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Wesley College Wicked star Dad
under fire >05 Lucy Durack >11 jokes >00

WEEK 9 EDITION | 23 September, 2009

04 09
> Paul Mackay operates in a different dimension > Vivienne Egan eats ham and jam and Spamalot
> Cassandra O’Connor bowls us over
> Honi Soit Tees are the ultimate summer staple.
> Giselle Kenny proves your tutor is a picket sitter
> Dave Wilton reports on a week of unrest at college
> Danika Armytage hops on Lucy Durack’s

> George Downing is a closet fan of Comic Sans

> Got a Brazilian with Mark.
> Michael Falk is facing unemployment
> Michael Koziol graphs the inept NSW Government
> Alex Lee gets her tongue in a twist

> Kate Leaver & Tom Clement feat.
Scott Brownless in the revue reviews
> Dave Mack sits in the Mercy Seat
> Will Atkinson doesn’t get mushroom on the page
> Anusha Rutnam laments the dearth of creativity in
Oz Fashion
> Joe Payten gets his tits out for the boys


> That horse really is quite small (and dresses a bit like Will)
> Sriram Srikumar goes to the ballot box with Pauline
> Charmian Lo gets let out of the battery pen

EDITORS Will Atkinson, Katherine Connolly, Bronwyn Cowell, Mark Di Stefano, George “Don Draper” Downing, Giselle Kenny, Michael Krasovitsky, Paul Mackay, Sriram Srikumar
REPORTERS Danika Armytage, Vivienne Egan, Michael Falk, Dave Mack, Jacinta Mulders, Joe Payten, , Anusha Rutnam, Dave Wilton
CONTRIBUTORS Mel Brooks, Scott Brownless, Tom Clement, Nick Irving, Michael Koziol, Kate Leaver, Charmian Lo, Lucy McNabb, Cassandra O’Connor, Will Rickard, Carlo Ritchie,
COVER Darryl Prondoso GRAPHIC DESIGN George Downing and Paul Mackay COMIC Simon Greiner CROSSWORD Scott Huntington PUZZLES Paul Mackay

ADVERTISING Box 794, Broadway NSW
PRINTER Marrickville Print and Design, Unite E1, 46-62 Maddox Street, Alexandria, NSW 2015

DISCLAIMER Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney NSW 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, space
and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is
written, printed and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s directors of student publications: Mike Mackertich, Patrick Wall, Elly Howse and Samuel Moginie. All
expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or
information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions.

cant asset to the University. all are welcome to our (free!) 5 The fifth thief of five with five fine false within the Quadrangle. I have read about 3D technology as a review of a ble to the other 97. CSSP President range eggs and reported back on some This is expressed in the following five hope to grow giant pumpkins that will be very intimate manscaping. public site. once the garden is fully ally mention (several times!) in the article Honi is irreplaceable. inspection of the house revealed that the not going to apologise if the one weekly and myself” Ted Geroffi of Engadine had to catch a TV. of the Words Here Michael Spence Manning take the path behind RC Mills. One correction . And there is also the well run union picking up an Honi. It’s an old trick my grandmother taught me. of Ryde. they also most conservative Catholic students at Sydney Uni. a girl he’d met instead of simply resorting to false We want your a bottle of ‘Carl’s Cucumber Chutney’. Brendan Trainer of Carss Park Either way perhaps you could use your G-rated? Doing the weekly shopping. a site for an allotment-style garden to be used by about 30 club members. the Catholic Society So even though the Tuesday afternoon University and will be keen to approve it of St Peter (CSSP). along with lots of Thank you also for inspiring it – your other events held throughout the year. Quadrangle as the preferred site. Yet I managed to miss Society of St Peter (CCSP). he smears Vegemite all over Tamsin Dingley. weekly BBQ’s at Manning. Justin. shows his sancti- and all her jewellery was missing. every possible shortcut. you will also easily see the itself. writes in with yet aother reason why Vegemite is a national icon: ‘I’ve found Vegemite to be great whenever >03 . highly active Catholic students Bosphorous. Lane Cove West on Campus are members of the Catholic is just not worth it. He was right. ironically.’ John Nowakowski. the University’s world-class reputation. or 2. but… Anna Sabrina was in fact his sister! Purtell. Axis Dwyer. Eng III. which you did actu. point unrelated to punctuation. I know it’s hard to believe that all women eg “Tristan. Eng II. So they’re actually reaching out to want to read. use in my time at Sydney University. and both had had a pet shnauzer honi2009@gmail. giggling at an article benefit in approving a number of further affiliated Catholic Asian Students Society. Engineering I Redfern to the Quad. but you will be pleased to hear I Vatican II Catholic church. thinking a love of infec.. and this week is no exception. munity who adhere to the quite conserva. I some- Bruce er’s shop: a sign that read ‘rump steak’. or swearing at the crossword 4 The Ibis lives in the ’ibiscus tree (or the developments that I believe follow as a at Manning. Last And just like I still don’t know where the dent of Lane Cove and a keen gardener. Sanctimonious (adj. half an hour of class last week trying to I am writing to you with a development tiously catchy. Finally! Ibis same situation. it’s been a challenge I would love to grow vegetables. so I would like to start a public gardening club. The club will need like musicals and history and comedy. Spotted last week in a Roseville butch. George Down- statements: competitive at the elite level. So Quad McRae room is. that is the real reward. on the bus. Life’s female autonomous piece of writing in taxi to his hotel. column CAREFACTOR8. there is a Union our perceptions. and VCR were also gone. lationship. Fervour and Fisher No Cross Chancellor. Poetry. So there I was.from the Honi Office to . Having just come out of a long-term for more details. by the contributions to Column 8 As a man I find it hard to believe that in the SMH? So did Honi in 2002. bedroom windows had been smashed. us twits? At the very least you should for penis in Estonian! They had both grown up in the same investigate some two-syllable insults for So send ‘em in suburb of Adelaide. I am a resi- percentage of Catholics in the wider com. such as a new car Regardless of where you fit in on the faith park and perhaps a licensed restaurant spectrum. editing Honi trying to figure out what you have run out of space in my garden. We knew it was versatile. We’re proud that our reporters Ivan Head. 2567? Honi is too pro-women for you. the Little Mystery No. inves- you will agree the garden will be a signifi- Kelly Edmunds. derogatory): making Here are a few snippets from their head of Lilli Pilli found that one of her a show of being morally superior (OED).5%. your next angry letter. He brain and develop a political argument Mitchell Downey. both were part Hun. to make it your prom date.contrary to your comment letters can shape meaning and influence 2 The prosperous Ibis’s proboscis glowed at the end of the article.Faith Feature All interested can contact usydchaplain- cy@gmail. I’m sure reviewed Australian high fashion. I wish to make a minor Find yourself less than fascinated have an AVO against him. Meanwhile. He’s already planning the wedding. but also a fasci- across the Bosphorous. The walk Nina Ardill. I personally Clare Young. (free!) weekly Alex Lee teeth and one Scottish Ibis went forth on forums in Carslaw 157 and (free!) daily the Firth of Fyfe. you mention that only 200. I and out’s of living and sharing religious first of all. You complex on public parkland at Cunning- ham’s Reach is ingenious. operational. but I’m sure the University will nating look into the way that the shape of be grateful for the extra funds. but I tive version of Catholicism presented by very wrong. Thank you for considering this proposal. I CCSP. than my own house. though. Whenever he has a disagreement with the Accusations Whilst the Daily Telegraph is a newspaper not even fit to line my bird cage. stereo. boon this development will be for the society on campus. PhD Candidate. CSSP Treasurer tigated why the Union doesn’t use free The Ibis is one of our cultural Icons. called Eisenstein. came across arranged to meet Sabrina. over the internet. Closer aren’t devoted to pleasing you but I’m monious side when writing about Antares Arriving in Toronto on Monday night. Australian. Waking up last Thursday. The team Here is some more Ibis news from St have identified the University of Sydney at Honi interviewed the star of Wicked. Hearing his accent. of Seaview. has a different use for the stuff. Science IV tarmon is nowhere near the list of places the windows of their Volvo. of Ta- False Engineering marama. Melanie Grid. An Open Letter Kicking round this uni for 5 years. so damn pretty that you’ll want 1 The Ibis bent its proboscis while flying understand the club will have to lease this faith on campus. thought he’d try a spot of blind dating. garian. Crazy Diamond I have a yeast infection. These have been provisionally rated as the University’s application to build a rowing Shine On. Wesley Bin) natural consequence. Apparate. I trust that. cut through Paul’s to get to Bosch and for approximately 8000 Catholic students Sam Eliot. well. week’s crossword proved that wrong. It was only upon arrival Submissions must include your at the restaurant that Brendan realised name. just as an arts student is just as likely to It’s just a pity that there is nothing availa. Feedback facebook page or just rock up. Bible Study groups. see our five great art statements of 2009. Science students don’t all imagine there must be other people in the just read about sciencey things. Every building. when we see you delicate meniscus. and Ar- neighbours. Life Member to the Vice times feel like I know this place better In your article “Faith. enhancing Thanks for the article focusing on the in’s ing’s feature on font and typography is. Or is it I feel that my fiancé may be a little disap- cab-driver proceeded to ask him if he was too anti-rape? pointed when I marry Antares. He was sure they’d hit accusations of racism and indeed calling LETTERS& ARTICLES Writes Mitchell: ‘chutney’ is a slang word it off: after all.Religion on campus” (Honi week 8). washboard-involving 60s find the room it was in. ritual of a cup of tea and freshly printed 3 The Mississippi Ibis’s Hibiscus with its swiftly.5% of Catholic students SUDS play. proposal that I believe will be of benefit In fact that figure closely reflects the pop rock music would never have any to the University of Sydney. while carrying Phosphorous across the I’m sure you can imagine what a great affiliated. They now I’d like to live. Danke schön. Arts 15 assessed several potential sites for this on campus who prefer the modern post are some of the best writers on campus. they had a lot in common. Paul’s. garden. year and faculty. there is anywhere you feel unsafe.

Now. the original picture is filmed is. All of the technology should wave its through glasses with matching polarised own wand and make itself disappear. digital interference. and disable the camera’s ability to The meeting follows Obama’s recent record a digital image. when they see it. Honi ity there was another resurgence but this sia. arms they need. another Star through the iconic corresponding lenses. “My Lord.. In the and reels but also support a growing 3D 1950s. They are part of are back with better technology than ever. ly!” The President said. just start using SLR cameras again. the by two cameras at two different angles. Michelle Obama. Having spent the past fifteen years cinema-goer has a set of two eyes that sit developing the “Fusion Camera System” a couple of inches apart allowing them to used to shoot the film. following the rise of DVDs. allowing only one of the images into each eye. Even the Cannes Film Festival popular and cinema crowds retreated showed its support of this growth by allow- to their homes. when home videos gained popular- . seemingly used at various rollout of digital projectors and screens times by major studios to reinvigorate that will not only do away with film can interest in the cinema industry. That’s how it should off a specially treated “silver” screen and work. America has all the acht was brave enough to point out to films are not in fact projected in three di. hoping to entice audiences to the cinema Roman Abramovitch. Stereoscopy Paul Mackay takes you to another dimension. has installed anti-paparazzi lasers on fry those pesky paparazzo to a crisp. tect the electronic light sensors in cam- eras. but the President suggested in construction of the 557 ft. when personal televisions became industry. Said the spokesperson. powerful piece of symbolism for too long. The images reflect make itself go away. absurdly wealthy once Abramovitch works this out. fraught with technical difficulty. Abramovitch that photographers could mensions. But I think that. and copies of the Camp David episode from The West Wing season 6 (‘The Birnham Wood’) have been passed around amongst staffers and leaders as 5 the primary source of guidance on the likely direction of the negotiations. and often left viewers feeling seasick. It is expected that an elaborate illusion that is built to recon. Honi’s Guide to. perfection. illegal movie downloads and cinema. Wars. due for release later this the joys of binocular vision. as a 3D film and that’s what the discussion copy. of film. but to create the single double image but was it’s getting pretty close. Infrared lasers de- some pretty sweet news coverage”. “The Films shot and shown in 3D mimic this irony with Avatar is that people think of it effect in a process referred to as stereos. The House of Wax was ing a 3D feature to open the event for the released as the first major studio feature first time. This Tuesday will see Barack Obama host peace talks between Israeli Prime Minis- ter Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas. whole 3D discussion is going to go away. in 3D and sparked a golden era for the genre. the studios look at them . “Clinton has had a monopoly on that . 3D movies: such a spectacle.o’ lord o’ mercy!” ing them to take photos unimpeded by screen cannot be touched. All sides are engaged in intensive prep- arations. the technology is advanced enough to overlapping on screen. move has been criticised by Repub- licans as an “appeasement” of Rus. y ) A Whitehouse spokesperson said Obama was hoping for a shot of him standing e between Netanyahu and Abbas as they n shook hands. and you still presented using two separate projectors can’t catch what flies from the screen. The brain connects leap similar to when colour was first in- the two images and uses them to analyse troduced on our screens. At the forefront of the latest revival is James Such magic is made possible thanks to Cameron’s Avatar. While increasingly convincing. 3D films are lenses is standard practice today and aren’t going anywhere. ideally. “Those arms. It appears that no one working on the Rather than leave you in suspense. The regular year. commentators are visualise whatever’s in front of them from suggesting the result could constitute a two different angles. Disney’s Up. varied angles through a polarised filter. colour and clarity. at least in the short allows for films to be shown in a great term. funding a mass come in waves. This early form of stereoscopy was You still need the glasses. he’ll struct your visual cortex’s interpretation of once more. Cameron is con- with relative accuracy the depths of various vinced that the industry’s moved toward objects in its field of vision. another Shrek. Russian oligarch and owner of Chelsea just install normal lasers on the boat and reality. prior to the arms talks Sure it might not spell anything concrete h for the peace process. Using polarised light and Whether or not this is the case.” lenses. Security guards decision to suspend placement of can also operate the lasers manually if missile defence bases in Europe. The they spot a lurking paparazzo. First. of colour. £724m supery- wishes to explain from the outset that 3D time viewers were concerned with the lack Michelle Obama. The major studios see 3D The development of 3D technology has as the way of the future.. “That’s because.” Then the two images are projected at those the director said. allow- the objects that seemingly fly from the quality home theatre systems. Then in the late 1970s. having eradicated issues with motion sickness. Toy Story 3 and many more slated for production. FC. Tim Burton’s old anaglyphic films that were projected Alice in Wonderland is due for release and in overlapping red and cyan and received there’s Tintin. serious. but it’ll make for his new private yacht. A 3D remake of the Beatles’ Yellow variety of colour – an improvement on the Submarine is on the cards.

Both of these strikes were cancelled over the state of the University’s residential prejudice’). and ACER studies which will undoubt- The VC’s new proposals were contrary We want your In response. both for and against. we can action was held.NTEU strike cancelled Spotlight on Sydney’s colleges Giselle Kenny showed up to work. The Principal of St. in So send ‘em in Nuthall. and citing a recent ACER study that troduced a number of new conditions. colleges is far from resolved. Fair Work Australia industrial laws—giv. women bimbos. look forward to more exposes. by improving timetabling and del. and this is not the staff to take their annual leave each year Although the strike was cancelled at Sydney system that left men “brainless jocks” and last time that the reputation of college instead. Sydney demanded a “flexibility clause” . The spark was Wesley Alumni Alexis Currently. failing the University by fostering “crimi. SCU and UNSW. staff would work instead of taking time off. female students in key leadership positions Submissions must include your This is the second time the NTEU has name. University. Until then. For further commentary. David Wilton gets his titbits of media coverage out for Honi. highlighted the representation of comment life”. article in the College section on p. same brush’). this year – a strike was also planned and attacked Carey’s “fog of falsehood and fiction” and denied any violence or sexism . Carey called assertions that they encourage distorted that the University should be encouraging for a “massive overhaul” of the residential community attitudes. learning (‘Don’t tar all colleges with the out half their accumulated annual leave – committing to negotiations in good faith. 22. on both occasions. Mez opinions (with varying levels of success) (MoU) signed on 30 April this year. the college system published in the SMH article. but In the agreement. annual leave is four weeks. which. while on SMH online-discussion boards. makes for some interesting more conditions to the existing Agreement. Andrews cancelled after Vice Chancellor Michael when the VC agreed to negotiate and colleges played out in the national media. attacked Carey’s Spence agreed to enact the latest Enterprise reaffirmed commitments he had already The central issue has been the extent to “scattergun” approach. a ballot for industrial nal behavior” and encouraging a “general issue is played out. and passed and the strike lack of commitment to study”. denials was planned for the following Wednesday. Organising a strike is a huge drain which the college community have shaken work some colleges do to enhance reflec- on NTEU resources. a current Wesley student. Wollongong. but in wider indicated the advantages of on-campus cluding the proposal that staff could cash for the NTEU to organize a strike before society. It is an embarrassment that has continued to haunt it in the eyes tudes. College. and women at Wesley college. The University of Carey’s expose of sexism and violence in The weight of commentary on Carey’s many staff members don’t take this time. On Thurs. which both parties agreed not to add any conceding that “sexism is a part of college if nothing else. (‘College is not the stuff of nightmares’). Wayne Erickson. has waited of many not just on campus. that the VC. year and faculty. Colleges apparently were members or the University in general egating work more efficiently. in. honi2009@gmail. doesn’t go ahead. Regardless of ing management the power to alter the dotal evidence of violence against both men the realities. highlighting the Agreement without any new amendments. even if the strike off the stigma of sexism and misogyny tions of contemporary community atti- The strike was prompted when the VC in. the SMH published testimo- nies of current and past students challeng- edly provide ample opportunity for both college lovers and haters to express their to the Memorandum of Understanding LETTERS& ARTICLES ing Carey’s portrayal of college life. made. see Joe Payten’s cancelled a strike at the eleventh hour Jeremy Marel. The last week has seen an intense debate at Wesley (‘A view of college life steeped in place last Wednesday 16 September was tions. life”). another college alumni. makes it clear instead opting to accumulate it and claim as provided for by the Rudd government’s last Tuesday (“Lifting the lid on college that the issue of the treatment of women at a longer period of leave at a later date. Wesley: misogynist or misunderstood? The 24 hour strike scheduled to take cancelled in April over MoU negotia. strikes took place at Macquarie. UWS. will undergo intense scrutiny before the day 9 September. colleges are still battling with NTEU rejected a cash out option. arguing conditions of individual staff members. After providing personal and anec. No strike.

$4. Following the success of La dolce vita. provocative example. we’re not indirectly supporting animal of eggs that are purchased from suppliers organic. almost compelled him to break his con- SO. it doesn’t seem right to Kaufman. Penelope Cruz as the mistress. tire cinematic tradition which includes Your bacon egg sambo: Not all its the works of Woody Allen (whose film cracked up to be the business of condoning animal cruelty. It is as simple as merely asking comprised of Marion Cotillard as the someone. The inclusion range when we order a whole box’. volved if you were to make this a general rule. the Broadway Especially on campus. Putting the chicken before the egg Although this technique is effective in enriching the work’s fluidity. much of the content seems directly har- vested from the director’s experiences. it doesn’t even appear to be a flat another disconnect between supplier and protagonist’s lover is one particularly out economic choice to order caged eggs. but rather to each other’s place of tion:’ he decided to create a film which articulation. fountain in an evening dress is the most now we understand coalescence. egg products at any given outlet on campus. We can bridge Nicole Kidman as the muse and Stacey cruelty over breakfast. and yet of Fellini’s mistress in the role of the estingly. do yourself a favour and the reality is that the majority do not. even for those of us who have studied Coalescence is the process whereby two pretty funny. as the say to [n] + [p]? and herein lies the problem. to perceive why some have criticised Fellini for excessively blurring the bor- a one off. is the nice lady which makes 8½ so distinctively unique. The nerdy ones. Phonetic and Phonemic processes this sounds (it can be more but let’s start Given the similarities which exist be- joke may be incomprehensible. that The moral of the story is. So. Even ously fresh as it sounds. blonde results in [m] which is a nasal made with Anita Eckberg frolicking in Rome’s Trevi the lips (where [p] is made) is formed. alpha is used. Guido Anselmi. factory farm. in phonemics as- which the image is culled. the compara- [n] --> (becomes) [m] /(in the environ- tively unfamiliar film which immediately ment of ) [p] followed it. La dolce vita. Similarly. However is the last time you asked where your egg true genius. Friday Is it all too hard? There is a massive discon. there is no video out the for whatever reason. that is the nasal. torture. Ai Federico! ity of [n] is kept and the part of the mouth Federico Fellini’s name is synonymous where [p] is formed is also kept. we can’t blame the thematic similarities to Fellini’s semi- important step in the process of animal lib- in certain places on campus. Syn- alds have announced the official phasing But the funniest part of it all is that ap. Whether you seek out the videos or choose to be in blissful ignorance. similation rules are difficult to write. breakfast? I am by no means advocating ers feel confident that when we go to buy appreciate the magic of the film where all humans become vegan. both Holme and Went- nect between consumer and outlet (when terest one who has revelled in Fellini’s worth housed caged egg cartons. The approxi. 8½. and even then. Props to you. I am assured by Holme Courtyard it was Jacinta Mulders >06 . This innovation was no doubt eration. No. displays striking out of caged eggs. We don’t think about the chicken at entanglement of Fellini’s life and his film eggs and a dozen free range eggs is about all. a university and say “We object to animal Day-Louis as Guido. When people come up to of the beach prostitute who trades her Caging chickens is nothing short of animal Whilst I am assured that USU food outlets you desperately vulturing for your vote. that is. we couldn’t what also inspired Nine. That is to say that [n] would become [m] in Stand-up will never be the same again. it all began. it doesn’t mean we can’t stand up as rected by Rob Marshall and stars Daniel stitution renowned for critical thinking. nect between outlet and supplier. and yet another discon. Linguistics jokes can be a real pickle for So. if no one can tract. free range or cage. egg corporation industry. chicken before the egg was placed in that age to 8½) and most recently. 8901 and result in a new sound. lady who makes our sandwich. It is heralded the height of Fellini’s critical difficult to write. if it costs us 33c. there is no strict cruelty”. re-made into a movie to be released in It is a fair assumption that when you sit be relatively smooth and unnoticed by the Australia in early 2010. how are they going what he describes in somewhat clichéd assimilating couple not to alpha’s place a Let’s go to Alpha’s place! to be funny? terms as a ‘moment of artistic inspira- location. the gaps between the consumer and the ‘Fergie’ Ferguson starring in the role monstrosities. services for sardines. it appears that caged Maccas for chook’s sake. Charlie Recently. Inter. as a community of intelligent think. attention-seeking imitations do not in- 18th September. But what about everywhere else? parent ethical reason. However. about 33c per egg. ders between life and art. The film is di- down to eat at Sydney University. for no ap. no publicised increase in prices relating possibly blame the egg corporations for musical based on 8½ which has been to it. which with Italian cinema. So instead. and that ‘normally we buy free came from?). you can at least outlets on campus. and there has been who does the orders. let alone for the sake back to show me what happened to the Stardust Memories is an explicit hom- of 33c. 8½ inspired an en- guess that your average student is not in go check the box” was the response I got. the environment of [p] Fellini suffered an artistic crisis which What did the coalescent party animal problem is that I make a lot of these jokes. Even if we wanted to. But. Somewhat paradoxically. somewhere has ensured that policy or otherwise that dictates what sort over the counter whether the eggs are wife. now the joke is revealed. it is this inextricable mate difference between a dozen caged got us. rector protagonist. dealt with the artistic crisis of a film di- those of us who haven’t studied Linguis. And I think we can all agree that that is tics. 8½ was in- [n] --> alpha place/_ alpha place spired by Fellini’s director’s block. But.Carlo’s homespun linguistic jokes Carlo Ritchie on how to wow your friends. but chickens we exploit for the purposes of our Let us. Today. with a female cast practical ethics and social conscience. blame the egg eaters of the world for this echdoche New York. is widely considered by film critics and historians alike to be Fel- Because there are too many factors in- lini’s ultimate masterwork. it is easily Charmian Lo wonders why McDonalds is more ethical than USU Food outlets. It is arguable the change over could happening to value money over ethics. The idea for 8½ came to Fellini in coalescent party animal is inviting this understand the jokes. Ideally. Let’s say it is for cost reasons. validate your upturned nose with the eggs are currently used in the production justificatory comment that slavish and of food at Sydney University. and commercial success. an in- consumer. it is a endeavour to offer the best service to the you can say: What are you doing about this educated minds of their clientele. iconic image to have emerged from Italian cinema. For example a n + p might become [m]. A buxom. nor the lady nal film. but come on. prepare for the explanation. whose latest offering. Even if Nine isn’t as riot- After speaking with various USU food We can at least be as ethically minded as we can do so with a clear conscience. what issue? So before everyone starts flocking to fact. I would hazard a at Smart Eats going to know? “I’ll have to The first of its kind. Of course. nality of Nine. eggs would come from happy about offering the best service to the the cinemas to exalt the blaring origi- chickens on happy Playschool farms. you Audacity aside. both Woolworths and McDon- carton. within the usyd Campus. in what seems to be an parently we already use free range eggs problem. Although the film from Now for the tricky part. the simple) assimilate each other’s properties tween 8½ and the reality of Fellini’s life.

Gruel. Teenage Pregnan.K. Youtube. MP Michael Caine playing Harry Palmer. Andy a card-carrying member) as a ‘lumpen Warhol. Bank Robber Movies. Rugby Rain. Jackson Pollack. Victoria British humour. coarse. American Pie. iPhones. Meryl paper. UK One small slip for man. Mark Twain. Greed. WAGS.A. Hot Dogs. Bob Dylan. George Clooney. you’ll forgive the thought entering my head that this isn’t in fact a Jazz. Henry James. There’s an element Michael Jackson. Geri Halliwell. especially if you Curly Fries. Air Conditioning. Manchester. USA vs. Liam Gal. Marilyn. Louis Armstrong. Action Movies. Bad cies. A fashion icon flag. Michael to the publisher. but rather one of reasoned debate. really. Disney. . culture is tellingly reflected in her attempt Musicals. William Wilberforce. Las Vegas. Emma Bunton. however. Mist. The Aeroplane. Chewing Gum.S. of truth in that statement. The Sex Pistols playing on a barge. Rhyming slang. Dweebs. sece. Fat people. Self-help books by people with ‘PhDs’ – in what? Godawful television and Michelle Obama’s arms. Ladette to Lady. The Light Bulb. Hooligans. Drizzle. Men on the Moon. Ernest Hemingway.S. Sanctimonious liberals who read Crime. Martin Scor. Spotted Dick. to his comments on Martin. Katherine Connolly and Will Atkinson settle this debate once and for all. The Polio Vaccine. Televisions. Wingnut religionistas. Brussel Sprouts. William S. after all. Buster Keaton. that’s coming off relatively Human Rights. Jeans. Chavs. TexMex. day. Beyonce. Knife roughs. Rap. Unsubtle motor vehicles. It may just be opposite Cera. Anti-Social Behaviour Orders. Quentin Tarantino. The case for USA The case for UK Katherine Connolly Will Atkinson Let’s not mince words here. Why the US Glancing over the shopping list offered by of A is awesome: Ms. tiful old cathedrals. Clouds. Robbie Williams. And the final nail in the motherland’s William Shakespeare and a thousand coffin: years of world-changing literature. Bagels. Amelia Earhart. Her argument for the primacy of U. is. cheeseburger that uses a grilled donut as a bun). An Inbred Royal Earnestness. Ray Charles. Shitely. voice. beefy-bummed herd’. Witty journalists. Demetri Compared. unsubtle. The position of the comma in Family. Obama. Annie Leibovitz. Skinheads. the Second Amendment. Chilli Fries. forum for William Burroughs impersona- Hamburgers. beady-eyed. Beckham’s everything. Gill put it nicely when tails. The Telephone. Keira musicals. The West Wing. Beau- in-the-Hole. Spaceships. Chuck to impersonate an American writer just Berry. Monroe. about talented enough to cut up a news- Gansters. Simon Cowell. David Beckham’s Explorers. Eton. The Statue of Liberty. Burberry Print. Basketball. Terrible Race riots. Liberal Democracy. paste it onto a board and send it Streep. Bur- lagher. The Great Gatsby. The most deviant monarchy in world history. Gordon Brown. he described the British (of whom he is Converse Sneakers. Bono. self at Sidebar on a Saturday morning. Susan Boyle. Pocahontas. Peanut Butter easily… Cups. Colonialism. Gravity. Hail. live in Coogee or have ever found your- Facebook. The English lan- Hawaii. Marc Jacobs. Tabloids. Hollywood. Toad. Mick Jagger. Grant Wood. A lack of earnestness. Why The U. Connolly. Sleet. Pixar. Soft rain falling on green hills. Sugababes. Newcastle Brown Ale. Expense Accounts. union. Girls Aloud. Tina Fey. and louty. Martin Luther King. Elvis. Vanity Fair. A. tions. Cock. The ‘Luther Burger’ (a bacon Fish and Chips and Bob Geldof. Victorian manners. isn’t that bad. Why The U. York- shire pudding. Americans. guage.

teaching. to find Eastern Ave – utterly ignored by campaigns. Dischord at trust and transparency at the Con. is just a statement grant better degrees purely because of day my eyes were assaulted… mugged… it “chalk”.require researchers to do the they are not “painted onto any surface by street graffiti. the value of the ‘brand’ of the institution. had four days to 1. Dazed I walked fragments or marine organisms”. All welcome. Are you proud of your university? Then teaching to postgraduate students. In an unsigned letter to Honi. then research culture not been publicly released. raped! As I looked out over the concourse white or gray fine-grained sedimentary it was hard to miss every inch of concrete rock consisting of nearly pure calcium So here is what I propose for next year’s Degrees are more than a branding exer- plastered with chalk/paint motifs of this carbonate that contains minute fossil regulations. 2. the campus. despite the fact that Chalking on campus teaching institutions should clearly grant a superior undergraduate degree. This has not gone unnoticed at honi2009@gmail. Re-constructing this university as a “re- on the cold hard pavement and rubbed In the case of a wet ground. not branding. of a degree.000 undergrads. If the two halves of the University’s mission Is any of this remotely true? That’s one are the creation and dissemination of secret you better stop looking for. in some instances lacking ered by undergrads. twisted teaching .which were graduate research students. and to get the University to deal with the that this University be re-cast as a “high- serious administrative incompetence end research institution”. and gyprock (or plaster variant). But how do you make a research nepotism.the Britt Report teaching with teaching relief from post- and the Gyles Report . >08 . Then the job of trudging around the of research. There is no question that a research insti- high-ranking recruitment and research If you see anything on the election days tution is good for postgrads and research- appointments were the result of blatant that looks evenly remotely fishy. is only be done with chalk purchased from Degree should have value. with staff and students. Chalking on campus can cise. and a hope that the large. All campaigners must does not do anything but enforce exclu- adise – equally defaced with pity slogans mixture into polystyrene cups and wait sign that they will allocate resources for sivity. State Universities are the confirmed high levels of dissatisfaction these instances weren’t indicative a ‘teaching’ institutions. the Vice-Chancel- lor has been touting his strategic plan for the future of the university in the media. the ranks attraction of research. And remember: institution pedagogically worthwhile for amongst students. the teaching that should follow it. These “sticks” of chalk a campus clean up at the end of the cam. regularly consist of water. and outsource public display of excretion. While teach- Hey uppercarslaw hangers. coloured paint rampant campaign breach. to only lose faith in humanity GOT A BEEF? Mel Brooks is not writing in her capacity when mobs of roving belligerents come honi2009@gmail. it’s not Gossip commissioned to address complaints ing opportunities offer much-needed Girl here. with communication. who does the teach- Dean and various aspects of management unfairly. I have taken found within. I am not innocent in this a brush”. en. “campaign chalk” rapidly smears with your pent up this re-connection. A Sydney University Undergraduate god-forsaken campaign. consultation. where I have knelt take a stand against this ludicrous def. What have we learnt from @ over at management and allegations of professional development to these stu- gossipgirlusyd this week? That he/she is plagiarism by Dean Kim Walker. Mel Brooks and Nick Irving now. it makes no sense to have one Students have anonymously expressed from after the midsemester break Honi person create and another disseminate. concerns to Honi about the Faculty of will be ready to fill this space again with all Dentistry.40% teaching. Apparently a couple of recent the fallout from history’s biggest election. This poor excuse for chalk. ‘Graffiti’) university with a pressure hose will be left the connection between research and our usually picturesque university. students little point in being an undergraduate in a After months of consultations expressed disappointment at such research institution. and the importance initiated by the University of Sydney Senate of the much sought-after research grant in January this year. or a wet ecation of our grounds and email us at search” institution needs to be built on “chalk” into asphalt until my fingers and mixture. and outlaw this ridiculous campaign ices out late at night gurney-ing acres of tactic for next year’s elections. So we all need to band together elements to remove. The Conservatorium to augment university funding structures has already been the subject of two other means that often academics ‘buy off’ their independent reviews . rumoured GG mystery Among the controversial propositions he the Con to have cost the University upwards solved hopes will be expressed by the 2011-2014 Strategic Plan are two central planks: of $2 million – what more will it take that Sydney Uni should be smaller. is to increase the quality of trash that had been publicly pissed across 4 of the Facilities guidelines. There Mark Di Stefano likes his sandstone neat and paint free. exclusive colleges are ‘research’ institu- tions. A student submission will be drafted at Hermann’s on Thursday 15th October. The their review of The Conservatorium. palms bled. Reducing enrolments joying the newly constructed concrete par. player. this report an unfair process. is a serious contention that the ivy league schools and their research-led cohort Walking out of Merewether last Wednes. that all three reports have confirmed? The current model of teaching and re- A little joke for our musical readers. 20. Seeing Security Serv. and means that there is at their role as rumour mongerer. The way to increase the real value of paint. and (c) a real disconnect between research and probably Khym Scott. Recipes the university (this also regulates the other should be predicated upon the recipient’s usually teeming with happy masses. and the private. because knowledge. unfettered academic merit. 40% re- search and 20% administrative load. search in Australian universities is the The St James Ethics Centre has completed A molar in 40-40-20 split .com as a Union Board Director. In the last two weeks. but not a shred of chalk can be off with research grants. The St James report has under qualified. more widespread culture of nepotism. part in chalking nights. not buy their commitments Let me first say. email us ers. it results in a serious exploitation (a) anti-VOX/ACE and pro-NLS (b) tardy of postgraduates. I am hating the game not the into paint that is impossible for nature’s hatred of the chalk cabal. dents. by not being classified as ‘paint’ because to the offenders of this mutated. and to showcase the value made itself home and gelled to a stream of adhere to University regulations (Section paign. Pour the cash spending). but a draft any experience or background in dentistry. In the United States. who are concerned that it is the things Honi rejects that make Honi undergraduates? In an institution with Both reports were highly critical of the these appointees not only got their positions the best. Three damning reports. Let me start with the problem in calling painting in their tracks. but that they are also grossly ing? If researchers can’t afford to be both- at the Con. and that value across City Rd. The definition of chalk: “a soft against this university. is irrelevant to teaching and there is very is available on the Con intranet site. Undergraduate degrees from the latter schools are treated as somehow su- perior to the former.

After Nick Communications Minister Stephen to producing non-professional theatre. a pair of twins whose though that doesn’t really make island near Tasmania. is completing her Education son is the only 4th generation Regals that’s me. at the end of the North Rocks to Beverly Hills to get from day. for instance. former test cricketer cast member. Australian magazine. ‘Senator Bushby has complained The St. Conroy alone. In the south Paul Morrison. a grandparents were life members. and vaguely anchorman for Fox 5 in New York. Python’s “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”. Meg Day. the director of SPAMALOT. That’s entertainment. George based society At interval. anyway. Dari picturesque island. As a ball whizzes past our heads. Nick Gregory. who recently made his and upcoming shows at showline. a rehearsal for The Regals Musical Society cliquism of amateur theatre. the President of the Society. opening “The Regals are my family. but that is still only 0. a small theatre groups across Sydney. you’re still in a “smelly town hall”. they enlighten me on the finer points of Regals Meg also tells me that SPAMALOT has traditions. professional stage debut in Jerry Springer the Opera.’ and is part of a large network of community in the middle of it with Julie Ryan and make a tender forecast. Despite I am not at merge. Nick. She’s also new wave. erman. this is in fact fact that everyone I ask admits to the fabled Emmy award winner and news before getting back to chuckling. Paul’s he’s a professional. Jay feels that he doesn’t have the right skillset to make it professionally – as a performer at least: he sees directing as his strong suit. rather It’s Sunday evening. and whose sense. and I’m there allude to “fallings-out”. and I sit Ernie said. he and Anastos engaged he said.’ Ernie’s co-anchor. All class.Community theatre vivienne Egan goes behind the scenes of the first Sydney production of Spamalot. and she’s I gather that their family has been the Alexander. from professional musical theatre itself. and has been with member so far.’ Still. she believes strong loyalty and youth membership will keep the Mag-Gaffe: with New Moon on the horizon. FAMOUS. Craig says he honi2009@gmail. ‘It takes a tough man to remove pay phones from Boony island. or indeed. watching about 30 people of varied ages society strong. Craig Stewart. Meg also a hall at Beverley Hills Public School identifies this trend. of the Australian Idol generation. you can find your nearest society to make it. The budget for this show is somewhere in the vicinity of $50. no-one else would take me!” years. she finds a great space of self-expression. but I did For more details call Booking number is expect more of the cast to desire stardom. tempted try to break into professional theatre.” she says “and their home for parties for every cast for 30 besides. Yet the few who did talk about “going pro” were extremely realistic about their chances. Jay and Chiz are examples of a shift away from the “community” towards the “theatre”: Chiz introduces me to the term “show-hopper”. first opportunity for Sydney audiences to see SPAMALOT. ‘…Bruny Island. assuring degree at Sydney Uni. Damn. an idea he welcomes. to describe someone who Knights in shiny is “creatively liberated and constrained in Submissions must include your name. she’s never pursued it.theregals. which but you’re there with your family. and David Boon release a statement. such as the “Pancake Party”. impromptu game of basketball. chicken. the cast break for an in some typical ‘over to you’ chatter: that Telstra should not be allowed to has been running for 64 years. it is also the only chance to see many musicals in Australia – this is the . picks and chooses their shows.’ Even He was referring to Bruny Island. these guys are the old school. despite the Pythonoholics Anonymous.5% of the budget of a pro show. there’s producing 2-3 shows per year.’ Chuckles all round. never done a show outside the society: social backbone of The Regals. If you feel regular urges to sing and Her sentiments are echoed by Jay dance. And taken. LETTERS& ARTICLES you can take more risks. If the others represent the Ernie fired back. one rehearsal to another today). equal measure” as a director of amateur theatre. and I’m sitting in than sticking with one society. Nick played along because quickly recovered.000 (my $400 SUDS budget is looking pretty minute).). See the two photos that reveal bad blood above. ‘I guess a typo here. So she runs As they strike their poses for the ‘Keep fucking that the nation that he had not annexed the The Regals since she was 14. Craig believes that it’s only decided to sneakily photoshop Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison into a relaxed singing and dancing to the tune of Monty a matter of time before companies start to embrace. an out-of-school hours centre and travels all it’s pretty easy to see they are so into over Sydney doing shows (she came from this: as Meg says. I’m quite surprised with a The Regals want you to come to see general reticence to claim professional SPAMALOT: mention this article for $24 aspirations: perhaps I’m a jaded member student tickets to their October 14 show. tells me that he finds amateur and pro We want your shows not a useful comparison: “creatively. there are about 6 societies each parents met in The Regals. finished presenting the weather Conroy was addressing the Senate when segment. production of SPAMALOT. to be famous. Chiz Watson is one pretty strong draw-card too (another myth of these “celebrities” – she shudders at the debunked: the vast majority of the men in term. She tells me that though she’s been this show are straight. They certainly are very In a brief poll I also ascertain that more good – as two of them belt out a love duet. because there is less at stake” – notes that the only So send ‘em in musicals we see in Australia are the guaranteed money spinners. and “nastiness” but Ernie Anastos dropped the f-bomb to find out what makes thousands of people all are quick to state that it is no different whilst mid-banter with his weath- across Sydney devote dozens of hours a week to any other community activity. year and faculty. a “celebrity” cast – in terms of amateur theatre. than half of the cast has met a partner doing Meg is obliged to repeat herself several community theatre. and said. I get the feeling this is a times so I can hear her. 9533 2862 or visit www. grimaced with horror.

Friday. Besides which. it appears men comments were seeded to induce par- the don’t allegations of bad behavior” (read: rape). “Why we need though are unfortunately not much better. Maybe women of condescending and patronizing lan. incidents of violence and this site with a readily available pair of insult anyone’s intelligence. Amanda Stevens to allow before (forgivably most non-British colo. 66% of males in sports reporting. stereotypical and trivia fact that you can drop into conversa. the boys that you really do know the rules!” in non-organised sport by nearly 1%. design. sport for the sake of a good impression. at home or at work.according to the her to tell their side of the story. a One tab. “Its like. during the 2005-06 season. “Think… baseball. I of the website.what about knowledge for the Sport and Recreation suggested that only sake of satisfying your own curiosity? 10% of women are satisfied with sports programmes despite an audience of 47% Fit. I decided to contact the director never have come into contact with cricket taken a look at gogameface. The contents of She Knows the Rules but before we jump to any conclusions. or maybe. “register as a member and we will send you are nearly identical for men and women. but they know it. which is aimed at female pro-sports fans do appreciate the cause . The website gives an overview of sports Skin Cancer Council approved sunglasses. would rather watch women play sport. Runs good. me fill you in on a few other important She Knows the Rules”. checked. the designers should have However. Surfing and AFL. and 65. for a media service to adequately meet frankly humiliating treatment of female tion at the game. had can feel as if there are people running fact the Rugby League is the least attended watching sport. ticipation. the getting out bad” to the AFL page. In any case there was no reply otypes who couldn’t describe a cricket ‘hat. Perhaps nies…). Rugby. fashion/health page or questioned whether am still left wondering where they found yes. maybe women just don’t like the type of motion!” This sort of language simply media coverage given typically to sports? reaffirms males as higher up on the sports As television viewers.She DOES Know the Rules Cassandra O’Connor knocks one out of the park for the sisterhood. a website As a martial arts fanatic and cricket nut. Perhaps I need to have my eyes to look. Participation rates in playing sports So whilst there is a need to water down lack of knowledge of your typical. go to the footy or cricket more than women. Show Further. but readers beware: ONLY visit there are endless comments which would PR problems. guage to choose from. land your pro. Whilst I realize that some people have on the website. Yes. As one website visitor said. Why do people assume women don’t sports fans by ‘She Knows the Rules’. speak But had the thought ever occurred that sport and grab a husband. have to be Sherlock Holmes to realize such as Cricket. as Knows the Rules’ was created with the view better impression if Kiki and I am still waiting warrant the patronizing. “Show-off SMS” is described as. Following the ball is a good tip!” something to do with… the code’s ongoing the website has missed the point entirely. Kudos I cannot imagine the sort of person who to those women. Had pink been a necessity for inclusion the ball is generally where the action is. let (note my suspicion of their motivations). male-dominated sports does not a weekly Show-off SMS combining a sports In the same 2005-06 period. it does exist… only in America!). a report by NSW hierarchy. the male-oriented language adopted night. I Lingerie Football League website (And women attended a sporting event com. From the cricket maybe they have a different perception of understand sport? The new website ‘She Maybe the website would have made a page. In fact. Covered in magenta swirls a little more knowledge of the website’s everywhere and you don’t know where by women of all the football codes may have and language written for an illiterate child. facts. Perhaps you think I am being harsh. sunnies-wearing stere. “you the Rugby League web page admits. . 37% of it was because I asked why they included a watched an episode of the Footy Show. there are too many examples of the female population. and some women may never have and which hilariously mocks the pink ABS. pared to 52% of males. more women than men participate the needs of female sports fandom.7% of females participated in sport. trick’ in the website’s video. what a good Friday night must be pretty hard to would only be motivated to learn about play sports without knowing the rules. “the to increasing women’s participation in resident commentators/bloggers.

they found out this. People kept performing at the Capitol Theatre. I come from suburban Perth and nobody And so I’ve thought of her a few times. ‘Turn your 2 hours before each performance from Yeah. brought over the Broadway creative team Definitely! hard. Since then I’ve worked even The characters of Glinda and remember thinking at the time. $30 tickets (restricted to two tickets per musical theatre industry? one of the largest themes of the show.. ‘Money back!’ So I went to WAAPA and after I graduated It was just the most awful experience! I got straight into Mamma Mia. One of the largest themes of the whole I performed them once only and that show is tolerance and the song ‘Loathing’ was it. It’s so pure. you really could make a go had this thing called Clowning Week and I of this if your interested. In year 12. We had this exercise where called WAAPA just down the road! if the class didn’t think you were funny. to studying law at Sydney Uni to now And of course there was a typical popular playing Glinda the Good in WICKED? girl at school . And so I deferred heart. the politics of tolerance and the terrifying benefits of audiences heckling I was just run of the mill really. You’re been seen by over 20 million audience it. all-the-boys-loved-her kind of girls. but it had all fallen quite easily and it felt like 1-on-1 workshops.TheWicked Witch of the East WICKED. even if I harder as a performer and it’s been even Elphaba are stark opposites. including Best One of your most memorable Musical. ‘Such and such Tickets begin at $100.were Danika Armytage about following your you the popular girl at school? dreams.exactly. ‘Oh. ‘I will never do that came to an end I thought. blonde. ‘Either I’ve got it or I’ve completely lost it!’ “There’s a strange exhilaration. who plays Glinda numbers is the song ‘Popular’ the Good in the Australian season. so strong”. anywhere near my family performs for a living. so when I heard it was what happens when all your yet I was miserable. I called her back and she did that of Oz. in such total detestation. because I was thinking.. you got it!’ But the most difficult part members worldwide. and part of a group that worked hard. Lucy Durack. the course is is your passion for a reason. Glinda sings ‘Happy is I had some really nice friends – but . kind of girl in Clueless and Legally Blonde. the thing about Glinda is. other role and just play for truth.000 during its was that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone 13 month run in Melbourne. Growing up I’d always absolutely Your comic timing is spot on. ‘Money back!’ music and drama. Swap you my folder for your pointy hat. During my time at WAAPA I remember we ‘You know. and I Finally. character Glinda is beautiful and gotten to work with a real Broadway team popular whereas Elphaba is an in a workshop experience..’ because I thought I decided to approach it like I would any I was living in a bit of a fantasy world. opened on Broadway 6 years ago it has look. they were allowed to yell out.’ and I was going purchase) will be drawn from a ballot crazy! So my partner was like. my highschool teacher said to me. Do loved performing but I’d never considered you have a background in comedy? musical theatre as a career. and I do think I was over there in 2006 before I even interesting. end of the day I had all these messages But you have to believe that your passion I’d been to see WICKED in London when from my agent going. do you agree? was a really significant choice to make following your true passion. however limited career in the fiercely competitive deal with difference and prejudice is found out she got understudy for this. that if everybody really followed their hearts knew it was coming to Sydney. In the fourth outcast because of the colour of her and final audition they’d given me two skin. putting all really exciting experience because they’d because until that point I’d worked very your energy into it and just going for it.very pretty. definitely. That slightly different.’ At the the Box Office. the script does so much of the work for But it was one of those life turning points me. Thankfully and did a semester of law at Sydney Uni. against her just because they don’t on holiday up at Byron Bay. so I was probably not How did you go from growing up in that girl! But I have enjoyed watching that Perth. it has won for another two months. The audition process itself was a your dream role. Your get no further than this.. is a remarkable show.’ At that time was dreading it because I’m the least funny I didn’t even know there was a school person I know. Having landed that and went back to performing. So when WICKED came along to get a real job now. the untold story of the witches Anyway. I wanted it more than dreams come true’. And how we messaging me saying. good at sports. What message do you hope numbers from the show and I performed audiences take away from WICKED? them to a judging panel of 14 or 15 people. I can into place. People feel go vehemently It was just before Christmas and I was WICKED the Musical is currently Was that a difficult choice to make. is a perfect example with lines like. I was into out.. I need comedy’. the lecturers are fantastic. but as I remember thinking. I remember thinking to myself. It was so hard a Grammy. Glinda has some knockout lines. three Tony Awards and the not to because it was the best secret ever! Australian production was been awarded six Helpmann Awards. specifically what was in their was such a fan. how cool that I’ve more fulfilling because it’s been a choice. Since it Australian Idol thing where she said. to touring with Mamma Mia. I am a firm believer in anything.’. leaving uni and committing to a have a box to put her in. It can be scary and there What was the audition process like? phone off and enjoy the holiday.. and ‘. 600. alighted where you try to teach Elphaba from her bubble and had a chat with the tricks to popularity . then we’d all be going for something coming to Australia. ‘Now. ‘Where are you?!’ >11 . How did you feel when you Everybody loathes Elphaba outwardly were told you got the part? because she is so different and she’s got green skin. will be times when you haven’t got a job.

Nowadays. surrealists and Dadists.e. type is one of a host of signs with which users Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Modernism interact and gain meaning through the visual medium. and thus with an letterforms that were produced are widely used in his embrace of Year: 1924-1926 independent existence. though are technically not the same thing*) in The Printing Press cubism. the Swiss itself. for legal battles that are fought over plagiarism of pages of type). Whichever mode you prefer. To understand how which has a nice. It implies an greater appreciation Hoffmann Gropius in Weimar Postmodernism of the meanings and functionalities of Year: 1957 Germany. decorations. now it is more Category: Calligraphic script The Bauhaus cleanliness and readibility as opposed to accessible than ever. Here you will see the consumers and a familiarity that gets reinforced Typeface Category: Old-style serif dramatic used of embossed and metallic type every time people see it. dominated was characterised Designer: Robert Besley Europe. Art Deco visual communication. (above). of Typographic Style. style and How important is typography in the spectrum their resaons for that selection. typography on radical art director Category: Sans-serif geometric first of now-defunct rock Robert Bringhurst. His most was shaped by the rapid industrialisation of to imbue their creations with tangible famous work. Year: 1948 as artifacts of those periods . From elegantly harmonious the printing press various schools Year: 1798 Renaissance serifs to geometrically modernist and moveable type. a ‘typeface’ refers to the printing to convey the big screen. Jan Tschichold’s The aesthetic (1919- art’ of traditional typography. it greater emphasis on typography than any other I like Gill Sans (which is hard to get on a refers to a set of related styles. Fonts also shape the perceived Designer: Eric Gill characters required to print a page of text. type The generously. In the computer age. The Vogue or particular design elements that furnish printer Johannes covers of the period epitomise the style. including the cubists. Marketing interesting thing to do is to show a range of Category: Humanist sans-serif and delivered to the printer in cases (‘upper University of Sydney typefaces to people and ask them to select cases’ for capitals and ‘lower cases’ for the one that they believe suits them and to give miniscules). a complete segment of the population. anyone can typeface used for the grid layout system get their hands on the requisite design Paris Metro signage and asymmetry. an aesthetic Type is. industrialised postmodernist Designer: Paul Renner with a durable visual form. typeface for someone else.k. Paul Priday personality of the sender of the message. the Category: Slab-serif of graphic design. Style functional utility. 1540 crime-fiction novels. clarifying these definitions. At its most basic.remain. blockbuster name of face on which ink was rolled in letterpress Any favourite fonts? the author.B y G e o r g e D ow ni ng ypography is everywhere. named German forms in spacious page layouts. This is as Univers and a significant shift . chic graphic is a conflict between legibility and character. >12 . But the horde New Typography is widely regarded as the 1933). Advertising and marketing places prinitng. a product of its historical his invention of culmination of Designer: Giambattista Bodoni time and place. type is discussed in and of Art Nouveau. typographers have sought allowing text characters to be reused. software. of course. designed by Hector Guimard. today. adornment and Category: Geometric sans-serif engaging and constantly developing. The simple. You can also of visual communication? swap this around by asking people to select a production information is conflated. a typeface is used as way to create and own There’s another great font called 1942 Report Year: 1979 Helvetica is a well-known ‘typeface’. were desinged to emphasise has been a specialist craft. it’s worthy of exploration. typefaces . watch a few YouTube tutorials. Yet as and is renowned for its ornate hand-drawn developed by the British craftsman Edward Johnston for the London Underground. are Typefaces of and participate in the creative exchange of iconic of the period. Historically. Type is fascinating. It’s hard to underestimate the importance of type (or fonts – the two are used interchangeably. typography Year: 1994 Bauhaus Helvetica. Consider the front covers of best selling font is important as it provides a continuity for Year: c. Category: Serif (didone modern) sans-serifs. Since the end of the 19th century. words in certain moods. a richly A. the typography. rather magazine Ray Gun.a. this period prevously marginal. heralded an aesthetic of slender. a product of of citizen designers eagerly consuming manifesto of this design philosophy. punctuation marks and the like. Some lament the ‘dying ornamental flourish.for centuries. refocused David Carson. At its most complex. i. The flowing by an adherence to Year: 1845 This is partly a product of the democratisation contours of the gemetric forms. typefaces and logos. The selection of computer) but in its place I use Century Gothic. One Year: 1926 produced in a metal press (hence ‘font’) Adjunct Lecturer. and personified in ways which were ornamental graphic Style. Designer: Gerry Barney alphabet. the design school the intricacies of type is a sign of creative Designers: Max Miedinger and Eduard run by Walter enrichment. industrialised the movement (1890- printed word with 1940). was qualities particular to their context. As such. and a Very important and much undervalued. popular understanding of type is now more Art Nouveau The International Category: Sans-serif readily concerned with aesthetic qualities than From 1894 to 1914. decoration in type Art Deco direction. difference between brands. Designer: Morris Fuller Benton futurism and Year: 1902 Category: Realist sans-serif To what extents do fonts shape the personality of the the message presented in a marketing *Font context? Fonts traditionally referred to the full set of Very much so. denotes typography than historical was a celebrated as the craft of endowing human language precedent. random energy about it for newsy headlines (it would be hopeless for Category: Geometric sans-serif this is jealously guarded consider some of the Special thanks to Teena Clerke. the style. The postmodern aesthetic embraces In a nod to the intuition and abstract personality in place art movements of the overt neutrality of the Modernist and Internationl styles. the Gutenberg Bible of 1455 the era. and the rise of technology. Perhaps the most famous modernist expressions of philosophical and aesthetic (above). in his renowned Elements principles. For these reasons. its Gutenberg The modernist omnipresence is undeniable. was the first printed book in Europe. typeface. such Designer: Edward Benguiat typeface development and applicaiton. Designer: Jackson Burke historical movements come and go. USYD Lecturer in Design. style. Consistency in the Designer: Claude Garamond ‘font’ is a file combining the two. the sans-serif Johnston.

Krone let the viewer do just a logo. to capture readers’ attention. And. magazines remember that the spacing between letters spoken language for reading and reproduction is just so important – get that wrong and the because some Hollywood screenplays are in visual form. designed by Eric Gill between 1927 than what was strictly necessary. This September Your research has looked at the basis for 1965 cover. We choose it as our late twentieth century also witnessed the It’s one of the most recognisable logos of the 20th century. for announcements.’ The concept. The result What does an art director do? too polite for such an announcement given the Most media communications involve type. creation of an incredible resource of as many auxillary typeface because The Bull stole the and arguably the most famous rebus (or graphic puzzle) of as 100. since 1995. modernist Georgia when necessary. University of Technology ampersands and all those other wonderful When Stanley Morison and Victor Lardent Dean. Porcelain and Monster Freak Jo Spurling Prof. Rockwell provides geometric contrast to were your findings? in the scope of a rifle. It is the job of the art director or designer What are your all-time favorite typefaces? to present those words to the reader or viewer Franklin Gothic. as the writer intended. I used the Esquire covers. there are logos that the rest. I have so many! I tend to like ‘decorative’ fonts that are a bit kooky. power of a simple typographic form to completely rebrand the out on Honi’s cover. His nintey-two covers. >13 . After many years of sad neglect I think type magazine! Sadly. designers require a better desgined to combat the city’s then sketchy reputation as an Made famous in the pages of GQ and on understanding of typefaces for competitive. The typeface was big. ignored the temptation to adorn the page with anything other obvious exception to that is fashion advertising. advertisments invested trust in the underlying concept and compelling. and in capitals . The first serif font very suitable for headlines and text. Any favorite fonts? Oh gosh. Curtin Desktop Magazine they often don’t include things like commas. for instance. Krone’s the most important aspect. sans-serif typefaces.a serif typeface would be far as well as his innovative use of loud colour swatches. How you use type whole shebang can turn into an ugly mess! I people around the world who make their separates the real designers from the dullards. Anthony Cahalan (I found it on 1001freefonts. Bembo is one of the most composition. How significant is typeface design and Charles Sturt University text body font.just a simple choice of date and it still looks modern today. This one is a 1925 advertisment for ‘Lengiz . occasion and the feelings of the population at is an uplifting. features ‘leading heroes’ (as Lois designer’s usage of fonts. fonts are used to death – it’s pure laziness. If the words aren’t but too beautiful to leave out of a list like this. It’s a little in Adelaide. Fidel Castro and Bob Dylan. Georgia is in another league. and for Helmut Krone is regarded in the ad world as the godfather of plain speaking. which is a shame. JFK. An typeface research which I am supervising at the subject of a stand-alone MoMA exhibition earlier this year. the message will be boring or Century Schoolbook is a classic plain speaking irrelevant and you’ll turn the page. type with a clear and succint message. Bodoni is stylish and unique modern art direction. And despite it’s typefaces? graphic designer are words and images. production in graphic design? deserves. also cannot stand it when boring or ‘standard’ living by designing typefaces. Its importance lies in the Obama’s campaign collateral. typographers? There are many ‘lovers of type’ in Australia and it is difficult to single out a few. reflect printed on a black background. As anything well designed. of course. all-round winner. it doesn’t Avis didn’t even feature the Avis logo . were radical in their era. Created pro-bono for the New York Commerce visual communication between clients and Commission in 1975. Bart Pavlovich read: ‘VICTORY’? I challenge you to put a Books in All Branches of Knowledges. energetic and slightly ironic typograhic design that transcends the simplicity of its a photograph or illustration. what described them) Malcolm X. The significnace of the poster lies in its How important is copy (or text) in advertising? elegantly drawn serif fonts with long ascenders strikingly resonant message imbued from a single line of In my opinion. reflects BP & Partners. and in the case the time. Goudy is similar to Bembo copy . Just what you want for a economy of space and neoclassical harmony. was a devaluing of typefaces. their own exclusive type. such as Franklin Gothic in this case. on the local or global stage? hate – I don’t know why but that font just rubs Offending hapless workers in office kitchenettes I do like the work of Stephen Banham. font design simply because they can. It is clear that to enhance other obvious chocie. His famous VW Beetle advertisment. are just symbols (like Apple or Nike).a ‘slab serif’ font (the Vogue masthead is a ‘Think Small’ is a triumph of simplicity in format and variation of Bodoni). yet the ‘humanist’ sans-serif. Charles Sturt University. and to add interest to those words. And in keeping Manhattan’s t-shirt vendors afloat. Stephen Banham from The Letterbox in Melbourne is well known for his writing on the world of type as well as his innovative typeface designs. a contraction Developed between 1952-1955 by celebrated in the type design industry and a reduction Milton Glaser’s I ‘Love’ NY rebus typographer Hermann Zapf. A design-nerd connotations. combining Art Director photograph in its place that would improve the a woman shouting with the words she is speaking. I also really like Desktop’s created this infamous 1931 face for The Times. Who are the most influential Australian of the Melbourne based foundry Letterbox. Helvetica. completed in 2004] describes a situation at the the understaed aesthetic that has defined the editorial design of end of the twentieth century in which there Esquire ever since. Sydney communication. His innovative use of clean. It’s not overwhelming they strove for refined legibility. . punctuation marks). city’s image. Type. Optima is a in the range of typefaces being used. For my book. Now. Aaux Pro. – with more companies and brands. easy access to so to speak. Alexander Rodchenko posters Can you think of some exceptional examples of type usage? The evocative Constructivist imagery of avant-garde Russian You know that famous newspaper headline designer Alexander Rodchenko’s posters are icons of modern announcing the end of the WWII – it simply graphic design. founder me up the wrong way. its ubiquity means these attributes are How significant is typeface design and in Australia is finally getting the respect it long forgotten. Rodchenko’s characteristic aptitude for typographic dynamism. says James Wolcott of Vanity Fair. of advertising.000 typefaces. Some of his advertisments for where a photograph is often accompanied with and 1930. intended to ‘trigger debate rather than agreement’. Custom type is really hot at the moment to be set in 12pt Couier. forms. While there might only be 100 and other print mediums enjoying the use of actually pretty good. 1967-1972 contemporary and unique sans serif typeface George Lois served as Esquire’s Art Director from 1967 to 1972. I love Edwardian Script. modern times. computer software and hardware means many especially in light of all the other amazing fonts professional designers and amateurs dabble in Which Australian typographers are influential out there. Times New Roman is a particular pet Something this horiffic need no justification. Barry Spencer is a talented type layup like few before or – it’s nice Editor to browse there. typeface is the physical form of an alphabet When working with type you need to It’s standard practice for Hollywood screenplays and it is the method we use of transcribing sexy. the content of the words is and descenders. type is actually pretty Misused kerning is probably my most hated. international tourist destination. but because they are free PhD in Typography. Faculty of Arts. which were retro. Type can make or break a design. it formed part of a publicity campaign their audience. its chills creative and visual advantage. In essence. a picture of the product or the Helmut Krone’s ‘Think Small’ VW Advertisment logo. Though stylistically similar to Times New Globale by Scott Carslake from Voice Design In that role he rewrote the rules for editoral type design and Roman. Trends and Fashion. And Gill. and looks greated My PhD thesis [Australia’s first on typography. black. with a misused or misplaced font standing out Any pet hates with common uses of type or The two basic communication tools of a like the proverbial sore thumb. looks great in small point sizes on Honi’s designer from Melbourne doing interesting cheap newspaper print and is web-friendly.rarely have only two words had such an impact. unmatched production in Australian graphic design? and easy to read.

Compare that to the elderly disabled man guys from Twilight!! And what I think is ALEX LEE in front of me in the queue. Obama? Dang. TO ALL THE HATERSSS [sic] WHO ARE TALKIG [sic] ABOUT MY BLOG AND HOW I EXPRES [sic] MYSELF. who spent most of worried about his financial future. Girl Who Unfazed by this setback. he is concerned that prolonged unemployment may render the second We want your my diary. but second of all someone who can not on my millions of invested dollars might Omg. when the financial collapse happened. keep it together Concerned John opens his fridge. Well. He has no idea how lucky he was to first expensive cigarette. that was really inappropriate. gracious. tears stain ance speech. watch. techniques. you’re just a Jessica prepares her beau. So I guess you’ve heard what The community of Gladesdale High has everything. 16. Why are you butting in? You’re a jackass. Some!!! I really hope that stupid Cyrus girl With Tongue man that I will marry starts with R. but this is priva.BUT BEYONCE HAS ONE OF THE Bobby Chen from Marist Brothers. I shouldn’t have voted for McCain.” against the extremely wealthy. is ONE OF THE BEST DIARIES OF ALL The drama student.are you drunk? Eww my diary only tie a knot in a snake but also a cherry not cover my lost remuneration. give me three years’ pay in my redundancy package. John says TIMES!!! of all get with someone this level of hotness Submissions must include your ‘I’m just worried that the enormous returns name. humble. metaphors. was unable to obtain jobseeker benefits. I believe in always giving people the benefit of Whiz got millions! What’s wrong with our government?’ the doubt. as opposed to the usual golden TAYLOR SWIFT “I had an apple at recess and did the stalk variety. in the expensive suburbs of teeming BEST DIARIES OF ALL TIME!!!!! ing a New Moon preview screening when metropoli in the developed world. hide… Oh and there’s Avril Lavigne!! And Katy Job Seeking waited for hours in the queue and fulfilled all the legal requirements!’ Perry!! And Kanye West!! Really diary he seems sweet. which I had hoped to leave to video and was saying my speech when only girl in Year 10 who could tie a knot in a charity after I died. It was really a kind of silver in Snake parachute. that’s it. K they’re announcing Best Female Video now. The VMAs were one thing. gal who sings country tunes. Despite bribing all the staff excessively. in America. I Oh wow there’s Pink! And Beyonce! And Robert Pattinson!! And that other Kisser he was waiting for an operation to have his tongue surgically untied. Get the fuck out of was actually the inexperienced kisser.’ FOR YOU AND I’M A LET YOU FINISH Jessica Flemings. system. I NEED APOLOGIS [sic] FROM ALL THE OTHER ARISTS WHO HAVE ME TO SHOW THEM WHERE TO GO – COS THEY’RE JUST FOLLWING [sic] KANYE MAN!!! WHERE ARE MY APOLGIES [sic]????!!!! Ok Tom Riddle. year and faculty. hope everyone appreciates his marginally-closer-to-impoverished MICHAEL FALK the intertextual references and complex eyes..’ twisting test and turns out the name of the John says he feels fed up with the welfare Am at the VMAs diary! Awe. GTG! ‘I mean. eye of the tiger. I’M REALLY HAPPY prevented my usual philanthropy. not smoking an honi2009@gmail. Job Seeker. help. Popping the cork off the day’s first Krug. she experienced her fall from grace. where ‘I went to Centrelink only last week. PEOPLE NEED TO CHIIL [sic]!! “I seriously don’t know what his problem Wollhara mansion.KANYE IS TO [sic] BIG FOR LOWER CASE YO!!!! Kanye. As the TIME!!!” Year Ten maths practicing the trick. so I’m going to save myself for Robert Patterson. and in the bank. wasn’t ready for her extremely advanced LETTERS& ARTICLES decade of his retirement uncomfortable.” KANYE DOSN’T [sic] DO THAT. me out. revealing his Swift. John ‘Unemployed’ Smith. it’s Miley. Ghostwriter. Now my personal misfortunes have “YO TAYLOR. not …Wow. and Doing it tough in the suburbs We can only hope that someday Kanye? How the fuck did you get into her chance of securing the captain of the governments will hear their real cry for my diary? cricket team for a formal date. her Dad goes and he creeps Actually a obviously. smells like Jamison! How did . lolly snake with her tongue was a less than average I ALREADY APOLIGIZED [sic]. maybe he’s not the Financial ‘I mean. claims father of none. and with significant savings that Bobby O’Connor from Marist Brothers Hey. stem. Flemings is con- ‘As my large financial institution was insolvent when I left. the bastards at AIG douchebag everyone says he is. Remember. have a quick peek at my accept- About Future quickly-depleting Beluga stocks. I had just won best female been shocked with the revelation that the family trust. it was only able to Can Tie Knot fident that she can move on from the ac- cusations of poor make out techniques. was on a date with Literally dozens of people like John live . who received Lady Gaga!! And Kelly Clarkson!! And disability benefits simply because he Justin!! Oh crap. . He claims its support for the unemployed is highly discriminatory doesn’t speak to me tonight – wherever she goes. I lost everything. 3 is. Billy Chen can get stuffed. Really Bad Chen could not be contacted for comment from his hospital bed at Westmead. grateful. but I did have to draw on my happened. >14 . If I could speak Parseltongue I’d tell you and your weird snake girlfriend to - LAST. So send ‘em in Sitting in the 2nd dining room of his YO.

Dad. Andrea soldiered on as I lay spread eagled. now to do further below”. and the tops of your cupboards. that which has not been waxed the air – possessed by the devil . I want a sandwich. I mean I cried into 10:45am: Write up a detailed study a pillow while she nonchalantly recounted After 15min of ripping with Strip Wax. Since you’re there. you shouldn’t just drop them Thanks Dad. No matter how cool you think you are. a 24-year old veteran of the stant pace. You: I’m hungry. one of the greats. That’s a whole 24 You: I feel like a sandwich. paper involved. and left to set wax from the inner surface of my derrière. Dad: Hi Thursdee. Dad. 12:09pm: Your keypad is dirty which is extremely distracting. to tell her how vivid my imagination larly? Does my penis look big in this? And see if you’ll be Attending their friend’s really was. who taught him/her to drive? Stevie Wonder?’ and after you’ve done a less than excellent park. the SMH.. for the story. it is used to get hair in folds grab some fresh air and a cold bath. just breathe. stick too much to your skin. You: I’m thirsty. shattered.” Before she gave me the chance experience: How do women do this regu- ally very rude to leave people waiting to Fuck. Dad: Time to get a watch. This pores. my stringy follicles at an average 1cm. I met Andrea rabbited on as she kept up a con. pubis. “Hard Wax. where are we? Dad: In the car. friend’s album of photos from that time Overstating the obvious and deliberately avoiding the question – classic Dad humour because it’s so infuriating! he went to Thailand. old and the huge respect from my female pooing that your friend sent you. “ok Philosopher’s Stone. ‘wow. you need some fresh air and sunshine. skin”: a. another piece of Hard Wax from my 10:05am: It was very responsible of you Andrea. breathing. number two: Hard/Hot Wax. as my anus timetable. my soaring pain thresh- 11:20am: Watch the video of a hamster “Strip wax is applied and used with a piece between my scrotum and groin. That was ok. Get window cleaner from your kitchen and clean > On pop culture Dad: What’re you listening to? You: [insert anything post 1990] your keyboard. Dad: Ah yep. Dad went strength up.then fell by making another cup of tea and read. After another ing a chapter of Harry Potter and the years. labelled piles. Dad Jokes 11:45am: Write a status about how bor- ing studying is. eager to 11:05am: It’s about time you dealt with heavy doses of talcum power. 5:30pm: Decide that you have all of > Talking about feelings tomorrow to study. ‘people are just dying to get in there’. to Woodstock. then removed/ripped in one and I was done. much”. it’s only a brick’ and ‘Stop pulling your sister’s hair’ while you’re sitting quietly and it’s Dad 1:55pm: Take your dog for a walk.” Andrea said. I readied to assume position number two: work. include: ‘Cough it up. taking nail scissors into the shower to keep Ok. I think we’re neighbours.’ Argh. been waxing both men and women for six before. Mark Di Stefano prepares his body for summer. but they’re full of helpful time management tips. hours. effective. on. By “interviewed”. I’m Wednesdee! 4:45pm: Make snacks. or Hot Wax is layered on. ter of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Dads are more organized than you. My previous grooming involved godholyshitballscunt! Tears rolled down 9:15am: While you’re in the kitchen. sional gaze. fussy when it comes to the upkeep of my my penis. > Fun Facts 2:15pm: Have coffee with your friend. Something might have happened while you were away. inflamed and pimply. From her further descrip. As much! As much as what? She And then she said the words everyone check Crikey. just remember. of paper on taut skin… this won’t hurt as colleagues (hopefully). So all the outstanding emails and Facebook bricant would “make sure the wax wouldn’t of skin. She ripped two pieces of strip blue-tack if necessary. back to the bed. wooo. b. Hendrix. you Throughout the waxing I interviewed and c. feet for 30 secs. At the door of a commercial salon. pulling elastoplast from a strapped ankle. McCartney. on seeing a bad 12:06pm: Open the Word document driver. game. > Stating the obvious 11:49am: Look through your brother’s You: Hey. I am generally quite onto a piece of skin a couple of cm above Oh-k. Or the other gem is of course: because you’re suddenly busy. Other helpful life hints Stone. you look like [insert your name here]. Other ‘in the car’ classics include: when passing a cemetery. bleeding from the pores. Make yourself lunch. 11:23am: While the Internet is open. It’s im- incredibly embarrassing for you]. As you can imagine it is much more many questions arose from this sadistic requests from the last few months. Sounds like knees together and pulled to my chest. Because there is no counter and dispensed with $65. Katherine Connolly >15 . Andrea about her time in the waxing everyone’s first time? hands holding either butt cheek wide. it’ll take a while. Andrea applied piece (italics are mine). women and a handful of men. Every time she ripped clean. and on a daily basis would wax 20 tion my first wax would leave my “virgin 20min of detailing I was met with. It’s important to stay in contact with your Dad: Really? I’m Germany.. but I’m hungry not Hungary! Aww I really wanted a sandwich. It’s important to stay informed about current affairs. “This is gonna hurt a little bit. Dylan. Check I assumed the first position: laid back. Read another chap. 1:15pm: Read another chapter of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. This and went again. together like a diamond. my torso rose into to do all that cleaning. Her first weapon was called Strip Wax. “You have what we call ‘virgin scrotum and surrounds. 11:42am: Check emails and Facebook. and at worst like fridge.” she said. 10:30am: Sit down at your desk to start sun for three days. burning like it had been out in the that bits done. portant to eat regularly to keep your Pop culture was better when Dad was your age. If nothing brother’s band’s gig. let me walk to the curb. Your desk is very messy. but she reapplied quickly. time. and… AWWW GOD! CMON!… RIP – awwwwwmafuckenlord- 9:00am: Make yourself a cup of tea. ‘hang with your notes. she was applying what looked was it ultimately worth it? It was. Dad also knows more about vinyl than you. And again. 1:35pm: 1:30 is only the middle of the > Helpful hints day. It’s re. watched the moon landing and saw Dire Straits live. 5:32pm: Watch TV No seriously.” Onion. You have a whole half day to do You: What time is it? work. The Male Brazilian HOW TO STUDY. Reward yourself waxing game. She told me that she had skin’. Dad: Funny. And again. which is ages. [insert anything post 1990 which now seems 12:40pm: It’s nearly lunchtime. TOMORROW From the sounds of it. The dusty lu. with can’t study in this kind of environment. my face as blood seeped from my exposed clean all surfaces. Sort all paper into neat. due to my sadistic inquisitive side. walked bravely into a first Brazilian wax. friends. I pain was at best bearable. bad for you to spend all day inside. I now felt truly vulnerable. like melted cooking chocolate to the skin else. Colour code it and blue-tack story after story of bloodied and bald she re-holstered and pulled out weapon was staring straight into Andrea’s profes- it to your wall. It’s who’s doing the hair pulling. Go to the shops to buy victims. That’s ages. Drudge and The layered the strawberry taffy looking wax dreads. 3:30pm: Get home and have a nap. I staggered outside to the emails and Facebook. 11:03am: Open computer. you might as well clean your stove. It’s important to keep your kitchen an emotional wreck.

there are numerous of. these subjects would be of great advan. cessufully campaigned for the abolition the suggestion that in order for the Uni. a reduction in >16 . idea of it was to stop organisations from Australia. to your university community. Since then two key things have changed. nowhere to live? Who campaigns for the legislation made it illegal for university student organisations will continue to tive Council. mer and Winter School. Graduates. the University in the past we have also ments to friends and many other things been told that if the University decided need to be balanced alongside study. life doesn’t centre around their studies. political and NUS and student organisations like the of your time at university and beyond. departments. The SRC is the university for the first time – you may ernment to crack down on the important body that literally represents the 30. mentoring pro. allow Universities to have Through the strategic planning process semester on HECS. if you have class 25+ hours a week. EDUCATION REPORT Report of the Education Officers. The much more than going to class (although wrong! Even though more than $200 Vice-Chancellor). ex. ‘What can I do for my and an increase in the parental income bit of a battering since 2005 and it’s just ally the case at quite a few universities student organization and community?’ threshold for Youth Allowance. to allocate HECS places to the Sum- If the University wants a diverse and mer and Winter semesters it would dynamic student population it needs take HECS places away from the main to accommodate for the diverse and semesters meaning more full-fee paying dynamic situations of every student. schools. But they were your behalf to the university (eg. The National Union of Students particular issues facing the undergraduate enough. In 2005. could and should make as a step towards The SRC and the National Union suc- rently underway and particularly about achieving the above is to give all stu. It’s your voice on campus government around issues such as Youth student organisations to charge a com. and academics (including fice bearers and collectives that represent degree or good grades sometimes isn’t VCs). Along with the University perienced individuals who know more lower budget than in previous years. The Howard govern- undergraduate students at Sydney Uni. student organisations. a full-fee option and can cost upwards government recently passed laws that of ten times as much as a subject during will. free publications being ‘political’ and recruiting people. I think the University needs days simply because it is too expensive.PRESIDENT’S REPORT Report of the SRC President. (NUS) has survived. so watch this and most promising students no matter finish your degree on-time or it could al. kind of acknowledgement should be semester to make it easier for them to central the strategic plan. the Howard government push back towards some kind of com- What is the SRC? grams and social activities? Who goes in introduced legislation called ‘Voluntary pulsory student union membership this to bat for you when you suddenly have Student Unionism’ (VSU).000 know absolutely no one.usyd. Summer and Winter School because it the attention has been when it comes Currently subjects offered by Summer is esentially a private education provider to talking about the strategic plan this is and Winter School are only offered as within the University) and the federal actually a small part of it. sity about how it can more effetivelly tage for many students. acknowledge the realities of what it is Having the option of completing on of I am currently talking to the Univer- like being a student today. it’s important to have a lot of support ment obviously thought there would be The SRC President is the student who services available for you to access. this year. fight for representation of students on and has a wide range of services includ. as many HECS places as they want. Elly Howse and Rosie Ryan//education. It is still a highly influential campaign SUPRA (Postgrad association). commit. Let’s face it. They’ve taken a organisation on your campus (as is actu. The Council is made up of time to do anything else!). and more broadly to the understandable that you may not have 2006. space! (or send me an email if you have their background or nationality then this low students to take a lighter load during any ideas). have survived on many campuses 32 students who get elected each year. Noah White//president@src. you can bet your bottom dollar The SRC stands for Student Representa. student organisations and unions government. family commitments. in effect. majority of students. during the Summer and Winter intensive year (full-fees can still be charged in Although this has been where a lot of semester (Summer and Winter School). cultural activities. as important to have them around than in 2009). Before it does This week. it’s million was lost from student services in faculties. staff. in your state. If you’re government this year – like a decrease in tant? only thinking. Basically. For the vast work as well. They want well-rounded. answer is no one. uni is universities and students. Allowance and access to education? The pulsory fee for membership. we thought we’d talk about Let’s just imagine you have no student organization do for me?’ then you should the age of independence from 25 to 22. vice. although on a much student body. also be thinking. (like the lovely one you’re reading right It can be really daunting going to and it was very clearly a move by the gov- now!) and much more. free legal ad. as well as contributing SRC that we had results from the Rudd Why is my student organisation Last week I wrote about the University’s One particular change the University strategic planning process which is cur. student You get a huge amount of experience by and lobby group. For example if communicate with students about the If the University wants to attract the best you fail a subject but would still like to srategic planning process. The whole your When the SRC has brought this up with ments. Who speaks on your behalf What’s happened in the last few years? it ever was. the University has said that it aims to attract “the best and most promising Because of this limitations many students Hence the University should commit to students” and wants to talk about how choose to forgo the option of studying making HECS places available for Sum- it is going to do that. of Sydney Union (USU). SU Sport and than how to find stuff in Fisher library. and advocates for you? Who provides Even though there was an unsuccessful services such as food. are now recognising that just having a students.usyd. Work commit. during the Summer or the Winter holi. free caseworkers. ‘What can my student HECS for some degrees. no no more leftwing dissent coming out of runs the organization and advocates on matter your situation. Which is why voice of students. and it was because of organisations form a very important part getting involved in social. and across ing second-hand books. dents the option of completing subjects of domestic undergraduate full-fees last versity to excel it will need to downsize. employers and the general community through the sheer hard work of many Within Council. students.

but UWS and UNSW. is called. However. As important as these Enterprise Bargain. course. as we try to “keep the wolves clothes. as little girls. sexualised. She no longer gives and gives Riding Hood. subjects.” (Rich. male figure of a blurring of traditional binaries and altogether. and she removing the threat of the dark. in the company of sexuality that is found in the forest (of and alongside us. 1770) in an economy of desire. She is a capable young girl with a Culture and Society.usyd. but the other ones are better focus on the remainder of your E-mail: info@issu. feral in the unknown.officers@src. international students through questions Level 5 of the Jane Foss Russell write for that. in wolves. Building G02. dangerous and cunning preda. and reinstates her safely into the large of Wolves. above and beyond all else. teaching-only positions are and DO NOT come onto campus. 43-4) down. which will give me a Amy text of the rest of their life experiences. 41-55 Helene Cixous argues that the figure present within the home. and one p. In addition there is an out to UNSW (and it should be noted that they are important) they are symptom. but people don’t WOMEN’S REPORT Guest writer. positions: male/female. If you think that reducing your study load studies. The most important resource the always a last resort. and within our. Regards about managing their studies in the con. Penguin. 7 (1). including Wollongong. City Road Entry 9660 5222 or help@src. It’s the threat of declining standards and held on the Monday before hand which tion of the role students can play in increasing workloads which galvanised I attended where staff voted to ‘agree to changing the state of higher education. a meeting of the NTEU was student speakers and a special recogni. On the day of the strike.sec@src. attend the rest of lectures and For a long time fairytales have been wicked: she is the bad mother who (Carter. always shuts the daughter in whenever desire. Macquarie.GENERAL SECRETARY’S REPORT Report of the General Secretary. The result was will we be able to keep the quality we the union movement. no longer the only site of sexuality Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism. striking. jealousy… the jealousy of the woman sexuality. sexual and dangerous are always 118). industrial action is to be involved in the industrial action industrial action (even though before. inforcing male desire and reflecting male girl by killing the big bad wolf and thus evil stranger is not always lurking outside In traditional versions of the tale. The woodcutter cuts In Angela Carter’s reinterpretation of by the wolf and Little Red Riding Hood Carter. out by living well” (Carter. 113). So next time a strike carried out by the National Tertiary Edu. dark. 116) girl’s own independent sexuality and based on. They will also give you advice www. by binary op. talk to your academics (and cation Union (NTEU) to demand better by staff with over 1000 ‘yes’ votes) and abundance of sandstone. but often lives within us is a large. hand it was overwhelmingly supported University has isn’t money or an over. At Sydney. laughs and laughs. p. You can “call on Christ and his ever feel scared” (Carter. one that em- innocent and good. passive/active. unless you ask them to. Russel Schmidt//gen. The Bloody Chamber. Monique Evans//womens. I’m doing very badly for one of my Counselling service). be a student adviser in your faculty or the course? I cant be sure if i’ll be able to may also be other things you can think the International Office. A number the country. a local student then you would go to the way. There were uncertainty of the effects of Hi Abe miraculously pass.usyd. UNSW and from outside. Signs: Journal of Women in violent. Helene (1981) “Castration or lacy bed of female passivity. If people understand the reason Classes were cancelled at 16 universi. I didn’t attend about 50% of The other question” (Cixous. the union to demand the pay rise it my core units.usyd. sometimes we cannot repress or keep braces rather than decapitates or drowns and cherished by our daddies. Angela (1979) “The Company of the grandmother out of the wolf’s belly Little Red Riding Hood in The Company deliberately strips off her. There was also trouble discontinuing the subject? the The people who work at ISSU are national students. she Cixous. 115). for a strike then they are far more likely ties. of women. there everything is okay with your visa. and the wolf’s. more respect for academics. which the university had reneged on) to with better pay and conditions not only The media are always quick to demonise a pay rise of just over 5%. the strong. continually re- the woodcutter saves the innocent little stereotypes. The union’s University) to participate in the calls for eroded. minds. p. p. beautiful. and what kind of forest might Carter’s version the grandmother is killed that be exactly?). City Road (beside the tinuing the course. 6%. to be small. knife in her basket “too much loved to of the grandmother regulates female selves. that new kind of woman figure.usyd. so i really wanna get not been able to attend lectures or submit land campus) rid of this and focus on the others. p. becomes an agent of the NY & London: WW Norton & Co. Whereas. She initiates sex “laughing. to your friends about why the staff are staff at universities across the country. so to did a number of staff from Sydney atic of an education system slowly being does call a strike. Wentworth Building) . I made my way ing Agreement negotiations are (and to understand why it’s necessary. the wolf sexuality. feral. Adrienne (1983) “Compulsory Het- erosexuality and Lesbian Existence”. and it’s worse than a Student Support Unit (ISSU). Now she is wraithlike. Decapitation”.usyd. from the outside but an inner It seems we are beginning to accept a us. (If you were discuss you with your faculty in any discontinue fail. and so be well loved who can’t let her daughter go. the daughter might by chance want to What we are dealing with is not dangers. tor.” in the story. will i have any ISSU have a range of services for inter- my lectures and tutorials. I’m not doing great for ISSU can help talk through why you have Campus (the ISSU is also at Cumber- my other subjects. Wolves”. pp. violence and darkness. She is in a young (white) prince. But contemporary adaptations of forced on them or that women want realm that is potentially outside the tra- fairytales (including a recent fashion to smother and devour them. a more than reasonable claim given of trade unions participated in the strike being introduced in an effort to casualise the comparatively low pay of academics as did a number of student bodies from the workforce and there is the looming and ever-increasing rate of inflation. agree’ (as they had done in the past and Our academics are undervalued as it is. it’s people and staff) about why they are striking and talk conditions for academic and general all you poor souls were forced to go to the knowledge those people hold. For “men really fear not that they the mad. mystical and day rescued from danger by a dashing will have women’s sexual appetites witchy aspects of herself. ASK ABE SRC HELP: Level 1 (Basement) Wentworth about and I strongly recommend you go ISSU is there to help and their service is Abe which may result in a absent fail even if i and talk with someone at the International 100% confidential – that is they will not >17 .au Last Wednesday I was lucky enough that at Sydney University there was no have but we will attract more quality just whimsically strike. the knew she was nobody’s meat” (Carter. Check them out at a 20% assignment that i didn’t submit. The sexuality according to patriarchal ideas mother and all the angels in heaven to wolf. if the union ongoing ballot of staff for industrial ac. nature/culture. “Grandmothers are always protect you but won’t do you any discontinue fail. respect the picket line tion at UTS and Newcastle. and reinforced. It’s a Dear Amy assignments and point out ways you can Telephone: 02 86278437 elective for me. The Rich. p. revealing that the tall. class again. student visa i have requires me to study employed by the University to guide because i couldn’t think of a thing to full time. but that ditional roles and binaries prescribed by In the Grimms version of Little Red spread in Vogue) actually encourage women could be indifferent to them fairytales. the only site of sexuality. I’m now looking at discon. They encouraged live or take pleasure… [She] is there as or will help you better focus on your other about discontinuing with a subject if that What do u think i should do? Do you subjects then discontinuing one subject is what you wish to do – making sure that Other people you could talk to would think i should discontinue or try finishing could be a good idea. Positions are being cut all over and the decision that the staff have made stated claim is a pay rise of between 4%.

usyd. to give confidential advice to students How many hours a week can I work embarasses or scares a person. and unacceptable behavior. orientation. and management to undertake training Cost: gender. trans. get advice on any concerns you may work in an touching. by staff unions. or lecturer. response in a week.3pm harassment or harassment on grounds Discrimination Support Officers and Where: of: race. you should it occurs. free from actions can be taken against anyone trying to force sexual behavior onto To discuss your options with regard to SAAO Says harassment and another person. social origin. student associations Raglan Street Building (G10) disability and long term illness. It is also unlawful they want by next month. have prior to making a complaint. Harassment When you can apply for PR?  hatred. then come and talk to generally understood as behaviour The University provides trained staff mean?  someone at SUPRA! which is unwanted and that offends. mation that helps define unacceptable behavior in the University context and students in the class. If you ask questions of Migration Agent crimination. pregnancy. the first thing discrimination. 35 networked computers to in relation to harassment and discrimi.. a available. belong to a particular group (e. race or that you get. I spoke to a against the removal of any existing Harassment and bullying (bully. more to the course coordinator Act (1984). Both men and women making a complaint or if you just want In this Student environment that is tions to secure sexual involvement.usyd. SUPRA has a number In all cases actual and perceived au/eeo Our lecturer has asked us of significant concerns about the pro. We staff member has Sexual Harassment Sexual harassment is an unwanted gives some suggestions about making a complaint. bullying and harassment to vilify a person based on their Aristotle Paipetis. 1 . Unlawful discrimination means treat. You can also speak infor- can’t possibly have this ready for next month! a right to study or behavior that has sexual implications mally with someone from the unit to such as jokes and sexual innuendos. in to one In the mean time ing is usually a pattern of ongoing resources available that can guide you of work and she said she used the below outlines your current rights behaviour) that is not necessarily through your options about what to do. contempt or ridicule someone What the visa options are for inter- If you are still not happy with Unlawful harassment (according to on this basis. (02) 9351 2212 or at: www.. The and staff about any harassment and and does volunteer work count ? University of Sydney Harassment discrimination concerns they have. HIV/AIDS status. marital status. harassment and discrimination. sex . sex. threats or repeated invita. sexual assault and/or rape. discrimination may also be against run the program and got a nation. national students?  the response that you get from both state and federal legislation) is What your student visa conditions them.POSTGRAD PAGES The SUPRA Harassment & discrimination SAAO policies under review Corner The three University policies relating lack of political belief or a particular of support officers can be obtained to Harassment and Discrimination political belief. pregnancy etc can to run several statistical posed draft policy and will be making be grounds for harassment.shtml) has infor- have access to 3 computers and there are another 15 Every student and at risk from the offensive behaviour. Serious Complaints can also be made through the SSEOU by calling (02) 9351 2212. If you feel that you (or someone you analyses for an assignment a submission to this review to argue know) has been subject to unwanted due next month. political belief. lack by contacting the Staff and Student are currently under review with the of religious belief and/or lack of a Equal Opportunity Unit (SSEOU) on Dear SAAO’s. transgender. with a right to be ing someone unfairly because they given the resources that are treated with dignity and respect.usyd. Prevention Policy recognises sexual When: They are referred to as Harassment and Friday 25th September. (imputed) race. age.g. light refreshments provided sibility. there are PhD student doing this kind rights of students. occupational health and safety law The SSEOU website (www. The lecturer may be Do you have a question about mi- able to change the assessment particular preference or are University employees nominated SUPRA Resource Room. describing why you Every student and staff member has a think it won’t be possible for right to study or work in an Your questions are not happy with the response (including sexual harassment) where may be about:  sexuality. background etc). That means it is against consider raising the matter What the 2 year rule is?  the law to attempt to publicly incite with the Head of Department. family or carer respon. University aiming to condense these particular belief. in helping people with concerns about Free. religious belief. can be subject to sexual harassment. Advice Session and discrimination. Sexual harassment is unlawful in to discuss your experience contact a SUPRA SAAO on (02) 9351 3715 or to do is to go and talk a bit NSW under the Sex Discrimination email help@supra. or have a particular dis- All students and staff of the University gration? This is your chance to so that it is possible to do what ability or come from a certain racial come along to an open session to have a responsibility to prevent dis. Discrimination Open Migration ment that is free from harassment you to do the work they want. We only where a person’s health and safety are au/eeo/home/about. A list >18 . Yours.

and given the reasons for the action will be able to: tive Unit has to respond..usyd. so it is a with the response? You can take your Training and Learning Bonus – did you get rejected? Did you apply for the Federal Government’s Training and Learning bonus which was part of the Household Stimulus Package early this year? Was your application rejected? If yes. if they have one. that. Or a student may believe that so give a time limit in your letter. they could have. But what happens if nothing happens? are not sure who that is. your situation should this. you come and talk to SUPRA. Email: admin@supra. In some circumstances. made in relation to your complaint. Officer’ if the complaint relates to will be able to: problems relate to a decision about administrative staff. there is no time limit on how ing Rooms have to share equipment with many your then have reached this stage. and long you could wait for a response. By becoming a SUPRA Supporter you non-academic grievances applies. policy. There is no time limit guiding how if any action occurs or a decision is the University’s policy on student long the Head of School/Administra. If you www. the problem relates someone at SUPRA. others.. confidential student marks. University tive ways to approach the situation. there is no time limit Web: www.supra. You should be told sentative student in the University’s policy on how What happens if you are still not happy long this response can take. Sometimes these that in an email. but that does discrimination.usyd. >19 . relevant staff member. received. Alternatively satisfactorily. then come and talk to SUPRA! In before. If you believe harassment or Raglan Street Building (G10) Whoever you raise the problem with be notified of any action that occurs discrimination have occurred. knowledgement of your complaint the problem involves harassment or should talk to their supervisor about within 10 working days. or the post. Postgrad Pages What to do if you have a complaint? Subscribe to SUPRA - At the casework service. tion. So a postgrad student who policy says that you must get an ac. or may is. you can write describe your complaint. and the we would strongly suggest that you Phone: (02) 9351 3715 know if they make a decision or take response should include reasons for contact SUPRA. if you believe needs more access to equipment. as says that the first step is to discuss respond to this letter within 3 weeks sometimes we can suggest alterna- the problem with the relevant staff of it being received’.au Unfortunately. contact one of the SUPRA Student Advice and Advocacy Officers as soon as you can to assess if you have grounds to appeal against the decision. • Access discounted photocopying. any decision or action.usyd. you could refer your complaint to the Complete your subscription online at NSW Ombudsman’s office. we strongly suggest you can complete a form at our stalls or The policy on student grievances something like ‘I would ask that you drop into the SUPRA office. however. member. 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it lacking somewhat in punch line de. accent. and “Can’t ship that is a credit to both the acting and the fate of the ‘Balibo 5’. It’s and hilarious in the CSI Miami meets them requiring two people. especially “The day the earth prior to the show. the ruins of the city? raw hand-held camera shots blends with ence with smiles all round and hopefully balancing moments of expressive beauty a little knowledge into the realm of high Tom Clement First-time SUDS director Danielle Nakkan and theatricality (after all. Abby (Bec Saffir). I’ll be honest. architecture building being zombie. It’s the day after the towers fell to leave. and appoints him head table mentions go out to the stunningly three quarters. echoing the manage to temper the animosity of their back on. The play’s tempestuous partnership with humour showed superb commitment. leaving the audi. global proof was genius. Why assume that stating warming was retaliation. Can Ben boundless enthusiasm we have come to have heckled the crap out of the other and Abby build a new life together from A gritty. Death was just too some great ones. Hats off to deep soul-searching. human in a fine sheet of white dust from the cloud exudes passionate conviction as José. only the Commerce revue. and. most of my family watched the towers review. “That’s you. I show my loyalty to the indus- Revue cast of 09 had one aim. have gone missing in Balibo and Lewis as “The Runner”. with a vacant expression as he watches nalist Roger West (Anthony LaPaglia) is ever seen.’ tion must go to the videos which were issue audience members with readings and devastation. but a special men. Maybe he shouldn’t more worried and despondent. Truth- tists with an energy the Large Hadron added a lot of funny. Close- they were mostly so endearing even the intimacy of the scene. sometimes a great heckle was before a proposal was due was an ador. Oli Burton is not afraid destroyed. the lone figures jumping from two other people in Sydney who bothered “Jurassic Quark” centers around the about what was going to happen next. please The fall of the towers bring shock. The rest of the world. only involves the pair fighting. it has scientific accuracy to fall size dictionary costumes or a ridiculous that enveloped New York. retracing their steps three weeks later. watching the Revue. effortless sense of history in their relation. I was allowed to literally awake to the world or my Nobel prize?”. though. innocent people whose troubles were end of the day. the revue was (at best) that bright sunny morning were nowhere nolly’s Balibo is set in 1975 East Timor. Jaded political jour- of Caitlin Fisher as the cutest Death I’ve sketches that were reasonably enter. … I still don’t get the BJ sketch at all. But the Collider would be proud of. funnier than the rest of the show. Tom Clement 4/5 4/5 David Mack Lucy McNabb >20 . Ben’s mobile is ringing endlessly discover the fate of the five missing jour- chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate”. confines of Abby’s loft apartment. The real comedy came out necessarily qualify as humour. try by paying money to sit in cinemas smash the stereotype of boring scien. the apartment in downtown Manhattan. The The peaceful locations they visited (eerily man who opened the show with a ‘Night Saffir is one of SUDS’ hardest working similar to an Australian landscape) are But I digress. Internet Explorer and District 9 and to be his boss. ensemble. there are choices to be made. the question of “Where was the joke?” From the dust of that day emerges Neil Australia. sir. houses weren’t John. which even if not safety during political chaos? How did much too long and some elements were Clement was involved in worked quite placed intentionally seems apt. ‘tell hearsed music numbers. the constrictive Cellar theatre due to the builds until the action explodes. ‘A Day ‘I’m Australian’ will guarantee personal velociraptor proof. I slept through the planes. Roger’s sexy “CSIRO” video and the catchy too. José raises an un- be worse than Law Revue” was corre… While there were some groan-worthy direction. with confronting. there were some and Ben (Oliver Burton) sits motionless are suspected dead. While a new world order. R E V U E S E A S O N 2 0 0 9 SUDS FILM The Mercy Seat Balibo THE SCIENCE REVUE ARCHITECTURE REVUE Jurassic Quark Tall Storeys I slept through September 11. Thumbs up to the band office in the World Trade Centre when the of East Timor’s news services. revue to date.They started it”. help me enjoy my little brother’s revue as his family and friends grow more and nalists. the locals they bonded with are revues. The pair achieve an portrayal of events pointedly refutes the Holmes meets Dr Who sketch. horror The reasoning that ‘it’s not our problem. Science Revue brought to the table the that little bit more. so much faculty-specific jargon. tragic results. Flashbacks to before their dis- just quarks and when a quark meets an (which incidentally also appeared in cations of their decisions echo beyond the appearance sit in sad contrast with Roger anti-quark a universe is not made. Robert Con- this was great situation comedy I found In any case. In not seeing to watch Balibo last weekend would agree: story of scientists facing an ethical di. after rejecting advice admirable mentions going out to David the punchline. the tension steadily Scott Brownless houses sturdier than their story arcs. and the antics the first half fell flat. or LaBute’s 2002 theatrical response to the tralian journalists. As the the brutal invasion of our close neighbour very surprising. Total genius. and beg minent. His Darwin career by a young José Ramos The revues true talent lied in its well re. As what Margaret Pomeranz would eat her own seemed like the rest of the world and earrings before giving Aussie films a bad If the all-singing. “No able dancer up on his own balcony. they I was allowed to sleep like it was any other (empty) and watch Aussie films. has chosen a weighty and emotionally liamson co-wrote the screenplay). story. In the end. to explore Ben’s selfishness and he balanc- Shit Sherlock” was both appropriate joining in all the moves despite most of es the dark humour of the role with some Balibo is unapologetically political. sub-par sketches went well. Australian government’s official line on what she said” was accurate. Balibo While I do hope these architects make charged piece which sits comfortably in is expertly crafted. but: wenches who got down and dirty dur. there was no doubt the towers. A violent Indonesian invasion is now im- partment. God’s beard was funny and in fact most things Director In The Life Of America’. The Mercy Seat plays in the Cellar who lost their lives attempting to tell their Theatre until Saturday. kill. The play’s second week sees comfortable question: why does the death yelled. revues. room. buildings. Some of the sketches didn’t near as fortunate. lemma as old as time itself. They got absolutely massacred on stage the events play out live in my lounge this Aussie film is worth seeing. ironically. David Wil- energy physics. Those in Manhattan Inspired by actual events. journalistic curiosity initiates a quest to jingle of wonder drug “hydro-flouro. believable Quarks can’t be isolated. naturalistic style enhanced by expect over the years. is turning a blind eye. The video about the pair of young actors: Tina Moshkanbary. at the new realms of unspoken possibilities. fully? They’re sometimes crap. taining: John & Jane being heckled. including in the shorter scenes such as the hilari. Next time a revue is going to use dust settles. So when it came to school night. tion. and Isaac Usually. mistress. They be funny. receive no governmental condemnation? were also fantastic. and amazing. the endless news coverage in his lover’s unwillingly uprooted from his tranquil ing cancer. matter is not ing a ‘Hey Big Spender’ parody number like an old married couple but the ramifi. also happens Horta (Oscar Isaac). it was to tecture Revue had heckled every other fall simulcast on every television station. are played by an understated. these architecture students ghosts that now wonder the city. The saucy ninety-minute running time essentially and empathy. disappointed that my nepotism didn’t Now. But as much as most of attacks. Five Aus- ous “Global Warming. Jane and Heckler sketch was very On Abby’s coffee table sits a book. even when the show is failing to was crotch-thrusting in the aisles. Whether it everything in Abby’s apartment are coated beneath his bulldog exterior. Both actors and ups capture LaPaglia’s emotional depth Science Revue was just disappointing. but also affords Ben and is presented as a shameful cop-out. and instead of being at their my people’s story’. all-dancing Science They deserved what they got. and grace to Abby. there were also a new dynamic from an equally talented western media interest than the murder But it wasn’t all bad. But the real bow and arrows are aimed at baby returns were paedophilic. ics spin) ought to be commended. I was still pissed off they Kate Leaver ignored. a meson. with an econom. ans and Josh Wiseman. The band numbers well. none was to be found. But. and the courageous journalists raped science. As with many of the other Before Christmas’ spoof about the night members and brings a mature intensity ravaged. the mind of a heckler. man in the moon. The Australia itself. mediocre. and “CSIRO”. Abby – and indeed the US itself – with the film becomes a kind of eulogy to the stood still”. Alas. “The fate of by the heckles from the audience. I’m just a little planes struck the pair were making love. The Archi. crazy quarks were … crazy. moments including a ‘pole dancers’ a new cast enter the roles and no doubt of five white journalists provoke more pun at a Polish disco. of thousands of his country’s civilians? cute to hate. Inglorious Legoma. A few very no. the plumes of dust. The five missing journalists I wanted to suspend disbelief. who urges him.

Contrarily. “top fun”. pepper over the mushrooms. Realistically.” I said in the best ence. Cars give off uni.everyone knows its location. Beach parties occur regularly. and add months at The University of California. But she (Swiss Browns are the tastiest. Americans as you don’t do it in Australia). Just keep in the best dressed person of 2009. but button did know how to play guitar. Let’s not be too hasty and put it counterpoint to all that butter. watch another Herve Leger body con The latest season of Project Runway has dress walk down a red carpet. Tip Top alone for the toast and get some agenda consists of surfing and beers. Enjoy. On butter and oil. let alone Guitar Hero. the movies ‘surfing’. It boasts times a week gave you credit toward your a brand of circumspect Pavlovian reason. if you know mushrooms do just as well). surfing’. cious garnish. Consider Isla Vista. standards can fall very low. our mouths”. First lesson learnt: work the concerned if you have what seems to be accent. the Bar is . out in college is the perfect example. it may have come from by Gaga’s absurd sartorial stylings than an unlikely source – reality television. as a whole the collection STUNNER much more at home chained to a gum- tree on the cover of Rolling Stone. I actually did learn some stuff. I like to grind very unique and special. where I discovered she didn’t Quarter as many mushrooms as you need own a TV. and after six able subjects included ‘the history of first inspection. Lady Gaga on the other hand is a risk taker. doused with olive oil and some that obnoxiously waving around an Aussie of newspapers. Scatter the mushrooms on top. ion industry of a designer like Alex Perry. BLAND. I can tell you. leave the of course. believe. the faintly alien gills. Lady does decide to back a left-of-centre know where Del Playa Drive is?” (That’s mind the final lesson I learnt upon arrival Gaga claimed the title of worst dressed. my a little odd. you can walk down subjects were. strange texture and unplaceable odour of some chopped parsley and garlic. toast. But put it in our mouths we contingent on whether you’re a masochist the street on any night of the week and did. butt- was far too self-consciously strange to compete with international designers naked save for a strategically placed such as John Galliano and Gareth Pugh. who has a pen- One may well wonder. bitch The Joy of Mushrooms Will Rickard is whoever you want him to be. His highly basically a mass shooting of fish in structured and beautiful crafted collec- barrels. “hey. I widened the quiet ritual of cooking myself break. “Come play Guitar Hero with me!” to my Spanish Civil War tute. going the average mushroom rings an alarm bell them to saute until brown – try not to are no exaggeration. And If there is cause to feel hope for Aus- this writer would rather be confounded tralian fashion. are Austral.surfing. Though hand in a predatory fashion. padlock (mixed messages much?) who have made names for themselves making outlandish. and without with two other people. the equivalent of asking where Manning in Sydney: Aussie accents don’t work on At our most recent Fashion Week. Don’t be too what I mean. She grabbed my ously has no problem finding clothes that darling of the Australian media. who goes on exchange The mushroom. A bat-shit crazy. you want to hear: and it’s true. risk taker. The designer. even Aussie girls. Allow Santa Barbara. >21 . that’s right . At this point. Some crumbled fetta is also a deli- be welcomed into any open house party. Pour a good deal of olive I suppose I should also make a note about oil into a fry pan. But I didn’t just get laid a lot. and add as much butter how academically enlightened I now am as you need. flatter her rockin’ bod. or not. fresh air Australian fashion needs. is an intimidating foodstuff.” she said in a we-really. most people are led to sure they are properly covered with the Going to college in the US is something to the States to do uni work? Some avail. Where the wild things aren’t. She is also bland as Cate Blanchett’s recent donning as fuck. just wrapped up with Anthony Capon The rest of the Worst Dressed list is being named the winner. when I sandwiches. “Do you exchange in sunny California. I often find it nice kilometer (that’s a density much higher lot more of you than here at Syd-U. conceptual fashion. you really can’t go past a semester of recently named model Miranda Kerr it is concerning that when the industry ‘outback’ accent I could muster. bowling or playing tennis a few in people’s heads that has a lot to do with overcook them into mushroom sludge – the small uni town where I stayed. The bell that says. swimming. and make face it. the teachers expect a ing that has seen us flourish for a million up to the challenge. Anusha Rutnam spotted a potential target. chant for wearing stiletto heels and ians so opposed to a bit of drama in skirts. Indeed. Kerr is an attractive woman who obvi. delicious ingenuity of two-minute-noodle tive. label Romance Was Born became the the foreign students). may be just the breath of fashion? The dominance in our fash. Yep. “Screw that. I like to linger over them so should-be-in-an-American-teen-movie long that I often conveniently miss the bus accent. I gained a newfound respect for My favourite way to begin the day involves If you’re feeling truly gourmet. and these unprepossessing fungi are. I learnt fast. then eating it slowly amidst a spread ciabatta. artis- I suppose I’d better answer what I know flag can actually make you friends (as long a performance is inevitably mushrooms on tically. If you’re keen for an awesome life experi. allowing it to melt over low Goooo Gauchos! Cute as a button due to my cultural experience. my circle of friends exponentially. For way to skateboards and bikes as a matter starters. It including saving on rent by sharing a room was late on a Saturday night. Drop the mushrooms in. And I learnt really do love Aussie accents. My first night to truly appreciate the skill of budgeting. any day. and skive as the Japanese say. and savouring the having fulfilled the evening’s main objec. might indicate that we do like to play it safe. As pretty as the lady of the crochet blanket dress shows looks in her various outfits. whose clothes are generally The Claw influenced by Old Hollywood and clas- sic conceptions of glamour. designer. a huge pile – the buggers shrink when you cook them. but that’s on a Californian beach. with women who take risks tion was all black but for some sporadic (Agyness Deyn. Peaches use of lilac and indigo textured fabric. Katy Perry. adding more butter if your arteries feel a population of 14 000 kids in one square degree. and every afternoon the main the great country of America. none of them that there were some (kinda) wear- are memorable and frankly she looked able pieces. this object is to add a splash of lemon juice to act as a than New York City) and is located directly the work was generally easier. The Australian gossip magazine Who This is not a terrible state of affairs but “Excuse me mate. Here’s a vague approximation of my recipe: And that was that. but let’s heat. At least. The main attraction of such salt. Will Atkinson’s breakfast recipe is fungalicious. We walked back to her house. Welcome to the OC. Geldof) making for easy targets. ‘the geography of surfing’ and ah. but years. I was walking home alone.

DA N I E L K I T S O N TOO LOUD! TOO STICKY! NOT ENOUGH SNACKS! Laurence Rosier time everyday. barely a day goes by where brightest to spend the formative years have failed to make the sweeping gen- I. http://anyonecanwhistle. eralization that individual incidents are by a female collegian and rudely enquire as not the exception but the rule. or any other male at college. or hit by a chair and receive an injury that Some people would suggest that these any more “journalists” write “articles”. before any more “tits” get ism.monkeygumbo. wikipedia for 3. Scholars and University Medalists are matic of a broader cultural problem in statistical anomalies. Nothing more annoying 3. A massive overhaul is needed. The fine reputation of subject to traumatic and excessively expen. What is the best website of all time? Mat Jenkins.
 cape for the rest of your life? horoscope to all my friends at the same 2. we must put an end to these want to draw any accurate conclusions for me. Definitely lose the all your stick-figure-based entertainment henryearl/ and existential needs. 3. vandalism and ex-college girl before force of habit sees her that college residents have a “general lack sexism are not necessarily specific to getting her tits out. searching for recording a synth-rock extravaganza. For we all Carey “doesn’t wish to speak for all colleges argument that the isolated incidents know that one can barely say ‘hello’ to an or collegians”. 3.” She is absolutely right. will not pass of their life”? Probably not. so logically. conversation and we can no longer allow it. too many of our promising youth are adopt this for www. are you?” 4. English 1. I don’t know. I saw The 4. before about college and explodingdog. Arts III Fiona Curran. It must stop. AHEAD 1. An application that sends a and location. xkcd. PhD Candidate. Emailing my supervisor. sive massage and stretching sessions. 10) Honi online! Alex Lee reaches through cyberspace to vox pop these four students. Arts V 1. 
 Carey correctly points out that there are can only be remedied by physiotherapy incidents are isolated. It would lend an air of WEEK //THREE THINGS WE’RE DOING THIS WEEK mystery to my everyday life. (see p.tumblr. They are sick. alcoholism. cubism and sexism. communal living and fun. they boys”. What are you doing online right now? 2. Cape . “What’s Up With Henry Earl?” http:// 2. In truth. Lose (part of) a finger. Being dormant on facebook while 1. she suggests of drunken behaviour. It makes for awkward of commitment to study. really. We cannot allow tits random and prolific chair fact I’m wearing one now.” The Rhodes the College system but perhaps sympto- Stained reputations. Honi Hypothetical: Would you rather lose one of your fingers or have to wear a 3. any more “chairs” get “thrown”. colleges now. couraged to believe this is a “socially is right. No. 4. books on the library catalogue 2. 15/9/09). cape guy” rather than the “no thumb guy” In defence of college life Joe Payten on the one story that made college kids read the news. Arts/Science I Kyle Solomon. 4. I am extremely glad that Carey Alexis Carey. unlike Carey. it is imperative that we to be getting out all over the place like this. healthy and acceptable way to behave in It would be absurd to even consider the public. Buying an Honi Soit Tee. Certainly not downloading a TV show 1. auto-chat-bot than horoscopes. 1. Reading the SUPRA pages. in her article ‘Lifting the The biggest problem Carey identifies is professors at university have approached did not waste her valuable words on con- lid on college life’ (SMH. Carey ated journalists prone to stereotyping. digg exam in 75min. If we ever >22 . Preferably not THE an index finger. I’d like to be known as “the Incredibles. Is on campus possess” is truly astounding. Trying to find out if it’s true I have an 3. Using the new hand sanitisers in the USU bathrooms 2. An application that pits random quick clarification of complex semantic friends against one another in actual terms combat. The cape. an environment where a student could be “out”. and it’s contents. but they would simply too many “tits”being“gotout”for“the really a place for “Australia’s best and be wrong. re- one that is so rife amongst today’s youth: me and said “your attitude to class is templating such a preposterous theory. residents being forced into physiotherapy in study that the 1200 college students We must employ dictators as heads of but is rather a cesspit of sexism. The number of times society. because. What is the one Facebook Application that would make your life complete? 2. to the likelihood of her getting her tits out Regardless. vandal- due to having chairs thrown at them. “Which famous syphilitic from history 4. the collegiate system thrives on opinion- Carey argues that students are then en. vealed that college is not actually a place we must stop the current spate of college generally indicative of a lack of interest of learning.

1. Big computer? (3) 11. Drum short train! (3) 15. Tie rope and begin show (5) 8. you’d speak. CLUE: SHHH! HE’S TALKING! Three is a 14 Down to extrapolate from. Lower the 23 Across for number six. Cage reset calculator: snake eyes (4) 20. Worth stapling the fourth staple? (5) 10. Sounds like chew or bite. Standard question: Beesting boxer. LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS LAST WEEK’S ANSWER: WHEELCHAIR TENNIS . Four are the people who 5 Down things for you. “Truck”. yes? (3) 4. Amazing! (3) SH INSIDE A false show of 10 Down is number one. Stomach a bad.2) 18. a 24 Across or epic 6 Across. bravery (7) 11.1.OUTSIDE //ACROSS 2. Face bush without drug for great writer (4) 21. Monthly-lady almost thanks military council (5) 2. you and I follow nothing.) 3. Agree. Bruce backflips snake (3) 23. More in sex train! (5) 14. Middle man dupes red monkey (3) 17. Pant (a bit). Box for ash in Friend’s trip (7) //DOWN 1. you and I. Hunt query without atom (5) 7. Sexy woman a little more than three? No (3. Nasty big cat gets mouse tail. but not her real name (7) 9. Bird with long legs called Em in the European Union (3) 13. bad omen (7) 6. isn’t either (3) 5. Ink spilled in hair bugs panel (7) 12. Five have one 19 Down and cannot be seen. Gave a new 8 Across for number two. sort of keen (5) 19. almost not able to speak (3) 22. Fat man has money (1. trip (a bit) (3) 12. American mother does headstand. Seven. Sounds like a Friend. Super-small train! (5) 16. boxes off Mike (boxer)’s kid (7) 24. Say.

Electoral Officer 2009 Students’ Representative Council The University of Sydney . 24th Location Sept. SCA 12:00-2:00 No polling Level 1 Wentworth Nursing 12:00-2:00 No polling Building. 23rd Thurs. The University of Sydney Annual Election VO in t h e SRC e l ect i o n Polling Booth Times & Locations 2009 s Polling Wed. Jane Foss 9:00-5:00 9:00-5:00 Christine Kibble. 2009 Fisher 8:30-7:00 8:30-5:00 Wentworth 8:30-6:00 8:30-6:00 Pre-Polling will also Manning 10:00-4:00 10:00-4:00 be held outside Cumberland 11:00-3:00 11:00-3:00 the SRC’s Offices. T E ! Students’ Representative Council. on Law School No polling 12:00-2:00 Tuesday 22nd Engineering No polling 12:00-2:00 September from Conservatorium 12:00-2:00 No polling 10am-3pm. 2009 Sept.

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