Reflections

Negotiations
1. “If you want to make a deal for something, be it a house or a business, you don’t fall in love with it, you fall in like.” –
Herb Cohen
2. We studied about negotiations in this session through an experiment where half of the class was given a paragraph to
read and another half another paragraph to read. The two groups were asked to represent the two companies mentioned
in the case, one of them requiring Black Melon peel for making a medicinal syrup while the other group was asked to
represent the other company requiring Black Melon seeds for a medicinal tablet. There were limited quantities of Black
Melon in supply and the companies were required to produce the syrup and the tablet to fight with the epidemic.
Individuals were picked from the two groups and were asked to negotiate best deal for their respective companies.
3. We learnt from the experiment that due to lack of information and because being too focused on what each of the sides
wanted, both the sides could not arrive at a deal which would be of mutual benefit. Had they also focused on what other
wants, they would have easily shared the melon as each party wanted different parts of melon (seed and peel). Through
this experiment, we learnt that negotiation is an arrangement of deliveries. It is the use of information, power and skills
to affect one’s own and other’s behavior to arrive at a mutually beneficial arrangement.
4. I feel that negotiation starts when two parties begin a process to bridge differences to arrive at an agreement for a
common purpose. In my view, every negotiation is identified with some specific features, like at least two parties are
involved, and both aim at arriving at some agreement regarding their goals and interests. They know ideally what they
want to achieve. They know what they could minimally agree to. They usually do not disclose the minimum. Each one
of them pitches for the maximum. They may have plans to offer some concessions later. Each party bargains to get the
maximum in a condition of uncertainty about the other’s minimum.
5. We learnt through the experiment that Negotiation succeeds if the ranges of their acceptable goals and interests overlap
and fails if they do not.
6. In my view, the first thing in preparing for any negotiation is to gather as much information as possible to understand
the whole picture. I feel that we should gather information not only about the other party who is going to negotiate with
us but also about ourselves. In collecting this information, we should find out things like what do we need from them?
Why do we need it? What do they need from us? Why do they need it? Who are we going to negotiate with? What can
we offer? What can they possibly offer?
7. While negotiating, we often cling on to something and that is a weakness. We should be ready to walk away if required.
I remember during my job interview I expressed interest for working with a foreign client directly however I cling onto
my demand for working from Lucknow. They agreed to my second demand and told me there are no foreign clients in
Lucknow. I could not walk away.
8. What I feel is that we should never show our desperation towards closing a deal, especially a purchase deal. If a
salesperson is not willing to offer us the deal on our terms, we can walk away. When we walk out of a purchase deal,
we should never take the sales person’s card. Instead we should give our own card. The sales persons are usually under
pressure to sell and we will usually have multiple options to purchase, be it a car or a house or something else. And
sales person knows this; most likely, they will call.
9. I have experienced many times that I am able to negotiate even the delivery deadlines with my clients. I will do so till
the last moment. Then they came up with the idea of having a deadline for negotiating a deadline and I even negotiate
on that deadline. I feel ‘everything is negotiable, including the negotiation deadlines’.
10. My feeling is that emotions play a very crucial role in negotiation. It helps to show yourself weak. If it so happens that
the deal breaks down, ask the question from the other party, “Now that it is over, where did I go wrong”. They will most
likely say, “Well it’s over, we will tell you in due course where you went wrong”. And suddenly you have extended the
deadline, you have opened a window for yourself. I truly believe that continuing the dialogue is the key.
11. Breakdowns are potential breakthroughs. Every exist is an entrance somewhere else. Even if the deal breaks down, we
should try to maintain the relationship. Things are not over if relationships continue. John Kerry, in the Iran Nuclear
Deal, kept moving back the deadline. He never once stood up from the table to leave. He was there to make a deal and
when you are there to make a deal and you are not willing to leave, you are going to lose. The key learning is that
“Don’t fall in ‘Love’ with anything you are attempting to acquire. Fall in ‘Like’, care but not that much”. And we can
ask this question to ourselves, will this thing matter to me in 20 years, the answer is probably not. One must then distance
oneself.
12. This is my experience that we should always talk amicably, in a congenial fashion. It is better to maintain a low-key
pose of a calculated incompetence. No matter how brilliant you are, don’t tell the other party. Let them figure it out if
they can figure it out. It is not smart to pose smart in a negotiation. So, if I say, I am new to this organization, I am new
to this kind of deal, maybe you could help me. People generally respond well when someone asks for help. They become
co-operative. It is easy to go from being co-operative to being competitive, but it is hard to go back the other way. So,
if I start as a tough guy, and say, “You better do this now or we will do our best to put you out of business”. Then you
are not going to go anywhere.
13. I feel that positive communication is very important. Sometimes, we don’t want to answer in ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or not even
‘maybe’. Be prepared with some words which don’t mean anything yet convey that you are communicating, like ‘Aha’
or a ‘Wha’ in a positive tone. This, I have seen, helps in any given situation.
14. We need to recognize that Negotiation is a game. It is a game of life, which we always play. Whenever we reconcile
differences, resolve disputes, manage conflicts we are playing a game. When we want to influence behavior, we are
negotiating. We negotiate with our children, with our spouse, it is the crux of our relationship. And then we negotiate
in business. If we increase our skills, and care, but not that much, we will find that we are much more effective, and we
are much more satisfied about outcomes.
15. If a hard, tough guy comes and is making all sorts of statements of what he wants us to do and what he wants, it is all
about him, keep listening to him, keep taking notes, make him talk as much as he can, make him feel that he can work
with you, he feels confident. He feels he is smarter than you and can easily win over you. What you have done is that
you have allowed him to invest in you. Once people have invested, it is very difficult for them to divest. It is hard for
him to walk away. “The more energy spent in pursuit of a goal, the more desirable that goal becomes”. I have seen
people spending time in front of the slot machines in Casinos, they have lost like 80% of their cash in hand, and if
someone tells them, “Why don’t you try another machine”, they wouldn’t move. They are invested in the machine, and
think the machine is bound to pay them off now. And that is human behavior.
16. My key learning from the session was “Identify common grounds rather than just focusing on your goals and work
towards achieving it. Reflect on the situation, see from where the other person is coming from and what are the ways
in which you can help her.”
17. We can all live peacefully by disengaging ourselves from conflicts, by living a passive life. However, a good life is not
a passive existence but a life where we get involved, we live and help others live and we make continuous efforts to
improve each other’s lives. It is therefore important that we learn the art of Negotiation. I continue to learn more and
more about negotiation each passing day and I will keep learning and practicing it in my professional and personal life.