Tuesday, June 26, 2018 6:16 PM

I'm a heroin addict. I have been for almost five years. My worst nightmare is
having m loved ones find out how much I'm struggling. It's embarassing to feel so
weak that you can't help yourself and admitting that you need help is the most
difficult decision you make as an addict. You don't want your family to see you at
your worst and you don't want to be told what to do. Nothing my family could say
would have helped me a few years ago when I didn't want to get clean myself. You
can't force someone to do what is best for them, they'll push away. I would have
taken the hard way, objecting to the help out of guilt and regret. Even today, if
they found out I would feel like my world is ending. Once people know you're an
addict, you will always be seen as an addict. This side of me is dark and depressing.
When I go see family, I want to get away from that world and return to what I had
before all of this fell on me.

Getting high is such a knee-jerk reaction when things go south. My reward center
of my brain is fucked. People who haven't done drugs will get small amounts of
dopamine released when they do very simple tasks. Eating, exercising, doing work
all gives you those rewarding happy chemicals that make accomplishing basic tasks
feel good. Now that I've shoved these artificial sources of these happy chemicals
into my body, my body has slowed/stopped producing serotonin and dopamine. Life
is even more of a struggle when you find no gratification out of simply taking care
of yourself. It takes time for the body to realize "Hey, I need to step up production
of these chemicals." It's one of the main reasons relapsing is so common for me.
You take these drugs to get to baseline, once they're gone, it is a hefty task to
relearn how to live again. Even the action of going to pick up the drugs is addictive
because of the thrill. Once you're clean, you have to learn to manage your time all
while fighting this learned instinct of feeling better immediately. It's so much more
than just getting off the drugs.

When you are sick (speaking about opiates), you feel the pull in your core. Your
body is yelling that there is something wrong. Your legs ache, no stretching will
help. You get intense cold sweats. You vomit. Everything in your mind is telling you
that with just a few bucks, you can make it all go away temporarily. While it seems
common sense to just wait it out so you don't feel like this anymore, that's how
strong the urge is. Then, after the wds are over, PAWS takes over and you
experience bouts of depression and lethargy and craving for months afterward.

It is extremely difficult to communicate these feelings to people who have never

been addicted to opiates or meth. Especially to your parents. He's got a
battleground in his head, it just comes out as anger and stubbornness. Talk to him
honestly and without judgement. You say he has no mental illness, but know that
sometimes we hide things from others because we don't want to feel vulnerable.
Wish you the best. Don't give up on him. He needs you.

Addiction is a complex beast. You just have to be a guide in the right direction.
Understand that there's no way to feel that level of sympathy with him, and that's
totally okay. It's ok to feel like you don't know how to handle this. There's no
handbook on how to deal with this. You can be an empathetic, loving role model
still. Friends come and go, but you have the ability to be the rock in his life.

If you can afford it, maybe look into therapy. Look into suboxone, methadone, and
subutex. For me, suboxone is the only reason I'm able to reach the point of being
totally sober from everything. It helps me experience what life is like clean before
really jumping ship. A lot of people, myself included, try multiple methods of
getting clean before something sticks- rehab inpatient/outpatient, addiction
therapy, general therapy, maintenance drugs. Recovery is a life long battle.

I'd also like to mention testosterone. Long term opiate use decreases testosterone
levels, making decision making and coping with normal emotions difficult. There's a
lot going on chemically that has a direct effect on how your son is processing his
situation. It's not an excuse for some things he says and does (like ghosting the
people trying to help), but it's an explanation of why addiction is so complex.

This reminds me of an old alchemical saying, "in sterquilinis invenitur". It means "in
filth it shall be found", and it refers to the fact that, almost always, we find what we
need to make progress towards meaning by exploring what we find most
unpleasant, by handling what most disgusts us, by facing what we most dread.

I can't speak for you, but I know the reason I never wanted my family to be aware
of my problems was that, at the heart of it, I knew it would make the responsibility
I had for my own actions more pronounced than ever. Secrets are easy for us to
brush under the rug when we aren't dealing with them, but we are always
responsible for what we have exposed to those who care about us.

I would feel like my world is ending.

One world has to end for another to begin, sometimes, especially when it comes to
addiction. Being honest with your family about the struggle you are facing might
just be the most important thing you can do to help yourself--in revealing your
past, you can better go about severing your connection with it.

FWIW, I was a simultaneous bulimic/alcoholic. I isolated. I allowed my living

conditions to deteriorate horrifically, to the point that I could not be more ashamed
of how I was living. The last thing I wanted in the world--I thought--was for my

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of how I was living. The last thing I wanted in the world--I thought--was for my
family to ever know the true extent of my disease.

But God, how much I was a slave to my own secrecy! How much suffering that
secrecy justified, that maldeveloped sense of security that they don't know, and the
compulsion that they can never know. What a terrible mistress!

Fight it! Tell the truth. Don't live a lie. It's not worth it, and the restrictions that
come with honesty open you up to a whole new world of agency, where you can
make decisions for yourself and your life that weren't within your capacity to think
of, let alone decide freely, when under the specter of lies that are only protecting
the behaviors that are destroying you.

Remember that this is a battle of different parts of yourself--that none of those

parts want to change, but that many of them have to if you are ever going to
change your life. Remember that there are parts of you that will try to use
deception, and rationalization, and every trick you've ever had against you, to keep
you down, to keep you in the shadows, where you're "free". You need to identify
these parts clearly and antagonize them consciously. Be aware of yourself, and
vigilant with the parts of you that are no longer acting in your interest.

Best of luck, and remember this is a war, and being honest with those who love you
can change the battlefield for the better.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/8u25e1/my_adult_son_has_a_heroinm
eth_habit_smokes_please/

The authors hypothesized that many patients who seek long-term treatment with codeine may in fact
be attempting to ameliorate problems other than pain, such as improvements in mood. In the current
study, subjects who had been using codeine at least three days per week for a minimum of six months
were recruited via newspaper advertisements and subsequent telephone screening. Subjects were
excluded if they were under 16 years of age or if they were receiving codeine for pain related to
malignancy. Eligible subjects were sent a 212 item, questionnaire consisting of the following domains:
demographics, patterns of use, past and current use of other psychotropics, health status questions
including the Symptom Checklist-90 (SCL-90), and family history of substance use and mental health
problems. Of the initial questionnaires sent by mail, 70% responded and a total of 339 subjects met the
study criteria and were included in the analysis. Among the respondents, codeine dependence/abuse
(according to DSM-IV criteria) was present in 41%. The SCL-90 scores were modestly elevated in
comparison with published norms, with the most marked elevations present on the Depression
subscale. On the Inventory of Drug Taking Situations, which provides a profile of situations leading to
drug use, the most marked elevations were present on the Physical Discomfort and Unpleasant
Emotions subscales. The authors suggest that these data are suggestive of a strong relationship between
depression and long-term codeine use. It is unclear from the current study whether the patients are
using codeine to "self-medicate" for psychiatric problems or that patients who have chronic pain are
also likely to develop depression.

From <https://www.ahcmedia.com/articles/57649-depression-and-long-term-codeine-use>

A technique is presented, and its advantages and limitations described, whereby the von Frey hairs
are utilized in establishing the average pain threshold on five sensitive face spots. This procedure is
applicable in a reasonably quantitative manner to the study of the rapidity of onset, intensity, and
duration of action of analgesia produced by drug action in the normal human subject.

Morphine, heroine, codeine and dilaudid have been studied following both subcutaneous and
intravenous injection in eight subjects as regards the analgesia, subjective depression, euphoria,
and side actions produced by these four drugs.

The subcutaneous dosages of the four drugs which produced a comparable elevation of the pain
threshold were as follows: morphine sulphate, 10 mgm.; heroine hydrochloride, 1 to 2 mgm.; dilaudid
hydrochloride, 0.8 to 1 mgm.; codeine phosphate, 64 mgm.

On this dosage basis, these drugs appear to be potent in the order named with respect to the
following qualities. Duration of action. Morphine, dilaudid, codeine and heroine. Duration and
intensity of subjective depression. Morphine, dilaudid, heroine and codeine. Euphoria. Heroine,
morphine, dilaudid and codeine. Side actions. Morphine, dilaudid, codeine and heroine.

The average time interval which must elapse after subcutaneous injection of the four drugs before
the maximum elevation of the pain threshold occurs, is as follows: Heroine, thirty minutes; codeine,
thirty to sixty minutes; morphine, sixty to ninety minutes; dilaudid, ninety minutes. After intravenous
injection, the peak of analgesia occurs at twenty minutes with all four drugs. In addition to the latter
fact, evidence is presented to show that the variations between subcutaneous and intravenous
administration result primarily from differences in the absorption rate from the skin area.

Intravenous differs from subcutaneous administration of the above doses of the four drugs as
follows: 1. A less pronounced and less prolonged elevation of the pain threshold occurs, the rise
being relatively the same with morphine, dilaudid and codeine, whereas heroine is almost as
effective as if given under the skin. 2. Greater subjective depression for a short period and less
euphoria occurs, the drugs having the same order of potency as for subcutaneous administration.

The analgesic action of these compounds appears to involve an influence upon a different
mechanism than that which is responsible for subjective depression or narcosis, since no absolute
correlation between the two could be made.

In a few experiments, where scopolamine was administered alone, an intense subjective depression
was produced which tended to lower rather than to raise the pain threshold. No potentiation of the
morphine curve was obtained when the two drugs are given simultaneously.

The observation of Mullin and Luckhardt that hypersensitivity to painful stimuli is a common sequel
to a previous drug elevation of the pain threshold, is confirmed.

From <http://jpet.aspetjournals.org/content/56/2/166.short>

Although codeine is a widely used medication, the problems of codeine abuse and dependence have not

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Although codeine is a widely used medication, the problems of codeine abuse and dependence have not
been well-studied. This study characterized regular codeine users (using at least 3 days per week for 6
months, excluding those using codeine for the treatment of cancer pain) through a self-completed
questionnaire. Recruitment through newspaper advertisements resulted in a total of 339 eligible
questionnaires. Thirty-seven percent of subjects met DSM-IV criteria for codeine dependence.
Dependent subjects (mean age, 40 +/- 10 years) were using an average of 179 (+/- 171) mg of codeine
per day. Codeine was predominantly used in the form of combination products with acetaminophen.
Dependent subjects identified specific problems causally related to their codeine use such as depression
(23%), anxiety (21%), and gastrointestinal disturbances (13%). The dependent subjects reported
problems with other drugs more than did nondependent users (alcohol, 57% vs. 26%; cannabis, 23% vs.
5%; sedative/hypnotics, 33% vs. 12%; and heroin, 11% vs. 2%, respectively). Most were taking codeine
primarily for a chronic pain problem (81%), although the dependent subjects currently found codeine
less effective for treating pain than did the nondependent subjects and were more likely to use codeine
for pleasurable effects, to relax, or to prevent withdrawal symptoms. This study showed that
dependence is associated with the regular use of codeine. Pain is a key issue with these users; however,
they are probably not receiving optimal treatment. There is a need to identify individuals experiencing
problems with their codeine use and to develop optimal prevention and treatment strategies. (J Clin
Psychopharmacol 1999;19:367-372)

From
<https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Abstract/1999/08000/Characteristics_of_Dependent_and_Nondependent.14.
aspx>

A community survey was conducted among long-term (>6 months) users of codeine-containing products
to characterize chronic use of these extensively consumed medications. Respondents recruited through
newspaper advertisements completed a mailed questionnaire. Three hundred thirty-nine completed
questionnaires were obtained, yielding a response rate of 70%. Codeine dependence/abuse as defined
by DSM-IV criteria was present in 41% of the respondents. Two thirds of the subjects had sought help
for mental health problems, most often depression (70%). Scores on the Symptom Checklist-90
subscales were modestly elevated, particularly on the Depression subscale (1.2 +/- 0.9). Long-term
codeine use is strongly associated with dependence. Depression and depressive symptoms are common.
These data suggest that dysphoric mood states may be significant in maintaining long-term codeine use.
(J Clin Psychopharmacol 1999; 19:373-376)

From
<https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Abstract/1999/08000/Long_Term_Codeine_Use_Is_Associated_With.15.aspx
>

SCL-90

This protocol involves three phases: (i) habituation (or a pretest), (ii) conditioning of an association
between the drug and a tactile or visual stimulus and (iii) a test that offers a choice between the drug-
associated cue and a neutral cue. If the drug has motivational significance, mice will spend significantly
more time (CPP) or less time (CPA) in proximity to the drug-associated cue. Potential problems in the
design and interpretation of place conditioning studies are discussed. A typical experiment lasts 2
weeks.

From <https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17487149>

Conditioned place preference (CPP)/conditioned place aversion (CPA) is a behavioral paradigm largely
based on the principles of classical (Pavlovian) conditioning. For conditioning, a distinct set of
environmental cues is explicitly paired with a particular drug or nondrug treatment, and a distinctly
different set of environmental cues is paired with a control treatment. Most commonly, treatment and

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different set of environmental cues is paired with a control treatment. Most commonly, treatment and
control pairings are repeated several times, usually once per day. Over the course of conditioning, the
rewarding or aversive treatment effects will become associated with the particular set of cues paired
with the treatment, such that in a post-conditioning test trial, these cues will elicit approach (when the
treatment had rewarding effects) or avoidance (when the treatment had aversive effects), resulting in a
conditioned preference or aversion for the treatment-paired environment (or “place”) (Fig. 1).

From <https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007%2F978-3-642-27772-6_146-2>

It is important to note that anxiety-like signs of spontaneous withdrawal may represent one of the
earliest manifestations of the withdrawal syndrome

As spontaneous startle potentiation was delayed by re-exposure to morphine, relief or prevention of

anxiety may be particularly important for motivating continued drug use. The relief of anxiety states
may provide primary negative reinforcement for ongoing drug use,

In addition, anxiety-like states may motivate drug use because they predict the subsequent emergence
of depression-like states, thus serving as secondary negative reinforcers. Finally, anxiety-like states
generated by stressful experience could also contribute to stress-induced relapse, particularly given the
common neural circuitry involved in stress-induced reinstatement

Events that occur during spontaneous withdrawal may also contribute to some of the unique effects of
intermittent opiate exposure. For example, intermittent injections of morphine produce physiological
changes similar to those caused by chronic stress changes not observed when morphine is administered
continuously

The acute withdrawal state that follows each intermittent morphine injection may contribute to this
stress-like profile. Indeed, changes in brain activity during spontaneous withdrawal could contribute to
any difference between the consequences of continuous and intermittent opiate exposure. As human
drug abuse is routinely interrupted by drug-free periods

First, signs of withdrawal develop spontaneously after just one exposure to morphine, and are likely
expressed after each intermittent exposure to an opiate. This means withdrawal is not unique to the
termination of chronic drug use, but is an intrinsic component of drug taking that may play an important
but often neglected role in the development of addiction. Second, anxiety-like manifestations of
withdrawal emerge while the animal is still experiencing a state of reward. As dysphoria and other
depression-like manifestations of withdrawal likely reflect decreases below baseline in reward system
activity, symptoms of anxiety and depression may develop at different times as withdrawal unfolds,
which could have important treatment implications. Therapeutic interventions that ameliorate
symptoms of anxiety and depression, such as KOR antagonists (Knoll et al, 2007; Land et al, 2008a; Land
et al, 2008b; Nestler and Carlezon, 2006), may prove particularly effective.

Withdrawal from chronic drug use produces symptoms of both anxiety and depression, including
restlessness, irritability, dysphoria, and anhedonia (American Psychiatric Association, 2000; Haertzen
and Hooks, 1969). The acoustic startle reflex is a validated measure of anxiety in both animals and
humans (Lang et al, 2000), and is elevated in rodents during spontaneous withdrawal from acute
morphine exposure (ie, withdrawal-potentiated startle; Harris and Gewirtz, 2004a). Other spontaneous
signs of acute morphine withdrawal in rodents, including conditioned place aversion (CPA) (Bechara et
al, 1995) and increased thresholds for intracranial self-stimulation (ICSS) (Liu and Schulteis, 2004), may
reflect states of dysphoria or anhedonia associated with depression (Barr et al, 2002; Carlezon and
Chartoff, 2007; Land et al, 2008b).

From <https://www.nature.com/articles/npp200956>

The THC place preference observed at 2.0 and 4.0 mg/kg was nearly equivalent to that produced by low
doses of cocaine (5.0 mg/kg), morphine (4.0 mg/kg), and food in non food-deprived animals. The second
experiment used a different conditioning procedure that included a washout period for THC. The results
of Experiment 2 demonstrated that a THC place preference could be obtained using a lower dose of THC
(1.0 mg/kg), and that this THC place preference was equivalent to that produced by 10 mg/kg cocaine.
At higher doses (2.0 and 4.0 mg/kg), THC produced a dose-dependent place aversion.

From <https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0024320595001918>

The aversive properties of naloxone-precipitated morphine withdrawal from acutely

administered morphine were assessed following a single conditioning trial using both
the place conditioning and the taste conditioning paradigm. In both paradigms, the
aversive properties of naloxone-precipitated morphine withdrawal were evident up to 48
h after a single injection of morphine. In neither paradigm did naloxone treatment alone
produce an aversion after a single conditioning trial. These results suggest that a single
morphine exposure produces long-lasting effects that persist at least 48 h beyond
the agonist effects of the opiate.

From <https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0091305701007249>

Lil Wayne On His DEATH Bed? The RAW Truth Behind LEAN Addiction In HIP HOP!!

Opioid Addiction Page 4

The TRUTH Behind Drinking LEAN & POPPIN XANS & How It''s DESTROYING Your Favorite RAPPERS?!?!

One of the first early signs of codeine addiction is the sense of satisfaction no matter how bad your life
goes it makes you feel like you're in control when you're not. You become a manipulative person willing
to compromise and lie to people just to get the drug, you lie to the pharmacists, the doctors your family
and friends and refuse to admit you're addicted.

Codeine is great for pain relief but abusing it is a whole different thing all together it's as bad as cocaine
and will destroy your social skills you become forgetful, out of sync with your environment, emotionally
detached at times then suddenly compassionate when you reach optimal dosage for the drug to kick in
you start to feel for people and relate to their problems then realize you've been faking it when the drug
effect wears out and go through a process of guilt and feeling depressed. You fear running out of it at all
times and stocking pills become your priority.

Codeine abuse can make you feel lonely and yet comfortable with social isolation it tricks your mind into
thinking everything is going right when it's not. You hurt loved ones sometimes on purpose just to have
something to apologize for and feel connected to your emotions. It messes up your sexual desire and
your ability to genuinely love someone. It should never be taken without strict administration especially
if you have an addictive personality.

https://www.quora.com/What-are-symptoms-of-codeine-addiction/answer/Nick-Parker-6

In my experience the most effective way to quit codeine is cold turkey. Withdrawal can be
tough, night sweats, restless legs, extreme fatigue, anxiety, depressed moods, diarrhoea,
vomiting. Usually these symptoms pass after about a week and a half. The mood disturbance
may last a bit longer.

Tapering down has never worked for me because I would just continue to abuse codeine.
Also, I would think of all the reasons why I wanted to quit. I used this as motivation. I also
replaced codeine with a healthy diet, antidepressants and a low does anti-psychotic drug. As
well as that I started praying to God and developed more of a spiritual life.

It’s not easy to quit but the worst of the symptoms last about 2–3weeks. I feel so much better
now that I’ve stopped, I now wonder why I ever took it. Well I know why I took it but I now realise I
don’t need it as I used to think I did.
I think I was using it to treat depression and anxiety. After a while codeine just numbs you out
emotionally so much. It takes away your emotions.

Also, maybe take something to help you cope when you quit. I don’t know if I would
recommend a benzodiazepine because you might be vulnerable to getting addicted to them.
Don’t find benzodiazepines addictive like a lot of people. They have hardly any effect on me.

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I don’t know if I’ve helped much with what I’ve said but just focus on all the things that will be
better in your life without it. And if you were taking codeine because you have a mental illness
such as depression, OCD or anxiety, then you really should be focused or aim to get it under
control because if you don’t, then you’ll likely reach for codeine again. Maybe be not straight
away, but you’ll always have it in the back of your mind when things get tough and you don’t
want that. Work on your issues and then you won’t need codeine to cope.

From <https://www.quora.com/How-did-you-quit-break-your-codeine-addiction/answers/67474754>

State-dependent memory or state-dependent learning is the phenomenon through which

memory retrieval is most efficient when an individual is in the same state of consciousness as they were
when the memory was formed.[1][2] The term is often used to describe memory retrieval while
in states of consciousness produced by psychoactive drugs – most commonly, alcohol, but
has implications for mood or non-substance induced states of consciousness as well.

State-dependent memory recalls a time that the organism was in a similar condition, which then informs
the decisions they make in the present

State-dependent memory happens when a new neural connection is made while the brain is in a specific
chemical state - for instance, a child with ADHD learns their multiplication tables while on stimulant
medication. Because their brain created these new connections related to multiplication tables while
the brain was chemically affected by the stimulant medication, their neurons will be primed in the
future to remember these facts best when the same levels of medication are present in the brain.

From <https://www.wikiwand.com/en/State-dependent_memory>

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