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Ayla Castano

Shannon Sanchez

English 2010

7 March 2018

Technology & Social Relationships

Have you ever been in the midst of conversing with someone, only to realize shortly

afterward they didn’t pay attention to a word you said? Have you ever been the one on the

receiving end of an interaction, and realized that you failed to interpret what another person was

expressing? While frustrating, these instances seem to be becoming more frequent and

acceptable in our daily lives. This is in part due to our over use and reliance on technology. As

Sherry Tuckle, a professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, once stated, “Just the

presence of the phone, reminds us of all the ‘else where’s’ that we could be.” This statement is

incredibly accurate as well as concerning, considering that we seem to be utilizing our phones

constantly. In 2016, Americans spent an average of nearly five hours on their phones per day,

which is approximately double the time spent in the year 2013 (Molina, SIRS). Furthermore, the

average person checks their cell phone over 100 times per day. Additionally, nearly 40% of

people check their phone while using the bathroom, and 1 in 10 use their phone while showering.

A staggering 56% of users check their phones before going to sleep and nearly 75% check their

phones after waking up. (Lage, Daily Infographic). In other words, we are eating, sleeping, and

showering, with devices that constantly push our awareness to people, places, and events that are

outside of the physical world arounds us. While many people deem the use of technology and

social media a revolutionary aspect of expanding communication, these mediums may have

unintended long-term effects on our communication, social relationships, and overall wellbeing.
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Communication:

The internet era is without a doubt, altering the way we communicate with others both

physically and psychologically. With more avenues of contact than ever before, research

suggests that although we may communicate with family and friends more often due to

technology, the quality of said communication is more feeble or weak. Studies have found that

kids who spend more time engaged with electronic devices (via iPhone, tablet, computer, tv)

compared to with other children or adults, have difficulty comprehending emotion and creating

strong relationships (Johnson, Deseret News). More so, the amount of time spent communicating

through these mediums is correlated with a lack of development in basic communication skills.

On the most fundamental level, texts, emails, and social networking sites do not suffice for the

intimacy gained in social interactions.

Furthermore, technological exchanges lack the interpretation of nonverbal

communication such as voice inflection, body language, facial expressions, and pheromones, all

of which come in to context during face to face interactions. For many, this is a concept that we

are just beginning to recognize the negative implications of. According to Dr. Kate Roberts,

while current adults may utilize technical methods of communication as a means of saving time,

overuse of such mediums in adolescents and children can affect the brain. She claims that

technology significantly alters a person’s neural pathways (Johnson, Deseret News).

Neurotransmitters are the chemicals in our brain that transmit information between nerves. They

also help to organize information collected over time as we age. In a normal development

process these pathways increase based on stimulation, like the sound of a friend or family’s

voice, touch, music, and play. However, for individuals that engage in excessive amounts screen
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time, these neural pathways change. Alternative conduits are created which ultimately affect

concentration, personal relationships, and self-esteem. As Johnson illustrated the concept, “Think

of it as the difference between looking at a picture of cool, green grass and actually walking

barefoot in it. The problem is that the more people and children interact with a person or the real

world through a screen rather than in real life, the less emotion is attached to the exchange.”

(Deseret News).

Quality of relationships:

Due to the fact that the use of technology is affecting our communication with others in

every way, shape, and form, it seems almost inevitable that it will also play a part in the quality

of our personal relationships. According to recent studies conducted by Przybylski and

Weinstein for the University of Essex, the mere presence of a phone can hinder our attempts to

make interpersonal connections (Lin, Scientific American). In this set of studies, individuals who

didn’t know one another were placed in a private booth together and told to discuss a somewhat

intimate topic for ten minutes. A desk nearby the booth had either a notebook or a cell phone on

top. After speaking, the individuals where then told to rate their relationship quality or feelings

of connection with one another. The couples that spoke in the presence of the cell phone reported

overall lower relationship quality and feelings of connection.

The study was conducted a second time with the only difference being the topic of

conversation and survey questions asked at the end. In this instance, one group was told to

discuss a very casual topic while the other was told to discuss a more intimate or meaningful one.

The participants were then asked to rate their overall relationship quality along with feelings of

trust or empathy. Initially the cell phone did not make an impact on the group who had casual

conversation. However, it made a significant impact on those attempting to have intimate

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conversations. These individuals that spoke in proximity to a cell phone reported worse

relationship quality along with less trust and empathy. These results indicate that environments

that lack the presence of cell phones appear to foster one’s perception of connection, trust, and

empathy. This is an empowering conclusion because the ability to establish such qualities are

vital foundations for building strong interpersonal relationships. Other studies have suggested

that the multifaceted use of our phones offer many opportunities for diverting our attention

therefore making it more difficult to be engaged with those that are around us (Lin, Scientific

American).

A recent photo series “Removed” captured by Eric Pickersgill and featured in The

Atlantic, attempts to illustrate the effect of electronic devices on our relationships. The series

focuses on a variety of social or intimate settings in which individuals are using their phones.

The photographer then removes the phones from their hands to emphasize the reality of

Figure 1 Couple: Mollman, Steve. “'Removed': A Photographer Captures the Isolation Effect of Cellphones.” The
Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 14 Oct. 2015.

disengagement that is taking place. (see Fig. 1)

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The result is rather alarming. It draws attention to a phenomenon that takes place every

single day, in any location, at any time, or under any circumstance however, the imagery

provided forces you to acknowledge how unnatural this particular phenomenon actually is.

Effect on wellbeing:

Due to the rate at which technology impacts our communication and relationships, it is

beginning to make a significant impact on personal wellbeing. The use of social media is

correlated with higher levels of loneliness, depression, anxiety and envy (Silva, The Huffington

Post). Social media appears to perpetuate these effects through initial feelings of disconnection

and loneliness. Furthermore, loneliness has a reciprocal relationship with social anxiety

(Graham, Psychology Today). In other words, social anxiety can increase isolation, however, too

much isolation contributes to feeling more anxious. Social media can act as a catalyst in this

cyclical process by establishing a new platform to cultivate feelings of isolation. Realistically,

feelings of loneliness increase the fewer friends one has. However, the use of social media has

increased our perceived friendship networks. It also allows individuals a way to directly observe

and quantify relationships and then compare and contrast them to their peers. Hence those that

are unsuccessful at navigating this medium may suffer from loneliness, anxiety, and overall

decreased mental health (Graham, Psychology Today).

Additionally, social media platforms allow individuals to constantly engage in upward

social comparison. Upward social comparison consists of comparing oneself to others that

possess positive or desirable characteristics. It is largely due to the curated presentations of our

positive experiences on social media. While upward social comparison can provide inspiration, it

is also known to create personal dissatisfaction and degrade self-esteem (“Social Media Use and

Self-Esteem”, New York Behavioral Health). This phenomenon takes place excessively and
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more often than not results in feelings of inadequacy oppose to inspiration. According to The

Huffington Post 60% of individuals ages 28-73 that are active on social media, admit that it has

impacted their self-esteem in a negative way. Of these same individuals at least 50% reported

social media having a negative impact on their relationships (Silva, The Huffington Post). These

results are partially attributed to the concept of upward social comparison combined with

individual’s inauthentic depictions of their lives on social media. As Stephen-Davidowitz,

illustrated the concept “Just how different is the real world from the world on social media? In

the real world…Americans spend about six times as much of their time cleaning dishes as they

do golfing. But there are roughly twice as many tweets reporting golfing as there are tweets

reporting doing the dishes.” (SIRS) This quote illuminates the inconsistencies that exist between

what we do and what we are posting about. It is vital to understand this occurrence in order to

reduce the amount of unhealthy social comparison that takes place.

At first glance, it appears that technology and social media are a modern revolution to

communication. They allow us unlimited networking opportunities at any time, in any place, all

through the simple click of a button or swipe of a finger. The use of technology has also allowed

for improvements in communication resulting in interconnected industries and globalization.

These advances have provided many innovative job opportunities as well as improved societies

overall standard of living. However, the reality of these inventions long term implications should

still be considered. While the amount of our social connections may have increased, the depth of

these connections has significantly decreased. In addition, online connections do not satisfy our

innate needs for belonging and human connection, nor do they compensate for the discrepancies

that exist with face to face vs. virtual interaction.

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In conclusion, it is no question that society’s over reliance on technology and social

media has had a significant impact on our ability to communicate, the quality of our

relationships, and our overall well-being. However, the question remains, how do we go about

altering this world-wide phenomenon? The first step in creating change is creating awareness. If

we are properly educated about the detrimental aspects of our habitual technology use, we can

choose to disengage in such behavior. Moreover, we can influence those around us to do the

same by becoming a positive example and balancing the extent to which we integrate technology

in our daily lives.

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Work’s Cited

Davey, Grahm C.L. “Social Media, Loneliness, and Anxiety in Young People.” Psychology

Today, Sussex Publishers, Dec. 2016.

Johnson, Chandra. “Face Time vs. Screen Time: The Technological Impact on

Communication.” DeseretNews.com, Deseret News, 29 Aug. 2014.

Lage, Ayana. “15 Terrifying Statistics About Cell Phone Addiction.” Daily Infographic, 10 May

2017.

Lickerman, Alex. “The Effect Of Technology On Relationships.” Psychology Today, Sussex

Publishers, June 2010.

Lin, Helen Lee. “How Your Cell Phone Hurts Your Relationships.” Scientific American, 4 Sept.

2012.

Molina, Brett. “Do Smartphones Keep Us In or Out of Touch?” Sks.sirs.com, Aug. 2017.

Mollman, Steve. “'Removed': A Photographer Captures the Isolation Effect of Cellphones.” The

Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 14 Oct. 2015.

Silva, Clarissa. “Social Media's Impact on Self-Esteem.” The Huffington Post,

TheHuffingtonPost.com, 22 Feb. 2017.

“Social Media Use and Self-Esteem.” New York Behavioral Health.

Stephens-Davidowitz, Seth. “Don't Let Facebook Make You Miserable.” Sks.sirs.com, May

2017.

“This Is How Technology Is Affecting Your Relationship.” The Huffington Post,

TheHuffingtonPost.com, 19 Oct. 2014.