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Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other
Book Summary
EDUC 5306
Spring 2014
Darcelle Lofton
Yolanda Plear
Lorena Hobdari
Alone Together 2
Chapter 1:
In Chapter 1 Turkle discusses how children and the elderly began to rely on robotics such
as ELIZA, Zhu Zhu robot hamsters, and even talking sex robots for companionship. She feels
that“singularity” will occur and lead to a technological rapture. Singularity is when machine
intelligence crosses a tipping point. Turkle wants us to understand the difference between
connection and relationship, involvement with an object and engagement with a subject. She
believes a trend began with Tamagotchis and Furbies, the first computers that asked for
love.Devices such as these support the idea that it is appropriate to mourn the “digital”.
Chapter 2:
Turkle goes into more details about the requirements for taking care of Furbies, and
Tamagotchis. Children became more connected to these devices because unlike a regular doll,
these robotics, (such as the furby) “have their own ideas”. They are more “people-like” than a
regular pet. Turkle believes “We are to the point of seeing digital objects as both creatures and
machines. “ She discusses My Real Baby, a robot doll that acted like a real baby. After
conducting research and observing children with these devices, Turkle feels toys such as the
furby and my real baby create a new ethical landscape. She feels people will begin to expect
Chapter 3:
The AIBO is a robotic dog discussed in this chapter. Some people prefer this robotic
device because you‟re actually “interacting” with something. Turkle however suggests that this
device creates a fantasy in which “we cheapen the notion of companionship.” She says this
companionship with a robot can lead to “alterity”, the ability to see the world through the eyes of
another. In her opinion, without alterity there can be no empathy. Through her research, Turkle
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discovers that children prefer robotic devices because they are “more real” and “go through all
the stages”. Turkle is concerned that children are getting comfortable with the idea that a robot‟s
Turkle describes an MIT event where a woman experiences the My Real Baby robot.
When asked how she felt about the experience with the robot and her excitement about owning
her own My Real Baby, the consumer responds, “No reason, it just gives me a good feeling.”
Turkle says that the concept of the robot dog and baby causes individuals to imagine a life where
robots “effectively” take care of us and respond to our needs. In the absence of working class
parents, even children, Turkle presents, have come to find the constancy of the robot to be a
bridge for these emotional gaps. Turkle does an outstanding job of comparing the past depiction
robots as helpmates and caregivers (R2D2 of Star Wars, WAL-E, 9, and AI: Artificial
Intelligence) .
Finally, in Chapter 4, Turkle examines the “litmus test” used to determine general
attitudes towards the robot seen as a necessity for children. Turkle finds in her observations and
studies, that the attitude towards these My Real Babysitters, etc. is dependent upon the current
babysitter or caregiver in the child‟s life. If the child has a good and nurturing relationship with
the baby sitter or grandparent, then the robot “relationship” is one of disinterest. However if a
child has a boring or unenthusiastic baby sitter or caregiver, then interest in the robot will be
significantly increased.
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In chapter 5 we are introduced to Cog a mechanical toddler with artificial intelligence and
created to respond (complex behavior) to its environment. Created in the 1990s, Turkle admits
that the introduction to this robot “changed” her conversation and perception to artificial
intelligence. In an adjacent laboratory, another robot child named Kismet is created. This toddler
was created like Cog to respond to external stimuli, but also to evoke responses. Kismet babbles
and cries like a toddler in order to cause a reaction from those it encounters. As Turkle continues
the chapter, her summation is again that these robots are continuing to evolve as technology
evolves. Turkle states that these robots are not “toys”, they have their own toys. Most
importantly, these robots form relationships with both the children and adults to whom they
belong. Emotional expressions, such as “Kismet loves me”, demonstrates the level of the
relationships created with these robots. Turkle introduces the idea of I and Thou, meaning mind
and heart respectively. As she concludes the chapter Turkle describes the “heart” relationship
with these robots with respect to the body, face and voice, caring, and disappointment and anger.
In each description, Turkle provides examples of how relationships with the robots provides
caring and comfort “heart perspective” for the children that have relationships with them.
In chapter 6, Turkle examines the usefulness of robots used in the nursing home. The idea
is that the robots would simulate the elderly, by giving the My Real Baby to those in nursing
homes something to care for. The demand was so high for My Real Baby in one nursing home,
that the nurses sought out the robots on eBay to meet the demand. Children also felt the robots
would help their elderly grandparents, as Turkle states was an overwhelming belief of a group of
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5th graders. However, the note of concern remained whether the sociable robots would take the
place of people? The idea of the caring machine has continued to flourish according to Turkle,
who cites Japan as leading the way for advancement and creation of “caring machines” in
response to decline of individuals available to care for the aging population. By 2005,
symposiums on the effectiveness of these caring machines are being and leading into the notions
Chapter 7
In chapter 7, the relationships between humans and robots are explored. Several students
of robotics from MIT are discussing their feelings on the relationships that people can build with
robots, and how they should get used to having them around in the future. Several robots that
have been created as companions are seen in this chapter. For example, Kismet, a robot who can
mimic human mannerisms, and the tester, Rich, who begins to feel a romantic bond between
himself and the robot. Also, the idea of being able to go inside the mind of a human to transfer
feelings and program them at just the right timing into the robot‟s responses, so that the human
using the robot as a companion does not feel as though the relationship is one sided and cold.
The robots created go from having just sounds that respond to speech, to actual movements in
Chapter 8
Chapter 8 opens up by giving a glimpse into MIT‟s cyborg group. This group committed
to walking through life completely connected to technology at all times through a device on their
glasses lens in the early 90‟s, at a time before Iphones and Androids. There was a cyborg who
even felt alone and at a loss for words without being connected to technology. However, as the
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time went on and smartphones became popular, it was not so much taboo to be seen as a cyborg,
because according to the book, we are all cyborgs now as we are constantly connected through
technology somewhere in our lives. “Online, like MIT‟s cyborgs, we feel enhanced (178). The
joy of a new email, the mystery behind the Facebook message symbol, the anticipation of the
next Tweet, all keep us wanting more and unwilling to step away from our mini windows to the
digital world.
Chapter 9
Growing up Tethered, the 9th chapter sheds light on the relationships children and
adolescents have now compared to the same age group of past generations. Whereas teens of the
past came to an age where there was a rite of passage into adulthood, teens now are not as
independent, the author suggests, because of their technological dependence on parents. If the
child wants a contract phone, they have to agree to the terms...never ignoring their parent‟s call
(199). With this string still attached, the child knows mom and dad are always a call away, and
may never quite gain that same sense of aloneness that builds independence experienced by their
parents and generations past. The idea of independence for these teens is merely not answering a
text or call, or even more risky, leaving their phones at home. The group of students also
expressed how a lack of response on the opposite end can set the tone for their whole day. One
student said when she‟s happy, she texts it. When she is sad, she texts it to her friends as well.
But when the response is not one she hoped for, it can make her feel worse than when she
originally shared her feelings through text (202). Computers and phones offer a sense of
community and family no matter what is going on in the world around a young adolescent (205).
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Chapter 10
Chapter 10 is a chapter that is becoming easier and easier to relate to as we see the impact
chapter that examines the fact that people are becoming more comfortable speaking online even
though some of them may never speak a word in public to those they do not know. It is easy for
one to hide behind their Tweets and post pictures to Instagram that are filtered until perfect.
There are infinite chances to type and retype and edit and undo before an email or Instant
Message is sent, each time possibly allowing the author to sound more confident or upfront than
However, as stated in the chapter, this is only an illusion of privacy. This is evident
through the rise in exposure and opportunities dropped due to Facebook posts or wrongly
directed pictures. Many of the people who spoke in this chapter felt like actually talking on the
phone was a burden and added stress, although texting and email made them feel as though they
had more control over what they discuss throughout their day, and to whom and when. Audrey, a
junior in high school, speaks in this chapter about how her phone is the glue that holds her life
together. However, Audrey is shy; therefore that glue is held with Facebook adhesive, not so
much phone call conversations. Audrey feels protected by her text conversations because she
feels phone calls can too easily get out of control and what the other person says cannot be
controlled. Whereas with a text, every message is thought out and calculated as to be able to
steer conversations in almost any direction with just a reply. Audrey admits to portraying herself
as more lively and flirtatious online, even though in person, she is usually quiet so as not to
disturb her mother‟s own texting and social networking obligations. Audrey feels like Facebook
Chapter 11
In chapter 11, Turkle characterizes our relationship with technology as two-sided. This
two-sided relationship is as follows: the web offers us the promise of companionship without the
control. In chapter 11, the author shows her fear of technology and the effects it has on
relationships. She gives examples of different cases where people become so involved in their
virtual lives to the point where they are neglecting their real world. First she talks about Joel, a
computer programmer who doesn‟t have time to explore his artistic side and uses Second Life to
do that.
The second case study is Adam, a 43 year-old bachelor shy man, who dreams of
becoming a singer and song writer but is currently working as a tech to support himself. He
spends sleepless nights online playing simulation games such as Quake and Civilization. Adams
case supports her overall thesis that technology connects us but at the same time it makes us feel
Chapter 12
In chapter 12, Turkle talks about confessional websites. There are different online sites
that encourage people to confess their feelings, guilt, and thought to unknown number of readers
that are anonymous. Sometimes the posts receive responses, which are positive or negative,
giving the illusion of personal interaction. Turkle fears that this is another factor that shows why
we are beginning to rely more on technology and less on each other: “Confessing to a friend
might bring disapproval. But disapproval, while hard to take, can be part of an ongoing and
In this chapter, the author also talks about the difference between confessing and
apologizing. To confess is to say that you did something wrong, while to apologize is to say you
are sorry. Turkle‟s concern is that confessional sites will change the definition of a relationship.
The online readers start to become more valuable than real friends.
Chapter 13
In the 13th chapter of the book, Sherry Turkle talks about how the internet and various
new technologies tend to bring people different levels of anxiety. Technology definitely enables
people to better manage stresses in their lives, such as being able to keep electronic calendars, or
being able to get ahold of their loved ones at any time. But it also brings new stresses in that the
online world is a new social environment where one strives to be accepted and liked, especially
among adolescents and young adults. One of the case studies Turkle talks about in this chapter is
Brad, who is 18-year-old. Brad expresses this fear: “…he no longer sees online life as a place to
relax and be himself „because things get recorded…It‟s just another thing you have to keep in the
back of your mind that you have to do things very carefully” (257). This causes new anxieties
over privacy and fear that people will be able to find everything we‟ve ever said online. Turkle
fears that in today‟s society, people are relying too much on technology to solve problems and
anxieties and less on relationships with people that are real and present in our lives.
Chapter 14
The author concludes the novel with the topic of nostalgia. She talks about how people
still look back and remember the good memories they had during the days prior to the Internet
and Smartphones. Teenagers as well as adults speak longingly of the days where letters and even
phone calls were the norm. Now those kinds of method of communication are being replaced by
text messages, emails, and blog updates. Turkle also talks about how sad it is that many
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teenagers now days have never received a written letter and they don‟t know the feeling of it.
Turkle describes this in terms of two friends, Robin and Joanne. Joanne went abroad to do
research for her dissertation and while she was away she sent personalized letters to Robin with
the details of her trip. The next time Joanne went abroad, she simply updated a blog that she
posted to her Facebook for anyone to read. Robin felt cheated in that now everyone was could
read Joanne‟s updates and she lost that special connection that she felt when receiving a letter
Citations
Behr, R.(2011, January 29). Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2011/jan/30/alone-together-sherry-turkle-review
In this review the author, Rafael Behr says and I quote, “Turkle is a psychoanalyst by
training and her instinct is to describe unfamiliar social habits as pathologies. She tends to revel
in the more neurotic cases among her subjects and to gloss over happier experiences of
technology, although she rarely lets clinical jargon infect her prose. The focus on psychology
also neglects wider social and economic forces. Western civilization was probably on a trajectory
of atomization, loneliness and narcissism before the invention of the internet. But that does not
invalidate the diagnosis. The robotic moment is not a point in history but a threshold in ethics. It
is the decision we make to put our faith in technology as the antidote to human frailty, when
acceptance of frailty is what makes us human.” Behr goes into detail about the first few chapters
of the book. He describes the robots as “imitating” living things. Most of the subjects Turkle
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used for her research were children or elderly, and after a while with the same device a bond was
usually formed. Behr believes Turkle has a background in analyzing people psychologically. He
mentions that she only used her most “neurotic” cases, which means her research is not
completely valid.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/23/books/review/Lehrer-t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
In his review of Turkle‟s “ Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and
Less from Each Other”, author Jonah Lehrer is quoted as saying “I certainly don‟t expect Turkle
to have all the answers, but her ethnographic portraits would have benefited from a more probing
investigation of such questions. The teenagers she quotes complain about everything — phones,
texting, e-mail, Skype. And yet, virtually none of them seem willing to turn off the digital
spigot…… Needless to say, the portrait painted by these studies is very different from the one in
Turkle‟s fascinating, readable and one-sided book. We are so eager to take sides on technology,
to describe the Web in utopian or dystopian terms, but maybe that‟s the problem. In the end, it‟s
just another tool, an accessory that allows us to do what we‟ve always done: interact with one
other. The form of these interactions is always changing. But the conversation remains.” Lerner
sees Turkle‟s book as a tale of “two cities”. Lerner agrees that there is some credence to the
author‟s observations, but states that her novel is “one-sided” in its observation of technology.
Rather than creating isolation, Lerner states that technology is merely a tool to assist us in what
Stadermann, A. L. (2011, September 18). Book Review on Sherry Turkle: Alone Together.
on-sherry-turkle-alone-together/
Stadermann reviewed Alone Together by Sherry Turkle, and in response to the book, she
expressed that she feels Turkle‟s book is very one sided and typical for a person of Turkle‟s age.
She agrees that the points made by Turkle are valid, but that her message toward our future
society, which will no doubt be technologically advanced as much as it is now, if not more, is
unfair and negative. As far as Turkle‟s opinion about adolescents being dependent on parents and
lacking maturity because of their digital connectedness, Stadermann feels that Turkle is losing
sight of learning from experience. Stadermann feels that if one chooses to text and message and
Facebook all night, they will eventually feel the effects of less sleep and a lack of energy, and
learn from their experience to prioritize their time. Stadermann goes on to state that we all have
freedom of choice, online and off, and it is up to the individual to prioritize and manage their
REFLECTIONS
Chapters 1-3
While some may feel new robotic inventions, such as the tamagotchis are very clever.
Turkle feels that society is replacing these robots and/or devices for real human interaction. The
more “human-like” qualities the device has, the more popular it is. She feels that if we continue
to rely on such devices it could lead to trouble. If we are all consumed with our pet robots, or
began talking to a machine to the point where we no longer rely on human interaction, could this
lead to our demise as a people? In my opinion such devices could be beneficial for a person that
is lonely or wants a listening ear. They could also be used as a teaching tool for children.
Although Turkle seems to think we are headed for the “technological rapture”, I feel she seems
Chapters 4-6
The author goes to great length to explore the benefits of robot and their increasingly
“more human qualities”. As the robot become more “life-like”, and are interact with humans on a
more natural level, Turkle advocates their use and overgeneralizes their benefits in my opinion.
Turkle praises the development of AI robots and even gives them grandiose healing power, and
the ability to “connect” on a mental and to some extent spiritual level with the humans they
encounter. Turkle goes so far as to suggest the discontinued use of the robots in one particular
nursing home was caused by the “partiality” of the robot and its user over the nurses of the
home. While I believe there are some definite benefits to the use of robots in any and all
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situations, the idea of robots as preferential to a human connection seems to be over exploited in
these 3 chapters.
Chapters 7-10
Thinking about life with robots and how much people are connected to their technology
was quite eye opening. Although many people cannot fathom life without their phones this day
and age, it is amazing to think about how robots may replace pets, maids, and nurses in the not so
far off future. Personally, I could not see myself getting acclimated to life with a robot as a
friend. However, when Turkle spoke of the connectedness people feel with their phones, I almost
immediately was able to relate. My friends and I have a messaging group that we have
continuously chatted in from morning (5am on a work day) tonight (as late as 2am some nights).
This is how we stay connected. These are my friends from high school and college whom I could
not imagine not talking to everyday…through the chat. Some of my friends are not even in my
phone‟s call log, yet we chat in that group day in and day out. When one person is out of touch
with “The Group,” for more than a few hours, we may eventually start to call, just in case, to see
where they have been. I feel that Turkle was very accurate in the way she analyzed the behaviors
of those consumed with technology today. I do feel that a few of her statements were more in
line with the Digital Immigrant point of view than a Digital Native who may find her opinions to
Chapters 11-14
In these chapters the author goes to great length to talk about internet addiction. In the
reduction and betrayal chapter, many people are playing Virtual Games which helps them escape
from reality. If they do it in moderation and still stay in touch with reality I think it‟s a good
thing because it has helped some people come out of their shell and be themselves. When
simulation games take over people‟s lives and their meaningful relationships, it becomes a
serious problem. In the anxiety chapter, I agree with the author‟s point of view. Technology does
help people stay connected for example Skype. My family lives in Albania and I use Skype all
the time to stay in touch with them. I love it because it‟s free and it feels like I am there because I
can see them. I like Facebook also to a certain extend. If it‟s used in moderation it‟s healthy but
if you spend more than half of your day trying to please people and be someone else it becomes
unhealthy. As far as the nostalgia chapter, I feel like the disappearance of letters it‟s not a good
thing. Just like Turkle mentioned, when you receive a personal letter from a loved one, it makes
you feel more special than when you read a post on Facebook that everyone can see.
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REFERENCES
Behr, R.(2011, January 29). Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less
from Each Other-Review. Retrieved from
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2011/jan/30/alone-together-sherry-turkle-review
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/23/books/review/Lehrer-t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
Stadermann, A. L. (2011, September 18). Book Review on Sherry Turkle: Alone Together.
review-on-sherry-turkle-alone-together/
Turkle, S. (2011). Alone together: Why we expect more from technology and less from each
other. New York: Basic Books.
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/01/