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THE

COLLEGE
HILL

THE BROWN/RISD WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 23 2010 | VOLUME XXI ISSUE III

4 Twit ter K ills H is tor y


7 Like Fa rm er s ’ M a rket s , B ut B et ter
1 0 M a rk Trib e M a kes Ar t
12 B ea rd Com p etition

“Whatever, I’m just gonna go to law school.


#liberalartsgirl (6:51 PM Aug 9th via web)”
-p. 4
The
College
Hill Independent
NEWS
contents from the editors When President Obama announced his plan for a $50 billion infrastructure bank on Labor Day, he used
compete et al. four times: compete, out-competed—as in “we out-competed everybody else. That’s how we
2 Week in Review built America”—compete and competition. When announcing the new “Change the Equation” Initiative to
Samuel Levinson, Jonah Kagan, Daniel Stump
improve math and science education last Thursday, President Obama again used various forms of compete,
3 Public Works: F-
Ashton Strait but seven times: compete, competition, competitors, competing, competitions, competition and competi-
tion. He used the word prosperity once: “Our prosperity in a 21st century global marketplace depends on our
OPINIONS ability to compete.”
4 Twitter Apocalypse I like to think that our prosperity is not based solely in our standing within a global market. I like to
Charles Pletcher think that America, and our foreclosed dream still sold around the world, was built on something more than
“out-competing everybody else.” Prosperity means something more. Schools should be for our children and
METRO teachers, and our infrastructure for our communities. This whole thing is supposed to be about people. But,
5 The Gay Divorcee 15 million Americans are out of work, increasingly shut out from government support, and all we can talk
+VMJBOB'SJFOE
about is competition. Where is the conversation about how to help our neighbors without a real hope of
FEATURES finding a job and entering shelters in record numbers? Now that the recession is officially over, maybe we can
6 Radio Daze start talking about real economic issues.
Natalie Jablonski When we see our schools and universities, our bridges, airports, and post offices as nothing more than en-
Public Markets: The Comeback gines of economic growth, we do ourselves a great disservice. We forget that it is the economy that is trying
7
Marguerite Preston
to serve society, not the other way around. -GAW + NEJ
SCIENCE
9 Killer Plants, Wisdom Teeth
Nupur Shridhar

ARTS
10 Re[occupation] F A L L 2010
Nathan Bergmann-Dean
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Josh Moses +PSEBO$BSUFS "MFYBOESB$PSSJHBO &SJL'POU /BUBTIB1SBEIBOt4$*&/$&,BUJF%FMBOFZ /VQVS4ISJEIBSt
410354.BMDPMN#VSOMFZt'00%#FMMF$VTIJOHt-*5&3"3:3FCFLBI#FSHNBO $IBSMPUUF$SPXFt91"(&
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1 2 Competitive Facial Hair JMZ'JTINBO -JBU8FSCFS 3BDIFM8FYMFS +PBOOB;IBOH #MBLF#FBWFS .BJKB&LFZ .BEEZ.D,BZt*--64
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LITERARY
1 3 dreams + cats = poetry $07&3"35&NJMZ.BSUJO
Sam Alper

X The College Hill Independent


14 Katie Gui PO Box 1930
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Letters to the editor are welcome distractions. The College Hill Independent is published weekly during the
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THEINDY.ORG 2
News

W  R
CONDOMS FO R CO N V I C T S RIDIN’ S O LO R ADIATION,CHEMO,
SHROOMS?
-BTU XFFL  UIF 4BO 'SBODJTDP $PVOUZ An airline bigwig is now claiming that if Doctors have promoted marijuana’s abil-
Jail’s San Bruno unit installed 16 con- he had his way, there would be no need ity to compel even the most nauseous
dom dispensers for its 750 residents. for copilots. “Why does every plane have chemotherapy patients to eat the whole
ɥ  FNBDIJOFT QBJEGPSCZUIF6OJWFSTJUZ two pilots? Really, you only need one pi- bag of Doritos for years, but recent
PG$BMJGPSOJB4BO'SBODJTDPBOEBOBOPO lot,” says Michael O’Leary, CEO of bud- 6$-"SFTFBSDITVHHFTUTUIBUXFNBZCF
ymous Southern California non-profit, get Irish carrier Ryanair. “Let’s take out able to add another illicit drug to the list
are the latest effort in a campaign for the second pilot. Let the bloody comput- of cancer therapies: magic mushrooms.
safe sex in prison. The campaign began er fly it.” Has he not seen 2001: A Space A group of researchers, headed by Dr.
in 1989 when health workers starting Odyssey? Charles Grob, conducted a groundbreak-
giving condoms to inmates during indi- Even if the evil flight computer does ing study on the therapeutic effects of
vidual visits. decide to spare the passengers, what if psilocybin (a psychoactive compound
Although sex between inmates is il- the pilot has some sort of emergency, or found in certain fungi) on the mental
legal, everyone with cable knows it still just gets a little lonely? Clearly O’Leary health of cancer patients. The clinicaltri-
happens. Kate Monico Klein of the city’s has thought this one through. In his vi- als.gov profile of the study classifies psi-
Public Health Department said, “If [pro- sion, one flight attendant per flight is locybin as “a mood-altering drug with ef-
viding condoms] saves one or two lives, trained to land the plane. “If the pilot fects similar to other hallucinogens like
it’s worth it.” It will likely do much more has an emergency, he rings the bell, he LSD and mescaline” which, in a “com-
UIBO UIBU  BT UIF SBUF PG )*7 JOGFDUJPO calls her in,” O’Leary says. “She could fortable and supportive setting,” could
among prisoners is 5 to 7 times that of take over.” If O’Leary were willing to improve one’s mood.
the public. In a 2001 study by the De- think outside the patriarchal gender The study included male and female
partment of Health and Human Servic- roles in his plan, he could probably save cancer patients between the ages of 21
es, the rate of syphilis in California pris- money by having the co-pilots help serve and 70 whose “potentially life-threaten-
ons was nearly twice that of the general drinks. ing” diagnoses have brought on clinical
population. This is not the first time O’Leary anxiety or depression. The administra-
Some critics, who appear to have announced controversial cost-cutting tion of psilocybin had a positive influ-
obtained all of their knowledge about ideas. He once proposed replacing some ence on the social lives of the subjects
casual sex from John Hughes movies, seats with standing room and charging (after the four hours they spent watch-
are arguing that providing condoms will passengers to use the toilet. Luckily, ing the iTunes visualizer); patients pre-
encourage inmates to have sex; however, these “upgrades,” along with his idea to viously inhibited by their anxiety began
numerous studies have shown that giv- instate a “fat tax” for overweight cus- to communicate with their friends and
ing people condoms does not increase tomers, never made it past the Irish family and feel less burdened by the
the chances of sex occurring. Were ev- Aviation Authority. Loyal passengers mental stress of their condition. These
ery prisoner given a Camaro and some probably wouldn’t have been too fazed improvements in mood were accompa-
Marvin Gaye albums, it might be a dif- by these new inconveniences, however, nied only by slight rise in blood pressure,
ferent story. As it stands, the prison did TJODF 3ZBOBJST (SFBU 1PUBUP 'BNJOF increased heart rate, and a newfound ap-
an extensive study with just one condom inspired “no frills” policy includes non- QSFDJBUJPOGPS1IJM-FTI'SJFOET
machine in 2007 that revealed no statis- reclining seats and customer service by Roland Griffiths, a psychiatry and
tically significant increase in sexual ac- fax instead of email. neuroscience doctor at Johns Hopkins
tivity. In O’Leary’s 19 years in the Ryanair School of Medicine, thinks the study
Though the San Bruno lockup is cockpit, he has made it his mission to en- has the potential to reduce taboos sur-
UIF ëSTU QSJTPO JO UIF 6OJUFE 4UBUFT UP sure that the Economy class deserves its rounding medical use of psychedelics by
provide inmates with condoms, many OBNF:FUTPNFIPX 3ZBOBJSTUJMMTFSWFT “showing that you can administer these
prisons abroad already do so. “It may the 3rd most passengers in Europe. One compounds safely to cancer patients
be controversial,” says Sheriff Michael can only expect this ranking to improve with anxiety.” Thus, this successful ex-
Hennessey, “but I think the larger health once those freeloading copilots are periment could open doors for similar
education message is important. forced to ride with the common folk at research in the future, and one day the
-DS the back of the Airbus. world may look upon psychedelics as
-JK more than just a way to “turn on, tune
in, drop out” in the tradition of every-
one’s favorite doctor, Timothy Leary.
-SL

by Jonah Kagan,
Sam Levison,
and Dan Stump
Illustration by Kah Yangi
3 S E P T E M B E R 2 3 2 010 T H E C O L L E G E H I L L I N D E P E N D E N T
News

P
W bucket compared to the 2.2 trillion
dollars the American Society of Civil

D’
Engineers (ASCE) estimates needs
to be spent to repair our infrastruc-
ture, such as roads, bridges, dams,
power lines, and other basic public

W
utilities in the next five years. The
ASCE releases an annual report card
grading the country’s infrastructure
using statistical assessments of sev-
en components: capacity, condition,
H OW OUR COUNTRY S ’ funding, future need, operation
INFRASTRUCTURE IS and maintenance, public safety,
and resilience. In 2009, the total
CRUMBLING BENEATH infrastructure “GPA” given by the
ASCE was a D. In short, we’re fail-
OUR FEET ing.  It should come as no surprise
by Ashton Strait either.  Europe on average spends
Illustration by Annika Finne about 5 percent of its annual gross
domestic product on infrastructure;


It looked like hell on several people in the neighborhood have ed dated from 1924. Even worse, the in- UIF 64 TQFOET IBMG UIBUʔ "T UIF "4$&
earth. I have never come forward testifying to the fact that cident was not unique. There have been states on it’s report card website, “years
seen a ball of fire that they reported smelling gas in the area over a dozen similar explosions in New of delayed maintenance and lack of mod-
huge,” Bob Pellegrini of in the weeks and months before the :PSLJOUIFMBTUUXPBOEBIBMGEFDBEFT  ernization have left Americans with an
told reporters in the explosion, and Pacific Gas and Electric one of the worst of which killed 3 people outdated and failing infrastructure that
aftermath of the recent September 9 gas is reported to have received notification in Gramercy Park in 1989.   cannot meet our needs.”
line explosion in San Bruno, CA. The fire of these possible gas leaks, but took no The steam pipe that exploded recently While pushing for the $787 billion
caused by the blast killed four people action. Pacific Gas and Electric owns and JO/FX:PSLXBTPXOFECZ$PO&EJTPO  stimulus bill last year, Obama described
and injured 52 others in addition to de- operates 42,141 miles of natural gas dis- which operates 105 miles of pipes that grand plans for, “building a 21st-century
stroying 37 homes and damaging over a tribution pipelines and provides natural service most of the city. Con Edison and infrastructure,” citing previous times
hundred more. The explosion occurred gas to around 4,300,000 customers. UIFDJUZPG/FX:PSLBSFTUJMMJOWPMWFEJO when “a generation of Americans seized
when a 30-inch steel pipeline carrying litigation after Con Edison sued the city, the chance to remake the face of this na-
natural gas ruptured, blasting a 28-foot U N D E R P R E S S U R E pinning the failure on faulty sealant in- UJPOw 6OGPSUVOBUFMZ  UIF OFX TUJNVMVT
section of the pipe nearly the length of “My car is going down!” the woman jected into the pipeline by a contractor spending provides just that: a face-lift.
a block and leaving a crater big enough screams in the 911 call, “I’m going down! working for the local government. The Most of the public works projects ac-
to swallow a tank in the street. Residents Please! I’m going down!” This woman is city maintains that the pipe’s failure was counted for in the bill are short-term
describe feeling their houses shake, and trapped helplessly in her Honda Accord the result of the company’s poor main- projects, designed to create jobs quickly
calls began pouring into 911 minutes af- as frigid water rises around her—the re- tenance of its underground infrastruc- and to be completed within three years.
ter the blast, describing a fireball rising sult of a water main break in Bethesda, ture, though Con Edison inspectors had Three-quarters of the highway projects’
almost 100 feet into the air. MD on December 23, 2008. She was air- examined the pipe the morning of the funds, for example, will go to refurbish-
Initial suspicions were that an air- lifted out of the car some time later, as explosion and alledgedly found no cause ing existing roadways. This distribution
plane had crashed due to the neighbor- were two other drivers.  She and many for alarm.  The official cause of the fail- makes sense from a political perspective,
IPPETDMPTFQSPYJNJUZUPUIF4BO'SBO others were trapped during their morn- ure was contact with cold water, possibly as major highway construction projects
DJTDP*OUFSOBUJPOBM"JSQPSUʔ6MUJNBUFMZ  ing commute as the roadway they were from rain or a leaking water main. Cold MBTUBCPVUZFBSTBDDPSEJOHUPUIF'FE
the fire burned between 15 and 20 acres driving on was suddenly and inexplica- water causes steam to condense in the eral Highway Administration, by which
JO UIF OFJHICPSIPPE 'PVS ëSFëHIUFST bly flooded with quickly-rising water. In pipe, creating a condition called “water time Obama will be long out of office.
attempting to contain the blaze were total, firefighters and rescue crews saved hammer” or “hydraulic shock” that re- However, no amount of infrastruc-
seriously injured. Soon it was discov- nine people trapped in eight cars, leav- sults in a wave of high pressure build- ture spending will have an effect if the
ered that the blaze was started by the ing no fatalities. The incident came on ing up in the pipe. Newer, high-pressure local governments and private corpora-
gas from the pipeline, but quickly spread the heels of a similar water main rup- pipelines are far less susceptible to this. tions who own our public works contin-
to houses both from the surface and via ture in Maryland in June 2008 that shut ue to fail to properly maintain and police
lesser pipelines connected to neighbor- down hundreds of restaurants and left P U T T I N G A CO R K I N I T these systems. Privately owned utilities
IPPEIPNFT'JSFëHIUFSTSFQPSUUIBUUIF residents without clean drinking water. Pipelines aren’t the only public works cannot escape the problems inherent in
heat from the fire reached 1200 degrees The Washington Suburban Sanitation showing their age in the last few years. any bureaucracy: the lack of cooperation
'BISFOIFJU IPUFOPVHIUPNFMUUIFUBJM Commission (WSSC), who was responsi- Who can forget the footage of the I- among different sectors; the inability to
lights on cars parked hundreds of feet ble for the pipeline, had warned prior to 35W bridge collapse in Minnesota in take precise, definitive, and timely ac-
from the primary blaze. The explosion both disasters that its aging sanitation 2007? The bridge, which carried roughly tion; and the subjugation of the public
also damaged a critical water main, so system, which serves nearly 2,000,000 140,000 vehicles daily, came crashing interest to those of the organization.
firefighters had to truck in water, slow- customers, was underfunded. WSSC down into the Mississippi River during 6OGPSUVOBUFMZ CFDBVTFUIFJSGVODUJPOBM
ing suppression efforts. spokesman Jim Neustadt told local re- rush hour traffic on August 1 of that ity requires the bureaucratic institutions
The National Transportation Safety porters, “we are working on long-term year. The main causes of the collapse of the public and private sectors to work
Board (NTSB) has begun investigations plans to try to repair or replace those were cited as the unusually heavy load on together, they encounter these prob-
into the precise cause of the explosion, pipes… and we need the funding to do it. the bridge due to the weight of construc- lems two-fold. Perhaps a good portion
but documents obtained by CNN from It gets to be a very difficult situation.”  In tion equipment, as well as the failure of infrastructure spending should be
Pacific Gas and Electric, the company 2007, the system had a record-breaking of fatigued and stress-fractured gusset spent to create a better system of federal
that owns and operates the pipeline, 2,129 breaks or leaks, though most were plates that joined the main trusses of the regulation, so that the national govern-
state that the pipe had a “relatively high relatively minor incidents. structure. Government inspections in ment could have a more definitive and
SJTL BOE MJLFMJIPPE PG GBJMVSFw 'VSUIFS It’s not just Maryland and California the years leading up to the collapse rated effective method of policing these cor-
more, because the pipe was located be- that are experiencing failures in their ag- the bridge as “structurally deficient” and porations and their utility systems. City
neath a highly populated neighborhood, ing public works.  On July 18, 2007, New it was scheduled to be replaced in 2020.   governments and national corporations,
“the risk of a failure at this location [is] :PSLFYQFSJFODFEBTUFBNQJQFFYQMPTJPO President Obama has pledged many it seems, make strange, if not dysfunc-
unacceptably high.” The pipe was in- that rocked midtown Manhattan, killing times to help rebuild the country and tional bedfellows, and since no one yet
stalled in 1948, and as Mark Toney, the one and injuring 30.  The 40-story plume save the economy by spending money on seems willing to take accountability for
FYFDVUJWFEJSFDUPSPGUIF4BO'SBODJTDP of brown steam that burst into the air infrastructure. His most recent proposal these failures, it seems we’ll continue to
CBTFE 6UJMJUZ 3FGPSN /FUXPSL, stated, blew out a 40-foot crater in the middle of is to build a 50 billion dollar infrastruc- suffer for it.
“this was an area that was old, that was the street and rained down dirty water, ture renewal bank that would be used to
at risk, that they [Pacific Gas and Elec- pieces of piping, and asbestos onto the GVOE USBOTQPSUBUJPO JOGSBTUSVDUVSFʔ 6O ASHTON STR AIT B’13 burns bridg-
tric] identified as high risk.” Indeed, surrounding area. The pipe that explod- fortunately, 50 billion is a drop in the es.
THEINDY.ORG 4
Opinions

Twitter and the End of the


Historiography by Charles Pletcher
Illustration by Adela Wu

O
n April 14, 2010, the growth of that audience the user’s to preserve their actions more visibly emplum of September 19, 2010. Even
the Library of Con- only goal—Twitter disrupts not only and permanently than ragged memory among the tens of thousands of tweets
gress announced on one’s sense of self but also one’s sense allows. This impulse causes the erosion sent at the same moment, what could
their blog that they of community. Twitter followers become of privacy (on and off Twitter) at the this tweet mean?
would be archiving something to cultivate for amusement. core of Twitter’s threat to history.
“every public tweet, This characterization doesn’t ignore Built for the mobile masses, Twit- TWITTER WANTS GOOD STORIES
ever, since Twitter’s the prevalence of self-parody on Twit- ter doesn’t present much in the way of Twitter revels in disjointed and incoher-
inception in March ter. When @liberalartsgirl tweets some- flashy technology nor does it offer its ent communities. Each Twitter commu-
w *O UIF '"2 QPTUFE PO "QSJM   thing like, “Whatever, I’m just gonna go best experience through a web browser. nity revolves around a definite center,
they write, “Twitter is part of the his- to law school. #liberalartsgirl (6:51 PM Rather, Twitter still works most elegant- the user. Oddly, communities don’t con-
torical record of communication, news nect when they respond to each other,
reporting, and social trends—all of because such responses often take the
which complement the Library’s existing form of small conversations. Rather,
cultural heritage collections.” Twitter, Twitter communities arrives from dis-
BDDPSEJOHUPUIJT'"2 JTQBSUPGPVSIJT parities. A community based on differ-
tory. This decision preserves ephemeral ence, though, does not mean a bad com-
“Sitting on the porch” tweets of Twitter munity. Twitter missteps by using these
virgins alomg with tweets breaking news differences as tokens of individuality:
of natural disasters. Twitter’s indiscrim- each group of followers spins around a
inate history undermines all previous single tweep.
conceptions of narrative. The mix of per- A friend (154 following, 192 follow-
sonal and global histories presents raw, ers) recently tweeted, “why do people
unmediated presence where nothing is keep adding me on Twitter? & does this
supposed to exist, privileging virtual involve an obligation to be interest-
reflections of ourselves over our flesh, ing now?” (1:09 AM Sep 19th via web).
blood, and ink. In this paradigm, our his- This tweet points to Twitter’s infamous
tory is no longer story, but status. black hole: self-reference. As mentioned
above, all tweets point back to their us-
TWITTER WANTS TO BE A MIRROR ers; tweets reflect rather than project.
The observation that Twitter is a channel Twitter centers on the publication of os-
for modernity’s narcissism is so obvious tensibly private thought; it confuses the
that it borders on inane. Social media personal and the universal, it obscures
in general act as beautifying mirrors for the individual and the community, and
the self: Twitter with status updates and it inverts the quotidian and exceptional.
'BDFCPPLXJUIDBSFGVMMZDVMMFEQIPUPBM If we no longer need to remember the
bums and friend groups. I won’t bother most mundane parts of our days thanks
to address social media’s narcissism. I to 140-character snippets sent to cyber-
want to talk about why such narcissism space, we no longer have the gaps that
is dangerous. I don’t necessarily want provide space for personal narrative.
to understand how Twitter works, but Our personalities derive from what we
I hope to clarify what makes Twitter so Aug 9th via web),” she makes no effort ly through a simple text exchange with come to believe about ourselves through
hard to understand, namely its appropri- to hide the self-deprecation that signals 40404. No fancy web pages, no filters— what we have done, thought, or said—
ation of our personal narratives. Twitter parody. At the same time, the cycle of just follow/unfollow, tweet, and be mer- personality is an outward reflection of
is not simply a tool for texting a large entertainment for entertainment snags ry. Twitter asks for unmediated status, internal decisions. Twitter coaxes the
number of “followers.” Twitter runs on the account’s tweets and turns them into TPJUTVTFSTHJWFJUUPUIFN6OXJUUJOHMZ  internal out of us; it renders each of our
our mundanities, depriving us the ability the audience-grab that permeates Twit- its users give up their personal histo- narratives public and so external.
to weave our details into personal narra- ter. Perhaps unwittingly, tweets from ries. Twitter encourages the impulse to Externality is an ancillary concern,
tives. Twitter doesn’t simply narrate for the accounts of celebrities like Kanye tweet constantly by making tweets feel however. Twitter has fragmented our
us; it brings narrative alarmingly close to West do the same thing: “Hotel bath- similar to text messages, only intended notion of community by advocating for
history. robe got me feeling like a king! (1:58 PM for a larger audience. Twitter has fewer its indiscriminate history. No narra-
 'PS UIF QVSQPTFT PG UIF GPMMPXJOH Sep 22nd via web).” Twitter’s propensity class preferences than its technological tive derives from tweets. They chronicle
paragraphs, let “history” mean any nar- for caricature is not a benign side-effect kin: ostensibly, one only needs an inter- a history of selves without observers.
rative based on actual events. Twitter of its users’ goal of building large audi- net connection for initial account setup, Twitter asks us to remember only our-
seems to be changing how individuals ences. Thanks to the Twitter platform, after which Twitter functions perfectly selves, and it aids in preserving our most
see themselves, the importance they all tweets, even those oriented entirely well thanks to the ubiquity of mobile fleeting thoughts. At the same time,
ascribe to their opinions, and how they towards the audience, refer back to their phones. Twitter solidifies the the self as an indi-
understand a community. Twitter erodes authors; and bearing in mind Twitter’s Twitter’s omnipresence permits us vidual apart from a community—except
a person’s sense of self and presents him use of “@,” one might even say that all to forget our own stories. Twitter re- insofar as that community serves his or
or her with a “timeline” (Twitter’s word) tweets refer “at” their authors. solves the inconvenience of having to her needs. Worse, Twitter accounts ex-
of who he or she has been. The timeline remember what we had for breakfast last ist only as virtual selves within virtual
grows estranged from its author as it TWITTER WANTS PERMANENT Wednesday; Twitter even takes on the communities—an account cannot be
becomes entangled in the Twitterverse, TRANSIENCE EVERYWHERE responsibility of letting us know the last separated from its followers or it ceases
until a person’s tweets present an overly I have a Twitter account because my job time we were on Twitter—tweet about to function as a Twitter account. Twit-
flattering reflection which replaces an requires it: eleven Twitter accounts fol- it, and Twitter records it for all posterity ter numbs its users to its individuating
element of that person’s character. That MPX NJOF 'SBHNFOUT PG BVUPCJPHSBQIZ (truly, thanks to the LoC). communities, asking the users to forget
is, Twitter influences how we see our- should not constitute history. “Trend- Tweets are based on events, and as their living selves for their virtual reflec-
selves. Its self-aggrandizement allows ing topics” assume their ephemeralness, such Twitter ought to exist solely in the tions. By easing our forgetfulness, Twit-
people not only to manufacture but also but recording tweets and treating them present. Tweeted observations ought to ter hardens our isolation, and we forget
to preserve (and preservation is the de- as historical artifacts suggests a purpose epitomize pith and transience—some how to tell a story.
parture from normalcy) images of them- other than in-the-moment commentary. PG UIFN EP 'PS FYBNQMF  iɥ  F EFWJM JT
selves that have no basis in reality. Twit- The ease of self-preservation offered by beating his wife (10:33 PM Sep 19th via
ter encourages this flattery through the Twitter appeals to more than just Twit- Twitter for iPhone (anonymous user)).”
mere publicity of tweets. By giving one’s ter’s users. Twitter’s massive user-base This tweet has no context. It is nonsense C H A R L E S P L E TC H E R B ’ 1 1 . 5 is
thoughts, activities, and inclinations a of ephemera-producing “tweeps” en- outside of its moment, but Twitter has just gonna go to law school. #JKLOL
readymade audience—and by making sures that even non-users feel the need preserved it publicly as a minute ex-
5 S E P T E M B E R 23 2010 T H E C O L L E G E H I L L I N D E P E N D E N T
Metro

DIVORCÉE WHATTT?!
THE DISSOLUTION OF GAY MARRIAGE IN RHODE ISLAND
by Juliana Friend

F
or gay and les- said Karen Loewy, an attorney at Gay Lynch wrote a letter to recently unseated Island will follow suit.
bian couples in and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders State Representative David Caprio (D- The bill has faced resistance in the leg-
Rhode Island (GLAD). In Rhode Island, spouses are le- Narragansett), chairman of the House islature, said Representative Peter Mar-
wishing to marry, gally responsible for each other’s debts. Judiciary Committee, expressing strong tin, a member of the House Committee
a legal ceremony If a couple separates, and one spouse de- support for the bill. on the Judiciary, because representatives
is a short drive velops a drug problem, for example, the The ruling in Chambers v. Ormiston confuse the issue of gay divorce with
to Massachusetts results could be financially ruinous, she created an “absurd result,” Lynch wrote, marriage equality. Opponents of the bill
away. What may said. and placed gay couples in a “legal conun- conflate the issues of gay divorce and
prove more diffi- Supporters also point out that Rhode drum” if the marriage failed. This bill marriage equality, Martin said, so “this
cult than forming legal unions, warns di- Island recognizes other kinds of mar- FYQBOET UIF 'BNJMZ $PVSUT KVSJTEJDUJPO bill doesn’t get judged on its own merit.”
vorce lawyer Lise Iwon, is breaking them. riages that aren’t legal within its bor- and opens its doors to gay couples seek- Representative Amy Rice, who also
“People get married without knowing ders. If two underage Rhode Islanders ing divorce. heard the 2010 bill and said she will
the law,” Iwon says. The Wakefield, RI married in another state then returned “Because the Rhode Island Supreme continue to support it until it passes,
lawyer has known eight clients who tried to Rhode Island, the state would recog- Court has spoken on this legal quanda- explained simply, “There are too many
in vain to legally break ties with their nize that marriage even though under- ry, the General Assembly ought to act,” democrats in this blue state.”
spouses; under state law, Rhode Island age marriage is illegal in Rhode Island. If wrote Lynch in the letter. “It is an issue Representatives Peter Palumbo and
courts cannot dissolve same-sex mar- an underage couple can obtain a divorce of fundamental fairness for our citi- Roberto DaSilva, members of last year’s
riages performed out of state. To obtain from Rhode Island family court, why not zens.” House Judiciary Committee who have
a divorce, couples must move to a state a gay couple? records of conservative voting on social
where gay marriage is legal and establish Martha Holt, an attorney at the A LT E R E D S TAT E S issues, could not be reached for com-
residence for one year. Rhode Island-based Lawyers for Equal- Since the December 2007 ruling, states ment.
This law was established by the 2007 ity and Diversity (LEAD), admits that nationwide have been grappling with The Representatives hesitated to pre-
landmark court case, Chambers v. Orm- Rhode Island might not be ready to tack- UIFJTTVFPGTBNFTFYEJWPSDF'PSTUBUFT dict how the new composition of the
iston, which marked the first time a gay le the gay marriage issue. Concerns over with constitutional bans on same-sex House Judiciary Committee___ may
couple that married in Massachusetts the budget deficit are more important in marriage, same-sex divorce isn’t on the affect the fate of gay divorce. However,
filed for divorce in another state. The the eyes of legislators, she says. But gay table for debate. However, in states like 3FQSFTFOUBUJWF 'SBOL 'FSSJ  XIP DP
Rhode Island legislature has repeatedly divorce should be among those press- Rhode Island that neither ban nor allow sponsored the 2010 gay divorce bill, is
contested that decision. Two identical ing concerns, says Holt, who obtained same-sex marriage, the legality of gay di- optimistic.
bills—one proposed to the Senate Judi- a same-sex marriage in Massachusetts. vorce can prove murky. With a governor who has publicly
ciary Committee in 2009 and the other The legislature must act fast to rescue As in Rhode Island, courts in Oklaho- supported the National Organization
proposed to the House Judiciary Com- gay couples from the “legal limbo” im- ma and Texas have ruled that same-sex for Marriage, 2010 “just wasn’t the right
mittee in May of 2010—attempted to posed by the Chambers v. Ormiston rul- couples cannot file for divorce in their UJNF w TBJE 'FSSJ )PXFWFS  UIF PQFOMZ
overturn the Chambers v. Ormiston rul- ing, adding, “this bill is about divorce, state of residence. Along with New Jer- gay representative spoke of a culture
ing and allow any legally married couple not marriage. Let’s not muddy the wa- sey and a handful of other states, New change beginning in the legislature.
to divorce in Rhode Island. However, ters.” :PSL XJMM QFSGPSN HBZ EJWPSDFT CVU OPU With a new governor, and a new group
neither bill ever came to a vote. The 2010 In contrast, opponents of the bill HBZ NBSSJBHFT *O 'FCSVBSZ PG   of legislators, there might not be a need
bill is currently “being held for further view the issues of gay divorce and gay /FX:PSL4VQSFNF$PVSU+VTUJDF-BVSB GPSBHBZEJWPSDFCJMMOFYUZFBS 'FSSJTBJE
study.” marriage as inseparable. Religious orga- Drager ruled that a lesbian couple that Next season, legalization of gay mar-
“[The bill] wilted away in the com- nizations and social conservatives view married in Canada could file for divorce SJBHF JT B iGPSFTFFBCMF QPTTJCJMJUZ w 'FSSJ
mittee,” said State Representative Peter legalization of gay divorce as a backhand- JO/FX:PSLɥ  FSVMJOHNBSLFEUIFëSTU said.
Martin, who heard testimony on the ed way to allow gay marriage in Rhode same-sex divorce case in the state, and  6OUJMUIFO UIFXBJUJOHHBNFDPOUJO
2010 bill as part of the House Judiciary Island. Executive Director for National set the precedent for legalizing same-sex ues for Providence resident Lisa Lunt,
Committee. Organization for Marriage, Rhode Island divorce in states that have not legalized who has been trying to divorce her wife
As the House of Representatives is Christopher Plante said at the hearing in same-sex marriage. for over a year. She testified at the 2009
currently in recess, the bill must be re- .BZ i:PVDBOUEJTTPMWFTPNFUIJOHUIBU  -JLF 3IPEF *TMBOE MBX  /FX :PSL hearing. When that bill was abandoned
introduced in January when the new you don’t recognize in the first place.” law is silent on the issue of same-sex and a successor proposed, she returned
session begins, Martin said. In the  'PS1MBOUFBTXFMMBTGPSUIF%JPDFTF marriage and does not explicitly de- in 2010 to share her story.
meantime, Iwon’s clients remain in legal of Providence, same-sex divorce comes fine marriage as between a man and a “When I married I married for life.
limbo. down to personal responsibility. If a cou- woman. But unlike Rhode Island’s Su- Then life happened and my marriage
ple marries in Massachusetts, it’s their preme Court justices, Drager found this ended,” she began at the May 2010 hear-
CIVIL RIGHTS DEFENSE OR responsibility to return to Massachu- silence to be sufficient proof that same- ing. Born and raised in Providence, she
A S SAU LT O N M A R R I AG E ? setts for a divorce, he said. sex divorce did not oppose state policy, said that moving is not an option. No
Supporters of the bil—which include gay But the one-year residence require- and granted the couple their divorce. In matter how many times the bill is pro-
rights organizations, the Rhode Island ment for divorce makes this solution 'FCSVBSZ UIF/FX+FSTFZ4VQSFNF posed and dropped, she said, “I’ll still be
Bar Association, and several members of infeasible, Loewy and Holt counter. Court also ruled to recognize gay mar- here.”
the House Judiciary Committee—argue Many gay couples own houses and have riage in the case of divorce.
that same-sex divorce is a matter of civil children. It is “simply unfair and unjust”
rights, not gay rights. to force these couples to uproot them- LO O K I N G A H E A D
The issue of debt counts among the selves, Holt said. Months before the new legislative ses- JULIANA FRIEND B’11 can prove
most mundane—and most compel- The day of the May 2010 hearing, sion, members of the House Judiciary murky.
ling—reasons to legalize gay divorce, Rhode Island Attorney General Patrick Committee are unsure whether Rhode
THEINDY.ORG 6
Features

Airwave Renaissance
RADIO DRAMA’S TENUOUS
REVIVAL IN A DIGITAL AGE
by Natalie Jablonski

O
O 'SJEBZ  /P
vember 25,
1960, radio
drama died. Although the effects of this transi- were young, and those who are just ex- Plains, Missouri for a week of workshops
Goodbye, Ma tion were felt on all genres of radio, the cited about a different kind of podcast. and performances. The listserv Audio
Perkins 'BSF greatest casualty of the takeover was Greenhalgh, who also produces his Drama Talk has almost 1500 members.
well, Amos ‘n’ American radio drama. Today it’s be- PXO XPSL UISPVHI 'JOBM 3VOF 1SPEVD But compared to the state of the genre
Andy. It was come almost completely esoteric, a for- tions, says he likes radio drama because in other countries, these numbers and
the end, too, for Have Gun, Will Travel. gotten relic. What’s left seems corny, as an artist, “It opens up a market that a handful of organizations seem paltry.
On this day, three of the last important BMNPTU FNCBSSBTTJOH 'PS B XIJMF  B fiction writer can’t access, but it’s a heck The new age of online streaming and
daytime dramas were cut from the sound few robust shows—like NPR Play- of a lot easier than film.” podcasts is clearly a new opportunity for
waves, a day that most radiophiles con- house and Earplay— survived through It’s clear why accessibility is part the radio drama medium to rise from the
sider to be the beginning of the end for the 1980s, featuring innovative works of radio’s appeal. The simplicity of the dead, but it hasn’t quite caught on yet.
the ‘golden age of radio.’ by renowned playwrights like Harold technology and medium can allow for 'PS POF UIJOH  OPCPEZ IBT ëHVSFE PVU
Before television, radio dominated Pinter and Samuel Beckett. But even a sophisticated sound without the ob- how to make buckets of money through
national media. Supplying news, mu- these have since gone by the wayside, stacle of complicated sets and costumes. podcasting. And it can be surprisingly
sic, and entertainment—radio was all short of funds and not prioritized by Although radio drama has nothing on tricky to listen to radio dramas online.
there was. In this age of smart phones, networks. Meanwhile, in Britain, ra- television in terms of visuals, its limi- The BBC, for example, airs hundreds of
3-D movies, and high-speed internet, dio theatre remains a familiar concept: tations may also be its strengths. The dramas each year, but only makes them
we forget there was a time before all this the BBC still produces hundreds of new voice, standing alone, can convey an available for a week or two for online
existed, when the exciting new technol- plays every year for its channels Radio extraordinary range of emotion. There’s TUSFBNJOH0UIFSPSHBOJ[BUJPOT MJLF;#4
ogy was something much simpler: the 3 and Radio 4, including the soap op- an intimacy created through listening, 'PVOEBUJPO  MBSHFMZ NBLF UIFJS QJFDFT
humble radio. Most forgotten of all is era The Archers that has run since 1950. and radio drama often uses stream- available only by purchase. In contrast
the genre of radio drama, which included As the outlets for radio drama shrank of-consciousness narratives that allow to the vast archive and user-friendly de-
everything from full-length radio plays, JOUIF64 TPEJEJUTBVEJFODF"OEXJUI characters’ internal dialogues to become sign of popular nonfiction radio shows
comedy shows, adaptations of like This American Life, radio dra-
classic plays or stories, as well as ma sites are fraught with broken
soap operas that ran up to five links and unavailable content.
times a week. At the time, radio Although part of radio’s
ESBNBT‰CPSOJOUIF64JOUIF strength is its technological sim-
late ’20s—were a dime a dozen. plicity, it can also make for some
Ranging from the comedies of tiresome listening. “The vast ma-
3FE 4LFMUPO PS 'SFE "MMFO UP jority [of drama producers] are
the suspenseful CBS Mystery people on a laptop, plugging in a
Theater and superhero series 64#NJD ëHVSJOHJUPVUBTUIFZ
The Green Hornet, radio dramas go along,” Greenhalgh explains.
held the attention of the nation Even Susan Loewenburg—head
through nothing but sound. of LA Theatre Works, one of the
Radio soaps populated the air- foremost audio theatre groups in
waves with well-loved series like the country—was quoted in the
Ma Perkins, which aired 7,065 Wall Street Journal, saying that
episodes over 27 years—second podcasting combines “twenty-
only to The Romance of Helen first century technology with
Trent. Perhaps the most famous eighth grade content.” Since
use of radio theatre was Orson more people have access to tech-
Welles’s The War of the Worlds, a nology than ever before, there
1938 one-time fictional broad- are fewer barriers to simply re-
cast announcing an alien inva- cording and uploading—which
sion that was so realistic, many means there’s less of a filter cre-
MJTUFOFSTXFSFDPOWJODFEUIBUUIF64XBT no audience, there was even less incen- another layer of the play. Also, since the ated by technology, and it can be hard to
actually under attack. tive for stations to support those proj- only cues as to what’s going on are audi- know where to find the good stuff.
By 1948, television was steamrolling ects—there was just no money in it. tory, the potential actions are unlimited. Even when the technical quality of
over radio like a monster truck over a While on stage it would be a tricky feat an amateur work can be problematic—
bicycle. Networks like CBS and NBC— STIRRINGS OF LIFE to have a character go to the moon or “sounds like they recorded in the bottom
which began as radio networks —start- Despite its mounting obscurity in the drive a racecar, on the radio it can seem of a well”—Greenhalgh says the quality
ed cutting their radio budgets, and show 64  SBEJP ESBNB JT OPU RVJUF dead—at as realistic as making a cup of coffee. As of the story can still come through and
after show got the axe. Network execu- least not according to a few devoted Greenhalgh points out, “There’s an op- appeal to listeners. That is, after all, the
tives saw money in the future of visuals. BEWPDBUFT 'SFE (SFFOIBMHI QSPEVDFT portunity as a producer to use imagina- point—to experience a good story. And
Listeners—after they got over their ini- a weekly podcast and blog called Radio tion for all your special effects.” On a at a time when we are bombarded with
tial trauma at the death of their favorite Drama Revival. He started the project related note, Greenhalgh has observed ever-more-stunning graphics, gruesome
soap opera characters—were soon glued in 2007 on the airwaves of Portland, a trend in popularity: “Horror is one of visuals, and two-second frame rates,
to the screen. The change wasn’t un- Maine’s community station WMPG, the genres best-suited for radio drama… maybe a good story is just what we need.
DPOUFTUFE DPNFEJBO 'SFE "MMFO  XIPTF as a distribution opportunity for work people love horror programming.” With podcasts becoming commonplace,
popular show Allen’s Alley was one of the that didn’t have a lot of other outlets. and the audio book industry on the
first to go off the air, jibed angrily at the Greenhalgh says that once he posted the A LO N G R OA D A H E A D rise—people are starting to listen again.
new technology: “Television is a triumph call for submissions on a few listservs, So is there, in fact, a revival? Several Perhaps radio drama’s stripped-down
of equipment over people, and the minds he started receiving a steady stream strongholds remain: LA Theatre Works storytelling is just the rest we need for
that control it are so small that you could of content. “It’s remarkable how much is a company devoted entirely to audio our tired, twenty-first century eyes.
put them in the navel of a flea and still new work is being produced,” he says. UIFBUSF ;#4 'PVOEBUJPO IBT CFFO QSP
have enough room beside them for a His podcast boasts 10,000 downloads a ducing work, specializing in sci-fi and NATALIE JABLONSKI B’10.5 is
network vice president’s heart,” adding month, and he says that his audience is fantasy, for forty years. The National listening to Harold Pinter’s A Slight
mournfully, “Radio was abandoned like an “eclectic mix” of those nostalgic for "VEJP ɥ  FBUSF 'FTUJWBM VOJUFT BCPVU B Ache.
the bones at a barbeque.” the old time radio they heard when they hundred enthusiasts each year in West
I N   P U
W e have not always shopped in gro-
cery stores. We have not always
pushed shopping carts down
fluorescent-lit aisles, past shelves
and shelves of bright packaging and brand names.
6QUISPVHIUIFUIDFOUVSZ VOUJMJOEVTUSJBMJ[BUJPO 
the rise of long-distance transportation, and all that
19th Century Markets
21st Century
which constitutes modern consumer culture, every
city had a public market. The public market was a
place of activity and abundance. It was full of shout-
ing and the reek of fish, full of unwashed heaps of veg-
etables and cuts of meat darkening in the air. Every
food producer and purveyor in the region—farmers,
butchers, bakers—came to the public market to sell
their goods. Each vendor had his own stall and in the
CJHHFTUDJUJFT MJLF-POEPO 1BSJT /FX:PSL BOE4F-
attle, these stalls could sprawl for blocks, making up
an entire market district. Markets usually were held
near waterways, next to bridges and ports, and on
ferry landings. The market was where the city rubbed
shoulders with both neighboring farmland and travel-
ing merchants, and where city dwellers could congre-
gate to buy everything they needed. The cities over-
saw the public market, but much of the regulation
came from within. With so many merchants, compe-
tition was fierce and customers picky, keeping prices
low and quality high. The social nature of the market
also established trust between buyers and sellers.
:PVCPVHIUWFHFUBCMFTGSPNUIFNBOXIPHSFXUIFN 
meat from the man who butchered it, and bread from
the man who baked it.
But with the rise of the supermarket in the 1920s,
the public market all but disappeared. What had once
been farmland became suburbs, and what had once
been brought to the city by farmers was brought by
train. People began to buy their food the modern way,
in packages and in stores. They no longer put their
trust in the familiar faces and knowledge of their lo-
cal producers, but instead in the familiar lettering and
enthusiastic advertising of name brands. In certain
cities, however remnants of the market districts have
remained, even to this day. Borough Market in Lon-
don has been in existence at the south end of London
Bridge since 1756. Pike Place Market in Seattle, La Bo-
queria in Barcelona, and Reading Terminal Market in
Philadelphia are also still standing. All are versions of
their former selves, some closer than others to what
they once were. Many are mainly tourist attractions
now, and cater more to visitors seeking souvenirs and
QIPUPPQTUIBOUPSFTJEFOUTTFFLJOHHSPDFSJFT'PSUIF
most part, these once-sprawling, chaotic epicenters
of economic activity are smaller, more streamlined,
more commercial. They are no longer a place where an
entire region congregates to do business with the city. deeper and deeper scrutiny by the public. If farmers’ A NEW OLD MARKET
Instead they are a place where the city does business markets pose at least a partial solution to some of This, at least, is the idea driving one new public mar-
with its visitors. those problems, public markets can do so even more. ket, New Amsterdam Market, which is now emerg-
Recently, however, some public markets are return- The public market offers what the farmers’ market of- JOHJO/FX:PSL$JUZɥFNBSLFUJUTFMGJTOPUOFX‰B
ing to their old form. Borough Market, for example, fers—a direct connection between farmer and buyer, market took place in 2005, followed by monthly mar-
began renovations in 2001 that have restored focus an assurance of responsible, sustainable production kets last winter and this past summer. But this Sep-
on regional vendors. It provides more real, basic foods practices—but in a broader scope. The farmers’ mar- tember it became a weekly market, and will now take
than specialty items. In recent years the market has ket only allows farmers, but public markets include place every Sunday until the middle of December.
become a bustling center of activity for farmers, ar- distributors as well: people like grocers and butchers Despite its newness, New Amsterdam Market has its
tisans, locals and visitors alike. This growing interest who may not grow the food themselves, but can be roots firmly planted in the historic public markets
just as integral to responsible food sourcing. By al- UIBUXFSFPODFBDUJWFBDSPTTUIFDJUZ3PCFSU-B7BMWB 
in revitalizing public markets is emerging out of the
lowing the same access to these people who supply the founder of New Amsterdam Market, calls it a re-
same roots that have seen the explosion of farmers’
the rest of our food, advocates say a traditional public vival. To him, this market is more of a continuation
markets in recent years. It is hardly news by now that
market offers a more complete alternative to our cur- than a beginning, an effort to sustain an institution
the local food movement is rapidly gathering speed,
rent food system. that was an integral part of both culture and economy
and that our current food system, from its regulation
for so much of the city’s history.
to its safety to its accessibility, has been subject to  -B7BMWB JT UBMM BOE UIJO  XJUI B .FEJUFSSBOFBO
UBLIC complexion: dark hair and deep-set eyes under heavy instead?” Though it’s not always easy to turn people
For the eyebrows, olive skin, and the kind of beard so dark
it leaves a five o’clock shadow even freshly shaven.
away, or even define the criteria for the vendors, La-
7BMWBJTEFEJDBUFEUPCVJMEJOHBMPDBMGPPETZTUFNUIBU
His family is Italian and he grew up in a market cul- will support the growth of small businesses and the
ture, visiting relatives in Rome and shopping with his development of the regional economy.
by Marguerite Preston grandparents at little Italian delis, groceries, and bak- The public market could provide significant sup-
Design by Joanna Zhang eries on the Lower East Side. It would be easy to say port for small businesses. The way a public market is
UIBU-B7BMWBJTTJNQMZJNNFSTFEJOUIFIJTUPSZPGUIF structured, vendors can sell their products with very
public market, invested in creating a market the way little investment. Instead of having to pay for a store-
it used to be. He has a soft, almost childlike voice, and front, they can pay just a small fee for a stall for the
can talk at length with clear reverence about old New day. In the case of New Amsterdam Market, vendors
:PSL )F IBT TUBDLT PG JNBHFT GSPN UIF OJOFUFFOUI pay a stall fee that varies depending on how valuable
century showing engraved scenes of the market. He the product is (farmers pay the lowest fee, restaurants
has books that catalogue the contents of the market, selling prepared food sell the highest). The fee goes
and maps showing Brooklyn as farmland. He is also toward things such as renting the parking lot where
very particular about keeping the market true to its it’s held. In return, each vendor gets two tables, one
PSJHJOT/PUPOMZIBT-B7BMWBFTUBCMJTIFEUIFNBSLFU in front and one behind, as well as a sign with their
in a historic market district, and given it a name that name and a chalkboard to use. All they have to do is
recalls the original Dutch colonists who traded there, show up.
but he also insists on an old-fashioned uniformity in Better than the stalls themselves, however, are the
the market itself. He supplies the merchants with un- market crowds. Thousands of potential customers
imbellished materials to furnish their tables, forbid- show up to see the market. The public market is as
ding the vinyl signs and displays that appear at many much about interaction as it is about making money.
farmers’ markets. He also discourages synthetic pack- It gives customers a chance to meet and talk to the
aging and tries to get vendors to use wooden crates people who produce their food. “Different vendors
and baskets instead of plastic boxes. But it is not keep saying that the crowds here feel different,” La-
TJNQMZ BFTUIFUJDT BOE OPTUBMHJB UIBU ESJWF -B7BMWB 7BMWBTBZTiɥFQFPQMFXIPDPNFIFSFBSFSFBMMZJO-
More than his love of the history, he sees real value terested in learning about this stuff.” Customers can
in the public market alternative as a way to reinvent feel comfortable knowing not only where, but also
the system for the present day and to create a more who, their food is coming from, while vendors can use
sustainable, equitable, and accessible alternative to it as an opportunity to teach as they sell. Shopping
the current food system. turns into conversations, like “how are you supposed
New Amsterdam Market takes place at South to cook this kale?” or “what kind of cheese should I
Street Seaport in lower Manhattan, where the East get?” or “what exactly is kimchi?”
3JWFSPQFOTVQJOUP/FX:PSL)BSCPSBOEUIF#SPPL-  -B7BMWB JT DBSFGVM UP FNQIBTJ[F XIFSF B QVCMJD
lyn Bridge crosses over the river at its narrowest market differs from farmers’ markets. “The Green-
point. Close to the ocean and what used to be farm- NBSLFUT IFSF JO /FX :PSL POMZ BMMPX GBSNFST :PV
land, it should be no surprise that the seaport sprang can’t sell anything there if you haven’t grown it your-
up where it did, and that where it sprang up there has self. But we have distributors as well as farmers.” The
almost always been a market. In the nineteenth cen- distributors at New Amsterdam Market are still from
UVSZ UIFTFBQPSUXBTIPNFUP'VMUPO.BSLFU POFPG the region, and they still only sell regional products,
/FX:PSLTHSFBUQVCMJDNBSLFUT XIFSFGBSNFST QSP- but they help bring a greater variety to the market.
ducers and merchants from the surrounding region They also help bring products that might otherwise
HBUIFSFE FWFSZ EBZ UP TFMM UIFJS HPPET ɥF 'VMUPO never make it to customers in the city. Plenty of farm-
'JTI .BSLFU  B XJOH PG UIF PSJHJOBM 'VMUPO .BSLFU  ers and small producers don’t have the time, resourc-
lasted until very recently, but in 2005 this final rem- FT PSEFTJSFUPNBLFUIFUSJQUP/FX:PSLUPTQFOEBMM
nant was moved to the Bronx. Now the fish market day at the market. But if a distributor can take their
building stands abandoned, and the seaport’s main products for them, they can still reach thousands of
attraction is the enormous mall built over parts of potential customers.
the old market. Most of the visitors are tourists com-  -B7BMWB JT EFEJDBUFE UP CVJMEJOH DPOOFDUJPOT MJLF
ing to eat a hamburger and shop at Abercrombie & these, and to creating a community out of the pub-
'JUDI8JUI/FX"NTUFSEBN.BSLFU -B7BMWBIPQFT lic market. Right now the market is still new. It is
to revive the Seaport as a destination for the city it- just gaining its footing as a weekly market, and still
self and for the region immediately surrounding it. has no permanent location--only a parking lot that
He envisions market-goers coming from Wall Street -B7BMWBSFOUTGPSUIFEBZ#VUPOFEBZ-B7BMWBFOWJ-
and Tribeca on one side of the market and from the sions it becoming a complete system, the way public
MPXJODPNFIPVTJOHPOUIFPUIFS7FOEPSTXJMMDPNF markets used to be. He hopes to eventually move into
NPTUMZGSPNUIFGFSUJMF)VETPO7BMMFZ $POOFDUJDVU  UIFPME'VMUPO'JTI.BSLFUCVJMEJOH BOEUPCFDPNF
/FX+FSTFZ 7FSNPOUBOE.BTTBDIVTFUUT/POFXJMM a permanent fixture at the seaport. “I want this to be
be beyond 500 miles, and most will be from within a market district,” he says. The market itself would
100 miles. be the center, with everything from farmers, cheese-
A public market is essentially a local market. His- makers, and butchers to grocers, bakers, and other
torically, of course, this was by necessity: food could artisans. Branching out from here would be wholesal-
only travel so far and still remain fresh, and there was ers, shops, and restaurants. “It would be a destina-
enough diversity in the farms and producers that sur- UJPO NBSLFU GPS UIF FOUJSF DJUZ w -B7BMWB TBZT  iBOE
rounded the city that there was no need to travel far. JUXPVMECFBDDFTTJCMFGPSFWFSZPOFw-B7BMWBDPOTJE-
/PXJUUBLFTXPSLUPLFFQUIFNBSLFUSFHJPOBM-B7BM- ers the market a “public asset,” a place that fosters
va has to turn away vendors who come from too far culture and community as well as commerce. And
away, or who use ingredients that do, whether that is UIPVHIJUTTVDDFTTSFNBJOTUPCFTFFO -B7BMWBTIPQF
TNPLFE TBMNPO PS DIPDPMBUF DIJQ DPPLJFT i:PV DBO is that this and other public markets will reemerge as
get so much around here,” he says, “and if you can a viable alternative to the food system we are now in.
get it from here, why would you get it from some-
where else? Why do you need to make chocolate chip Marguerite Preston B’11 spent this past summer in-
cookies? Why can’t you make some sort of fruit pie terning for New Amsterdam Market.
9 S E P T E M B E R 2 3 2 010 T H E C O L L E G E H I L L I N D E P E N D E N T
Science

Bio Battles
FIGHTING FOR FARMLAND, SWAMPS, AND TEETH
by Nupur Shridhar
Illustration by the author

C H A S I N G PA R A S I T E S
In order for Africa to develop, it must be-
gin feeding itself. Difficult, considering
its large and disperse population, and its
dearth of natural resources—aside, of
course, from what foreign nations have S WA M P M O N S T E R
extracted from the soil: oil, uranium, Last month, the Rhode Island Depart-
gold, and diamonds. On top of all this, ment of Health announced the season’s
African farmers have struggled for de- first human case of Eastern Equine En-
cades to save their crops from witchweed, cephalitis (EEE), a viral parasite com-
or Striga, a genus of parasitic plants that monly referred to as sleeping sickness.
has infected roughly two-thirds of sub- 'JSTU JEFOUJëFE JO IPSTFT  &&& JT USBOT
Saharan Africa’s arable land. mitted to humans by infected mosqui-
The parasite itself is an evolutionary toes and, like every other incurable brain
marvel—growing plants release a hor- parasite, is not a pleasant way to go:
mone called strigolactone. When a plant symptoms include fever, aimless wan-
is near a dormant Striga seed, the para- dering, personality changes, and finally
G R OW I N G W I S D O M
site releases a hormone that causes ger- seizures ending with collapse into coma. virus. “The folks up in Massachusetts In a study published in this month’s Jour-
mination and attaches to the growing Approximately 33% of those infected actually noticed infected mosquitoes in nal of Biological Chemistry, researchers
host, which is very quickly leached to die, and survivors often experience sig- higher rates, and so early in the season, from Japan’s National Institute of Ad-
death. In order to disinfect their fields, nificant brain damage. No word yet on they launched a large-scale aerial spray- vanced Industrial Science and Technol-
farmers (those who can afford to) often the 20-year-old Newport County local, ing of the entire southeastern area.” says ogy show that tissue from wisdom teeth
treat the soil with ethylene gas, which currently unconscious and in critical Gettman. “They hardly do that.” can be transformed into stem cells. Since
stimulates germination in the absence condition, who likely encountered an in- In general, about 200,000 counties 2006, scientists have been able to side-
of hosts, causing the Striga seedlings to fected mosquito population while hiking do some truck spraying annually, but it’s step the ethical debate concerning stem
starve. But one Striga plant can scatter through woods in southeastern Massa- JNQPSUBOU UP OPUF UIBU JG UIF 64 EJEOU cells by inducing “stem-ness” in im-
tens of thousands of tiny seeds in a field, chusetts. fund mosquito testing sites, more of us mature skin and blood cells and other
and seeds often survive the disinfection  'PSUVOBUFMZ  UIF .BTTBDIVTFUUT %F might actually have to know of and wor- non-embyronic tissue. Most cells, how-
process. partment of Health has known for years ry about EEE. “It’s a good thing we had ever, do not transform easily, and some
Since it’s impossible to fully disinfect that the hardwood/freshwater swamps data that told us to step up the spraying researchers believe that the soft pulp in
a field, scientists have begun looking for found throughout New England are per- this year,” Gettman adds. “It wasn’t until the center of wisdom teeth (found in all
alternative ways to protect crops—and, fect breeding grounds for Culiseta melan- after the spraying in MA had wrapped up teeth—the root of every tooth ache),
by extension, to create sustainable bio- ura, the mosquito species that transmits that we heard that someone had tested which are often extracted anyway, might
logical niches wherever people need to the EEE virus from birds to humans. “The positive for EEE.” It could have been a be the next best way to market stem cells
eat. According to a study published in mosquitoes lay their eggs in root cavities swarmy summer, but as Gettman points to the public: each of us is born with our
last week’s Nature Chemical Biology, re- that go down into the water level, where out, “It’s important for people to know very own cache of potentially life-saving
TFBSDIFST BU UIF 6OJWFSTJUZ PG 5PSPOUP there’s plenty of stagnant swamp water that the most effective way for them be cells, already genetically compatible with
used the popular plant model Arabidop- and plenty of space for eggs,” says Dr. safe is to take responsibility for their our bodies, unlike most organ replace-
sis to identify the genes responsible for Alan Gettman, the RI Department of safety.” The RI Deparment of Health ment therapies currently available. No
strigolactone production. They were also Environmental Management’s mosquito warns that Chapman Swamp, in West- entrepreneurial biotech companies of-
able to grow mutants that released less abatement coordinator. Gettman has erly, has tested positive for EEE and en- fering to store our just teeth yet, but it’s
strigolactone—and so were more resis- helped establish a mosquito surveillance courages people to avoid stagnant water, a nice excuse to avoid going to the ortho-
UBOU UP 4USJHB JOGFDUJPO 6Q OFYU UIF program that captures mosquitoes from wear protective clothing, and use insect dontist.
genetic manipulation of plants in vivo, trapping pools throughout RI and tests repellent that contains safe levels of
cross-breeding with wild type alleles, them for EEE and a handful of other DEET. One more reason to look forward NUPUR SHRIDHAR B’11 lays her
and hopefully, the beginning of some- high-risk diseases, including West Nile to the fall. eggs in root cavities.
thing delicious.
THEINDY.ORG 10
Arts

MISSING THE
MARK REFLECTIONS ON A STAGED
OCCUPATION

by Nathan Bergmann-Dean

S
Photography by Patrick Free

tudents at The New boundaries between art and politics, he about abandoning the script and then use occupation are not understood.
School for Social Re- succeeds only in depoliticizing a political left to let the students decide for them- Any characterization of this week-
TFBSDI JO /FX :PSL act and appropriating it for his artistic selves, though the videographers contin- end’s events as analogous to a real oc-
City occupied the purposes. Two basic layers of appropria- ued to film. They rejected the premise of cupation romanticizes the tactic while
cafeteria of the stu- tion occur: first, the event is a staged, the reenactment, undoing the first layer ignoring its actual meaning: occupation
dent center in December of 2008. About scripted, centrally organized, university- of appropriation, but the second aspect is a site of contestation—there exists an
a hundred occupiers from a coalition of sanctioned reenactment of a political of appropriation was still present. Had opposing force that is directly resisted.
student groups made demands that in- occupation that was in actuality autono- the participants chosen to remove them- At no time during Tribe’s “occupation”
cluded the resignation of the President, mous, unsanctioned, and decentralized. selves from Tribe’s project by not allow- EJEUIJTUBLFQMBDF'VSUIFSNPSF UIFSF
The actual occupation was one product is no indication that
&YFDVUJWF7JDF1SFTJEFOU BOE5SFBTVSFS 
investment transparency, increased stu- of students’ organizing around issues “Displayed in the gallery, the event connections were
dent control over campus decisions, and immediate to their lives, a response to drawn with existing
the opening of an autonomous student a situation in which something concrete becomes the stuff of spectacle – to political organiz-
space. The occupation was the peak of was at stake. Tribe’s reenactment capi- ing taking place at
a long process in which the groups had talizes on the original occupations’ in-
tensity while ignoring the political con-
be engaged with passively, despite Brown. This is not
to say that an occu-
been organizing, petitioning, holding
pation’s only rele-
demonstrations, and building a move-
ment towards these same goals. There
ditions from which it emerged.
The second level of appropriation
the participatory nature of the vance lies in achiev-
was a sustained presence of supporting is the video capture of the fruits of the ing the demands
demonstrators outside, as well as na- improvisation. The potentially genuine reenactment itself.” of a movement. A
tional and international statements of creative and intellectual activity of the sustained practice
solidarity. After over 30 hours of physi- participating students is turned into an of taking over space
cally defending the space from security image of itself, to be presented as a to- builds collective
and the police, the students succeeded in ken of Tribe’s art piece. Displayed in the power across move-
pressuring the administration to yield to gallery, the event becomes the stuff of ments. The more
many of their demands. spectacle—to be engaged with passively, people take and de-
The occupation was a crucial force despite the participatory nature of the fend space, the more
towards shifting school policy, but also reenactment itself. power they build to
constituted the creation of an autono- According to Julian Park B’12, one shape their world.
mous space in and of itself. Sometimes of the participants of the project, both It is a chal-
spontaneously and sometimes through Tribe and the students quickly realized lenge to the student
conversations lasting until a consensus that pretending to be the New School participants of this
was reached, students made decisions occupiers was not working. Adrian Pio event to bring the
about how to utilize the space and pro- B’12, another participant, described this insights and inspira-
ceed with the occupation and nego- initial portion as feeling “disingenuous.” tion they generated
tiations. The events at the New School After giving up on the script, the stu- this weekend into
helped spark a series of similar actions dent participants themselves decided to practice. It is here
the following year, on campuses in both move out of the sanctioned room Tribe ing it to be filmed, they could have fully that art has the potential to become po-
/FX:PSLBOEJO$BMJGPSOJB IBE SFTFSWFE GPS UIF SFFOBDUNFOU 'PM taken the project into their own hands. litical: when it is used as a creative and
 ɥ  F "SPOTPO (BMMFSZ JO /FX :PSL lowed by the cameras, they migrated to However, as long as their conversations liberatory tool.
recently commissioned Mark Tribe, a another room on the other side of the were on camera, they became part of Contrary to what was likely well-
professor in the Modern Culture and building, continuing discussions about Tribe’s artistic domain. intentioned, Tribe’s art piece was an
Media department at Brown, to create what it meant to take space and use it as  4UVEFOU9 BQBSUJDJQBOU IJHIMJHIUFE iteration of the very systematized alien-
an installation for the “Shape of Change” they chose. All participants interviewed that it is Tribe who now controls the way ation that occupying students intend to
exhibit, pertaining to speech and differ- agreed that the process of choosing to the events will be presented to the pub- overturn. Occupying students forcefully
ent forms of dialogue. To this end, on move and the conversations that fol- lic. Though he expressed his desire for claim a space to gain autonomy, to fur-
September 18, Tribe reserved a room lowed were politically transformative the students to be involved in choosing ther their ability to self-organize, and
in Brown’s Student Center and staged on an individual level, and that going how to use the footage, the final video to transform private space into public
a reenactment of the 2008 New School through this process together created a piece coming out of the event remains space. While the students participat-
occupation, with the help of 15 or so stu- community where one hadn’t existed be- under Tribe’s name and ultimate control. ing this weekend realized the hypocrisy
dents. Ariel Hughes B’10 and Mark Tribe fore. In this way, the students succeeded Any input that the students will have inherent in the piece and attempted to
scripted the initial dialogue and the in creating something genuine and po- on the final presentation is a privilege transform it through improvisation, cre-
major developments of the occupation tentially useful, in spite of the premise granted by Tribe. ating a space for an exploration of the
based on archival footage. The rest was of the project. concept of occupation, this very trans-
intended to be improvisational theatre, M A K I N G TOYS O U T O F T E C-­ formation was again captured and depo-
lead by the participant’s role-playing of I N C H A R AC T E R 9’S liticized by Tribe’s cameras. In spite of
students in the original New School oc- Despite some ambiguous wording on the Tribe’s piece is objectionable not only the individual and collaborative creativ-
cupation. The entire event was captured project’s blog, this was in no way an oc- because he is co-opting both sets of stu- ity so fertile in the space, Tribe’s project
on film by professional videographers cupation. They did not take or defend dents’ genuine political action for an art re-appropriated the practice of occupa-
for the exhibit, which opens October 30. a physical space that they were not al- piece under his name. It also delegitimiz- tion—that of public and self-organized
ready free to use in whichever way they es and depoliticizes the tactic of occupa- resistance—into private social capital.
FETISHIZING THE R ADICAL wished. Some participants were unsure tion itself, undermining its potential to
Tribe’s project was conceived as a per- of the consequences of moving to the be used in an actual struggle. When oc- NATHAN BERGMANNDEAN ’13
formance, but also as a space to explore, other side of the building, but Park and cupation becomes associated with empty pulled down the posters y’all put up out-
“occupation as a political tactic and uto- another anonymous participant agreed theatrics, it is more likely to be decon- side.
pian strategy, the state of student activ- that there was never any real risk of a textualized when employed in political
ism, and the ways in which reenactment confrontation with campus authorities. struggle. The news media frequently
can blur the boundaries between arti- Though Park speculated that they delegitimizes occupations and similar
fice and everyday life,” as put by Tribe’s occupied the “artistic space” by reject- tactics, calling them purely dramatic and
group. ing the script and moving to a different failing to report on the buildup of politi-
If Tribe’s aim is to complicate the room, Tribe still sanctioned all of those cal tension preceding the action. As a re-
decisions. Tribe started the conversation sult, the factors pushing the students to
11 SEPTEMBE3R 23 2010 THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT
Food

BREAKFAST OF
CHAMPIONS
OR, HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR
EGGS IN THE MORNING?

by Josh Moses
Illustration by Isabel Khoo

W ith her best love-


you-no-matter-
what face on, my
mother told me, “girls love a guy who can
cook.” This display of motherly under-
handedness was her way of conveying
that I could potentially salvage my repu- minutes. My mother took this as a chal- cheese melted and the croissant crisped, the slices come off the pan gold—like
tation with women, despite a free-throw lenge to make breakfast totally portable and served. Lil’ Jon’s grillz—and so soft that they al-
percentage something like what Stephen and started making these delectable most crumbled on the plate. We topped
Hawking puts up and a musical talent breakfast smoothies. DESSERT this with the peach compote and gar-
that extends only as far as Guitar Hero. The melon-mint was made with two The final course was the most important. nished it with real maple syrup and pe-
I grew up with the warm smell of parts frozen bits of honeydew, one part Summer in New Hampshire is peach sea- cans. The smell of the peaches reached
spiced apples stewing, the hiss that a fresh mint leaves, a splash of limejuice, son, and for the month of August my the table before the food, and when my
jar of homemade jam makes when you and ice. The apple-cinnamon was apple mother turns our kitchen into a halfway sous chef and I arrived brandishing the
crack it open, the buttery flakes of a cider, frozen in ice trays and blended with house for peaches fresh off the tree and 'SFODI UPBTU MJLF JU XBT UIF )PMZ (SBJM 
piecrust perfected with experience. My a pinch each of cinnamon and nutmeg. on their way into pies, cans, tarts, and there were more flitting eyelids and
mother was always in the kitchen, and The best of the three, in my opinion, was jams. Always looking for a way to dimin- twirled hair than at a Jonas Brothers
I was always there to enjoy the fruits the strawberry-Nutella, a combination ish the peach surplus that perpetuates inconcert. At the first bite, their eyes lit up
of her labors. As a result, I learned how of frozen strawberries, a few spoonfuls our home, my mother suggested peach like I’d just served them Brad Pitt’s abs
to cook from observation, picking it up of Nutella, and a scoop of vanilla fro- compote. on a platter.
piecemeal as I licked the batter off cookie zen yogurt. In a style reminiscent of my It sounds fancy, but it is deceptively It was a ‘mission accomplished’ mo-
-dough-covered spatulas, stole fingerfuls mother’s cooking, these were combined simple to make. Six ripe peaches boiled, ment, more G.I. Joe than George W.
of fresh whipped cream, and snuck away based on taste and texture, in no partic- peeled, sliced, and tossed in a pot with Impressed girls and satisfied friends sat
with spoons laden with fresh applesauce ular ratio. As we served the drinks to our some butter, brown sugar, cinnamon with us while my sous chef and I ate what
about to be canned. guests, however, their nods of approval and a dash of lemon juice combine to was left of the meal. My mom came home
My cooking experience remained and soft mmm’s indicated our success. make something I had believed only the to a kitchen in which I had used just over
solely observational until, as the final likes of my mother could produce. Once two dozen eggs (most sacrificed to the
days of summer ticked slowly down, I ENTRÉE combined, the mixture should be left poaching), spilled cinnamon, cream, and
came across a loaf of Portuguese sweet I discovered our second course while simmering until the peaches shrink and smoothie on three separate surfaces and
bread. The loaf sat mushroom shaped, hungrily wandering the streets of Tel most of the liquid is absorbed. As the dirtied just about every dish we owned.
golden brown and pillowy soft, unex- Aviv at some untold hour of the night. mixture boiled down the whole house But while she threatened to strangle me
plained on my kitchen counter (I would Expecting the late-night snack litany started to smell like something out of if the mess wasn’t cleaned up within the
find out later that it came from the Silver PG QJ[[B  'SFODI GSJFT  PS XPSTF  * XBT Little House on the Prairie. hour, I couldn’t help but infer a distinct
Stars Bakery on Ives Street). It was prac- ushered into a tiny café and served a As it began, the meal ended with the note of pride in her scolding tones.
UJDBMMZ CFHHJOH UP CF NBEF JOUP 'SFODI croissant, perfectly crisp and warm, Portuguese sweet bread. I soaked the
toast. topped with Gouda cheese, salami, and a soft, spongy bread in a mixture of egg, JOSH MOSES B’13 sounds fancy, but
I called a fellow bored-and-broke col- poached egg. I tried to replicate the dish heavy cream, and cinnamon before fry- is deceptively simple to make.
lege student, and we decided to plan a as faithfully as possible. Once I had slices JOHJUJOCVUUFSUPNBLFB'SFODIUPBTU
breakfast. He quickly appointed himself of aged Gouda and fennel salami neatly Two or three minutes on each side made
my sous chef, and we began to work on stacked onto open-faced croissants, I re-
UIF NFOV " TJNQMF 'SFODI UPBTU TPPO alized that I had no idea how to poach an
ballooned into a three-course meal. Our egg. Panicked, I stopped everything and Breakfast of Champions:
guest list, comprised of—conveniently ran to the computer, and the wisdom of
all female—old friends planned to arrive :PVUVCF*XBUDIFEBOEMFBSOFEBT(PS
at noon. I danced around the kitchen in don Ramsey explained how to place the
Billy -Elliot-meets-Muhammad- Ali egg gently in boiling water, and spin the Melon Mint Smoothie Shot
welter, mixing and sautéing in a cook-
ing frenzy, emulating what I had seen in
pan just right so the white of the egg
wraps delicately around the yolk. I set
Apple Cinnamon Smoothie Shot
all-night Iron Chef marathons. As our the water to boil, and when the time Strawberry Nutella Smoothie Shot
guests arrived, our first course hit the came, I stirred it furiously, creating a
blender. small vortex into which I dropped egg Open Face Croissant
after egg hoping for a positive result.
T H E S TA R T E R Then, as instructed, I spooned the eggs Sandwich with poached
We served melon-mint, apple-cinna-
mon, and strawberry-Nutella smoothie
from the boiling water and placed them
in cool water to stop the cooking and al-
egg, Gouda, fennel salami
shots. These smoothies date back from low them to firm up. If I served my eggs Portuguese Sweet Bread
high school, when, in order to combat in Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant he would
the 7:35 a.m. first bell, I developed a have punched me in the mouth before French Toast
morning routine that got me from the LJDLJOHNFPêIJTSFBMJUZ57TIPX/FW
bed and out the door in just under seven ertheless, I topped the croissants with Peach Compote
my poached eggs, broiled them until the
THEINDY.ORG 12
Sports

The World’s Manliest Sport


How Americans Are
5HGH´QLQJD(XURSHDQ
Tradition
by Abe Pressman
Illustrations by the
author
West,” and an “Alaskan Whaler” Natural
competitors choose to represent a par- Beard variant was added. Historically,
ticular beard club, which functions like Natural Beard is the one category consis-
fast rubric for judging; dimensions and
a sponsorship without financial incen- tently won by Americans.
quality of hair are often cited as deciding The 2009 WBMC marked a turning

T
tives. While the German beard clubs tend
factors but so are style and sportsman- point in the world of competitive beard
he year was 2009. ship. Many contestants are known for to boast fierce rivalries, every American
HSPXJOH'PSUIFëSTUUJNF PWFSDPO
On a cold week- wearing eccentric costumes or accesso- member, regardless of local affiliation, is
testants registered for the competition,
end in May, they ries, especially in some of the quirkier BNFNCFSPG#FBSE5FBN64" #564"

nearly 90 of them from America. Alas-
arrived by ship, DBUFHPSJFT TVDI BT 'VMM 'SFFTUZMF  XIFSF Some of the associated organizations,
kans, of course, made up a large portion
by plane, and by the truly surreal beards come to light such as the Handlebar Club, limit mem-
of the American team. The Southcentral
car to the Alaskan and the best-groomed compete for glory. bership to persons possessing a specific
city of Anchorage. TUZMFPGGBDJBMIBJS CVU#564"XFMDPNFT Alaska Beard & Moustache Club hosted
It’s not easy to maintain a beard like the contest not too far from its head-
They had anticipated this day for two Weisser’s. Before each competition, the any and all beard-appreciators. Techni-
quarters, and its members managed to
years, since the 2007 World Champion- German champion works for hours with cally, anyone—regardless of gender—
take home eight medals.
TIJQTJO-POEPO'PSUIFëSTUUJNFJOIJT a stylist, wrangling his beard into shape. can compete in the WBMC, although to
Sure, Alaska has something of a fond-
tory, an American team stood poised to And for many serious beard growers, date there have been no female competi-
ness for beards; in the words of long-
take home the most medals, confident in simply wearing and maintaining a foot- tors.
their home-field advantage and in Ger- to three-foot-long beard can become a The German beard clubs, which to- time competitor David Traver, “beards
and Alaska just go together.” But the
many’s lack of elite competitors, such daily chore. Natural Beard medalist Bob gether have sent more competitors to
Alaskans weren’t the only Americans to
BT GPSNFS 'SFFTUZMF DIBNQJPOT &MNBS Gengler has stated in interviews that the WBMC than any other country, had a
compete; California managed to snag
Weisser and Willi Chevalier, who were he has learned to drink beer through a heavy influence on the formation of the
six medals, and seven other states were
nowhere to be found. This was the World straw to avoid getting “covered in foam,” contest itself. The most obvious example
represented among the medalists. Even
Beard and Moustache Championships, while Michael Attree, Chairman and of Germany’s role is the Championship’s
Canada got in on the action, winning its
the greatest beard-growing contest in organizer of the 2007 competition, has “Imperial” moustache category, named
first medal ever (a bronze in the Natu-
the world, and Elmar Weisser’s absence admitted to wearing a protective mous- after German Kaiser Wilhelm II (but
SBM 'VMM #FBSE 8JUI 4UZMFE .PVTUBDIF
particularly reverberated throughout tache snood (a hood that fits over the known in the rest of the world simply as
a “handlebar”). category). Germany had a good showing
the event. As the sport’s signature star, moustache) at night.
Weisser is, quite simply, the World The 2007 London Championships XJUI(FSIBSE,OBQQ UIJSEJO'VMM#FBSE
Perhaps the most impressive person-
Champion of Beard. brought the WMBC a bit closer to the 'SFFTUZMFJO OEJO
BOETUJMM
ality is Willi Chevalier, another cham- took home 15 out of 54 medals.
 :PVNBZOPULOPX&MNBS8FJTTFSCZ pion hailing from Germany, whose sig- spotlight. Media coverage of the compe-
The 2009 Championships also fea-
name, but you might have seen his intri- nature beard—stylish but not overly tition was more present than ever before,
tured an Overall Best Beard award, an
cate facial hair on the internet, posted ostentatious—is often said to resemble perhaps in part due to the efforts of the
honor not given most years and perhaps
with captions like: “There is a windmill in a pretzel, spider, or octopus. Like many Handlebar Club. Photos of the event and
representative of an American drive to
my beard,” or the catchy “Don’t razor me, other veterans of the competitive beard the competitors can be found in blogs
always have a clear-cut number one. This
bro.” He burst onto the scene at the 2005 world, he is quite the showman, often and newspapers across the internet.
prize went, unsurprisingly, to an Ameri-
World Beard and Moustache Champion- dressing for the competitions in dramat- The best of these beards have been pub-
ships (WBMC), when he won the gold ic black-and-white patterned suits. lished in photographic volumes, such as can—David Traver, of Anchorage—who
wove his foot long auburn beard into
medal for a beard sculpted into a model  "GUFS XJOOJOH ëSTU JO 'VMM 'SFFTUZMF Michael Elsden’s A Gathering of Extraor-
something halfway between a fishing net
of the iconic Brandenburg Gate, a tribute in 2001 and 2003, Chevalier was forced dinary Gentleman: The World Beard and
and a snowshoe. Not quite as flashy or
to his native Germany. Even more im- to sit out the 2005 championships due Moustache Championships 2007 which
inspirational as some of the classic Ger-
pressive, for the 2007 Championships in to an accident in which his beard got features men with beards down to their
man beards, Traver’s facial hair would
London, his beard was a two-foot-wide caught in a tangle drill, tearing a third of waists, moustaches so long they curled
have undoubtedly been an underdog to
model of the city’s Tower Bridge, com- the hair off his face and sending him to back into themselves in perfect circles,
Chevalier or Weisser’s, had they attend-
plete with tiny suspension cables made the hospital for a week. At the WBMC in faces that sprouted grotesque horns and
FE :FU 5SBWFST WJDUPSZ TIPXT UIBU UIF
entirely of hair. Weisser competes in the Carson City later that year, fans printed tentacles of hair that stretched over a
world of competitive beard growing is
'VMM 'SFFTUZMF DBUFHPSZ  XIFSF BOZUIJOH t-shirts with images of Chevalier’s beard foot in every direction, and of course,
spreading out from the strictly defined,
HPFT DPOUFTUBOUT JO 'VMM #FBSE DBUFHP on them to show support. In 2007, he Weisser’s infamous bridge beard.
ordered beards of the original German
ries grow facial hair everywhere they can, returned to the competition in London,
competitions. The beards, they are a-
XIJMFUIF'SFFTUZMFDBUFHPSZTFUTOPTUZMF showing off a new look: his sideburns A N E W E R A O F CO M P E T I T I O N
changing.
restrictions, allowing free use of styling shaved and his beard, thicker than ever, The Germans did not actively boycott the
aids such as moustache wax or hair gel. 2009 WBMC in Alaska; while Chevalier  )PXFWFS  JO B #PCCZ 'JTDIFSMJLF SF
now fully white. He went on to receive turn, Chevalier re-emerged on June 5,
Typically, between 15 and 20 cat- UIFHPMENFEBMJO1BSUJBM#FBSE'SFFTUZMF  and Weisser did not release official state-
2010, to show he was a cut above the
egories of moustaches and beards are making Chevalier competitive beard- ments explaining their absence, plausi-
judged in the WBMC. These categories growing’s greatest comeback story. ble reasons abound. Most of Germany’s SFTU"U#564"T/BUJPOBM#FBSE$IBNQJ
range from the nondescript, such as the contestants are in their 50s or 60s, and onships (a competition created by—but
Natural Beard, where competitors are A B E A R D E D T R A D I T I O N contestants have to pay for their own not restricted to—Americans), he won
ëSTU QMBDF JO 'SFFTUZMF BT XFMM BT CFJOH
not allowed to use any styling aids, to The WBMC has been held every other airfare and lodgings. Alaska is a labori-
voted audience favorite. Now that Che-
UIFSJHPSPVTMZTQFDJëFE7FSEJBOE(BSJC year since 1991. It finds its roots in a Eu- ous and inconvenient trip for men used
valier has finally made it out of Europe,
aldi categories, which specify maximum ropean history of beard clubs and com- to competing in Europe.
beard lengths of 10cm and 20cm respec- petitions. London’s Handlebar Club, the And perhaps the Germans had other he has proven he can win on foreign soil
and shown that at least one German can
tively. Most moustache categories vary oldest of the twenty or so beard clubs SFBTPOTUPCFSJMFE'PSZFBST NFNCFST
still give the Americans a run for their
only by the degree or shape of the styl- that compete in the tournament, was es- PG#FBSE5FBN64" #564"
DPNQMBJOFE
money. The 2011 WBMC will be held in
ing, while partial beard categories tend tablished in the 1940s as a gentlemen’s that the beard categories unfairly favored
to cover a distinct region of the face. German beard styles, and the Americans Trondheim, Norway. The big question is
club for men with large moustaches. In whether or not America can continue its
Beards and moustaches are generally the ’80s and ’90s, “beard clubs” began to set up new categories in 2009. The Impe-
winning streak on enemy turf.
scored by a panel of judges chosen from spring up in countries all over Northern rial Beard and Imperial Moustache, two
respected members of the beard commu- Europe. By 1991, many of these clubs categories traditionally dominated by
ABE “LIGHTNING BOLT SIDE
nity, including past competitors, beard were hosting local or national beard con- Germany, were rumored to be combined
club organizers, and occasionally minor tests. into a single category (but at the last BURNS” PRESSMAN B’12 is a card-
hirsute celebrities. There is no hard-and- minute were kept separate); the Hun- DBSSZJOHNFNCFSPG#FBSE5FBN64"
In the World Championships, many
garian Moustache was renamed “Wild
13 S E P T E M B E R 23 2010 T H E C O L L E G E H I L L I N D E P E N D E N T
Literary

BROTHERS OR US

LET’S START A FAMILY BAND


There’s a dog barking somewhere
in the novel you’re reading

imagine an ice sculpture of the Titanic being


thrown at a mountain
all conceptual people are running away from
something

I thought the cigarettes and poetry would rise


and fall with each other but it’s an inverse rela-
tionship like rival brothers or us

DREAMCATS
I can understand how women’s menstrual
cycles sync up
I mean, why not?
And I can understand being passionate about
politics
:FBI TVSF HPGPSJU
I can understand why I’m appealing to a cer-
tain kind of girl,
NANCY MEYERS MOVIES but
'PSUIFMJGFPGNF*DBOUVOEFSTUBOEXIZ*
When I think my life is boring I sometimes have dreams about cats that press against my
imagine a steel spike legs like unstoppable forces herding me
pegging me to the bed or whatever Cats don’t herd, right?
like Bam, really fast What’s with these dream cats then?
pinning me like a butterfly back into myself
through the winglike undershoulder muscle

A nice steel railroad spike


Simple, timeless, clean
The impulse might be minimalist or anti-entro-

POEMS BY SAM ALPER.


pic or sick or nothing

I fucked up my teeth
for no good reason
I got lazy about my retainers and now they’re
a little crooked
My mom bought me tooth whitening gel in
syringes in case I ever wanted one of those
white teeth jobs
I really liked holding those syringes, oh yeah,
but
I got lazy about those too

I had a framed case of pinned butterflies on my


wall for years
they were lucky little guys and we got along
until a woman got between us
That’s morbid. Those things are dead.
and I just oh yeah yeah yeah

I have dreams with a granite basin of water in a CATALINA


kitchen like a
Williams-Sonoma kitchen Where mothers and father go to act cruel to pic-
It clears up all my acne and also works as a tures of their children and
decongestant smoke long thin cigarettes
That’s probably the dream I have the most to look each other in the eye, for once
stepping off the boat saying They say the island’s
My mom laughed all through It’s Complicated small but look how much there is
and I just thought I miss you Joanna, before we’ve met
It is it is it is. I see you in the library pretending to read
you gorgeous illiterate
it’s so easy to forget the shitty things you vid-
eoblog
when you make such good eye contact
I’m afraid of chickens and my memory because I
can’t tell how much of them there is
under the feathers
Oh god what if I keep this beard forever?

ILLUSTRATIONS BY GILLIAN BRASSIL.


FRIDAY | 24
8:10 PM K Ci & Jojo at Twin River Casino, Lincoln. $48-$68. I
thank G-d that I finally found you. // 9 PM Chifferobe Presents
“The Tropicale.” It wouldn’t be a tribute to Carmen Miranda
without fruit headdresses. At Cuban Revolution, Providence.
$15.

SATURDAY | 25
2 PM Brown alumna Anna Fields reads from Confessions of a
Rebel Debutante.  Coming out, indeed. At Brown University
Bookstore, Providence. FREE. // 6 PM Brown Football vs.
Harvard. First Night Game in our home stadium history.
Win or lose, at least we’re prettier. And we fuck more.
At Brown Stadium, Providence. $20 or FREE with Brown
ID // 7:30 PM Art of Attack. A play about chess, battles
of wills, brinkmanship, sibling rivalry. Bunch o’ squares,
suitable for ages 16 and up. At Mixed Magic Theatre, 171
Main St. Pawtucket. $15. // 8 PM The Ultimate Michael
Jackson Experience. This is it? A tribute show put on by an
impersonator? Thrilling. At Stadium Theatre, 28 Monument
Square, Woonsocket. $26

SUNDAY | 26
11 AM – 5 PM Fall out of Summer Arts Festival. Street and
human art, theater games, pony rides, raffles, ice cream.
At Artists Exchange, 50 Rolfe Sq. Cranston. $1. // 1:30 PM
Wickford Harbor Kayak Tour. Rock the boat, don’t tip it over.
Includes refreshments. At The Kayak Centre, 9 Phillips St.
North Kingstown. $40. // 9 PM Japanther. Dump your body
in Rikki Lake. At AS220, 115 Empire St. Providence. $6.

MONDAY | 27
10 AM – 9 PM “Cheers Through the Years,” the story of the
Patriots Cheerleaders. Your school has no gymnastics team,
this is a last resort. Through September 30. At the Hall at
Patriot Place, Foxboro, MA. Adults $10. // 6 PM How to Sit:
A Meditation Workshop. Next week: how to shake, play
dead, and roll over. At Shambhala Meditation Center, 541
Pawtucket Ave. Pawtucket. FREE.

TUESDAY | 28
5 PM Media Madness: Multiple Identity (Dis)orders in Mad
Men. A lecture by MCM Associate Professor Lynne Joyrich.
Period costume optional, reception to follow. Pembroke
Hall, 305, Brown University. FREE.

WEDNESDAY | 29
6:30 PM – 7:45 PM Collectible Comics. Get your collection
appraised by professional collectors at Lincoln Public
Library (or come for the free comics). 145 Old River Rd,
Lincoln. FREE. // 9 PM Magic Lantern Film Series at Cable
Car Cinema, Opening Day! All films and videos deal with
underwater life—which is great because how often can
you watch sexy submersion shots of Olympic swimmers
in action? 204 South Main Street, Providence. $7/ $9.

THURSDAY | 30
7 PM An Evening with Maya Angelou. Hear Dr. Angelou
speak about her own experiences with adversity and
success; a fundraiser to raise awareness about sexual
abuse. At the Providence Performing Arts Center, 220
Weybosset St # 2. Call 401-421-ARTS for tickets, $35 –
$250. // 8 PM “A Lie of the Mind,” a play by Sam Shepard,
presented by TAPS and S&B. Starring some serious
hotties. More Morgan Ritchie wrapped in Americana,
pls. Leeds Theater, Brown University. $7/$12/$17.

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