Dear Abby, [recently exchanged pleasantries via email and text messaging with a lady I met.on a website. One day later, I received a message from her stating she'd prefer our method of communication be kept to email and texting because she wasn’t much of a phone talker. Over the past few months, 1 have been out a number of times with other women who also expressed their preference to keep communication limited to email and texting. Is this becoming common? I may be old-fashioned because I feel interpersonal relationships - especially initially - should include the element of voice inflection. I think it’s more effective than a guessing game that only a full page of text can provide. Am [ wrong? ~ Wants To Talk, in Reno Dear Wants to Talk, I dant think you are wrong, and I happen to agree with you. I, too, usually learn more from a spoken conversation than from an email or text because I can distinguish whether the person is joking or being serious. But you and I are becoming the minority, Today, many younger people feel more comfortable communicating online - at teast initially. Dear Abby, I have been married to ‘Mick’ for 22 years — most of them happy. My problem is his communication skills. I have always-had a hard time contacting him. He has a cell phone, but he won't take it ut of his vehicle. Recenily, our daughter came home from college. We had planned to go to dinner with her and her boyfriend. When Mick didn’t show up, I tried without success to contact him, My daughter tried and then my son did, too. ‘This went on for an hour and a half. We were worried sick, so we started calling his friends and co-workers — anyone who might know his whereabouts, Abby, I have a serious heart condition that could send me to the hospital at any time, Mick finally called back and said he had gotten distracted talking with an old friend, He acted like we were crazy for being concerned, and insists he did nothing wrong. All [have ever asked is that my husband and kids give mea quick call to let me know if they're going to be late so | won't worry. My son and daughter do it, but Mick refuses. He says he's the breadwinner, and he should not have to answer to anyone. I have put up with this for years, but now I have had enough. What do you think? ~ Sick and Tired of It, in South Carolina Dear Sick and Tired of It, Candidly, I think Mick is acting more like a rebellious wenager rather than a caring husband. Because he has been this way for 22 years, I seriously doubt he is capable of change. That's why I also:think you should talk to your attorney about adding another family member to your Advance Directive for Health Care, in case you have a medical emergency and your husband is — as usual — unreachable, Please give this the serious consideration it deserves because your life could depend on it.Dear Abby, I am the father of a middle-aged, unmarried, well-educated daughter I'll call *Yvewte’. My problem is, whether we're together or talking on the phone, Yvette seems to find it difficult to converse with me. I's most noticeable when I'm sharing something with her, not the other way around. She'll comment on what I have to say but rarely show any real interest in knowing more. It has been this way for years, and it has affected my wanting to spend time with her. (Neither of us comes from a background where love or affection was openly displayed.) When I called it to Y¥vette's attention, she told me she doesn't like to pry, and she figures I'll tll her whatever I want her to know. She doesn’t seem to understand that, without some display of interest on her part, its difficult for me to know if she’s interested in what I'm saying. T know she routinely “tunes out" her mother — my ex-wife — who dominates conversations. Yvette said — with a chuckle — that "maybe subconsciously” she does the same with me, I fail to see the humor. Yvette is my only child, and I'd like to feel closer to her. Any suggestions? Unheard, in Phoenix Dear Unheard, Many « truth is said in jest. When Yvette stated that she also tunes you out, she made an important admission. The time has come for a frank discussion. Ask your daughter why. Could she be punishing ‘you for your inability ta show love or affection while she was growing up? Ask her directly if the reason she shows so little interest in what you have to say is that she's really not interested, Tell Yvette that her behavior is rude, uncaring and distancing. Be sure to tell her that you love her and would like to have a closer relationship, but that achieving one takes effort on the part of both of you. Dear Abby, I"ve been seeing someone for six or seven months, but we have been together for only three. He's quite the package, except he can’t handle confrontation and doesn't communicate well. His way of handling ‘uncomfortable conversations is to avoid them, Is there a way for both-of us to be happy when dealing with difficult conversations? Is there anything I can do to make him more comfortable with them’? I should add that he hasn't been in a relationship in forever, I'm happy with him, but communication is important to me Verbal, in the West ile I, on the other hand, tend to be very communicative, Dear Verbal, Has it occurred 10 you that this man may nor have been in a retationship “in forever" BECAUSE he can't deal with uncomfortable conversations? For many women, that would be a deal-breaker. While not all men are comfortable with long, hearsfeit conversations, the only way fo arrive at a compromise is to talk with each other. Give him more time because your relationship és still new. But if ke isn't capable of opening up, recognize it as an important red flag if you are contemplating a long relationship with him.Dear Abby, I'm looking for some advice about having one-on-one conversations. I'm usually confident and easy to tall to when interacting with a group of people, but I get extremely awkwand as soon as I have to talk to one person alone. This means that while I do have lots of friends, Iam only really elose with one or two of them, Which leaves me with hardly anyone to go to for advice or to share my secrets with. My main concem is that | find it difficult to get elose to boys I like, and that getting a boyfriend, which is something I am finally ready to pursue, is virtually impossible. There are loads of guys at my school 1 would love to date and to get closer to, but my awkwardness prevents me from doing so. Some advice on how to hold a one-on-one conversation, how to avoid awkward silences, and how to be interesting during a conversation would be incredibly appreciated. Thank you. Foggy, 15 yo. Dear Foggy, ‘The key 10 being interesting is to be passionate about somsething—and learn what the other person is passionate abou, io0. When you meet someone you want fo have a real conversation with, encourage them to talk about their interests, Every once in a while, say something like, "Wow, that's really cool, It reminds me of X.” But let them dictate the direction of the conversation. 1 could talk w you for hours about what Fm studying in college just LOVE talking about i. You get the point— people are gaturally focused om themselves, 40 let them ead the conversation. In terms of being awkward and awkward silences, my not 10 worry about them. Gdis are the other person is aise awkward sometintes. I am sitll awkward abaul those times too! The point ts io do what I said abave, that way you mainly have to listen and be talkative now and then. And in terms of silences, a lar of the time people wan't even notice them if those moments are short enough. Finally let me give you some advice on teenage boys. You reaching out to them is undoubtedly the coolest thing. When I was 15 years old, f wish I knew there were girls interested in me, but I was way too afraid to ask, By taking ihe first step, you show them twa things—one, thai you're confident fake tt you have to!}—and tw, it relieves their own awkwardness making conversation easier.