Lori Staples

EDL 285
Cross- Cultural Interview Paper

At the beginning of this process I was struggling to decide on who to interview. I knew

multiple people in my life that would be willing to talk to me about their experiences. As I

bounced around ideas of who to meet with I finally decided on three people I know and have a

relationship with from different time periods in my life as well as different areas. I wanted the

people I interviewed to be open and honest with their experiences so that I could gain a better

understanding.

The first person I interviewed was Kiendra, a teacher who is a black female. I first met

Kiendra five years ago when I began working at King Elementary in Des Moines. At that time,

she was the library associate. During our time working together Kiendra pursued her Bachelors

Degree in Elementary Education. Kiendra and I have a unique relationship. We are able to go to

each other when we have a question about each others culture. During our time working

together we shared a lot of information about being women in two different cultures.

The second person I interviewed was Josh, a teacher in his late twenties who is

homosexual. I met Josh three years ago when we were in the same cohort working on our

Masters Degree. Josh and I instantly clicked and became friends. I knew Josh for almost a year

before he told me he was a homosexual. Prior to him coming out, I speculated that he might be a

homosexual. When he did come out to me I asked why it took so long and he admitted he wasn’t

sure what people in our cohort might think of him.

The third person I interviewed was Drake, a recent college graduate who grew up with

the diagnoses of autism. I met Drake when he was in first grade. I was his special education

teacher during third and fourth grade. Over the years I have stayed in contact with his
family. I’ve watched Drake overcome his diagnoses to do things most would not think possible

of someone with autism.

All three of these people are individuals who I have known for quite awhile and have a

relationship at some level. All three of these interviews opened my eyes to a culture that I am

not familiar with.

Kiendra, African- American Woman

Kiendra describes herself as a funny, confident woman. She believes her mouth can get

her in trouble, but she always speaks the truth. She describes her identity as more than her skin

color. “It is how my body figure resembles that of my grandmother and the curls of my natural

hair from my father. In short I would say that my identity is my character intangles with my

culture that is molded by me and the ones who have impacted my life” (Kiendra Phanfil,

personal communication, April 25, 2019).

Middle school was the first time Kiendra realized the difference between white and

black. Her mother and father adopted a white boy when he was young. Kiendra never noticed

he was white until he came to pick her up one day. The school staff would not let her leave with

him even though both she and he were telling them they were siblings. The school finally called

her mom to check on the situation. Until this point she had not realized she had one white

brother. She never thought of their skin color up until this point.

Kiendra recalls her kindergarten through twelfth grade school experience as hard. She

fell below in math and reading in elementary school and had receive extra help during the school

year as well as attend summer school. She began to notice the difference in middle school when

teachers would give her different assignments and readings than the rest of the class. School
became more difficult when she began high school. Her family switch from public school to s

private Catholic school.

High school was the first time Kiendra experienced being treated differently by her

peers. In elementary and middle school there were many other black students. In high school,

Kiendra was one of seven black students and the only black female in her school. High school is

when she began to deal with racism without her parents there to help her. “I was spit on and

asked silly rude questions, I was rarely chosen as a partner or to be on a team. Parents and

students told teachers they didn’t want their child sitting by a nigger” (Kiendra, 2019).

Kiendra did make some friends in high school and she began to notice the cultural

differences between white and black people. Her white friends were all wealthy and her family

was not. She noticed the way they spoke to their parents and talked back. In her house, she was

to answer with “yes, mam or yes, sir”. She also found food to be quite different. She had never

eaten green bean casserole or bagels and cream cheese before. Her friends had never eaten beans

and ham hock until they ate dinner with her family.

As a mother of four black children, Kiendra feels she is harder on her children than her

white friends, “I raise them knowing the world is already against you and you have to fight for

every opportunity” (Kiendra, 2019). Tim Wise stated in his documentary “White Like Me”

“White people don’t need to worry about their actions being ascribed to their race, whereas

people of of color constantly have to worry about their performance triggering negative group

stereotypes.” When asked what she would like the world to know about black women she

responded that not all black women are alike. “Many times African American women are

clumped into one category when it come to culture and identity, very rarely are we looked at as
an individual” (Kiendra, 2019). “No matter how idiosyncratic one’s individual identity, one

cannot overcome the stereotype of group identity” (Wu, Frank p. 422).

Josh, Homosexual Male

Josh describes himself as a white cisgender homosexual male. A fourth grade teacher

and a part time educator at Lululemon. His core values are inclusive, authentic, fun, family, and

connection. Josh grew up in a small town, around seven thousand people, in Iowa. His family

consists of his mom, dad, an older sister and an older brother.

Josh attended school in his small town from kindergarten to twelfth grade and then

attended the University of Iowa for college. He describes his elementary years as wonderful.

Things began to get rocky for Josh in middle school, “Certain times throughout middle school I

remember being bullied for my size and some feminine traits. This caused me to closet myself

even more” (Josh Buyck, personal communication, May 1, 2019). As we discussed middle

school, it was apparent that was a rough time in his life. He shared how he was smaller than the

other students so he was made fun of a lot. He also knew then that he wasn’t attracted to girls,

but at the age he had no idea how to process this and no one to talk to about it because these

feelings went against his religion and societal norms.

College was an obstacle Josh had to overcome. At this point in his life he knew he was

attracted to men, however, he was not ready to admit this to the world. He loved college in the

traditional sense; being social, drinking, classes, and made many friends, some of whom he was

attracted to. This began to make it difficult for Josh. At this point, he was feeling very closeted

and distant from people. He knew at some point he needed to come out to the world and share

who he was. “Most lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals waited until they were adults to talk about
their LGB identity with others. Fear of rejection and serious negative reactions kept many LGB

adults from openly sharing their lives” (Ryan, Caitlyn)

Finally after college, Josh shared with his family and close friends that he identified as a

cisgender homosexual. “I came out after college and the reception from both my family and

friends was fantastic. My family had tears but have been so accepting” (Josh, 2019).

Looking back Josh wishes he would have been able to live his true identity throughout

his life and not waited so long to share who he is. However, he also understands that he himself

needed to mature as well as his friends to truly accept him. He believes society has changed to

be more accepting of people who are different. Josh loves who he is and wouldn’t trade it for

anything. “It was a tough road but it made me into who I am today. My family is stronger than

ever, my friends love me, and I have met amazing people. It is an amazing feeling to advocate

for my community and educate others” (Josh, 2019).

Drake, Autistic Male

Drake describes himself as a laid back guy who enjoys being around friends and

family. He is quiet and shy around people he doesn’t know but extremely talkative around

people he’s known his entire life. He describes his identity of “that of my dad and his dad, soft-

spoken, hard- worker, with high morals and character” (Drake Caple, personal communication,

April 20, 2019).

Drakes feels his kindergarten through twelfth grade school experience was as normal as

anybody else’s. He received special education services for social skills until sixth grade. He had

a one on one associate with him until the beginning of fourth grade. Drake does not feel teachers

or students treated him differently because he is autistic. Drake began to realize he was different

from his peers in third grade. “I first started to realize and grasp that I was a little different
around third grade. Having an associate along with going to speech lessons helped me to

understand I was lacking in some areas” (Drake, 2019). This is also the same time when his

peers began to realize he was different. “By the time my classmates knew, that I was autistic,

they already had a good idea of who I was as a person so they weren’t judgemental. That’s the

cool thing about young kids, they don’t really know what’s going on until later on” (Drake,

2019).

The biggest obstacle for Drake was beginning college at Iowa State University. He had

grown up in a small town so Iowa State was a change for him. He had to figure out living on his

own, making friends, and studying for exams. He was able to overcome this obstacle and

graduated from Iowa State in December 2018, and now works for the state auditor.

When asked what he would like to tell people about individuals with autism he

responded, “Autistic people are as capable as normal people, it just comes out in different

ways. Just because we can’t communicate in a ‘normal’ way doesn’t make us any less of an

equal” (Drake, 2019). Drake also stressed the importance of early intervention. His parents

were told he was autistic when he was eighteen months old. They started him in a special

education preschool at the age of two. He believes his parents acted quick and he wouldn’t be

where he is today if they would have waited. According to the Autism Spectrum Disorder

Foundation, “research has shown that early intervention can improve a child’s overall

development. Children who receive autism- appropriate education at key developmental stages

are more likely to gain essential social skills and react better in society.”

Summarize Central Issues

One trend I found through all three interviews is none of the individuals saw themselves

as different until other people began treating them in a different way. All three individuals saw
themselves just as they saw their peers at a young age. It wasn’t until upper elementary or

middle school that they came to the realization that they were different from their peers in some

way. It was the norms of society telling them they were not fitting the mold. To each of them

they were who they were. They did not see a difference in them from someone else.

Each of these individuals have learned to live with their difference from society. Each of

them was born with a unique twist from what the dominant groups considers “normal”. None of

them chose to be the way they are; Kiendra did not choose to be black, Josh did not choose to be

a homosexual, and Drake did not choose to be autistic. This is how they were created and each

of them has learned to maneuver the world as they are. For all of them there were obstacles to

overcome but with support they have been able to create lives for themselves and be happy with

who they are.

Interviews influenced my thinking about social justice

The thought that stuck out to me was Drake and Josh had the ability to hide their

differences. Drake didn’t share with his class that he was autistic until he was ready. Josh

waited until after college to come out to his friends and family that he was a

homosexual. Kiendra, however, never had the opportunity to hide her difference. Her skin color

is out for the world to see at all times. Even as adults Josh and Drake can choose who they tell

their differences to. That is never an option for Kiendra. No matter where she goes people know

she’s black.

As I was conducting the interviews, I paid close attention to not only the person’s words,

but their non verbal communication. It was apparent that all of them have supportive families

and friends and they are comfortable with who they are; however, the level of comfort varies

between all of them. Josh was completely comfortable discussing his childhood and how he was
treated and how his life is at the moment. Kiendra was comfortable discussing her experiences,

but when the conversation turned to being a mother and helping her children navigate through

life she became teary eyed and her voice was much softer. Drake was confident as he discussed

his childhood, but when we began to talk about life after college you could see his anxiety begin

to build. As an adult who received services as a child to help him navigate through life , he still

shows characteristics of an autistic person; robotic voice and no eye contact, when he becomes

anxious. This is something that continues to frustrate him.

When thinking of social justice for children, I thought back on what Kiendra said about

her children. She is a mother and I am a mother, however, the way we prepare our children for

the world is quite different. Kiendra knows that because her children are black the world is

against them. People are watching each of their moves. They are stereotyped into a group, not

looked at as individuals. My children are white. They are seen differently. People see them as

they are, their individual characteristics. As mother she has fear when she sends her children

into the world each day because of their skin color. That is something I will never have to think

about with my two children.

Another impact on social justice is the education people who are different from the

“norm” receive. In a study, The New Teacher Project (TNTP) found that students of color, those

from low- income families, English Language Learners , and students with mild to moderate

disabilities have less access to grade level resources than their peers. During the interviews both

Kiendra and Drake mentioned the work their teachers put into their education. Kiendra

discussed how she fell behind her peers in academics. Teachers spent extra time with her to try

and close the gap between where she was performing and grade level expectations. By the time

she graduated from high school, she was completing the same work as her peers. Kiendra
believes that without the support of her teachers this would not have been a possibility for her.

Although she was black in a predominately white private school her teachers offered her the

resources she needed to succeed.

Drake was always able to perform academically at the same level as his peers. His

diagnoses of autism created a gap between himself and his peers socially. Drake was fortunate

to have teachers who began by giving him grade level work to see where he could perform

before scaffolding his work. This evidence showed the teachers he could perform at the same

level as his peers and did not need an IEP in the area of academics. This does not always happen

for students with a diagnoses. Many times educators assume that because a student has been

diagnosed with a particular disability they are unable to make the same progress as their peers.

What Can I do

After listening to these three individuals, all of whom I have known a long time, but

never had conversations like this with, I realized these conversations need to happen more

often. If changes are going to be made in our society we must not wait for someone else to do

the work. I think of the students I serve each day. The majority of the students in my

building are African, African- American, or Latino. Each day these students face challenges

because of the color of their skin and culture in which they come. Many of these students face

the challenge of living in poverty as well. When they are seen in the world they are immediately

stereotyped based on people’s bias from previous experiences with those who look like them or

come from the same culture. They do not have the opportunity to be an individual.

As an advocate for these students I need to start conversations with people who may not

be immersed into cultures other than their own on a regular basis. I need to share the stories of

my students with other people who may not have the opportunity to experience people different
from themselves. I need to invite people into the building so they can see the word that is

happening and get to know these students on a personal level. All students, regardless of race,

gender, ability, or socioeconomic level have dreams of how they want their lives to be. As an

educator we must help students foster these dreams and give them opportunities to work towards

them.

“Allied behavior means taking personal responsibility for the changes we know are

needed in our society, and so often ignore or leave others to deal with. Allied behavior is

intentional, overt, consistent activity that challenges prevailing patterns of oppression, makes

privileges that are so often invisible visible,and facilitates the empowerment of persons targeted

by oppression” (Ayvazian, p. 672).

If we continue to allow people, mainly those in the dominant group, to ignore what is

happening in society with those who are marginalized we are saying that behavior is

acceptable. Quint Studer once said, “what we permit, we promote”.

Reference List

Autism Spectrum Disorder Foundation.(2012). Early Intervention Makes a Huge

Difference for Autistic Children. Retrieved May 5, 2019, from http://myasdf.org/media-
center/articles/early-intervention-makes-a-huge-difference-for-autistic-children/

Ayvazian, Andrea. (2014). Interrupting the Cycle of Oppression: The Role of Allies as Agents
Of Change. In P. Rothenberg & K. Mayhew (Eds.), Race, Class, and Gender in
The United States (672- 678). New York: NY: Worth Publishers.

Ryan, C. (2009). Helping Families Support Their Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Children. Retrieved May 5, 2019, from
https://nccc.georgetown.edu/documents/LGBT_Brief.pdf

Scott, M, Jhally, S & Earp, J. (2013). White Like Me. United States: Kickstarter.

The New Teacher Projects. (2018). The Opportunity Myth. Retrieved April 30, 2019, from
 opportunitymyth.tntp.org

Wu, Frank. (2014). Yellow. In P. Rothenberg & K. Mayhew (Eds.), Race, Class, and Gender in
The United States (422-425). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.