Mentor-Mentee Relationship

The relationship between mentor and mentee is a very closely knitted bonding with an invisible thread. To look upon,
this may look like a teacher-student, guru-shishya, or leader-follower. But I think, this bonding goes even further. This
is all about learning and unlearning phenomenon which is going to go forever till mentor or mentee decides to stop
learning. Out of many definitions, this relation can be defined as “A mentor can help a person (mentee) improve his
or her abilities and skills through observation, assessment, modeling, and by providing guidance.”

Right now, I am a mentor as well as mentee. I am privileged and honoured to be mentored by one of the fine Christian
leaders. And I continue to remain as mentee because I strongly believe that everyone needs guidance and support
from more experienced. At the same time, by His grace alone and provisions, I am able to mentor and continue to
mentor some fine young people of our society. When I was 17 years old, I realized that I am all alone and I need help
in many facets of life, especially, studies, career counselling, knowing the perfect will of God for my future life, such as
marriage, ways of life, decisions, etc. In perfect time, I met my mentor and I shared all my fears and uncertainties. He
is a gracious person who helped me in the right time with right words of wisdom. My mentor continue to guide me till
now in many difficult situations of my life. I am always thankful to God who led to my mentor. This seems easy process,
but let me tell you, it is not the way they it look. It took years of growing into the association of mentor-mentee
relationship. Many times, I personally struggled with faith or trust to share everything deep seated or dark side of
mine. But my mentor is matured enough hold these secrets and helped me slowly with patience and grace to grow as
mentor. I can say that my mentor taught me well to become Mentor. He still remains my mentor and I as mentee.
When I look back and imagine that if I had no mentor then what would I have become or where I would have gone? I
would have lost forever. But I thank my mentor who at the right time got hold of me and helped me to come near to
our Lord Jesus Christ. He directed me to Lord Jesus Christ. I will be always grateful to my mentor.

This association of mentor-mentee is not given or invented by mankind, but by God alone. Our heavenly Father started
to mentor His first creations Adam and Eve. But they decided to break this association and went away from this
relationship. As a result, mankind plunged into the eternal darkness and never to return. This was not the plan which
our God in heaven intended. He always wanted to remain as Mentor, as He only deserves or He is only qualified to
remain so. To be true, a man living in darkness cannot lead anyone from darkness to light. Because he remains in
darkness. Hence, no man is qualified to call himself as “Mentor.” This seems scary or even hopelessness. I thank God
or we human can be grateful to our loving and gracious Father, who planned to send His only Son to our dark world to
transfer us from the darkness to light. For this, He became human, lived in limited time and space and took all our
darkness, character defects, or SIN upon himself, the Bible says that “He (Jesus) knew no sin became sin.” By death on
the cross and through resurrection on the third day, He (Lord Jesus) declared us righteous through Faith in His death
and resurrection. When you believe that He has died for my sin and He is truly the Son of God, the Spirit of God will
convict of your sin, help you to repent, and regenerate new heart which will have faith to believe. This way one can
have new life and new Spirit, through which one can live a life in light. Our Lord Jesus called us to be the sons of light
or light of this world. He has qualified us through His death and resurrection to be Mentors of this World. This whole
process of regeneration and transformation by our Triune God (Trinity-God the Father, God the Son, and God the
Spirit) is a perfect example of mentorship, where Triune God is a Mentor and we as Mentee.

Once you are a believer, you are supposed to live as mentee under the guidance and support of our Lord Jesus Christ.
He is our perfect mentor, who became a perfect example for all of us. Lord Jesus said, “Learn from me, I am humble
and gentle” (Matthew 11:29). As Mary chose the best position to remain at the feet of Lord Jesus Christ to learn, let
us also abide in Him (Lord Jesus) and walk along with Him to be mentored in days to come. After Lord Jesus, His
disciples continue to practice the same association with their fellow partners. Paul spelled out mentoring very simply.
“Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). “Whatever you have learned or received
or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice” (Philippians 4:9a). In essence, he is saying, “Let me mentor you.
Let me be your role model.” He reminds the new Christians at Thessalonica to “follow our example” (2 Thessalonians
3:7). Example. Teach. Model. These are all facets of mentoring which are indispensable in developing fully devoted
followers of Jesus and in transmitting the faith from one generation to the next. It goes without saying that if mentors
expect others to follow their example, they must be wholeheartedly committed to following Christ. Peter commands,
“Be examples to the flock” (1 Peter 5:3), and Paul explains to the elders at Ephesus, “You know how I lived the whole
time I was with you” (Acts 20:17). In other words, Paul is telling the elders, “I showed you, now you show them.”

Someone said this, “with power comes responsibility.” In this fallen world, as we all struggle with our sinful nature,
this association between mentor and mentee is also tend to be tarnished. Many times, it was seen that mentors are
trying to control their mentees or even practicing lordship over them. Not only this, mentors failed to lead an example
for their mentees, which resulted in poor discipleship and hence we have perfectly bad mentees, which later on
became troublesome mentors for next mentees. The rebellion of mentors or mentees or poor leadership has
questioned the very concept of this association. The word Hypocrisy has become the most common term in this
relationship, any hint of hypocrisy—“do what I say, not what I do”—will be detrimental to both the mentor and his
mentee. We can continue to debate or discuss about this failed leadership. But this will lead to nowhere.

This association of mentor-mentee needs to be the most humble and gentle relationship, where humility, forgiveness,
repentance, bearing each other, self-control, conversation seasoned with salt, grace, hope, faith, and love are being
practised. I am grateful our Lord, who allowed or appointed few leaders or mentors who helped to grow in the
knowledge and image of our Lord with their life as an example for me. This has helped me to grow as mentor to many.
As a mentor or mentee, I will suggest you to learn this art or skill from our Lord Jesus Christ. Go and read Bible and
explore how our Lord spoke, dealt, listened, cared, treated people, and even sacrificed His life. Being as mentor, you
need bring two concepts in your life: (1) Sacrificial Life and (2) Bearing one another. You will be expected to sacrifice
your time, money, space, comfort, materials, or even some of your relationship. Bearing one another, even when you
knows that this particular person is struggling with some grave sinful behaviour. This is tough and sometimes
frustrating. I will say, keep courage and have patience. Our Lord is gracious enough, He will never leave nor forsake
us. His grace is sufficient for us.

As Mentor or Mentee have the attitude of Lord Jesus Christ, the attitude of Servanthood. Let us humble ourselves as
servants of Lord and treat each other with the heart of our Lord Jesus Christ. In course of time, one need to be mentor
at the same time as mentee. Let us learn to keep this balance and continue to a good example as mentor and mentee.
I personally thank God who allowed me grow as mentor under the mentorship of few leaders and enabled to mentor
many mentees. As a mentor, let us lead or direct our mentees toward our perfect Mentor Lord Jesus Christ. Grace of
our Father, love of Son and association of Holy Spirit continue to remain our mentor and we continue to mentor our
mentees in the image of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.