Volume 25, Number 5 September & October 2010 • A publication of the Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo

po County

Cover sculpture: “Venus” by Mary Dee Thompson

2 Women’s Press
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Women’s Press September & October 2010
Letter from the Editor Cover Artist
Courtney’s Quill Mary Dee Thompson
I have loved art most of my life and have
A few weeks ago, I took my kids on a trip to the Pacific Northwest, specifically Oregon, where been sculpting since the seventies. While
we traveled almost all over the state. While in Portland, my daughter Maddie, noticing all the I occasionally work in clay, I prefer
homeless people in the city, quipped, “Man, if I were homeless, I’d want to live in San Luis Obispo working directly in wax and casting in
where the weather is much better.” While a cute observation, she isn’t much off. The Maxine Lewis bronze. My work is generally figurative
Memorial Homeless Shelter and the Prado Day Center both report an increase in their popula- and small in scale. My earlier work was
tion. Furthermore, according to a study conducted by the National Association of Home Builders, heavily influenced by Henry Moore with
taken during the second quarter of 2010, San Luis Obispo county ranked 3rd on the list for least a focus on the female form.
affordable places to live. We fall only below New York City and San Francisco.
In my current sculpture, I playfully
With such high prices, perhaps there’s a correlation between how many people are struggling in explore the human form. I find natural
this economy in this county. Sadly, not a day goes by that I don’t notice someone on the street materials that suggest a figure. I then
asking for help. Fortunately, I also notice how many people in this community strive to give back. more fully develop the figure with wax
As we enter the holiday months, I implore you to give back, and as our next Voices around the and cast it directly into bronze using
Table asks, “How do you give back to your community?” I’m interested in what you’re doing. You the lost wax process. I apply patinas to
can send your responses to womenspress.slo@gmail.com. the cast piece to express the underlying
feeling of the work.
If you have an opinion that warrants more than just a few words on the subject, write an article
and send it in. Our deadline for the November and December issue is October 10th. With an array While my current work is clearly influ-
of articles and opinions to publish for our county to read, I’m sure we can enlighten our viewers enced by Giacometti, it expresses my own
about the many ways we can help others in our county. personal vision—one that is whimsical,
imaginative, and feminine.
Courtney Brogno
Women’s Press
Voices, views, and visions of the women of San Luis Obispo County, California
6,000 free copies distributed in SLO County • Subscriptions are available
contributors volunteers WCC Submissions welcome
Sonia Paz Baron-Vine Jane Hill Women’s Community Center
The Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo
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Inglis Carre-Dellard June Beck Resource Center, exists to educate, enlighten, and
A 501(c)3 not-for-profit
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public corporation
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express and develop themselves to be a center for the
Laura Grace Shantel Beckers PO Box 15639 repository and exchange of information of interest
Judythe Guarnera Suzanne Delinger and concern to women through workshops, seminars,
San Luis Obispo CA 93406
Hilda Heifetz Renee Sante classes and other outlets; to facilitate communica-
Lisa Jouet Office located at tion with other women’s resources both locally and
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wccslo.blogspot.com
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Let Your Belly Dance
By Hertha Wolff-Arend
On my last trip to Germany, I made an
interesting discovery. My old and very good
friend told me that she had joined a belly
dancing group. Wow! I was impressed and
frankly this was the last thing that I would
have expected from her. I had known her
more as an athlete. She liked to bike and
swim, or she was running around town on
her rollerblades. What had happened to
her, or had I simply failed to perceive who
she really was? Anyway, I was very excited
to join her at her next belly dancing class to
see what I obviously had not seen before in
my friend.
Before I talk about what I experienced with
that group, I must first share with you my
prejudices. I thought belly dancing was
for slightly overweight, but very female
looking women. It was an erotic dance for
women that enjoy showing off their curves.
The music gets on my nerves if I am not
used to it, like listening to heavy metal in
your 80s. That’s enough confession about
my prejudices right now. Let’s move on to
what I actually experienced after I decided
to encounter this event with an open mind
and a lot of compassion.
My friend introduced me to the group of
women participating in the class. What I saw
was not what I had expected: living proof
that any prejudices are worthless and unfair.
I met a group of maybe ten women. They
were practicing for an upcoming show and
there was a lot of excitement and chatting in
the room. The participants’ ages ranged from
the mid-twenties to the mid-sixties. They
were the nicest women you can imagine
and by far neither overweight nor showing
off or exposing various body parts. There
were retired women, an actress, a house-
wife, a manager... you name it. Their bodies
varied too. Some were rather skinny, others
more slender or a little bit chubby in certain
areas. Some women moved smoothly, others
moved a little bit more stiffly, but what they
all had in common was a certain feeling for
rhythm and music. They obviously had a lot
of fun, and I witnessed female power and
spirit at its best. What an experience!
The group practiced their show dance
on and on, and I could not get enough
watching them. They moved their hips and
bellies in a way that I could not. They obvi-
ously managed to build a lot of stomach
muscles and their bodies radiated the
message: Look at me; I am beautiful; I am
self-confident; I am in connection with my
body. What a delight to watch them. All of
the women expressed beauty and elegance in
their dancing that had nothing to do with
perfection. There was no perfect body, but
they all looked fantastic and in synch with
their inner -self when dancing.
I learned a lot that afternoon, and one big
learning definitely was that belly dancing is
not just an ordinary dance, but a wonderful
form of being a woman. It does not matter if
you are skinny or chubby, young or old, tall
or short, or whatever. What counts is that
you are in synch with yourself. It is impor-
tant that you are able to accept who you are
—the total package.
Women are often unhappy about their
looks and do not accept what they see in the
mirror. The media feeds us with pictures of
beauty that we feel we cannot compete with.
Forget all that! Instead embrace who you are
and also love the little imperfections we all
have. Beauty has nothing to do with per-
fection but with attitude and acceptance.
If you still do not believe what I am saying,
join a belly dancing group and experience it
for yourself. For me the whole event was an
eye opener. Suddenly even my athlete friend
Body & Soul 3
Photo by Afonso Lima
appeared to me in a new light. I saw her
femininity and beauty in a way I have not
seen before. When she danced to the music,
I saw a beautiful and self-confident woman
through and through, and that confirmed to
me that we are what we feel and not what
we pretend to be.
If you want to find encouragement and
empowerment, I invite you to visit my blog:
www.beawomanandactlikeone.com
Hertha Wolff-Arend is a business coach and
writer located in Paso Robles, California. She
used to write a column for a local magazine,
she gives motivational speeches before women’s
organizations and events, and she works with
local business owners and managers to support
them in their leadership skills and personal
development. Hertha is devoted to support-
ing women in business, with a focus on women
in middle management who are aiming at
a career in the higher ranks or who want to
develop their own business. For more informa-
tion visit her website: www.HWA-Coaching.
com or read her blog, address above.
4 Body & Soul Women’s Press September & October 2010

Caring for your Soul

By Laura Grace

The soul looketh steadily As much as our egos tend to yearn for A few weeks ago, as the Spiritual Leader of includes listening to music that
material things, sexual fulfillment, excite- the Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment, I con- awakens deep feeling, digging and
forward creating a new world ment, recognition, a feeling of importance, ducted my final service. Arriving at the decision planting in the dirt, driving down
before her, leaving worlds financial security, our soul appreciates to release this role, after experiencing so much country roads with the top of my
depth, heart, connection, and personal sub- love from countless people, was challenging on car down, andPhoto
deeply inhaling
Bernatthe
behind her. stance. In the book Care of the Soul by many levels. And on the surface, my decision
by Marek
salty ocean air as I walk along the
–Emerson Thomas Moore, he states: “Soul is nothing was confusing to many, but I am reminded that beach all nurture my soul.
like ego. Soul is closely connected to fate, the human soul is not meant to be understood.
As I sit down to write this article, I am and the turns of fate almost always go It is meant to be authentic, to ask the hard ques- What are some ways that you could
still reflecting on a walk I took less than counter to the expectations and often to the tions and be willing to be true to ourselves despite bring more soul into your life
an hour ago. It was a soulful journey desires of the ego.” pressure and expectation from others. In 1890, today? Slowing down? Reflecting?
along the Pacific shoreline. These walks writer Elizabeth Cady Stanton expressed, “Your Walking barefoot in Nature?
have become a time for caring for my soul Currently, I am experiencing a “soul-shift.” soul longs for you to journey deep within to find Sipping a cup of tea while reading
because it is on these walks that I feel most I’ve been through this a few times before the compelling answers to these questions. The a good memoir? Treating yourself
connected to what is most important, to and have learned to recognize the signs moment we begin to to a movie that has heart and soul?
cultivating depth and sacredness in my that precede the shift: a subtle yet con- fear the opinions Sending a friend your favorite poem
life. Not an easy thing to do when, like sistent “nagging” feeling that it’s time to of others and or spiritual quote? As we care for
many women, I feel responsible for taking expand beyond my comfort zones. Feelings hesitate to tell our own souls, may we remember
care of others, sometimes at the expense of of vulnerability, excitement, then fear inev- the truth that is what Emily Dickinson meant when
my own needs. itably surface, signals that I am “on my in us…the divine she once wrote: “The soul should
way.” Where I’m going is not always clear. floods of light and always stand ajar, ready to welcome
One of the things I’ve learned over the I just know I’m on the precipice of experi- life no longer flows the ecstatic experience.”
years is that soul doesn’t automatically encing yet another dimension of my soul’s into our souls.”
flow into our life, it entails attention and wondrous destiny and that there’s no guar-
skill. Some of the symptoms we may expe- antee where it is leading me. I experienced a And now, in the spirit
rience when we’re living a less than soulful soul-shift when I left my ex-husband, when of calling forth more soul Laura Grace is the Spiritual Leader
life include: yearning for personal ful- I resigned from the corporate world and into my life, I am taking a for the Circle of Spiritual
fillment, hunger for spirituality, loss of committed my life to service, when I moved three month sabbatical to Enlightenment in San Luis
values, emptiness, depression, and disil- across the country from the Midwest to feed my soul, something I’ve Obispo (www.spiritualcircle.
lusionment about work/marriage/family/ California, and now as I write this article. never given myself permis- org), an interfaith spiritual com-
relationship. sion to do before. Culinary munity. Laura is also a teacher
classes, artwork, spiritual and spiritual director, and a
retreats, international travel, member of Spiritual Directors
and writing are part of my three International. A syndicated col-
month plan, but I’m aware that umnist for more than twenty
I don’t have to go anywhere to publications, Laura has penned
experience more soulfulness. For 200 articles on spiritual growth
me, capturing the song of my soul and is the author of the books
Gifts of the Soul and The
Intimate Soul.

Photo by Bianca Meyer geb. Bollmeirer

Women’s Press September & October 2010
Open Your Heart And I Am There
by Barbara Atkinson
“The only internal relationship
anyone ever has is with the higher
Self... Self-love grows when you refuse
to follow the impulses of anger and
fear, trust that the universe is on
your side, form your desires from the
heart and
watch
the
higher
Self
carry
them out,
believe that you
are enough in and
of yourself… put your
attention on positive
energies in every
situation, honor
your own needs
without having
to seek outside
approval, and cultivate the peace of
inner silence.”
–Deepak Chopra
Most of us equate an open heart with love,
unconditional love being its highest form.
I suggest that an open heart is not an out-
pouring of emotion-filled sentimental love
toward everyone (which can
lend itself to condoning mis-
treatment of yourself and others
and excusing unacceptable
behavior). Rather, an open heart
is a grateful heart; it receives love by
releasing resistance — the resistance
we have to forgiving ourselves and others,
thereby accepting self-love and gratitude for
All There Is. This sets the stage for uncon-
ditional love, compassion, a love not clearly
understood. Unconditional or compas-
sionate love accepts others as they are and
wishes them no ill-will, i.e., we are without
malice and desire only good for them. It’s
a love that is birthed in the center of our
being, the solar plexus, and then expressed
through the heart, because, on its own, the
heart can be led by emotion. Therein lies the
confusion. A pure heart works in concert
with the intuitive, discerning solar plexus.1
In themselves, the universal language of
emotions acts as inner messengers (gut
feelings) with information to be valued and
honored. You’ve heard that your identity
does not lie with your thoughts; well, they
don’t lie with your emotions either. You are
called to identify with your Divine nature,
your true self, not your personality. You have
a personality; it isn’t who you are.
Emotions can help us form attractions and
bonds to a partner, our children, our culture,
and the beauty around us. Nevertheless,
emotions can be picked up from others
and also be distorted by inner shadows.
These can lead love to express itself as zeal
and projected angst allowing us to follow
harsh dictators (both without and within),
national and cultural aggression, and mis-
interpreted religious beliefs that persecute
others in the name of Love, God, Allah, or
the like. Even though we may deeply love
our spouse, children, and friends, most of
us have tossed judgments or verbal assaults
their way at one time or another or repressed
them into self-loathing. By attaching to our
emotion — i.e., assuming it is part of who
we are ­— we associate a reason to blame it
on, projecting anger and frustration that
gives form to shadow. This is reacting rather
than responding to what these non-judg-
mental emotions are trying to tell us about
ourselves or others: emotions leading as
opposed to emotions informing.
How do we reconcile these disparities of
love? By releasing resistance and recogniz-
ing that compassionate love is a by-product
of self-love, the doorway leading to it. When
you open your heart with gratefulness and
give way to accepting, respecting, and loving
yourself, you receive the power of grace
that has been waiting for you: the blos-
soming of the higher Self (inner Christ,
Buddha, Goddess, etc.). Then, and only
then, are you capable of compassionate love.
You express the divinity and harmony that
lives in everyone and pervades all life. Ego
no longer runs the show; it is now in service
to Spirit. This self-love necessitates an end
to the inner struggle of ego-in-charge, the
cause of distress in all of us (because ego
is unable to detach from the outcome or
wanting control). Whether our bodies are
healthy, diseased, or otherwise suffering,
releasing resistance to this grateful love
brings us peace. It is the whole point of the
inner journey; all woes boil down to its sup-
pression. It entails facing and embracing
our fears, negative habit-thinking, regrets
and denials, and taking full responsibility
for ourselves: no victim thinking, martyr
behavior, projected angst, or ego inflation
When we take responsibility for ourselves by
opening our heart, we stop chasing imper-
fections, accept what is with gratefulness,
and recognize we are enough. (This is not
resignation; accepting what is brings about
an opening for change, movement and trans-
formation.) Grace intervenes and we hold
ourselves in the embrace of loving kindness.
This grace awakens the wisdom and creative
power of the Self, a wonder to behold.
Accepting what is (ourselves as we are; the
situation as it stands) without judgment or
attachment to the outcome, allows the Self
to be liberated and take the lead; it is rec-
ognition of ego’s powerlessness to end the
inner struggle. This recognition is what is
meant by humility.
Until our own inner work is done, we often
meet others at the level of our misperceptions
and wounds, thereby having the opportunity
to move ourselves into harmony. Then, as we
become more aligned with Spirit, we begin
to meet the other with Divine clarity. We’re
no longer sidetracked by the distortions of
the other; rather through compassion, we
see the Divine in the other. This is where
we connect. This is where all harmonizing
occurs. The grateful love that emanates from
a resurrected Self can do no less than rec-
ognize its reflection in everything else. It is
our innate nature: how we see and treat our-
Body & Soul 5
selves is reflected in how we see and treat
others. We often give ourselves away by
what we criticize, harshly judge, and find
fault with in others. If we hold other’s feet
to the fire, our own feet also burn with
self-judgment and recrimination, whether
conscious or deeply buried. At the same
time, it is healthy and normal to discern
with whom we feel comfortable and wish
to spend time, and with whom we don’t.
Even in families, we may find we have an
attachment of birth, but not an intimacy
of friendship. It is not that we have a
“kinship of personality” with all whom
we encounter. Rather, what we recognize
and acknowledge is our kinship of Spirit.
As we release resistance to accepting
ourselves, our grateful heart is opened
to receive the grace of compassion for
others in the solar plexus of our being.
That compassion allows us to move out of
reaction and realize, just as we did with
ourselves, that the wrong turns, unkind-
ness, even brutalities, put forward by
others are based on their own self-judg-
ments, distortions, and suppressed hurts
projected outward — we can forgive
others even as we hold them accountable
for their actions. With this pure heart
(gut and heart in concert), we bring forth
the higher Self and cease to attract nega-
tivity and radiate the peaceful embrace of
unconditional, compassionate love.
1
  The solar plexus is both a spiritual energy
center in many belief systems and scientifically
has been found to house many nerve recep-
tors. A network of nerves in your belly is in
constant communication with your brain; it’s
often referred to as the brain in the gut. Notes
professor Kevin Olden, MD, “Gut feelings are
a very definite form of information,…called
the enteric system, it contains over 100 million
neurons. That’s more than the spinal cord.”
UCLA gastroenterologist, Emeran Mayer, the-
orizes that, “As much as 80% of our
well-being might come from the
complicated interplay between
the brain in our head and
the one in our gut.”
6 Body & Soul Women’s Press September & October 2010

Accepting More
By Ruth Cherry, PhD

Surrender is the mid-life stance. We have
had decades to ‘run our will’ and we have
seen the results. It has been fine (or it hasn’t)
but now it’s time to move on. We sense
deeper rumblings and we want to give them
their due. We choose not to do 30 more
years the way we’ve done the last 30 because
we know there’s something more. We may
not be able to define it, but in our souls we
know that ‘this’—whatever form ‘this’ has
taken—can’t be It.
We long for a greater meaning and it’s
with more than hope that we count on it.
We listen to our intuitive glimpses acutely
and though we may not be able to rational-
ize them, we know we must follow them.
If we don’t, we have pulled the curtain on
our own life and suddenly that becomes the
greatest crime there is — to curtail our indi-
viduality ourselves.
We are willing to embrace a vulnerability
that before has scared us. It seems OK to
announce to the world that we don’t know
exactly what we want or what we are doing
or even who we are becoming. Committing
to the process of living our lives momen-
tarily with presence and passion is all that
is really important. Particular outcomes are somewhere in the middle of us, nearer our our creativity. We live from our souls. We
irrelevant now. They were all consuming hearts but even deeper. And we realize that feel our connections to others, maybe even
in the first half of our lives when we could living from our centers is essential: that we folks we haven’t met and join with them in
tolerate extended education and entry level are not truly alive if we don’t. And we are their struggles. Our compassion flows from
jobs for what we saw could be, some far off not alive if we know the last step before we some place deeper within ourselves than we
day in the future. take the first. We yearn for an adventure of a have lived for most of our lives.
sort that we’ve never taken. An adventure of
Well, now that far off day is here. We have our spirit. And that demands complete sur- The aliveness we feel when we surrender
paid our dues. Maybe we have ‘arrived,’ render and trust. compels us to surrender again the next day
but whether or not we’ve been rewarded and the next and the next. By surrendering
for our efforts, we’re not satisfied. And we That surrender, when it finally happens, we acknowledge a force we do not control
can’t convince ourselves that setting another when we’re finally willing to climb into and we commit to work with it. This part-
goal and embarking on another project will the back seat and go along for the ride, is nership answers our longing for something
assuage our restlessness. We know how to freeing in a way we’ve not experienced. The more, something deeper, something lasting.
do that. We’ve done it. Over and over and joy is intoxicating as we realize there aren’t This union feels like a reunion—that we
over again. So why do it one more time? any more shoulds and that any limits are have come back not only to a part of our-
Suddenly we can’t spare the energy or the self-imposed. Or, more specifically, mind- selves but to a home we had forgotten. There
days which seem to be dwindling increas- imposed. But our minds are not where our is a rightness and an indefensible certainty
ingly rapidly. Wasn’t it only yesterday when, allegiance lies anymore. We’ll never lose our that living in partnership is the only way to
at 25, we embarked on our ‘life work?’ good judgment, but we’ve moved to a deeper live now that makes any sense. It looks on
level where thinking restricts our aliveness the outside like it makes no sense at all, but
And it’s been great, but there’s more. Deep and we cannot tolerate anything, anything, in our hearts, we sigh and say, ‘it’s good to
in our souls we know there is more. There that artificially limits that spirit inside us. be home.’
has to be. We’ve mastered every challenge
life has presented us and … now what? We align with our life spirit and by commit- Ruth Cherry, PhD, is a clinical psychologist
ting to follow it, we surrender. And we are in private practice in San Luis Obispo, CA.
Our minds can’t answer that question. So completely ready and able to do so. Even if Her specialty is midlife when psychological and
we move out of our minds. That isn’t where we can’t leave our jobs because there are still spiritual dynamics merge.
our dissatisfaction originates anyway. It’s children in school, we find expressions for

Nurturing Knowing and Being Known

By Jeanie Greensfelder

My parents were private people, not sharing Once we experience being known, we can Notice when you feel good with people and
feelings with each other or their children. I practice offering the gift of deep listening to when you don’t and why you think that
guessed a lot about who they were and how another and asking, “Is there more?” when a might be. Who brings out the best in you?
they felt, and realize that many in their story or feeling is shared. Journalist Brenda Why? Who are the people you’d like to
generation were unaware of the value of Euland wrote “Listen to your wife, your know better? During a day be curious about
knowing themselves, knowing others, and husband, your father, your mother, your people you come in contact with. Wonder
being known. children, your friends; to those who love who they are and what guides them. When
you and those who don’t, to those who bore possible ask a question. There is always more
“I see that I am being seen, therefore I you, to your enemies. It will work a small to learn about loved ones. Attentive listenin-
exist,” a line by British psychoanalyst, D.W. miracle.” gis one of the most valuable gifts we can
Winnicott, illustrates the life-giving impor- give another person.
tance of having someone in your life who As a therapist, wife, mother, friend, and
knows you and appreciates you. Sharing fellow human being, I’ve had the privilege
who we are with another helps us to know of witnessing the miracle of listening. While
ourselves. Of course, this can be a primary we each experience unique, amazing lives, amuseandmuse.blogspot.com
benefit of psychotherapy. we all have fears, the longing for love, and slocoastjournal.com/docs/geniespocket.html
the desire to be valued.
Women’s Press September & October 2010 Body & Soul 7
Spirituality Matters

Ovarian Cancer Clinical Trials Gives New Hope For Patients Conscious Compassion
By Heather Mendel
By Lori Hanna Robertson
and seeks to find better ways to prevent, receive this treatment in San Luis Obispo The Olympian orcas arc smoothly in and
South County Patients diagnose, or treat cancer. Local clinical County did so in a clinical trial through out of the water, thrilling all in the nearby
Are Receiving Best Ovarian trials have been available since 1994 thanks my office,” says Dr. Palchak. “GOG-0218 zodiac, bobbing up and down on the gentle
to the efforts of Dr. Palchak and his affilia- defined a new standard for the treatment of swell, close enough to glimpse the graceful
Cancer Treatment tion with the University of California, San ovarian cancer for researchers. While this black and white bodies revealing, then
Dr. David Palchak’s oncology practice in Diego and in association with the Cancer new treatment is not yet FDA approved, it concealing themselves beneath the water
Pismo Beach is proud to announce that a and Leukemia Cooperation Group B and remains available through another clinical surface. Out of human sight, they feed on
national clinical trial testing a new ovarian Clinical Trials Support Unit. trial available in my office.” some of the ocean’s smaller creatures. The
cancer treatment has proven superior to squawking gulls above noisily vie for their
standard treatment. This achievement puts In this latest ovarian cancer clinical trial, Dr. A menu of clinical trials is available for more share of the spoils.
the drug, Avastin, one step closer to FDA Palchak and his research team participated than half of patients with ovarian, breast,
approval for use in ovarian cancer patients. in GOG-0218, a clinical trial to test the lung, gastrointestinal, and prostate cancers. One cannot help but stand in awe of the
effectiveness of Avastin with chemotherapy To learn more about all of the clinical trials natural order that when unimpeded by
Clinical trials are research studies in in the initial treatment of ovarian cancer. available please contact Dr. Palchak’s office human interference and greed, seamlessly
which people can voluntarily participate. Avastin works by inhibiting the growth of at (805) 474-9143, or visit the website at cycles and evolves. From the tiniest organism
Each study addresses scientific questions new blood vessels. “The first two women to www.centralcoastoncology.com. to the most majestic animals that populate
ocean, air and land, life needs to be taken so
that life can be maintained in the ‘eat or be
eaten’ order of the natural world.

Soft Feminine Power What does the human witness feel as an

observer? Where is the compassion for the
sacrificed individual member of the hunted
MaryAine Curtis MRET, CMT species who make continuance of the life of
the hunter possible? Who can feel dread for
Is there a gentle soul in your life that you I was recently witness to a situation where We choose how we respond to circumstances the hapless seal sunning itself on a floating
know loved you and nurtured you: someone I watched a woman trying to express her and we often react from a fear based per- log as the orcas approach, for the buck being
that you respected and someone who rarely wishes to a man. She was expressing her spective: fear of not getting what we want or separated from the herd by the hungry
raised her voice to get your attention? fear and pain in an angry way by screeching not having what we need. We always have a pride of lionesses, or the tiny rabbit as the
and shouting, and it wasn’t accomplish- choice though, whether to respond without eagle swoops? Without the hunt, predators
She had or has grace and wisdom. You felt ing anything. It became worse and she thinking or have the grace to respond in a die. With the hunt, the prey dies. Life and
good in her presence. She may have come finally exhausted herself in her anger. As I manner that we will feel good about. death: the two most mysterious portals to
by this way of being naturally or she made watched, I kept thinking, he can’t hear you, the world unseen, inextricably connected,
choices about how to be with herself and lower your voice. Then she made a simple A calm, respectful communication amongst one to the other.
others. We may all know a person like this. request in a quiet yet strong voice. The man us will naturally help to create a more
instantly responded to her request. He could empowered and peaceful world. It is my As consciousness evolves within the human
Women, how many of you get snarly and finally hear her and respond to her. obligation to do my part in this. Will you species, we intuit that perhaps compassion is
prickly with your men and family when you join me? largely a human trait and one with which we
aren’t feeling your best? In another situation between two women, are specifically endowed to bring this loving
one woman wanted what the other one had Are you willing to watch how you react and energy into the Earth’s field. It is a right and
How does it work for you? and was willing to take it. She took it quite how you respond for the next week or so a responsibility. As we learn to love uncondi-
harshly. Rather than fighting the woman, and genuinely make an effort to change the tionally, do we enlivened the arena in which
I’m bringing this up because of the changes the first woman gave the second woman areas that are not bringing you inner peace? we find ourselves, fulfilling our piece of the
we are feeling and the amount of uncer- what she wanted so intensely. The second Women can be peacemakers if they choose puzzle?
tainty about the future heard in many woman, still feeling threatened, tried to to know themselves and heal the wounds
conversations these days. We can no longer justify her action by saying terrible things to that make them react in fear. We are being B’shalom
deal with life circumstances by pretending the woman that “gave in.” When this tirade called upon to make this world a better and
they will go away. We are moving at a much was over, the calmer and stronger woman more peaceful place to live in. We can do
faster pace and the changes we need to keep simply asked the second woman: “do you this with soft feminine power.
up with are making many of us uneasy. have any idea how precious you are?” The www.wordartist.com
harsh woman started sobbing. She was
So imagine making a choice by asking expecting a fight to get what she wanted.
yourself, “how important is it to    ?” When she was freely given what she wanted, www.return2joy.com
Would I rather be right or happy? it softened her heart.
8 Day With Creative Women
Day With
Creative Women
The Music of What a perfect day it turned out to be!
The musical performances started on time
at 10am with the acoustic sounds of Carol
DWCW 2010 Lowell and Kristen Black. The smooth
sounds of the Flutists of the Central Coast
By Sonia Paz Baronvine followed. Then we welcomed the cheerful
WCC Board Member women of the Central Coast Celebration
Chorus. It was impossible not to sing along
with their happy songs.
Women’s Press September & October 2010
AUGUST 14, 2010
SLO MISSION PLAZA
At 11am we welcomed the Women’s Drum
Group with Sandy Dent dancing to the
beat. An hour later, Maheyla and the Ritual
took the stage (pictured above). She is an
amazing guitarist with a strong voice. After
a short lunch break, Blue Moon Haven
enthralled everyone with their lively belly
dancing. Then the Chrome Addicts, Patty
Dee and Andrea Iversen made everyone
dance with their steel drum rhythms.
Soon the stage was full of colors and sounds
as Jenna and the World Dancers regaled
us with many dances set to international
music, including a Bollywood style dance
performed by Gina Cinardo and an Anam
Yoga dance performed by Raquel Mitchell.
Chick Tuesday was the perfect ending for a
great afternoon of music and dance. WCC
thanks all the superb musicians for partici-
pating. We hope to see you next year!
Women’s Press September & October 2010 Day With Creative Women 9

By the time you read this, we will have

recuperated from the excitement of the
36th year of producing Day with Creative
Women. Let me tell you, what a wonderful
time we had. With the help this year of
SLO County Commission on the Status of
Women, DWCW has reached a higher level
of perfection—if such a thing is possible!
Day with Creative Women provides an
opportunity for women artists and artisans
to display their talents and sell their wares,
for non-profit organizations to provide
the community with information about
their services, and for businesswomen
interested in promoting their services.
We had a whole lot of returning vendors,
women who come year after year, and a
lot of new ones, too. We hope they will all
become returning vendors next year.

Music is always a large part of this event, SLO, Coast Hills Federal Credit Union,
and this year was no exception. From Coast National Bank, SESLOC Federal
the opening act, Carol Lowell Group; on Credit Union, Pacific Bankcorp, Mission
through the day with the “Fun Flutes,” Community Bank, Core Mediation Services,
led by Bonnie Richan; the Central Coast Meathead Movers, Bill Gaines Sound, SLO
Celebration Chorus, an a cappella women’s Graphics, Von’s, Smart and Final, Costco,
four part harmony choral group that sings Central Coast Radio, KCBX-FM, and New
in the Barbershop tradition; our own local Times. Thank you for providing underwrit-
women’s drumming group; to Maheyla & ing support and in kind services to help
the Ritual, performing a wide variety of make the event a success.
roots and genre music; to Middle Eastern
belly dance and world music performers; As with all major events open free to the
a Steel Drum Duo; and Swing and Rock public, lots of volunteer work is needed
music band Chick Tuesday, the music behind the scenes to make the event a
rocked! success. WCC appreciates the efforts of all
our volunteers both during the planning
Day with Creative Women is a fundraising phase and on the day of the event. Special
event to benefit the Women’s Community thanks to the Teens at Work from the
Center of San Luis Obispo County, dedi- Atascadero Community Link.
cated to the empowerment of women, and
the SLO County Commission on the And a special thank you to everyone who
Status of Women, serving as the voice for participated in coming to the Mission,
women to the County Board of Supervisors. whether for the food, the music, the art,
We could not put on this event without the raffle items, or just the energy and
the generous support of our community enthusiasm of all the Creative Women in
sponsors: the city of SLO, the County of our county!
10 Day With Creative Women Women’s Press September & October 2010

Day With Photos from

Creative Women recent years.
2008
Women’s Press September & October 2010 Day With Creative Women 11

Edana Hall Licensed Midwife

mothersbirth@holisticmidwifery.com
805-801-3806

New office and

Birth Center opening:

2009
San Luis Business Center
@ Higuera & Los Osos Valley Rd.
San Luis Obispo, CA

Mira Vista Apartments

11153 El Camino Real
Atascadero CA 93422
ph/fax 805.461.1143

www.miravistaapts.com

Safe • Clean
Quiet • Non-Smoking
 12 4251 S. Higuera Street, Suite 800, San Luis Obispo, CA 93401 | 805 544-9313 Women’s Community Center

THE MISSION OF THE WCC IS:
• TO maintain an accessible center to
collect and exchange information of
interest and concern to women
• TO organize and facilitate work-
shops, clinics, seminars, classes, and
support groups on subjects of interest
and need
• TO engage in and facilitate interac-
tion among local, state, and national
agencies and organizations working
to benefit women
BETTER Supervised Visitation
Building Enduring Ties That
Enrich Relationships. Our newest
project and one we are very proud
to offer to the San Luis Obispo
County is the BETTER Supervised
Visitation Program. We provide trained
Supervision Monitors for non-custodial
parents on a sliding scale with fees as
low as $10 per hour, allowing children to
spend good quality time with their non-
custodial parent.
Family Law Action Committee
Dealing With Divorce
3rd Wednesday of each month – 7 PM
Sept 15, Oct 20 and Nov 17
$10 donation
Self-Represented Litigants’ Clinic
4th Tuesday of each month – 5:30 PM
Upcoming:
Sept 28, Oct 26 and Nov 23
Reservations required.
$40 donation

Calling All •
•
Cell phones
Ink Jet Printer Cartridges While the Music Plays
(or most) Used •
•
•
Laptops & Notebooks
MP3 Players
Digital Cameras (still & video)
By Sonia Paz Baronvine

Tech Equipment
By Robin Rinzler
Our newest fundraiser involves collect-
ing items that would otherwise pollute
our landfills. These items listed below
will bring money to The Women’s
Community Center, and will be recycled
properly or fixed and resold. Don’t throw
these in the trash, call us now and see if
we can turn them into much needed cash
for the WCC!
•
•
•
Radar Detectors
GPS Devices
Radar Detectors
A sunny day in San Luis Obispo
by the Mission
I listen to the sounds of guitars,
There are familiar faces
we welcome each year
and new ones wonder
• Kindle & Sony Book Readers drums and feminine voices among the crafts ...
while sisters from near and far I smile at all of them
These items can be working or not, like butterflies fill the plaza sitting on the lawn
damaged or not. Drop off your item with their art and music.... while the music plays...
or items at the Women’s Community
Center, 4251 S. Higuera Street (where Another year has passed
Los Osos Valley Road dead ends into and once more we meet
S. Higuera Street) and we can turn under the sycamores
that into $$ for our many projects! laughing and hugging
Call 544-9313 if you have any questions! happy to see each other.....
Thanks for your support!
Women’s Press September & October 2010 Motherhood 13

BETTER Supervised Visitation Program

By Rebecca Said
WCC Board Member
Imagine you, as a parent, have been told
that you are not allowed to see or spend time
with your child without supervision. The
divorce or separation from your significant
other was difficult. You may have struggled
with significant personal issues and may
be actively addressing them. There may be
accusations that are true or untrue regard-
ing your character or ability to be alone
with your child. Still the family court judge
decides that your child is not safe in your
care and that your visitation with him or her
must be supervised by an adult. Then, you
are told that the only supervision service is
$65 an hour. What if you are on unemploy-
ment, Social Security Income, or Disability
Photo by Griet Cornille and can barely afford your own daily living
expenses? As a consequence you are not
divorce or separation. Many children, who
experience a long period of time separated
from one of their parents, place the blame
on themselves for the separation. This guilt
may affect their current and future rela-
tionships. By strengthening their parental
bonds, BETTER helps the child get through
a separation they must still endure.
The supervision monitors hired by BETTER
are carefully chosen. They are background
checked and trained to follow the rules of
court regarding supervised visitation. They
all have a love of children and a belief that
divorce and separation of parents should not
negatively affect the children. They find the
work as a monitor gratifying when they see
the joy on the children’s faces after spending
some quality time with mom or dad.
Monitors are trained in procedures to use if
emergencies arise and place the utmost care

On Being a Perfect Mother

By Diane Halsted
Now I’ve opened a can of worms, and
they are squirming and squiggling across
the page as I write. So much has been said
about mothering, and I have only a little
more to add.
First off, I believe we mother as we wish we
had been mothered. My mother told me
what to do from the day I was born until
the day she died. I wanted a quiet mother. I
became a quiet mother to my two children.
I didn’t tell them to wear jackets; I figured
they were smart enough to know when
they were cold or might become cold. If
they weren’t already, they soon would be. I
didn’t tell them which activities to pursue;
I simply said they could participate in one
activity that needed me to transport them
and as many as they wanted to if they could
get there on their own steam. My children
might have wanted more advice. I give abso-
lutely no unsolicited advice, and I waffle
when they ask. I will discuss a situation
as long as they choose and offer possibili-
ties, but my children will never hear those
four terrible words “if I were you.” I am just
plain not either one of my children, and so
I instead express confidence that they will
know what to do when they have to do
it. I also accept that in my mothering as I
wanted to be mothered, I may not be moth-
able to see your child for weeks, months, or in creating a safe environment for each visit.
perhaps years.
The non-custodial parents who have used
ering as my children want or need. I’ve told This is the situation that many families in BETTER have expressed appreciation for
them it is up to them to voice unmet needs. San Luis Obispo County face. The Woman’s the services provided. They are happy to be
Community Center became aware of this able to schedule visits close to their homes
Next, in mothering, as in just about all problem last summer when a woman con- and to see their children on a regular basis.
other endeavors, less is more. The best way tacted our office and reported that she They believe that BETTER has been effec-
for less to actually be more is to have done had not been able to see her child for over tive in reuniting them with their children
a good lot of parenting during the child’s a year because she could not afford it. The and in arranging visits such that both
early years. When I hear small children Woman’s Community Center decided to do parents are cooperating with the BETTER
running in a hotel, I am reminded of my something about this situation and estab- program for the good of their children.
parents teaching my sister and me hotel lished the BETTER (Building Existing
manners. We practically tiptoed down the Ties That Enrich Relationships) Supervised Although most clients are referred to
hall so we wouldn’t disturb other guests, Visitation Program in March 2010. On a BETTER from the family court, some
and we kept our voices down in the room sliding scale that is affordable for everyone, clients are self-referred. If both parents agree
for the same reason. We were well aware noncustodial parents are able to spend to use BETTER services for the supervised
that others besides us existed in the world quality time with their children while the visits, a court order may not be necessary.
and deserved consideration and respect. courts sort out their custody issues. Sometimes supervision of the visitation
Since this was taught early on, my parents is ordered to be conducted by a family
never had to deal with it later. My children When thinking about the need for this member or family friend, but sometimes
learned the same lesson. College students service most people think of men who have that individual does not want the responsi-
will always party, but I am convinced that lost custody of their children. However, over bility or finds the supervision to be too time
those who selfishly ignore their neighbors’ one third of BETTER’s clients are women. consuming.
right to reasonable quiet in family residen- In some cases these people have issues
tial areas probably ran down hotel hallways. with domestic violence, drug or alcohol If you are a parent who could use these
abuse, or mental illness. The establishment services, please contact BETTER Supervised
And finally, step back, step out, back off, and of BETTER has allowed these parents to Visitation at (805) 544-9313.
enjoy being the parent of adult children. The maintain contact with their children after
work is done for better or worse. Hindsight
is always 20-20. I’ve told my children many
times I always made what I thought was the
very best decision I could make at the time
I made it. That is all anyone can ever hold
herself to. Being the perfect mother is com-
pletely impossible, but being the mother you
are and loving yourself for it is perfect.
14 Motherhood
What’s my girl going through?
By Tom Stein
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-changes
— David Bowie
Conversations with adolescent girls
sometimes seem like intergalactic travel,
and because we don’t know what else to
do, the most tenacious adults among us
keep speaking English and adhering to
our familiar customs with predictably
mixed results. We practice that humorous
definition of insanity: we do the same
thing repeatedly, each time expecting
a new outcome. And we probably are
a little off-kilter, finding ourselves in
bewilderingly alien territory.
— Martha B. Strauss, Adolescent Girls
in Crisis: Intervention and Hope
Girls in the throes of adolescence can
indeed be like aliens: one moment they are
cuddling up next to you to watch a movie,
the next yelling at you for intentionally
hiding their favorite t-shirt. Their actions
are bewildering, frustrating, and sometimes
anger-provoking. Although all adults have
gone through adolescence, selective memory
protects us from re-experiencing that trying
time.
Let’s imagine what it might be like inside
that developing body and soul: what exactly
is happening as an adolescent girl enters and
then proceeds through adolescence with all
its baggage?
Erik Erikson, famous for his Stages of
Psychosocial Development, calls this stage
Identity and Confusion. It is during this
period that children are trying to work
through the morass of changes in their
body and brain, figuring out gender roles,
exploring and making decisions about their
sexuality, and questioning even basic rela-
tionships with friends and families. They
are trying to make sense of the world and
hoping to discover some sense of who they
are. They crave guidance but want equally to
find their own way.
Roughly between the ages of 10 and 17 girls
go through momentous changes in their
bodies and psyches. Physically hormones
cause increases in weight and height, breasts
enlarge, pubic hair grows, and menstruation
begins. The changes may be rapid, con-
fusing, and upsetting despite the fact that
peers are going through the same changes.
It feels strange, unique, and often shameful.
Their brains, especially the left frontal lobe
which governs rational thinking are not
developed so reasonable behavior may fly
out the window. As they begin the process
of puberty, younger teens still think con-
cretely in black and white terms. They
perceive their parents’ behavior as weird or
“uncool” and compare them unfavorably to
the “better” parents of friends. Due to the
rapid hormonal changes and an under devel-
oped frontal lobe, they have a sense they
cannot be hurt, thus eagerly take on risks
they avoided before. Socially they want to
spend more time with peers than family,
often turning to peers for advice on how to
deal with problems. They explore new hair
styles, clothing, and activities to develop an
identity. They are often moody. This seems
to be the time to test boundaries and social
traditions as they explore their identity:
experimenting with drugs and alcohol,
getting in trouble with the law, pushing
parents away. This is the time when parents
will say: “I just don’t know what to do with
her.”
They’ll often turn to teachers or other
adults who seem to “get” them, seeking
the former closeness they used to have with
their parents. All in all, it’s a rough time for
girls. There is a lot going on, a lot to deal
with, and they’re trying to cut themselves
loose from the very people who have been
most helpful in the past; they lash out at the
safest people: parents.
What are some things you can do to stay
connected with your daughter during this
tumultuous time?
Realize it’s normal for teens to challenge
your beliefs and values. They want to dem-
onstrate they can be independent.
As Erikson points out, it’s a teen’s job
to assert her independence. Although
age-appropriate limit setting is good, over-
control may lead to more of the behavior
you’re trying to have them avoid.
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Attachment Parenting
Principle 7:
Listen to your daughter even if the content Practice Positive Discipline
or timing may irritate you. If you’re talking
more than 50% of the time, you’re talking
By Lisa Jouet
too much. She wants to be seen, heard, and
have her ideas and opinions taken seriously
(even if you don’t agree with them), not be As an attachment parent, I have found the
given advice and directives. idea of positive discipline to be much easier
for me than the actual implementation.
Remember teens flip flop between being Now that my almost 4 year old daughter has
an adult and being a child. Sometimes you become a young child rather than a toddler,
might give them responsibilities for which she and I often disagree and experience
they aren’t ready. Try to be aware when conflict instead of feeling the harmony we
that happens and consider modifying your used to enjoy together.
request so it matches her “age.”
The journey to positive discipline has been
Model the attitude and behavior you’d like one of lengthy introspection, study, and
for your daughter. If you want her to be practice for me. When some of our disagree-
strong, make her own decisions, and have ments occur I feel frustrated and sometimes
healthy and enriching relationships, model exasperated. My husband gives me sugges-
those for her. Teens tend to get their advice tions when I ask, but often I feel lost about
and support from their peers, which may or how to approach triggers like our nightly
may not be what they or you want. tooth brushing routine. My daughter clamps
her mouth shut and refuses to open her
Be authentic. Teens have the best B.S. mouth for me. I patiently ask her to open
meters in the world. They aren’t looking her mouth and she shakes her head “No”
for you to be their friend. They understand at me. What does a non-violent parent do
you’re the parent. Adolescence is confusing in this situation, I wondered. After several
enough without parents trying to be some- deep breaths, I finally figured out I could
thing they aren’t. They may think you’re ask her if she wanted me to help her with
weird, but they like knowing they can count her teeth or if she wanted to do her own
on you to be there for them. teeth. She would point at me, meaning she
wanted me to be the one helping. Asking
Although your daughter may seem to not her to make a choice seemed to diffuse the
want anything to do with you, studies have sense of conflict quickly.
shown that teens actually want more time
with their parents. Don’t forget to check in I also started a Love and Logic parenting
and affirm your love for them. class with my husband in May that lasted
six weeks and it cemented several things I
This article is Part two of a series of four had been working on personally. When we
articles on adolescent girls. Part 1 was take the time to read, discuss, and under-
entitled: What Happened to My Daughter? stand our children developmentally we can
Next—Part 3: The Hidden Angst of Girls: get out of our own way when they challenge
Pressures confronting adolescents today. us. Often when we are in conflict with our
children, I learned we are “butting heads”
because of things I was trying to control
or “make her” do. I learned to slow down,
Tom Stein is a Marriage and Family Therapist practice patience, and be consistent with
and Certified Life Coach practicing in San follow through. This, along with giving our
Luis Obispo. He specializes in working kids a chance to make as many of their own
with teens and trauma. He can be con- decisions as possible, gets us closer to coop-
tacted at tom@tomstein-therapist.com, eration and positive discipline.
805.881.3136, or visit his website at
www.tomstein-therapist.com.
www.attachmentparenting.org
Women’s Press September & October 2010 Local Perspectives 15

Wilmar Chronicles
Part One: The House

By Anna Trent Moore

We called it Benson’s house. It belonged

to her. The house even looked a bit like to my surprise, I saw a tiny pumpkin. Soon,
Benson… older, leaner, and indiffer- it grew larger, and the warmth of orange
ent to the other houses nearby. One had a filled the place with a magic. Really, that
sense that it wasn’t interested in conversa- pumpkin was a splendid sight. This house
tion or even small talk. Defying all others, of Bensons with the orange pumpkin by
the house stood alone, boldly positioning the sea…it filled your heart with joy just to
itself, an old sea house perched high on the look at it. The next day, glancing over to see
cliff overlooking the big blue of the Pacific it again, I smiled when I saw that she had
Ocean. placed it on a rickety, wooden kitchen chair;
positioning it so as to look out to sea.
The eyes of the house were its large, open
windows that stared out toward the Pacific Nestled next to the house was the winding
from its lofty perch. The paint was peeling, wooden stairs that led down to the beach.
and the leaning shutters squeaked as the Faithfully, making the trek down the
wind blew. Still, there was a quiet dignity winding steps every evening, I would surf
about this house that stood proud. It was my spot. We called it Wilmar, after the
like an old soul that had lived many lives… street that led to it. And appropriate too
just like Benson. I wondered, if it could talk, because it’s a woman’s name. The street,
what stories it could tell. Benson, Trina (my surfing buddy), myself,
and even the house were all women. The
For a long time it lay empty… an aban- only male thing was Benson’s dog, Wiley. A
doned shell. brute looking mutt with the demeanor of a
puppy, his name was Wiley… Wiley Coyote.
I passed by the house many times as I And oh how she loved to scold that boy dog!
walked to my surf spot, and no one had A loud voice booming from a thin, wiry
lived between its walls at any time that I body yelling out, “Wiley! Wileeeee! Where
could remember. I felt with certainty that are you, you bad puppy!” That voice, filled
this house had been loved at one time. with pretend anger, never left you with any
Empty now, it reminded me of a broken doubt that she loved that Wiley Coyote
heart waiting to be loved again; oblivious more than anything.
to time, suspended, in wait for the right
moment to resume rhythm… like a clock Of course, there were other males that
that needs rewinding so as to begin ticking would pass through our Wilmar domain,
once again. And then, one day she appeared; but that was all that they were really doing:
a car in the driveway and a little person passing through. We, on the other hand, felt
digging in the front yard. And just like that,a kinship to Wilmar. It was as if we owned
a rhythm began and the house came back to the spot. The quality of waves were…well,
life. left to be desired. Still, it was our spot and
therefore we felt that in a way, it belonged
It was a long while before words were even to us. We even called it our beach.
The Dark Sea
exchanged. I didn’t know how to approach By Jeanie Greensfelder
such an odd little person, and besides, never And so it began this way on a crisp fall
making eye contact, it was difficult to begin day in October that a street called Wilmar A brown, two-pound wet mop wiggles Two men return in a motor boat.
with even hello. Bent down to the ground became a separate world unto itself; sus- on the sand, separated from its mother. One, wearing a yellow slicker,
busy at work, she seemed forever intent on tained by the pulse of an old house that was holds the pup. From the pier
wanting no part of anything or anyone that brought to life by a strange little person who Atop a Harbor Patrol truck, a man the woman rescuer scans the sea.
existed outside the perimeter of the house. called herself by one name. These are the watches for a parent otter to appear, Night falls: a possible sighting!
stories of her people. to respond to the cry of its baby. The men head that way,
In time, it was revealed that she intended to A woman from Marine Rescue place the baby in the water.
plant a garden of sorts right smack dab in They say that nothing lasts forever, and if carries the pup into the icy surf. Back away.
the front yard. Soon, sunflowers and a veg- something ever did, I wanted to believe Arms high, she waits to be seen. Watch.
etable garden blossomed. One day, while it was this…Benson and her house with Twice the mother comes close. Wait.
walking by with my surfboard tucked the pumpkin by the sea. A picture of time After an hour the team leaves.
under my arm, I glanced over and spied a permanently transposed against the blanket On the dark sea the little otter drifts.
bright orange glow under some leaves, and of blue.
16 Local Perspectives Women’s Press September & October 2010

Uncommon
Denominator
By Jane Elsdon
Unsung Heroine Whenever I smell fresh scrubbed skin
and pigskin leather
Kathryn Rossi I picture you,
See the two of us together.

Growing the Brain, Together we’ve done it all:

scaled Everests of heredity
Healing the Body and environment,
trudged barren deserts
of desperation,
ascended peaks of peace
and jubilation,
entered the looking-glass
of macrocosm and microcosm,
challenged God, science,
and ourselves.

We’ve turned crumbs into a feast,

Water into wine.
We’ve walked on waves
—from Armstrong to Williams,
Ellington to Vaughn—
prowled planets of poetry
—from Blake to Kavanaugh,
By Berta Parrish
After three-and-a-half years of rehabil- thing new, interesting, and challenging to Levertov to Whitman—
itation, she earned a Ph.D. in Clinical grow and restructure her brain networks. Meandered meadows of mild flowers
Hope springs eternal. Anything is possible Psychology in 1990, and soon added cer- She became a Certified Yoga Teacher and And wild dreams,
if you believe. Success is a state of mind. tification as a Sex and Couples Therapist. learned Sanskrit. Fortunately, she also dis- clung together, hidden,
We all waver between belief and disbelief However, it was Milton Erickson’s covered the therapeutic effects of art. like hibernating cub
in these platitudes, depending upon our approaches to therapeutic hypnosis, psycho- “When you are inspired by art, or whatever floated hand in hand in the open night
needs and our moods. We want them to be therapy, and rehabilitation that resonated stimulates your imagination,” she explains, vulnerable to the universe
true, but our rational minds raise so many with her personal experience to provide “you go to a special place, to a healing place and each other,
objections. However, the current neurosci- the foundation for most of her research, – some people experience it as a spiritual together, yet alone.
ence research should make us reconsider publications, and extensive international space.”
them. Can our thoughts really help heal consulting. “Neuroscience really turns me It is no wonder, then,
our bodies? Kathryn Rossi, author and psy- on.” She adds, “The way we grow new con- “What fires together, wires together” is one that whatever I have learned
chotherapist, believes they can, because nections in our brains helps me understand of the memorable statements in the film of death and life,
she has experienced it, not once, but twice. the psychobiological reality of healing and What the Bleep do We Know? In addition pain and peace,
Studying mind-body healing for the last of learning.” to summarizing the learning and healing God and love,
thirty years, she knows the theory as well as process, it describes Kathryn Rossi’s creative is intertwined with you.
the real life practice. Recent advances in neuroscience suggest life. By consciously blending positive
that the brain never stops growing cells thinking with scientific knowledge, she You are my uncommon denominator,
At the age of 27, after obtaining a Masters of (called neurogenesis) that link up to create enjoys a life full of hope, opportunity, beyond division;
Arts in Education (specializing in counsel- neural pathways by producing the neces- beauty, and joy. Just as important, she my unified field,
ing and guidance) from Cal Poly, Kathryn sary connections (called synaptic bonding). pioneers a process for all of us. beyond theory;
fell and broke her neck. Feeling extreme and Several factors facilitate neurogenesis, you are my husband,
constant pain, she couldn’t read, watch tele- including physical movements, novel and my lover,
vision, or socialize. “All I could do was to creative mental activity, sufficient sleep, and my knowledge,
be quiet and think,” she recalls of this time. confidence. beyond life.
“So, I looked every day for the absence of For more information on Kathryn Rossi’s
pain. After 9 months it happened for five This knowledge certainly helped when she research, books, and workshops, visit
minutes. I then realized that I could stretch suffered short term memory loss due to http://www.KathrynRossi.com.
this to become a lifetime without pain.” As a surfing accident in 2009. To heal from
the pain subsided, she relearned to be com- this head injury she needed to learn some-
fortable all the time.
Women’s Press September & October 2010 Local Perspectives 17

Two Poems
By Ginny Conrow

A Piece of Peace A sigh, a breath,a pause in the secrecy

One thought grows to merge with others,
while unseen passengers jump on
for the ride..
Thoughts, not reality, swellinto an
unseen tempest, frothy with angst.
of thought.In stillness and calm,abit
ofpeaceseeps in.
A small piece, radiating inward and out;
a whollydelightful, utterly satifying piece...
of peace!

He said, she said; what right do

they have, anyway?
They should know; they should care! Letting Go...
How dare they rain on my parade? How many times do I have to stumble and

Mom’s Apple Pie

And, furthermore, how could they have
intimated this and that?
They’ve done it before. Oh, the selfishness,
the spitefulness!
Bottom-feeding, now,in the lake
of despondency, bitternesssneaks
in to every crevice.
The cycle completed, stagnation grows, and
all is black.
Actors and actressesrepeatcarefully
rehearsed lines. The stage? Almost
palpable.
Almost... Only almost. Almost.
Not...really...
not reality.
Oh...
Reality is now; this tree, that bush,
the sky,the breath, the grass,
the birdsong, a voice.
Allin this moment, the present...reality.
Tangled thoughtsgradually unravel;
the fraying ends spray shards of light.
Light and lightness begin to dawn,
opening the way...opening the way to Truth.
fall?
How many times...?
When did I forget past grief from emotions
worn raw?
Was it not enough: the memories, the stern
self-dialogue, the prayers?
Apparently not! Yes, I went there again,
with emotions untamed.
I stirred the pot with a dirty spoon; con-
taminating all who partook.
Words spiked with acid hurled, unafraid...
and now, grief...again.
I could, forever,drown in these juices of
bitter regret,hoping to never again inflict
pain.
Presently, stewing still, I pause...
I pauseto...listen.
Wisdom gently whispers, “Let it go.”
“Let go and let God”, yes, I’ve heard it
all before.
Be still...and know, He says. With much
trepidation, I finally...allow.
Sitting in the stillness, I slowly unclench my hard day. She seemed more like my mother
hands,Ibreathe in,I relax relaxmy jaw.
I gently let go...and let God.
By Kathy Bond
Angie’s oncologist, Dr. Hosford, called us
in late January 2009 from our daughter’s
Union Hospital room in Elkton, Maryland.
She wanted to send her home soon. “Angie
needs someone 24/7. The cancer spread to
her bones. She could fall.”
We flew east and eventually our luggage
caught up with us. The first month of
our three months there we stayed at the
Ramada, a mile from Angie’s apartment. I
spent part of that time in her small galley
kitchen at the living room’s end.
I baked pies and rice puddings for her. She’d
lost weight in the hospital. Angie, a slender
“foodie,” liked to cook. It relaxed her after a
who taught Domestic Science and had a
cooking certificate. My mother and father
met in a canteen in war-time England.
Photo by Matthias Engel
“Do we carry Tahini?” Proud of our efforts,
we described our culinary adventures to Dr.
Hosford.
“I’m impressed. I always buy it at the store.”
I bought Food Lion’s frozen pastry circles
in plastic bags. Angie didn’t bring a rolling
pin or pastry blender when she moved into
her apartment, so I resorted to using a
wine bottle when I needed to re-roll. I did
peel and slice the apples though. And I did
remember Fannie Farmer’s Rice Pudding
recipe. Good thing it only requires five
ingredients. We served the pudding to
Hospice’s Bereavement Counselor and apple
pie to their Financial Planner. We made
cinnamon sugar cookies from some of the
pastry for Angie’s daughter, Christina.
What I used to do with our children, she’d
passed on to hers. It made a sweet legacy.

The cooking gene seemed to have skipped The women’s group from our old parish
me, but I felt glad to do it for our older traveled to Maryland twice and took us out
daughter. She reminded me to add raisins to lunch both times. The conversation and
to dishes. And when I made tuna salad, laughter of old friends flowed. Other friends
I added the “little green things”—diced from the schools where Angie had worked
celery—and she seemed touched by this. took us out. Over lunch I met some of her
new friends—soccer moms and library
We grocery shopped at nearby Food Lion workers.
and yes, even Walmart. With her leg brace
we used the handicapped spaces. We bought Angie ate huge helpings of vanilla ice cream
hummus and learned to make this Middle with her apple pie and rice pudding. She
Eastern dish from scratch, using cobbled- only lived for three months in Hospice
together recipes. Angie dug out her Bond 2 care—February, March, and April. It
Cuisinart™ food processor from the closet, felt like a gift to have this time with her.
and we combined garlic, olive oil, garbanzo And I hope Mom’s home cooking made a
beans and lemon. I don’t think I’ll ever difference and improved the quality of her
forget a Walmart assistant manager asking: final days.
18 Local Perspectives Women’s Press September & October 2010

Drum Circle Magic

The Power of Suggestion Boxes
Part 11 : Circle of By Adele Sommers
the Goddess
If you have a suggestion box for your
business, how sincerely do you consider the
recommendations and ideas you receive?
If you haven’t yet tapped this invaluable
resource, I encourage you to create a sug-
gestion repository and actively seek to fill it.
Below are tips for collecting and using the
input you receive to greatly strengthen your
business and bring in more revenue.
1. Immediate but basic problems that
you can remedy right away.
2. Major malfunctions occurring that
should be documented and fixed.
3. Gaps in the internal hand-offs for
converting prospects into customers.
4. Customers or prospects needing
something that you don’t offer, which
could ignite ideas for new offerings,
accessories, or add-ons.

By Francesca Bolognini
Welcome back to the circle. This time I
would like to explore an ancient technology
that is currently experiencing a resurgence:
the frame drum. I refer to technology
because these drums were tools for many
functions in the ancient world. They are
wide hoops of wood, with relatively narrow
rims, stretched tight with hide, or now also
synthetics, played with either a mallet or the
hands, and were once played primarily by
women. Through entrainment, brain waves
instantly alter by its activation, creating a
versatile, highly efficient method of shifting
human energies. Women, made ever con-
scious of our link to rhythms of the moon
and tides by the ebb and flow within our
bodies, were the first time keepers, then,
by extension, rhythmists. Primal rhythmic
sense eventually grew into vast knowledge of
frequencies affecting states of consciousness
and resultant changes to the physical body.
Powerfully resonant, highly portable, and
capable of infinite varieties of emotional and
rhythmic expression, frame drums touched
all of human existence in the ancient world,
accompanying rites of passage, celebrations,
oracular visions, healings, and enlighten-
ment. Though objects as ephemeral as frame
drums leaves little trace in the deep pre-
historic record, we have evidence of their
existence going back nearly 8,000 years. But
chances are, they are much, much older.
Some historians believe that rhythmic inter-
action, such as drumming together, helped
propel human evolution.
This makes the fact that many are now
uncomfortable with the idea of attempt-
ing to keep time all the more telling of
damage done by millennia of negative social
conditioning. Such reprogramming was
Tip #1: Consider polling your customers Your customers deserve no less than the
using Web, mail, e-mail, or phone surveys. very best of experiences with every facet of
You might ask what they love and don’t love your offerings. Revealing and remedying
undertaken by invading patriarchal hier- about your products and services, and how annoying hassles can stem the exodus of
archies, branding us and our practices as they might suggest improving them. any cranky customers and help you begin
evil, in an ongoing effort to disempower building a base of “raving fans.” And as
the female elements of their societies. Our Tip #2: Consider expanding routine companies as popular as Starbucks have
potent tool was then shifted into an effective customer support calls by asking custom- demonstrated, requesting and carefully lis-
motivator for organized aggression, leading ers: “Is there anything you can think of that tening to creative ideas can spark a new
to countless imbalances, including social, could enable our products or services to romance with your audience base.
mental and physical disease and environ- better assist you?”
mental destruction. In conclusion, customers may find it very
Tip #3: Once you have a suggestion box, refreshing to finally reveal their pet peeves
We had previously evolved in an environ- phone survey data, or technical support or suggestions. Imagine how thrilled they
ment of full rhythmic emersion, cycles of logs that record customer feedback, comb will be to finally be heard and taken seri-
the day and night, moon and tides, seasons through them to identify suggestions of ously! And they might be telling you exactly
and planetary movements providing natural every type. What’s been bugging your cus- what you need to know to spin off your very
calendars, all beginning with our mother’s tomers or stopping them from getting next product campaign.
heart beat, the pulse of her blood forming things done? Are they recommending
our bodies in her womb. For many thou- improvements in any area? See which kinds
sands of years, societies, living in relatively of trends you can spot.
peaceful coexistence, honored the feminine Adele Sommers, Ph.D. is a business perfor-
principles of nurturance, respect for life For example, are people having trouble pur- mance consultant who helps entrepreneurs
and for Mother Earth. Culture developed: chasing, using, or installing something, or align their life passions with their business
medicine, weaving, art, pottery, navigation, wrestling with just getting started? Are they purpose. She also guides organizations through
ritual, language and music. From the most reporting bugs or service problems? Are the “tactical tune-ups” and “strategic makeovers”
ancient shamanic societies to the relatively instructions incomplete or confusing? Are in individual or group sessions. Contact her
modern remnants of the Great Goddess customers asking about features that you today for a free initial consultation at Adele@
and Her many aspects, the musical sound don’t yet support? Look for the following LearnShareProsper.com, or 805-462-2199.
track of this evolving world featured frame possibilities:
drums.
Today women worldwide are consciously
choosing to reinstate sacred uses of the
frame drum, rediscovering this feminine
component of rhythmic expression, healing
and consciousness altering technology.
“Wonder Woman”
Most importantly, we are reclaiming the By Justin Anderson Every second and minute it seems your eyes
communal nature of this wonderful instru- are getting brighter. I watch you smile as
ment. Easy to learn, with practice, and fun A light in your eyes but a heart that’s you see the blue ocean water.
to play, frame drumming is again gaining starting to rot.
popularity. God is lifting Satan’s curse. After all, now I
I say to myself, “Should I or should I not?” love you as much as my mom or daughter...
Questions or comments? Reach me at But God gave me the message and I’m here your soul is starving for good, and well He
circlegoddess@gmail.com. Until next time, to care for you! So I break you out of that knows that I would have fully understood.
keep the beat! desolate place. I love you and good luck. You make me
wonder... woman!
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Heather Mendel
As we evolve in consciousness, sacred part-
nership becomes a deeper, richer, and more
appropriate form of union than a tradi-
tional marriage ever could be. This is an
egalitarian commitment between two adults
(irrespective of gender, ethnicity, or religious
background) who recognize the potential
for soul growth in the ongoing relation-
ship with the person in whom their soul
delights. As our society sheds its hierarchical
shackels, like the phoenix, a new possibility
arises from the ashes of worn-out structures
that no longer serve the evolving human
family. Just as in Europe and other western
countries, marriage is a civil recognition of
a couple’s choice to live their lives together,
sacred partnership can require a civil recog-
nition of a newly formed sacred partnership
that can be blessed by the officiate of any
religious tradition if the couple so chooses.
Freed of the traditional roles ascribed to
‘husband’ or ‘wife,’ a sacred partnership
becomes an opportunity for each to become
all that they were meant to be, individually
and as a couple.
As a calligraphic artist who designs wedding
vows for couples, over the years I have seen
the changes in the texts chosen, and how
they have transformed from the hierarchical
and sexist documents of the past to sacred
partnership commitments, one of which I
include for our readers:
“With these rings, we consecrate ourselves
to one another, now and forever, promis-
ing to be open to one another as we cherish
each other’s uniqueness, together celebrating
life’s joys and successes, and comforting and
supporting one another through life’s chal-
lenges and sorrows. With mutual respect, we
promises to share our intuition and insights,
our thoughts and feelings, empowering
and encouraging one another, to reach full
potential in all we undertake, as we blossom
into the beauty of whom we are yet to be. In
appreciation of the great gift of Life, we will
honor its sanctity as we celebrate its diver-
sity, working together to make the world
better by the way we live our lives, individ-
Voices 19
Do you think the institution
of marriage is outdated?
ually and as a couple. For ourselves and the a marriage contract protects her interests: Church views it as a sacrament. I view it as
children which whom we may be blessed, we when her children are young and when she, a gift, a creation. You build a life. I think
will create a home filled with laughter and herself, is old. Marriage provides security. It to do so requires self-knowledge, awareness,
light, a reverence for learning and above did in my grandmother’s time, it will in my and the ability to laugh at yourself.
all, with love. Our home will be a haven of granddaughter’s. But the zing is still the best
peace for all who enter it, one in which we part. We created a family and weathered good
will celebrate the cyclical flow of the seasons times and bad. With our daughter’s death,
and the significant milestones in our lives as I tried to show her children the strength
we create a future dedicated to peace, hope Angie King of family—the love, help, and support it
and respect for all people.” Boy, is that a loaded question! The biblical meant in the nurturing of siblings, aunts,
man-woman-cling-together-forever part has uncles, and grandparents. Her uncle serves
I would suggest that for any couple living been outmoded ever since Adam and Eve as executor for her mother, and friends and
in this way now, their marriage is a sacred split up. relatives send cards and gifts, and call her.
partnership. For anyone considering com-
mitting themselves to another in any form But humans do seem to have an innate Finally, it comes back to the two of you and
of recognized union, civil or religious, do need to bond with other humans. I think the sharing of joy and sorrow, laughter and
these words differ from your version of what humans, and maybe women more than tears, trips and conversations. It means not
marriage could be? If so,why? The choice is men, want a “community;” whether it’s a coming home to an empty house, not having
yours. man, another woman, or a clan or tribe or to explain a reference or a joke, not going
commune, we do gather in groups for our through an illness or death alone. So, I don’t
mutual betterment. Isn’t that all a marriage think marriage an outdated institution, but
Dorothy Segovia is supposed to be? rather, an option for companionship on the
Since so many citizens are still being journey of life.
prevented from the privilege of a legal
ceremony - of course the subject is a politi- Kathy Bond
cal hot potato. Approaching the half-century marker of our Jen Mowad
marriage, or 50 years/golden wedding anni- In a time when everything is fast, conve-
Personally, as long as both parties are clear versary, causes me to reflect. Archaic or nient, and temporary, I think the bond and
and talk about their hopes, beliefs, and fears dinosaur? I know that my announcement institution of marriage is critical for remind-
and the notion of “plenty of room to grow” - of 40 plus years of matrimony at a N.O.W. ing people that not everything is meant to
then marriage can work. I stopped doing the conference elicited gasps. be easy. Marriage is meant to be a covenant
‘live-in’ thing years ago. And even if I am and an agreement to work through hard and
divorced: I still believe in the commitment Historically, we didn’t live long and easy with one person and to make a mean-
and the honoring of...(see plenty of room to marriage came about for a women’s protec- ingful relationship with that one person. It
grow.) tion, transferred to a husband, after fathers requires commitment and energy and com-
and brothers. In my era—pre-1960’s Sexual passion; values that are fast disappearing in
Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Committed is an Revolution, we didn’t have many options— our race to be faster, better, and wealthier.
excellent read on the subject as well as convent, household, or old maid, if you I don’t believe marriage suits all people, but
The Feminine Face of God by Sherry Ruth insisted on teaching, nursing, or library I think our society is better off with people
Anderson and Patricia Hopkins. work. Unmarried at 25 meant “on the shelf:” seeking and working towards long, lasting
nobody wanted you. relationships.
Anne Schroeder Coming from a dysfunctional, alcoholic
After forty-two years of marriage, my family where I kept house for my father, I Next month our Voices
husband and I have maintained the passion didn’t want marriage. In Grandmother’s around the Table question is:
and zing that we hoped for when we said, day, marriage meant giving up your job.
How do you give back
“I do!” at nineteen. Now I’m reaping the In our generation, you worked until the
benefits of contractual commitment, as well. first baby came. Then, Betty Friedan’s The to your community?
I’m tenured, as they say. I love that about Feminine Mystique offered other options.
marriage--the part where what is his is yours, Please send responses to
and vice versa. When it works, it works well. “Marriage is not to be entered into lightly, womenspressslo@gmail.com
There are two times in a woman’s life when unadvisedly, but reverently.” The Episcopal
20 NOW News
Coordinator’s Corner
By Angie King
Every year in August, NOW celebrates
Women’s Equality Day, in keeping with
our mission to bring women into the main-
stream of American society. After all,
August 26th marks the day the 36th state
legislature ratified the 19th Amendment to
the US Constitution, making it official: all
women have the right to vote. And voting
is one of the most important ways women
can achieve equal rights under the law
– by voting into office people who have
made public their support for equality for
women. This November is no exception,
so educate yourselves about the issues and
demand answers to your questions from the
candidates.
In keeping with our traditional celebra-
tion, this year NOW had a table at Farmer’s
Market on Thursday, August 26, to help
educate the public about women’s struggle
for the vote and our continuing struggle
for equality. We haven’t been at Farmer’s
Market for a while, since the Downtown
Association raised the price of a booth
and made any one wanting a booth submit
an application and get approval, but we
thought this topic was important enough to
jump through their hoops. It was nice to be
NOW News
Cuesta College Tennis Team Title
IX violations: The investigation is still
on-going, the Trustees are not discussing it
at their monthly board meetings, and we’re
still waiting to see what Cuesta will do
about axing the women’s tennis team last
spring.
Ratify Women: Thirty years after the
passage of the Convention on Elimination
of all forms of Discrimination against
Women (CEDAW), the United States has
still not ratified this international treaty,
making it the only industrialized nation
not a party to it. NOW’s Global Feminist
Strategies and Issues Committee asks all
feminists to sign an on-line petition to ask
President Obama to place ratification of
CEDAW before the Senate. Go to www.
ratifywomen.org. Until the US is officially
a signatory, we can hardly ask other coun-
tries to live up to their obligations under the
“back on the street” again, and we had lots
of interested people stopping by.
It seems 2010 has been a year of elections,
somewhat akin to the year Lois Capps had
to run 4 elections in a year. Only this time,
it’s to replace different aspiring GOP stars
at the state level. Let’s hope this fall we can
elect people who will stay in office for their
term!
Our next activity will be the Morro Bay
Harbor Fest, on October 2 and 3. Please
call me (544-4331) if you can volunteer for
a shift that weekend. It’s always lots of fun;
you get into the festival free with your vol-
unteer T-shirt, and there’s lots of good
music and food. The festival supports the
fishing industry, and by volunteering we
earn operating money for our activities.
Please help!
You may notice that we are now publish-
ing only a one-page newsletter. The costs
of publishing and distributing the Women’s
Press has increased, but our finances have
not kept pace. But since we do want to keep
getting the news out to our local chapter
and friends, we will continue to bring you
the NOW News in the Women’s Press.
treaty or claim to be a leader in the fight for
human rights. See more about CEDAW on
these pages, or visit now.org.
Successful National Convention:
On July 4, the National Organization
for Women concluded its 2010 National
Conference in Boston, Mass., with a display
of feminist solidarity and determination
that reflected the true spirit of Independence
Day. NOW members cast impassioned votes
on a wide range of issues affecting women,
charting a course for action that includes
urging Congress and the IRS to rein in the
aggressive and unconstitutional lobbying of
the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops,
an aggressive campaign to restore coverage
of abortion care in the new health reform
law by repealing the Hyde Amendment and
calling for an immediate suspension of dis-
missals under the discriminatory Don’t Ask,
Don’t Tell policy.
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Who’s Watching the Kids?
By Angie King, taken liberally from ation syndrome, or “PAS,” is now itself a
Ms. Magazine, summer 2010 discredited psychological theory, forms of it
still appear. At least 32 states require courts
As it turns out, the answer to that question to consider which parent is willing to facil-
is, in an alarmingly high percentage of itate a continuing relationship between the
cases, the parent who has abused them or child and the other parent. No mother who
the other parent. In divorce cases, the court has been abused, or worse whose child has
is supposed to award custody of the minor been abused by the father, would want to
children to one or both parents and mete continue a relationship with that abuser.
out visitation schedules, in a way that, the-
oretically at least, is in the best interests of
Thus, she is at risk for losing custody.
the child. About half the states are also supposed to
weigh domestic violence as a factor in deter-
So, whose best interests are really being mining custody, but how much weight is
met? According to a study of 100,000 con- given depends largely on the judge’s discre-
tested divorce cases nationwide reported in tion, as well as his or her experience with
the Summer 2010 Ms Magazine, custody was domestic violence.
awarded to fathers who had, or were alleged
to have, committed domestic violence, October is national sexual assault awareness
about 1/3 of the time. month. Child and parental abuse is part
and parcel of sexual assault. The National
Abusive parents often escalate their abuse Council of Juvenile and Family Court
as divorce looms, in an effort to make the Judges and the American Bar Association,
partner flee, leaving the children with him. both recommend that custody be withheld
Then he has a claim to a close and continu- from anyone with a history of domestic
ing relationship with the children when he violence.
goes to court.
NOW is on record in supporting laws which
If the abused parent complains to the require judges to take into consideration all
child about the behavior of her father that allegations of domestic violence in awarding
becomes parental alienation, i.e. deliber- custody. For more information on domestic
ately trying to discredit the abusing parent violence and child custody, visit now.org
in the child’s eyes. While parental alien- and www.msmagazine.com.
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Page 20 Presented by the National Organization for Women
The purpose of NOW is to bring women into full participation
in the mainstream of American society NOW !
NOW Chapter # CA 565
PO Box 1306, SLO, CA 93406
SLONOW @ kcbx.net
http://groups.myspace.com/~slonow
General Meetings
GALA office, now located at 1060 Palm St., SLO
Third Tuesday of every month at 6 pm.
3rd Tuesday of every month at 6:00 pm
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NOW Goals
• Support reproductive choice
• Work to eliminate ALL violence against women
• Fight against sexual harassment
• Encourage tolerance and diversity
• Promote feminist issues
• Commemorate Roe v Wade (Jan 22)
• Celebrate Women’s Equality Day (Aug 26)
• Participate in Farmer’s Market
• Support feminist politics
Get Involved — Join NOW!
San Luis Obispo Chapter #565
National Organization for Women
Every woman doesn’t have to join NOW,
just the 142 million who are discriminated against!
Name: ________________________________________________
Address: _____________________________________________
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Phone: ________________________________________________
Regular Dues ….$40, Sliding Scale…..$15-39
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NOW News 21
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Chiropractic, Lilly’s, Alloco’s, Cambria Drug and Gift, Bob & Jan’s Bottle Shop,
Linn’s, Donna’s Nail Salon, Cookie Crock, Rainbow Bean and Coffee Shop;
Cayucos – Cayucos Super Market, Kelley’s EsPresso & Dessert, Ocean Front Pizza,
Chevron Station, Mobile Balloons; Los Osos – Starbuck’s, Baywood Laundry,
Cad’s, Carlock’s Bakery, Chamber of Commerce, Copa de Oro, Garden Café, Los
Osos Deli Liquor, Volumes of Pleasure; Morro Bay – Backstage Salon, Coalesce
Bookstore, Coffee Pot Restaurant, The Rock, Southern Port Traders, Sunshine
Health Foods, Two Dogs Coffee, La Parisienne Bakery.
• SAN LUIS OBISPO: Broad St. Laundry, Cool Cats Café, La Crepes, Edna Market,
Booboo Records, Creekside Center, GALA, Marigold Nails, Palm Theatre, Susan
Polk Insurance, Utopia Bakery, Unity Church, Zoe Wells, Naturopath, Cal Poly
Library and Women’s Center, Center for Alternatives to Violence, Chamber of
Commerce, Cuesta College Library, EOC Health Services Clinic, HealthWorks,
Healing Alternatives, Laguna Laundry, Linnaea’s, Monterey Express, Natural
Foods Coop, New Frontiers, Nautical Bean, Outspoken Beverage Bistro, Phoenix
Books, Planned Parenthood, West End Espresso & Tea, San Luis Obispo Housing
Authority Office, SARP, The Secret Garden, SLO Perk Coffee, Spirit Winds
Therapy, The Studio Fitness for Women, Uptown Cafe, Yoga Centre, Ahshe Hair
Salon, Apropos Clothing, Soho Hair Salon, Hempshak, YMCA, KCBX, Salon on
Monterey, Jaffa Café, Med Stop (Madonna Plaza), World Rhythm and Motion,
Steynberg Gallery, Correa Chiropractic, High St. Deli, Sunset N. Car Wash,
Jamaica You, United Blood Services.
• SOUTH COUNTY: Arroyo Grande – Mongo’s, Act II Boutique, Central
Coast Yoga, CJ’s Restaurant, Curves-AG, Cutting Edge, EOC Health Services
Clinic, Girls Restaurant, Grande Whole Foods, Chameleon; Avila Beach– Avila
Grocery, Custom House, Sycamore Hot Springs, Inn at Avila, Joe Mamma’s;
Grover Beach – Back Door Deli, Cindi’s Wash House, Nan’s Pre-owned
Books, Therapeutic Body Center, 30-minute Fitness; Halcyon – Halcyon Store;
Nipomo – Anna’s Creekside Coffee House, Healing Touch Spa, Curves, La Placita
Market, Healthy Inspirations, World Gym, Trendy Sister Salon, Senior Centers;
Pismo Beach – Honeymoon Café, Pismo Athletic Club, RETurn to JOY!; Shell
Beach – De Palo & Sons Deli, Seaside Cafe, Steaming Bean.
• SANTA MARIA: Café Monet, Hunter’s Landing, Library, Curves on Main and
on Broadway, Lassen’s.
• ORCUTT: Loading Dock, Oasis Spa.
22 Resources Women’s Press September & October 2010

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ABUSE
Adults Molested as Children Support Compulsive Eaters Anonymous, H.O.W. La Leche League Alzheimer/Dementia Resource Center
Group (AMAC) Rape Survivors Support Concept 489.9128 800.443.1236
Group, SLO 546.1178 | w w w.ceahow.org
Migrant Childcare Program Alzheimer’s Association
Support Group for Sexual Assault Drug & Alcohol Services 544.4355 | 466.3444 547.3830
Survivors 781.4275
545.8888 MOMS Club of South SLO count y CALL–Concerned Agoraphobics
Narcotics Anonymous 473.2548 | w w w.southslomomsclub.org Learning to Live
Center for Alternatives to Domestic 549.7730 & 800.549.7730 543.3764
Violence Partnership for Children
781.6406 Overeaters Anonymous 541.8666; ask for Beth Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)
541.3164 542.0577 ( SLO), 927.1654 (Cambria),
North Count y Women’s Shelter & Real F.A.C.T.S. (Forum on Abused Children) 466.8600 (North County)
Resource Center, (inc. domestic SCA, SLAA & SAA (Sex, Love & Romance 460.9016
violence support groups) Addictions) Communit y Counseling Center
461.6084 Social Services 543.7969
461.1338 781.1600
SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery & TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) Creative Mediation
929.1789 | w w w.tops.org Support for Kids Coping with 549.0442
Prevention) Domestic Violence
545.8888 | 800.656.HOPE (4673) Women for Sobriet y 473.6507 Dealing With Divorce
Women’s Shelter Program of SLO 215.536.8026 | www.womenforsobriety.org 544.9313
781.64 | w w w.womensshelterslo.org Depresson and Bipolar Support
EMERGENCY/CRISIS Alliance Group
CHILDREN & FAMILIES Hotline 927.3703
ADDICTIONS Birth and Baby Resource Center w w w.slohotline.org 800.549.8989 Eating Disorders Support Group
AA Meeting 546.3755 | w w w.bbrn.org 546 -3774; free- meets week ly in SLO
Sexual & Rape Prevention (SARP)
541.3211 Childcare Resource Connection 545.8888 | 800.656.HOPE (4673) Grief Drop-In Support Groups
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) 541.2272 | 800.727.2272 544.2266, multiple meetings avail.
Temporary Restraining Order &
498.2176 Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) Victim Witness Program Project Lifesaver
Al-Anon “A child’s voice in Court in SLO County” 781.5821 548.0909 | www.projectlifesaverofslo.org
534.9204 541.6542
Safe and Sober Support Group
Cambria Connection (12 step support) Children’s Services Network 473.6507
927.1654 781.1847 EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
A.D.A.P.T. (Aid in Divorce Adjustment Transformations Counseling Center
Casa Solana First 5: Children & Families 541.7908; Free monthly workshops
Commission Problems Today)
Women’s Recovery Home 543.0388
481.8555 781.4058; ask for Susan Hughs
Adult Day Center (activit y program
Chemical Dependency intensive Homeschooling in SLO Count y (HSC)
for adults with Alzheimer’s Disease)
FINANCE/BUSINESS
outpatient program 462.0726; ask for Barbara
690 Petersen Ranch Road, Templeton, Consumer Credit Counseling Services
541- 9113 La Clinica De Tolosa CA 93446 | (805)434-2081 800.540.2227
238.5334
Women’s Press September & October 2010 Resources 23
GAY & LESBIAN MEDICAL SUPPORT/ POLITICAL Hungry Hearts Spiritual Communit y
RC liturgy with womanpriest
Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the SERVICES Code Pink 546.8672
Central Coast ALS Support Group (Lou Gehrig’s w w w.codepinkslo.org;
541.4252 ososousaville@charter.net New Beginnings Church
Disease) Every Sunday, Coalesce Bookstore, MB
PFLAG.Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays 227.4785 | 674.4162 Commission on Status of Women
438.3889 788.3406 | w w w.slowomen.org Self-Realization Fellowship
Alzheimer’s Support Sunday Services
SOL (Single Older Lesbians) 547.3830 ( SLO) | 534.9234 (Los Osos) Democratic Women United 995-1599
474.9405; Mostly socializing! 888.488.6555 541.4252
American Cancer Societ y League of Women Voters
543.1481 | 238.9657 ( SLO) 543.2220 WOMEN’S CENTERS/SHELTERS
HOSPICE 434.3051 (Templeton)
Homeless Shelter
NOW (National Organization for
Hospice of SLO Count y, AIDS Anorexia Nervosa & Bulimia Support Women) 781-3993
Bereavement Group Group w w w.kcbx.net/~slonow/slonow@kcbx.net
544.2266 | 434.1164 541.9113 Housing Authorit y
543.4478
Hospice Partners of the Central Coast Arthritis Foundation
782.8608 892.5556 READERS/ WRITERS North Count y Women’s Resource
Center, Shelter
Cancer/ Breast Cancer Support Groups Adult Literacy 461.1338
JOBS/CAREERS 543.1481 ext. 3 for information 541-4219
Prado Day Center (for the homeless)
AARP Caregivers of Aging Parents Creative Writing Group 786.0617 | w w w.pradodaycenter.org
788.2643 543.7969 748 -2676; contact Gloria
Women’s Communit y Center, SLO
Cal Poly Foundation Celiac Disease Support Group Nightwriters 544.9313
Jobline 756.7107 226.9893 549.9656; contact Shirley Powell
www.calpolyfoundation.org Women’s Shelter Program of SLO
Endometriosis Association Sisters in Crime 781.6400; 24 hour crisis line
Cal Poly Universit y w w w.endometriosisassn.org http://SinC-CCC.blogspot.com w w w.womensshelterslo.org
756.1533 | http://calpolyjobs.org
Enhancement, Inc. (for breast
Cuesta College cancer survivors)
Jobline 546.3127 771.8640 | w w w.enhancementinc.com SENIORS OTHER WOMEN’S
http://w w w.cuesta.edu Adult Day Care ORGANIZATIONS
EOC Health Services Clinics
The Creekside Career Center no or low cost reproductive health 489.8894 (A rroyo Grande); Altrusa International, Inc.
788.2600 | 237.3014 services 434.2081 (Templeton); 481.1039; Cici Wynn, President
w w w.slocareers.org 544.2478 (SLO) | 489.4026 (Arroyo Grande) 927.4290 (Cambria)
American Association of Universit y
Department of Rehabilitation Healthworks of the Central Coast Adult Protective Services Women
549.3361 No or low cost reproductive health 781.1790 781- 0922 | Karen w w w.aauw.org
services Caring Callers
Mission Communit y Services 542.0900 Camping Women
Corporation 547.7025 ext. 17 440.2723 | w w w.camping women.org
Women’s Business Partners Hearst Cancer Resource Center Computerooters: Computer help:
595.1357 | w w w.mcscorp.org 542.6234 489.6230 Hadassah.SLO
543.9452
Private Industry Council (PIC) IC Interstitial Cystitis/Painful Department of Social Services:
788.2601 | w w w.jobhunt.org Bladder Syndrome In-Home Support
464- 0564; 3rd Thursday, SLO, 7 - 9 pm 781.1790 OTHER GROUPS &
LEGAL Long-term Care Ombudsman Services Nursing help for the terminally ill GATHERINGS
of SLO Count y 781.5540
California Rural Legal Assistance 785.0132 Central Coast Peace and
544.7994 Elder and Dependent Adult Advocacy Environmental Council
Core Mediation Services
Lymphedema Education & Support and Outreach – Victim Witness 544.3399 | 783.2383
Group Assistance Center
544.6334 | medeee8@aol.com 782- 9300; 2nd Monday, 4-5 pm Uplif t Group Singing and Support
781-5821 Sunday @ 6pm, at the Senior Center
Creative Mediation Parkinson’s Support Groups 1455 Santa Rosa.
549.0442 Foster Grandparents.Senior
466.7226 (Atascadero/Templeton) Companions
District At torney’s Office – Victim 481.7424 (A rroyo Grande) 782.9200
Witness Center 541.8633 ( SLO)
781.5821 Senior Peer Counseling
Planned Parenthood Free, trained in.home counseling for 60+
Family Law Facilitator 549.9446 ( SLO) 547.7025 ext. 15
788.3418 Stroke Support Group
Lawline 471.8102 ( SLO) Please send additions, corrections
788.2099 Caregivers of Stroke Survivors
SPIRITUAL or deletions to:
Law yer Referral and Information 544.2266 ( SLO) Awakening Interfaith Spiritual womenspress.slo@gmail.com
Service Communit y or leave a message at the WCC:
The Wellness Community - Cancer Support Meditation, Sunday Services, Classes.
541.5502 238.4411 805.544.9313.
772- 0306;Open to all.
Pro Per Divorce Workshop Women’s Support/Therapy v (general) awakeninginterfaith.org
544.9313 534.1101 Last update 9/7/10.
Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment
Senior Legal Services Women’s Healthcare Specialists 541.1963 | w w w.spiritualcircle.org
543.5140 544.4883
Women’s Community Center
PO Box 15639
San Luis Obispo, CA 93406 325

805 544-9313

Clare Lowery L.Ac.

Acupuncture & Herbal Medicine
Licensed for 20 Years

Shirodhara oil treatment

805-541-6772
ClareLowery.com