I decided to travel to US.

At The Embassy For Visa Interview, this is what happened

Officer: Where to in the US?

Me: San Jose

Officer: It's pronounced as San Hosey. J is pronounced as H in the US.

Me: Oh, okay!

Officer: So how long do you plan to be in the US?

Me: from Hanuary to Hune or Huly

A Boy On Date In BMW Car.

Boy: "I Hide Something From You."

Girlfriend: "What?"
Boy: "I'm Already Married & Have Two Child."

Girlfriend: "Ohhh, You Scared Me! I Thought The BMW Is Not Yours."

Height of internet addiction:

At a funeral in church

A visitor: What's the WiFi password here?

Priest: respect the dead

Visitor: All small letters?

Class Room is Like a Train ...

1st Two Benches are Reserved For VIP ...

Next Two Benches are General coach

Then
.

Last Two Benches are Very Demanded.

Bcz Its... "SLEEPER COACH"

A man was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbour knocking on his door one friday
evening.

She said: "I'm feeling so lonely that I can't stand it. I want to go out, get drunk & want to enjoy
my life. Are you free tonight?"

"Yes!" he replied, enthusiastically.

She said: "Wonderful. Then please take care of my kids."

The Growth Story

Me: Can you please grow?

Hair: Nah...!

Muscle: Nope...!!

Salary: Don't even dream....!!!

Stomach: Bhai tere liye kuch bhi

A student is talking to his teacher.

Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"

Teacher:" Of course not."

Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."

A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry level position.

His prospective boss asked, "Are you a smoker?"

"Not even a little," said the young man.

"How about alcoholic beverages?"

"Never touch them", he replied.

The boss smiled and asked, "So you spend a lot of time with girls?"

The applicant said "No, not really."

"So you don't have any vices?"

"Well, I do have one," he admitted.

"And what would that be?" the boss asked.

"I tell lies."

What is Object oriented programming:

Father - Son, go and get Red Label

Son - 750ml or 1 ltr??

Mother - Son, go and get Red Label

Son - 500gms or 1 kg??!!

Who is better....?

Wife or sister

Heart touching award winning answer:

Wife's sister
James Bond and a Telugu guy fly to New york in a flight.

Telugu guy takes the initiative to converse with James Bond.

Telugu guy asks the name of Bond.

Bond says: Bond! James Bond! James Bond 007!

And Bond asks Telugu Guy's name.

Telgu Guy replies: Prasad! Venkat Prasad!

Veera Venkat Prasad! Sai Veera Venkat Prasad! Srilakshmi Sai Veera Venkat Prasad!

Venkateshwara Srilakshmi Sai Veera Venkat Prasad! Srinivasukala Venkateshwara Srilakshmi Sai
Veera Venkat Prasad!

Sita Ramanjaneyula Srinivasula Venkateshwara Srilakshmi Sai Veera Venkat Prasad!

Girl : (to god) I don't want to marry. I am educated, independent

and self sufficient and don't need a husband.

But my parents are asking me to marry. What to do?

God replied : You are my finest creation and undoubtedly will achieve many great things.

But some things, inevitably, will not go the way you want.

Worst, some things will fail. Whom will you blame?

Yourself? No! You need a husband!

When your wife keeps her head on your chest and slowly asks,

"Dear, do you have any women in your life other than me"?
Remember your answer is not important at this time,

what is important is your heartbeat.

Keep your heart in control, Don't panic. It's just your biometric test.

I was in in the public restroom

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:

"Hi, how are you?"

Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"

Stall: "So what are you up to?"

Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."

Stall: "Can I come over?"

Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"

Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all
my questions!

Boyfriend : "Last night I had a dream of you".

Girlfriend (got excited): "Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa key"

Boyfriend replied : "We were traveling in bus,

Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.

Everyone swam to save their life,

but you were still swimming and searching for someone.

Girlfriend (with luv): I was searching for you, na?

Boyfriend said: NO, You were shouting,

oye,Where is conductor,He will give me 2 rupees

Son: "Mom, yesterday when i was on bus with dad,

dad told me to give up my seat to a lady."

Mom: Good, you have done right thing.

Son: But mom I was sitting on dad's lap

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?

Student: I don't know.

Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

Student: We borrow it from our neighbor..