Katie Covieo March 26, 2018 U5 Essay 2 Good Parents

Question:

Based on your life experiences, what makes a good parent? What makes a bad parent?
Does your definition of what makes a good or bad parent change depending on the age of
the child? Should our parenting styles or techniques change as our children get older or
should they stay the same? Explain. In your family of orientation, what child-rearing
attitudes (authoritarian, permissive, or authoritative) predominated? What impact did you
parent’s child-rearing attitudes have on you? Interview either one or both of your parents,
or the parent’s of a close friend or relative. What are their greatest joys and challenges as
a parent? What would they do differently? What would they do the same?

Word Count: 588

Answer:

Based on my life experiences, a good parent is someone that is present and

involved in your life. By present, I don’t mean just physically present. Being present is

physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. I believe that another quality of a good parent is

compassion and understanding of the child, regardless of whether or not they agree with

things. Being a good parent means the child always understands that they are loved, cared

for and supported through everything that life hands them. I also believe that being a

good parent doesn’t necessarily mean you are the perfect parent. A good parent is

someone that takes care of themselves first, so that they can show up for their children

and be available to them. A good parent does what they can to prepare their children for

the world, as well as their future.

I believe that a bad parent puts their children in situations that are dangerous and

harmful. A bad parent is abusive and does not put their child’s needs first. A bad parent is

verbally abusive and puts their child down by calling them names or swearing at them.
Another trait of a bad parent is neglecting the children, and not making themselves

available or providing a safe environment for them.

My definition of what makes a good and bad parent does not change depending

on how the child is. The needs of the child may change, and the roles of parent and child

may change but once you become a parent, you always have those parental instincts. The

bottom line is that regardless of how young or old the child is they should always feel

loved and supported by their parents.

In my family of orientation, my parents practiced authoritative child rearing

attitudes when raising children. According to the textbook, authoritative child rearing

means, “A parenting style that recognizes the parent’s legitimate power and also stresses

the child’s feelings, individuality, and need to develop autonomy” (Strong & Cohen,

2017, p.390). My parent’s were very supportive in allowing me to be who I was, and

explore things that interested me. I believe this helped my self-esteem, and my ability to

excel in sports and school.

I interviewed my mother prior to doing this assignment, and I wasn’t surprised at

all by her response. My mother said that the greatest joy that came with being a parent is

watching each of her four children chase their dreams, and become who they wanted to

be. My parents were and are still very supportive. Each of us children have chosen our

own path in life, and we have been supported the whole way. She said that the happiest

moment in her life has been watching each of her kids become parents themselves. My

mother’s biggest challenge has been watching me struggle with drugs and alcohol

throughout my life, and not be able to save me. She blamed herself for a very long time

for the choices I was making, and it wasn’t until recently that she was able to let go of
that, and allow me to take accountability for my actions. On the other hand, seeing me get

clean and sober and make a better life for myself has been so very rewarding.

In closing, both of my parent’s said that they would not do anything different in

raising their children. They believe that everyone chooses their path in life, and

regardless of the trials they may go through, it is to help shape them into the person they

are.

References

Strong, B & Cohen, T.F. (2017). The Marriage and Family Experiences: Intimate

Relationships in a Changing Society (13th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

Katie Covieo April 2, 2018 U6 Essay 1 Family Violence

Question:

Family violence occurs to both males and females. Many people in abusive relationships
never thought they would find themselves in that situation. Although you hope to never
be in this situation, what would you do if you were? Describe what you would do if you
were subjected to spousal abuse? What would you do if your spouse were abusing an
elderly parent? What would your response be if your spouse was abusing your children?
What would you do if your spouse became an alcoholic? Are there things you can do to
prevent these situations from occurring?

Word Count: 597

Answer:

I believe that family violence is more common and prevalent than we, as a society

believes. Growing up, I never imagined I would find myself in an abusive relationship or

become subjected to violence, especially within a relationship. The household that my

parents created was one of peace, love and respect. In fact, I didn’t know anything about

abuse or violence until I found myself in a violent and abusive relationship myself.

Having gone through it, I would do things completely different if I ever found myself in

the situation again.

In 2011, I got into a relationship with a man and at the time I didn’t see any

warning signs or red flags. The textbook refers to our relationship as: Intimate partner

abuse or Intimate partner violence which means, “Terms currently used to address the full

scope of violence and/or abuse among intimate couples, regardless of gender, marital

status, or sexual orientation” (Strong & Cohen, 2017, p.450). We were not married,

however we were in an intimate relationship, and we also lived together. He was

physically abusive, held me in the house against my will, emotionally tormented me and

did everything he could to maintain dominance over me and the relationship.

 Having been through the sheer pain and agony of that relationship, and being

lucky enough to survive it, I now know what to look for and how I would handle the

situation in the future if I was ever in that situation again. I would look for red flags such

as: controlling behaviors, degrading comments or saying things to put me down, and

jealousy. If I saw any of these signs I would get out immediately, as hard as it may be. I

know that there are resources and places to go for men or women that find themselves

exposed to domestic violence or abuse.

If my spouse was abusing an elderly parent I would report it, no questions asked. I

wouldn’t even let my spouse know that I was reporting it because he could turn on me.

The same goes for abuse of our children, or any children for that matter. I would speak up

and let him know that it is absolutely not ok, and then I would do anything I had to do to

get the children or the elderly parent out of that situation. Having knowledge of any abuse

going on gives me an obligation to do something about it. I would contact the authorities

because someone that is capable of abusing an elderly person or child will continue doing

it until they get help, or legal action is taken. The last thing I would do is to file for

divorce, or permanently remove myself from the situation. I would not stay in a

relationship with an abusive partner or husband.

If my spouse became an alcoholic, I would do anything I could to help them get

help or into treatment. I know that there are a lot of options out there for people

struggling with alcoholism or addiction. Having been through that myself, I would have

compassion and understanding for them. I would take him to an Alcoholics Anonymous

meeting and introduce him to people that can support him if he wants to stop drinking or

using.
 I believe that the only thing I can do to prevent these situations from occurring is

to watch for warning signs. I will continue to pay attention to how situations make me

feel, and not ignore them. There are usually always warning signs, or red flags that can

signal when something isn’t right.

References

Strong, B & Cohen, T.F. (2017). The Marriage and Family Experiences: Intimate

Relationships in a Changing Society (13th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

Reflection:

Katie Covieo
FHS 2400 – Marriage and Family Relations

Doing this assignment has helped me focus on the school wide requirement of
submitting an ePortfolio for every class in order to pass the class. I am now more
comfortable building and navigating my way through the website that I created. I was
able to connect this class with the Drugs and Society class I took last semester. I now
have the ability to connect things that I learned in both classes.
In order to complete this assignment, I first needed to pick two of my favorite
essays that I did this semester. I learned how to properly write an essay, and I feel very
comfortable with my skills in essay writing now. I uploaded my essays to my website and
I feel comfortable with my skills doing that as well. My signature assignments show my
ability to think outside of the box and apply the material to my own life.