your clothes are in a mess and you don’t seem to have enough
storage, you probably have too many clothes. It’s better to have a
small selection of things that are comfortable, flattering, fit well and in
good condition, than loads of stuff that you’re just not going to wear.
There could be nice clothes in there that you’re not using because
they’re forgotten under all the rubbish. A chest of drawers and a
couple of metres of rod space should be enough for most people,
unless you’re in show business or something. If that statement just
If you can find everything you normally wear, group it all together as a
starting place, and as you find good, wearable clothes, add them to
this place. If you have a friend who dresses well, why not ask him or
her to come and spend some time with you to offer opinions on which
things suit you.
Same goes for collections of model cars or planes, that sort of stuff.
It’s dusting you have to do. Should you get a glass display cabinet,
or put them in plastic storage boxes for safe keeping, or just move on
from that phase and let them go.
Your bedroom will be more peaceful, restful and romantic with less
clutter. Let it reflect who you are now and who you want to be. And if
you share it with your partner, do make sure you’re taking their tastes
into consideration as well as your own.
Children’s bedrooms
If you’re keeping toys for the next child, box and label them with the
appropriate age group and a description of the kinds of things which
are in the box, e.g. baby board books & toys, toys & books age 3
plus. Storing things in boxes is totally fine as long as you can easily
find what’s in them when you need them, so there’s no such thing as
too much information on the side of the box.
As the kids get older you can do the twice yearly sort out together
with them, getting them in the habit themselves of purging their
clutter. What a great skill to pass on.
Your living space should contain comfortable places to sit, and items
related to relaxing and socialising. We tend to have things like the
TV, sound system, movie and music collections, books, magazines
and hobbies. Those of us with children often keep some toys here
too. The room shouldn’t be used as storage or a dumping ground.
So the first thing to do is get everything out of the room that you
possibly can which is not useful to your relaxation and doesn’t belong
here.
Don’t lose your home movies on video though. Put these in a special
boxed marked ‘home movies’, and keep them somewhere safe until
you can get them all converted to digital.
Dining room
See linen closet section regarding table linens and kitchen section
regarding dishes. If you have a lot of formal dining ware, decorative
items, display bowls, vases and so on, just keep the ones you love.
Do you really have to keep everything that’s not to your taste any
more (or never was) just because it was a wedding gift?
A history tutor once told me letters are one of the best references for
historians, because they are so un-biased. As letter writing is
becoming so out-dated, collections of letters are often old. If you
have any collections of letters, particularly if they’re from your parents
or older relatives, they really may be worth keeping. Younger
generations wanting to know more about their ancestors’ lives may
be fascinated by them. Movies and novels may be created from
them. Who knows?
I also seem to have spare keyboards, mice, cards from inside the
computer, cables and so on. Some things you just know you’re not
going to use again, but they might be handy, like CD ROMs or
graphics cards. Keep just the spares you might use if one blows up,
and throw the rest away unless you can get any money for them on
E-bay. Put the spares away in a box, and label the box with the exact
contents, i.e. graphics card, keyboard, modem, USB hub and so on.
Fortunately clutter inside the computer doesn’t make the room look
messy, but it can slow your computer down and annoy you. So give
the delete key a bit of a run.
Is it scary in there? Can you park your car in there? Can you find
the lawnmower? If it’s pretty bad, remember to just keep to your
short sessions. The annual council hard rubbish collection is a
perfect opportunity to clear out the garage. A lot of items are picked
up by other people before they’re collected as rubbish, which is great,
because you know it’s going to get more use.
Is there stuff in there that’s not even yours? You could give the
owner of the stuff a time limit to collect it, and let them know it will be
going in the rubbish skip if it’s not gone by then. If your children are
travelling overseas or something and you’re storing things for them,
fine, but if they have their own home and are able to move it and just
haven’t, you need to draw the line somewhere.
Unless it’s decorative, just about everything is better off out of sight in
a cupboard or drawer. Some people prefer open storage so they can
see things, and that’s fine, as long as it’s tidy and looks nice. If your
storage is well organized, not over full and everything is in it’s place,
you’ll always be able to find things.
Having your surfaces clear makes the room look tidier, more
spacious and more attractive, and has a calming effect. It makes
cleaning a lot easier too. The cupboards and drawers will get sorted
out eventually, just put the stuff away as best you can for now.
It’s very simple. You tidy up after yourself as you go, always.
If you are going to put something down, you put it where it goes. You
don’t put anything down ‘temporarily’.
Some really quick and obvious things to do to make a room look tidy
are closing all the cupboard doors and drawers properly, making a
bed, and picking up anything that is on the floor.
Spare laundry baskets are handy for quick pick ups. If you haven’t
had time to put away everything in the basket, at least now you have
a nice clear floor and surfaces, and there are only 2 places to look for
things, in their designated place or in the basket.
Once you’ve got to this point and got the room tidy, the habit of
keeping it tidy and putting things away as you go will come much
more easily. If you tidy up as you go, there is never any tidying up to
do, ever.
There are places which seem to repeatedly attract clutter around the
house, like coffee tables, side tables, desks, hall tables, tops of
dressers and so on. Don’t allow things to be left behind in these
places and accumulate. If things keep getting left behind, gather
them all up in a box or basket. You can then carry it around the
house returning things to the right rooms. If you see your kids about
to leave behind some shoes or something, remind them to take their
things with them when they leave the room.
If you persist with putting these bits and pieces away every day when
you do your quick tidy up, the family will soon catch on. Mess and
clutter attracts more of the same. If a room is lovely and clean and
clear, people think twice about disrespecting that peace.
The habit of doing this work in small goes should be kicking in now,
so you’ll be able to just limit yourself to one or two drawers, shelves
or cupboards at a time. You might even need several sessions just to
get one drawer or shelf done.
Everyone has their own way of storing things, but I’m going to give
you examples and suggestions for every room. It’s not an exhaustive
list of exactly how to have everything, just some things to think about.
Do it your way, the goal being to have things in the most logical place
for your convenience.
With items which are stored away and not used frequently, as well as
being sure to clearly label all boxes, even list their exact contents on
the outside, it’s a good idea to keep a list of which items are stored
where. This is the ultimate in organized storage. It does take time to
make and duplicate a contents list for each box or container, but it
really can pay off.
Suitably sized boxes with lids make sense for storing things away,
because they can be stacked. Any will do if clearly labelled, but the
best kind is clear plastic. Decorative ones are good too if they’re on
display, as long as they’re colour coded or clearly labelled. For small
items, glass jars, shoe boxes, plastic ice-cream containers, lunch
boxes and pencil cases make good storage. Make sure they’re
labelled though.
As you try to maximise your storage space, look for pockets of space,
usually vertical space, which is not being effectively utilised. If you
Kitchen
Where to locate your dishes is the first decision that comes to mind.
They should be in the most logical place for putting away after
washing, and for having access to them for serving meals. If you
have children you may want to make sure they’re in reach.
Serving platters, oven trays, chopping boards, trays and flat things
like that tend to waste a lot of vertical space and be stacked on top of
each other. It’s good to have a number of horizontal shelves close
together, or a cupboard where they can be stored upright with
notches or bits sticking up to stop them from falling over.
Colanders and strainers need to be near the sink, and it’s really
handy to have a hook to hang them on. This allows you to grab them
easily to use, and makes it easier to clean them and put them away,
as they take up a lot of space if left out. I think they’re attractive
enough to be on display. If not, maybe it’s time you got rid of the one
with the broken, melted plastic frame and got something sturdier.
Cutlery should be in sections for knives, forks, spoons etc, with all the
handles facing the same way. Yes, that one’s really obvious, but I’ve
seen plenty of houses where it was all jumbled in a drawer, and you
can buy a divider tray very easily.
Under the sink is the usual place for cleaning products, but some
clever toddlers can figure out those child proof latches, so it might be
worth putting them in a high cupboard rather than under the sink if
you have kids.
You might like to allocate a cupboard that babies and toddlers are
allowed to play in with some plastics and pots, to keep them occupied
while you’re busy in the kitchen. A baby gate to block off access to
the part of the kitchen containing the stove makes life a lot easier too
if there are kids around.
Now you can drive yourself nuts trying to find the ideal location for
everything. Don’t. If it needs rearranging, spend a limited time
thinking about it, imagining you just moved in and were deciding
where to put things. Unfortunately, we can’t always choose where
things are located because of the kitchen design. Just keep like
items with like items, and try to keep things as close as possible to
where they’ll be used.
If things are working fine where they are, leave them there. The main
thing is for your cupboards not to be too full, and for things to be
grouped and put away in the correct place so that you can find and
access everything as easily as possible.
You want all your clothes washing bits and pieces within easy reach
of the washing machine, and stored neatly. Some shelves near the
machines are very handy. Big hooks to hang the baskets on gets
them out of your way and easy to grab. You can get cheap and
simple gadgets which hang over the door for various things. There’s
one with a row of hooks on it suitable for brooms, mops, dusters and
so on. There’s one that is a mini drying rack for drying delicates on.
And there’s ones that are designed to hang a row of hangers on.
There’s also hooks designed to hang your ironing board on.
Whatever other bits and pieces you keep in here, group them. All the
pegs together in a container, all the shoe cleaning stuff together in a
container, all the ironing bits like clothes brushes, spray bottles and
so on together, sewing things together.
See if you can bring in a nice picture or something to give the room a
more pleasant feel. It doesn’t seem to occur to us to decorate the
laundry, but it is a space we often use.
Bathroom
There are a lot of things you use every day, but keeping them all out
on the counter or around the sink makes it hard to keep it clean – too
many things to pick up and wipe under. It also makes the room look
cluttered and messy.
You really need some kind of storage in the bathroom for your bits
and pieces. No matter how clutter free it is, there’s a lot of stuff in
there you really need, especially if the room is used by more than one
person. And you don’t want it all on display. Fancy perfume bottles
and fluffy co-ordinated towels and so on may look nice, but what
about the less glamorous looking stuff like spare toilet paper, band
aids, hair curlers, nail clippers and so on.
A tall skinny bookshelf which will fit into a little nook somewhere, with
attractive square baskets to fit some of the shelves. Or a bookshelf
that has a cupboard door on the bottom half. Or a suitably sized free
standing chest of drawers. Free standing pieces of furniture like this
will only work though if there’s just the right spot for them, so they
don’t end up getting in the way and making the room cramped.
If there’s a place for a mirror above the sink, why not have one with a
cupboard behind it. As well as easy access to commonly used items
at the right height so you can get to them without bending, a mirrored
cupboard above the sink has the added advantage of bringing the
mirror closer to you so you don’t have to bend forward to look into it
really closely for things like shaving or putting on makeup. I think tiny
little ones are a bit stingy, and you should go for the biggest possible
one that will fit in the space available.
If your sink has a cabinet underneath, the drawers are very handy for
hair brushes, hair dryers, tubes, makeup and so on. Cupboards
under sinks are often wasted space, especially for smaller items, but
you can get much more use out of it by adding some small portable
drawers inside it.
Measure the space, allowing for the plumbing underneath, and keep
the measurements with you when you go shopping so if you come
across anything you can check if it fits. You might need to take a
And of course there’s all manner of handy little shelves, hooks and
holders which can be attached to the wall, available from places like
Ikea. The more stuff you can find a suitable place for, the easier it is
to keep the room clean and tidy.
Depending how much space you have, storing spare towels in the
bathroom can be attractive and handy. If there’s not much room,
perhaps just the hand towels and face washers.
Only keep one of each product you are using in the place with easiest
access, and have a designated place to keep all your spares.
I love clear plastic storage boxes. They come in all sorts of sizes,
they stack easily, you can see what’s in them, they stop things getting
damaged, lost or jumbled up. They’re just fantastic. Get some. Get
some now.
Keep your bedside table clear of stuff so you’ve got room for just a
nice lamp, a clock and a drink, somewhere to put your book and your
glasses. Don’t pile too much stuff here, use your drawers.
If you’re short of drawer or shelf space, hang more things like jeans.
If you’re short of hanging space, fold anything that won’t look funny
with fold marks. If you have a big difference in seasons, you might
want to put clothes away at the end of the season and change them
over to give yourself more space. Space bags and clear plastic
boxes are great for this.
A very logical way to double your hanging space is to have two rows,
double hanging, one rod under the other. You need to have enough
Everything else, like skirts, pants, shirts and jackets can be hung in
two rows. Measure the length of your longest short hanging item,
and measure the height of the inside of the wardrobe, to see if you
can do it. If you can do it, there are rods available which simply hang
from the one above, requiring no installation.
If shelves would be handy and you don’t have any, this is a cheap,
quick and easy way to get some. I love these because they’re so
cheap and easy, and maximise the use of vertical space otherwise
wasted. Using them to get all your shoes off the floor makes the
wardrobe so much tidier, and easier to vacuum.
If you have a lot of shoes, you’ll need to keep many of them in their
boxes. You can write on the box, have the label facing out if it
identifies the shoes, put a Polaroid photo on the outside of the box, or
use clear shoe boxes.
Hooks on the back of the wardrobe door are great for bags and belts.
You might even keep a bag hanging there where you put all your
clothes to be donated as you come across them on an ongoing basis.
I’m talking about toys here, even though in my house most of the
toys are in the lounge room as the little ones like to play where they
can see me.
It’s best not to have too many toys out all at once, because the kids
get bored with them, don’t appreciate them, they get all mixed up and
damaged, it’s harder to tidy them up, and they forget what they’ve
got. Having a big toy box with everything thrown in there just means
they will tip out the whole lot looking for things, and there will be more
mess to clean up.
The best thing to do is to rotate the toys, just like they do at pre-
school, and change them regularly. They’ll get to play with all their
toys without getting bored with them and without tipping the lot onto
the floor in a great big jumble, and it will be a nice surprise for them to
see what’s out today.
Don’t have the boxes too big. You might just have one big box for
large toys, and bring out a couple of large toys and put them on a
shelf each time you bring out new toys. Keep the rest of the toys in
smaller boxes, and bring out 2 or 3 boxes at a time, changing them
weekly, or 1 box at a time, changing them daily, or whatever works
best.
You’ll also need a few boxes which are just mixed toys. Hint: If you
have multiples of toys like shape sorters, nesting cups and so on with
many pieces, and which they won’t want more than one of at a time
anyway, don’t put them all in one toy box, spread them out evenly.
Having only 2 or 3 boxes of toys out at a time makes it much easier at
pack up time to group things in their sets and return things to the
appropriate boxes.
I do have all the books appropriate for their age group permanently
out on the shelf, but if you had a very large amount of them and the
kids were too young not to spread them all over the room, you could
always rotate these in batches too.
Clothes
Lounge/living/family room
Make sure everything like books, CDs, DVDs and so on are grouped
together. When you want to find something there should only be one
place you need to look.
Books are best arranged by type first, i.e. fiction, non-fiction, then into
categories, like art, fishing etc, and the fiction by author or style. It
doesn’t matter too much, if you have a rough idea of which area you
will find a book in.
I think many people who enjoys their book and music collections, take
great pleasure in re-arranging them from time to time, and this is so
much more fun in a clean and tidy, un-cluttered room.
Remember, coffee tables and side tables are not storage, except for
decorative items. Yes, a small pile of books you’re currently reading
can be decorative.
Games simply need to be all in the correct boxes and neatly placed
somewhere, all in the same place.
If you have hobbies and projects on the go, they need a proper home
where they won’t get messed up or need to be moved out of the way.
You don’t want your hard work undone or missing pieces or parts
getting damaged, and nobody wants to keep picking it up off the
couch, the desk or the dining table every time they want to use the
space.
Dining room
If you don’t have room to display all the decorative items you like,
consider rotating them from time to time.
If you use the dining table for projects, or as a desk, you need places
to easily put those things away each day when you’ve finished with
them. Don’t let things ‘live’ on the dining table, even if you don’t use it
daily.
My views about filing are pretty simple. Don’t keep it if you don’t
need it, if you do need to keep it, identify how long you need to keep
it for and how often you’re likely to want to find it. Identify suitable
categories so you know what to label your folders, label them clearly,
and always put things in their correct folder, immediately or at least
weekly. Take out as much as you add so it doesn’t grow and grow.
More and more people have scanners these days, and they’re a great
way of getting rid of paper clutter. Not only does it get rid of the need
to keep physical hard copies of many things, the act of having to go
to the trouble of scanning it makes you think more carefully about
whether you really need it at all.
When you put papers in a folder, it’s better to use staples than paper
clips, so papers don’t become attached where they’re not supposed
to, or become accidentally detached.
To help you remember what goes in each folder, how long you need
to keep these items for and so on, you can write extra information on
the front of the folder.
For example ‘tax 2002, all claimable receipts 2001 to 2002 and tax
return, throw away July 2007’ if you had to keep it for 5 years. Check
with your accountant or tax department what your requirement is.
Envelope pocket folders are good for tax papers if they’re not too
thick, and you can put them in a box in the attic or an awkward high
cupboard, out of the way if you don’t need to refer to them. Clearly
label the box with what’s in it and when exactly you can throw it away.
At the end of each financial year, you may be able to throw away your
oldest financial papers. Again, check with your accountant or tax
department.
If you have a bunch of papers that you need to collect more of than
will fit in a manila folder, or you need to look through them frequently
whilst keeping them in order, then something which holds papers
which have been hole punched is the way to go.
You can get little rubber and plastic things which make a manila
folder into a folder you can look through without papers falling out.
These gizmos are much better than metal spiky things and can take
quite a thick pile of papers.
Any documents which you would not want to lose, such as passports,
birth certificates, marriage certificates, references, resumes, school
reports, qualifications, valuation certificates, insurance documents,
wills and so on, should be scanned onto your computer, and kept in
plastic pockets and in a different coloured folder and all in the same
area, so they can be quickly grabbed if you need to evacuate.
Assess whether it’s just the information you need, or the document
itself. Is it replaceable or not? Would you need to physically use it in
an emergency situation or not? Highly personal or sentimental
documents come under this category also, like letters and journals.
Every time you buy an appliance or a gadget for your home, you have
another instruction book or manual. The problem with hole punching
So I like magazine files. You can get very attractive ones, you can
label them on the outside, and you can use coloured cardboard
dividers inside to roughly categorise them, for example computer,
appliances, audio visual equipment and so on.
Some people like to keep the manual with the appliance, and this
makes sense if it’s new and you’re still learning how to drive it. Once
you do though, and you only need it occasionally, I think it’s best to
file it. So there are only 2 places the instruction book can be, with the
gadget, or filed with the others.
What about stuff like kids’ artwork and school photos and reports?
Magazine files or ring binders are handy for lots of things like that
which are too fat for folders and which you don’t want to punch holes
in.
With kids’ artwork, date it as it comes in and add it to the back of the
magazine file (when it comes down off the fridge or whatever). Once
or a few times a year, just keep your favourites for that year. You can
end up with massive stacks if you keep every single scribble or
project they ever did. What will you or your child want to look back
on? I suggest one or two items per year at the most. When they get
to doing school work, the things I like the best to keep are diaries and
stories of their life. You might even want to scan a few of the most
special things for safe keeping, like you would with photos.
School reports are best put into plastic pockets into a ring binder, or
into a document folder with plastic pockets. Lately though, the
schools have been sending them to me as web pages!
Now everything on your computer needs backing up. You might have
a big music collection on there, and that would be annoying and time
consuming to replace, but not irreplaceable. Your photos and home
movies are, so get them backed up, as well as any other documents
on your computer you don’t want to lose, like your half finished novel,
your favourite recipes etc, and keep a spare copy outside the house
somewhere safe.
This is so much easier now with DVD burners and all the other new
technology available. I believe some things can even be saved by
emailing them to yourself or using photo sharing sites and so on,
where you’re using someone else’s server as storage.
Hallways
With all rooms, avoid using the floor as storage. You want to be able
to run around with the vacuum cleaner without stopping to lift things
up. Try to find a place for everything off the floor. Put up some extra
hooks if need be. There are cheap storage things that just hang over
doors which can be very handy.
Where does this stuff go? There needs to be one place only where
keys go. I suggest you make it the same place where you re-charge
your mobile phone. I also suggest you keep your handbag or
briefcase in the same place, so that when you leave the house you
remember to take your phone. You could even plug your phone into
the charger then sit it inside your handbag.
Wherever you decide to put your keys, phone and bag, is the ideal
spot for a launching pad area. When you have letters ready to post
or library books ready to return or anything that needs to leave the
house, you put it in this area. Speaking of library books, note the due
date on your calendar as soon as you get them.
Try to make a spot where there’s room for guests to safely put their
things down too. I had a regular house guest who had a habit of
dumping her handbag on the kitchen bench, with her keys and
sunglasses spilling out of it. I then had no room to make the tea. I
This might sound like way too much, or you might have other
essentials, but do keep your handbag nice. I still remember those
magazine ads for Glomesh bags in the 70s where they had a picture
of a celebrity with the contents of their handbag. What if yours was
spilled out and photographed right now, and the picture published in a
women’s magazine? It could happen!
Speaking of thing we carry around with us, and the notepad, I can’t
remember when I last didn’t need a notepad on me at all times. I
have a spiral bound one which has lists of shopping items, such as
clothing items the kids need, measurements for hardware items or
household items I want, and I’m always scribbling ideas in.
The only thing is, if you write down a phone number or a To Do item,
you need to transfer that information to your contact list or address
book or diary or calendar or task list. If you have a phone with
notebook capabilities or a PDA, you can gradually adjust to keeping
some of your lists on there.
Make sure there’s always pen and paper next to it, or all of them if
you have several. If the phone is a known drainer of your time, set
time limits for yourself. There’s nothing rude about politely saying
from the outset that you have a limited amount of time for the call, or
ending the call because you have something you need to do.
As for unwanted sales calls, ask them to hold and don’t come back to
them. Or inform them that you never buy or give to a charity if they
ring you uninvited. (This is also what I tell any sales people or
charities that come to the door, except the Salvation Army who come
once a year and you know when so you’re expecting them, and are a
charity I’ve chosen anyway).
When you make notes from a phone call, take it straight to your desk,
diary or calendar and write down what you need to – you don’t want
to be hunting for that bit of paper with the info you need, keep it in
one place only. When the note jotted on a bit of paper is completed,
throw it away, or cross it out if there’s other things on there.
The garage
If you have stuff you want to store there, clear plastic boxes which
can be stacked and labelled are great, and protect your items from
damp and creepy crawlies. Hanging things on the wall of the garage
makes it look a lot cleaner and also makes it easier to sweep in there.
Some shelving and a workbench are good to have too.
I like my tools in an open plastic caddy so I can see what’s there and
carry it around easily. (And I actually keep them in the pantry
cupboard, as I often seem to need them for little things around the
house).
If you have a great stack of tools, do the peg board thing on the wall.
If you’re very serious about your tools you might even have one of
those toolboxes on wheels with drawers. Make sure you put them
back where they go.
Once you can park your car in there, try the old tennis ball trick for
getting your car in the right spot. Park you car in the right place, then
hang a tennis ball from the ceiling so that it just touches the window
of your car when you’re in the right spot. It will make it easier to
judge the distance.
When you’ve got your room de-cluttered, tidy and organized, at least
enough that you can get around with a vacuum cleaner now, you start
doing regular detailed cleaning. When the detailed cleaning has
been completed once, it will be like your whole house has been
spring cleaned.
With all rooms, start by dusting. Start at the highest point first and
move downwards. So that’s ceiling fans and light fittings, the tops of
doorframes and doors, window frames, pelmets, any hanging pictures
or ornaments on the walls, the tops of furniture, working down to
window sills and skirting boards.
Next wipe out or dust inside all the cupboards and any ornaments or
items on display that have gotten dusty.
Then vacuum, sweep and mop more thoroughly than usual, getting
into all the corners and under furniture, and looking out for any
cobwebs.
Look for any marks on walls and doors that need wiping, especially
around doorknobs, door frames and light switches. Glass and mirrors
need dusting and polishing with some window cleaner.
Kitchen
Clean the stove and oven and inside the microwave, wipe all the
bench tops, wipe the fronts of the cupboards. Yes, start with what
you can see. Put the extractor fan filters through the dishwasher.
Wipe down the outside of the fridge. Pull the fridge out and clean
behind it. Pull the filter out of the dishwasher and clean it. Wipe out
the inside of the rubbish bin. Give the sink a scrub. If the sink is in
front of a window, clean the inside of the glass, even if you don’t do
all the other windows in your house very often. This one is highly
visible and gets little splashes on it. Yes, the stove and oven and
microwave should be cleaned as part of your daily routine, but if they
haven’t been, attend to them now, or just do it a bit more thoroughly.
Look for things that are greasy and dusty, like the tops of appliances,
wall clock, top of the extractor fan, tops of canisters, anything out on
display that’s gotten grimy. Get the crumbs out of the toaster, polish
up the kettle, wash the curtains or blinds, wipe out the insides of the
cupboards. Wash all the cutlery in hot soapy water and rinse and
It can seem never ending in here, and you need to get on with the
rest of your life, so do stick to your time limit and come back and do
some more next time. It will get shinier and shinier over time.
Laundry
Give the sink a good clean including the edges. Wipe inside the lid
of the washing machine where all those dusty corner bits gather, and
wipe down the lid. Vacuum up all the fluff behind the tumble dryer,
and any cobwebs. Clean up any spilled washing powder. If your
brooms have gotten grimy from sweeping over something moist,
wash the bristles in warm soapy water and dry in the sun.
Bathroom
Just dust and vacuum in here if it needs it, and wipe over the
shelves, especially if they have sheets and towels on them.
Bedrooms
Vacuum the mattress and turn it. It gets rid of dust mites. Sunshine
kills dust mites too, so it’s good to hang your quilt and pillows out in
the sunshine on a nice day, or get them in front of a sunny window.
Wash the mattress protector. The quilt could do with a wash once a
year. Anything bigger than a single will need to go to the laundrette
to go in the big front loader, or to be professionally cleaned if it can’t
be washed.
It’s not so common to have silver to polish these days, but if you do
have it, get out the polish. Favourite items first. Rather than
spending ages once a year, do one piece each time you come to the
dining room. Spread it out.
See if the dining chairs need wiping down and do some detailed
dusting. Some dining chairs have seats that pop off, allowing you to
While your computer is turned off, clean it. Dust the outside, wipe
the screen and the keyboard. Get the dust off the fan part of the
computer. Particularly look for dust bunnies gathering around all the
cords.
Garage
Now that the junk is gone and your things are stored neatly, just
sweep. Look upwards for cobwebs as well as doing the floor.
While you’re outside with a broom, check for dust and cobwebs
around your external doors and windows and under the eaves.
As you add more things to your schedule, don’t lose sight of the
basic routines. The basic routines are what you decided were
essential. They are essential because they are the basics of taking
care of yourself and your family. Additional things can be let go in a
crisis, but you want the basics to always stay in place and become
part of your life.
When you add more details to the basic routines, you don’t want to
end up with a great big long list of things it would be good to do but
you never get around to doing. Don’t write down every little thing
that’s obvious to you, or that you already remember.
Just write down what you need help to remember. For instance,
when you clean up after dinner, obviously you do the dishes or load
and start the dishwasher, but perhaps you often forget to empty the
bin, or you prefer to start the dishwasher before bed, but you tend to
forget. Or there might be some little extra things you want to do for
yourself but need help to remember til you get them established. Add
Here’s an example:
Make bed
Reset alarm clock
Open curtains
Leave room tidy
Shower
5 minute bathroom clean
Dress nicer
Check emails
Look up one word from list in dictionary
Grocery shopping
Visit library
Vacuum floor
Empty vacuum cleaner
When you add your extra things, have the original, essential items
highlighted or a different colour or something. This is to remind you
which things are your essentials, that you never let go of, and which
ones are just extra things you’d like to remember.
What about playing with your kids, spending time with your partner,
staying in touch with your extended family, and having a social life?
Traditions and routines are great for family and social things. Things
like half an hour after dinner when you get down on the floor with your
kids and play with them, a habit of reading or singing to them at
bedtime, having an outing with them every Saturday, having
extended family get togethers for birthdays and other special
occasions, a special time every year when you have a BBQ and invite
all your friends, a ritual of going to lunch with one or three or
whatever of your friends once a week or once a month, Sunday lunch
where you do a special meal and invite people over, play dates,
afternoon tea, coffee mornings, regular phone call times.
If you can get a good tradition established, it’s not just you that will
benefit; it can bring a whole family together. Make a list of ideas that
would work for you as traditions. Some will be daily, weekly, monthly,
yearly and so on. Start by adding one daily item to your routine, and
one item for the coming week such as a phone call. You only need to
tackle one at a time, and put it in your diary or calendar to be
arranged.
If you have young kids it can be hard to arrange social things around
them, and if you’ve become a bit house bound you might be nervous
about calling a friend. You can schedule yourself a time each week
You need time for yourself to do your own individual things too, and
this is really important. As you’re working out your afternoon/evening
routine, take this into consideration and see how the balance is
looking.
Attending to your health and well being is easy to let go, but should
be seen as a priority worthy of spending regular time on. Everyone
knows regular exercise is good for you. It’s not just good for your
heart and blood circulation and metabolism; it also releases
endorphins and makes you happier, helping avoid depression.
Get exercise incorporated into your basic daily routine as soon as you
can. Like eating well and getting enough sleep, it helps keep
everything working. I know it’s not essential, unless you have a dog
who needs walking, in which case it is; and you do get some exercise
anyway just doing your daily stuff, so I’ve put it in this section as well
as in the basic daily routine section. But you want it there as soon as
you can. Make it a priority, but not til you’ve done the dishes and the
washing.
You also need to schedule regular visits to your doctor and dentist,
and whatever other health checks you need. As a minimum, you
should see your doctor and your dentist once a year. Put it in your
calendar or diary now. Keep a list of annual events like this and what
month they occur, so you can write them in your calendar for next
year when you get your new one. Don’t forget the optometrist if you
need to.
Think of what you’re grateful for or happy about every day as part of
this activity. Think about your purpose and your values, and look for
guidance towards the positive things you want, which will benefit all.
Use this time to direct your thoughts towards what you want, what
you believe in, and what makes you happy. Use it to let go of past
hurt and anger, and practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is extremely
empowering, as it takes power away from those who have hurt you
and returns that power to you.
If your routine is so full of stuff and work that you don’t have time to
veg out and read for pleasure or watch a movie or something, re-think
your priorities.
It’s possible for kids to have so many after school activities scheduled
like music and sport and dance and extra tutors that they have no
time to just play and be kids. Sometimes you need to limit their
choices or how many things you are ‘encouraging’ them to do. For
example you could let them do soccer and ballet this term, but not
tennis as well unless they want to give something up for it, and when
ballet starts taking 3 nights per week, that’s enough just on it’s own.
Of course if your child is an Olympic gymnast or something you’ll look
at it differently, but you know what I mean.
You’ll feel better and be more productive and positive about all the
other things going on in your life. It’s enriching and rewarding, and
allows your mind some creative and interesting places to wander,
instead of thinking about your boring stuff all the time, or work, or
your commitments. Hobbies and crafts may do it for you, or you may
need separate time for those, and time to just watch a movie as well.
When can you fit this in? Often it’s in the evening, after kids are in
bed and chores all done, and before we go to bed ourselves. Maybe
you need to make a rule for yourself that you don’t do any more work
or chores after a certain time at night, and you take a little time for
yourself to unwind.
Or you might have a pocket of time during the day you can use, or a
piece of the weekend, or a combination. I think at least half an hour
every day is a minimum standard, and longer when you’re able to.
Put it into your daily routine, and any extra bits of time into your diary
or calendar for the week ahead.
Planning time
As with everything, don’t obsess and spend too long on it in one go.
You don’t have to have a perfect plan, and you’ll be doing it every
week, so you have the opportunity to refine and improve the process
gradually over time.
• Rewrite your weekly routine tasks for the coming week (or if
you use an electronic calendar, use the repeat function).
That’s it. Put a time limit on it and keep it simple. Stop worrying
about the things you haven’t done, and just stick to the plan.
Whatever got missed, check that it’s still correct and worthwhile
(remember, don’t re-make good decisions) and schedule it again,
unless something else has now taken priority.
Think of the daily and weekly routines and schedules you have made
as a framework to help keep you on track. It is there to work for you,
not the other way around.
When you write it all down like this, you might be surprised how much
or how little time there is to spare. It helps you think about how your
life is balanced at the moment. It might make you realise why certain
times of the day just weren’t working for you before, and you might
even re-think the whole thing when you see it written down for the
first time. It’s can look pretty scary at first to have it all detailed like
this. That’s ok; get your head around it slowly.
1. You see all the things you want to get done written out so you
can see if it works realistically, and rearrange it til it does.
So, allocate time each week to work on your goals. Some of it may
be able to be included in your daily routine, things like practice and
training. Other parts of goals need to be broken up into projects, and
those projects divided up into parts. These will end up as a list of
things to do, with a time estimate for each part.
When you list all your goals, they will be long term and short term,
and they need to be prioritized. It may not be possible to work on
them all at the same time. The amount of time allocated to them
each week should be in line with how important they are to you, and
where they come in your priorities.
The purpose of goals is not to make you happy one day in the future.
You need to be happy right now. So why have them? Well, if you
have goals, the right goals, they will give you purpose, focus and
motivation in your present moment. Carrying out activities you know
will lead you to achieving your goals should give you a positive
feeling that you’re doing something worthwhile and valuable.
Consider your goals with this in mind. Will they bring you happiness
right now? If you have the attitude that to achieve a certain goal will
involve unpleasant experiences, you’re not going to enjoy the
journey. This is important, because if you’re enjoying the journey,
you’re going to be much more successful at achieving your goals,
and much more productive in your everyday life, and of course, much
happier.
So how can a goal bring you happiness right now while you’re
working on it? By the knowledge and satisfaction of knowing you’re
using your time valuably, doing something productive and useful,
something you believe in. And by the knowledge that you will enjoy
the end result as well.
Your main goals should be written down, as specific as you can make
them, and have a time you want to achieve them by. They need to
be realistic and you need to really believe you can achieve them.
You also need to really believe they are worthwhile, that you deserve
them, and that nothing but good can come from you achieving them.
They can change and grow as you start working towards them, but
that doesn’t mean it’s ok to let them be vague.
As an example, say one of your goals was to learn to play the piano.
It’s hard to be very specific if you’re a complete novice, but you can
The practice also needs to involve some pleasure, some fun, and
some little achievements along the way.
It’s easy to let goals be put off because of not following through with a
definite plan of achieving them. The grander, more complicated and
more involved the goal is the more planning is required. It’s not
always possible to plan every detail of something that may take years
to achieve, because you’re learning and adapting along the way, but
it’s still best to make every effort to detail as much as possible,
including time frames and resources needed.
The more you can focus your full attention on the goal and envisage
in as much detail as possible every little part of what you will need to
do, the better you will be able to accurately estimate how long it will
take and follow those details through. Not quite knowing how to go
So you need to spend quite a bit of time on planning your goals and
writing your to-do list or task list, and not all in one go. When you
have the goals and the to-do list written down, you need to outline the
timeframe for the items on the to-do list. This is a big task, and once
you have looked more closely at the time each of these things will
take, you may need to reassess the time frames for your goals. Can
you fit all these things into your schedule at the same time
realistically?
You might find a lot of these little things are actually tasks that would
be carried out as a normal part of your regularly scheduled ‘chores’
and that they will take care of themselves as long as you stick to your
routine of chores.
If they’re not, they are probably projects, things you wanted to get
done that are too big to be considered part of your routine, but too
small to have made it to your list of goals. I suggest you treat them
as shorter term goals. They deserve goal status because they need
to be broken up into parts and have time allocated for them.
Now think about that list of goals again and how important each of
them is to you. There are some that seem the hardest which are the
most important to you and scare you the most, and there are those
that you really want to do, and you don’t doubt you can do them, but
you keep putting them off because other ones take priority. But the
ones that take priority are too scary so you’re not getting very far on
any of them.
Considering this list of goals, you work out you have too much in your
routine to include learning a language at the moment, so you put that
one on hold for now until your commitments are different, but you
have to walk your dog anyway so you do the training at the same
time and the exercise helps you get fit, and you do your garage
gradually as per the cyclical detailing described in chapter 6.
You have 2 hours a day you can use for your other goals, after
attending university and completing your daily and weekly items, so
you decide to spend that time as 2 daily 1 hour sessions studying for
your teaching degree, except on Thursdays when you work on your
photo project.
So, what are your goals, and what regular time do you have available
to spend on working towards them?
Lists of little jobs you want or need to get done can build up and
build up, a bit like lists of things you need or want to buy. I do love a
list, but you need to be sensible about them and be in control of them,
not let them make you feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
Keep separate lists of things to do. One for each of your goals, and
one for miscellaneous or household items.
An item for your To Do list, is a task you can get done in one day,
generally part of a day, either a short time, or a morning or an
afternoon. If it takes longer than that, it’s really a project or a goal,
which needs breaking down into smaller parts.
When you have your list of things to do, you need to take control of it.
It’s very simple to do this. You give each item a priority number, a
due date if it has one, and a time estimate. If the time estimate is
more than a few hours, break it down further.
You keep a short list of your current top 10 items, top 5 items or top
20 items, depending on how quickly you’re turning them over.
Rewrite your top 10 once a week when you do your planning for the
week, and schedule as many tasks as you realistically think you can
complete for the week ahead. Write them in your diary or calendar,
and have an idea where the block of time is going to be.
Make sure you are allocating the majority of the available time to your
one most important goal, and a smaller but regular amount of time to
everything else.
Lists
For your list of things to buy, keep two.One for things you need, like
new shoes for the kids, and one for things you want, like an iPod.
Prioritize these lists the same way as your To Do list, and keep a top
10. If there is ever anything on your need list, you don’t touch the
other one. Each time you come to do your budgeting, you plan what
purchases you are able to make for the coming week.
Other good lists to keep are books you want to read, movies you
want to watch, places you want to visit, words you want to look up,
subjects you want to Google and so on. Keeping a separate list for
each subject you tend to jot down notes about all over the place,
means you will actually be able to easily refer to that information
when you need to. Each time you think of something or jot something
down, add it to the appropriate list.
If you have shared a meal with someone, whether it’s your partner,
your kids, your family, your flatmate/housemate/room mate; it’s
perfectly reasonable to expect that everyone helps clean up
afterwards. Unless they are incapacitated in some way, or under the
age of 2, everyone can help. My 2 year old boy likes to take his plate
to the kitchen when he’s finished, although he’s not ‘required’ to,
because he sees everyone else doing it.
I know kids often object and complain when you ask them for help,
but it’s all in your confidence and your attitude. There are good
reasons why it’s good to expect them to help. You’ve been busy all
day too, and it’s teaching them consideration for others and basic
social and domestic skills.
Once you’ve got your reasons thought through, and you feel
confident about it, you simply expect it of them, and explain that what
happens is everyone helps clear up until it’s done. That includes
dishes, putting things away, cleaning the table, cleaning under the
table, taking the rubbish/trash out, wiping benches, the lot. If they are
taking too long, get your bits done and leave them to it, explaining
calmly and clearly exactly what’s expected. If you find them watching
TV or something, and they’ve not finished, just calmly send them
back to it.
Apply this to anything you want help with. It’s not easy to get that
perfectly confident nicely but firmly way of asking, but keep working
on it. If it’s a fair thing, and you’ve asked nicely but confidently, it’s
not going to be easy to say no to you.
You can’t change other people but you’ve got the best chance of
influencing them if you set an example. Having a goal of changing
other people is not healthy for you anyway.
With your partner, imagine they weren’t there at all and you had to do
it all yourself anyway. Remember that the reason the things are
being done is because it’s in your best interests for them to be done,
and you would be doing them anyway.
If your partner sees that you are getting your act together, that you’re
happy to be doing it, you’re doing it for yourself, and you’re not
nagging them, you’re very likely to be pleasantly surprised with how it
affects them. But affecting them can’t be your reason for doing it or it
won’t work.
When you have guests, of course you will often prefer to encourage
them to carry on while you clear up. Do what you feel comfortable
When you’re the guest, it’s often a good idea to just use your own
judgement, and help without asking if you think it’s appropriate.
Some people are very uncomfortable accepting help if it’s offered, but
what can they do if you’re already on your way to the kitchen with a
stack of plates.
One thing which is always fair, however busy anyone is, is that each
member of a household who is old enough, should tidy up after
themselves and be responsible for their own things. With your
children, calmly insisting on this before they are allowed to have free
time, will get them into good habits, and give them a valuable life skill.
If it’s your partner leaving shoes, jackets, papers, dishes and rubbish
all over the place, it’s a tricky one. As I’ve said, nagging and
complaining don’t work, but it’s no fun constantly having to clean up
somebody else’s mess or putting up with the clutter.
There are a few different ways to approach it. One is to just leave it
where it is, unless you have to pick it up or you’d run out of dishes,
another is to ask, firmly but nicely, for them to put their things away,
another is to put their things away for them, and another is to pick up
all the items, but not put them away, leaving them gathered in a box
or basket. Possibly a combination of these things, but remember:
Changing from one activity to another can be tricky. It’s often hard to
let go of what you’re doing, stop, know that you can come back to it
and get on to the next thing. You need a strategy, a method to help
the transition.
If you don’t, what tends to happen is you spend too long on what you
were doing, becoming less productive, tired, bored, and disheartened
that you are now making less progress. As events around you force
you to switch activities, you haven’t fully packed up the previous one,
or switched off your attention and stopped thinking about it, meaning
you do badly at the next thing because you’re not really “there”. You
can’t give either thing your full attention.
This even applies to different activities within one role. If you’re doing
housework, you need to switch from cooking to laundry to cleaning
the floors to tidying up to de-cluttering to detailing one room and so
on.
Stop what you’re doing before the allocated time is up, say 15
minutes, and do the following:
- Plan what you will do when the next session comes around.
For any of this to work, you must first be aware of how long you
planned to spend doing what you were doing. What was the block of
time you had allocated, and when is it over?
When you’re looking after children, one thing that makes it harder to
get things done is that you have to switch your concentration so
frequently. You start doing some washing and stop because your
child needs you. Then you get them settled and go back to it, or not,
because you’ve forgotten what you were doing, and so your day goes
all day. There are often long stretches of time where you can’t be
alone at all or enjoy the peace of your own thoughts or some adult
conversation. Even going to the bathroom has to be rushed and
carefully timed.
Just getting through your basic housework when you are caring for
children requires a tenacity I feel is not really acknowledged in our
society. How do you make a bed with little ones unmaking it or
jumping on it at the same time? How do you cook if you don’t have a
way of keeping your little ones away from the stove? How do you
clean a floor that’s covered in toys faster than you can pick them up?
Yes, looking after pre-school children full time is a 12 hour day, at the
very least, if you’re lucky enough that they sleep well at night. You
can’t realistically get much more done than some light housework or
small tasks you can do a bit at a time with constant interruptions.
You just have to accept it, spread your tasks out, know your
limitations, let some things go, and know that looking after the kids
just has to come first. They’ll be big kids who can do many more
things for themselves in the blink of an eye, and those mystery stains
on the couch are really not so important in the bigger picture.
Above all, you need to nurture your own confidence, because this is
commonly a time when it’s shaken up. Stick to your routines to make
things easier for yourself, take the best possible care of yourself, and
have confidence in your own judgement and decisions, as long as
they are exercised and made when you are in a positive frame of
mind.
If you were so rich you never had to work again and could afford all
the household staff you wanted, wouldn’t you still want your children
to have a basic grasp of the requirements of running a house and
caring for themselves? Wouldn’t you still think it was better for them
not to have everything done for them?
Well that’s how I feel about it. Getting my children to wash dishes
and things like that is something I put off for ages because I hated
having to show them how, do what they missed, be called every few
minutes and so on. They would think this was ridiculous and insane,
and wouldn’t believe me, but I make them do the dishes more for
their benefit than mine.
With your children you need to find gentle and suitable ways of
teaching them; nagging and complaining isn’t the answer. The rule in
our house is simply that your homework has to be done and your
room tidy and so on before you have free time, and having the kids
follow the routine set for them is something I have to discipline myself
to do. Your kids can see that you are in charge, and that things will
happen the way you have decided is right, and that will give them
confidence in you and make them feel safe.
The advice I’ve tried to find about working from home when you’re
looking after children suggests things like having a separate home
office and making it off limits, asking your partner to communicate
with you via text message, and equally useless advice applicable only
to those whose children are merely under the same roof and being
cared for by someone else.
In the real world, many people who work from home are either single
parents, or stay at home parents with their partner out at work. We
don’t often get to have any uninterrupted time, which is why we’re
working from home in the first place.
Working from home is not the easy magic fix to all the problems of
inequality and childcare it’s made out to be, but still the best possible
solution for many people, and I do believe the benefits far outweigh
the disadvantages, if you approach it the right way and stay positive.
Here are some suggestions for days when you have work you need
to do at home but you’re taking care of children as well.
- It’s all in the planning. If you know exactly what tasks you want
to accomplish each day, you have a much better chance of
getting them done with all the other stuff going on. Don’t forget,
planning is an important task in itself. I’ll say that again.
Planning is one of your most important and valuable tasks. If
- Don’t try to do all your work after they’ve gone to bed, and have
no time for relaxing. You need at least some block of personal
time to relax, even if it’s just to have a shower without being
rushed and put your feet up for half an hour.
- Plan the types of work activities you will do for suitable times.
When you’re busy and can’t avoid interruptions, don’t involve
yourself in something which requires your full concentration.
Do easy things you can more readily let go of.
- Keep a list of tasks going all the time and keep it updated.
Prioritize them. Detail them as much as possible.
- If you have to make phone calls, schedule them for quiet times.
If you have to receive phone calls while you have toddlers
present, my heart goes out to you. I’d look for ways of avoiding
- If you’ve got older kids who don’t have to have your constant
supervision, but still interrupt you a lot, schedule some time
when you’re not to be disturbed, and be fully available to them
the rest of the time, and make sure everybody is clear about
what’s been decided.
- If you have space for more than one desk or table in your work
area, consider having a second computer there for your kids to
use. (Give them yours when you upgrade). They can ask you
the occasional question and you can guide them whilst doing
other things.
- If some of your work can be done away from the computer, try
it. Sometimes I can read in the kitchen while I’m waiting for
water to boil. Some tasks can be done from printed pages
while I’m waiting outside ballet class, or sitting outside while the
kids play.
- Don’t forget to get up and away from the computer after a while,
even if you don’t have to because of the kids. You need a
stretch, a break, a change in the distance your eyes are
focussing on.
- Have special toys set aside to play with only during your work
time (i.e. the allocated part of the day for trying to focus, not all
day) and put it away at other times.
- Let them play with your junk mail, and have some stationary
items it’s ok for them to play with, within reason.
- Let the kids know when you will be finished working, and
honour your promise.
- Have several times throughout the day when you stop and fully
play with the kids, getting right down on the floor with them and
getting involved. The break will do you good as well as them,
and they’ll often play quietly for longer if you get them started
on something.
I’ve talked a lot about routines in this book, and if you have children,
that’s just one more reason why they’re good for you. Your children
know what to expect, when and how you have your meals, specific
times when they know they can expect you to spend fun time with
them, when they have their bath, when their bedtime is and so on.
Routines when you have children make things so much easier for you
too, because there’s so much going on, so much distraction, that the
less thinking you have to do, and the more your daily tasks are on
auto pilot, the more smoothly and calmly these things get done.
It’s fun when your child is so used to your family routine, that he tells
you it’s time to get ready for bed, or time for his sisters to come home
from school, and is delighted when he’s been able to take the
initiative on something and been praised for getting it right.
I’ve been through all this with my school aged children, and still do,
but with my three little ones, having them all so close together in age
is like having this concept about routines and how they imitate my
behaviour really made obvious to me in a magnified way. I’m
astonished sometimes at how every little thing I handle well during
each day pays off before my very eyes.
Summary
They can be very hard to stick to, but you are achieving it by
concentrating on one thing at a time until it has become an
established habit, then concentrating on the next thing.
4. You added some extra details to your routines, but the basic
ones you started with always take priority. You’ve included
What you now have is your own personal structure that works for you
and allows you to be organized. It can always be changed and
improved, but you will always have it. You won’t change decisions
you’ve made that were good decisions and don’t need changing.
You will have less and less clutter in your life, and you will let go of
the mental clutter like perfectionism and resentment that held you
back before. You’ll keep in mind the reasons for the decisions you’ve
made, prioritize, and balance your time. You’ll keep it simple. As
soon as you have made just one thing become a habit, you will be
hooked on the idea and thrilled with how well it works. You’re
cruising.
• Learn to recognize your feelings, feel them, and let them go.
Learn strategies to lift your feelings to more positive levels
when you need to. Make decisions only when you are feeling
positive.
• Only hang on to stuff that is earning it’s keep in your life. Does
the object bring you pleasure, or guilt and worry?
• Looking your best makes you feel better, and you’re worth it.
• A stitch in time saves nine. (Only joking, not that it isn’t true
though).
If you have a long way to go, remember the goal is to change your
habits, and that’s something where you can see a result right now,
and more results every day.
It’s you that’s becoming organized. Your surroundings get that way
as a side effect. It’s a way of life, and the purpose of is to bring you
more peace, not more stress.
I wish you the very best. Stay happy, because it’s better for you and
makes the world a better place.
Writing lists, organizing, and finding the best way to do things, are
things Yvette’s always been obsessed with. At the same time, she’s
easily distracted and frustrated, has a short attention span and a
tendency to perfectionism, and not in a good way.
Knowing many others share her struggles, feeling she’s learned a lot
in her life so far, and because she enjoys writing, Yvette decided to
write about the subject she’s most absorbed with and share her
thoughts on the matter of organization.
www.getmyselforganized.com