Está en la página 1de 96

1

Relate
-Brad Odilo-
Introduction......................................................................... i
Prelude.................................................................................. ii
Dedication............................................................................ iv

CONTENTS
1] Find Yourself to Define Yourself.................................................. 11
2] Gifts, Talents and Mastery.............................................................. 17
3] The Fragile Piece................................................................................ 23
4] Diversity................................................................................................. 29
5] Lessons in Experiences.................................................................... 37
6] Events and Processes....................................................................... 43
7] Seasons.................................................................................................. 47
8] How To Relate.................................................................................... 53
9] Relate..................................................................................................... 61
10] Relationship-ing.............................................................................. 67
11] Black or White Maybe Grey........................................................ 77
12] Progression....................................................................................... 81
13] The Invaluable Relationship........................................................ 89
Introduction.

I will take you to the place I have to take you. It is so clear and made up, not
fictional opposite from far sighted. It resounds from deep within my exis-
tence. I have something that is burning a lot of prompting within me but there
is one solid a defined problem: My weakness is defining my simplicity. I used to
think i was a simple guy but I realized I am not! Proverbs from King Solomon
influenced my mind and outlook to change.

I bought a notepad to write something on it but I did not know what to clad it
with. Then this idea came to write this book and I jumped on it. Some things
you really cannot get the picture why you do at the beginning so I stayed
hopeful that one day I would know what I had to write. My simple desire was
to put all i had inside out, to let it radiate bumping into similarity to someone
who relates with me on this level.

Where I take you is somewhere I do not even know myself. It is like art: having
a paint brush and a pad, drawing but no clue whatsoever you are drawing but
the end is inevitable. The bigger picture will come up. When you see it, every-
one else sees it. Confidence and freedom are my leanings. I will trust God and
also trust myself!!!

-24 April 2008-

i
Prelude.

Avenue from Heart Adventure!

There is a straightforward path that is so clear for every eye to see, yet as you
determine that familiarity strikes your senses all the way you stay deceived.
For what is ahead is what you discover as you walk it because every step is a
move forward from the previous. Previous describes what was and also points
out an elevation from a certain angles’ view. Therefore life is a progressive
phenomenon. For this reason that is why I could not keep in the box until all
the questions before I could start on this write where answered simply be-
cause you will never get all the answers.

There is always a guarantee that you will always acquire a change in percep-
tion as you take the adventure, as you act based on what you cannot define.
God knows all the answers, for us is just to step out. Do not worry if you will
fall because you will inevitably stumble into some progression. So what you do
not understand at the moment, use what you understand from what you have
understood to give you the adventurous heart…

I will never understand people to their core! Intents are not that bare to
discern only God can do that! Since I will never do the perfect story, what
disallows me from doing a story? Perfectionism is a subtle thief of exploration
and time under the comfort that it is much better when all is defined.

So I will take you where I go and wherever my heart is led. It might be that
generalization occurs or probably preferably specificity is apparent but that
only fulfills my gift and a deep part of me. This is because exposure of a hid-
den thing is enjoyable. I would have presented something based on what is oc-
curring to humanity. You may not identify it but it does not mean its non-ex-
istence, it only really defines the hugeness of our realm. Wherever I take you
concerning people, accept with the appreciation of existence though you
might not take it with the appreciation of belief. The basic is people are di-
verse and what is noted points out existence.

My invitation is therefore for you to allow me to lead the avenue walk. That
avenue being uprooted from the adventure my heart is taking. An adventure

ii
guided by the one who took my heart captive with His love! Let me put into
words what eyes look at but cannot comprehend so that I lay it plain and en-
able eyes to see and understand people and thus make based decisions on the
leaning of progressive discovery. People are diverse and that is the epitome
of fulfilled existence.

That is the wonderful truth that enables peace. You have to understand you
are one bit of a chunk of spice that came from a creative Creator so subse-
quently it is vital to be you and allow the bit that you are to be broken down.
This is the very precedence that I’m writing this book on. In simplicity, allow
me to paint the white black for eyes to see clearly what exist, though I will
never be able to paint the whole picture.
The good and consequent part is that this way people get to comprehend
the smaller pixels everyone is and highlight with truth what each is destined
to be; THE BIGGER PICTURE OF LIFE!

The only predicament is that knowledge is not enough to embrace without


application because celebration is befitting only after knowledge is applied.
In essence of the fragrance of life; KNOW what exists as it impresses you to
APPLY in the way you have UNDERSTOOD it to be relevant to you. This
appreciation of existence squeezes the importance of every person in their
uniqueness and as a pixel to the big picture that was already photographed.
God being the photographer!

My heart adventure is from what I have not quite understood but what I
would have definitely painted black. The journey is for everyone because we
are all in progression whether positive or negative. Let the moment exposed
shed light on your existence entwined with the expectation for the realiza-
tion for what God has made. Enjoy every moment and do not be consumed
with the big picture, be the best pixel you were made to be.

In the right time all the pixels will get to see the big picture but it starts by
appreciating what the other pixel is and adding from them what they need to
be or subtracting but ultimately using it for your best!

iii
Dedication.

To the writer in me and to the writer who has not yet met thyself; creation
awaits to read what has been scripted on the tablet of you heart, so write it out.

iv
10
1
Find yourself to define yourself.

To find one’s self is undoubtedly a job that can prove to be difficult for many not just
realistically but even subconsciously. This is probably because it involves the issue
of discovering your identity. Identity is by far the greatest algorithm that man has to
grapple with.

If it was a walk in the path to define your identity then it would have been a case most
wanted. Searching is however a pose that accompanies work and history informs us
that work is not humanity’s favorite acquaintance. The work to identify your identity
is intertwined with having to master systems around us that are constantly exerting
on our perspectives. Exertion means there is always a force being applied and conse-
quently there is a resultant effect that is produced from such pressure. This pressure
then works against our natural states whilst morphing our original designs; the reason
why identity identification becomes a mammoth task.

With that being described, it’s imperative to note that:

11
“Who you are is solely based upon how you see yourself’, How you see is based on
the definition available on how to see yourself and What comes after finding yourself
is accepting the outcome of what you have let define you”.

The chief requisite in finding yourself is acceptance that there can never be anyone
like you. The people around you by default are the environment that aids you to grasp
your identity, regardless of the state of the environment. Your environment helps you
to grasp what you are not. It reveals to you subconsciously what you do not have as
a default in you hence pointing you towards your identity. Where you were born and
how you were born are necessary ingredients to the person that you are. One of the
errors in life is to disregard who we are inclusive of our bad choices, upbringing, for
what our lives were destined for! Everything and yes everything that happens in your
life concocts the person you are now!

Life is a journey that has references that we can look back at and pick out something
about the travel that has imparted itself in how we are. It is amazing that whenever
you ask someone who they are you never ask what they would or are working to
become. What you went through does not stand to define you but when we have to
define you at a standpoint the reference is always your journey up to where you are!
Good intentions say nothing about our definition and place in life. They only serve to
be a projection of the hope we desire to become. So the person that you are now can
be amounted from the start of your journey to where you are at!

Discovery is a dynamic phenomenon never staying constant while life is all about per-
ception! Therefore our perspectives are either progressing or retrogressing, it is inev-
itable. Finding is a verb and that implies discovery and discovery is segregation of the
untruths to getting the truth. To find something means you have to come into contact
with the other things that are not that specific thing that you are looking for. There-
fore discovery is an aim to locate a truth; however location of a truth is not enough,
appreciation of that truth is the consequent. Appreciation is acceptance based upon
what is truth. Naturally we have been conditioned by life to confirm truth by our phys-
ical sight. This is important to a certain degree and should not be cast away, however
it is incomplete. There exist a merge between perceivable truths and unperceivable
truths but ultimately one truth has to take control and that control is given by what we
choose to accredit as the supreme truth! That is the battle between what can be seen
and what cannot be seen. The truth that you decide to be your reality determines how
you will discover yourself.

I have been putting it plain that there is the existence of truths and they come in main-
ly two ways: the seen and the unseen. That being stated means that no justification
can be ever created to nullify another truth.
12
If I believe what I want it strictly means I believe what I prefer, this then becomes the
basis for my belief foundation. Liberally speaking, every choice that we make is moti-
vated by preference. This is very important to underpin because if what separates us is
in how we choose, it becomes clear that we have to scrutinize our preferences against
a certain plumb line. Scrutiny is based, and we go back again, upon truth. It is now
inevitable that truth be defined because it distinguishes between preferences.

Truth is therefore, that perceivable or unperceivable reality that is consistently


constant in line with the expected result that it proclaims to be. The hallmark of
truth is the result it produces that it says it will.

Even after that submission, truth is still hard a reality to define, largely because hu-
manity is a relative-over-absolute bunch of species and thus a solid basis becomes
problematic to establish. This then means no matter anywhere or wherever, truth will
always deliver on its basis.

So the essence of finding ones’ self is locating what is truth according to them!

Principally speaking, you are defined by what you believe truth to be! In other words
there exists a bias in every truth simply because the believer would have decided to
be guided by a particular truth against other truths. You only consider something to
be truth after you have locked in your belief on it that it is truth because belief is the
greater life. Because truth is based upon belief, we come again to the playing field of
choice.

Your choice of which truth you decide to hold superior defines the differences amongst
others. This is the source of our differences amongst humanity. We are differentiated
not by our capabilities, failures, aspirations, skin color, physical appearances and lan-
guage but by our beliefs. We are defined by what we believe! So then every human
being adheres to a truth that they believe whether consciously or subconsciously. So
we live in a world where we define what we want truth to be. We believe what we want!
Therefore this subject of belief is the determining factor in distinguishing people. Take
it or leave it but whatever and who you are and how you deal with situations come
from what is in you.

It is interesting to note that some people say that they do not believe in anything but

13
with all respect this is about the stupidest thing you could say! What you believe is
what you speak, you may say you do not believe what you say, if that is the case then
why say what you say? There is no such thing as I do not believe in anything; your
disagreement over something is as a result of what you deem truth about something
to be. Strictly speaking what you deem something to be is what you prefer truth to be.

In clarity form as far as we have reached, people can be defined in 3 categories:

1) Those who believe in Truth


2) Those who believe in their Truth
3) Those who say they do not believe in any Truth

I seek and pursue to outline what exists with impartiality and I have taken great lengths
to come to the consideration that religion is the ONLY stable ground for our defini-
tion. I use the word religion loosely in this context just to categorize the diverse beliefs
that humanity adheres to and as a means to classify and encompass all peoples.

We must appreciate unequivocally that humanity believes whether knowingly or un-


knowingly in a greater power than itself. This is undisputable; you would be a fool not
to, for the simple reason that you did not create yourself. This belief of a greater pow-
er is the basic truth for everybody! Consequently a greater power controls or rather is
the focus of a people. Now stop, focus here is a vital word. This is because focus is not
enough to define people because at the end of the day people have choices.

A greater power then has to align the lesser power to it. It’s common sense that that
which has the greater power aligns that which is inferior to its power. Consequently
religion shapes culture and not vice versa. The latter is the solid reason why you are
defined by what you believe and not by where you live. After this is appreciated, the
reason why we are not uniformly defined is then revealed; our understanding of that
greater power! To establish this fundamental, I have to reiterate that a greater power
exists! This is not indoctrination but a reality that has to be perfectly put into percep-
tion and take note, perception and not place. This is simply because truth can never
be put in place. Putting in place solely describes a cover upon something meaning
that you contain what you can put into place. Now truth of a greater power cannot
be contained but can only be appreciated. Appreciation gives space for adjustments.
Wait here!? You are contradicting yourself! No! Please reread this whole paragraph
again, it is crucial that you grasp it.

14
Truth does not change and never ever will need adjustments if it is truth. Real truth
has to adjust you and not it. This could be a subtle indication if what you deem truth
to be is really truth. Now it is inevitable that truth will be controversial simply because
people exists who won’t want to take what truth is to be true!

Honestly the subject of truth is inexhaustible and as I mentioned earlier cannot be put
in place but in perspective. Therefore we appreciate that truth is what is needed to de-
fine ourselves. We abandon this great consideration and distinguisher and appreciate
without a doubt that it is that which defines us!

AS a step ahead in progression we have discovered that we find ourselves by finding


the truth. Our seeking should come to the point of appreciating our truth. Once we
determine our truth then we are defined! Defined by what we chose to believe!

In a nutshell, the truth we believe defines us!

This is now a settled case. Definition is a separator; it is segregation at its core. The
beauty is that we get to understand existence in diversity. This is not a platform to
defend my definition, it is simply idiotic. Time does not entertain what we have chosen
to do with it. Every day, it will always tick 1440 minutes. In this global system, the same
Oxygen and means of exchange i.e. time, exists. Qua this, it simply is amazing how life
can be so a movie to enjoy. Every person living out what they have intended to live.

Life is intentional or rather should be, no matter your circumstance. At this point it
would be nice just to applaud everybody with a pat on the back by saying ‘Have a
good life living it the way you deem it is supposed to be lived’. Sadly this is so decep-
tive and dangerous.

The vitality of our differences as humanity is its importance in aiding us to grasp our
similarities and common good. In essence different people exist because of what they
have chosen to believe. Always respect a choice, no matter how futile you deem it to
be. Someone’s choice is their opinion based upon who they are. It is only fair however
for me to boldly declare that some opinions are absurd but another choice I ought to
make is to respect. Every human being taking the slightest Oxygen has a place and
that has its place. Understanding different definitions gives us to weigh our impact on
each other.

15
Why do you define yourself the way you do?

Give room for understanding and do not stereotype. The best we can do is encourage
each other to find the real truth. That is the only way we can achieve the maximum in
our minimum. Thus with guided and careful observation we can identify the difference
in people simply by appreciating what they believe. Make sure and be honest about
what you let define you because people inevitably and consequently will treat you on
a long time level based on where you stand and how you have portrayed it to them.

Find your truth to define yourself in life! Let’s continue the journey in the next chapter.

16
2
Gifts, Talents And Mastery.

Belief defines difference but significance defines commonplace!

Interaction is the contact of every human being and that is why no man should be
an island. Connection is the indicator of a need of togetherness and it lies deep in us
as human beings. Our perpetual drive for clarity is our innate desire to want to find
out what were meant to contribute. We are constantly searching for clarity. Clarity
is the outcome of appreciating that there is a need to exist in a defined world which
eliminates confusion. We are all part of the bigger picture called life and this means
each one is significant and has a part that they desire to play. This is the chase for the
phenomenon called significance. Simply put, significance is being able to contribute
something of value to the greater cause of humanity. In light of this, that is why clarity
of our contribution preoccupies us.

The reason why religions clash but businesses relate regardless of belief is because
of the latter point. Business is an interaction that has the denominator of money and
religious belief system is not the priority. Business is a mechanism that facilitates the
existence of humanity on this Earth whereas religion chiefly seeks for an inner harmo-
ny as you prepare for afterlife.

17
Everyone therefore has something to offer that affects humanity. This offering is placed
in us individually as Gifts and Talents!

Talent is the ability to mold quality while gift is the ability to create quality.

This then means life is a display of quality; quality molded and quality created. Life
is a stage where displays occur on the big screen affecting everyone around us but
mostly affecting us individually. Quality is interactive and the craving of humanity. The
reality however is that quality is expensive because it is based on the consideration of
uniqueness.

You are expensive, in fact, priceless but do you realize that?

Once there is clarity about significance the next desire is an avenue to be able to ex-
press that significance. This avenue of expression is what a platform becomes. A plat-
form is anything that allows the significance in an individual to be dispensed.

Platforms are critically important as an avenue to make quality accessible and ex-
changeable; it acts like the solid ground which holds quality. An illustration can help
bring out the point vividly: imagine having prepared a dish of Chicken and Mush-
room Pasta for a guest, a scrumptious meal for some. We do agree that in decency
of default, the dish then has to be shared or rather in a strict sense distributed to the
consumer somehow. This distribution has to be a packaging that is right. It might be
a plate, tray or anything to hold the dish.

To explain the concept using the illustration: The plate is the platform. The statement
‘hold the dish’ is a spontaneous word. A spontaneous word is my ascribed vocabulary
to describe a word in which there is an action involved and also either one or more
characteristic is happening at the same time. Other examples of such words are look-
ing, dancing, hearing. Leniently though every word we can think of can be a sponta-
neous word. Whilst holding the meal, the plate is allowing us to see the quality of the
food being held. It should now be appreciable that a platform holds (remember it in
its spontaneous sense) quality.

Points to note from the illustration:


You might have quality but without platform it is useless! The good news, remarkably
about life is that your very existence is a platform on its own. This means the first base
18
platform you have by default is yourself! Your success at this primary level determines
your promotion which will determine if you deserve to be where you want and desire.
The freeing thing is that you determine how far you go in life not anyone else, it lies
with you. This is probably the greatest yet simple truth that has blinded excellence.

A person is someone who is what they are! Your environment stands to help define
what you have inside i.e. talents and gift. The best environment to define what is in
you is when in a difficult one. To be the best you have to face the worst! Have you ever
asked yourself why every product that is manufactured is tested before it is put out
for sale? Apparatus are placed under stress to see if they can withstand the worst or
rather the maximum that is expected to contrary them. This is because your best can
only be discovered and not be described or ascribed.

Quality is best defined as uniqueness! In essence anything that is deemed to be of


quality is original in existence and of an excelling nature. Being quality means that
means you possess quality. To recap, that quality is contained within you as the gifts
and talents so it is imperative that you recall that you are quality and have a platform
called yourself.

Success is progressive and never instant! If you are not successful at a small platform
there is no way success is going to come at the big platform. If there is no success at
the small platform (i.e. your default), there will not be any arrival to the big platform!
This is why talented and gifted people who have not excelled above their default
exist. It is simply because they did not perfect their talents and gifts by moving to
mastery to enter the big platform! You do not deserve a platform if you have nothing
to dispense, you have to dispense your quality! This is why it is vital to be you. Being
you is the purest way to dispense your gifts and talents. Being you emphatically
describes your personality, not your character. Personality is how you let out who you
are and character is who you are e.g. Love is a character but expression of love inside
is a matter of personality.

Gifts and talents have been entrusted to you, you need to grasp though they are never
yours but for humanity to be built up. It is easy to misplace this because you are the
dispenser! It can be hard to conceive but remember we are significant and that means
we are contributors to humanity’s welfare. The proclivity is to be selfish because your
will and you belief are the two virtues that no one can dominate you on. This is why it
is not right to force someone into anything. The greatest way to influence anyone is to
present your views and respect them to make their favorable decision. You will never
ever be selfish if you really grasp that you did not give existence to yourself!

19
I certainly hope all that I have written in precedence up to this point has helped you
immensely to put talents and gifts in perspective. I also hope that it has become clear
that you possess a primary platform called you. With that in mind, I trust that I have
set you up perfectly for you to grasp the biggest aspect of gifts and talents called
mastery!

Mastery is the highest desirable after realizing that you have gifts, talents and a plat-
form. Having identified the functionalities of your gifts and talents and gaining confi-
dence in what you possess and thus releasing it out of yourself can you entry mastery!
When you fully utilize the platform that you already are, then and only then can you
proceed to the bigger platform! That is why if you are not excellent where you are now
you can never go to where you know you can be. That is why what you are now and
what you do will count where you will be. What you are today is a small pixel to the
big-screen in a holographic sense that you will be.

A gift is specific; meaning your gift can never be dispensed identically with someone
else’s. Your gift outpours from you unconsciously simply because that is the quality
that you are. A gift comes out simply and is noticeable easily especially when you
are being you! Comparatively a talent is something that can waste away and is not
guaranteed forever. This is because a talent is based upon adaptability whilst a gift
is based upon your specificity! In another sense we can imagine that your gift is in
your DNA whilst your talent is a product of your mastered processes. You do not
need to discover your gift because you are it and constantly bumping into it, instead
you abound the more in your gift. Abounding means you experience and dispense
the person that you are naturally! A talent is however something you have to discover.
This is why it is important to be adventurous in its purest form.

For those who are parents and those that will be, this nugget of truth can help purpose
your children to their maximum in life: - Do not send your child to school for educa-
tion primarily but do so that they are exposed to diversity to aid them to discover their
quality. You ought to consider if where your child is going to learn is going to help
them reach their maximum. This is translated into choosing a school that provides
many options. Because options of quality are priceless that is why it would be expen-
sive to acquire your child a place in the ‘best schools’ there are. Focus on the options
that an institution provides for your child to be able to discover where their talents lie.

Perhaps the reason why many do not have the clarity of where their gifting and talent
is because they still pretend and shun their uniqueness and are still trying to be some-
one else. What I have discovered about talent is that it is based upon what you like
just about all the time. You are NEVER talented in what you do not like but you can
be gifted in what you do not like.
20
A talent is ‘addable’, by this I mean a talent can be increased, generated the more.
Have you ever wondered why if you are talented in something you tend to spend
more time in that talent? It has been said “Practice makes perfect”. The actual point to
note from that adage is that you naturally almost by reflex occupy yourself with what
you like and hence as you do, you perfect whatever you are giving attention to.
In fact, what you like can be what you are talented in to give you a hint where
you are gifted in! This is why it can be hard to distinguish where you are gifted in
and where you are talented at. You increase or decrease in talent but you abound the
more in your gift. You can never ever do anything to increase your gift because it is
what you have been given! If you received a beautiful card from your sweetheart, you
would not write a love poem on it to make it seem that they wrote it. You can cut off
the part that you liked about the card though e.g. a bear holding a heart and then glue
it to another part, write a few loving words and then give it to someone; that is talent!

Treasure was never meant to be simply adored but also to be appreciated. Apprecia-
tion is only active in deed i.e. you appreciate something or someone by being the re-
ceiver of their dispensation. Therefore humanity appreciates you if you are dispensing
your quality. This is why some people seem to be popular, favored by humanity. What
then is their key or rather the key to all of this? Mastery is the key! It is the confidence
in your quality i.e. gifts and talents to the point that you do not hold back and are
unashamed to dispense it.

Be excellent where you are with what you are! It is stupid and totally being lazy to say
I have nothing to give! You are quality but people need to see that quality. Success in
life comes by mastering at least one thing. Master your quality and dispense it! This
means you have proven to yourself not to anyone that you are quality. After this are
you then able to dispense your maximum. Be honest to yourself to figure out what
your gifting and talent is! Do not be deceived, everyone has got quality. Find it out, it
is not even that hard to locate. For your talent, search in the things you like! For your
gift search who you are and what comes out naturally, it maybe what you like but not
always. Once you are certain be diligent with it! Do your best to let the quality come
out in perfection out of you by being appreciative. By the time you reach perfection,
the bigger platform would have arrived. Do not try to make your own platform. Be the
best platform that you are! The major thing that separates gratitude and ingratitude
is being selfless with your quality!

Master your platform and dispense your gifts and talents for humanity to be edified.

21
22
3
The Fragile piece!

To every complex structure there is a prototype, for every delicious cake there is a
required recipe and for every achievement there is set order of steps that need to be
followed. The point is every output has an input that orders how that product exists.

There is an unwritten law which states that the important thing is the basic!

Every idea, thought, action, intention, aspiration, desire, calculation comes out of de-
fined space. Consider even that you came out of a single cell! Life is basic and simple
to its core. Understanding the basics is the virtue of all success. Success is never in-
stant; it is a series of continuous victories. What you achieve and beat, you can only
admire and appreciate it in relation to prior successes that have allowed you to have
a starting base. You ought not to boast about anything in life simply because life in
itself is a progressive phenomenon.

What is simple is often hard to understand because our perceptions have been condi-
tioned to overlook simplicity birthing a mindset ready to always tackle complex things
overlooking the basic. If you suppress something for long it becomes insignificant and
with more externality it becomes non-existent. It’s more like if you tell yourself a lie for
23
long you end up believing it Complexity is progression and is appreciable in a relative
sense, this means complexity is desirable and beneficial comparatively but it depends
on what you are considering.

Enjoyment is to the maximum when the basic things to consider in life are in the right
place. Needless to state, what differs though is what each person considers. What you
consider depends on your level in life in relation to the responsibilities that you have
to handle. In spite of this for every person there is something that is inarguably im-
portant and that is life itself!

Life is important! Life constitutes some basic necessities that revolve around clean air,
food, water, shelter, clothes, relationships, dreams and hope. There is no need to state
what important is, if you are honest there are about a few things that are important. A
hint is that which you cannot live without; the fundamentals for existence! This sounds
more like needs and rightly so, needs are important because if they are not met exis-
tence heads for a terminal. Life is that simple! That is the fundamental foundational!

In periods of progression, changes occur and whenever a change appears, a shift oc-
curs. Change in essence should always be forward and never backwards but it is not
always the case. The itch of every human being is the desire to realize the success that
is built inwards however the tragedy of life is to know how it should be but living un-
der what it should not be! A point here then is how do you know life should be? How
have you come to appreciate life to be? What is described as the normal life and who
defines normal? Humanity is constantly searching for the better but who has said we
have not attained the better?

It follows again that life is a perception!


Perception can be deception that has been blinded by arrogance to what is happen-
ing. Life is simple but is a stability of a balance. Simplicity is better but arrogance to
complexity is also dangerous! With all there is to life, understanding is a principal
thing. That is why the Bible says ‘in all thy getting get understanding’. ‘The person
who knows the how is always subject to the one who knows the why’. Understanding
balance is thus important to understanding that the important is the basic because
what you ignore delays your progression!

So life is indeed simple and should be to its core but also arrogance to complexity
is dangerous! Therefore appreciate what life should be about and also appreciate
complexity but do not let it be your preoccupation. The on-going move from height
to height is appreciable for our record books but for individuals is it? We need as hu-

24
mans to come to a vital state of contentment. Abuse of simplicity or rather a misun-
derstanding of it leads to chaos. You are you! Why should I be Arnold Schwarzeneg-
ger, then who gets to write my story? Why should I like pizza when i do not and why
should that be surprising? Just because I’m a man why should I be a fanatic of soccer?
And if i do not know a lot about cars does that make me weird? Why should i know
the latest track by Lil Wayne?

The fundamentally foundational concept of you has been degraded! You are made
in the uniqueness that only you can have and that suits the one who made you. This
reminds me of the motto of my junior high school: - Esse Quam Videri, which means
Be What You Are. The fundamentally foundational is the concept of you! Simplicity is
the fundamental thing. Do not complicate living life. Look at what the big picture is
and do not get caught up in the other pixels that make up the big picture!

Appreciate simplicity but also consider complexity! So what is it that is contained in


everybody? What is it that finds commonplace in every aspect of an individual as the
core of every exudation they produce? What is the centerpiece of man? Every human
being should have it and without it, the qualification renders one alien! It’s should
be clear that there is the fundamentally foundational and then the basic being the
important which is what makes life simple in living! Understanding the basics of exis-
tence is the virtue of success.

Life revolves around different entities that make it up to be complete. Completeness


is possible because there is a connectedness and a relation between those entities. To
fully utilize the relationship that exists, we have to be able to at least compartmental-
ize each unit. So what is at the core of every entity?

Everyone has a heart which is the engine of our being; the fragile piece.

Every motor and every complex structure that exist can be summarized. It is like a
hologram: - every point contains the whole deal about the whole. Take one piece and
that is all you need. The centerpiece of the masterpiece we are, is so distinguished but
at varying levels. The core of the body is the cell; the core of how we do what we do
is the brain; the core of what we are is the heart! It is the intrinsic unit of the resplen-
dence that we are. Existing by default but functioning by our design. It’s a system so
neutral and impartial, working to the optimum of what we choose to be. Our hearts
are what we are! Everything that we do outflows from what we are! What are we then?
Simple, what our hearts say we are!

25
Life revolves around the element of people and people revolve around the basic of
hearts! It is all about your heart and what you got in it. You got everything you need,
inside your heart. Your engine as a person is quality and eternally able to drive you
through the progressive phenomenon. Understand that your heart, the center of you
is quality default and that diversity exists in you, meaning everyone is different; every-
one has a different roadmap. Each person has been assigned differently and equipped
differently but the big picture of the assignment is so clear. So since you are diversity
this notes that we take different routes to get to where we have to be but there are
only similarities to back us up. Our hearts are all capable of the same task!

Our hearts are the fundamental where everything bubbles out from reaching out to
what it can find. Everyone operates from their inner self; the only distinguisher be-
tween humanity is what constitutes your inner man i.e. your heart! Everything an apple
tree resembles outside is how an apple tree it is inside. This means that our hearts are
programmed by what we let in: this includes everything to every experience and every
moment we have gone through on mother Earth. Your heart is your responsibility!

Life is designed to follow a course, a reason why we go through stages. In fact every
creature is made for stages to facilitate growth. The course that life was made to be
is controlled by your heart. It is true to say something is only as strong as its weakest
link. Paradoxically a heart is the strongest yet fragile piece. Our hearts were made to
be the weakest links to enable us to know how strong we are! Concentrated with the
most dear we consider but are the site of our reflexes. Reflexes that do not need either
an upgrade or degrade. The beautiful part is that the system works indispensably to
relate everything out but our beings feed it. Our hearts are the most sensitive organs
or rather invisible organs we possess. Receptive to every reality that exists in the dy-
namic of this our space. The million dollar tip and basic is that we are the ones that
choose what enters our hearts only and not the exit. We have to get it whilst it gets
in, analyze it and approve it! The big deal about a heart is that every output takes you
closer to a certain destination. If you put fuel into a vehicle and switch on the ignition,
definitely the engine will jerk to move the chassis. The biggest consideration is how
far you want to go!

Your desired destination determines the amount of fuel you inject in your engine.
Desires separate people into classes. The reason why some people do not care about
what they feed on is because they do not seek to go far. As you desire and determine
to go far you will find that your frustrations and struggles are not like everyone else’s.

Do you know where you want to go? Do you have the right destination map to where
every engine is supposed to take you? With the roadmap you have, do you know
who gave it to you or do you have the right road map for you? Now all the latter and
26
former information can only be found from the manufacturer. It is just so like you
needing the manual to be able to operate efficiently any gadget you purchase. Hu-
mans were purchased because we do not belong to ourselves. The manual for us is
the truth! Comparatively to reality when you handle a manual you use the information
in that particular manual and then apply it to the product. For people the truth has to
be put in our hearts for us to function efficiently and properly! You know i can use an
LG manual book for a Samsung TV, although possible, this is not progressive because
using a combination of different components deters the optimum function intended.
Likewise other ‘truths’ could be fed in our hearts and definitely we will function simply
because our hearts are default and neutral in their work. The question is not to locate
the existence of a heart for no one is heartless.

Your heart can only get insensitive if you allow for it. Being insensitive is totally decep-
tive because you assume being strong enough to take the progressive phenomenon
of life alone. Remember that you are as strong as the weakest link! A heart that is
sensitive to reality is able to absorb reality better than an insensitive one. You cannot
pour liquid over a metal and expect absorption to take place but you can do the same
on powder and a solution will form. Sensitivity is not measured by the reaction and
production of tears, sensitivity is the adaptability to reality.

Anything that is reality has its basis to some truth. The thing about truth is that it is
true but humanity has a tendency to stick analytical perceptions in the form of wor-
shipping rationalism and that in itself develops insensitivity. However no system pro-
duced in quality will produce from invalid input. A baby needs milk; thirst needs water;
hunger needs food likewise heart needs truth!

If a heart does not acquire truth it definitely functions but under lies. So what is the big
deal if hearts still get to function right whether they are fed truth or lie? The big deal is
that fuel is energy that takes you to B from A, but you won’t see B until you get there!
Life is definitely a journey driven by the engine of your heart to a certain destination.
Interestingly we always picture as a place so desirable as if it’s automatic that every
journey will lead us to a desired destination. The truth however is that just because
desirable is available does not mean that your destination would be automatically de-
sirable. To get the best you got to give the best! I cannot say this any other way but
the best desirable destination can only be reached by putting the best fuel into the
engine that is taking you to that place. So the big deal is that if you input the best fuel
i.e. truth you will reach the desirable destination. If you do not put the best you will
reach a destination definitely but it won’t be the desirable destination.

Take care of a heart and you won’t regret. Taking care means your effort is needed and
work is the prerequisite of your desire! A fragile piece is contained by everybody but
27
can be made strong by getting the unbreakable piece. Your heart has to be beatable
to fit in the new, sound and in tune with reality. A heart is the jewel box of life con-
taining every bit in its adequacy. You can receive the best heart and work to maintain
it for the purpose it was intended. Check your heart and if it does not provide plea-
sure receive the gift of it! Life revolves around hearts because a heart is what it is! The
right heart is what determines everything. It ignores the whole baggage about who
to impress but just looking ahead because although the progressive phenomenon is
important what is most important is the arrival. Will you get to arrive, let alone to the
right place? Receive the gift of the right one and the destination that is desirable is
ascertained. It is like boarding a plane in a first class seat, and then you won’t need
to concern yourself if you will arrive to the intended destination. You might not reach
it physically probably of an accident but it will be settled where you are supposed to
be! For the right destination, the right heart fuel precedes it all. It all hinges on your
choice!

28
4
Diversity.

Diversity is the phenomenon of an outward show that everybody with their own eyes
in perception can view. It is not what one deems to view in respect to preference but
what is available inevitably for everyone to see. It is the existence of awkwardness,
abrupt, random order that finds appreciation in the sphere of the universal. It is self-
less and does not consider the existence of an individual but only regards the big
picture. Selfless as it is, it finds comparison in the gaps of normality simply because it
is a display.

Diversity is diverse and this is the reason why it can be easy to take it for granted be-
cause it lies in abundance. Interestingly enough a crisis is the best inspiration for valu-
ing what you have as a blessing. Therefore those who take quality time to adore and
embracing diversity are those that flourish. It is not a sin to abhor nature in its diversity
neither is it a sin to not drink water subjectively except as a constituent of other foods
but good health comes from drinking adequate water!

Diversity is like the signal that is constantly being sent out into the airwaves; but the
29
one who has the receiver, benefits. It is in you, around, everywhere! The truth is exis-
tence is a big display of diversity in all forms of life! Probably it is not easily apparent
simply because we are caught up in the abundance of it! The subtle thing about not
appreciating diversity in relation is that you go about routines and subsequently you
disregard the fluctuations of experiences. The result of our idealism is that we become
fixed and rigid shunning away what life has to offer because we would be stuck to one
dimension.

The greatest ingredient to being bored in life is being idealism. The drive that every-
thing has to be a particular way, occurrences have to line up to expectations and it
has to be tick to the dot. This is such a great travesty of living! Living was never meant
to be predictable because if it was then it would become an obligation to live. Life is
now! Anything that you put a sense of obligation to becomes a religion and it sucks
the joy and gladness immediately! The reason for such is that life is a progressive phe-
nomenon; the moment that you contain it means an increase ceases. When there is no
movement forward you get stuck to expect the best you once experienced with your
outlook not knowing that the best days are ahead!

Do not ever try to be the master of life but be the master of something in life!
When you try to contain something you assume power over it and your conduct will
always be overstretched. Life cannot be mastered but the situations can be! This is
why you are not immortal, that in itself is the inherent incapacity that defines our lim-
itations! It is not however life that is the hustle but it is how you deal with it!

The experience of diversity is fulfilling. The latter is the reason why there exists people
that are what we call tourists and for nations endowed with great diversity, benefit
tremendously from them economically. It took a deeper understanding for me to be
able to grasp that variety is the spice of living! The basic thing about diversity is that
it is a phenomenon that deviates from a standard and it is these deviations from the
standard that progress to establish it. For example; an Audi Q7 and a Toyota Fortuner
are different brands of vehicles but are both Sports Utility Vehicles; Zimbabwe and the
USA are economically and in vast ways unlike but are both countries; Basketball and
Cricket have nothing in common but are both sports; Karigamombe Centre and the
Taj Mahal are visibly and structurally apart but are both buildings; Lake Titicaca and
Lake Kariba flow in opposite directions but are both lakes; Kung Fu Panda and Flushed
Away are not similar but they are both animations; an Igloo and a Cabin are definitely
different but are all shelter. The point is, there is always a common basic point that
establishes diversity, something fundamentally foundational.

Lacking a firm understanding of the basics leads to a complicated and frustrated life.
The basic thing is the most important no matter how complicated something be-
30
comes. It is imperative to underline to that diversity is not a default but that it is cre-
ated. This is why everything that exists did just not find itself on Earth; it had to have
a source. There is an undeniable link between diversity and creativity. The possession
and exudation of creativity is the epitome of diversity.

Black, White, Mulato, Albino is different in skin color but are all people. Blind, crippled,
deaf, dumb, mentally retarded, physically challenged are all still people. People are
important, you are important! People are the epitome of pleasure to enjoy and give
enjoyment. Every person is designed to relate to show off what they can offer. This is
why every human has been packaged with gifts and talents to give off and denying
this fact is simply setting one’s self up for selfishness. At the very least any human per-
son can give of themselves. As diabolic as it seems, the prostitute has a better grasp of
their self-worth than an ignoramus person. The reason however prostitution is wrong
is simple; the prostitute gives of themselves not to relate but to be used. Any form of
abuse can never be relational, it is always selfish.

People are lovely, simply adorable, i sometimes laugh and always smile when I em-
brace someone because they offer a certain view of adventure for me. I LOVE PEOPLE!
This is something i have come to see and identify myself with. My best remedy to a
dragging day would simply to place myself in the way of diversity to embrace it. Life
will always have its moments but you must have always your people. A reason why
you need to stay connected to people than are true to who they are at their core! Be-
ing true to your core is an issue of authenticity which is simply pleasurable to receive.
Since you are a pleasure yourself, it should be in order for you receive the pleasure
that other people around you bring.

You do not have to disadvantage yourself into boredom because there is a remedy
for that ‘disease’. The ‘disease’ called boredom is contracted by stereotyping people.
Stereotyping is to shrug off the presentation of pleasure locked up in people! Never
stereotype anyone because each person is a resplendence of diversity. Diversity is also
not just the display of variety but it also includes the experience of that variety. Your
life is your living. Living is relational; therefore your life is simply fundamentally your
relationships!

You cannot have existence without relationships, relationships are everything. The
stupidest thing is to think you can live life exclusive of other people. You need some-
body, period. This is why a husband needs a wife; you need him/her/she/he. No man is
an island, none can stand alone. You however need to be alone at certain times to al-
low the development of what you carry inside so as to increase your capacity to reach
out. Aloneness makes you accumulate the desire to be relational; this is why when you
are alone you feel lonely. You feel lonely because the desire to relate is stirred up so
31
intensely. This is the reason why to develop a strong relationship with someone; you
have to spend time with them alone! This latter is in two parts:

1st Part:-
Since diversity is in you in every way it then follows that you are diversity yourself,
keeping in mind also that diversity is relational. Therefore spending time alone in-
creases you in the picture. You disregard other interruptions to let yourself vibrate.
Being alone is like the incubator to stir up ‘relationalism’. You make room to amplify
yourself and hence diversity, this is inevitable. The important thing to grasp is that how
you deal with your amplification afterwards determines everything. Spending time all
alone creates that energy to reach out. This is because there would be no exchange of
energy with another entity making it desirable to have someone to share with. What
happens then is being alone makes you relate to yourself. The focus becomes you.
So although time alone develops a relationship with yourself, how you deal with that
developed relationship is all that makes a difference. You have to channel that energy
in a dispensation to someone else. Being alone can make you realize your capabilities,
incapacities, qualities, passions and basically all about you. Essentially being alone de-
velops you but how you deal with the developed you can be for good to other people
or not. Here you then have to appreciate that life is not about you but about the di-
versity you are to give others to experience. It is a path to being unselfish! In turn you
experience who they are. So spend time alone and amplify yourself but afterwards do
not be selfish with because you would have a great deal to give. When you are low,
being alone should be the consideration rather than it being a preoccupation. The
best part of being alone comes when you come out to not being alone but instead
exposing your amplified diversity to others and also receiving their diversity.

Therefore the first part is spending time alone all alone to develop the relationship
with you. This is great but you then have to give away the developed relationship!

2nd Part:-
This is when you spend time alone with another entity. Inevitably the concept of being
alone brings about ‘relationalism’ like noted earlier. This second part is what you need
to grow relationships with the one you adore, that which you admire. It is like placing
particles in a vacuum and somehow a drawing agent exists simply because that is the
denominator of existence. Overall amplification would be magnified but it is quickly
expended because there would be the bumping of comparison.

Humanity has been given the capacity to talk, hear and see, meaning that there is an
expectancy of communication essentially at every level. It is like you put energy in a
container that is cold; the container inevitably has to vibrate that which is its energy.
32
So it radiates in vibration. The same happens to the other entity. Now what happens
to two individual entities with the same denominator? Addition occurs! Meaning there
is a fusion or combining effect to amplify their similarity.

So it is principally sound that relationships grow when given the platform to. The same
principle of platforms occurs with an addiction. Any addiction comes by simply giving
time/energy to something which could be either living or lifeless! The time/energy
expended will not be reciprocated but will reach a maximum. By the former i mean it
is like charging a battery, the obvious thing is that the battery becomes full and hence
reaches a maximum limit! No matter the amount of electricity that keeps flowing in, if
it becomes fully charged that’s it!

Continuing with the battery example; the battery is different from a bulb connected to
a battery that is being charged. In this case, the energy to charge it is almost instantly
transduced to light energy. This is different from the battery that is just being charged
and not being used, the bulb is almost instantly using the energy it receives without
storing any energy. That is a good example of relation; remember that relation comes
by dispensation. The energy in this example is dispensed, now with an addiction, en-
ergy amplified is stored. In other words this is being selfish because the energy stored
up is not anyhow used up for anything but just kept

So relationships will never grow when there is no exchange of energy! That is why it
is imperative to give quality time to someone when you desire a healthy relationship.
By healthy i mean a growing relationship. In the same light, it is possible to develop
an addiction to someone. The prerequisite is that the other entity dispenses their en-
ergy and the other does not! Addiction to someone is only justified when it is mutual.
That is why a relationship has to be relational. Tell me what is up, how are you doing,
what happened and then i also do the same! I mentioned earlier the dispensation of
energy. Energy is simply put as your experiences and they become energy because
you absorb them and keep them inside. Remember that only by dispensation is there
relation. So when you get to give away the potential energy will you then relate!

The vital note is to dispense the energy that you have to the other person or entity
and do not be stingy with it. When you give that is when you grow!

The big picture foretells that diversity brings a relationship with humanity and interac-
tion at the very least of every entity in existence. Therefore relationships are a part of
creation and need of the dependability of life.

33
You are not in a relationship with someone if you find yourself begging them to be
in that relationship. Instead freedom has to be available for any relationship to grow.
This is because freedom does not put you in containment to be something but allows
you to be you. The avenue for the expression is consequently diversity. Remember in
diversity there is no containment but it is the occurrence and experience of variety.
In essence diversity exists to manifest freedom so as to make humanity relational!
Without diversity, a mark would already be established and this brings a nullity to
advancement as the relationship would be conservative! It becomes a relationship of
upkeep than a relationship of progressive experience! However with the appreciation
of diversity by means of freedom, advancement and progression is the expected in a
relationship. Diversity always leaves a room to learn and anticipate something from
another entity.

It should now be simple to appreciate the importance of diversity. It is the gateway to


advancement and progression in relationships only if it is appreciated. Appreciation in
this context does not mean just sucking in everything for the big picture of life. Abso-
lutely not! The key thing is to appreciate everything there is to offer on planet Earth
especially people. Appreciate everything in the sense of contentment that this is life.
Relate by acknowledging the existence and occurrence of variety. It does not mean
you admire or adore everything on offer. Obviously what is not held by your standards
is not what you would value. It’s ignorance not to acknowledge the existence of a re-
ality on the basis that you do not like it. All that you know about life is all there is to
life and more precisely to your life!

It is non-productive to just point out something wrong and doing nothing about it.
Diversity is comparative. So if you do not adjure to what you observe or experience,
offer the other side of diversity. Do not ever judge because that is someone else’s
standard. Just know that their variety is not what diversity should be according to
you and then appropriately offer what you know has to be. Truth always stands out
and sometimes you do not need to say it but just be it. Just hold your quality in its
spontaneous sense. People can read between the lines, they might appear or even act
unfazed but truth always finds a way to reach a heart.

Be yourself and the best you can be and you may be deemed arrogant and stubborn.
If someone points out their opinion, do not be quick to dismiss. Consider and com-
pare their resplendency and beliefs to yours then act out accordingly because your
diversity may be wrong! This whole thing about appreciating diversity goes down to
the drain of what your standard is and what you are basing it upon.

The summation of the story is that diversity exists to make living a joy and full of ex-
pectancy. Diversity works a greater cause of experience and inter-dependability and
34
fusion of quality. Occurrence and experience of variety cannot be maximized if there
is no organization for effectiveness.

Therefore appreciate diversity and relate by giving the best that you are! Be a giver
but hold a capacity to receive other radiances of diversity so that you do not become
conceited. Do not be apologetic to display yourself but leave room for corrections to
be your best!

Be diverse and also embrace diversity

35
36
5
Lessons in experiences.

How we get to picture words into our imagination is totally dependent upon what
we have stored in our memory through a process of imprinting. Imprinting as such as
writing on a paper is an active process that involves many processes that interplay to
bring out a memory.

Life is a progressive phenomenon. It is not a thing that you can classify and compart-
mentalize. You cannot separate the good and bad days apart for existence is a contin-
uous flow. If you take anything out, what remains will just be a shadow of a real exis-
tent phenomenon. That is the closeness of lessons and experiences are; so intertwined
together. The only thin blue line that exists in life is the one that cannot be separated;
lessons are always found in experiences. You cannot have lessons without experiences
but you can have experiences without lessons.

Lessons and experiences are arguably the most dreaded combination of words by
humanity, especially by students. When you come to consider however, life is indeed
all about the latter words. It is what you have come to attain in what you know. You
are relating now based upon the confines of the field of experience that has become
memory. There is obviously room for new doors but the reality in humanity is having
37
the tendency to seek to operate and function in what is familiar. Change at any level
is uncomfortable but a necessity for growth.

A Lesson is something that is new and that which you pick up from an eventful
process. Experience is to collect all the lessons picked up and putting them to
memory and exploiting them to serve as an umpire to the adventure of life.

It is easy to brush off what lessons and experiences confirm but it’s important to first
understand that there is no elevation without a pass in current stage. If you have not
learnt the lesson about fire, if you have not learnt the lesson about hunger, then you
still need to understand life. You are what you are today because of the lessons in ex-
periences that you have kept and used! So what is the big deal? The deal is “How far
and wide is your education?”

Education is a word that has been diluted to define uptake of information in a setup of
somehow four walls even though it has a broader meaning than that. Education is in a
wide context that which you gain in a certain portion of specificity! So “How educated
are you about life?” This is not a question to confirm your IQ but is definitely a ques-
tion that can let us know if you are a wiseacre or not. Any answer that comes from an
individual is only true in its purest sense because the recipient is willing to choose to
be generous to attaching truthfulness to it. Think seriously about it for a moment. We
believe whatever we believe because we have chosen to. In a case where the truth has
to be analyzed for an audience, memory would be the best asset to consider. Memory
is probably the greatest of all the necessities in life. It is one of those intangible yet so
overworked but overlooked entities about our living. Consider this:-

You call some people your parents based upon that their memory has it in

them that they are parents
You are in a relationship with a boy/girlfriend because they do not forget that

they are
You go to work/school totally on the leaning that your boss/schoolmates re-

member that you are part of them
You go into an exam totally on the memory of your studying

You give away presents on people’s birthdays because your memory has it

stored
You deal or relate with someone based upon memory

You do not sit on a plate stove because of the memory you have of it

38
There is just a lot to our memory that could be written about. There are enough
disciplines that invest invaluable time, research and resources to be able to master
this field. If we remove memory our brains, we put the whole world in chaos.

Have you ever thought of the bad memories that are existent and what would be
the possible outcome of current state of affairs if there was a sudden complete
memory erase? How would the Japanese affected by the nuclear bombing relate to
the USA, forgetting Nagasaki and Hiroshima? How would the Tutsis and Hutus re-
late? How would the Zimbabweans view the British? What about the hydrophobic
fears that can be removed forgetting 1912 Titanic tragedy? What about the terrible
memories in your life that will never haunt you?

Memory is like the center gate of the summary of who we are. All that has been, all
that made what has been and a hint of what could be. Your memory is not some-
thing that will just grow. You feed your memory in different categories though;
whether by information or experiences. Informational memory is all that you have
read, heard, observed and captured through being fed data from outside sources.
Memory from experiences is all that you hear, observe, relate and accumulate as a
result of your existence and active interaction.

The chief thing is that experience is the best imprinter of our memory. This is a
profound statement to grasp because it places importance between information
and experiences. Strictly speaking, it is what you have gone through that helps you
out. Going through something is not enough however because it is useless if you
do not master what you go through. This is because although you might have gone
through it, when it comes again, if it does, you will fail.

There is a sequence that is basic to follow which is:


Experience > Learn > Memory > Remember.

All remembrance entirely leans to what is stored in our memory. Therefore you
might have something in memory but it is the ability to remember that advances
you! You might be asking, what is the fuss all about detailing the latter sequence?
The fuss is that what is important is the lesson that is held in your experiences.

39
Experiences are important simply because this is all in life you get to share to
enhance relationships. Experiences when shared are the energy for relationships,
period!

Potential energy is stored up as you make experiences and when you share your
story, basically you are releasing energy. Relationships are a measure of the
dispensation of information. This means that to know the level of maturity or
rather the intimacy of a relationship, listen to the conversation! The conversations
output really connote intimacy, relation, adjustment, adaptability, security and
to the very least all the indications of the stage of a relationship. Experiences are
not just there for lessons but you need them for relationships! If you do not have
nothing to share and if you do not know nothing then that is a predicament!

Our first impression of a person is really our endeavor to calculate what they have
experienced and precisely what they can offer to us. Needless to state, as much
as we subconsciously judge each other on first impression basis, this is a shal-
low way of assessment of someone. The sure way of assessment of anyone is by
knowing them and that means taking time to receive what they have to share.am
we concurrently sum up what they have gone through and using our memory we
can try to assess how old they are.

As an individual, you have had to go through some experiences. To be called a


person, rightly, you must have something with you. All experiences are not good
some are bad, sad and some horrible. The key however is to turn every experi-
ence and extract a lesson from it. There is always something good about every-
thing you experience. For the most part in my assertion, i have been noting those
experiences in the past, those that you can do nothing about. However, you can
be cautious to ensure that you go through worthwhile experiences to have a
sound base of lessons. Although life is unpredictable, you can make yours better
by leaning on the lessons learnt in past experiences. You memory is your back
up for success. It aids you to overcome and cut time on some experiences that
lie ahead simply because you have had them before. It is invaluable to train your
memory in all its aspects, always keeping it prepared for decisions you have to
make. Memory is the space that permits unrealized possibilities to be played for
you to be confident when going through the journey of your life.

It is clear that it is what you remember about something/someone that has profit
for you. This is the reason why there are important dates attached to every per-
son. You might say that I do not have one but your birthday is definitely some-
thing to put into memory. In memory there are other areas where what is stored
is not for help in application but simply playback and cherish. Cherish what is
40
yours; the best way to adore someone is playback what you admire about them.
In all essence, people should remember the lessons in experiences they have met.
It is non-productive to go through something and learn nothing. The thing about
a lesson is that it does not have to be so definitive but simply something that you
can appreciate as worthwhile to be of aid.

I remember a case where I had won something as a prize. This prize however was
not something that could be of use to me in any way, the best I could do with it
was to give someone. I knew this but it was very painful for me to give it away. I
then talked to someone about it and i will never forget what they said: - ‘When
it hurts that is when you give’. This was truly a lesson in the experience I had
gone through. Always do yourself a milestone by looking for a lesson even in an
experience that might hurt you. Lessons always exist but they need macroscopic
hearts to acquire. Always look at the other side of whatever experience you find
yourself in. When you locate your lesson, attach it to memory and then always
remember it and apply it when needful. Life is short and progressive. This means
some things you will never go sit down with a teacher to teach you. Although this
is true another truth also is that you definitely need all the lessons you can get.

Appreciate deeply that whatever you go through is relevant and connected to


you. Therefore never brush off where you are, instead look and search where you
are to help you where you desire to be! When you acquire anything, dispense it in
relationship! Experience, Learn, Put to Memory and Remember to Apply!

41
42
6
Events and processes!

In all simplicity life seems to be so defined and carefully distinguished in profound


compartments which separate reality, subtle in occurring but visible in the eye of the
critical. This is however not the case, the appearance for simplicity overshadows the
real complexity that lies underneath. Everything that you are taught about or informed
about in this life is not new; the cosmos has no secrets just mysteries that we get to
find out, since they would have taken us time to uncover them. Systematic occurrenc-
es happen every second but known or unknown ignorance delays our discovery pro-
gression. Therefore what is new and a shock is only to you and your world. It does not
become a reality when you come to know it! The sad outcome is that you can dwell in
this world so out of touch of reality that you become an idiot though nobody will tell
you are one!

Events and processes outline the simple pattern of life’s occurrences!


An event is an outcome or the product of a series of plans of a course of action which
we refer to as a process. The sequence in life always follows the pattern of a process

43
then event; a process always has to precede an event. Even though this is clear cut and
so defined, we people, the center of everything on Earth, might not be defined on this.
Do not expect to be at a certain destination if you do not know and are ignorant of
where you stand. It is like having GPS telling you your desired destination and the
necessary definitions but tell nothing about your location! You would not know how
to go where you need!

Life is a process filled up with events! Everyday life is an experience that never com-
pares in any degree to yesterday or meets the expectation of tomorrow. Today is to-
day. The clock ticks away every bit of its offer and ticks closer to a certain next today.
People have been designed to experience time in all its different stages. The truth
however is that we experience time at most without fully grasping the very second
that we would be experiencing. Every second is a build up to an oncoming experience,
the build up to the oncoming experience is in itself another experience. Time is the
medium of experience! Time and processes will never halt simply because life will nev-
er wait either. Life is inevitable and is definitely a progressive phenomenon. Life is not
a choice that anyone can master but how you live it is the choice you can master. Ev-
ery choice is a decision made solely by one living a life! The choice you have to make
about living life is which part of it are you going to be most concerned about, is it the
events or the processes?

To clearly define an event with clarity in relational terms can prove tricky because life
is a series that should not be segregated into compartments. An event is that which
has a point of reference and holds significance to an individual. This definition defines
it as a past tense. In future tense an event is that which requires energy and time and
significance to hold a reference in our memory! With this it is evident also that an
event is called one, depending upon the one who wants to call it that! Anything occur-
ring on planet Earth is affected by time in terms of its dispensation! An event however
seems to halt time and becomes the thief of time. This is why any event has got to
have a vivid memory, by vivid i do not mean clear cut and so defined in picture color
etc. vivid in terms of details and the overview of what transpired. A process is what lies
between two events. Processes are inevitable and subtle or rather insignificant in their
nature. Any process lies in the façade of time and just as people do not consider time
adequately likewise processes!

Humanity works and functions at the core of processes to achieve events. Every sec-
ond has to be milked to allow events to appear. Whatever and however people live,
what remains and what will always be there are the processes. The major difference
between the two is the fine line of time and effort used! So what then is the issue? The
issue is where do you give the quality of your time and effort in life; the events or the
processes? Does it matter anyway? Life is a journey driven by the engine of our hearts!
Life is a wheel that has to rotate round on a road! In the journey of life traveling in the
44
road, it is not all the time that you encounter a high in the road i.e. a hump but still the
wheel has to move! Living will never be complicated but it is totally how you respond
to it that makes it that way! Are you willing to give your time and energy to something
that sucks the life out of you? Today is what everyone else has so make the most of it.

It is easy to focus on tomorrow at the expense of today. Setting aside time or rather
taking away time and posting it for tomorrow, ignoring the process of today to plan
for tomorrow’s event. Or maybe you would rather neglect the desired events of to-
morrow and focusing in today? Balance is the key to life; remember life will never stop
for today just as long as time will never stop either. This means one thing is settled,
processes will always occur. For as long as you are gifted with today, you do not have
to worry about am i going to run out of air to inhale and exhale. You do not have to
worry about tomorrow or about the day after. Your concern should be where you are
today. By natural design, eyes were not put at the back of our heads; we were not de-
signed to walk backwards. When we stand we halt at the perimeter we are, our head
forward but we don’t get to visualize our backs! The most valuable consideration how-
ever is ‘are we standing on solid ground’?

Where we stand is where we are, where we look is where we want to go, where
we cannot see at the back of our heads is where we left!

To get to B, walking is the prerequisite. This is the process of life; it is stupid to stand
at A and climb rocks, find ladders so that we really get to scope out B rather walk and
at the same time try to locate B!

Events in and about life are memorable but not all are enjoyable! They release a burst
of energy and are like energy drinks for our souls. A car has to go to the service station
so that it gets enough fuel to move around. It does not park and rest at the service
station! Events should not be the preoccupation of the day, the preoccupation of to-
day should be NOTHING! Just live today the way you have to live it and walk in the
desired end! As long as you head is straightforward, live today the best way you can!

Boredom is a product of monotony resultantly having every second and minute of the
day going routinely with the same map. People were designed to experience the best
but life will NEVER always offer the best! When someone goes out today, overlook-
ing it in the expectancy of tomorrow, boredom will definitely creep in. The remedy to
boredom is experiencing today and doing something different! It is easy to think that
today has got nothing to offer or ‘today is just boring!’ The reason why we find our-
selves at this juncture is because our minds always tend to compare and make an ideal
of what today should be. This is only because we are focused on the desired event of
45
today and we disregard today, the process for the oncoming event! There is always
something about today to embrace! Live in the reality of life i.e. the processes and as
you live right today, events that are probable will arrive because you lived today right!
Embrace your life today!

46
7
Seasons.

The consummation of existence of anything marks also the beginning of the mark-
ing in caution of its end. Whenever anything starts, it starts the marking of when that
thing comes to an end; it’s the cycle of life. A sense of containment is created when
you appreciate something. In the midst of progression, familiarity becomes so distinct
to aid recognition, recognition of important moments that have the force to alter our
courses.

Phases like stages occur more like opportunities.


Seasons are de-ja-vu periods in the experience of this our incessant time! Familiarity
is the comfort of an expectant heart. In waiting, everything necessary is prepared to
exploit the oncoming moment. Comparison and lessons learnt employ betterment at
the tackle of the same problem. This is good when the problem is recurrent! Seasons
come also in the progression of life only at times to define with no regard to famil-
iarity! This is the part where our lives are made firm, where we are entangled with the
moment. Reference can always be made to the start but it is not always the time that
becomes our focus. If you are going through a motion especially a tough one, the
clock fades away. Like moving fast into space, time loses its brain. It becomes obso-

47
lete, irrelevant to its mechanism that to our consideration we are locked up on the
product of the season. Humanity and everything created was made to be affected by
time and with this there is no choice.

Newton with his 3rd Law of Motion, described cycles and progression fittingly! Af-
fected by time we also can affect time itself! Laws have to work as long as conditions
remain constant! The condition of a season is the constancy and consistency of time.
This is obvious, so meaning employment of laws will always occur in terms of seasons
for as long as time goes. Above everything in life, understanding is simply important!

Two types of seasons exist although their presence is not always something that be-
comes apparently clear and convincing. There is a season that is expected and a sea-
son that is unexpected. The greatest question though is do you know that you are
in a season and precisely which type? People exist in the realm of the atmosphere,
a compartment that we call our environment. Every product that is made is done so
suitable for the space in which it is going to function optimally. Earth was designed
for the maximum interest of the human being! Understanding is an interactive word
and thus to exploit our environment there has to be interaction. Through interaction
we understand the effects of time on planet Earth in creating seasons for planting in
expectancy of a harvest. Just as time affects the Earth in seasons so does time affect
us also in seasons. Seasons are predicated for growth. This is the ultimatum for their
design; they have no other agenda. Whether expected or unexpected, the time span
of a season will definitely serve its purpose: growth!

Growth is invisible but discipline is visible. The vital pertains of life are cosmic, intan-
gible yet so invaluable. It is cheap to place uttermost value to that which is tangible
for that which is tangible is destructible. A season is a period of discipline, only that
its exertion on you is totally independent of you. Every season that you find yourself
in consider it as a discipline that is working growth. Remember that growth is not ac-
cidental it is always intentional. To grow, a person has to note that they have to. It is
paramount and i cannot put it clearly how much, being able to realize that you are in
a season. Any season is like a ready uterus for implantation that will in the long run
give birth. It is like an incubation period.

An expected season is one that will always come your way and has to do so
regularly. An unexpected one is that which comes without announcement but
you come to realize that it has come when it does.

It is worth to clarify that every season is designed for growth but there is no automatic
guarantee that growth will be the outcome. Every season offers growth but you have
48
to intend to grow; this is what is meant with the adage “seizing opportunities as they
come”. Opportunities are contained in seasons, this makes discerning which season
you are in become imperative. Discipline is the prerequisite of growth. Growth can be
calculated desired growth, where you allow the season to develop a certain part of
you. It also can just be growth, meaning elevation from the previous standpoint. An
expected season will give or provide inevitable growth if coupled with discipline. An
expected season will always produce growth but it is not inevitable only intentional.

To affect time something called patience has to be employed, this is simply allowing a
season to take its course without fighting its progression. Each person undergoes sea-
sons to allow growth to take place. A reason why people will never ever be the same is
because seasons are interpreted differently. Every human being is faced with expected
seasons. This means growth is inevitable. Inevitable in the sense that everyone is of-
fered the same grace to have the chance to grow! How you translate it is now some-
thing dependent on you! A difference arises when some people take hold firmly of a
season and maximize to gain the most out of it and some do not. Every human has
24 hours a day which means every human has the capacity to grow. The latter is true
disregarding disabilities or abnormalities in the body system. An expected season will
undoubtedly offer a chance of elevation and there is no need trying to locate it. The
highlight of an expected season is that the system of growth is clearly defined. Param-
eters exist endorsed by the design of the season to maximize the chance of growth.
Since the system is defined it therefore aids in simplifying your desired required input
e.g. it is easy to make a cup of coffee when you know where the coffee, sugar, water
and milk are! It’s another case when you do not know where the ingredients are kept,
let alone what they are! An expected season gives you the enablement to gauge and
prepare yourself, not only in the season but also before it. Expected seasons are the
events of life! They are different from the processes of life although in the big picture
they constitute the progression of life. An expected season as it is gives birth to expec-
tancy. It’s important to note also that failure can be an expectation if there is inappro-
priate working of the system. Therefore expected seasons are those that really strike
our memory and to create a life full of memories, you have to work especially these
expected seasons. Therefore the mark of success in life is; how you have managed and
handled the expected out of you!

The sensible next consideration is then, who sets the expected in the expected? To
clarify and put simplicity in motion, the latter above has to be answered with “what is
the expected out of you before you do the expected in the expected?” Expectations
are entirely dependent upon what someone considers. Therefore it would be partial
and containing to state the expected out of an individual. The other aspect is that ex-
pectations have to be in line with the desired destination of an individual and needless
to say, destinations are different. However despite this immutable fact, there are gen-
eral expectations to every individual regardless of the differences of propelling back-
grounds. The chief expectation or rather the reason that is ultimatum for expectations

49
out of an individual is to attain independence!

Seasons allow growth to reach a place of maturity, which is appreciable. Indepen-


dence does not entail segregation of relationships simply because the word depen-
dence still exists in independence. Therefore every individual, without being limiting
and myopic and condemning has to reach a certain stage of independence. It is that
place of having the ability to handle responsibility and having to fend for yourself as
a consequent of having the capacity to make life sustaining decisions. Independence
means you are freelance exclusively but inclusive of another entity. So in seasons re-
gardless of whether it is an expected or unexpected seasons, good expectations are
still the desires of the individual. You cannot expect what you do not know especially
if you are not in the position to ground your basis. Therefore a true expectation comes
from recognizing the season that you are in whether it is expected or unexpected.

Life is never so defined; it never is predictable as it ought to be, to allow easiness.


Seasons however seem so defined and calculable to allow humans to “revenge” for
the times when they cannot predict life itself. It is all in how you choose to appreci-
ate something. The environment of the season works co-dependently to ensure the
growth offer of the season. In every season people will always exist, besides growth is
not any if you cannot match it up. Emphatically any period of time is clad with people.
Seasons will come and go but what will always stay are the memories made, either
pleasant or awful. The link is that memories are made with people chiefly. This means
the key is in how you associate with the people in your world in a specific season.

It is ideal that every person that comes in to your life you be able to discern their
purpose. This is not easy though because time has the justified tendency to un-
ravel truths later on when they seem to have delayed.

In spite of that, you have to rightly discern the season you are in. Growth is the desired
fruit in the womb of a season but relationships are the labor pains that bring it out.
Therefore seasons will always deliver something to you packaged as growth. Growth
will come as you relate chiefly to people but also to mechanisms that prosper the de-
sired growth. It takes discipline to be able to relate maximally to produce the output
of a season. The wisdom then is to always attach to the environment in a season but
when it passes detach! This means that ties and codes have to come to a place where
they are revised. Never cut ties for good rather loosen the tie that exists to create a
gap so as to insert another thus elongating it or just releasing a tie that was knit. In
other words, do not totally cut out people from your life rather decrease the intensity
of association when a new season beckons. Never burn bridges, remember we are
fundamentally of the human species, which means no one will ever be useless to you.

50
Every season births out a common ground in commonplace. The confines of a season
tie you to the environment of that period but when a shift occurs, take time to revise
the knits in the rope of your relations. People you will meet and associate with make
an impact in the way you picture life. It is probably because life and living is interac-
tive, so the only way you get to understand life is when you engage in what it really
all centers upon, people!

People are in every area and every space suitable to be an occupied arena, this on
its own is enough to solidify that life is all about people. People are only known by
interaction either directly or indirectly. Inevitably this clarifies that every season has
to release people to your exposure. Exposure is the appreciation of diversity but also
not everything is beneficial. Everything is allowed but not all is expedient. Reality deals
with people on a realistic level but the other flipside of reality is the idealistic level
people operate on or rather should. Not all you are exposed to has the right package
of growth for you. A season lasts for a time but growth outlasts time and is the plas-
tic deformation of it in Physics terms. Any season lasts a certain antiquity, this means
also that opportunities lasts for a certain time. The growth in a season comes from the
womb in its predication but people are able to affect the labor pains that bring out
that growth.

Association therefore is the key in a season. It is like the amplification or the damping
of the vibration of growth. I believe firmly everything in life is grounded in people it
can be directly or indirectly. People are the center of living and everything revolves
around people. In clarity i suppose that all is connected to human beings i.e. either in
dispensation or relativity. Anything on this planet Earth that has no connection with
the center, people, is definitely a waste. Also to say a reason why the world never stays
the same is because people continue to make everything relevant to people.

If people are the center of the universe, it must mean that people do center on some-
thing greater than themselves. In understanding people you will get to grasp the big-
ger entity that makes us all great. That takes a conscious decision to want to realize
what this grandness that makes humans tick really is. For now it will suffice to desire
an appreciation that seasons are important!

51
52
8
How to relate!

Any mechanism, design and creation have a certain set of inherent principles that are
indelible and paramount to its existence. It serves as the nature of the mechanic, de-
signer and creator to output what is in him for the good of those who decide to adapt
what is his.
You cannot produce anything without defined avenues to sustain what you have pro-
duced. This is the language that everyone understands either consciously or uncon-
sciously. Pardon the bluntness; you do not need to teach a human how to have sex,
you might need to help alter complications but the know-how is already inherent. This
might come as a paradox then if you are following what I’m highlighting, you might
then say, what then is the need to know how to relate in line with the original printout
in how we ought to relate? This day in age a relationship is based on how right it is in
an individual’s eyes although this is not how it how it ought to be. I must remind that
HUMANS DID NOT CREATE THEMSELVES and THE EARTH THEY INHABIT!

To flip your perspective, everything that is wrong in the Earth is because of selfishness!
There therefore exists a set way in how humans ought to relate not based on human
wits or creation but on the one who designed relationships. This chapter exists to reit-
erate what has been clarified throughout the book, define it and clarify how to relate!

53
We understand that by switching on the plug, electricity is transmitted on but how
electricity really moves and what it is essentially you cannot comprehend by a glance.
If we are to liken relationships to electricity, this chapter would be the one to describe
how exactly that electricity moves through the wires. I seek to lay down the principles
that make any relationship work. It is invaluable to mention that the principles laid
down for relationships are not concocted by man but are those picked from the pag-
es of the Creator. But what is the big fuss in getting the Creator’s principles? Simply
because He designed it and the designed is not above the designer.

Before defining principles it is inherent and apparent to picture this whole design in
its proper context. To reiterate, relationships exists because people are all about needs
and to meet these needs, exchanges have to occur. These changes are then placed in
what is a relationship! Needs are specific and are never general. What you lack is you
need, the reason there should be clear emphasis what you get to define as a need.
A background prescribes a certain approval that puts out the reason why something
exists and relationships exist because people exist.

So relationships have a set way in how they ought to run. Remember they may run
any other way but consequences always follow. For the right consequences that are
indisputable, 3 principles must exist and synergize relationship-ing. This then is how
to relate:

1) DEFINITION:
Definition is a WHO question!
It is a principle that divides differences to point out similarities. It eradicates simply
any complexities that clog up any holding that ought to exist. It is primarily a unitary
requirement but then it has to be communicated to be mutual. Like a plumb line it
segregates any impurities that always surround anything pure. It then is the founda-
tion of any relationship, like the hinge on which relationships can occur. One big factor
that is attached to definition is to understand how you define it i.e. the simplest way
of being honest to say who you are.

When you meet someone, the first thing that must happen is for you to say your
name. This is done so that they know who you are! This is simply definition in defin-
ing or rather pointing out the differences and similarities you have to the one you are
telling your name. Definition is the gateway into someone’s need and if facilitated, to
meeting that need. When you have introduced yourself through definition you climb
54
up another bar in assessing the possibility of relationships!

Relationship-ing is the process of building a relationship. Who you are is vitally import-
ant because who you are determines if you can relationship! This is why vulnerability
is a big aspect to a relationship. When reality is not introduced first base everything
that follows is virtual and virtual will always prove to be so. When tested and found
to be false, betrayal becomes the phenomenon! First base definition is personal and
concocts realities of who I’m to me and who i need you to be and also who i need to
be to you.

Definition of a relationship is not confined to knowing someone’s name; that was used
just to drive a point. A name ascribes definition and definition clarifies the need that
is on dispensation and is seeking to be met. So in any degree before any adventure to
relate, define what it is you seek to exchange. Recall that needs are specific and this
entails that capacities have to be there to meet that specific need being pronounced.
Definition is a stance that lets everything about a relationship become apparent. It is
in other words vulnerability; the only difference is that it is a stage, whereas vulnera-
bility is a process throughout Relationship-ing.

Mutuality is all about communication. To simplify, mutuality is the stage where you
can both united say ‘we are in a relationship’. This is the definition in second base.
Definition in second base speaks of agreements made in union between the entities
in the relationship in tally to first definition. In other types of relationships this is when
contracts, certificates and leases of agreements come into play. A definition in second
base is one made in union between the two, first base definition is one made by one
entity in terms of clarifying what they have as a need needing to be met. This is im-
perative because predicaments arise in relationship-ing when definition is only in one
part neglecting the other.

To summarize, before relationship-ing, ensure that you define communicatively who


you are so as to shift to second base definition i.e. who you are in union. Definition
makes everything apparent, it smoothens the working of relationship.

2) MOTIVE:
Motive is a WHY question!
What you do is not as important as why you do that which you do. Motive is the driv-
ing force behind anything that you do. It is also safe to say any relationship is strong
55
to the degree of its motive. Motive in a relationship is largely if not totally personal!
It is not easy defining the motives that people have although if you have the script of
the Designer of relationships in your heart, you can tap into that scrutiny if you allow
the process to be manifested in you! It is amazing that though it is difficult to point it
out, entities in relationship-ing are always on the lookout for motives because motives
in a relationship translate to trust.

Trust is intertwined with motive! Relationships are need based and this is why they
have to be progressive. Emphatically because people represent needs and i believe
with all my heart that the greatest need of people is love. Thus in context of pro-
gression, as an entity, i have to ascertain consciously or subconsciously that when i
relationship with you, you will provide the meeting of that need. The ascertainment
of that fact however is only locked in the inner heart and thus cannot be seen easily!

There are a multitude of things that influence a motive, chief among them is desire. A
desire can fuel a motive. It’s worthwhile to recall that humans do not have the capacity
to create a desire but only possess the mechanism that produces the desire, which
when given attention to an influencing source, various desires to various motives are
birthed. When you define to relate, it is always based upon your motive. A motive is
personal and honestly is truly known by you! Do not be deceived however; motive is
totally prone to scrutiny. This is why relationships break up based upon entities realiz-
ing opposite desires springing up from what they thought they knew. In other words,
why you want to relate will always show and be clear because it will drive you to en-
gage to the mileage you reach in a relationship!

You can only go as far as you have fuel for in terms of the engine for your car and if you
transliterate this, a motive drives a relationship. One other way to check the motive of
an entity in a relationship is to ask them if they WILL and if they DO, WILL THEY GO
ALL THE WAY, concerning where you want to go. In terms of human engagements, it
determines IF THEY ARE INTO YOU! For example if you communicate to go a certain
mile in a particular direction to an entity their enthusiasm or lack of it will symptom a
streak of their motive. It gets you to understand why the other entity proposes to do
what they do.

As much as definition is more of an event, motive is more of a process. This then in-
corporates the phenomenon of spending time with the one you seek to engage with,
understand what time does! When you rub on each other in relating, desires are being
birthed because you are giving attention to each other. When you spend time and you
actually discover through the process that there is another great desire that is spring-
ing up, you become clear.

56
Unequivocally motive is best defined by you but is unmistakably communicable. Be-
fore relationship-ing, accurately sever the motive until you grasp it totally. When you
have grasped it and this is important; when it is in line with what you want the motive
to be based upon your platform (your basis in how you relate), then you can relation-
ship. In this entire process, MOTIVE is the motherboard for a relationship to work. The
clarity in understanding one’s intention to a commitment is of great precedence and
determines how far you can go. So know your motive and for a relationship to last
antiquity let that motive be based in a desire that repels selfishness. After you clarify
your motive, move then cautiously to determine the others’ motive on why they seek
to relationship with you. When this is clear, check it against with where you want to be
based upon your platform (basis on how you relate).

3) ENGAGE:
Engage is a HOW question!
ENGAGING IS THE PRINCIPLE OF RELATIONSHIPING!
It is true the one who knows why is always subject to the one who knows the how. In
other words, you might have DEFINITION and clarified MOTIVE but if you cannot put
all this together in the way they should be then relationship-ing becomes disintegrat-
ed and legalistic! Engaging in a relationship is the top of it all i.e. it concocts every-
thing in How Relationships Ought to Be!

How to relate is centrally locked by this aspect of engaging. Strictly speaking, how to
relate is to understand the mechanism of engaging based upon MOTIVE and DEFINI-
TION.

You can only engage effectively when the two bars of MOTIVE and DEFINITION have
been laid. This is important because if you intend to relationship without proper foun-
dation, it becomes a legalistic relationship. By this i mean you focus on such an aspect
into the way relationships ought to be that you journey through a relationship being
concerned more about how the relationship ought to be instead of the relationships
itself. You begin and continue to major the minor and start looking for hair on a bald
head!

ENGAGE is the principle of relationship-ing! Simply put, engaging speaks of putting


what is existent in to effectual reality. This is what forms a relationship! It is more of
enforcing what lies behind the DEFINITION and MOTIVE! ENGAGING is beautiful in
57
that it is not clear cut, it is not standard per say. The default design of relationships
is reserved on this one so that the uniqueness of each human being could be cele-
brated. It is in engaging that you truly experience the other entity! The highlight of
ENGAGING is that the entities get to paint what the relationship should be like based
entirely upon what they would have laid down i.e. motive and definition! This is why
it is extremely important that when you are in a relationship you do not enter with
an already built up picture of what it should be because you will negate the aspect of
unlocking the uniqueness of the other!

Relationships are all about unlocking what the other is all about and meeting and re-
alizing the needs they have and the other part those needs they might not even know
they have! Subsequently, there is no standard to engaging because this is totally left
to the uniqueness of the entities. DEFINITION and MOTIVE are standards to any re-
lationship but engaging is the unorthodox part that allows entities to trend set their
relationship. This is why in relationships, if you ask what love is, you will always have
different answers. It is because engaging is not standard but totally dependent upon
uniqueness!

Engaging is in its simplest form the exchange and meeting of the needs that pulled
you together. It is identifying that need that exists in the other and based upon the
obligation that rests on you because of the DEFINITION that you let define you; your
MOTIVE will drive you to facilitate it. It is more like how you help someone and how
best you do it. Because we are all different we can never help someone the same way
albeit because a need is specific, it will command a uniform type of help it needs in
clarity. Engaging also speaks of expression of our help to the degree that the other
understands that that is exactly what you are doing.

This is the aspect that really encompasses and deals with the needs that people are all
about! So in engaging, all the obligations are then expected to be shown based upon
defined DEFINITION and clarified MOTIVE! This is then the part where you prove who
you really are and show your part.
How Then Do You Do It?
I cannot say? Why? Because meeting needs is dependent upon uniqueness but mak-
ing sure that the need is met, period! So however you know to engage, get on to it,
to engage is to meet totally the need/s that exists based upon the definition of rela-
tionships and the MOTIVE!

In simplicity How to Relate is designed upon 3 Principles which are MOTIVE, DEFINI-
TION and ENGAGE. DEFINITION and MOTIVE are standard and come as a precedence
to ENGAGE! The mark of a relationship is dependent upon clear motive and defined
58
definition, engaging becomes the principle of relationship-ing! In other words when
you think of relationships, ENGAGE should be the synonymous word!

MOTIVE has to be clarified, DEFINITION then is defined and ENGAGE is worked


out!

No one can tell you how to engage but the centrality should be consistent with the
other two. Your uniqueness is what drives ENGAGING in a relationship. This is why
some are deemed romantic, sweet, charming and thoughtful and others totally not!
People are unique and different, being deemed boring, predictable, old-fashioned
and the other lot is not the bad side of relationships. People have a variety of person-
alities and that is the diversity that brings freedom. What is important however is that
despite your capacity in engaging a relationship, you should be facilitating what re-
lationships are about; meeting needs based upon the expectations produced by your
definition and making sure you are communicating soundly to the other entity and
they see that is what you are doing!

It is important to reiterate the truth that there is no perfect relationship except. Let
this chapter shed light on how you ought to relate! Let not these principles become
so much on your lookout because that will breed legalism and a possibility to want to
perform instead of experiencing the relationship.

Clarify the MOTIVE behind to relate then DEFINE the relationship and ENGAGE the
relationship, this is how to relate!

59
60
9
Relate.

The consistency of constant action produces mastery whereas the diligence of a heart
exudes excellence but it is the engagement of a being to another to cultivate a rela-
tionship.

Any attention that is awarded to any object is always reciprocal in some way. People
have been placed and carved in a fitting puzzle adequately appropriated for inter-
dependency and this interdependency causes vibrations in the cosmos as a result of
amplified collisions between many entities of persons. This is a revelation that we are
truly inter-dependent of each other. This revelation should lead us to examine our-
selves concerning the issues we have concerning living together with other fellow hu-
mans. Until we are honest about our true state concerning embracing our kind we will
deter the progress of our individualities. Honesty serves as the mirror of correction,
as it excavates the hidden realities only we dare to spend time in it. It is the champion
in you to confront what lies deep at the root, disregarding the cover of assumptions!

It is what he knows, what she knows and what i know that makes us different; however
it is what we know that has the significance to ourselves. How then do we bring the
61
common in us from the different of us to the greater of us? The answer is we ought
to RELATE!

Relationship was the brilliant orchestration designed to annihilate the independency


of a human being. It came from Heaven down right to a place desolate and bound
to self. So many at times and often than we should not, our beings always tend to go
in the conceit that we can make it all alone. It is however the stupidity of a person to
try to be the best that they can be exclusive of inclusivity; endeavoring to fly the solo
plane, in fact to fly a plane, it was the cooperation of creation of the Wright Brothers.
Life was designed to function on the proportionality of relation! This is not to say that
your life is totally dependent on the proportionality of your quantity relation. I mean
emphatically that your life is on bound on the basis of the people that have poured in
you. I do not care how deep you think you are or how in tune you see yourself, without
another human being you are only but solitary.

The best state that you can exist in is when you are a giver; this is what life is all about.
Giving is the perpetuity of life displacing the independent-exclusive evil orientation
of selfishness. Everybody is complete in their makeup from the inside out in terms of
the genetic makeup and how they have been designed to be adaptable on this Earth.
However, the engine that drives you is what makes the difference that you are. The
real difference in someone is not how they look but in whom they are. Needless to say,
who you are goes to the root type that you are and that is all the matter of the heart!
I will say it again, life is a journey driven by the engine of your heart! Thus you are
complete in your definition in relation to your heart. Therefore a commonplace is not
even that hard to recognize; distinctly people are only separated by either truth or lie.
Now here is the issue; when you are complete you are either so in truth or lie. A rela-
tionship is totally dependent and i mean totally founded upon your commonplace. By
relationship here in this context I’m stating unequivocally every existing relationship
that exists, not just humanly relationships, I mean everything on this Earth that has to
do with an exchange between any entities whether alike or unlike.

A commonplace is the basis of attraction meaning anything that you have to relate
to, the prerequisite is to have a commonplace. Just to hint, a successful relationship
will only be so because there existed a commonplace already and there was not a
fabrication of one! Whenever you try to create one you are pulling hearts and trying
to mix them. Hearts are pure in their dispensation and will not be compatible when
they are not based in the attraction of commonplace. Therefore if you are complete in
your reality i.e. if your heart is either based upon truth or lie, you need to amplify your
completeness, this is where relation comes in.

Any relationship that you engage in should only be with another somebody with the
62
same reality either in truth or lie! This sounds wrong because then if your reality is
a lie then you will have to amplify it with another lie. Relationships are nothing less
than the clash of commonplace to amplification! A truth will not compact with a lie
and vice versa. This is not to say that there is extinction of this distinction, as a mat-
ter of fact, many relationships are finding no amplification and hence no strength to
sustain themselves because of a mixing of realities! Please remember relationships in
this context is not confined to humanity engagements only but to everything that is
around humanity i.e. nature, flora, fauna and the cosmos at large.

Emphatically every relationship that finds engagement in something has to be based


upon commonplace. Since life is all about giving and that being the best state that a
human being can exist in, giving is the next fundamental in a relationship and is the
basis of a good relationship. Let me summarize:
“Every human being is defined in either truth or lie and this is what separates
people. Life is about giving and the means to facilitate this exchange is the
covenant of a relationship. Relationships are based on the commonplace that
exists between the entities in order to amplify them”.

Relationships are of two types i.e. Heart Level and Exploitative Level.

Heart Level
This is any relationship has to be founded upon commonplace between entities that
desire to change. This commonplace is the catalyst that propels the Law of Attraction.
What a heart level relationship entails is that the purpose of the relationship is unified.
This means the motive is analyzed and compromised to reach sameness between en-
tities. It is a relationship of giving advantage rather than taking. It is solely based upon
the interest of a compromised and established decision of purpose.

This category of relationships encompasses all humanly relationships. A man and a


woman relate for love on the basis of their common ground. You cannot build anything
upon disagreement. The reason that attracted you together is the fact that something
vibrated between your realities. It is true, you might not know your commonplace just
when you meet but know as you engage.

The Law of Attraction of Hearts states that “Like Attract and Unlike Repel” Unlike
Physics, this is why relationships are not a joke and exist intricately. Physics is defined
in that something exists and then an understanding of its existence has to be worked
out. Relationships however have to be worked out to be defined; it actually is the
other way around! The human heart is intricate and not hardcore to be taken lightly.
63
Where hearts are concerned, a lamination has to happen for the best to happen! This
is the reason vulnerability is important in any heart level relationship.

One distinction i also view is that a heart level relationship; there is the involvement
of everything about an entity. This is why break ups can be hurting! It is because you
dispense at your own will without the expectancy of return. Expectancy here defines
your motive although you expect to receive the other’s heart

Commonplace is not enough to rightly architect a good relationship; it simply is the


basis for the Law of Attraction to operate. Mutual Motive is the framework for the
ship to be built upon. Relation through Vulnerability is the avenue that strengthens
the building project of relationship. The highlighted above virtues are the 3 Funda-
mentals of a relationship. If and when the 3 Fundamentals have been attained, it does
not mean the work is done! There then has to be an intentional maintenance through
constant engagement in purpose and drive to grow them to a stable and maturing
progression. I will elaborate on them in the following chapters.

Therefore in the heart level relationship, there has to be commonplace defined by


who you are individually. An attraction then occurs and everything builds up from
there. I feel compelled to reiterate that I’m writing idealistically here and that realisti-
cally it may not be happening. This is not to nullify that the ideal way is unattainable,
it is much so attainable. It all depends upon what reality you are submitted to. Hence
the highlight of a heart level relationship is giving the advantage rather than gaining
advantage.

Exploitative Level
An Exploitative Relationship is one that contradicts the latter. It is based upon gaining
the advantage as opposed to giving it. It’s a relationship where the subconscious log-
ic is that “the other piece of the rope has to lastly end up profiting me”. This type of
relationship is one that can be selfish to the core if not properly handled.

The highlight of this engagement is that indeed both entities are founded on a com-
monplace of benefit, meaning that the other part possesses a dispensation that the
other needs and vice versa. It is more like symbiosis where the relationship is firm but
the basis is not mutual in the overall. It functions on the intangible aspect of “I need
what you have for my progression and you need what i have for your progression”.
Simply put this is a relationship where ‘WE’ is not the priority but ‘I’. Although ‘I’ is
the priority it cannot exist without the existence of ‘WE’. This type of relationship is
what every human being has to have to progress in life in terms of elevation to the

64
next step in your life.

On the opposite of Heart Level Relationship, you only dispense at the will of the oth-
er expecting to gain what they are dispensing. In essence exploitative relationships
encompass business and partnerships. An Exploitative Level relationship is clearer in
terms of money; ”i need your product and you need the value that I can exchange for
it, so we relate exploitatively by exchanging and we both benefit but not mutually”
Therefore exploitative relationships are essential to propagate existence in terms of
survival. What you do not have but need you have to get!

An Exploitative relationship is purely in the context of elevation on another’s part. It


is not wrong because people have to progress and progression is but cooperative
whether admittedly or deniably!

One of the greatest revelations you can grasp about life is that people will always be
there for as long as you are! That being a fact, people are what you have to deal with
in everything you desire! To enjoy the best of people, you have to have the capacity to
understand and define what type of a relationship you are engaged in. This is the only
reason why every relationship needs definition. You have to stand defined in order for
you to know how to relate.

Definition in every arena of life always breeds simplicity. Simplicity births clarity! YOU
WILL NEVER MASTER THIS LIFE ALONE, YOU NEED PEOPLE! Learn to identify the type
of relationships that you hold and define them. Definition is made upon your reality
i.e. either truth or lie! When you know if it is either Heart Level or Exploitative then
engage with the sense of purpose brought about that definition. Allow yourself to be
open in the sense of being reachable to everybody! Vulnerability should only be be
offered on the precedence of trust. Allow yourself to be open to everybody, in that
way your world is not limited. You then hold a greater capacity of potential! Be open
but do not give vulnerability easily!

65
66
10
Relationship-ing.

Understanding is one of the necessary tools in every man’s kit; it is the shortcut to
bypass complexities that inevitably present themselves at the door of humanity. The
world has gotten so advanced in progression that the fundamentals lose meaning to
become cliché; progression is useless if it eradicates the original intent of existence of
an ideology. Any advancement is only so based upon the prerequisite that the previ-
ous is appreciated but has only become inadequate. In as much as things alter, people
cannot do life on their own. Every person needs another.

Relationship-ing is the compromise of hearts based upon need to create the


intangible reality of dependency.

Relating is what every human being has the desire to capacitate. It is the ingredient
that produces confidence and can lead to the birth of pride if it is in the negative. In
other words it is what anyone has to engage in to gain a shoulder. The reason why
relating is important because life is all about relationships! Everything concerning life
67
is perpetuated on the ground of relation. Every imaginable activity of existence, the
nitty-gritty component is at its purest just an ideal if it excludes the circle of shoulders.
If you were so important exclusively I’m sure you would have found yourself alone on
this awe-striking planet Earth! I’m sorry to announce that you are not so important to
be quarantined alone in a vacuum that is relationship less!

Life is all about relationships, that encompasses the major of people and the other
major of everything in your specific environment. Every turn you make, every glance,
every sound is a product of a particular relationship. Everything and emphatically ev-
erything in your dispensation is a call to relationship-ing! I can stretch to say in imag-
ination that every woman, man and everything is in the reach of being a part of you!
Everything at your dispensation or close hand is potential for engagement to occur.
The wisdom of God is the help to choose the necessary and adequate, everything is
permissive but not everything is expedient!

It does not occur or rather it is not intended by the design of the manufacturer that
all that is within your confines you relate to! When you understand the principle of
choosing the right over the good then you will have mastered the key to avoiding
frustration. This only comes i firmly believe not from trial and error but from the ability
packaged as wisdom by a God who gives liberally without faultfinding. The potential
of investment in an asset is at its core time consuming and needless i say time is one
of your most valuable assets. Truth is, what you are before you spend the next min-
ute can never be regained after you spend that minute. The point is, you must hold
the right and not only the good relationships. Any relationship is but time spent on
building a ship to withstand the highs and lows of relation in keeping and growing the
exudation of the need that made that relationship to demand existence.

THE ONLY REASON WHY RELATIONSHIPS EXISTS IS TO MEET NEEDS!

This is the only fundamental there is to the existence of a relationship! The important
is the basic; any fluctuation from a basic is the benefit in progression to luxury from
the original state. Everything about a human being summarizes NEED: needs to live,
breath, dominate, express, communicate, love, understand and be understood. This
is because human beings are complete exclusively but inclusively of its own species.
Needs cannot be fulfilled alone, wants can but needs have to be met or supplied.
Supply is only prerequisite upon demand which has to be met. Needs, have become
socialized to represent something that is demeaning when they are actually the sole
connectors of hearts. Human beings were not created to be NEEDY but definitely cre-
ated to be a species of needs!

68
In the perfect design, a masterpiece yet intangible idea was thought about and it be-
came known to us as a relationship! It is vital to note that relationships were NEVER
meant to be CREATED but simply to be PROPAGATED. The designer created it and
nothing can be recreated after it. By creation, it means He made all things necessary.
Hence relationships after their creation were not meant to be recreated but only to be
propagated because by default design the Creator makes quality and you cannot add
or subtract quality. This is why we should adhere to His printout and not try to make
our own manual to live by.

The latter is why social media and all the other social networks are not in their right
place to be a way to establish a relationship! Do not get me wrong, the Internet
and the facilities on it for communication are not thwarted but they are not the de-
fault-original intent of relationship-ing. The Internet has become an indeterminate
unprecedented development of communication. Rightly so, it is a tool to propagate
relationships (here I confine relationships to humanity engagements only) that have
been affected by geography but have been established offline! The desire to initiate
your own relationship is what alienates the whole design of a relationship. This is
chiefly why in any relationship definition is paramount; definition defines the need
that exists between the entities of that desired relationship. The definition has to be
made only on truth and this means the true need has to be clear between the entities.

Remember that a relationship is built to keep and grow to the meeting of exudation
of needs. Just imagine the outcome of building a ship predicated on the wrong needs
because there was no truth on the first chapter. One caution that is a product of this
is to carefully examine what are needs and wants. Needs are simply what you cannot
propagate life without and Wants are what you think you cannot propagate life with-
out! In all suggestion, LOVE is the greatest need of any human being! You might not
prescribe it as these profound 4 letters but humanity is in search of this intangible
need in its purest purity.

It should be clear that the reason for a relationship is the meeting of needs but the
only way or avenue that a relationship is built is totally rested on desire! That desire
is held in a heart by an entity based upon the clear need to propagate the facility for
it to be met! The desire has to come willingly 100% on the plate of relationship to
facilitate the particular need defined between entities. This means it has to be mutual
i.e. not forced but oozing out willingly. This is why it is futile and dangerous to force a
relationship to work!

Desire is rather a mysterious phenomenon that can be hard to define. A desire is


something that births out an expectation that needs fulfillment. Desire does not have
to be mutual but it primarily is individualistic to the climax that it can influence anoth-
69
er entity. Every desire is a God given ability! The latter statement needs clarification: -

The mechanism of a desire is the gift from the Creator. Desire is a roadway that
allows progression to take place. It is like the latent power that stirs everything
in the compartment of a human being. Needless to mention every human being
is a spirit with a soul living in a body. Henceforth desire is a mechanism set in
place or appropriately encoded in the human complexity to provide a means of
direction!

The mechanism of desire is locked up in the soul i.e. the Mind, Will and Emo-
tions. This truth is vital in helping to truly underpin what we define as our de-
sires. The fundamental aspect is every desire originates in the soul. Originates is
in the context that its mechanism is the soul, however boldly vulnerable to state
that I’m not sure to say that desire originates in the soul in the context of start-
ing there.

The latter frustration is birthed out by comparing the genesis of life from God.
God created man in His own image but life did not begin in them, it did only af-
ter He breathed the breath of life (Genesis 2:7)! To the deeper sense, He provid-
ed the mechanism for life which was and is our bodies but life itself did not start
with the body. Relating to desire, the soul is the mechanism for it but it starts
from another dimension! Psalm 37:4 states ‘Delight in the Lord and He will give
you the desires of your heart’. The key part is delighting; i cannot go deeper into
delight more than just saying delighting in the Lord is basically embracing God
(His Word), focusing and devoting yourself to Him! It is not about God giving
you what your heart desires or wants! This is totally missing what the Psalmist
enlightened! I need to back up here! Remember in the earlier chapters i indi-
cated that God only produces quality and nothing else, but the fact that we are
quality does not mean that we know we are quality! This is the same thing with
our desire. The mechanism of desire i.e. the soul is quality to only propagate its
genetic. You do not have to crank it up to produce a desire. It is somehow like a
mirror, all it can do is reflect! Psalm 37:4 says in essence, embrace and focus on
God and He will produce the desires of your heart! This means and lets us know
that it is not about you getting what you want but it’s about your mechanism of
that desire i.e. the soul producing what comes from an influencing source!

Dr. Creflo A. Dollar once said ‘what you give your attention to will produce your
desire’! So in essence here is the truth in plain after all the consideration: - A
human being does not have the ability to produce a desire but he has only the
capacity to yield to the influence of his mechanism to propagate that desire!
Our mechanisms are prebuilt by default to only produce a desire based upon an
70
influencing to that desire. It is like our souls are converters! Hence delight in the
Lord and he will influence your soul to produce that desire that is from Him but
becomes yours because you are focused on Him!

Realizing a need is a different aspect from having a desire to having that need
met! This is why you may like/love someone but do not feel compelled to act
upon it! The greatest thing about desires then is to understand their influencing
source! This is because when you desire you will to act upon it! It is dangerous
to act upon any and every desire you get. Thus a fundamental arises of defining
those entities that are capable of influencing your desire!

Firstly to influence you must have the power to do so. Power however takes do-
minion; it is more aggressive to take up ownership of every aspect about you. As
a human being probably the greatest power that you have is that of choice! Life
is definitely a journey driven by the engine of your heart but you choose which
roads to drive through depending where you have to go! Life is thus broad-
ly speaking a choice between what you ignore and consider! Contextually, for
power to effect power, power has to be lost to that power! Choice has to be
given to a power so that it affects its power! Jesus in Luke 11:21-22 unravels a
simple truth that helps to shed light in power being given so that another power
has the ability to dominate. Firstly, what dominates you is what influences you!

Secondly, as much as you have the power to grant through your choice, you
have the power too to guard your choice! This is especially helpful to those who
have been kept in bondage to let you know that there is hope to get you out!
You have to understand though that to be free you have to submit to a greater
power.
There are only 2 entities I know having the effect of influencing but their resul-
tant power to dominate is rested upon which you choose based upon your pref-
erence. Remember, preference is the motive behind a choice.

Thirdly, it is important to submit that the only entity that can influence your
soul to desire is but only your spirit! This emphatically means that every desire
you produce or identify to have is spiritual! The fact for this statement is the
basic to that a human is composed of the body, soul and spirit. The body is the
least of this trinity because it is subject to all, the remaining two i.e. soul and
spirit followed by the soul which is subject only to one i.e. spirit and object to
one i.e. body! It is important to let this truth be exposed. This is so because an
entity cannot influence its own entity. All things remaining equal, a unit cannot
control or influence a unit of its kind unless granted something powerful to its

71
species to direct that capacity. This is why human beings are naturally inclined
to act against authority. It is simply because perception limited to the physical
is very ignorant. A rebellious heart is so because it fails to see beyond its species
to the power behind a species. Just as a helper, it is easier to submit to authority
when you recognize that the authority granted is spiritual not physical. It later
relates to the physical because all things originate in the spirit realm! So it is vital
to grasp that a soul does not have the capacity to influence itself because a soul
and a soul operate on the same level.

Fourthly and lastly, the spirit is the greatest of the three i.e. subject to none but
the object of the two i.e. body and soul. Hence clarity should be born to see that
only the spirit is able to influence your soul because that is the only greater en-
tity to it!

Establishing that your spirit influences your soul unravels another dimension of
caution that becomes apparent. Actually it is beyond a caution but a necessity.
The dimension is that your spirit has to be in the right condition for it to be able
to influence right desires. Remember desires produce a way of direction but ev-
ery desire is rested upon your choice! This means that desires have a great deal
about which path you take in life! Where you end up, how you ended up there is
all based upon your desires but another aspect also is if you choose to act upon
them! This points out to a great truth, as much as it is wished to always have the
good and right desires; this is not realistic, simply idealistic! The best you can
goal is that you guard what dominates you!

God says ‘Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life’
the mention that you have to apply diligence is an indication on its own that
it would be a struggle always to keep your spirit in the state that it ultimately
always produces good influences! I believe this is because there are other en-
tities that seek always to influence and they are not all the right ones. Vividly
put, spirits are existent that are in competition to influence your mechanism!
Because of this reality that is why salvation is a need to humanity! Through only
by salvation, a human spirit is recreated to God’s own Spirit. When your spirit is
recreated to that of the Creator, it is now back to its original intent made by Him.

Recall that your spirit is the influencing source to your soul where your desired
mechanism is located. Rightly so when you are influenced by the Spirit of the
Creator to your spirit then you know that your direction and where you are go-
ing is the right place when you choose to act upon it! In essence this is salvation,
when you are saved from a destructive destination since you will be heading in
the wrong direction as a consequence of acting on ungodly desires! Salvation
72
guarantees that you will receive and have the access to right desires and defi-
nitely your destination will be desirable if you choose to act on it!

Salvation is only in the name of Jesus, the son of the Creator. He came 2000
years ago and made it possible through Him dying, that your spirit be recreat-
ed to be able to influence you to desires that are good and right! If you are not
saved, you can be right now! It is a chance to ascertain that you have the right
direction in life, which will not leave you in doom. Not only in this life but for
eternity! Albeit do not forget that desire follows on choice thus salvation is the
guarantee to Godly desires but your choice is the other aspect!

In all simplicity, it should be clarified by now that God is the giver of every desire in
the sense that He gave men the mechanism to facilitate a desire! He is the giver of life
but counterfeits exist i.e. Satan and his cohorts seek to copy what God gave and thus
design his plan to lure you and i to a place far away from our Creator. This is why you
must be able to separate between the GODLY and the SATANLY! As much as there are
a whole lot of dimensions to desire that i simply cannot understand, what lies in print
is what exists in a desert of the same context!

Every relationship is built to predicate a need that has to be defined by entities with
the desire to propagate the meeting of it; this is choice! The other aspect then as
mentioned is to underpin the origin of a desire in it being spiritual. This means that it
is wise to check your desires always as it is an indicator of your spirit! You can get to
understand a person simply by taking notice of their desires. Understanding someone
has to go to the spirit man always because that is the root of a human being. Totally
aware of what this truth can provide, it is also a hint to help one another. This aspect
of desire i have described is just the tip of the iceberg that I have exposed and the rest
submerges underwater.

FOR EVERY NEED OF A RELATIONSHIP, CHECK YOUR DESIRE TO GIVE YOU AN


INDICATION OF WHAT YOUR SPIRIT IS SAYING CONCERNING THE ACCURACY
TO PROPAGATING THAT RELATIONSHIP. OBVIOUSLY YOUR CHOICE WILL DE-
TERMINE WHAT YOU OBEY!

I cannot overemphasize that the latter is essential only if you wish to handle dealings
on Earth God’s way. Checking your desires is a way of allowing you to confirm His
Will. This is only if you are dominated by Him i.e. delighting in Him! So you may not
check your desires, do everything the way you want, get a desire and confirm it but if
you are not dominated by Him you are not in confirmation that it is God taking you
that direction. In other words if God is not your delight do not mind checking if your
73
desires are Godly or not!

Let this come as an encouragement as I pour out hope that you can be at the place
where your direction in life concerning the relationships you propagate is Godly. In
spite of this, i do not discard God’s grace to work in imperfections bringing out per-
fection! Do not forget that life is all about relationships! It is more than possible to
propagate godly relationships i.e. your business, finances, academics, social life, mar-
riage partner in life, only if God is the delight you give attention to. I certainly hope
that this is infiltrating the deeper you to integrate God in every aspect of your life only
if you want what is best for you.

So, as you seek shoulders in the process of relationships, I hope you understand what
lies at stake and how it functions. Grasp that everything is in the dispensation of a re-
lationship but not all is for you and recognize that humans are all about needs! Define
the need at your stake and then remember another entity can meet it. It is amazing
to me that as you engage to meet your need you are reciprocally doing the same to
the other entity. Once you are defined, check your desires as indication to what your
spirit is influencing.

A desire does not have to be mutual but individualistic to the climax that it can influ-
ence the other entity! Be led not by your desires but check what they are entailing.
Time is a factor that encompasses life; you cannot check your desire once and conse-
quently employ your choice. Consider time, the system of God that does not contain
Him! Engage in relationships that are Godly especially People; the mastery of God,
Himself in them! Engage in relationship-ing, because life was never designed to be
lived alone. Engage in relationship-ing!

74
75
76
11
Black or white maybe grey.

In the beginning, the Perfect Creator (perfection His nature and thus His creation) out-
put a perfect environment with perfect people. The people had the original pristine
DNA of relationship-ing and how it ought to be. Adam and Eve had it in them how to
engage in themselves and the right definition was set from the get go as husband and
wife! Then an interruption came along to distort their purity simply by a suggestion
contrary to what they knew!

It is ridiculously simple but immensely profound to note that the reality of existence
as it is today, drifted from perfection just by a suggestion. It was black and white but a
segregation adventured to mix the two to create a mixture and grey was the result. It
is from this standpoint that we have to account that the latter affects us in all arenas.
It has nothing to do with what we humans capacitated but simply that it was made
inherent from our ancestors. Perfection left our systems though we were acquainted
with it before. It is true that the consequence of an action never disappears but also
true that the Creator’s grace abounds the more. Grace as i define it is the ‘Fill up for
our fall out’. You can never truly attain to the appreciation of God without somehow

77
in the process becoming aware of your own shortcomings. Thenceforth you need to
appreciate infinitely God’s grace that permeates every circle and needless to state,
relationships are covered by grace.

Relationships as stated in an earlier chapter are the design of the Creator i.e. the one
and only true God there is. He is perfect i.e. holy and his output is subsequently holy,
His principles are defined black and white. Since humans left perfection through a
suggestion albeit so far the fact that there remains a God void within us, we still know
to some degree an inclination to Him. Thus as we endeavor in our relationships, we
still use His principles; the only difference now is that we distort them simply because
of our inherent fallen nature. We mix black and white producing grey in our relation-
ships!

In an imperfect world, grace always gives way or rather another option to counter the
contrary to God’s nature. God is the God of definitions, meaning that He is all that hu-
manity needs Him to be. On top of that He operates with definition and clarity output-
ting His nature which is the original intent. Human relationships will never be perfect
and that is the simple reason why there is nothing like a perfect relationship conse-
quent of our inherent distorted nature. In essence that is why progression should be
any man’s portion because Jesus died and rose. In this lifetime, you have to mindset
to attain the maximum in Christ for as long as you live though you will never be able
to reach the limit! That is why the chapter on progression is important!

The core of a human relationship is therefore a concoction of what is right and what is
wrong. This blend makes it impossible to experience in totality the original intention
of relationships in perfection. This is what anyone should know but it is important not
just to know but to also keep relationships in their right perspectives. To know that
perfection is unattainable is not being pessimistic but being optimistic in reality. It’s
a freedom that becomes provident and allows grounding in attainability. One reason
why relationships are built in lies, deception, envy, and lust and being driven by jeal-
ousy, greed and fantasies is because of the latter note of disregarding that perfection
is unattainable. When a painted picture of fairytale and perfection is the reality of
someone, disaster is eminent. It subconsciously cranks you to the point where every-
thing has to align to perfection. I feel the need to reiterate that perfection in relation-
ships is unattainable. You will never lie to an entity in a relationship simply to match
perfect when you have grasped you will never change yourself in terms of your given
physical figure. You will not cover your shortcomings when they are your weaknesses,
instead when you grasp that perfection is unattainable, you allow the imperfections to
be the platform for vulnerability.

Perfectionism in itself is a frustration to tally with a standard. There is absolutely


78
nothing wrong with appreciation to perfection but when you adjust to tally with
it then it becomes an obsession. A standard is a trend set to be the mark for a
certain endeavor in life. We definitely need standards for this world to be a bet-
ter place but if it becomes a preoccupation then you put yourself in jeopardy.
You disregard a crucial aspect about living that puts human as work in progress.
What you are now is not what you will be after 5 years even if you did nothing
to that cause. You either upgrade or degrade but either way a change will be in-
evitable. The key is to appreciate the fine marks in life but understand that just
because you are not there yet does not disqualify you to pursue it. Let the stan-
dards of life guide you but not control you in making a frustration out of you.

It is amazing how much of our energy we channel to sustain that which is volatile. The
important is the basic! Do not expect perfection from imperfection but expect perfec-
tion when you place yourself in perfection which is Christ Jesus! Humans lost the abil-
ity to capacitate and propagate perfection in relationships, however those that have
reacquainted themselves to perfection in Christ Jesus can exude gradually but it is a
lifetime process. When you engage in any relationship depending on the definition,
primarily eradicate the expectation of perfection. This action sets you up for real and
intimate relationship! The view of perfection in a relationship is paramount to allow
progression to be facilitated. However the view of perfection being a total reality that
is livable should not be kept as it will become a stumbling block to the relationship.
Perfectionism breeds legalism in relationships which births a wrong focus which de-
rails the primary intent of relationships; to meet needs. To operate a relationship on
the illusion that it is perfect puts unwanted pressure to portray that one is perfect and
that there are no needs to meet.

Death was never the idea of God, for the Father never creates anything with cessation
in mind; He creates for perpetuity, the reason why seasons exist. Any idea that is out-
put as a word or thing has to accomplish something through impact. So for the prop-
agation of meeting needs, in other words to ensure that relationships last forever you
have to put imperfection in view. There has to be a solid grasp firstly of the original in-
tention and how He made it to be but grasp how interruption came and left a cicatrix.

An understanding from a cicatrix can be grasped; a wound bleeds blood and has to
heal with time but the scar will remain! Even though the scar has no effect on the skin
once it has been closed up, it just shows that a distortion once occurred. It is greatly
amplified though if the scar is on the face so that it is quite visible for all to see. The
scar itself if fully closed up has no damage, for the internal tissues would be covered
but the only problem is that it is visible. From the cicatrix, you can gain the profound
words; ‘It is not ok, it is just something i have to deal with’. Here is what iam saying
unequivocally in this chapter: -
Any relationship that you set out to define will never ever be perfect! Why? Be-
79
cause humans left perfection through a suggestion! Hence this realization has
to lead you to ground your expectations in a relationship in reality. This under-
standing will free you to operate on ground zero of relationships i.e. vulner-
ability. The latter seems paradoxical but is the ingredient to let relationships
progress! Why progress? Progress because God in the original intention of rela-
tionships was to design an ideal that lasts antiquity as a platform meeting needs!
How? By allowing seasons of imperfections to be part of the plan although He
did not create it because we humans plunged into it through a suggestion to
disobedience, later to become inherent.

So all in all understand that black and white cannot exist in relationships but grey!
This grey should not motion you to cease to engage in relationships because even in
the midst of it all something greater exists, Grace! Therefore engage in the grace that
is available in relationships supplied by the greatest supplier of all! Grace is available
in relationships, so get hold of it and lose the obstacle of imperfection that exist but
keep it in perspective to see the grace that does exist! It is definitely grey but God
works even in that mixed color only if you let Him!

80
12
Progression.

Over 7 billion people inhabit the splendid Earth; scattered over lands and seas, diver-
sified to affect a diverse experience to its particular people. Assuming that it takes 9
minutes to create a person and everything about it and then maturing it for 9 months
in the biological container of a woman’s womb. That translates that in those 9 minutes
the Creator has the limit to package the vastness of His creativity in its fullness to be
the manifestation of only 1! It definitely is intriguing the uniqueness of a person and
how nothing is completely the same about one person and the next. Even Siamese
twins have a different fingerprint that is how lucrative the Creator is! When pondering
this beautiful truth, where exactly do the same unmistakably different people, miss
the consequent truth that, whatever comes of a union cannot be identical to another?
Consequently no relationship can ever be the same with another!

Our differences exist only so to point us to the similarities we have think about that! I
mean seriously do! The fact that we are different has to shed light on you of the mul-
tifaceted of the one who is behind the differences! The one behind our differences
should make you see the similarities that we hold of the source that can totally clad

81
the extent of so varied a universe! If we were all the same that would entail mitosis,
meaning there would be no differences in us to show the similarities we have. Our
reality then would have been the existence of mere redundant replications of an un-
creative Creator!

We should be grateful however that this is not the case; our Creator is limitless in his
creativity! What am i saying? I’m hoping that you will get the profound simple truth
that: - We were created different and thus we cannot propagate the same rela-
tionships however because we have the similarity of our Creator; the source of
our differences makes it so that we know the same expectations!

In other words I’m saying in any relationship you define and desire to progress, don’t
compare it with another! In the same light, do not try to make the relationship you
hold be like that of another for the simple reason that it will never be! Any relation-
ship consists of entities that are unique and their uniqueness is amplified by the fact
that totally different entities unite to form one identifiable thing. As one thing is being
made identifiable, it is more like a mixture of different unique traits! Therefore the
unique traits that are encapsulated represent differences that are only allotted to one
distinct person on this Earth!

When you relate, do not have a picture of what the relationship is supposed to be like.
Rather with your hammers and chisels carve out the picture of what you can make it to
be! Remember the Creator deals with those things that seem unorthodox. It is revela-
tory to me to underpin that when God calls you or when He is working on something,
it always starts off unorthodox. It does not belong to any system because God is not
into systemic formation but individual transformation! Subsequently though, individ-
uals concoct systems that exist. I alluded to the truth earlier in the pages of this book
that God only makes quality but that does not mean that you know you are quality!
You are quality! Thus any relationship that you engage in can only be as original as
you are! What you are is what you can make it to be. Any relationship is only as strong
as the entities that make it up want it to be! This goes back to the basic footnote
about desires. It is beautiful that with the Creator as the giver of desires, He knows
the desires needed to fuel a fruitful relationship! In all essence every human being has
the capacity to produce a relationship that they see inwardly. Obviously their desire is
based upon where they are founded in, whether truth or lie! Since every human has
this aptitude, do not crave, envy or compare what you have to what you have seen it
to be. No! Rather with what you have, work to be at the stage where relationship-ing
creates for you what it should be based upon who and whose you are!

You can be the best in a relationship that you are supposed to be only if you know
you were created to be you and what comes from you can only be unique to what it
82
should be. Always know that uniqueness is the only requirement, it does not have to
be typified, carve out the picture of the relationship that only you can!

Every cycle in life has got a climax as the destination that is desired to be reached. It is
the craving of attainment or rather the champion in a human to reach a certain stage.
I reckon this might be a reason why drug addicts’ exist; it is not so much as eupho-
ria being diabolic as much as it is a sense of attainment. This should show how the
human complexity is neutral in its function and here precisely how the soul operates
positively or negatively. The only problem with an addict is that it becomes clung to
something perishable.

Progress is definite movement towards attaining a certain goal. Progression in its na-
ture always has to make another dimension apparent after a climax is reached! To put
it plain vividly: the climax of sex i.e. orgasm, is not only to reach sexual pleasure but
to provide a dimension of deeper relationship as the aftermath. It is futile to define
progression without there being a defined aim. You cannot achieve what you have
not defined. Whatever you define and is not a reality at a moment becomes your
hope, needless to state, you cannot be hopeful if you have not defined your hope.
What is the hope of relationship-ing? The why of relationship-ing is to gain a shoulder
because life is all about relationships. Each and every relationship once gained and
defined has to move a certain direction either positive or negative but because every
human being has quality-default the mechanism of direction i.e. the soul and a sense
to attaining something, the positive is the favorable. Elevation is definitely favorable
than descending!

Two questions then become apparent in this light that progression is inevitable and
mostly wished for:

1) Why should progression occur in a relationship?


2) How does progression occur in a relationship?

1) Why should progression occur in a relationship?


Progression always speaks of an intended movement towards a certain place. It would
be appropriately so in that light, to define the ultimate climax that every relationship
should experience. The many faces of relationships however make it limiting to put
on a standard destiny for relationships as there is a diversity of relationships, ranging
from human interactions, ecological interactions, cosmic interactions, spiritual inter-
actions and a combination of all these interactions.

83
A flower is so only when it blooms, when the bright plethora of what was enclosed in
its seed becomes visible as a resplendence of the glory that was intended. The issue
of a design is that it has to come to the point where it resembles its purpose, when
it becomes distinct in its form. The beauty of an object is when it produces subjects
that later have to progress into the object. In other words progression is the mark of
perpetuity.

The art of relationship as a design is to fill a certain void. Every human being is love-
able; it seems untrue simply because we are the objects of the one who made us so it
can be hard to perceive the perspective of a maker. To grasp the reason why progres-
sion should occur in a relationship is ultimately to establish the origin of the relation-
ship as per the definition agreed upon to be reached by the entities involved in that
relationship.

Progression in a relationship is the platform for any inter-dependability to exist through


life. Anything in its babyhood in life is of no benefit to existence. This seems crude but
it is the actual reality to clarify the need for progression. A relationship established
is functional only in the light of progression. At the end of the rope, there should be
something in-between.

Plainly put every relationship has to progress to hold water.


The reason why any relationship exists or has to ideally is to meet needs because
people resemble needs. Needs communicate the basis of exchange of supply
and demand! Supply and demand in relationship-ing describes both entities.
It is amazing how special you may think you are, life has a way of shifting your
seemingly immovable stance. Life works in seed, time and harvest. Progression
is therefore the development necessary in managing these seasons.

Times in the existence of life have the design of weathering and proving how
strong something is. To withstand anything an object has to be stronger. It is
amazing however that the most important things in life are intangible. You can-
not touch a relationship but it shows to exist. How does it show to exist? Only
when what is defined is confirmed by what it should be. This is only possible
through progression!

Progression should occur in a relationship totally dependent on its definition.


When progression is underway it becomes the gateway for what is underground.
It is quite simple essentially, progression makes way for maturity. Maturity of-
84
fers only the best of the picture of what was defined to be. It is like you want a
portrait of a landscape; progression is the painting of that picture!

Relationships must progress so that the best out of you comes out, very simple!
The best out of you is a process that comes through working out as a development.
For the reason that development is a process that is why progression should occur. As
development occurs through progression on a defined platform the best of what you
are supposed to be is being shaped out! The treasure in a box is only exposed when
digging has been happening.

Issues concerning the qualities that have to be dispensed in a relationship de-


pend on the definition of the relationship. These qualities are inconclusive of
trust, honesty, sincerity, commitment, integrity. As you expose yourself in a re-
lationship that you have defined the expected qualities that keep that relation-
ship have to be at your dispensation. If not then that is where progression comes
in, to squeeze that out of you. Thus the best that you can be that you are not is
realized.

The milestone is progression of relationship has to occur to bring the person you are
for the different stages of life. It is pretty awe-striking but simple that life is not built
up into segments. It is a series and it does not take a hold and stops something from
progressing in the expense of the other. Every second is a travel and this is why it is
important to be developed for every scenario you face. Every situation you face is a
new one everyday even though you could be familiar with it because no day is the
same. If you have defined a relationship, expectations arise based upon the definition
that has been set. By the latter i mean as an example you cannot expect a friend to
love you physically simply because.

When expectations arise they have to be filled but the thing with a relationship is that
it has to be mutual. In the first place that is what drove you hopefully to engage in
it (Relationship-ing). This clarifies then that you want the other party to fulfill it but
because you are in it you also have to contribute. The revelation is as you progress in
the progression of that relationship through digging (vulnerability of which I’m going
to explain on) on the defined terms, the person that you ought to be comes out. This
has to put it clear why relationships must suffer progression.

It is however important to note that progression should not be a checklist in a rela-


tionship. It is more like you should not be worried about getting wet when you are
swimming because that is obvious. Always be careful in life to major the major and

85
minor the minor and not vice versa. Why should progression occur in a relationship
becomes an absurd consideration when you are in tune with the expected after the
definition of your relationship. The fundamental aspect here is to remember that ev-
ery human being represent needs (not in the context of needy) that have to be met. To
be met this can only happen through engagement i.e. relationship-ing and ultimately
growth up to the stage where the needs are addressed. Hence growth as a process is
why progression should occur.

The reason why progression should occur in a relationship is because it facilitates


personal growth of an individual for the best in them to be realized, that they may not
even recognize that they have inside.

2) How does progression occur in a relationship?

ZISCO STEEL, the steel producing company in Zimbabwe, works with the abundant
ore metal Iron. Through detailed processes tried, tested and improved over centuries
they are able to produce a refined Iron. The blast furnace is truly a masterpiece that
incubates tremendous temperatures. After all has been done in bringing the pure Iron,
what is amazing is that nothing can be done with Iron in producing desired products
if it cannot be ductile. Being ductile can be transliterated to be vulnerability.

Progression occurs through vulnerability of the entities that make it up. Vulnerability is
a word calling for much expounding in the context of relationships, simply because of
the stereotype it has accumulated. To make Stainless Steel door handles, cutlery and
pipes, the iron has to allow to be bendable and pliable i.e. ductile. This is the same as-
pect in any defined relationship that seeks to produce progression to a certain stage.

Vulnerability speaks of how an entity is open to work out the definition of a relation-
ship; it introduces an aspect of trust that is offered in allowing the relationship to hold.
It compares to the currency that a shareholder pays to see the company succeed. To
the level of your vulnerability is to the level of your progress in a relationship. Vulner-
ability means that you expose yourself to the entity that you are in relationship with.
You become selfless to the aspect of your desire and become mindful of the aspect of
what you have defined your relationship to be. It is important to note that vulnerabil-
ity only applies where there is a response. It is however amazing that in the design of
relationships being selfless is compensated totally by the function of that relationship.

Vulnerability is comparative to the fuel you feed your engine. When it runs out noth-
ing moves in the direction of what you are to build. It speaks of being outright at the
86
expense of the relationship as you desire to see the big picture. In other words, vul-
nerability is only truly possible when you desire the best that you can become more
than the best that you are now. Our inherent nature as humans is that of selfishness
so when you exude unselfishness automatically you begin building for a greater pur-
pose in all the relationships that you hold. This is because your focusing will not be on
yourself but on the collective of relationship for the benefit of the entities. Essentially
vulnerability rips off the selfishness in you!

Whenever you picture something greater than the greater you are now and work
towards removing that greater you are, selfishness is diminishing. As much as it is
still settling in, a vague understanding of why break ups, betrayal and lies are pain-
ing should become vivid. It is simply that you were paying on your own whilst you
thought the other/s were paying too to progress to the desired product in this case
the defined relationship.

Vulnerability, however, should not be solitary but mutual. You cannot build a hole on
your own if two people are going to use it. For what has been defined to be reached
both have to contribute. Vulnerability is in evitable and no matter how hard you will
try to build a relationship at the go of only one person you will soon come to a halt.
Vulnerability is coming to a point of realizing that what really matters is we neglect-
ing the aspect of me. As much as this is an invaluable ingredient for a relationship to
progress, it also becomes clear its abuse in many instances.

The ally of vulnerability is trust. Trust is emphatically a gift given to a partner simply
because you would have seen how much that person gives to the ‘we’ aspect. It is true,
trust is earned! When you trust someone you see predictably how their every action is
motivated by the definition you have set for that relationship. I cannot stress how vul-
nerability is essential but simply hope that it becomes evident. Obviously a question
that arises is how do i become vulnerable and how do i know if the other party is do-
ing the same? It is simple, to be vulnerable don’t hold back on relating; have nothing
to hold back to the other.

To check vulnerability, search if there is anything being kept back. Obviously you do
not get to know everything about someone all at once; the key thing should be will-
ingness to be open. It is imperative to say that vulnerability is not instant but gradual.
It goes by progression as you become clearer with how someone is laminating their
heart with the definition the relationship, which should be their motive.

Be vulnerable to progress!

87
88
13
The invaluable relationship!

Albert Einstein, the great Jewish physicists, once said “A life lived for yourself is
worth nothing”.

This speaks of impact.

Impact is the noise that a life lived for others makes, leaving an echo called Legacy
vibrating for generations! Impact is when you can empty all of you and give it away.
It can be likened to the scenario when you spill water from a jar onto the ground; the
splatter that is produced is the impact.

Your life and mine is worth something depending on the noise that it produces. Do not
get me wrong, your path is not based upon what you do but upon the one who made
you. Your Creator is the one who made you, adequately assessing what you needed to
be adaptable to an environment of people. The Earth exists because it has to take care
of a species called people, think about it. In His orchestration, God made perpetuity
the mark of humans being equipped with that which makes Him enjoy interaction and
fellowship with the objects of who He is. He is a giver and He had to create us so that
89
we receive what He is. He made you and that person that you relationship with.

The 3 Principles of Relationship-ing only exist because there is an object for that to
happen. What am i saying? You can never relationship with an entity that was created
without knowing the Creator. People belong to God so to understand them and to
be able to relate to them in the right manner, you have to know Him! This book is all
about striving to lead you to the one who made you. Through the ones He made you
can relate to Him. The reason why you should know him is simple; He made you and
for you to know and experience the best He intended for you to live, you have to be
in connection with Him.

As you engage in relationships with people, you are led to engage with Him. Only
those people that are in connection with Him can relate with you in the way the He
would. People are the master’s piece of the Master! You cannot give credit to a cre-
ation instead you give it to the Creator because you did not create yourself. As much
as we think we have the right to occupy this Earth, come up with our own logistics to
run it and as much as we come up with our own wits in how to be the best we remain
in deceit. In deceit because if what is ours is not what is His then we are but wasting
our energies dispensing it upon that which is futile.

Here is a nugget of wisdom: Time always ticks and has never been an umpire. It is
faithful; till it will be rendered obsolete by eternity. Since it won’t be an umpire
to judge you, inquire from the one who made it about what will happen when it
ceases to operate!

Do not be walloped by the fact that just because you are living the way you please and
relationship-ing on your own terms excluding the Creator’s principles and there seem-
ing like there is no ramification to that, then you are doing ok. Your choices whether
based upon you or the Creator’s will be laid out after time. People are the design of
His and also He designed their function and subsequently their function is facilitated
upon His design of relationships and relationship-ing. If you seek to understand His
ways of doing things then you will understand Him.

The diversity of people exists is to try to illuminate our limited comprehension of how
great a Creator He is. In all the characteristics that He represents Himself in still many
have gone off track and do not have the context of their maker. The latter reality
birthed the premise on which I was inspired to write this book so that you understand
what people are all about, the creation of a Creator who set ways in how to relate with
Him to be satisfied thus you can meet Him. People exists to show God forth and this
is who He is-
90
“He is God who made the world and everything in it. Since He is Lord of Heav-
en and Earth, He does not live in man-made temples, and human hands cannot
serve His needs-for He has no needs. He himself gives life and breath to every-
thing, and He satisfies every” (Acts 17:24-25 NIV)

People are the creation of His; He made every person of whatever type there is white,
back, colored or colorless. As long as you have a body, you are a person and you are
encompassed in the category of His creation. He designed every person to have the
capacity to receive depending upon what he needs. Every person represents a need
because we are all about needs! He made us that way because He is love, not love
based upon man (that He created) but love based upon Him. Love is at its simplest a
giver, it cannot be love when it cannot give! In order to be consistent in who He is, He
had to tap in the other side of who He is; a Creator! So He created you and me so that
He would be able to pour out who He is into us and contextualize who He is!

You are not a person if you do not have a need! This innate truth is what when per-
verted drives people to be pretentious wanting to appear as superior above others, as
without any needs. Do not be fooled, nothing on this Earth can be able to cover all of
what you are, needy. The genius of a Creator is not to produce something that is to
be a burden and be frustrated, no! A Creator perpetuates every product and makes
provision to meet any complication that arises. He is a Creator so He thinks like one!
So He had to formulate a way in which the needs that people represent could be han-
dled and that is how the design of a relationship came about to be!

By now it should be clear that He is smarter than you and me. He is not like us al-
though we can be like Him! He cannot be like us because we are lower than Him, He
is God! Since He is not like us, He had to come up with a way to reach us to meet our
needs. He did come up with the way, through the design of relationship! This design
had to cater for the difference in natures concerning creation and Creator and this was
catered for through two avenues: -

1) With Man (Which is what I have been outlining in all the preceding chapters)
2) With Him (Which is the invaluable relationship)

To cater for our Earthly needs he designed the art of relationship-ing! In this avenue
He made sure that he becomes the source to meet all your needs. By letting you rela-
tionship with others like you, He meets your needs through them. This is why it is true
91
that life is all about relationships!

Then there is the need that man cannot supply. This is a need that only your creator
can supply and that is the need of perfect unconditional love. Only God can supply
this need in totality without partiality. It is the trademark in each of His product so
that it is identifiable to Him. No matter how much people can run away from Him,
He created them and they belong to Him! The truth that there exist different ways to
meeting the needs of a person clarifies how incomplete a person can be if they are not
fulfilled in all the ways! Life is a choice and the two things that God will not force on
you are your faith and choice. Just because there is a roadway created and established
by Government of Zimbabwe to take you from Harare to Bulawayo, does not mean
you are obligated and forced to use it!
You can choose not to use it, instead you can fly there or walk or whatever. Just be-
cause the Creator designed relationship-ing with its principles, obviously does not
mean you are forced in to it! Instead because He is the Creator, you should knock
yourself in the reality that you are not better at creating than He is. He created you!

The Creator, God, Him, Designer that we have been mentioning throughout this book
is Jehovah, the one and only true God! He is but one God!

He created us with a lot of needs and hence we are needy and thus He has infinite
definitions because He satisfies every need there is.

 He is the one who loves you, Lover of your soul!


 He is the one who provides for you, Provider!
 He is the one from whom you take your identity, Father!
 He is the one who takes care of you, Comforter!
 He is the one who guides you and corrects you, Counselor!
 He is the one who fights for you, Deliverer!
 He is the one who heals you, Healer!
 He is the one who recompenses you, Recompenser!
 He is the one who owns this Earth and everything in it, Lord!
 He is the one who sustains you, God!

92
There is no need that people have that He cannot meet! Why? Don’t you get it, be-
cause He made you! He loves you! Why make a creation to suffer when you are the
one who made everything for it? Why should you run to another human for what only
God can give?

God is a giver and that is what makes Him God, He is not trying to withhold the defini-
tion that He is. You will never be satisfied in this lifetime if you are not being satisfied
by Him! He made you needy so that your frustration becomes His gateway to let you
know who He is, God! People definitely have a part in the play because God made us
in one globe! As long as you have more than one entity, relationship-ing is inevitable.
To express that He is unlimited, He made us all diverse from each other.

In all His grandness and splendor, one heart could not contain all that He is to express.
Even with the greatest population of Earth that it can reach; still it will not be able to
fully grasp His greatness! One reason why God is for expansion and dominion is so
that every part inclusive of people knows who He is. Nobody is greater than Him, He
is the only there is! The reason He made and makes Himself known is so that every
creation of His gets to realize that He is the one who meets all needs but He will not
force you to accept it.

People are needy and we have been created with the capacity to receive the yearn-
ings of our needs through relationship-ing. However since we are all but needs trying
to meet each other’s needs; we have to be connected to the one who can meet our
needs! You cannot give or rather you cannot meet a need that has not been met in
your life! God is the one who satisfies all our needs, whatever they maybe; He knows
them all because he created those needs so that we are indispensable of each other
and Him. He will never push us to accept Him though to relate on His terms, He is
the perfect gentleman! You can never meet and also have your needs met if it is not
coming from Him! It is like you will never get better from ill-health just because you
are taking medication even if it is not specific for the ailment you are suffering from!
For a specific illness, there is a specific medication. People can only go a certain mile
in relationship-ing to meeting needs.

God satisfies every need, He does not need to go any mile! Hence you need a connec-
tion with people through relationship-ing to meet needs! However you need a con-
nection with God through Jesus Christ to meet your greatest need of unconditional
love. God has no need, true, but He has a need per say that is not material but one to
dispense who He is – Love! We have been made the recipients of that need that He is
but it is our choice to accept it or not.

93
In giving the work is done but in receiving the work is to be done!
Giving is easy in relation to God; receiving is hard and difficult for people. The reason
I t is hard for people to easily receive is probably because we would rather appear like
we have it all together than be honest to state we need help, it makes us appear weak.
Our biggest distraction from receiving what we need is the people around us.
Everyone needs love, it is the fuel for our existence but you have to choose to receive
it. If you do not do the work to receive it, you will continually look for it and in the
wrong places!

I’m not seeking to entice you with a good cake of a story with some sugar candies
on it so that it looks attractive and you fall for it. My endeavor is to show you the fuel
station of love. The work and connection you have to make for yourself is Jesus! Jesus
is the Son of the Creator! He is and was the plan and wisdom of the Creator to recon-
nect you back to Him because humans left perfection through a suggestion by the
one who perverts, Satan!

Our relationship with Him is based upon His ways. Jesus was sacrificed so that we
could get back to the position where we can relationship with Him again because
He is perfect just like the His Father! So it means we can relationship with the Father
based upon the sacrifice of Jesus! So your work and point of connection in all this is
to choose to accept this truth and then start your way in to relationship-ing with the
one with all the definitions!

This is the story of our salvation! My intention was to help you understand from who
we are to who He is! This is the reality of existence! Just because you will not accept
it does not mean it is not true! Relate with people to have your needs met! Do this in
the way highlighted so that you make use of all your energy. Relate with God through
Jesus by choosing to accept Him and living for Him so that your greatest need of
perfect unconditional love is met! Employ the 3 Principles of Relationship-ing of
Definition, Motive and Engage!

If you synchronise this, you will have attained the Invaluable Relationship i.e. a rela-
tionship with God and His people existing to satisfy your every need.
Embrace people, embrace God!
There is a climax to everything in life.
Everything exists to a certain point and then something in perpetuity is unlocked.
Whenever a climax is reached, an open door exists and lies in wait to be entered!

94
If life was all about a means to only a climax not making way for another entry into
another unknown climax then Earth’s inhabitants would be extinct by now! Rightly so
because people would have reached their targets and would have hit brick walls to
terminate their living! There is only one book that is eternal in existence! It is the Bible!
It lives because its author dwells in timeless! This book exists in time so as the author!
It is not living but it contains life for it finds inspiration and its content from the only
living book!

Its journey comes to its climax! Every chapter was a decoding from what exists in this
life but mostly the focus on who exists in it! It should not be your manual book but
a referral! It is not an answer but an observation of the answers that most have van-
quished and let lies dominate! As you read this book, it was not meant to give you a
legalistic appreciation but rather an appreciation of reality! It is all about people! Peo-
ple exist on this Earth and this is undeniable! Hence to understand people you have to
understand the person and the Creator of the person!

This book is not conclusive, it can never be! The truth is the existence of a person and
his Creator! My assignment is to let you know how to relate! Relate to people but
largely to the Creator, i cannot do it conclusively but I point you how to! The rest is
up to you when you walk down the path if you choose it! The climax of this book is
reached alas another door awaits and has to be entered in! My desire is that you lock
in the truth of a person, a people and his Creator! This part of the journey is destina-
tion destined!

-RELATE-

95
Brad Odilo is a disciple of Jesus, a reader, writer, poet, spo-
ken word artist and speaker. He is passionate about sys-
tems, organisations and worldviews and how they shape
one’s perspectives and how they relate to their destiny. He
follows keenly on international relations and diplomacy
and seeks to grasp and exercise the dynamic front of how
individuals and thus nations engage each other for the ben-
efit of their personal and ultimately corporate development.

He is the founder of SalTyLiteS Incorporated, a organisation


that organises people to be of impact in their generation.

96