HEALING

THE
WOUNDED CHILD WITHIN

A wounded child within presents in her symptoms all the information necessary to complete her
healing. These symtoms, which permeate and tyranize the adult's experience, are unsuccessful,
primitive attempts by the child within to heal herself. When these symptoms are recreated in the
child's body in the past, a new opportunity for suc cessful healing is provided.

0 1989 by David J. Grove

1 of 72
 TABLE OF CO NTENTS

Introduction................................................................................................................................................. 5

Section One: PRINCIPLES

.
Introduction............................................................................................................................................ 9

T-Minus-One (T-1) ............................................................................................................................... 10

Information Storage Forms.................................................................................................................13
Changing Words Into Metaphors........................................................................................................18
Maturing Information............................................................................................................................ 23
Clean Language.................................................................................................................................... 28
Language Delivery Mechanisms.........................................................................................................34

Section Two: THERAPEUTIC OPERATIONS

Introduction.......................................................................................................................................... 37
Separation ........................................................................................................................................... 39
Individuation......................................................................................................................................... 40
Maturation............................................................................................................................................ 41
Solutions............................................................................................................................................... 42
Recombination..................................................................................................................................... 50
Proclamation......................................................................................................................................... 51
Splitting................................................................................................................................................ 52
Completing The Intervention.............................................................................................................. 53

Section Three: CASE STUDIES

"Fuzzy".................................................................................................................................................. 55

Mathematical Rape............................................................................................................................... 57

Bibliography.................................................................................................................................................. 60

2 of 72
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction.............................................................................................................5

Section One: PRINCIPLES

Introduction........................................................................................................ 9

T-Minus-One (T-1) ............................................................................................ 10

Information Storage Forms...................................................................................13

Changing Words Into Metaphors............................................................................18
Maturing Information...........................................................................................23
Clean Language...................................................................................................28
Language Delivery Mechanisms.............................................................................34

Section Two: THERAPEUTIC OPERATIONS

Introduction....................................................................................................... 37
Separation ........................................................................................................ 39
Individuation......................................................................................................40
Maturation......................................................................................................... 41
Solutions............................................................................................................42
Recombination................................................................................................... 50
Proclamation.......................................................................................................51
Splitting............................................................................................................ 52
Completing The Intervention................................................................................ 53

Section Three: CASE STUDIES

"Fuzzy"..............................................................................................................55

Mathematical Rape..............................................................................................57

Bibliography..............................................................................................................60

3 of 72
 A CHILD'S BILL OF RIGHTS

A child within has the right:

1. To use their language without

having to explain themselves.
2. Not to tarkabout the content of their
experience.

3. To say, don't know.'

4. To only answer questions they want to.

5. Not to have to taikabout their feelings.
6. To be resistant. This may be the
only way they can let you know to
stop what you are doing.
7. To expect you to be their
therapist and not the adult's.

8. To be healed at the time of their trauma.

9. Not to be forced into making eye contact.

10. To teach the therapist how best they
can heal.
11. To take the time they need to heal
themselves.

4 of 72
12. To find a passage through their
experience that does not
retraumatize them.

5 of 72
INTRODUCTION

6 of 72
 When you have been wounded as a child,
you need to be healed as a child.

The purpose of this seminar is to provide an effective therapeutic approach to

client information which has its roots in childhood trauma.

A "child within" is a fragment of a child's persona in which traumatic learn -

ing is stored and which remains "frozen" at a moment in time just before a
traumatic experience. In an unsuccesssful attempt to heal past hurts, this
wounded child creates symptoms in the body and mind of the adult. Clues
to these child within symptoms are found in the rich metaphoric language
used by the adult when experiencing physical or psychological pain: "A
lump in my throat" or "a heaviness on my chest" may be the first clue to
the presence of a wounded child within and the healing the child needs.

What is a wounded child within?

* A wounded child within is a fragment of a child's persona in which traumatic
learning is stored and which remains "frozen" at a moment in time (T-1) just
before a traumatic experience (T).

* This fragment is an undifferentiated information mass where the child

within ("figure") and the external environment in the memory ("ground") are
fused with the child's internal feelings (metaphor). These fused infor mation
sources form a homeostatic milieu in which the child remains "frozen" or
trapped.

Although other parts of the child's experience continue to evolve, the

trapped fragment never moves beyond T-1 through T to T+1 (the moment
immediately following the traumatic event). Symptoms develop because
the movement necessary to complete this progress cannot occur.
T-1 T T-1-1

7 of 72

5
What is the purpose of a wounded child within?
· The purpose of a wounded child within is to prevent a trauma (T) from
happening. The child achieves this by regressing to a point in time (T-
1) just before the worst moment (T), and maintaining the homeosta sis
at that point so that time does not progress and T does not occur.

* As a result of this phenomenon, a child within does not know what hap-
pened at T or if she survived T-1. Therefore, to reach a wounded child
within the therapist cannot use any context.

8 of 72
Where is a wounded child within found?
· A child within occupies very specific places in the adult's body.

9 of 72
* A child within may be split between two locations:
1. Dissociated: one part somatized (in the body) and another ob-
serving from outside the body

2. Mind-body split: Symptoms occur concurrently in head and

body, for example: a "blank" in head and a "pounding heart."

How does a wounded child within communicate?

· A child within communicates through psychosomatic symptoms, night-
mares, flashbacks and persistent uncomfortable feelings over which the
adult has little control.

* The most common symptoms of a wounded child within are

A blank, blocking or spinning in the head
Dilated pupils
A lump or constriction in or around the throat
Hypoventilation
A heaviness on the chest
An emptiness or a blackness in the heart
A churning, knots or heaviness in the stomach

10 of 72

6
Where do symptoms of a child within come from?
* Symptoms are born at specific traumatic moments in childhood. These
moments may range from something as simple as a look in a mother's eye
that pierces the soul or unkind words from a father that bruise the heart, to
repeated violent sexual or physical abuse.

* Because a child within cannot distinguish her internal feelings from her body
or the external environment, the child, her body and feelings, and the
external environment become fused in an undifferentiated information mass
and create a symptom complex which permeates her experience and
persists into adulthood.

· Traumatic information can become part of a child's experience in two

ways:

11 of 72
 Condensation: The total traumatic experience is condensed
into a single moment. This is stored in the child's body as a so -
matic memory. For example, a perpetration takes 20 minutes.
This 20 minutes is condensed to a moment 2 seconds long in
which there is pressure of the perpetrator being on top. This 2
second interval sublimates into a pressure like a heavy rock. It
is this heavy rock symptom a client reports in therapy 20 years
later.

20 min_) 2 sec. Importation: At an instant during a trauma, a child's ego boundary

becomes permeable to the environment. Objects infiltrate
into the child like three-dimensional physiological holograms.
1

"Heavy like a rock

on my chest."

12 of 72
 "It's like a stone in my stomach."

1
1"1!1J1i
11 1
ft

13 of 72
The only way a child within can influence the adult and let the adult know she is still
trapped is by recreating these symptoms of a knot in the stomach, a blankness in the head
or a heart pounding like a hammer.

14 of 72

7
15 of 72
When is child within therapy indicated?

* When a client complains of persistent symptoms which do not dissipate or reduce significantly with other
therapies
· When a client presents with symptoms whose etiology directly relates to childhood experiences
When a client continues to experience discomfort or difficulty after a presenting problem appears
satisfactorily resolved ("Now I understand why I feel this way, and that's much better, but ....")
· When a client presents with symptoms that have no obvious or direct causati3n in the present
* When a client is resistant (This may be the child's communication that the Cher pist's approach is not helpful
and that a different approach is needed.)

· When a trauma has occurred in adulthood but was preceded by sensitizing childhood experiences

Contraindications
This approach is not recommended for:
* Psychotic or borderline clients
· Clients with severe multiple personality disorder

* Clients taking thenothiazines or benzodiazeines (These drugs suppress physiological affect. Clients
may exhibit interesting imagery, but a strong physiological correlative will be absent.)

16 of 72
PRINCIPLES

17 of 72
 Introduction

Three basic parameters, time, space and language, distinguish therapeutic

skills needed for working with a child within that are different from those
used when working wiith an adult.

A child.within is found frozen in a moment of time, never gets any older

and is usually in the same position, wearing the same clothes. This child
has a short half life (only present for a few seconds at a time during ther-
apy) and lives in the past, not in the present. When the therapist brings
the feelings of a child in the past into the body of the adult in the present it
hurts the client by splitting her between both realities. When the adult is
regressed from the present into the body of a child in the past and feels
the feelings of a child there is an analgesic effect which doesn't hurt the
client and keeps her in control.

A child within is trapped in space at a very specific geographical location.

This may be outside the adult's body (dissociated: "I don't feel connected
with what's going on around me"), or in symptoms inside the adult's body
(associated: "My mind is going blank"). When the therapist talks about the
adult client's symptoms, the client hears through adult ears. When the
therapist works with the child within, words are absorbed through the pores
of the skin at the exact location of the physiological symptom. For example,
if the symptom is a lump in the throat, the words should be gentle and
repetitive enough to be absorbed directly into the lump of the throat without
going through the ears of the adult.
Language for working with a wounded child within is different from lan-
guage for working with an adult client because the child lives "between the
lines" in the metaphors, symbols and imagery of the adult's descriptive lan-
guage. Discovering the wisdom in this wounded child requires a disciplined
intelligence to distinguish and separate adult and child within information
sources.. It is the non-differentiation of these information sources which
I can't comprehend keeps clients "stuck" in their symptoms.
why G,
A child within uses a primitive lexicon—for example silence, grunts, groans,
single word answers, tremors and shaking—which the therapist must learn
suffer 1 r so badly before the child feels heard. The therapist needs a language which will
with 1111 insomnia. enable him to enter the child's model of the world. This "clean" language
defines a syntax and grammar which ensures that the therapist will deliver
words that make sense to a child within. The child's fragile existence is
therefore not contaminated or deconstructed.

Intelligence is used here in its etymological sense: the ability to read be-
tween the lines (from the Latin intellegere: inter: between, legere: lines). In
this approach, disciplined intelligence refers to the ability to hear and move
with the child within between the lines of adult expression

18 of 72

9
19 of 72
 T-Minus-One (T-1)
Concepts: T-1, T, and T+1 represent points in the time continuum of
a traumatic event. Duration may
range from 1/10 second to
several
hours. Normal duration is usually a few seconds to several
minutes.

T is a specific moment in time, for example,

when the client was 6 years, 2 months, 1
week old on Tuesday at 11:22 p.m. This is
the moment the actual trauma occurred. T-1
is the penultimate moment before a
traumatic experience. The child within
fragment is trapped at this point, never
becoming a second older, never changing
position and always wearing the same
clothes.

T-1 T T+1
A moment in time The worst moment, A moment in time
just before the worst i. e., when affect is just after the worst
moment most intense moment

Rationale: By living in T-1, the fragment of the child within prevents

time from progressing. Therefore T never occurs in this child's expe-
rience. Other fragments of the child's persona continue to grow
The purpose of a
through T and T+1, evolve through to the adult, and become the
child within is
adult cognition that 1' did occur. However, the child within fragment
to prevent an
frozen at T-1 never learns that the experience was survived.
event.
The adult contributes to maintaining this fr I agment at T-1 by sup-
pressing symptoms that are necessary for the child to go through T.
For example: "I could never allow myself to throw up."

A common feature of T-1 is circular sets of symptoms. For example, "My

heart palpitates, I can't breathe, my head spins." These symptoms
recapitulate themselves in sequence, a repetitive symptom complex.

Objectives: This learning module introduces the concepts of T-1, T

and T+1 as points on a time continuum in a truamatic
event and shows the relevance of these time differences to
a therapeutic framework for effective resolution of the
experience.

20 of 72

10
 T- 1 T
T+1

Rules
1. A child within is found at T-1.
2. The therapist's intervention must make sense solely to the child
at T-1.
3. Do not rescue the child at T-1.
4. A child who has grown beyond T-1 and T to T+1 has been em-
powered and can contribute to the psychic economy of the adult.

5. A child within has to be older (T+1) before she is healed.

Examples:
1. A child who has been incested by her father always experiences him
walking into the room and sitting on her bed (T-1), i.e., before he
actually abuses her (T).

2. A client relives the experience of a car accident at T-1, i.e., the

moment just before the crash itself occurs: "I keep seeing him run
out in front of me."

3. In nightmares (being chased, falling), the dreamer always wakes up

before the worst moment (getting caught, hitting the ground).

Questions Answered:

21 of 72
 Why can't the therapist rescue a child within before the
symptoms exacerbate?

A. Rescuing the child within will give immediate symptom relief to

the adult and thereby condemn the child within to relive the ex -
perience again in the future because she has not matured in time
to T+1. This is the equivalent to waking up in a nightmare
before it can self-extinguish.

Q. What are the first clues to T-1?

A. Any symptom the client gives, such as, "I go blank," "I'm
confused."

Q. Why begin the intervention at T-1?

A. The adult may know cognitively everything that happened at T
and T+1, but the experience of the child remains fixated at T-
1 in order to prevent T, creating an amnesic barrier between T-
1 and T. "Tell me what happened" can only be answered by the
adult.

T-1 T T+1

22 of 72

11
.

23 of 72
Meta-Analysis: This section has illustrated how traumatic data is part of a specific time continuum.

A child's trauma requires a child solution

1. Conventional wisdom says: Information is concentrated at T.

Child within wisdom says: Information is concentrated at T-1.
2. .Conventional wisdom says: Encourage the client with information in the
present to cognitively reconstruct the past (T), or to visualize a solution
Child within wisdom says: Healing takes place when the child's own resources
are developed from within T-1 and then grown beyond T to T+1.

Everything a child within needs to heal is contained in symptoms in the past. If

you rescue a child within by introducing adult solutions you rob the child of her
ability to discover her own healing.
Cognitive restructuring does not travel well from the present to the traumatized
child within of the past.

24 of 72
 Information Storage Forms

Concept: When clients express their childhood traumatic experiences, the

form of their expression is often chaotic: attention shifts erratically
among thoughts, feelings, symptoms, and memory. Before this material
can be used, it must be organized by separating information stored in the
adult (cognition) from information stored in the child (metaphor, memory,
child within).

Information is stored in a specific form at one of four distinct

locations.

Location Form
Form

CX
Cognition: "I think ..."
Within the adult (T+1)

Within the child (T-1) Metaphor: "I'm scared."

The child's body (T- 1): I can't move

breath ing, hand
movement, etc.

External to child's body (T-1):

Memory content: "He's

.
coming to get me."
surrounding enviroment,
context

Rationale: Traumatic experience presents as undifferentiated data. In order to

use the information it contains, the therapist must separate and individuate
components of the experience.

Separation: Separation differentiates child information from adult infor-

mation. Clients' presenting symptoms are compounded by the adult's
repeated unsuccessful attempts to resolve childhood trauma. The thera-
pist must separate information which belongs to the adult (T+1) from
that which belong to the child (T-1).

Individuation: This step individuates the enmeshed childwithinforma-tion

by differentiating the figure of the child's body from the ground of the
memory content and the metaphors of the child's internal feelings and
thoughts. Individuation organizes chaotic data from a child within into
discrete and manageable bits of information. Each one of these forms
(figure, ground and metaphor) constitutes a separate information
source. As long as the information mass at T —1 remains undifferen -
tiated, the child will feel responsible for the actions of the perpetrator

25 of 72

13
 and for the feelings in her own body . Individuating the child's body from
the environment allows movement to occur beyond T— 1.

Objectives: This learning module shows the therapist how to:

1. Organize the client's chaotic information by separating it into its ap-
propriate storage forms.

When you are wounded as a child, 1. Gather all the information that belongs to the child at T-1 and separate it
you need to be healed as a child. into metaphor, memory and child within.

26 of 72
 Rules

I. Let the past be healed in the past by separating the adult's information
from the child's.

2. Individuate the child's body from her feelings and the environment.

3. The therapist's next question has to go to the same place (internal, body,
external) that the child within's last piece of information came from.

27 of 72
( Information inside
the child's body
("I'm scared")

The child is saying pay attention to my insides,

it's my feelings that need to be healed.
rep;

28 of 72
Information about the The child is saying I want to move my body
child's body so I can get free from this environment. Heal
("I can't move") my body and empower it so I can move.

Information external to The child is saying heal my memory , my ex-

the child's body ("He's ternal environment. Don't ask me about my
coming to get me") felings or my body, but stop him from getting
me.

29 of 72
Questions Answered:

Q. Why is the client's information chaotic?

A. A client's experience speaks with different voices. These voices emphasize
elements of the experience that are important to each. For example:
— The voice of memory speaks of the cold and dark.
— The voice of the feeling inside the child speaks somatically of a
tense knot in the stomach.
— The voice of the child's body wants to move somewhere warm but
cannot.
— The voice of the adult wants to stop the presenting symptoms of
coldness and a knot in the stomach.
These voices rattle together in a cacophany of sound. The therapist
needs to value each voice by giving each its separate identity in the time
that it was born.

Q. Why individuate the child from the experience?

A. To prevent T from happening, the child has assumed responsibility for the
event (taking control of the environment) and therefore has become frozen in
time. Individuation allow the child to relinquish responsibility for what is
happening to her.

30 of 72

14
Learning Activity:
— I really want to understand why I keep feeling so angry. I think it has
something to do with when I was a child, but I'm not sure.
— And when you're not sure, whereabouts are you not sure when
you're not sure?
— In my head.
— And whereabouts in your head?
— Behind my eyes. It's like a blank.
— And is there anything else about a blank that's behind your eyes? —
He's coming in. I can't look, I'm scared.
— And you can't look and you're scared, and whereabouts are you
scared?
— In my stomach, it's tied up like a knot.

Question: Identify when the client is presenting information from:

31 of 72
Cognition

Metaphor

Child within

Memory

32 of 72
Meta-Analysis: This section has explored information's four
locations and storage forms.
1. Conventional wisdom says: The client must own all her
feelings. By talking about feelings, the client will come to
understand why she has them.
Child within wisdom says: The child within does not
have to own those feelings. Individuation separates
feelings from the child's body and the environment so
that all forms of information can be grown appropriately
beyond T to T+1. A child within fragment can reach
T+1 without reliving the feeling or the memory.
2. Conventional wisdom says: Encourage the adult's
attempts to suppress symptoms as a means of providing
control.
3. Child within wisdom says: Separate adult cognition
from child within information to ensure that the
healing which occurs is the child's.

33 of 72
 OVERVIEW

INFORMATION SOURCE EXAMPLE NEXT QUESTION

T+1

And when you're confused

"I'm confused about about what's going on ,
IDULT what's going on." where are you confused?

"I Cognitive " And when you want to be

"I want to be free."
observation free, how do you know
you're not free?

METAPHOR And when you're scared,

"I'm scared." where are you scared
when you're scared?

"I'm Feeling
"
thought
CHILD WITHIN
", want to run away." And when (you) want to
run away what happens
next?
"I/ My Body

" And feet can't move and

"My feet can't move."
body part what would feet like to do
when feet can't move?

( Do not use your feet. )

"It's cold." And when it's cold what

kind of cold could that cold
be?

"He's coming to And as he's coming to get

MEMORY get me." you what happens next?

"He/It Environment"

Rule:
The last piece of information is usually the most important. For example:
— (C) I can't move and I'm scared.
—(T) And when you're scared, where are you scared? (internal locus) he's coming
to get me. (external locus)

— I can't move, and

34 of 72

16
—( T) And he's coming to get you, and what happens next when he's coming to get
you?

35 of 72
Example showing how metaphors help to transfer feelings in the adult's body to the child within.

36 of 72
Metaphors help transfer feelings in the
adult's body to the child within by [I'm] not sure what [I] want.
switching pronouns from "I" to "it". The
first use of the pronoun "I" denotes — And when you're not sure what you
ownership by the adult. want, how do you know you're not
sure what you want?
T+1
Adult
Info
—[I] just go blank.

— And when you just go blank,

where do you just go blank when
you just go blank?

— [l] don't know...ln my head,

suppose.

Transition for "I" to "it". — And in your head you suppose. And
when you just go blank and

it's
Use of "it" transfers ownership
from the adult to the metaphor
at T-1.
in your head, whereabouts in
your head?

— In the front of my eyes.

— And in the front of your eyes. And

when [it's] in front of your eyes,
does [it's] ye a shape or a size
Child
when it's in front of your eyes?

la like a large blank screen.

Memory begins to form from the meta- — And is there anything else about a
phor of blank screen. large blank screen like that?

- [it's] like a curtain is being

pulled across.

— And what kind of curtain?

— A hospital curtain.
— And what happened next when a hospital
curtain is being pulled across? —

I get scared.

— And how old could you be when you get

scared?

— I'm just little.

37 of 72
38 of 72
The blank belongs to just little in the hospital and not to the adult.
— I get scared.
By changing the adult's "not sure" into the metaphor blank a memory
— And how old could you be when
you get scared?
is recovered from a blank curtain and inside the memory — I'm just little

39 of 72
Changing Words Into Metaphors

Concepts: Clients describe symptoms in adult (secondary processing)

language which must be translated into primary processing language
forms of the child (memory, metaphor, child within) before the infor-
mation from the experience can be useful.

40 of 72

Language of the adult
(secondary processing language/words)
Semantics
Somatics
Language of the child within at T —
(primary processing languagefimagery)
Metaphor: n., from the Greek 1.1.ctaCopot (a container): a form of
speech which transfers the sense of one word to another
Epistemology: The rules of personal knowledge. For example:
"When I'm anxious, I get a knot in my stomach." For purposes of
this presentation, epistemology is defined as a metaphor which
contains the rules of knowledge and a full spectrum of cognitive,
affective, visual and behavioral information. Operationally, it is de -
fined as the answer to the question, "How do you know what you
know?"
Epistemological metaphor: An ordinary word or phrase that is
used to describe a feeling or thought and that can be transformed
Anger Awareness
into an image or symbol. Epistemological metaphors are devel-
oped from feeling-words by questions such as, "And when you
have where do you have ...?"
Volcano A where-ness
41 of 72
 Rationale: Metaphors more closely approximate experience than words
because they contain more information than the words of ordinary
(adult) speech. This makes metaphors a useful medium of informa tion
exchange between the child and the tlierapist. The adult, on the other
hand, does not recognize the metaphor for what it is: "It's just a
word." Metaphors are a foreign language to the adult. This keeps the
adult from contaminating the child's experience.

Objectives: This learning module shows the therapist how to:

1. Identify a feeling-word, thought or attribution from a client and

transform it into a metaphor that is understandable by the child at
T-1.
2. Use these metaphors to grow the child within to T+1.
3. Transform negative metaphors from T-1 into healing
metaphors at T+1.

1
tight hard Solt
like
like
4 ,

a knot like
a rock cotton

42 of 72

18
 Rules
1. Symptoms are metaphors waiting to be born. The therapist must
value these negative symptoms above the adult's attempts to
suppress them.
1. Transform feeling and thought words into metaphors by asking
the question, "And when you have...where do you have...?"
2. Metaphors must make sense to the child within. They may or
may not make sense to the adult or the therapist.
3. Resistance is the metaphor's way of telling the therapist to stop what
Resistance is the metaphor's right she is doing.
to life campaign.
4. Any type of resistance, such as blocking, headaches or anxiety,
must be transformed into metaphor. Resistance transformed into
metaphor always contains the next element in the healing
process.
5. Interrogate the metaphor until it confesses its strength.

Questions Answered:

43 of 72
Q. Can there be more than one metaphor?
A. Metaphors usually occur in sets of two or three. The most com-
mon set is the mind-body split when there is a metaphor in the
head, such as a blank, and a metaphor in the body, such as a
sharp knife in the heart. Both metaphors contain relevant
information. When they are brought together, the knife may
operate on the blank and transform into a pen ikhich draws all the
visual components on to blank paper.

Q. How does the therapist tell if the metaphor comes from the adult or
the child?
A. It doesn't matter which one the metaphor comes from. Its relevance
can be established only after it is formed.

Q. Do metaphors have to be visualized?

A. No. Metaphors need to be present in all their modalities: kines -
thetic, idetic and cognitive. It is important not to use visual predi -
cates ("visualize," "see," "look"), which limit the client's
experience and may create dissociative splitting, such as an adult
observing ego.

Q. Can a transformed metaphor revert back?

A. If the metaphor originated from a single event, and the experience
has not generalized into everyday activity, the metaphor will not
recidify and the client will feel healed. If the metaphor has
generalized, as in anxiety or obsessive compulsive disorders,
then the metaphor is likely to revert back to its original form. In
this case, the therapist's objective is to teach the client the mech-
anism or process of the metaphor in order to lessen the intensity
of the symptoms by establishing a routine of moving the meta-
phor from T-1 to T + 1.

44 of 72

19
Meta-Analysis: This section has explored the value of transforming ordinary
language into metaphor.

1. Conventional wisdom says: Bring the past into the present to be

healed. Clients gain insight and experience catharsis when they talk
about their feelings.
Child within wisdom says: Leave the past in the past. Change feeling-
words into metaphors. This primary language of the child within is
contextually dependent on the past at T-1. There can be no
interpretation or insight until after this information has been
transformed at T+1.

2. Conventional wisdom says: Metaphors describe experience.

Child within wisdom says: Metaphors more closely approximate
experience than explanation or description. Metaphors are words
permeated by the experience itself so that they actually become the
experience from which they arise.

3. Conventional wisdom says: The therapist can help the client by in-
troducing metaphorical allegories or teaching narratives. These
metaphors are based on personality profiles, and the therapist may
choose one that fits the client.
Child within wisdom says: The therapist learns to use the client's own
metaphors. Therapy provides an opportunity for both therapist and
client to discover metaphors already embedded in the client's
experience. There are no archetypes to these metaphors.

4. Conventional wisdom says: Help clients change their experience by

having them visualize or imagine a solution.
Child within wisdom says: Metaphors need to be transformed in a very
physical way. Metaphors are custodians of the limbic system and
transformation of metaphors becessitates a direct physiological
correlative
5. Conventional wisdom says: Symptoms must be relieved. The ther-
apist's role is to help clients divest themselves of symptoms.
Child within wisdom says: Symptoms are unsuccessful attempts by
the child within to heal herself. The therapist's role is to value these
symptoms and to help the child within use them as a source of
healing.

45 of 72
 Exercise for Developing Metaphors from Words

The following exercise is designed to provide practice in identifying

word clues and developing metaphors from a practice partner's
words.

1. Sit alongside your partner. Do not make eye contact.

2. Ask: "And what would you like to have happen?"
Types of responses:
a. "I want to be free." Next question: "And when you want to be free,
how do you know you're not free?"
h. "I want this pain to go away." Next question: "And when you want this
pain to go away, where is this pain when you have this pain?"
c. "I don't know what I want." Next question: "And when you don't know
what you want, how do you know that you don't know what you
want?"
3. Ask the following questions until you have all the qualities and can
draw the metaphors in the figure below.

46 of 72
 W els
H e
Q E abo
y
u R ut...
o
e E ?
s u
t
i a
k
o b
n
n o
s o
u
w
T t
o s
y
.
E o
.
s u Optional: Make
t . metaphors move by
a . using the
h
b ? following questions:
l a
And what
i v
would...like to
s e
h And have happen?
. And what
is it
E . would...like to
p on do?
.
i ? the And as....
s insid (movement
t e or verb), what
e W
the happens next?
m H
o E outsi
l de? Then ask questions to
o R make words physical.
E And p.33.
g
i what
c d 's it
a like?
l o
And what kind...?
M y And
e o doe
t
u s it
a
p hav
h h e a
o a sha
r
s v pe
e or a
. size
. ?
And when you have.... . And
H ? is
o ther
w x e
any
d 2 thin
o g

47 of 72

21
If questions go to
the adult:
Re-direct to the
metaphors. For
example:
— And what would
you like to have
happen with...?
— I want to get rid
of...
— And when you
want to get rid
of....what
does...want to
do when you
want to get rid
of...?

48 of 72
Developing Child Within
The First Clue: The first clue to a child's presence may be
* A shift in the tonality of the client's voice to a softer, whisper-like
quivering tone
* Client's use of the pronoun "I" (for example: "I'm scared") especially
if previous responses referenced only metaphor
* Client's use of the pronoun "he/she" (Indicates an adult observing
ego). For example: "She's cold and lonely."
Bringing The Child Into Being: Once identified, the child must be given a form
and sense of being. The following question brings the child into being: —I'm
scared.
— And when you're scared, how old
could you be when you're scared? —
Just little.
Defining The Child: Defining a child within requires defining both the child's
clothing and her surrounding environment. For example:
—And just little. And what could you be wearing when you're just
little?
— A dress.
— And a dress. And what kind of dress could that dress be?
— Pink.
—And pink. And is there anything else about a dress that's pink?
(Define in great detail any item of clothing.)
Other questions to define a child:
And when you're[ just little], do you have anything else on?
And is there anything else about you when you're [just little]? If
these questions draw no response, it usually means that there is no
body, or that the experience is pre-verbal. In these cases, ask
questions that go to the feeling inside or to the memory outside the
child's body. For example,
— And what happens next when you don't know how old you could
be?
Establishing Communication: Once the child is defined, communication be-
comes possible. Initially, communication is established solely between the child
and the therapist. Questions address the child directly to find out what she wants—
not what the adult thinks the child should have.
Objectives at this point are to find out what the child wants and to ask
questions to help her achieve that, and to grow the child toward T.
And what would...Ake to have happen?
And what would...Ake to do?
And how can that happen?
And what would be the first thing that would need to happen?
For example:
— And what would just little who's wearing a pink dress like to have
happen?

Developing Memory
When the focus of the child within is on the external environment, the therapist
must ask questions to establish the form of the ground, including people
present.
And is there anything else about....?
And...like what?
And what kind ...?
And where could .... be?
And who could....be?
49 of 72
 Maturing Information

)@>
Concept: Because immature raw data results in repetitive negative symp-
toms at T-1, the first symptom information given by a child within is nor -
mally puzzling and incomprehensible. To make sense out of these
symptoms, they need to be matured and evolved. As symptoms are ma-
tured towards T, they get worse before they can get better.

Matured information is data that

makes a difference.

T-1 T

Rationale: A child within gives immature information because she always

presents with symptoms that are regressed several seconds, minutes or
hours before the actual trauma occurred. To make sense of these symp -
toms they need to be matured and evolved by growing them forward in
time to the traumatic moment, T. When symptom information, whether it is
metaphor, child within or memory, is matured to T, a healing solution can
be discovered. Matured information contains the seeds of healing for the
child within at the border of T-1 and T.
Objectives: This learning module shows the therapist how to:

1. Ask questions that have a horizontal motif. For example:

And what happens next...?
And then what happens...?
And what happens after...?
And how long will that take...?
These questions invite the components of frozen time to move
naturally and progressively toward T.

1. Make words physical. This is done by asking the following

questions:
And what could be the first thing that could happen so that...?
And how could that happen...?

STUCK SOLUTION And when can that happen....?

And can that happen....?
And as that happens, what happens next....?
The tasks must be broken down into small incremental steps so that
parts of the child will not be left behind.
It is easy to just let the idea go ahead without the child physically
moving. For example, "I could move my feet", at this stage is only an
idea.
— And can feet move?

50 of 72

23
 Rul e s
1. Information must be matured from data found in T-1.
2. All information from metaphors, memory and child within must be
matured until T where the information can be transformed.
3. Any information that has not been matured can repeat itself in the same or
similar symptoms.
4. The therapist must ensure that questions are experienced physiologically
("making words physical") as information is matured and that developments
are not just ideas or imagery from the adult or wishful child.
5. If the information has not reached T+1 by the end of a therapy session, the
child within must be "parked" in a safe place, at the furthest end of T-1 from T.
6. Things get worse before they get better.

Examples:

1. When a client presents with acute symptoms such as nausea, the therapist grows the information through 'I' into T +
1 to get a child within after she has thrown up, not before:

51 of 72
— I think I'm going to throw up.
And as you think you're going to throw
up, what happens next?
It's coming up.
— And as it's coming up then what
happens?
— I think I'm going to die.
T-1
The therapist encourages the metaphor to ma-
ture. By asking "What happens next?" time is
moved on.
The word "coming" is valued so that time can
move forward. It denotes separation of feeling
from adult.

52 of 72
And as you think you're going to die, The therapist values the word "die" and continues
how long does it take before you die? to move time by asking the client, "What happens
And what happens next after you die? next?"

53 of 72
 .""'""'••

4If l i g qlVV' — Nothing. T+1

54 of 72
 — And how long does nothing last and what "Nothing" exists in the time continuum, and after
happens after nothing? valuing "nothing," the client has new piece infor-
mation in T+1.
— I can breathe. I didn't die.

— And you can breath and you didn't die

ri
and what would you like to do next?

55 of 72

24
a

5
6

o
f

7
2
57 of 72
2. A young child will frequently want to sleep. When the child wakes, she is
older than when she went to sleep. Sometimes the child will have
matured several years. A clue to this: The bedroom will have different
wallpaper.

3. A child within whose body is stuck and cannot move

discovers that a little finger can wiggle. Time has
progressed from the point when she could not move.

58 of 72
Questions Answered:

Q. What does a therapist do when she doesn't know what to do?

A. Ask the information sources. The information sources themselves
contain the information about what needs to be done. When they are
asked, they can provide the inftormation or clue about what to do
next. For example, "And when you want to get rid of knot, what does
knot want to do?"

Q. How does the therapist know when information is matured as far as

possible?
A. A knot is matured until it has no more features.
— And is there anything else about knot? —
No.
— And what happens next?
— I want to run away.
The next information form naturally presents itself when the last one
has no more to offer.

Q. What if the child's symptoms are developed and the adult is not
happy with it?
A. The child has waited a long time to be heard. The therapist needs
to listen to her. If she is ignored, symptoms in which she tries to
commumicate will remain or exacerbate. The child's symptoms
need to be matured so she can be healed at T.

59 of 72

25
 Q. How does the therapist know if it is the adult or the child within
who is maturing the information?
A. The procedures are the same, whether or not the therapist knows
who is maturing the information. Once a solution is presented by
the client, the therapist asks questions to make words physical. If
the solution has come from the adult or a wishful child, these
questions will not receive answers that bring about movement to -
ward a solution. The therapist needs to continue asking questions
until a solution is found that is "do-able" by the child.

Q. How do you know when the client has reached T+1?

A. T+1 is always reached by movement either in time or space or by
a transformation in a formerly painful metaphor. For example: The
child goes to sleep and wakes up the next morning (movement in
time), or runs out of the room and goes to grandma's house
(movement in space). Or, a symptom such as a knot in the
stomach (a metaphor) transforms into a soft blanket

Meta-Analysis: This learning module has dealt with why and how data is
matured into information.
1. Conventional wisdom says: Data is obtained by taking a client's
history.
Child within wisdom says: Data that is relevant comes from the in-
formation sources at T-1.
2. Conventional wisdom says: Analyse data to understand why the
client feels anxious, then offer a crisis intervention, cognitive re-
construction or behavioral technique 4o counteract the anxiety.
Child within wisdom says: Don't analyse data. Mature it into infor-
mation from sources at T-1.

60 of 72
Maturing Information

Maturing Information About A Child Within

When a child within has been identified and developed, the therapist must
ask questions to make the child's body move or parts of the body move.
Questions to make the body of a child move: (I want to get out.)
And what would....like to have happen?
And what would ....like to do?
And how can that happen?
And what could be the first thing that could happen so that (child's
name or you) could....?

Questions to make parts of the child's body move: (My feet are stuck) And
what would (feet) like to have happen?
And what would (feet) like to do next?
And how can that happen?
And what could be the first thing that could happen so that (feet)
could...?

Then ask questions to make words physical, p. 33. These questions grow the
frozen fragment of the child along in time toward T to T+1.

61 of 72
Maturing Information About Metaphors

62 of 72
63 of 72
 When all the qualities of the metaphor are known, time is matured by ad
dressing the metaphor with the following que0ions:
And what would ... like to have happen?
And what would ... like to do?
And as...(movemnt verb), what happens next?

Then ask questions to make words physical, p. 33.

Maturing Information About A Memory

When the client give mostly memory, the aspects of the memory must be
developed, and the memory must be moved along in time.
And how long is....for?
And what happens after ....?
And what would....like to do?
And as .... (movement verb), what happens next?

Fig

64 of 72
 Clean Language

Concept: Clean language accesses the language of the child within (pri -
mary processing language) without contaminating it with the therapist's
metaphors. It is the therapist's responsibility to only ask questions that
feel just right to a child within.

Questioning proceeds spatially, i.e., strictly according to the locus of the

client's information. The therapist's next question must always go to ex -
actly the same source from which the last piece of information came.
For example: If a client says, "I'm scared," the source of the client's in -
formation is feeling ("scared"); "he's coming to get me," the source is
memory. The next question goes to either feeling (And when you're
scared, where are you scared?) or memory (And when he's coming to
get you, what happens next?).

Table of Comparison

Primary Processing Language Secondary Processing Language

65 of 72

28
Lexical, word dependent "Ordinary" language use; the client talks about her
experience

Words are linguistic clues; lack of syntax, usual Sentences; case and grammar dependent
grammar

Use of primitive language of metaphors; symbols and A formalized language of models and similes
sounds, such as silence, grunts, groans, tremors
and shaking (A child within is most often
alexthinimic)

Draws out the contours of pre-traumatic experience Restricts information to an adult interpretation of the child's
trauma; only talks about trauma from an observer's
perspective

Time dependent, has a short half-life Not time dependent because it is dissociated from ex-
perience and can be recalled with minimal degradation
of meaning

Depends on the therapist's asking the right questions to Context can become merged with "solutions" the therapist
support the context offers

Structured according to its own internal logic Structured according to external logic dictated by grammar,
syntax and social context

Meaning depends solely on the information source Meaning depends upon both sender and receiver of
information

66 of 72
Sends messages but is not interactive Sends messages and is interactive because it takes
into account the receiver

67 of 72
 Rationale: Clean language is used as a tool to:
-r
Objectives: This learning module shows the therapist how to:
A therapist is only as good
as her next question.
68 of 72
* Create hygienic conditions within the client's experience, making the
event more amenable to transformation.
* Facilitate a state of self-absorbtion and naturalistic trance.
* Communicate effectively and efficiently with nonconscious
processes.
* Avoid contamination or deconstruction of the client's subjective
experience.
* Minimize resistance.
* Translate feelings out of words into physiological imagery.
* Achieve resonance and amplification of clients' language to discover
the source of their metaphors and symbols.
* Pinpoint accurately questions and statements that reflect the
client's model of the world.
* Empower the child within by using the child's primary processing
language.
1. Ask clean questions (questions that are structured by the child's
information rather than the therapist's training).
2. Learn the lexicon of the child's language without imposing adult
grammar and syntax.
3. Discover the child within at T-1.
Rules
1. Ask questions answerable by the child within at T-1. If one question is
not answerable, ask a different one.
2. Use the same verb form and tense as the client.
3. Use the subjunctive mood. This allows choices and solutions to
come from the information source.
4. Do not use the definite article "the".
5. Use "you" only when the client uses "I." "You" must be contextual-
ized so that it goes to the child, not to the adult.
6. Use "he" or "she" only if the client uses the pronoun, as it implies a
dissociated observing adult ego.
7. Begin each sentence with "And ...".
8. Use "And when ..." as a natural invitation to regress the client.
Examples:
Clean Language Questions Ordinary Language Questions
What would you like to have happen? What can I do for you?
And is there anything else about that? How does that feel?
And as that happens, what happens next? Tell me what happened.
And what can happen so you don't have to be scared? What can you do to stop feeling scared?

69 of 72
Questions Answered:

Q. In clean language, what determines whether a question is

answerable?
A. A useful check: Is the question answerable by a fragment of a lit tle
child who is frozen in time and trapped in space before a trau -
matic event has occurred, and who does not know what is about
to happen?

Q. Can ordinary questions be mixed with clean language questions?

A. No. Mixing questions splits clients between the present adult and the
past child within. They lose control of both realities, and their
answers will appear to be incongruent.

Q. Why is it a problem to ask for more than one kind of information in a

question, for example: "And when he's coming to get you, how do
you feel about that?"
A. Asking this kind of question fuses information sources together, e. g.,
making the ground (memory) go internal (feeling). This further
enmeshes the information sources and keeps the child within frozen
at T-1.

Q. Is there a structured protocol for clean questions?

A. No. Each question is based on what the client said last. Q.

Will clean language work with resistant clients?

A. By definition, clean language asks only those questions a client can
answer. Unanswerable questions create resistant clients. It is the
therapist's responsibility to ask only questions that a client can
answer.

Meta-Analysis: This learning module has explored the differences

between ordinary (secondary processing) language questions and
clean language questions (those congruent with the child's informa -
tion at T-1).

1. Conventional wisdom says; Ask questions of the client, and en-

courage her to talk about her experiences and feelings (secondary
processing language).

Child within wisdom says: Ask questions the child within can an-
swer. Use clean language to learn the child's lexicon so that she will
feel heard.

2. Conventional wisdom says: Information is found at T. Use questions

that ask for cognition and insight to help clients understand their
experience.

Child within wisdom says: Information is found at T-1. Utilize the

child's language (primary process metaphors) to organize and
develop the chaotic information found at T-1.

70 of 72

30
I

71 of 72

31
72 of 72